April 20, 2025 • 68 mins
Every path to redemption begins with a single moment of clarity. For me, that moment came at 18 years old, when I realized my position as a gang vice president gave me power over life and death – power that would inevitably lead me to prison, death, or a lifetime on the run.
My journey took me from the streets of Montreal to a football field in Florida, where a perceptive coach saw beyond my athletic abilities to the character underneath. But when an ankle injury and subsequent self-defense incident landed me in prison for 17 months, I faced the crushing uncertainty of not knowing when – or if – I would ever be released.
Behind bars, I discovered that violence was currency, respect had to be earned through strength, and structure existed even in chaos. I maintained my sanity through rigorous workouts, psychological readings, and hours spent connecting with the outside world by phone. These disciplines weren't just survival tactics – they were unknowingly preparing me for what came next.
The call that changed everything came via Snapchat, of all places – a professional football coach offering me a tryout with the Saskatchewan Roughriders. With nothing but determination and support from my mother and partner, I fought through physical challenges, financial hardships, and the lingering stigma of my criminal record to earn my place on the team.
Standing in a $350 million stadium where fans knew my name felt surreal after months in a cell with rats and mice. This stark contrast taught me that our darkest moments don't define our futures, but rather prepare us for opportunities we can't yet imagine. Everyone has a unique path – accepting and embracing that path, even when it looks nothing like what we envisioned, is how we find purpose.
Whether you're incarcerated, struggling with addiction, or simply feeling lost, know that your current circumstances aren't your final destination. Your experiences – even the painful ones – can become the foundation for meaningful impact. With structure and will, you can transform your life and light the way for others still finding their path.
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Episode Transcript
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Jonathan (00:00):
I want to say thank you to the listeners who took
the time out of their day forbeing here with me to listen to
my stories, and hopefully it'sgoing to have an impact on your
own life.
The purpose of this podcast isto be able to give some type of
(00:38):
hope or purpose to those whodon't have is because, as I got
older, I realized that only somany people out of the billions
of people we have on this planetactually had a meaningful life
(00:59):
enough that if their stories isshared with the world, they
could have a meaningful impactthat could help the next person
become a better version ofthemselves.
My goal is to just go throughsome of the experience I've had,
(01:22):
from jail to playingprofessional football, to
working in a management positionwith psychologists, to doing
close protection withhigh-profile clients and
celebrities.
My goal is to be able to putall my experience together and
(01:46):
be able to share that with theworld.
So hopefully, someone who feelslike me when I was in some of
the worst part of my life, forsomeone who feels like they're
in the worst place they couldpossibly be in their life, that
(02:06):
there's hope and opportunitiesfor them and with the right
structure and will you canachieve pretty much anything you
want, and let's dive right intoit.
So I have my background.
Currently, 30 years old, Icurrently do close protection
(02:27):
for high profile clients.
From doing clothes protection,I've worked in nightclubs as a
bouncer.
I was director oftransportation for a music
festival at the OverwatchTransportation for a music
festival at the OverwatchTransportation for entertainers
(02:48):
such as Deadmau5, rich the KidNav, don Tolliver and so on.
I have worked withpsychologists in a management
role for the past three, fouryears.
I've decided to move on to mybusiness and just focus on my
security company.
I have played professionalfootball as well, for the
(03:10):
Saskatchewan Rough Riders in2017.
And prior to that, I was want toget into the story of how I got
arrested, but before that, Iwant to kind of give you guys a
(03:33):
little bit of a background ofwhere I was at the time of my
arrest.
Let's backtrack back to when Iwas 18 years old.
I lived in Montreal.
I just got done playing with mylocal football team.
(03:54):
I just turned 18, I'm inMontreal and at that time, I was
a full-time gang member.
At that time, I was vicepresident of an unknown gang and
(04:17):
some of the perks that I hadfrom being a vice president was
leadership, control and armed.
I was very well armed as an18-year-old and I would say,
fast forward about six months in, I had to go see one of my
(04:39):
friends in a neighborhood thatis completely crip.
Neighborhood that is completelycrip.
For those who don't know whatthat means between the blood and
the crips, the blood is thecolor red, of course, for the
bloods and the crips are theblues.
We have that in Montreal.
The neighborhood where one ofmy friends lived was a
(05:00):
neighborhood that was crip.
I had to take the subway to getthere.
When I arrive to my station, I'mwearing one of the warmest, if
not the warmest jacket in theworld, which I believe is the
Canada Goose Expedition, and Ihad it in a red color.
(05:21):
The moment I arrive out of thesubway, I have about between six
and seven guys approach me.
Tell me take your jacket off,fam.
Do you know where you are?
But what these guys didn'tunderstand is that I knew where
I was and I knew that if I wasin such neighborhood, I was
prepared.
Well, I have about 22 rounds inmy pocket.
(05:43):
Well, I have about 22 rounds inmy pocket.
This kind of gives you guys anidea of where I was at when I
was 18.
Now my message was very clearto these guys you can try me if
you want to, but it's not goingto end well for none of you.
And I just put my hand in mypocket and sent them a visual
(06:05):
message of I'm armed and if youguys attack me, I will have no
choice but to defend myself.
The situation did not escalatepast that.
They decided to just go theirway.
I went my way.
I went my way.
(06:30):
But it did something to me thatday.
That day I realized that I hadthe power of life and death.
I felt like such power comeswith great responsibilities and
that if the situation would havede-escalated that day, I
wouldn't be here today toexplain you guys my journey.
(06:51):
What it did to me is that itmade me realize that being part
of a gang and having all thispower over life does not end
well.
It either ends up in jail orend up dead or on the run for
(07:12):
the rest of your life.
And somehow I'm someone who'svery intuitive and somehow I
kind of had a vision that if Idid not choose a better path for
myself, my life was not goingto end well and I started doing
(07:40):
researches on how I can playfootball in the United States
while being 19 and over.
And, just to kind of make itbriefly, I told my mom about my
project.
I told her I didn't want to bepart of this life anymore.
(08:02):
I want to play football.
Didn't want to be part of thislife anymore, I want to play
football.
I have a purpose in life and mypurpose is to be a professional
football player.
And my mom you know as toughfinancially as we were at the
time she said she's willing totake that sacrifice and take a
(08:24):
loan and take me to Florida.
I told her mom just get methere, I will find a school.
Like I will do the leg work, Iwill phone call the schools, I
will talk to the coaches, and Idid that for about two, three
weeks.
I had a few schools lined upfor me, but I really didn't have
anything going on for me.
(08:45):
It was really like the biggestleap of faith.
And after spending three weeksin Florida, I basically went out
of opportunities.
I ran out of schools, ran outof teams, I ran out of schools,
(09:05):
ran out of teams and I was aboutto leave on a Monday to go back
to Montreal, back to Canada,and on that Friday I had an
interview with this school,which was Palm Beach Lakes High
School in West Palm Beach.
(09:25):
I spoke briefly to theprincipal.
He told me he played in the NFL, he would love to meet me.
And you know we go to school.
I go to school with my mom andas I go to the school, you know,
like my regular I'm just aregular kid right Open the door
for my mom, you know, pull theseat back so she can sit down.
I talk briefly to the principaland he basically tells me that
(09:50):
they don't think they'll be ableto make something happen
because I have to leave in threedays.
But they will be in contactwith me.
Now, fast forward, I would say.
An hour later I get a phonecall from the head coach telling
me that he was watching methroughout my whole interaction
with the principal, with staffgetting in, getting out, opening
(10:14):
the door for my mom and, youknow, taking back the seat and
helping her sit down, and he'slike we need men like you around
here and he is going to doeverything in his power to have
me play on that team.
Well, I want to give hisflowers.
As I'm on a public platform, Iwant to say thank you to Coach
(10:39):
Sneed for giving me a chance.
I want to say thank you toWillie Sneed, the fourth, for
also practicing and trainingwith me while he was in the NFL.
At the time he was playing forthe Cleveland Browns with Johnny
Manziel, which was a pretty bigdeal.
They helped me become the manthat I am today.
(11:03):
That day after my phone callwith the coach, I was practicing
with the team.
The next day I was in theschool.
The next week Now, fast forwardto I believe at the time we're
in May, around the end of theschool year, fast forward to
October, third game of theseason I fractured my ankle, my
(11:27):
only season in the US.
After going through all thosetraining camps left and right,
from Alabama to Western Kentucky, to Florida State, you name it,
state, you name it I traveledthe whole summer with my school
(11:49):
to these universities and dotraining camps and to rectify.
We did not go to Florida State,but we definitely went to
Alabama real tight After Ifractured my ankle.
I didn't actually believe thatI fractured my ankle.
I kept playing that game.
It got worse.
The next day I flew back hometo go get some treatments and
x-rays and figure out what waswrong with my foot.
(12:10):
I found that it was fractured.
I found out that my season waspretty much over.
I wouldn't be able to walk forthree months and I would have to
relearn how to walk after threemonths.
For three months and I wouldhave to relearn how to walk
after three months, I go back tothe border to fly back to
finish my school year becauseI'm like you know football is
(12:35):
over.
But you know, I'm still goingto support my team.
I'm still going to be on thesideline, I'm still going to
help the guys with the book.
I'm still going to be a memberof this organization and support
my team in any possible way.
You're injured.
You're still part of the team.
I was declined at the border togo to US because I didn't have a
visa to be in the United States.
Mind you, I was there since May.
(12:58):
I was in high school.
I had two transcripts from theprevious year.
That year I visited about 10universities, did about 15
(13:20):
training camps, from trainingcamp at Cincinnati University or
the Nike camp in Miami.
I was pretty much as active infootball as you possibly could
be.
I know a lot of coachesremember me during those days
because I was six foot Canadianand I ran a four, four, four,
four five.
So that was pretty rare at thetime and I was around 200 pounds
.
Why this is so relevant isbecause after I got denied at
(13:45):
the border, I was now back inCanada without being able to go
back to school.
Within those three months Idecided to go on a date with a
woman who you know.
While I was playing football inFlorida she was reaching out to
me.
Then I'm back in the countrynow.
(14:06):
I'm available, you know, and Iwas sitting there all the time
and we decided to go to a bar.
But mind you, I'm within my twomonths that I'm not supposed to
walk.
I'm limping.
I left my crutches in the car.
As we approached the bar, thelady that I'm with realizes her
(14:26):
ex is there and he's drunk.
I also recognize a few peoplein that group.
So as we walk in inside the barand I'm starting to feel a
little bit uncomfortable becauseI'm like these guys are there,
your ex is outside, I'm not surewhat might happen, so I decide
to leave.
