Navigating Holidays, Relationships, and Laughter Amidst COVID-19

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*Lost Episode*

What happens when holiday plans are thwarted by the unexpected twists of COVID-19? Gather around as we share our own tales of canceled festivities and the comedy that ensues when rapid tests keep us on our toes. This episode kicks off the new year with laughter and a sense of optimism as we navigate through the ongoing pandemic. With personal anecdotes about playful jealousy and work dynamics, we embrace the reality of COVID-19’s transition to an endemic situation, inviting you to join us in setting a hopeful tone for what lies ahead.

Gift-giving during the holidays can be a hilarious minefield, especially within family dynamics. We debate the curious art of categorizing gift recipients and whether luxury cars or everyday vehicles make better presents. Our conversation doesn't shy away from the complexities of gift-giving with ex-partners. From ensuring the child gets involved in the process to managing boundaries in co-parenting relationships, we explore how to navigate these tricky waters while keeping the peace and respect intact.

Love, relationships, and everything in between—how do we recognize red flags and embrace personal growth? With a blend of humor and introspection, we tackle the importance of honesty and self-awareness when moving on from past relationships. Then, we venture into the colorful world of sexual preferences and preferences, exploring everything from sensual satisfaction to unconventional practices. Through these candid discussions, we encourage listeners to reflect on their own relationship dynamics and approach to intimacy, all while keeping the conversation light-hearted yet insightful.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
right at work and he was like well, how many boys
work with you?
I said I have like all cashiers, all girls and like one man.
And he was like he sure did.
He said I'm going to use myfather's car and come over to
your job and see what you'redoing.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
I said that was why they didn't do it.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
He's jelly, I like that he's got a little jelly
side to him ownership of hisstuff.

Speaker 5 (00:21):
He's like you belong to me.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
He showed a gif of somebody cocking a gun and
pointing it at somebody, I waslike, oh you crazy.

Speaker 5 (00:30):
And he starts laughing.
You like what I like?
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
As you can see, we back Imperfect Scenarios 2022.
What up, what up?
We're back, we're back.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
What's poppin' people .
What's poppin' hey?

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah, yeah, 2022, a new year, new beginnings, new
everything 2022.
Well, we certainly missedrecording.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
We missed our audience.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
I missed y'all.
We missed you guys too.

Speaker 4 (00:59):
I missed y'all so much.

Speaker 5 (01:01):
We missed you too.
Boo, we're back, we're boo.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
We're back, we're back, we're back.
I guess we should reintroduceourselves.
I guess I am Tyson, aka PerfectScenario.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
Ness aka J Boogie.

Speaker 5 (01:20):
D Weezy, aka Peaches.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
And I'm Flyboy.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
G-Mac, g-money.
All right, here we go, here wego.
So it's a new year, a newbeginning.
Hopefully we can be moreconsistent with our recordings
and see if we can get thingspopping.
A lot of things have changedNew beginnings, new
relationships, relationships,new everything, new lies.
Everybody you know look like,look like actually you guys look

(01:49):
like you fit.
Some people lost weight maybe,I guess I'm assuming he must be
looking over there at G-Moneylet's do everything.
New resolutions, peloton.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
Peloton, I'll do that too.

Speaker 4 (02:01):
Peloton that's the new thing yeah, peloton that's
for rich people.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, I'm not, I'm not messing with that are you
there like cycling with yourscreen.

Speaker 4 (02:09):
What?

Speaker 3 (02:10):
is that how that works?
Look at my instagram.
Look at my instagram, you willsee I'm actually gonna go look
right now you know, actually Ididn't put that picture up so
it's 2022.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
we just came, came off the holidays.
Of course we got Christmas.
How was your guys' holidays?
How was everybody's holidays?
Anybody do anything special?
No, no.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
I had to cancel my plans.
We were all sick over here.
Covid, covid, oh, yes, well wetested negative for COVID, but I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
I feel like it was lingering.
I don't know.
I feel like it was lingering.
Well, did you do the rapid?
Because the rapids are comingback.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
I did both Rapid and PCR and they were negative.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
But you know what it is.
A lot of people forget that westill get other things out there
Of course there's flu andeverything like that.
True, and I think that's a lotof things.
Every time somebody startscoughing and sneezing, they'd be
like, ah, you got covid, butyou forget that the world, that
everything else ain't changed,like it's still things out there
.
Would anybody anybody get covidover the week?

(03:10):
If you want to share did youget?

Speaker 1 (03:11):
did you get covid?

Speaker 2 (03:12):
I got covid no which one you get.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
You get that.
You got what they call it themarion or the omicron.
They didn't tell me, so theydidn't tell me, I didn't care.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
But wait, when you test positive, they don't tell
you which one it is no, itdoesn't.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
I was looking at my results and it didn't say it
didn't specify.

Speaker 5 (03:30):
I mean, do you care?
No, I don't think you care, Ijust like I actually do care
obviously I think it's like atalking topic.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
I want to be like, yeah, I had I had the Omarion
like you want to say that.

Speaker 4 (03:43):
Don't you want to?

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I know it's Omicron but I'm just saying I want to
say like I got this, I got theDelta, I got this.
You want to be able to pinpointit right.
You got COVID, that's it,that's it.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
Yeah, but Delta and Omarion are very, very, very
different.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
I might have had Omicron, Omarion, so again.

Speaker 4 (04:04):
I tested negative and I want to say like maybe six
months into the pandemic I wentand got that antibody test.
Now, I never got sick.
But my doctor was like listen,bitch, you got antibodies.

Speaker 5 (04:16):
And I was like oh, that's what happened to me too.
I was never sick In the verybeginning.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, but not everyone gets the symptoms.
That's it In the very beginning.
Yeah, but you don't.
Not everyone gets the symptoms.

Speaker 4 (04:24):
That's it.
I must have been asymptomatic.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
You were just a carrier.
That's pretty much it.
I was a carrier too, no, but Isit?

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Is it anything called Positive, false positive or
false negative?

Speaker 4 (04:36):
Yeah, both there are false.
There's both False positives.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Oh, really, I'm talking about and COVID.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
Yeah, yeah, especially with the rapid test.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
So my mother did the rapid, did one like every day
because she was exposed.
It came back negative.
So I finally made her take aPCR and it was positive.
So those rapids that she wastaking and she took different
ones, it wasn't like the sameones.
So those are giving her falsenegatives, false negatives.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Mm-hmm, wow, wow.
Honestly, I don't think thisthing going away, which I think?
Oh, of course not.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
No, I mean it's here to stay.
The flu has never gone away.
Exactly, the flu is here.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yeah.
Well, it's going from apandemic to an endemic right.
They call it an endemic.
So now it's just here.
It's not even going to becyclical.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
It's going to be throughout the summer, it's
probably going to be just ascommon as the cold.
Really, it's going to be likeanother form of the cold.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Okay, can I be transparent Sure.
No crying, though I like it.
I like it.
I don't want to say I like theCOVID, but it just brought me
all happiness.
I got more money because ofCOVID.
Everything has been happeninggood because of COVID, I mean.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
I guess I have ups and downs.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
I'm working from home .
Oh, I ain't doing that.
So I think it's been a blessing.
I mean it may be me.
How do you guys feel about?
Has it destroyed your life?
Has it changed your life?
I mean it changed everyone'slife.

