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July 18, 2025 48 mins

We often hear about the "fight - flight" response, that instinctive reaction to a fear-inducing situation. In fact, you've likely witnessed or responded to an actual or perceived threat with protective aggression or a fearful escape. Yet two other hardwired responses--freezing and fawning--are also part of our instinctual repertoire. And while such responses are intended to keep us safe and alive when in danger, they can actually hamper self-esteem, self-worth, and interpersonal relationships when they become our default. Today, we'll take a look at how an overactive fawn response--that tendency to appease and please--can make you lose your identity as you sacrifice yourself--your core identity--to make others happy and keep the peace. Join Dr. Carla Manly and renowned psychologist and trauma expert Dr. Ingrid Clayton for an empowering journey into healing from fawning--and reclaiming your voice and your life.

 

Topics discussed include fawning, appeasing, fight-flight response, trauma, relational trauma, complex trauma, abuse, domestic violence, gaslighting, self-gaslighting, intergenerational trauma, intergenerational patterns, support groups, people-pleasing, self-compassion, healthy love, external validation, support groups, boundaries, healthy boundaries, flexible boundaries, healthy relationships, self-love, and self-growth.

 

Please note that this episode contains sensitive material; listener discretion is advised. Emergency Assistance Note: If you or someone you know needs immediate support, please call your emergency services. In the US, 24/7 help is available by calling "911," "988" (Suicide and Crisis Hotline), or SAMSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). Support/informational links are in the show notes.


Books by Dr. Carla Manly:

Joy from Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Fear-Carla-Marie-Manly/dp/1641701218 

Date Smart: https://www.amazon.com/Date-Smart-Transform-Relationships-Fearlessly/dp/1641704675

Aging Joyfully: https://www.amazon.com/Aging-Joyfully-Optimal-Relationships-Fulfillment/dp/1641701412 

The Joy of Imperfect Love: https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Imperfect-Love-Creating-Relationships/dp/1641709057 


Oracle decks by Dr. Carla Manly:

Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1757477615/imperfect-love-reflection-oracle-cards 

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Imperfect-Love-Reflection-Oracle-Cards/dp/B0


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