She makes it outside before meas I'm leaving and saying bye to
(14:46):
the owner.
As I walk outside, this is allI'm seeing X grabs her and
throws her on a vehicle andstarts, you know, try to punch
her and stuff, and I, you knowI'm trying to get to him as I'm
limping, as I told him to stop.
You know, like just dude, juststop what you're doing.
He turned around, hit me, thenpulled out a knife, tried to
(15:10):
stab me.
We fought for the knife.
He ended up getting stabbed.
There was no cameras.
There's some witnesses, therewas independent witnesses, there
was independent witnesses andlong story short, the story was
that he attacked me.
(15:31):
That's what he told the cops.
He attacked me and I got aknife out and apparently I
chased him and stabbed him.
Apparently, our independentwitness which is someone I don't
know, they don't know someonewho was in the parking lot saw a
black male with a red Canadagoose getting jumped by three
(15:53):
Latin-looking persons or Latinos, I don't know how you put it
together.
After the event, I was living ata friend's house and did not
know the cops was looking for meuntil I got arrested.
It was pretty much straight outof a movie.
The person who ratted me out,which was a close friend of mine
(16:15):
, said that myself was going torob an armored vehicle with
motorcycles and assault riflesand Jeep Trackhawks and it was
like a scene out of a movie.
But all the charges would dropfrom a couple days later.
But initially they were alladded on top of all my previous
(16:39):
charges.
They denied my bail becausethey believed that I was a
flight risk because I was goingto school four months ago in
Florida.
Now, without doing any type ofverification, without calling
(17:00):
the border, this was theirconclusion.
The border, this was theirconclusion.
They have decided that me,jonathan, who at the time was 21
, I don't have a criminal recordas an adult, first time being
arrested I'm denied bail becauseI'm a flight risk that might go
(17:23):
to United States of America andrun from the law.
And if you guys remember fromme talking a couple minutes ago,
I just mentioned that I gotdenied entry in United States
because I didn't have a visa.
Therefore, it was impossible.
(17:43):
I didn't have a visa.
Therefore, it was impossible,literally impossible, for me to
cross the border from Canada tothe US.
Yet this was the main groundthe.
(18:09):
Can you just imagine for asecond, a kid who decided to
change his life, go playfootball, gets himself in a
self-defense conflict betweentwo parties.
He say.
She say I have to spend 17months in the worst possible
(18:37):
place that mankind has createdto put mankind.
I was there.
The reason why it was so toughwas because I actually had no
clue when I was going to bereleased from prison.
They didn't give me a date, Ididn't have a sentence until 15
(19:04):
months in.
So for 15 months I'mincarcerated in the system with
the worst possible criminal ofmy city because I defended
myself, because they think I'mflight risk.
So during those 17 months I hadso many challenges.
(19:27):
Not knowing when you're gettingout of jail is defeating.
It's defeating because you areput in a cage where they would
not even put a dog yet becauseyou have breaking one of the
(19:50):
millions of rules that we havecreated for you to make your
life harder.
We will put you in a cage withthe baddest and the worst dogs
there is in society.
And when you get out of there,if you get out of there, if you
get out of there, of course wewant you to reform yourself.
(20:13):
We want you to be better thanwhen you got in.
Please make it make sense.
Not only I was put in themaximum unit with people that
were there for murder, attemptmurder, kidnapping the most
violent crimes.
That wasn't the unit I was in,but there as a kid among grown
(20:37):
men, and it didn't take long forme to make my mark.
It took about, I think, a week.
I fought the biggest andbaddest mother ever in the unit.
In the unit and it was oversomething very dumb.
(21:01):
You know, it's a lesson that Iwas taught very early in my time
incarcerated that violence winsperiod.
Whoever's the most violent willmost likely be in a position of
leadership, because in prison,as much as they showcase,
there's guards, there's walls,there's nurses.
(21:22):
You know there's a warden.
There actually is no structure.
They put you in a cage, theyclose the cage and they say
here's food, give us the foodback, here's more food, give us
the food back.
It's time to sleep, it's timeto wake up.
Oh, we're just going to walkaround and make sure y'all still
(21:42):
alive, but that's about it.
Their job of these correctionalofficers is to make sure you're
alive, because as long as youare alive while incarcerated
they make all this money.
But we're going to get intothat, you know, a bit later.
(22:04):
Now some of the toughest thingsI had to deal with, like I said,
was I had a fight.
I had a fight with you know big, strong, tall Russian guy who
woke up every morning.
He ran around the range and itwas really my fault.
I decided to smoke somecannabis and it was very strong
(22:32):
and I lost my headphones.
After I lost my headphones, Istarted accusing people of
taking my shit and I toldsomeone that my headphones are
gone.
I'm just going to take whoeverelse's headphone I did.
I took someone's headphonesfrom their table and just was
(22:57):
like, yeah, that's mine now andif somebody got a problem about
it they could say somethingabout it.
At that time, when I made thatdecision, I had not personally
experienced any type of violencein jail.
Like why is everyone so quiet?
Why is everyone so chill here?
Like you know what I mean.
Like they make jail seem likeit's so dangerous and you know
(23:21):
if you drop the soap you mightget in trouble and you know
people are getting stabbed everyday.
Well, I sure found out that day.
Whoever's headphones I took, hisfriend said this black guy over
there took it.
And I responded with oh, so youwere a snitch, huh.
He said oh, I'm a snitch.
Okay, let me talk to you in thecell real quick and I'm just
(23:43):
like, well, shit, all right,what's so interesting that this
guy is going to tell me that heneeds to be?
You know, one-on-one with me inthe cell.
You know I was very naive thatday I got into the cell, you
know.
But I was very naive that day.
I got into the cell and yousaid you called me a snitch.
(24:08):
I'm like, yes, I did.
And he headbutted me so hardthat I literally snapped out of
myself and became somebody elseand I responded with so many
punches and elbows and knees hehad to tell me stop.
He said like literally stop,stop, like stop, I'm good.
He was very bloody.
There's blood all over my cell.
(24:29):
And as I'm getting out of mycell and as I'm getting out of
my cell because we're in my cellI see about four faces stacked
in the glass door of my cell.
Basically higher ups in therange were looking at the fight
(24:50):
to see how I was going to holdup.
The next day they made mepresident of all immigrants
Black, yellow, green.
If you're not white, youbasically are under my authority
.
That day I understood thestructure of jail.
I didn't get it until that day.
So I understood there was astructure.
(25:13):
I understood there was astructure among inmates.
I understood that there was acommittee and most units there's
a committee, there's apresident, there's a vice
president.
Their job is to make sure thatinmates don't do riots, make
alcohol because alcohol makespeople violent Found that out
(25:39):
real quick in jail and that welive somewhat in peace and
coexist somewhat with some formof peace with the correctional
officers.
That's mainly it.
Everything else is, in myopinion, is extracurriculum.
So as a president you do have afew duties, but it's mainly the
(26:01):
trafficking and the violenceand the fights and all the stuff
happening that you pretty muchhave to oversee.
Make sure that it stayscontrolled, but that's mainly
the job of the president, butthat's mainly the job of the
president.
From there on my journey,changed from.
You know time sucks.
I'm not doing anything to I'mwaking up and you know I got
(26:24):
meetings.
I have to meet with mycommittee.
I have to make sure everythingruns smooth.
I have to make sure that ifthere's any type of trafficking
happening in the unit, well, thetraffic is shared fairly
between the ethnicities.
So if the whites have drugs,well, they need to give the
blacks drugs so we don't robthem and vice versa.
(26:50):
I've learned a lot of thoserules that they don't talk about
, you know, on the news about,you know in movies.
They make it seem like jail isjust this dangerous hellhole
where you go there you're dead,you're getting stabbed, you're
going to drop the soap and so on.
(27:10):
So that was kind of the mainchallenges was not knowing what
I was going to get out.
Having to deal with all thestuff I had to deal with.
You know, from being apresident wanting freedom.
Wanting freedom was just soimportant to me at that point
that everything else didn'tmatter.
How did I keep my sanity injail was fairly simple, but it
(27:37):
had a lot to do withsocialization.
I realized a lot that over time.
One of the cons of beingincarcerated because there are
pros about being incarceratedfrom learning life lesson,
boundaries, rules, respect,authority One of the cons was
(28:00):
that you could be transferredany day of the week, but also
they can add anyone to your unitany day of the week.
You're also isolated and youdon't get to see, you know or
have any type of relationshipbecause you know incarcerated
right.
It's very tough on yourrelationships outside.
(28:23):
It's very tough on your family.
If you're someone who's veryclose with your parents, it's
very tough on your partner.
If you're in a relationship youknow I have a girlfriend, wife,
kids it's very tough on thekids.
That's the hardest part ofbeing in prison.
Everything else can be managedBecause leave humans for a
(28:46):
certain period of time in acertain environment.
They're literally just going toadapt, get comfortable in that
bad environment.
Like I was saying, one of thefew ways that I kept my sanity
was working out.
I worked out almost every day,if not twice a day, to the point
where they would call me thefootball player.
That was my nickname.
(29:06):
In jail I made footballprograms.
I made sorry, not footballprograms, but I made gym
programs for inmates.
I made gym programs for inmatesI made gym programs for for
some of the ceos.
Because I spent that much timein the gym and because everybody
called me the football player,my charges were related to
(29:29):
self-defense.
The ceos didn't really look atme as the guy who robbed the
bank, I mean, or the guy whocommitted the bank you know what
I mean or the guy who committedmurder.
It was more like man.
This kid defended himself.
The law sucks, but he's hereand you know.
If we need anything from theworld of fitness, we can ask
(29:51):
them, which they did, and I, youknow, respected that entirely.
I also spent a lot of timereading.
I had a lot of books onbehavior psychology anything
from Robert Greene from 48 Lawsof Power, the Art of Seduction
and I spent a lot of time on thephone.
I spent some days, three hours,four hours on the phone.
(30:14):
I believe that's what kept mesane as my body was in jail.
My brain was outside, I wasable to communicate with my
friends, I was able to be onsocial media All that through
the phone, of course.
Keep people updated and keepmyself updated of what's going
(30:37):
on in the outside world.
A lot of people don't realizeit.
It's very easy to be isolatedfrom the world while being
incarcerated.
You get the news through thephone, through newspaper or
through TV.
If all of these three thingsare disconnected or are not
working, or the jail is onshutdown, for whatever reason,
(31:00):
you are literally disconnectedfrom the world.
You have no clue what's goingon.
That was very tough, becausethey only allow certain books in
a unit.
They only allow certain booksIn a unit.
You know, let's say I'm someonewho likes to spend time on the
(31:22):
phone.