Speaker 4 (05:59):
I think it's a change to everybody's life, I think I
mean everybody's been enclosedfor two years.
They've had a lot of ebbs andflows.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
That's a good way of putting it, yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
So what about?
So I think that it has changedbecause my daughter had a.
She was having her 18thbirthday, so that like destroyed
her birthday.
So I see like a lot of holidaysand you know things that we
celebrate For young people.

Speaker 5 (06:23):
I think it's terrible .

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah, you know, because there's a lot of missing
, like graduations.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (06:29):
You know, proms, birthdays.
For us it's different becausewe've had that glorious past
that we've experienced.
So we don't necessarily have tohave a birthday party every
year or, you know, have agraduation of some kind.
But for the young people whoare now just going through
things for the first time, Ithink it's particularly
difficult for them.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, yeah, because a lot of problems are canceled,
um a lot of I mean peopleprobably don't care, but um,
like a lot of uh, college thingsncaa has changed um a lot of
kids are supposed to berecruited or not being recruited
because, um like, for instance,my son, he's actually a junior
but because of COVID, as far asNCAA, he's listed as, like a

(07:11):
redshirt freshman still.

Speaker 5 (07:13):
It's messing up the eligibility for a lot of kids
that are coming in now, becauseif you have a star quarterback
or a star running back right,who's eligible now for another
year of play through NCAA rulesfor that incoming freshman
exactly because a lot of these,a lot of these seniors are not
leaving now because they got allthese eligibility.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
So you know, and you know, the NCAA um kind of like I
guess cancel, like, uh, theeligibility thing.
So it's a lot of people notleaving.
So a lot of schools don't haveno reason to go out recruit
because they, like, we still gotour original people.
Like we don't really have torecruit, we really don't want to
like we recruit you but we'renot going to pay you because we
got a whole team still herethat's not leaving.
So it's just.
I just I feel it has an impacton like yeah, I think it

(07:56):
actually impacted, um, our youthmore than it impacted us.
Yeah I mean it's, you know, likethe holidays is all screwed up,
like I still, to this day, Ihave not seen my family for the
holidays.
I still got gifts that I, youknow, it's actually a good thing
because I ain't got to spend nomoney, but I have not seen my
family for the holidays.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Why are you?

Speaker 2 (08:17):
so cheap, it's not cheap.
It's just you know what it is.
I have three levels, I gotthree levels, I got three levels
.
So what I do when Christmascomes?
Three levels.

Speaker 5 (08:25):
Are you sure you want to share?

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Yeah, I'm going to share.

Speaker 4 (08:27):
Okay, well, you're putting that out there Now.
Everyone will know.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
I don't care, my family will know.
Only I mean my brother's thereright there.

Speaker 4 (08:32):
Wait, and which levels is he on?

Speaker 2 (08:34):
He's on level two.
Oh shit, I shop for gifts formy household.
You know I have to get thegifts for the kids and you know
whatever.
So the second level is okay,that's my family outside of my
household, you know, and myclose friends.
So I have my, you know, myfamily outside of my household,

(08:55):
my friends, and you know I getall their gifts or whatever.
My third level is like whoeverelse left.

Speaker 4 (08:59):
Damn, I must be level 10.
What level am I Fuck?

Speaker 2 (09:04):
You're not on the level.
No, I'm joking.

Speaker 4 (09:09):
I haven't gotten a gift from Tyson.
You have the gift of friendship.
I must be level 10.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
You are my gift.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
No, no, you're right, I am your gift.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Honestly you guys are .
Everybody on this podcast is onlevel two, which is everybody,
People I care about.
That's outside of level one.
You guys, everybody on thispodcast is on level two, which
is everybody People I care about.
That's outside of level one.

Speaker 5 (09:27):
So when are we getting our gifts?
That's what I'm saying.
When are we getting them?
Are those?

Speaker 4 (09:30):
the gifts you didn't purchase yet.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, those are the gifts.
Also, let me tell you whatlevel two is.
Let me tell you what level twois.

Speaker 5 (09:37):
So level two is Swag.
Lee is not laughing, by the way.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Because his gift is actually sitting by my front
door, so you knew you were goingto see him today.

Speaker 4 (09:49):
That's correct.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
He's forgetful though .

Speaker 2 (09:52):
I am very forgetful.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
He's forgetful.
No, I'm really forgetful.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
No, he's healed man.

Speaker 5 (09:57):
Flyboy's about to let off.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
No, I do.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
So I don't want to tell the gift, but it's by my
front door.
So he's a level two.
So everybody outside the housegets a level two.
And then you got the levelthree, the people that's just,
you know, maybe associates andstuff like that, co-workers,
stuff like that.
That's level three, but wehaven't.
You really don't see nobodyLike who do you?

Speaker 3 (10:14):
see Like you know I mean because of more often I
don't mind the gift I'm not, youknow, I got you, I got you I
got you I'm waiting for mine.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
What do you?
What do you?

Speaker 5 (10:33):
well, since I'm not on the level.
I don't know what.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'm gonna get one, no , no honestly, level two is good
because that's everybodyoutside my household you said I
wasn't on level.
Oh, you're on level two, you'reon level you made level two.

Speaker 5 (10:43):
Level you made it level 2, you made it level 2.
So that's good, so that's good.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
So level 2 is good.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Because my mom's on level 2, my brother's on level 2
, like my sisters.
My brother, you know theythey're on level 2.
So good, you should be happy.
So we are family-ish.

Speaker 4 (10:54):
You family-ish, you outside.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
So you're the next paycheck, paycheck you're like,
if I do, I want to scratch offyou that you that person if I
sell enough coquito.
So so how was your?
How was your holidays?
So christmas, oh my gosh, soboring I had to.

Speaker 4 (11:19):
I had to cancel my christmas brunch.
Why?
Because I was sick.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
Oh shit, that's a good reason.
I don't think anybody wouldwant me coughing over their?

Speaker 2 (11:30):
food.
Anybody do any special on theholidays?
No, nothing at all.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Sat around the table and got COVID from my mother.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Christmas dinner the gift that keeps on giving.
I was just about to say thegift that keeps on giving.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
They're going to have to blame me.
Two years, two years y'all Twoyears of COVID man.
We done, we are done.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
If this thing mutated Into something crazy Like Omega
, alpha, alpha, omega, somethingcrazy, whatever they want to
name it.
I don't know If our system Can.

Speaker 5 (12:01):
That's Jesus Christ.
He's the only alpha in America.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
Well, yeah, beginning and the end, covid ain't got
nothing on him.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Well, not even, not even just COVID we gotta worry
about now.
We got the whole Russia, chinaand what is it North Korea thing
Popping off.
Yes, so that's gonna be Russia.
And, you know, this is just oneof those things when we
probably need To pay attentionEven to the market.
Yeah, even this is just one ofthose things where we probably
need to pay attention even tothe market.