There might be five phones, sixphones for 60 inmates, 65
inmates.
In the unit that had the mostphone, or I believe they had 10
phones, there was 195 inmates.
So sometimes calling was likevery difficult.
(31:45):
It was very difficult to be ableto get an opportunity to be
able to be on the phone withyour loved ones, and it was the
way for me to keep my sanity wasthrough the phone, a million
percent, because I could be onthe phone, listen to music,
listen to the news, listen to avideo, listen.
(32:07):
I could listen to a whole moviewhile on the phone.
Just tell my friend, bro, justplay me this movie that just
came out, right.
So I want to say thank you toBrandon.
By the way, I want to give himhis flowers.
Hopefully it goes public verysoon Because he was the person
(32:30):
that I was on the phone withevery day when I was
incarcerated.
He would call people for me.
He would stay on the phone with.
Every day I was incarcerated,he would call people for me.
He would stay on the phone forme, and sometimes it would be
like five hours, six hoursstraight.
He would stay on the phone and,yeah, thank you, brandon Gage,
(32:56):
thank you.
Jail had pros.
It was not all bad days besidesthe fact that it was mostly bad
days but there was a certainbrotherhood that was built from
being around certain inmates.
I got transferred at some pointin a range that was Hells
Angels affiliated and it'salmost like I went from the
(33:22):
jungle to the corporate worldovernight, because I went from
an environment where violence isking.
Somebody tries you, you gottarun a fade, you gotta throw
hands.
It's an environment where guysdon't fight, guys don't even
(33:43):
yell at each other, guys don'tinsult each other.
Guys are just so laid back.
They just wanna work out, talkto their wives and that's it.
Do their time.
I've learned a lot about beingaround older men who have been
in the organized crime life forlong periods of time.
(34:05):
I've learned so much aboutbeing around these guys, from
decisions to make friends, topick positions to put yourself
in and sacrifices to make.
Because some of these guys, youknow I did time.
You know, when I was in thatrange, I believe I had some
mobsters with me.
I started training this mobsterwho was my roommate.
(34:29):
I made him lose around 35, 40pounds and you know he was
explaining to me a lot about.
You know the life, the mob life,and how it's just such a
brotherhood that is so tight,it's a family that is so tight
for the past 50, 60, 70 yearsthat it is very tough to be a
(34:51):
regular shmegular guy and notwant to participate or be part
of something that is so bigright.
It's like having this badge onyou saying like bro, I'm a
mobster.
You know what I had to do to bea mobster?
I make one phone call and yourday is horrible, your day is
done.
I understood the pride behindthat.
(35:13):
I understood the pride behindthat and it was sad for me to
see how organized, howsuccessful the mobsters and the
bikers were when my people areshooting at each other, fighting
each other over the smallestthings, over the dumbest things.
(35:39):
Right, I grew up in aneighborhood that had Crips and
Bloods.
Well, when I was 15, I made myown gang with Crips and Bloods
because I didn't understand whyour own people would fight each
other over a color.
To me, it just didn't makesense.
You're telling me that I'mgoing to kill my own cousin
(36:06):
because he's wearing blue today.
It just didn't make sense to me, right?
So that followed me throughoutmy life and throughout you know
jail and incarceration, where itwas very easy for me to be
around such organized leaders inyou know, the organized crime
(36:30):
industry, because I'm not a guywho talks a lot.
I like to learn, I'm veryrespectful.
Like I said, I know my position.
I knew that at the time I wasthe athlete in the range or the
unit, I was the guy who workedout, you know.
So I would work out with theguys, you know I would start
helping them, you know, gettheir body slowly back to normal
(36:51):
, right.
And I made some contacts, madesome friends.
I was you friends.
It was a great experience forthat sense, because if it wasn't
for prison, I would not meetthese kind of people, you would
not have these kinds ofconversations because they don't
have to, they don't have tomingle with a guy like me, they
(37:15):
don't have to talk to a guy likeme because their organization
is just so set in stone, it'sjust so successful.
Everyone has their position,everyone respects their position
, everybody respects theauthority.
No one is challenging theirsuperiors, no one is challenging
the system, their superiors, noone is challenging the system.
(37:37):
And that to me, you know,coming from a background of
football player.
I was just so amazed by thatbecause you know us black folks,
(38:01):
you know where I came from.
We did not know suchorganization.
It was like a myth, almost so.
Finally, you know, after 17months of being incarcerated,
I'm found guilty, after, youknow, spending a lot of time in
trial after having a detectivetrying to intimidate my witness,
which I don't know if that wasnormal, but it definitely
happened I spent two monthssentence before three Supreme
(38:24):
Court judges decided to suspendmy sentence.
Once they suspended my sentence, I got released from prison
immediately and I was done withthe province.
I was done with the city.
A few other situations happenedafterwards that made me just
(38:44):
want to leave the citycompletely.
How did I leave the city andwhere did I go?
Well, everything changed for mewhen one day, I get a video
call on Snapchat.
Shout out to Snapchat.
I get a video call from one ofmy buddies and you know, when
(39:11):
you're picking up the phone fromone of your friends, you're
like bro, what's up?
Like you know, foolish, right.
You're picking up the phonefrom one of your friends.
You're like bro, what's up?
Like you know, foolish, right?
Like not picking up the phone.
Like you're talking to yourboss.
Well, the head coach of theSaskatchewan Rough Riders, which
is a professional football teamin the Canadian Football League
, asked about me.
(39:31):
Ask about me because one of hisrecruiters saw me playing
football in West Palm Beach ayear and a half ago, two years
ago.
He asked about me and askedwhere was I now?
And somehow one of the playerson the team was like well, I
(39:53):
know this guy.
One of the players on the teamwas like well, I know this guy.
He was playing in Florida andbrought me and four of my other
teammates to come play footballwith him in Florida.
And the coach asked him if hehad any ways to reach me.
He said yeah, I have a Snapchat.
Well, I'll tell you this.
Chris Jones, the head coach ofthe Saskatchewan Warfighters,
(40:15):
who is now believed theassistant defensive coordinator
with Bill Belichick, who was thehead coach of the Patriots and
some college team in the US.
Now Coach Jones decided that hewas not going to call me in no
traditional phone call and sendme no emails.
(40:37):
He was going to call me onSnapchat and let me know what's
up right away, ask me if I washealthy, ask me if I still
wanted to play football and Ijust said yes, yes, yes to all
the questions.
It was a lie.
I was not healthy, but I wantedto play football.
I knew that.
I just haven't played footballin so long.
(41:00):
Right, I've just been.
You know workouts in jail, butnot really football workouts.
There's no grass in jail, it'sgravel and metal everywhere.
Now they flew me out toSaskatchewan about two weeks
later.
I'm thinking that you know,I've just made the team somehow.
(41:24):
I had no clue at the time how aprofessional organization works
in the world of sports works inthe world of sports.
My first day I get there, theygive me a place to stay.
I'm like this is great.
(41:46):
They tell me where the stadiumis.
They give me a locker, like man, this is amazing.
I had no clue that that exactday that I arrived I would have
to actually play football.
I'm not going to lie to you, Ihad no clue.
(42:07):
Well, that day they made me doone-on-ones as a receiver and a
running back against DBs thatwere playing on the team, that
are trying to make the team,that have been playing on the
team in the NFL, that wereplaying, maybe, in the NFL prior
.
Now they're playing here,college players, current CFL
(42:31):
players.
I had to compete against all ofthat in one day and somehow I
dominated.
I remember I totally dominatedthat day.
It's not that I had nothingelse to give, but it was more
like I have everything to prove.
(42:51):
There's nothing else to me butthis.
I have everything to prove.
There's nothing else to me butthis.
This is where I am.
I'm a football player.
So the next day made me realizethe difference between a
professional athlete and just aregular person.
I was exhausted, I was tired,my body could not move, as the
(43:14):
first day and I pulled myhamstring.
Pulled my hamstring on thesecond day.
I was out for three months andthe coaches told me we're going
to give you a place to stay.
You're going to have to getyourself ready for the season
(43:37):
Start in September, maybeOctober, I believe at the time
the season starts in August.
You're going to get a place tostay, but you're going to have
to feed yourself.
You're going to have to getyourself to practice and you're
going to have to get yourself topractice and you're going to
have to work on this, this legof yours and this hamstring that
(44:01):
you pulled.
Challenge accepted, I can tellyou guys, this was one of the
toughest time of my life.
Let me tell y'all why it was sotough was one of the toughest
times of my life.
Let me tell y'all why it was sotough.
(44:22):
It was tough because, to theworld, I became a professional
athlete.
I'm on social media right, Ihave my own locker, I'm with the
players, I'm at the stadium.
I had access to all theseresources.
But financially it was astruggle and I tried my best to
(44:44):
change my financial situation byapplying to so many jobs but
due to still being in court ofappeal, I still had aggravated
assault attached to my name.
So when the jobs did interviews, they can see that I have a
criminal record and that I'm acriminal on paper.
Now, because I'm a criminal onpaper, it don't matter if I'm a
(45:12):
professional football player.
You can't hire a criminal towork for us.
So guess what?
I never got a job.
During the off season I wasliving off of my mother sending
me $75, $50 to $75 a week forfood, and I was living off my
(45:43):
partner at the time.
You know she was helping mefrom going to practice, going to
stadium, going to wherever Ineeded to be, and I want to say,
shout out to my partner at thattime and my mom.
So I had to budget myself oneating lots of ground beef, lots
(46:07):
of pastas, lots of eggs everyweek, every week Until I made
the team.
So my journey to the league.
(46:28):
Nobody actually knows it,nobody actually understand the
struggle it took me to make itto training camp.
Not only I didn't have enoughmoney to actually fully fuel
myself, I didn't have a car, Ididn't have the finances to own
(46:51):
my own place, and there was onlyso many football players that
played on the team that actuallylived in Regina, the city that
I was in.
And those players that lived inRegina, those professional
athletes that lived in the city.
They had their own lives.
They have wives, they havehouses, they have cars, they got
(47:15):
their own gym, they got theirown sponsors.
Like, life is good for them.
They're not going to want tomingle with me.
Jonathan, who just got out ofprison, that's the last thing
they want to mingle with.
So most players didn't reallyhang out with me Because I had
(47:35):
the gel mentality.
It was like, yeah, we gotbrotherhood, but try me and I'll
fuck you up.
Disrespect me and we won'tsquabble.
Try me and I'll fuck you up.
Disrespect me and we'llsquabble Because, in jail, any
situation with another man, ifwe're not happy about how the
(47:57):
situation or the conflict ofwhere it's heading, the tone,
the aggressiveness, anythingrelated to that conflict, we're
going to go in a cell andsquabble up.