Speaker 5 (12:25):
We want to pay attention to the market.
Wait time out, so I don't watchthe news.
What's happening over there?
So?

Speaker 3 (12:32):
you know Russia.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
China.

Speaker 5 (12:34):
I know where.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Russia is Russia China and North.
Korea are our natural I want tosay our natural enemies.

Speaker 5 (12:40):
So they're like getting together.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
They're running naval drills right now as we speak,
together.

Speaker 5 (12:46):
So our natural enemies Are running naval drills
together.
We're on time clock Is whatyou're saying.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
Basically, basically.

Speaker 5 (12:53):
That's why I don't watch the news, because, like
Bad news, depressing, correct Ilive in my own bubble.
So then when something pops off, it just comes.

Speaker 4 (13:00):
We already had a podcast About this.
Who was hooty hooing?
Oh yeah, you're right.
Okay, so time out.

Speaker 5 (13:08):
So who said that they wouldn't be Letting me be on
their team?

Speaker 3 (13:12):
For the COVID, these two.

Speaker 5 (13:16):
And.

Speaker 4 (13:16):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (13:17):
But I've, knock on wood, have not gotten the COVID
and I've survived and done verywell.
So do you want to like takethat back?

Speaker 4 (13:25):
No, no, let me tell you what I did today.
You don't want to take it back.
I'm proud of myself.
What you doing, okay, so youknow, when you have the light
bulb in the inside of the likeglass thing the cover, I
unscrewed the cover and changedthe light bulb by myself, oh
Jesus, by myself.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
What the hell I get to do with COVID.
That's an applause All.

Speaker 4 (13:44):
I'm saying is that I have survival skills.

Speaker 5 (13:46):
Oh shit and.

Speaker 4 (13:48):
I know who you can call.

Speaker 5 (13:49):
To do that next time that's working smarter, not
harder.
Who?
Who can I call?
Who can?

Speaker 4 (13:56):
I call.
Who can you call?

Speaker 5 (13:57):
General contractor.

Speaker 4 (13:58):
In the area, find you the information.
I am not paying A contractorfor this Angie's less Angie.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Oh, I find you the information.
I am not paying a contractorfor this Angie's less oh fuck
Angela.

Speaker 3 (14:07):
This is why neither one of you guys would make it in
an apocalypse, and that's whywe didn't choose that's not true
.

Speaker 4 (14:13):
I can use a screwdriver.
I have survival skills.

Speaker 5 (14:16):
Listen, I can also cook you a meal, so you can
survive.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
I made a charcuterie board of things.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
Very fancy, I totally give up.

Speaker 5 (14:30):
You want us on your team?
Stop playing.

Speaker 4 (14:33):
We're not bad assets.

Speaker 5 (14:35):
We got assets.
They're great.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
All right, so it's time for that topic.
Listen to this.
It's a good topic.
So what I'm asking is if you'rein a relationship or an ex
relationship, do you think it isappropriate to buy that person
a gift?
So, for instance, let's say youhave, so you are a male and you

(15:01):
just broke up with your babymama and you're in a whole new
relationship.
Do you think it's appropriatefor him to buy a gift?
That's the topic.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
If you're, if you ended on good terms, I mean sure
, sure, why not?
If there's kids involved, likeif they're still taking care of
your child, like why, why thefuck not?

Speaker 5 (15:20):
Well, it's, it's a representation.

Speaker 4 (15:30):
Like so, so you could say it's from the child, wait,
okay.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
So let's just say you do get one for the child and
you get one for yourself.
Fuck that.
Why explain?

Speaker 4 (15:33):
explain.
My answer is this if it's fromthe child, yes, and there's a
price limit on that why, it'sfine like because I feel that we
know your view.

Speaker 5 (15:43):
I feel that gifts.
We know your view why.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
Explain.

Speaker 4 (15:46):
I feel that gifts are thoughtful At least how I gift
give is thoughtful and so I feelthat you definitely take that
person into consideration andtheir likes, their dislikes,
what they're into.
I feel like a price limit fromthe child based on age is

(16:07):
appropriate, especially if thatperson is in a new relationship.
If they're single, then do you?

Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay, let's break this down a little bit.
I'm your current man.
You're my current man.

Speaker 4 (16:19):
I'm your current man you have?

Speaker 2 (16:20):
No, I have.
I have a baby man you have.
No, I have.
I have a baby mama.
So I have a child with anotherwoman.
I have respect for her.
You know I used to love her.
I mean, I still love her.
She's the mother of my child.
We don't have nothing, clearlynothing going on.
You know, I just want to, youknow, just show appreciation,

(16:43):
that listen.
You know you do a lot.
You take care of my daughterand I'm appreciative of that.
So I'm going to help mydaughter get you something and
I'm also going to get yousomething, nothing like you know
, not lingerie or nothing, butjust something like basic, like
maybe a purse or something or akeychain.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
Based on age.
I feel like it's appropriatebased on age, and you're doing
it in the name of the child.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
No no.

Speaker 5 (17:07):
Two separate child.
No, no, I have two separategifts.
Take the no, fuck that.
Why though I don't?
I disagree, I don't thinkthere's a problem with that.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
I don't think there's a problem, so we're gonna so
hold you.
I want to go back to the nest,though.
So what is the problem?
Because, especially if I askyou to help me pick it, I'll
pick out a nice year for my babymother.
Let me, you know it's christmasas your woman, yes y'all can
both go to hell as a woman.
Sometimes you buying the giftby yourself to send Like but if
you get your coworkers gifts,why can't you get?

(17:32):
Let your your, your, your newboo, get his ex girlfriend
something.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
I got my, I got my current man's ex A gift, so
what's the problem with him?

Speaker 2 (17:46):
giving.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
From the child.
I took the child shopping and Isaid get something for your
mother.
It was a card and chocolatekisses.
That's all you're getting fromme, bitch so.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
But so I thought I was pretty so you would get mad.
You would get mad if your boogot her something.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
A card and chocolate kisses.
I wouldn't get mad at that'swhat I'm saying.
It's the amount of money thatyou put into it.
It's the amount of effortyou're putting into this gift.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
What if he just like somewhere?
Let's just say he has money andhe's just somewhere.
He's like I'm just going to getinto this purse because I know
she likes Coach.
It's the amount of effort.
Maybe if he has money, thencoach might not be shit.
Then right, okay, so okay.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
But if you got her, a louis bag or a chanel bag.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
That might be something else so it has nothing
to do with the gift, it has todo with the effort he put behind
it.
Yeah, okay.
So I mean, I mean, so you, you,you kind of agree With this,
but you're just Saying it has alimit, right, okay, that's not
bad.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
So good, that sounds shallow, that sounds very
shallow, that's not shallow it,do, it do.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
But you know Well, fuck it, I'm shallow.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Then, this is no judgment zone, so I'm not going
to go.
So what, demetra?
What are you saying?