The only thing is I'm winningthat squabble every single time.
Am I proud of having all thesefights in jail?
No, but you don't have a choice.
(48:17):
It's either you get walked onor you have to walk on someone
else.
Now, was I a bully?
No, I never believe in bullying.
I always believe in brotherhoodand growth and team effort.
Bullies are people that havebig egos and they need to define
their egos with people that aresmaller than them by crushing
(48:39):
them, and they usually do it infront of others.
So the reaction of witnessesactually they feed off of that,
you know.
Now, going back to football, thebudget I had was insane.
Not only I had to go to myregular football practice at
(49:02):
least once a day, but I wouldalso go to a gym.
A gym decided to give me thekeys to their location and I was
allowed to go to the gymwhenever I want.
You know, past nine o'clock, Iwould go to the gym at two in
the morning, three in themorning, four in the morning, as
long as my partner was there totake me, or, you know, if maybe
(49:23):
I had a teammate around to takeme there and I had to be
consistent from going to dotrack and fields once a week,
going to do hydrotherapy torebuild strength in my lower
back, in my quads, in myhamstring, going to football
practice with all the big guys.
Well, guess what?
(49:43):
The coach decided to addanother challenge to it.
He tells me that because Ididn't play university or
college, he wants me to developmy body by playing on the junior
team as well.
I'm not taking too much of itbecause I just want to play
(50:08):
football.
It's all I have.
This is all I am.
I'm a football player.
This is who I am.
It was so hard to play for twoteams at the same time, two
different playbooks, twodifferent coaches, two different
coaching styles.
On the professional team, I'mplaying running back, but I'm
(50:29):
also playing defensive.
Back On the junior team, I amplaying running back, I am
playing returner, I'm playingthird string quarterback, I'm
playing receiver, and whereverthe coach felt like he could
just put me there because Iwould just say yes, I would not
(50:51):
put myself in a situation tomake my junior coach unhappy,
because I know that the juniorcoach and the head coach of the
professional team are buddiesand if a problem happens in one
field there's going to be aconsequence on the other field.
That's all I knew from playingon the junior team.
Now, after seven months, eightmonths of just grinding, finding
(51:20):
myself, putting the party lifeto the side, I was able to make
it to training camp, which was amonth long, two practice a day,
about two hours per practice,plus an hour of film every day,
(51:46):
mandatory ice tub and hot tubevery day.
I went from running back numberfive on the team to running
back number two by the secondweek because there was a lot of
injuries.
They dropped me back down torunning back number four, I
believe.
Injuries.
(52:09):
They dropped me back down torunning back number four, I
believe, after the training campwas done.
But it was very, very tough.
From working out every day Ihad to create my own structure
of healing myself From waking upearly, doing yoga, applying
magnesium oil on my muscles thatwere tight, rolling with the
(52:33):
foam roller.
I had a medicinal ball that Iwould use to move around my
joints and stuff To hydrationnutrition.
I was trying to eat as much aspossible during training camp
and just be very disciplined.
The hardest part for me wasdefinitely the playbook, because
I went from a high schoolplaybook to a professional
(52:56):
football playbook and everybodywho played high school, college,
nfl or CFL know that the momentyou switch to professional,
that playbook is thick.
There's an options for everyplay, there's an audible for
(53:17):
every play, there's a silentcount for every play and there's
a signal for every play in casethe stadium is too loud.
That was very tough.
That was definitely thetoughest part for me of playing
football was that.
Also, when I got my salary, myfirst check.
When I got my first check, itwas not what I was promised.
(53:42):
It was very low.
It was so low that I wouldn'tbe able to afford me a place to
live, even if I was to save thatmoney and I didn't have enough
money to have a vehicle or fullyfeed myself like I should eat
as a professional athleteplaying at a higher level.
(54:06):
That's how low my salary was.
I almost thought about quittingthe team the second day after I
got paid because I was so upset.
I was so upset that I've beentraining hard for eight, nine
months here budgeting.
(54:27):
I've been training hard foreight, nine months here
budgeting, sacrificing no life,not going out to being lied to.
And it's not that I was lied to, it's I was not told the truth
about the budget and theposition that I was in.
They decided to hire me as apractice roster player.
(54:48):
There was a certain budgetrelated to that.
You know, I was just notinformed and I would have loved
to be informed and kind of bementally prepared.
But you know, the salary cut.
That was definitely the toughesttime of playing on the team was
.
I'm here, I'm working four orfive times harder than everybody
(55:10):
else, yet my salary is notenough for me to go out and have
steak with my partner, or Ican't take out my linemen's or
my o-lines to eat.
You know, be like you know,guys, bro, it's been a crazy
week.
I had a great game last week.
(55:30):
Bro, let me treat y'all tosomething, because y'all play a
position that it's all aboutgiving back to the next man next
to you.
I couldn't do that.
So that was very tough for mefinancially.
You know, as much as I love thebrotherhood, as much as I love
the experience I've had playingon that team.
(55:51):
I believe that year we got abrand new $350 million stadium.
It was an absolutelyelectrifying experience,
experience Playing in the field.
You know the signing day withthe fans.
It was just.
It's just so unreal Because thefans in Saskatchewan love the
(56:17):
players so much and it's like acommunity sport where once
there's a game or once there'san event related to the
Saskatchewan Rough Riders, thecity will show up.
So one thing's for sureSaskatchewan Rough Riders has
some of the best fans in all ofsports period.
(56:48):
Things I would have loved toimprove my time as a football
player was just having more of asocial life, making friends,
learning more about players andtheir stories.
I've played with great players.
I've played with players that Isee play on tv, such as vince
(57:12):
young.
I remember that year when I wasplaying, vince young tried to
do a comeback.
It was, you know, like oh mygod, dude.
I used to play with you onmadden.
I used to play with you on n.
You're right next to me.
That was very unreal or surreal, but yet you know when it was
time to play.
(57:32):
You know like, he's myquarterback.
He's third string or fourthstring.
I'm fourth string, so I'velearned to separate the business
from friendship.
But me, compared to all theseother players there, I was not
social media guy, I wasn'tverified on social media, my
(57:52):
name did not ring any bells, butI just came out of jail.
That alone should have given methe respect that I deserved.
But you're not in anenvironment where people just
give you respect, in anenvironment where you have to
earn it right, they don't careif you were, you know, big
college superstar.
You're around.
(58:13):
You're around grown ass men andyou need to act accordingly.
You need to train as hard as us, if not harder.
You need to compete with us, ifnot more, and you need to bring
something to the table that isnot just sport related.
You know you have to dosomething for us, especially if
(58:33):
you're a rookie.
Make our life easier, right, aswe accept you in our unit.
So I've learned a lot of greatthings from playing around these
men.
Some of these guys are, you know, my friends for life and you
know it was an overall.
(58:55):
It was an overall experiencethat I would go through again,
but I would document it.
It's an experience that I wouldgo through again, just because
it felt like I had a purpose inlife.
(59:15):
It felt like as I left jail andI had no clue what I was going
to do for myself, I got adirection.
I had no clue what I was goingto do for myself.
(59:44):
I got a direction.
That direction was football.
Therefore, I started working inthe field of psychology with
psychologists doing coursedetection is we, as people, need
to have goals, we need to haveobjectives, we need to have a
path, we need to have a path.
(01:00:15):
What this experience has broughtto me is that, even in the
worst possible place that youcould imagine you are right now,
which is either jail or worsethan jail, you're in the hole.
In jail, there is anopportunity for you to put all
the stuff you've lived, combineit and create some form of
success with it.
Now that success might not looklike what you've envisioned.
(01:00:40):
You might not become thatrapper, that career of
professional athlete might notbe what's waiting for you
outside of these bars, but yourlife is not over To go from
(01:01:01):
being in the hole, you know,with rats and mices, on a cold
bunk bed, with a camera lookingat me 24 hours a day, while also
being 23 hours in my cell andhaving only one hour to either
take a shower or call my lovedones.
I went from that to beingplaying in a $350 million
(01:01:25):
stadium, you know, six monthslater, with people asking for
autographs people knew my name,people were giving me free stuff
.
People want to touch me becauseI play on this team, you know,
and of course we're talking.
You know, hugs and stuff Feltunreal.
(01:01:46):
It felt like, after all thispain I just experienced from
being incarcerated, not knowingwhen I'm coming out, and the
multitude of injustice that Ihave faced myself from the
Canadian justice system orAmerican justice system, to be
honest, it felt like God gave meanother purpose, god gave me a
(01:02:13):
new path, but when I was in jailI didn't see that.
I didn't believe it Because Ican't see past the bars, I can't
see past the barbed wire.
So I want you to know, youlistener, who is still here
(01:02:35):
right now.
I want to say thank you, thankyou for taking the time out of
your day, out of your night, outof your life, to immerse
yourself in a glimpse of my life, and I hope that you're in
(01:03:15):
right now.
There is more for you toaccomplish in this world.
In this world, you think yourlife is over because they've
sent you to jail for 20 years,25 years.
No, sir, your life is not over.
(01:03:37):
You can use your years of jailprior to jail the reason why you
got incarcerated to create amemoir for people that live the
life that you live to know thatthis is not it.
This is not the life they wantto live.
(01:03:58):
But it only took you 10 or 15years of being incarcerated for
you to switch that switch and belike this, is not it?
15 years of being incarceratedfor you to switch that switch
and be like this is not it.
I can't believe I have absorbedall this information that told
me violence was the way out, thegangster life was the way of
(01:04:24):
success.
Selling drugs is going to getme that million dollars.
It's wrong.
It's completely wrong.
The universe, god, has createda path for everyone on this
earth, but it is your job tohave the will to accept that
(01:04:46):
path and then fulfill it, and itmight not be what you hoped it
to be.
Someone out there in this worldis cutting grass.
(01:05:06):
They became a millionaire offof cutting grass.
You really think they woke upwhen they were 10 years old and
told the world I'm going to cutgrass and become a
multi-millionaire cutting grass?
No, but guess what?
Now they're multi-millionaire.
Now they have an llc.
Now they're making millions ofdollars in revenue every year.
(01:05:27):
Now they can hire people andgive those people opportunities.
Because, you see, one thingI've learned about being in a
position of power or having abusiness is that I am not just a
user anymore, I'm not just aconsumer anymore.
(01:05:48):
I'm an employer.
I'm giving opportunities backto people to feed their families
, create a lifestyle, reachtheir goal and get them closer
to their path.
And get them closer to theirpath.
(01:06:10):
So I believe that the universehas put me here on this earth to
share my experiences, to sharewhat I have been through.