Speaker 5 (18:59):
I think If you're talking about children Right, if
you're talking about children,right, children are involved.
So, as I'm just going to speakon my own experiences as a
mother, your children arewatching what you do and the way
you act and the way you respondto things, right?
So I'm trying to be mature andshow my children the best way to

(19:20):
handle a situation.
Would I want to buy a gift forthat ex-person?
Not necessarily because, right,you know you have pettiness
about you sometimes.
It's not what you want to do,but it's a sign of respect and
it's a sign of that you'retrying to maintain a good

(19:40):
relationship for the sake ofyour children.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Right.

Speaker 5 (19:43):
So I would suggest to have a conversation with your
current significant other andsay listen, what are the limits
Like?
Is there a dollar amount thatwe are spending Right, cause
we're doing our Christmas budgetright?
How much do you want to spend?
And if they're like yo $2,000,you're like nah, hold up.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
We gotta have to take care of first.
But you know what?

Speaker 5 (20:05):
I mean.
But the point is, it's opencommunication, it's conversation
that you are going to have, buthave but surface.
Yes, you don't really want todo it just because it's the ex
and that whole thing, but it'ssomething.
I think that's important to doand at the end of the day it
doesn't mean anything.
You're extending the olive leafor olive branch, right, so that

(20:28):
way nobody can look at you andbe like, oh, she doesn't like me
or she went out of her way tobe mean to me or you know
whatever, like you're doing theright thing.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
I see, to me that makes sense, that makes total
sense to me.

Speaker 5 (20:43):
I've been in this situation plenty of times, like
my husband.
No, my husband has a daughter.
You know we are step mystepdaughter, who is older, and
for years I've been purchasinggifts and like it's at the point
now where I just buy the giftsand send it to her because you
know, do you put your name whenyou put the daughter's name?
No, we put all of our names.
Like we buy separate gifts,usually from.

(21:04):
Well, she's an adult now soit's different because she could
buy her own gifts.
But we put from from my husband, I and the kids like her, the
siblings, so you know it's agift from all of us.
She sends stuff to our housetoo, like you know.
It's a sign of respect.
But, um, you know, mydaughter's father is in a
relationship with you know,somebody new usually every year

(21:25):
and we send gifts to him.
I mean, you know, it's just I.
I just don't want my kids togrow up and say you were the
petty one.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
They need to learn a little petty, I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (21:37):
I mean they'll learn it, but just not.
We're trying to be copaceticfor the situation.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
I just you know what I think.
My thing is.
I believe in giving off energy.
So if I'm giving off a negativeenergy, then that means I'm
giving you more power than youprobably have.
So to me you'd be like okay, myex is not getting nothing, I
just gave you power.
Now I'm having some type offeeling about you and a mood and
you're changing that.

(22:01):
If I really truly believe thatyou're my ex and I don't want
anything to do with you, I cangive you a gift, and I just give
you a gift because it'sChristmas.
You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (22:10):
If there's kids involved.
If there's kids involved, ifyou're just giving it to an ex,
no, I don't know.
If there's no kids involved,then I won't do it.

Speaker 4 (22:19):
Some people do that Because a gift could be a box of
chocolates.

Speaker 5 (22:24):
No Right and a card.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
But even something more expensive than a chocolate,
even like anything, I think,card, even a card, but even
something more of a, moreexpensive than the chocolate,
even like anything, anythinglike if you set a budget, like
if you compromise and you speakabout it and it's a conversation
.

Speaker 5 (22:39):
Look, listen, we're not spending no, two thousand
dollars on a louis bag.
That's out right, because wegot other stuff we have to do in
our house first, right?
Whatever, according to theperson's budget, that you can
fit in, that's reasonable, thatyou guys agree on.
That's what you spend Up to, orwhatever.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Let's just say this particular person, let's just
say you and your husband, you'retrying to decide what you're
going to get his ex forChristmas.
And let's say your husband belike oh, you know what, I'm
going to get her a washingmachine, because she needs a
washing machine.
Would that be like a no-brainer?

Speaker 5 (23:11):
or that be one of these like if she needed a
washing machine, we wouldprobably buy it only because
she's family and she needs awashing machine to wash the kids
clothes you're not even like ifshe need.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (23:22):
Like just listen, just because I mean it's
different, I guess if you don'thave the money to buy a washing
machine, that's a differentsituation.
But if you're the mother to mystepdaughter, your family.
So if you need something, we'regonna try to help you to get it
right, like if that's you knowa situation.
If we can, it's in our means.

(23:42):
You know what I mean, but Imean so if she's like I need a
washing machine, okay, sheobviously needs a washing
machine, she needs help.
We're gonna have to try to seeif we can help her get a washing
machine.

Speaker 4 (23:54):
Give card to the laundromat Right.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
A roll of quarters oh you are petty as hell Super
petty Listen, I guess.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
I've had some different life experiences, so
I'm just going to let fly boy gonext.

Speaker 4 (24:12):
I'm just saying, like if the child like you said your
stepdaughter's grown like,there's no reason to be like.
She can wash her own clothes.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Right, I'm not going to get you in a washing machine
because your daughter grown,probably living out of the house
.
You ain't really taking care ofher anymore, so you're good.

Speaker 5 (24:22):
But it's like about if you have family, regardless
of whoever it is, and they askyou for help or they need help.
It's not about whatrelationship they are to you,
it's the fact can you help them?
That's where I'm coming from.
I see what your point is.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
So you consider your ex's Well, your husband's ex
Part of the family Only becausethey had a kid together, right,
I mean it makes sense.

Speaker 5 (24:48):
Just like my daughter's father is family.
If he came to me and he waslike I need something, you know
if I could help him, I wouldlike you know you took your
husband a cosign on that he haslike if you know, if you know my
daughter's, like you know, he'slike I need help with a plane
ticket with my daughter flyingout.
Like, of course, we purchased aplane ticket, of course.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
Like that's a little different.
Though You're kind of helpingyour daughter, let's just say he
needs something.
It has nothing to do with yourdaughter, but he needs something
.

Speaker 5 (25:19):
If he was like I need something, I would consider it
yes, because he's family.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
I think there's a sore spot that people don't like
to admit If the person, if yourcurrent person, had someone
else in the past and they'restill in contact, whether it's
because of a child or not,that's always like a spot in the
back of your mind that says youknow, like you know they were
before me and it kind of livesthere.
Now how you handle it is prettygood.

(25:46):
I think you're probably uniquethan most people.

Speaker 5 (25:54):
But it has always been a challenge for people to
look at that X and be okay.
It takes work, Don't get mewrong.
It took a while for me to gethere.
It's not easy.
You know what I mean.
But it's at the end of the dayyou have to see, like, just like
you were saying, it's thenegative energy that you give
somebody to live rent free inyour, in your mind.
You know what I mean.
Like, if you let that go likeit's now nothing, no, I
definitely agree.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Just a lot of times when I think, like you know, of
course we all get in theseconversations, these debates
which are significant about, youknow, exes and stuff like that,
and sometimes I feel like ifyou give so much thought of your
ex, it's giving them energythat they really don't, I want
to say, deserve, but it's notworth it.
So to me, if you're saying,listen, I don't want you to give

(26:36):
her no gift, you just made itfeel, made me feel, like you
think it's more than what it is.
I'm giving a gift, just like Igive my coworkers, I give my
friends, I give people on a dayto day basis, but for you to
tell me that I have to changewhat I do, meaning that I can't
give her a gift, you're givingher more energy than I'm really
thinking about her.
You know what I'm saying.
For me to be actively thinking,no, I can't give her a gift.

(26:58):
You just gave her to me.
You just gave her energy thatshe doesn't really have.
You see what I'm saying.
I treat her just like anybodyelse.
If I give my friends gifts, I'mgoing to give her a gift, like
you know, because you know,because she's in my life I'm
gonna give her a gift, but onceyou be like, well, don't give
her a gift, you can't give herone now.
You.
Now you got me thinking likedamn she's, you're giving her
more energy than she deservesbut you know what it depends on?

Speaker 3 (27:18):
it depends on how you describe the ex to your mate,
right, because that's true ifyou described it as is
tumultuous and they broke myheart and they did this, they
did that and you put all thatnegative energy out of our gift,
then that person you know thecurrent person is always going
to be thinking well, why wouldyou do anything for that person?
right?
Because a lot of times we dothat, right, we take out our

(27:38):
frustrations, we tell ourcurrent partner how horrible the
other person was.
It's like sometimes we tell ourkids which we should never,
ever do that right, but when you?
Do that you're.
You got to realize you'reputting that into your current
partner's mind, and so that'sgoing to create the the problem.
So we got to think about thattoo.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
You're absolutely right, because a lot of times
when we break up, what's thefirst thing we doing?
When we, you know, we courtingthe person, new person, we
telling, like all the bad thingsthat absolutely that the person
that you were with did oh, shedidn't do this, she didn't cook,
we didn't, she didn't have sexwith me.

Speaker 4 (28:08):
That's because you want that new person to do all
that right, never believe whatsomebody tells you all those
things, do not believe thelisteners audience do not
believe that, but we all do.

Speaker 3 (28:20):
They were crazy, we don't tell them that we don't
tell the bad things aboutourselves, right?
We tell the bad things aboutthe other person, right?

Speaker 2 (28:26):
so so it's so, we do, we build it, we build this.
This evil person.
I'm like okay, she didn't do,she didn't do this, she didn't
do that, she wasn't doing this,she smelled like that.

Speaker 5 (28:39):
Not that she smelled like that Right.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
But these are the things we do, because you don't
never get in a new relationshipand you be like yeah, I broke up
with this girl, she waswonderful.

Speaker 3 (28:48):
She was this Never, ever, ever in the history of in
history.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
She did this to me she was my life.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
I thought.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
I was going to marry her Because a new person is
going to walk back and say well,what the fuck are you doing
with me Exactly?
What the fuck are you doingwith me Exactly?
It's bullshit.
So you list all the negativeand you keep it moving.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
So you yeah, for sure that sets the stage, I know,
and that's totally great, likethat we're all talking about it
and we're saying it out loudLike damn Like.

Speaker 4 (29:15):
Yeah Right, it's your perspective.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
That you're giving.

Speaker 4 (29:18):
Oh, this is true too, and it all has to do with Also,
like your maturity level.
Can you, can you recognize when, the, where you fucked up?
Or can you recognize, or do yousee, or do you see?
Do you put all the fault inyour partner, and then you know
what's on?

Speaker 2 (29:32):
a new relationship.
Have you ever?
Have you ever?
First of all, I guess I shouldask this question have you ever
broke up with a person and itwas your fault, or y'all broke
up because it was your fault?
Has that anybody?
Ever felt that Definitely.

Speaker 3 (29:43):
And so your next relationship, so so your new
relationship did you, did youadmit that?

Speaker 4 (29:51):
So how have I been Sleeping?

Speaker 3 (29:53):
around.
But I would never tell my newperson that it was my fault?

Speaker 4 (29:58):
Of course not.
You wouldn't like.
Oh, I was putting my shiteverywhere.

Speaker 5 (30:02):
I would never tell a new person.
I was a scallywag.
That's why we broke up.
I had about six differentgirlfriends on the side, so
that's why I'm getting that.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
So nobody ever admitted that.
Listen, we broke up because itwas my fault.
I like how this is going, soI'm assuming.
Nobody ever admitted likelisten my last relationship.
I was fucked up, I cheated, Idid this and this has happened.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
I'm an angel Right.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
You're full of shit.
But a lot of times, even if youwere the one that cheated and
broke up, we say something likethis Well, we broke up because
they wasn't giving me this andit made me do that.
You don't never be like Ifucked up.

Speaker 4 (30:39):
But again, what's the source of it?
It's because you want thesethings from your new partner, so
you're able to identify who youdidn't get from your last
partner and you want thesethings in this new person.
So you're telling them, sothey're making a conscious
effort to say, okay, well, thisperson needs these things.
This is why they ended.

(30:59):
This is why the lastrelationship ended.

Speaker 3 (31:00):
So they need these strategic, very strategic, it's
very strategic.

Speaker 5 (31:02):
Well, I feel like some people say things like that
and when they come with, oh Ididn't get this from so and so
and I didn't get that, it's likeyou're setting yourself up
because they're going to findsomething that they don't get
from you, right, you know whatI'm saying?
Like it's a never-ending cyclebecause that person is not
dealing with their own likeissues.

Speaker 4 (31:21):
Because they're fucking crazy, correct.

Speaker 5 (31:23):
You know, what I mean .

Speaker 2 (31:24):
So keep that thought, so explain what you mean.
So you're saying, if I complainto my new person about so
what's that old saying that mygrandma used to say?

Speaker 5 (31:32):
you lose them, how you get them?
Yeah, so if somebody comes toyou and they're like, oh, x, y
and Z never gave me, blah, blah,blah, or I'm doing this because
I didn't get this, my person,my ex, didn't cook, my ex didn't
like to have sex, or whateverthere is going to be If that
person doesn't address their owninsecure issues.

(31:55):
Yes, it's a repetitive cycle.
It's going to be the same thingwith you.
It's they're going to havesomething they didn't get from
you yeah, true you know what Imean like, and then the next
person after you?
right, because you lose them.
How you get them that personafter you?
They're going to find somethingIf they don't address their
issue.
It's going to be the same thing.
It's an insecurity.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
That's very true.
I agree with that.
But I will say that there havebeen times when I would say,
when I was younger, I wasimmature, I didn't make the
right decisions, I wasn'tsettled, I wasn't committed.
I have said that going into newrelationships.
So that's being as transparentas I possibly could be, without
giving all the details right.
So I think that's fair like Ithink you should if anyone comes

(32:38):
to you, if you get a new personnow and all they can tell you
is about the negative thingsfrom their prior partner and
nothing negative aboutthemselves that's a red flag,
it's absolutely 100 and nothingis going to change.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
You're just the next person in their cycle and it's
going to keep going and goingand going, absolutely, oh, and
you know what I mean.
That's something to think about.
Actually, that'd be a goodtopic later on.