So if you guys are lost or ifyou guys are in a dark tunnel, I
(01:06:32):
really hope that you canutilize me, my information, my
life, to put a tiny, tiny, tinylight in that tunnel, so at
least you know in what directionyou're going.
That is going to be my purposein life.
I want to say thank you again,like I said, to everyone who
(01:06:56):
tuned in today.
This is my third or fourth timerecording this episode.
I initially recorded it about ayear and a half ago.
(01:07:27):
A lot of things have happenedduring that time, going much
time listening to me, a personthey have never met, to give
them inspiration to become thebest version of themselves.
Stay tuned for the nextepisodes.
We're going to go over closeprotection.
We're going to go overpsychology.
(01:07:49):
We're going to go over acombination of all those things
and how we can utilize myexperiences in life to make you
better.
On that note, have a good restof your night and stay safe.
I want to say thank you to the listeners who took
the time out of their day forbeing here with me to listen to
my stories, and hopefully it'sgoing to have an impact on your
own life.
The purpose of this podcast isto be able to give some type of
(00:38):
hope or purpose to those whodon't have is because, as I got
older, I realized that only somany people out of the billions
of people we have on this planetactually had a meaningful life
(00:59):
enough that if their stories isshared with the world, they
could have a meaningful impactthat could help the next person
become a better version ofthemselves.
My goal is to just go throughsome of the experience I've had,
(01:22):
from jail to playingprofessional football, to
working in a management positionwith psychologists, to doing
close protection withhigh-profile clients and
celebrities.
My goal is to be able to putall my experience together and
(01:46):
be able to share that with theworld.
So hopefully, someone who feelslike me when I was in some of
the worst part of my life, forsomeone who feels like they're
in the worst place they couldpossibly be in their life, that
(02:06):
there's hope and opportunitiesfor them and with the right
structure and will you canachieve pretty much anything you
want, and let's dive right intoit.
So I have my background.
Currently, 30 years old, Icurrently do close protection
(02:27):
for high profile clients.
From doing clothes protection,I've worked in nightclubs as a
bouncer.
I was director oftransportation for a music
festival at the OverwatchTransportation for a music
festival at the OverwatchTransportation for entertainers
(02:48):
such as Deadmau5, rich the KidNav, don Tolliver and so on.
I have worked withpsychologists in a management
role for the past three, fouryears.
I've decided to move on to mybusiness and just focus on my
security company.
I have played professionalfootball as well, for the
(03:10):
Saskatchewan Rough Riders in2017.
And prior to that, I was want toget into the story of how I got
arrested, but before that, Iwant to kind of give you guys a
(03:33):
little bit of a background ofwhere I was at the time of my
arrest.
Let's backtrack back to when Iwas 18 years old.
I lived in Montreal.
I just got done playing with mylocal football team.
(03:54):
I just turned 18, I'm inMontreal and at that time, I was
a full-time gang member.
At that time, I was vicepresident of an unknown gang and
(04:17):
some of the perks that I hadfrom being a vice president was
leadership, control and armed.
I was very well armed as an18-year-old and I would say,
fast forward about six months in, I had to go see one of my
(04:39):
friends in a neighborhood thatis completely crip.
Neighborhood that is completelycrip.
For those who don't know whatthat means between the blood and
the crips, the blood is thecolor red, of course, for the
bloods and the crips are theblues.
We have that in Montreal.
The neighborhood where one ofmy friends lived was a
(05:00):
neighborhood that was crip.
I had to take the subway to getthere.
When I arrive to my station, I'mwearing one of the warmest, if
not the warmest jacket in theworld, which I believe is the
Canada Goose Expedition, and Ihad it in a red color.
(05:21):
The moment I arrive out of thesubway, I have about between six
and seven guys approach me.
Tell me take your jacket off,fam.
Do you know where you are?
But what these guys didn'tunderstand is that I knew where
I was and I knew that if I wasin such neighborhood, I was
prepared.
Well, I have about 22 rounds inmy pocket.
(05:43):
Well, I have about 22 rounds inmy pocket.
This kind of gives you guys anidea of where I was at when I
was 18.
Now my message was very clearto these guys you can try me if
you want to, but it's not goingto end well for none of you.
And I just put my hand in mypocket and sent them a visual
(06:05):
message of I'm armed and if youguys attack me, I will have no
choice but to defend myself.
The situation did not escalatepast that.
They decided to just go theirway.
I went my way.
I went my way.
(06:30):
But it did something to me thatday.
That day I realized that I hadthe power of life and death.
I felt like such power comeswith great responsibilities and
that if the situation would havede-escalated that day, I
wouldn't be here today toexplain you guys my journey.
(06:51):
What it did to me is that itmade me realize that being part
of a gang and having all thispower over life does not end
well.
It either ends up in jail orend up dead or on the run for
(07:12):
the rest of your life.
And somehow I'm someone who'svery intuitive and somehow I
kind of had a vision that if Idid not choose a better path for
myself, my life was not goingto end well and I started doing
(07:40):
researches on how I can playfootball in the United States
while being 19 and over.
And, just to kind of make itbriefly, I told my mom about my
project.
I told her I didn't want to bepart of this life anymore.
(08:02):
I want to play football.
Didn't want to be part of thislife anymore, I want to play
football.
I have a purpose in life and mypurpose is to be a professional
football player.
And my mom you know as toughfinancially as we were at the
time she said she's willing totake that sacrifice and take a
(08:24):
loan and take me to Florida.
I told her mom just get methere, I will find a school.
Like I will do the leg work, Iwill phone call the schools, I
will talk to the coaches, and Idid that for about two, three
weeks.
I had a few schools lined upfor me, but I really didn't have
anything going on for me.
(08:45):
It was really like the biggestleap of faith.
And after spending three weeksin Florida, I basically went out
of opportunities.
I ran out of schools, ran outof teams, I ran out of schools,
(09:05):
ran out of teams and I was aboutto leave on a Monday to go back
to Montreal, back to Canada,and on that Friday I had an
interview with this school,which was Palm Beach Lakes High
School in West Palm Beach.
(09:25):
I spoke briefly to theprincipal.
He told me he played in the NFL, he would love to meet me.
And you know we go to school.
I go to school with my mom andas I go to the school, you know,
like my regular I'm just aregular kid right Open the door
for my mom, you know, pull theseat back so she can sit down.
I talk briefly to the principaland he basically tells me that
(09:50):
they don't think they'll be ableto make something happen
because I have to leave in threedays.
But they will be in contactwith me.
Now, fast forward, I would say.
An hour later I get a phonecall from the head coach telling
me that he was watching methroughout my whole interaction
with the principal, with staffgetting in, getting out, opening
(10:14):
the door for my mom and, youknow, taking back the seat and
helping her sit down, and he'slike we need men like you around
here and he is going to doeverything in his power to have
me play on that team.
Well, I want to give hisflowers.
As I'm on a public platform, Iwant to say thank you to Coach
(10:39):
Sneed for giving me a chance.
I want to say thank you toWillie Sneed, the fourth, for
also practicing and trainingwith me while he was in the NFL.
At the time he was playing forthe Cleveland Browns with Johnny
Manziel, which was a pretty bigdeal.
They helped me become the manthat I am today.
(11:03):
That day after my phone callwith the coach, I was practicing
with the team.
The next day I was in theschool.
The next week Now, fast forwardto I believe at the time we're
in May, around the end of theschool year, fast forward to
October, third game of theseason I fractured my ankle, my
(11:27):
only season in the US.
After going through all thosetraining camps left and right,
from Alabama to Western Kentucky, to Florida State, you name it,
state, you name it I traveledthe whole summer with my school
(11:49):
to these universities and dotraining camps and to rectify.
We did not go to Florida State,but we definitely went to
Alabama real tight After Ifractured my ankle.
I didn't actually believe thatI fractured my ankle.
I kept playing that game.
It got worse.
The next day I flew back hometo go get some treatments and
x-rays and figure out what waswrong with my foot.
(12:10):
I found that it was fractured.
I found out that my season waspretty much over.
I wouldn't be able to walk forthree months and I would have to
relearn how to walk after threemonths.
For three months and I wouldhave to relearn how to walk
after three months, I go back tothe border to fly back to
finish my school year becauseI'm like you know football is
(12:35):
over.
But you know, I'm still goingto support my team.
I'm still going to be on thesideline, I'm still going to
help the guys with the book.
I'm still going to be a memberof this organization and support
my team in any possible way.
You're injured.
You're still part of the team.
I was declined at the border togo to US because I didn't have a
visa to be in the United States.
Mind you, I was there since May.
(12:58):
I was in high school.
I had two transcripts from theprevious year.
That year I visited about 10universities, did about 15
(13:20):
training camps, from trainingcamp at Cincinnati University or
the Nike camp in Miami.
I was pretty much as active infootball as you possibly could
be.
I know a lot of coachesremember me during those days
because I was six foot Canadianand I ran a four, four, four,
four five.
So that was pretty rare at thetime and I was around 200 pounds
.
Why this is so relevant isbecause after I got denied at
(13:45):
the border, I was now back inCanada without being able to go
back to school.
Within those three months Idecided to go on a date with a
woman who you know.
While I was playing football inFlorida she was reaching out to
me.
Then I'm back in the countrynow.
(14:06):
I'm available, you know, and Iwas sitting there all the time
and we decided to go to a bar.
But mind you, I'm within my twomonths that I'm not supposed to
walk.
I'm limping.
I left my crutches in the car.
As we approached the bar, thelady that I'm with realizes her
(14:26):
ex is there and he's drunk.
I also recognize a few peoplein that group.
So as we walk in inside the barand I'm starting to feel a
little bit uncomfortable becauseI'm like these guys are there,
your ex is outside, I'm not surewhat might happen, so I decide
to leave.
She makes it outside before meas I'm leaving and saying bye to
(14:46):
the owner.
As I walk outside, this is allI'm seeing X grabs her and
throws her on a vehicle andstarts, you know, try to punch
her and stuff, and I, you knowI'm trying to get to him as I'm
limping, as I told him to stop.
You know, like just dude, juststop what you're doing.
He turned around, hit me, thenpulled out a knife, tried to
(15:10):
stab me.
We fought for the knife.
He ended up getting stabbed.
There was no cameras.
There's some witnesses, therewas independent witnesses, there
was independent witnesses andlong story short, the story was
that he attacked me.
(15:31):
That's what he told the cops.
He attacked me and I got aknife out and apparently I
chased him and stabbed him.
Apparently, our independentwitness which is someone I don't
know, they don't know someonewho was in the parking lot saw a
black male with a red Canadagoose getting jumped by three
(15:53):
Latin-looking persons or Latinos, I don't know how you put it
together.