Speaker 4 (32:59):
Is reading red flags.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
It's a lot of red flags.
That is such a good topic.
So you're saying so so carnival, ladies.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
But, believe it or not?

Speaker 2 (33:14):
a lot of males and females get caught up in the
storyline of their currentperson's past.
They get up and they're like,oh you know what?
I love this person becausenobody ever gave them the chance
.

Speaker 5 (33:25):
No, who does that?
An immature person.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
Right, Right, Right.
Do you think it would be a goodthing if we say listen, you
know I'm courting you.
I want to be with you.
Is it possible for me to speakto your ex?
Would that be a thing?
Would you think that should bea thing?

Speaker 4 (33:44):
I like that.
I like that they would behonest and not bite.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
Like, if they're not angry, little elves, the ex is
gonna tell you what they feel.
The negative was in the.
You're not dating that ex,you're dating the person.
But you have, those are redflags.

Speaker 4 (33:59):
It doesn't mean it's a deal breaker, right here's the
other thing if somebody is atthe point where they are fully
aware of their own shit, theyshould be able to tell you that.
They should be able to say thisis what it looks like when I'm
angry.
This is what it looks like whenI'm feeling insecure.
This is what, if?
This is what it looks like whenI need you.
This is what it looks like whenI'm mad at you.

(34:19):
That's how you know that you'redating the right person.

Speaker 5 (34:23):
Or the ability to right or the ability to
apologize and say listen, Iapologize for that and this is
why I reacted that way.
Going forward, this is mytrigger.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
Can we move forward, so think about it when we get a
new job.
The actual references Bitch bye.
We ain't calling nobody exes.
You were my three.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
You were my three, y'all can call my exes because
they still on exes.
Okay, so far.
So far, you were my three, youwere my three, you were my three
.
Listen, y'all can call my exesbecause they still on the tail,
okay.
We try to call them out, so youcan call all them and they'll
be like yo that's the best bitchI ever had.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
So we got.
So.
When you get a new job, whenyou get a new job, you got
references.
When you get trying to buy ahouse or you're listening, to a
realtor they list theirreferences.
When you're starting a newbusiness, you're like, okay,
listen, I do this and here's myreferences.
Why?

Speaker 4 (35:17):
not, so you're willing to list your last three
references Correct.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
I know, but what I'm saying is Are you willing to do
that?
Are you trying to?

Speaker 5 (35:28):
look for red flags ladies.
It is time to carnival willingto do that if you're trying to
look for red flags ladies.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
Okay, what I'm trying to say is but I mean, but is is
it?
Is it far-fetched to asksomeone listen, listen, I'm not,
I'm, I'm 50 years old, I don'thave time to play no games.
I think it's immature as fuck.
You think so.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
The actual references like I think, if you're 50 and
you can't recognize red flagsyou have a problem.
I think grown people shouldhave grown conversations.

Speaker 5 (35:53):
I think maybe like sex.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
What's the difference between references and sex
references?

Speaker 5 (36:01):
There's a difference.

Speaker 3 (36:04):
Oh my god, that must be We'll ask her, I'll say what
would your ex say about you?

Speaker 5 (36:10):
I like that, that's kind of corny, it's how you
phrase it.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
I'll say what would your ex say about you?
I like that.
I know that's kind of corny.
I like that.
No, I like it, though it's howyou phrase it.
No, I like that.
I do like that.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
Right, because now you know any bullshit, right?
Oh, he's going to say I was thesweetest thing ever.

Speaker 5 (36:20):
Blah, blah, blah.
You are crazy bitch A.
I left, right, I'm the victim.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
I left because of x, y and z nah bitch, like you got
red flags up and down.
You know what's funny.
Okay, I you know.
I could say this because it'stwo different people and they
told me this situation, but Idon't think they listened to our
podcast, so we ain't gottaworry about it, so I could say
it.
So one one of the this femaletold me that when she started
dating her, he now they'remarried.
They're married.
Now Her ex, I mean her Currenthusband, told her he's like,
she's like.
Well, why did you break up Withyour ex?

(36:56):
He said, I'm gonna be honestwith you.
She was complaining that mypenis was too small.
She married him, so, so.

Speaker 5 (37:04):
I think that Wait time out who married who?

Speaker 2 (37:07):
She married him, like I mean they got married.
They got married Lil Dick.
She married him.
I mean they got married Littledick.

Speaker 4 (37:11):
They got married.
Little dick, yeah, little dick.
You know I was having thisconversation last night, it
isn't.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
Okay, okay, say what you got to say Ocean in the
ocean.
I know, I know what you'reabout to say.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
Tell us what's on your mind, because I don't want
no one in my life.
Help me understand this, don't.
Last night at dinner with agroup of my friends, and we were
talking about this earlier.
I don't know if you what wereyou talking about there?
are different.
Have you seen Love, Sex andGoop on Netflix?

(37:38):
So there are different ways,there are different sexual ways,
Like I don't know if Just comeand say what you're going to say
what I want to say.
Right, that's not what I wantto say.
What I want to say is thatthere are different.
Different things get differentpeople off.
There's like a sensual a sexual, a kinky?

(38:01):
There are like differentcategories of sexuality that get
people off you know what I mean, and so somebody.

Speaker 5 (38:08):
But you need a good pounding every once in a while
I'm going to stop you rightthere, that's it, that's it, she
said it, she wants it.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
So listen.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
So I want you to tell your story, but I think this is
going to turn into anotherpodcast topic.
But I want you to tell it,because when we do it, I want it
to transition.

Speaker 5 (38:31):
So the network, or whoever listened, whoever wrote
that show has a little dick, sofinish what you're saying this
is going to be our next topic.

Speaker 4 (38:35):
There's like a sex therapist on the show, but it's
an interesting show.
But anyway I can tell you thatJust my personal story.
I can identify as a sensualperson, which is somebody that
my senses, as long as they arestimulated and intrigued.

Speaker 5 (38:51):
I don't need penetration, which is a sense
that stimulates your vagina,because that's me.

Speaker 4 (38:56):
But you're probably a sexual person.
Shout out to the sexual.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
So, Ness, can you explain?

Speaker 4 (39:04):
to her because we can understand.
So a sensual right, personal, asensual person?
Doesn't you use your fivesenses?
So as long as your senses arestimulated, for instance, I
don't necessarily needpenetration.
I can get off on other things.
I've gotten off from having myshoulder licked.

(39:26):
How's that?

Speaker 1 (39:27):
Wow, that's powerful.
I'm going for you A wholewaterfall.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
It worked pretty well .

Speaker 4 (39:33):
So that's what I'm saying, just like there are
different senses.
For me, it's the experience youshould.

Speaker 5 (39:42):
Somebody want to lick my elbow.
It won't work.