After the event, I was living ata friend's house and did not
know the cops was looking for meuntil I got arrested.
It was pretty much straight outof a movie.
The person who ratted me out,which was a close friend of mine
(16:15):
, said that myself was going torob an armored vehicle with
motorcycles and assault riflesand Jeep Trackhawks and it was
like a scene out of a movie.
But all the charges would dropfrom a couple days later.
But initially they were alladded on top of all my previous
(16:39):
charges.
They denied my bail becausethey believed that I was a
flight risk because I was goingto school four months ago in
Florida.
Now, without doing any type ofverification, without calling
(17:00):
the border, this was theirconclusion.
The border, this was theirconclusion.
They have decided that me,jonathan, who at the time was 21
, I don't have a criminal recordas an adult, first time being
arrested I'm denied bail becauseI'm a flight risk that might go
(17:23):
to United States of America andrun from the law.
And if you guys remember fromme talking a couple minutes ago,
I just mentioned that I gotdenied entry in United States
because I didn't have a visa.
Therefore, it was impossible.
(17:43):
I didn't have a visa.
Therefore, it was impossible,literally impossible, for me to
cross the border from Canada tothe US.
Yet this was the main groundthe.
(18:09):
Can you just imagine for asecond, a kid who decided to
change his life, go playfootball, gets himself in a
self-defense conflict betweentwo parties.
He say.
She say I have to spend 17months in the worst possible
(18:37):
place that mankind has createdto put mankind.
I was there.
The reason why it was so toughwas because I actually had no
clue when I was going to bereleased from prison.
They didn't give me a date, Ididn't have a sentence until 15
(19:04):
months in.
So for 15 months I'mincarcerated in the system with
the worst possible criminal ofmy city because I defended
myself, because they think I'mflight risk.
So during those 17 months I hadso many challenges.
(19:27):
Not knowing when you're gettingout of jail is defeating.
It's defeating because you areput in a cage where they would
not even put a dog yet becauseyou have breaking one of the
(19:50):
millions of rules that we havecreated for you to make your
life harder.
We will put you in a cage withthe baddest and the worst dogs
there is in society.
And when you get out of there,if you get out of there, if you
get out of there, of course wewant you to reform yourself.
(20:13):
We want you to be better thanwhen you got in.
Please make it make sense.
Not only I was put in themaximum unit with people that
were there for murder, attemptmurder, kidnapping the most
violent crimes.
That wasn't the unit I was in,but there as a kid among grown
(20:37):
men, and it didn't take long forme to make my mark.
It took about, I think, a week.
I fought the biggest andbaddest mother ever in the unit.
In the unit and it was oversomething very dumb.
(21:01):
You know, it's a lesson that Iwas taught very early in my time
incarcerated that violence winsperiod.
Whoever's the most violent willmost likely be in a position of
leadership, because in prison,as much as they showcase,
there's guards, there's walls,there's nurses.
(21:22):
You know there's a warden.
There actually is no structure.
They put you in a cage, theyclose the cage and they say
here's food, give us the foodback, here's more food, give us
the food back.
It's time to sleep, it's timeto wake up.
Oh, we're just going to walkaround and make sure y'all still
(21:42):
alive, but that's about it.
Their job of these correctionalofficers is to make sure you're
alive, because as long as youare alive while incarcerated
they make all this money.
But we're going to get intothat, you know, a bit later.
(22:04):
Now some of the toughest thingsI had to deal with, like I said,
was I had a fight.
I had a fight with you know big, strong, tall Russian guy who
woke up every morning.
He ran around the range and itwas really my fault.
I decided to smoke somecannabis and it was very strong
(22:32):
and I lost my headphones.
After I lost my headphones, Istarted accusing people of
taking my shit and I toldsomeone that my headphones are
gone.
I'm just going to take whoeverelse's headphone I did.
I took someone's headphonesfrom their table and just was
(22:57):
like, yeah, that's mine now andif somebody got a problem about
it they could say somethingabout it.
At that time, when I made thatdecision, I had not personally
experienced any type of violencein jail.
Like why is everyone so quiet?
Why is everyone so chill here?
Like you know what I mean.
Like they make jail seem likeit's so dangerous and you know
(23:21):
if you drop the soap you mightget in trouble and you know
people are getting stabbed everyday.
Well, I sure found out that day.
Whoever's headphones I took, hisfriend said this black guy over
there took it.
And I responded with oh, so youwere a snitch, huh.
He said oh, I'm a snitch.
Okay, let me talk to you in thecell real quick and I'm just
(23:43):
like, well, shit, all right,what's so interesting that this
guy is going to tell me that heneeds to be?
You know, one-on-one with me inthe cell.
You know I was very naive thatday I got into the cell, you
know.
But I was very naive that day.
I got into the cell and yousaid you called me a snitch.
(24:08):
I'm like, yes, I did.
And he headbutted me so hardthat I literally snapped out of
myself and became somebody elseand I responded with so many
punches and elbows and knees hehad to tell me stop.
He said like literally stop,stop, like stop, I'm good.
He was very bloody.
There's blood all over my cell.
(24:29):
And as I'm getting out of mycell and as I'm getting out of
my cell because we're in my cellI see about four faces stacked
in the glass door of my cell.
Basically higher ups in therange were looking at the fight
(24:50):
to see how I was going to holdup.
The next day they made mepresident of all immigrants
Black, yellow, green.
If you're not white, youbasically are under my authority
.
That day I understood thestructure of jail.
I didn't get it until that day.
So I understood there was astructure.
(25:13):
I understood there was astructure among inmates.
I understood that there was acommittee and most units there's
a committee, there's apresident, there's a vice
president.
Their job is to make sure thatinmates don't do riots, make
alcohol because alcohol makespeople violent Found that out
(25:39):
real quick in jail and that welive somewhat in peace and
coexist somewhat with some formof peace with the correctional
officers.
That's mainly it.
Everything else is, in myopinion, is extracurriculum.
So as a president you do have afew duties, but it's mainly the
(26:01):
trafficking and the violenceand the fights and all the stuff
happening that you pretty muchhave to oversee.
Make sure that it stayscontrolled, but that's mainly
the job of the president, butthat's mainly the job of the
president.
From there on my journey,changed from.
You know time sucks.
I'm not doing anything to I'mwaking up and you know I got
(26:24):
meetings.
I have to meet with mycommittee.
I have to make sure everythingruns smooth.
I have to make sure that ifthere's any type of trafficking
happening in the unit, well, thetraffic is shared fairly
between the ethnicities.
So if the whites have drugs,well, they need to give the
blacks drugs so we don't robthem and vice versa.
(26:50):
I've learned a lot of thoserules that they don't talk about
, you know, on the news about,you know in movies.
They make it seem like jail isjust this dangerous hellhole
where you go there you're dead,you're getting stabbed, you're
going to drop the soap and so on.
(27:10):
So that was kind of the mainchallenges was not knowing what
I was going to get out.
Having to deal with all thestuff I had to deal with.
You know, from being apresident wanting freedom.
Wanting freedom was just soimportant to me at that point
that everything else didn'tmatter.
How did I keep my sanity injail was fairly simple, but it
(27:37):
had a lot to do withsocialization.
I realized a lot that over time.
One of the cons of beingincarcerated because there are
pros about being incarceratedfrom learning life lesson,
boundaries, rules, respect,authority One of the cons was
(28:00):
that you could be transferredany day of the week, but also
they can add anyone to your unitany day of the week.
You're also isolated and youdon't get to see, you know or
have any type of relationshipbecause you know incarcerated
right.
It's very tough on yourrelationships outside.
(28:23):
It's very tough on your family.
If you're someone who's veryclose with your parents, it's
very tough on your partner.
If you're in a relationship youknow I have a girlfriend, wife,
kids it's very tough on thekids.
That's the hardest part ofbeing in prison.
Everything else can be managedBecause leave humans for a
(28:46):
certain period of time in acertain environment.
They're literally just going toadapt, get comfortable in that
bad environment.
Like I was saying, one of thefew ways that I kept my sanity
was working out.
I worked out almost every day,if not twice a day, to the point
where they would call me thefootball player.
That was my nickname.
(29:06):
In jail I made footballprograms.
I made sorry, not footballprograms, but I made gym
programs for inmates.
I made gym programs for inmatesI made gym programs for for
some of the ceos.
Because I spent that much timein the gym and because everybody
called me the football player,my charges were related to
(29:29):
self-defense.
The ceos didn't really look atme as the guy who robbed the
bank, I mean, or the guy whocommitted the bank you know what
I mean or the guy who committedmurder.
It was more like man.
This kid defended himself.
The law sucks, but he's hereand you know.
If we need anything from theworld of fitness, we can ask
(29:51):
them, which they did, and I, youknow, respected that entirely.
I also spent a lot of timereading.
I had a lot of books onbehavior psychology anything
from Robert Greene from 48 Lawsof Power, the Art of Seduction
and I spent a lot of time on thephone.
I spent some days, three hours,four hours on the phone.
(30:14):
I believe that's what kept mesane as my body was in jail.
My brain was outside, I wasable to communicate with my
friends, I was able to be onsocial media All that through
the phone, of course.
Keep people updated and keepmyself updated of what's going
(30:37):
on in the outside world.
A lot of people don't realizeit.
It's very easy to be isolatedfrom the world while being
incarcerated.
You get the news through thephone, through newspaper or
through TV.
If all of these three thingsare disconnected or are not
working, or the jail is onshutdown, for whatever reason,
(31:00):
you are literally disconnectedfrom the world.
You have no clue what's goingon.
That was very tough, becausethey only allow certain books in
a unit.
They only allow certain booksIn a unit.
You know, let's say I'm someonewho likes to spend time on the
(31:22):
phone.
There might be five phones, sixphones for 60 inmates, 65
inmates.
In the unit that had the mostphone, or I believe they had 10
phones, there was 195 inmates.
So sometimes calling was likevery difficult.
(31:45):
It was very difficult to be ableto get an opportunity to be
able to be on the phone withyour loved ones, and it was the
way for me to keep my sanity wasthrough the phone, a million
percent, because I could be onthe phone, listen to music,
listen to the news, listen to avideo, listen.
(32:07):
I could listen to a whole moviewhile on the phone.
Just tell my friend, bro, justplay me this movie that just
came out, right.
So I want to say thank you toBrandon.
By the way, I want to give himhis flowers.
Hopefully it goes public verysoon Because he was the person
(32:30):
that I was on the phone withevery day when I was
incarcerated.
He would call people for me.
He would stay on the phone with.
Every day I was incarcerated,he would call people for me.
He would stay on the phone forme, and sometimes it would be
like five hours, six hoursstraight.
He would stay on the phone and,yeah, thank you, brandon Gage,
(32:56):
thank you.
Jail had pros.
It was not all bad days besidesthe fact that it was mostly bad
days but there was a certainbrotherhood that was built from
being around certain inmates.
I got transferred at some pointin a range that was Hells
Angels affiliated and it'salmost like I went from the
(33:22):
jungle to the corporate worldovernight, because I went from
an environment where violence isking.
Somebody tries you, you gottarun a fade, you gotta throw
hands.
It's an environment where guysdon't fight, guys don't even
(33:43):
yell at each other, guys don'tinsult each other.
Guys are just so laid back.
They just wanna work out, talkto their wives and that's it.
Do their time.
I've learned a lot about beingaround older men who have been
in the organized crime life forlong periods of time.
(34:05):
I've learned so much aboutbeing around these guys, from
decisions to make friends, topick positions to put yourself
in and sacrifices to make.
Because some of these guys, youknow I did time.
You know, when I was in thatrange, I believe I had some
mobsters with me.
I started training this mobsterwho was my roommate.
(34:29):
I made him lose around 35, 40pounds and you know he was
explaining to me a lot about.
You know the life, the mob life,and how it's just such a
brotherhood that is so tight,it's a family that is so tight
for the past 50, 60, 70 yearsthat it is very tough to be a
(34:51):
regular shmegular guy and notwant to participate or be part
of something that is so bigright.
It's like having this badge onyou saying like bro, I'm a
mobster.
You know what I had to do to bea mobster?
I make one phone call and yourday is horrible, your day is
done.
I understood the pride behindthat.
(35:13):
I understood the pride behindthat and it was sad for me to
see how organized, howsuccessful the mobsters and the
bikers were when my people areshooting at each other, fighting
each other over the smallestthings, over the dumbest things.
(35:39):
Right, I grew up in aneighborhood that had Crips and
Bloods.
Well, when I was 15, I made myown gang with Crips and Bloods
because I didn't understand whyour own people would fight each
other over a color.
To me, it just didn't makesense.
You're telling me that I'mgoing to kill my own cousin
(36:06):
because he's wearing blue today.
It just didn't make sense to me, right?
So that followed me throughoutmy life and throughout you know
jail and incarceration, where itwas very easy for me to be
around such organized leaders inyou know, the organized crime
(36:30):
industry, because I'm not a guywho talks a lot.
I like to learn, I'm veryrespectful.
Like I said, I know my position.
I knew that at the time I wasthe athlete in the range or the
unit, I was the guy who workedout, you know.
So I would work out with theguys, you know I would start
helping them, you know, gettheir body slowly back to normal
(36:51):
, right.
And I made some contacts, madesome friends.
I was you friends.
It was a great experience forthat sense, because if it wasn't
for prison, I would not meetthese kind of people, you would
not have these kinds ofconversations because they don't
have to, they don't have tomingle with a guy like me, they
(37:15):
don't have to talk to a guy likeme because their organization
is just so set in stone, it'sjust so successful.
Everyone has their position,everyone respects their position
, everybody respects theauthority.
No one is challenging theirsuperiors, no one is challenging
the system, their superiors, noone is challenging the system.
(37:37):
And that to me, you know,coming from a background of
football player.
I was just so amazed by thatbecause you know us black folks,
(38:01):
you know where I came from.
We did not know suchorganization.
It was like a myth, almost so.
Finally, you know, after 17months of being incarcerated,
I'm found guilty, after, youknow, spending a lot of time in
trial after having a detectivetrying to intimidate my witness,
which I don't know if that wasnormal, but it definitely
happened I spent two monthssentence before three Supreme
(38:24):
Court judges decided to suspendmy sentence.
Once they suspended my sentence, I got released from prison
immediately and I was done withthe province.
I was done with the city.
A few other situations happenedafterwards that made me just
(38:44):
want to leave the citycompletely.
How did I leave the city andwhere did I go?
Well, everything changed for mewhen one day, I get a video
call on Snapchat.
Shout out to Snapchat.
I get a video call from one ofmy buddies and you know, when
(39:11):
you're picking up the phone fromone of your friends, you're
like bro, what's up?
Like you know, foolish, right.
You're picking up the phonefrom one of your friends.
You're like bro, what's up?
Like you know, foolish, right?
Like not picking up the phone.
Like you're talking to yourboss.
Well, the head coach of theSaskatchewan Rough Riders, which
is a professional football teamin the Canadian Football League
, asked about me.
(39:31):
Ask about me because one of hisrecruiters saw me playing
football in West Palm Beach ayear and a half ago, two years
ago.
He asked about me and askedwhere was I now?
And somehow one of the playerson the team was like well, I
(39:53):
know this guy.
One of the players on the teamwas like well, I know this guy.
He was playing in Florida andbrought me and four of my other
teammates to come play footballwith him in Florida.
And the coach asked him if hehad any ways to reach me.
He said yeah, I have a Snapchat.
Well, I'll tell you this.
Chris Jones, the head coach ofthe Saskatchewan Warfighters,
(40:15):
who is now believed theassistant defensive coordinator
with Bill Belichick, who was thehead coach of the Patriots and
some college team in the US.
Now Coach Jones decided that hewas not going to call me in no
traditional phone call and sendme no emails.
(40:37):
He was going to call me onSnapchat and let me know what's
up right away, ask me if I washealthy, ask me if I still
wanted to play football and Ijust said yes, yes, yes to all
the questions.
It was a lie.
I was not healthy, but I wantedto play football.
I knew that.
I just haven't played footballin so long.
(41:00):
Right, I've just been.
You know workouts in jail, butnot really football workouts.
There's no grass in jail, it'sgravel and metal everywhere.
Now they flew me out toSaskatchewan about two weeks
later.
I'm thinking that you know,I've just made the team somehow.
(41:24):
I had no clue at the time how aprofessional organization works
in the world of sports works inthe world of sports.
My first day I get there, theygive me a place to stay.
I'm like this is great.
(41:46):
They tell me where the stadiumis.
They give me a locker, like man, this is amazing.
I had no clue that that exactday that I arrived I would have
to actually play football.
I'm not going to lie to you, Ihad no clue.
(42:07):
Well, that day they made me doone-on-ones as a receiver and a
running back against DBs thatwere playing on the team, that
are trying to make the team,that have been playing on the
team in the NFL, that wereplaying, maybe, in the NFL prior
.
Now they're playing here,college players, current CFL
(42:31):
players.
I had to compete against all ofthat in one day and somehow I
dominated.
I remember I totally dominatedthat day.
It's not that I had nothingelse to give, but it was more
like I have everything to prove.
(42:51):
There's nothing else to me butthis.
I have everything to prove.
There's nothing else to me butthis.
This is where I am.
I'm a football player.
So the next day made me realizethe difference between a
professional athlete and just aregular person.
I was exhausted, I was tired,my body could not move, as the
(43:14):
first day and I pulled myhamstring.
Pulled my hamstring on thesecond day.
I was out for three months andthe coaches told me we're going
to give you a place to stay.
You're going to have to getyourself ready for the season
(43:37):
Start in September, maybeOctober, I believe at the time
the season starts in August.
You're going to get a place tostay, but you're going to have
to feed yourself.
You're going to have to getyourself to practice and you're
going to have to get yourself topractice and you're going to
have to work on this, this legof yours and this hamstring that
(44:01):
you pulled.
Challenge accepted, I can tellyou guys, this was one of the
toughest time of my life.
Let me tell y'all why it was sotough was one of the toughest
times of my life.
Let me tell y'all why it was sotough.
(44:22):
It was tough because, to theworld, I became a professional
athlete.
I'm on social media right, Ihave my own locker, I'm with the
players, I'm at the stadium.
I had access to all theseresources.
But financially it was astruggle and I tried my best to
(44:44):
change my financial situation byapplying to so many jobs but
due to still being in court ofappeal, I still had aggravated
assault attached to my name.
So when the jobs did interviews, they can see that I have a
criminal record and that I'm acriminal on paper.
Now, because I'm a criminal onpaper, it don't matter if I'm a
(45:12):
professional football player.
You can't hire a criminal towork for us.
So guess what?
I never got a job.
During the off season I wasliving off of my mother sending
me $75, $50 to $75 a week forfood, and I was living off my
(45:43):
partner at the time.
You know she was helping mefrom going to practice, going to
stadium, going to wherever Ineeded to be, and I want to say,
shout out to my partner at thattime and my mom.
So I had to budget myself oneating lots of ground beef, lots
(46:07):
of pastas, lots of eggs everyweek, every week Until I made
the team.
So my journey to the league.
(46:28):
Nobody actually knows it,nobody actually understand the
struggle it took me to make itto training camp.
Not only I didn't have enoughmoney to actually fully fuel
myself, I didn't have a car, Ididn't have the finances to own
(46:51):
my own place, and there was onlyso many football players that
played on the team that actuallylived in Regina, the city that
I was in.
And those players that lived inRegina, those professional
athletes that lived in the city.
They had their own lives.
They have wives, they havehouses, they have cars, they got
(47:15):
their own gym, they got theirown sponsors.
Like, life is good for them.
They're not going to want tomingle with me.
Jonathan, who just got out ofprison, that's the last thing
they want to mingle with.
So most players didn't reallyhang out with me Because I had
(47:35):
the gel mentality.
It was like, yeah, we gotbrotherhood, but try me and I'll
fuck you up.
Disrespect me and we won'tsquabble.
Try me and I'll fuck you up.
Disrespect me and we'llsquabble Because, in jail, any
situation with another man, ifwe're not happy about how the
(47:57):
situation or the conflict ofwhere it's heading, the tone,
the aggressiveness, anythingrelated to that conflict, we're
going to go in a cell andsquabble up.
The only thing is I'm winningthat squabble every single time.
Am I proud of having all thesefights in jail?
No, but you don't have a choice.
(48:17):
It's either you get walked onor you have to walk on someone
else.
Now, was I a bully?
No, I never believe in bullying.
I always believe in brotherhoodand growth and team effort.
Bullies are people that havebig egos and they need to define
their egos with people that aresmaller than them by crushing
(48:39):
them, and they usually do it infront of others.
So the reaction of witnessesactually they feed off of that,
you know.
Now, going back to football, thebudget I had was insane.
Not only I had to go to myregular football practice at
(49:02):
least once a day, but I wouldalso go to a gym.
A gym decided to give me thekeys to their location and I was
allowed to go to the gymwhenever I want.