Speaker 4 (39:46):
It's nice, but for different people.
And again I've been able to getoff, not penetration from other
things.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
But I bet it depends on the person.
Now, of course, right, becauseyou can have a high level of
attraction to someone and theycan totally get you off versus
someone else.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
I definitely feel it's attraction.
I feel it's attraction and it'schemistry.
Oh, of course, yeah.

Speaker 3 (40:14):
Chemistry is so important.
Chemistry is important.
I agree with chemistry as a newperson I'm dating.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
I get super hot like that.
No one's ever got me hot beforeand I can just listen to you
talk your language and I'm readyshe said your language.

Speaker 3 (40:29):
You're just like oh Ready, I feel like I'm in a
matrix right now.
They call that butter, that'scalled butter.

Speaker 5 (40:35):
I feel like if somebody's rubbing my shoulders
I'm falling asleep.
Oh.

Speaker 4 (40:40):
Facts Right, it was just, it was where it was.
You know, I'd be like ow, itwas like hey, you know what?

Speaker 2 (40:46):
I could agree Because it was in the past.
I have a particular female thatwould go down on me and she
would have an orgasm, severalorgasms, just with doing that.
So I mean, I'm sure that's thesame thing.

Speaker 4 (40:58):
Yeah, yeah, exactly that's the experience.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
Shout out to the sexual girl Right.

Speaker 1 (41:05):
You know, I want to say she might have not been that
way with anyone else.
It's probably that level ofattraction that she had to him
in the whole experience Correct,which did that.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (41:16):
So the levels are like according to this show, the
sex therapist on the show,which is very interesting
Because I mean they do someweird shit Like you're laying on
the table and you're like usingenergy.
So your heat is like generatingenergy in that area.
So they're sensual, they islike generating energy in that
area.

Speaker 5 (41:34):
So they're sensual.
They're sexual.
There's kinky.
What's in the kinky?
What do they do?

Speaker 4 (41:36):
Like butt plugs Weird shit, butt plugs, they have
these claws.
They have these like Wolverineclaws that you scrape their skin
.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 5 (41:47):
No, somebody was telling me that's just like the
whole feet thing.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
People don't like feet, like it's borderline
fetish.
Right, also, it could be it'sfetish.
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 5 (41:56):
Fetish is to get people off.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
I'm definitely thinking this is going to be the
next topic.

Speaker 5 (42:00):
Kinky shit, kinky shit.
You know what she's talkingabout sensual.

Speaker 2 (42:12):
You got kinky shit.
I don't like kinky shit, we'rejust gonna definitely go.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
I see we're gonna like go off with some other shit
.
I feel like such a nerd.
Oh my god, I'm like you a whole.
Do we need to educate you?
You're a whole lie over there.
You're not a whole nerd.

Speaker 4 (42:21):
Middle zone bet you a whole lie over there so you're
just, we saw the zoo.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
You must just be sexual he's a straight sex,
right, I'm straight sex.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
I mean I, I sorry Does that make a difference
though let's just say youexplain to your current person.

Speaker 5 (42:34):
I feel like terrible because I don't have all those.
I don't want you to rub myshoulders.

Speaker 4 (42:39):
I like to be touched and rubbed.
I like your closeness.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
That means, like I said, it's probably the person
I'm sure.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
So let's just say you got that new person right, you,
the person.
So I'm sure.
So let's just say you, you gotthat new person right, you with
the new person, and you talkedand let's just say y'all, let's
just say y'all was friends priorto you actually getting into a
relationship and you told himabout your sex capades with your
, your ex, with that.
Does that make a difference tohow the gift giving, like if I'd
be, like okay, what?
So let's just say you and I,you and I, are just friends
right.
And I'm just telling you youknow, I'm confiding you're like,

(43:09):
you know, my ex, we, we, wehave beautiful sex.
We was like mountains roaredthings happen when we had sex.

Speaker 4 (43:16):
Better not buy her shit exactly so.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
It all depends on what type of relationship you
have.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
No it really doesn't my bottom line is if you're
buying it in the name of thechild, based on their age,
whatever your shit is over atthe end of the day.

Speaker 5 (43:31):
You're no longer in the name of the child based on
their age.
Whatever, your shit is over atthe end of the day.
You're no longer in arelationship with them.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
But you're not in a relationship with your coworkers
, your friends, and you stillbuy them gifts.

Speaker 5 (43:38):
That's what I'm trying to say but you got a kid,
you're still in a relationshipwith them, right?

Speaker 3 (43:41):
So y'all agree, you just don't agree.
I don't agree.

Speaker 5 (43:52):
Right, agree, you agree, that's okay, and I'm
trying to.
I'm just trying to see yourrationale too, but there's
limits.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
So you agree.
So you, you agree to limits.

Speaker 5 (43:55):
Yeah, you agree to limits, okay, I mean, I mean it
makes sense we're saying by thewasher, she's saying by the
chocolates to buy the bitch notin a royal quarter.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
She says she can't use the two flavors can mix
together, but don't you feellike?

Speaker 2 (44:10):
to me?
Yeah, just this is me.
And when don't you feel like tome, just as me?
Don't you feel like as a guy, Iwould feel like you're giving
her too much energy, like youputting too much so for you to
tell me like you can't get hergifts.
You're making me feel like Iwant her more than like she
really is.

Speaker 5 (44:27):
For me it's, but please explain because I'm
trying to.
It sounds like that's aninsecure answer.

Speaker 3 (44:31):
Yeah, it does.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
It does.

Speaker 4 (44:33):
Maybe, it does, but I'm trying to understand.
There is a child involved,however, and you provide for
your child, right?

Speaker 2 (44:41):
Right.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
The gift.
Yes, right, that's the gift.
You provide a gift for yourchild.
Yes, again, according to age.
I'm not putting, I'm nottelling you it has to be they're
six years old.
It has to be a $25 limit.
I'm not saying that Accordingto the child.
The child tells you listen, Iwant to buy my mom this.
Okay, let's go, let's goshopping for your mom.
I'm not telling you you can'tget her anything.

(45:04):
I don't feel, as your new woman, that you need to get her a
gift on your own.
But why, though?

Speaker 5 (45:11):
Why.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Why is that disrespectful?
So, why is it disrespectful?

Speaker 4 (45:20):
Because, again, for me, gifts are thoughtful, gifts
are purposeful.
At least that's how I shop forit.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
So she don't want that bitch thought of is what
she's saying, but she has to bethought of because that's the
mother of his kid.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
Right, regardless, you can't take that away.
There's nothing you could dopossibly to take that away.
Right, there's nothing.

Speaker 5 (45:39):
You don't feel like that.
That would be something thatwould help a relationship.

Speaker 4 (45:44):
No, okay.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
Right, so look at it this way.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
I've okay, right, so let's look at it this way I've
never got a gift that has helpedmy relationship I don't know
this is a good example.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
But like p diddy, like, oh you know, he has like a
lot of baby mothers, they alllike go out together.