You know, past nine o'clock, Iwould go to the gym at two in
the morning, three in themorning, four in the morning, as
long as my partner was there totake me, or, you know, if maybe
(49:23):
I had a teammate around to takeme there and I had to be
consistent from going to dotrack and fields once a week,
going to do hydrotherapy torebuild strength in my lower
back, in my quads, in myhamstring, going to football
practice with all the big guys.
Well, guess what?
(49:43):
The coach decided to addanother challenge to it.
He tells me that because Ididn't play university or
college, he wants me to developmy body by playing on the junior
team as well.
I'm not taking too much of itbecause I just want to play
(50:08):
football.
It's all I have.
This is all I am.
I'm a football player.
This is who I am.
It was so hard to play for twoteams at the same time, two
different playbooks, twodifferent coaches, two different
coaching styles.
On the professional team, I'mplaying running back, but I'm
(50:29):
also playing defensive.
Back On the junior team, I amplaying running back, I am
playing returner, I'm playingthird string quarterback, I'm
playing receiver, and whereverthe coach felt like he could
just put me there because Iwould just say yes, I would not
(50:51):
put myself in a situation tomake my junior coach unhappy,
because I know that the juniorcoach and the head coach of the
professional team are buddiesand if a problem happens in one
field there's going to be aconsequence on the other field.
That's all I knew from playingon the junior team.
Now, after seven months, eightmonths of just grinding, finding
(51:20):
myself, putting the party lifeto the side, I was able to make
it to training camp, which was amonth long, two practice a day,
about two hours per practice,plus an hour of film every day,
(51:46):
mandatory ice tub and hot tubevery day.
I went from running back numberfive on the team to running
back number two by the secondweek because there was a lot of
injuries.
They dropped me back down torunning back number four, I
believe.
Injuries.
(52:09):
They dropped me back down torunning back number four, I
believe, after the training campwas done.
But it was very, very tough.
From working out every day Ihad to create my own structure
of healing myself From waking upearly, doing yoga, applying
magnesium oil on my muscles thatwere tight, rolling with the
(52:33):
foam roller.
I had a medicinal ball that Iwould use to move around my
joints and stuff To hydrationnutrition.
I was trying to eat as much aspossible during training camp
and just be very disciplined.
The hardest part for me wasdefinitely the playbook, because
I went from a high schoolplaybook to a professional
(52:56):
football playbook and everybodywho played high school, college,
nfl or CFL know that the momentyou switch to professional,
that playbook is thick.
There's an options for everyplay, there's an audible for
(53:17):
every play, there's a silentcount for every play and there's
a signal for every play in casethe stadium is too loud.
That was very tough.
That was definitely thetoughest part for me of playing
football was that.
Also, when I got my salary, myfirst check.
When I got my first check, itwas not what I was promised.
(53:42):
It was very low.
It was so low that I wouldn'tbe able to afford me a place to
live, even if I was to save thatmoney and I didn't have enough
money to have a vehicle or fullyfeed myself like I should eat
as a professional athleteplaying at a higher level.
(54:06):
That's how low my salary was.
I almost thought about quittingthe team the second day after I
got paid because I was so upset.
I was so upset that I've beentraining hard for eight, nine
months here budgeting.
(54:27):
I've been training hard foreight, nine months here
budgeting, sacrificing no life,not going out to being lied to.
And it's not that I was lied to, it's I was not told the truth
about the budget and theposition that I was in.
They decided to hire me as apractice roster player.
(54:48):
There was a certain budgetrelated to that.
You know, I was just notinformed and I would have loved
to be informed and kind of bementally prepared.
But you know, the salary cut.
That was definitely the toughesttime of playing on the team was
.
I'm here, I'm working four orfive times harder than everybody
(55:10):
else, yet my salary is notenough for me to go out and have
steak with my partner, or Ican't take out my linemen's or
my o-lines to eat.
You know, be like you know,guys, bro, it's been a crazy
week.
I had a great game last week.
(55:30):
Bro, let me treat y'all tosomething, because y'all play a
position that it's all aboutgiving back to the next man next
to you.
I couldn't do that.
So that was very tough for mefinancially.
You know, as much as I love thebrotherhood, as much as I love
the experience I've had playingon that team.
(55:51):
I believe that year we got abrand new $350 million stadium.
It was an absolutelyelectrifying experience,
experience Playing in the field.
You know the signing day withthe fans.
It was just.
It's just so unreal Because thefans in Saskatchewan love the
(56:17):
players so much and it's like acommunity sport where once
there's a game or once there'san event related to the
Saskatchewan Rough Riders, thecity will show up.
So one thing's for sureSaskatchewan Rough Riders has
some of the best fans in all ofsports period.
(56:48):
Things I would have loved toimprove my time as a football
player was just having more of asocial life, making friends,
learning more about players andtheir stories.
I've played with great players.
I've played with players that Isee play on tv, such as vince
(57:12):
young.
I remember that year when I wasplaying, vince young tried to
do a comeback.
It was, you know, like oh mygod, dude.
I used to play with you onmadden.
I used to play with you on n.
You're right next to me.
That was very unreal or surreal, but yet you know when it was
time to play.
(57:32):
You know like, he's myquarterback.
He's third string or fourthstring.
I'm fourth string, so I'velearned to separate the business
from friendship.
But me, compared to all theseother players there, I was not
social media guy, I wasn'tverified on social media, my
(57:52):
name did not ring any bells, butI just came out of jail.
That alone should have given methe respect that I deserved.
But you're not in anenvironment where people just
give you respect, in anenvironment where you have to
earn it right, they don't careif you were, you know, big
college superstar.
You're around.
(58:13):
You're around grown ass men andyou need to act accordingly.
You need to train as hard as us, if not harder.
You need to compete with us, ifnot more, and you need to bring
something to the table that isnot just sport related.
You know you have to dosomething for us, especially if
(58:33):
you're a rookie.
Make our life easier, right, aswe accept you in our unit.
So I've learned a lot of greatthings from playing around these
men.
Some of these guys are, you know, my friends for life and you
know it was an overall.
(58:55):
It was an overall experiencethat I would go through again,
but I would document it.
It's an experience that I wouldgo through again, just because
it felt like I had a purpose inlife.
(59:15):
It felt like as I left jail andI had no clue what I was going
to do for myself, I got adirection.
I had no clue what I was goingto do for myself.
(59:44):
I got a direction.
That direction was football.
Therefore, I started working inthe field of psychology with
psychologists doing coursedetection is we, as people, need
to have goals, we need to haveobjectives, we need to have a
path, we need to have a path.
(01:00:15):
What this experience has broughtto me is that, even in the
worst possible place that youcould imagine you are right now,
which is either jail or worsethan jail, you're in the hole.
In jail, there is anopportunity for you to put all
the stuff you've lived, combineit and create some form of
success with it.
Now that success might not looklike what you've envisioned.
(01:00:40):
You might not become thatrapper, that career of
professional athlete might notbe what's waiting for you
outside of these bars, but yourlife is not over To go from
(01:01:01):
being in the hole, you know,with rats and mices, on a cold
bunk bed, with a camera lookingat me 24 hours a day, while also
being 23 hours in my cell andhaving only one hour to either
take a shower or call my lovedones.
I went from that to beingplaying in a $350 million
(01:01:25):
stadium, you know, six monthslater, with people asking for
autographs people knew my name,people were giving me free stuff
.
People want to touch me becauseI play on this team, you know,
and of course we're talking.
You know, hugs and stuff Feltunreal.
(01:01:46):
It felt like, after all thispain I just experienced from
being incarcerated, not knowingwhen I'm coming out, and the
multitude of injustice that Ihave faced myself from the
Canadian justice system orAmerican justice system, to be
honest, it felt like God gave meanother purpose, god gave me a
(01:02:13):
new path, but when I was in jailI didn't see that.
I didn't believe it Because Ican't see past the bars, I can't
see past the barbed wire.
So I want you to know, youlistener, who is still here
(01:02:35):
right now.
I want to say thank you, thankyou for taking the time out of
your day, out of your night, outof your life, to immerse
yourself in a glimpse of my life, and I hope that you're in
(01:03:15):
right now.
There is more for you toaccomplish in this world.
In this world, you think yourlife is over because they've
sent you to jail for 20 years,25 years.
No, sir, your life is not over.
(01:03:37):
You can use your years of jailprior to jail the reason why you
got incarcerated to create amemoir for people that live the
life that you live to know thatthis is not it.
This is not the life they wantto live.
(01:03:58):
But it only took you 10 or 15years of being incarcerated for
you to switch that switch and belike this, is not it?
15 years of being incarceratedfor you to switch that switch
and be like this is not it.
I can't believe I have absorbedall this information that told
me violence was the way out, thegangster life was the way of
(01:04:24):
success.
Selling drugs is going to getme that million dollars.
It's wrong.
It's completely wrong.
The universe, god, has createda path for everyone on this
earth, but it is your job tohave the will to accept that
(01:04:46):
path and then fulfill it, and itmight not be what you hoped it
to be.
Someone out there in this worldis cutting grass.
(01:05:06):
They became a millionaire offof cutting grass.
You really think they woke upwhen they were 10 years old and
told the world I'm going to cutgrass and become a
multi-millionaire cutting grass?
No, but guess what?
Now they're multi-millionaire.
Now they have an llc.
Now they're making millions ofdollars in revenue every year.
(01:05:27):
Now they can hire people andgive those people opportunities.
Because, you see, one thingI've learned about being in a
position of power or having abusiness is that I am not just a
user anymore, I'm not just aconsumer anymore.
(01:05:48):
I'm an employer.
I'm giving opportunities backto people to feed their families
, create a lifestyle, reachtheir goal and get them closer
to their path.
And get them closer to theirpath.
(01:06:10):
So I believe that the universehas put me here on this earth to
share my experiences, to sharewhat I have been through.
So if you guys are lost or ifyou guys are in a dark tunnel, I
(01:06:32):
really hope that you canutilize me, my information, my
life, to put a tiny, tiny, tinylight in that tunnel, so at
least you know in what directionyou're going.
That is going to be my purposein life.
I want to say thank you again,like I said, to everyone who
(01:06:56):
tuned in today.
This is my third or fourth timerecording this episode.
I initially recorded it about ayear and a half ago.
(01:07:27):
A lot of things have happenedduring that time, going much
time listening to me, a personthey have never met, to give
them inspiration to become thebest version of themselves.
Stay tuned for the nextepisodes.
We're going to go over closeprotection.
We're going to go overpsychology.
(01:07:49):
We're going to go over acombination of all those things
and how we can utilize myexperiences in life to make you
better.
On that note, have a good restof your night and stay safe.
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