Speaker 5 (46:01):
He gets some gifts like that's ideal, right, but
he's.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
But they all explain it's not like they, they,
they're a family, they as I.
I'm okay with that, right, sowhy so you?
But you're contradictingyourself.
You're saying that.
You're saying that, yeah, I'mokay with the family, but you
ain't getting shit listen I feellike you know, you're not
getting shit from you.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
You know, receiving right, you guys know, receiving
gifts is a love language.
That is actually a lovelanguage.

Speaker 5 (46:29):
There are five love languages but you may love that
person because that's the motherof your kid okay, no, no, let's
focus the energy back.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
The energy should be on the child, right so you're
channeling what, what?
So the child is not able to buythe parent a gift no, your job.

Speaker 5 (46:46):
She's talking about separate gifts.
I'm talking about separate.

Speaker 4 (46:49):
But that's what I'm saying.
This relationship is related tothe child.
If the child wants to get theirparent a gift.
Okay, no problem, let's goshopping.

Speaker 5 (46:59):
I'm okay with that, but a separate gift, but there's
a certain level of respect thatyou give to someone when you're
in a room with them for 24hours and you see them pushing
your kid out of their vagina.
That's a certain level ofrespect that's never going to go
away.

Speaker 3 (47:15):
But what I would say if you're in another
relationship, completely, Iwould say that you channel the
gift that you would givepersonally and the child.
You just put that into onebigger gift.

Speaker 5 (47:26):
But she's also saying it's according to the age,
right Like.

Speaker 3 (47:29):
she's saying like If the child is six's, saying If
it's six, if the child is six,right.

Speaker 5 (47:31):
So that's not gonna equate To like two gifts from
someone.
So yeah, like I just don't seethe issue.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
Well, you know what, how I look at it is Okay, I
respect, I respect, okay, I'mwith my new, my new person.
I respect my baby motherBecause she knows I'm with my
new person.
I respect my baby motherbecause she takes care of my
daughter while I'm not around,the old me would agree with you.
But think about it.

Speaker 5 (47:53):
It took a long way.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
But think about it.
She takes care of my daughter.
She's the perfect mom.
She doesn't give me no hassle.
Sometimes I'm late with thechild support and she's like, oh
, don't worry about it, get thenext pay.
But now I'm just thinking aboutall the things that, like, we
give them a gift.
You like, like show themrespect, like, listen, like a
thank you.
Right, you are part of, you'rea part of my life, whether it's
your ex or whatever.
You're a part of my life andthank you for being who you are.

(48:17):
That's, that's how I see a gift.

Speaker 4 (48:23):
So my question is this I don't think with.
Do you continue to buy themgifts?

Speaker 3 (48:27):
no, that's different though, but that's what I'm
saying why can't it all bechanneled through the child,
like why do you have to dosomething in agreement with that
and you?
Can still raise the limits ofwhat you're buying if you can
raise the limits, then yes, likeif it's.

Speaker 5 (48:40):
If she because she was saying it's age specific,
like so for the six-year-oldgoing to the store and buying a
card with chocolates that theypick out, like a six-year-old's
not going to be like, oh,there's a louis bag, my mom
would like that, right.
So she's saying like thesix-year-old would buy
chocolates.
That's not necessary.

Speaker 3 (48:55):
I think you could take a six-year-old to a store
like that.
Now, if there's six and you cansay what kind of you know dress
would mommy like?
What kind of sweater wouldmommy like?
What kind of like?
I think you could actually dothat and I think there's a way
to kind of kill two birds withone stone I agree with that too.

Speaker 5 (49:10):
It's, it's, whatever you figure out, what I just
think, but I just still.
In addition, if that next level, if you wanted to give
something as a sign of respect,that, what is the problem with
that?

Speaker 4 (49:22):
I find that the your only tie and connection to this
person is your child right, Iagree, I agree with that.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
But how do you show that?
Through your child?
But I agree, you channel that,I agree with that.
But how do you show that?
through your child but how doyou show a person that you
respect them as whoever they are?
And you don't do that throughtonight, like like this.
So okay, this is a good.
Here's a prime example.
You, you and I have a kidtogether.
How about I tell my, go tellmommy that daddy loves her.
Right, think about it, it's thesame shit.

(49:52):
So, junior, go tell mommy thatI love mommy.
Would you be like, why didn'tyou say that?
So for me to get a gift for myex.

Speaker 3 (50:02):
Well, shit, you know what?
Here's what I hear from all ofthis.
You just lost me on that one.
You lost me on this one too.

Speaker 4 (50:08):
Listen, you want to have a baby Because you're going
to give me gifts anyway, soI'll take that.

Speaker 3 (50:12):
See, you can't.
What you're trying to do iskind of maintain A relationship.
You're trying to maintain arelationship, but not maintain a
relationship.
You have a child, and I thinkthat should now be like.
Really it should be yourvehicle, for you know any
inroads back to the other person.
That should be the vehicle.
If you do it separately, theneverything we're talking about

(50:34):
applies.
It could be like someone elsecould misinterpret that.
So if you go out and buy them areally extravagant gift and the
child is buying anage-appropriate gift.

Speaker 5 (50:43):
It looks like you're putting a lot more energy and
thought into that.
It shouldn't be extravagant.
If you can't afford and you goout of your way to make it
something that it's that youcan't, that wouldn't be within
your means.
I could see what you're sayingas far as, like, you're going
out of your way to, like, getthis gift right.
But if it's like you're sayingokay to your current significant

(51:05):
other, all right, are we goingto spend what's our limit?
A hundred dollars, okay, sowe're gonna go out and buy
something for a hundred dollars,like I don't think that would
be a problem I'm okay with thatas well.

Speaker 4 (51:16):
You're discussing that with your current partner
that you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (51:19):
I think that's what we said, right like that right
so one of us is something tolike.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
I'm like, listen, I want to get.
I want to get baby mamasomething.
I really don't care.
Can you pick it out for her?
Would that make it different IfI clued you into?

Speaker 4 (51:29):
it.
That would be okay.
I don't, that's what I do.
I think that would be okay,you're including that, you're
including your current partnerInto it.
Yeah, I think that that's fine,okay, so.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
The problem is not the gift, it's just how Is it
presented to the person?
Okay, so.

Speaker 4 (51:44):
I mean, so we can agree, okay, okay okay.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
So I don't feel like we like far yeah we're not that
far apart.

Speaker 5 (51:49):
The whole gift giving , everyone agrees.

Speaker 3 (51:52):
Yeah, I think we agree the separate gift I'm
still on the fence with, but Ican see a possibility.

Speaker 4 (51:57):
You're a hater.
That's why, no, I agree.
I agree with Glenn.
I think that you know your onlycommonality with this person is
your child and you give yourgift to your child, regardless
of what it is.
You know, if they're innecessity like we talked earlier
about the washing machine ifthey are in necessity and your
child will benefit from whateverit is that they need absolutely

(52:19):
go for it For what your childwill benefit from.
But if, bitch, my kid is grownand you need a, washing machine.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
You need to talk to somebody else.
But Ness honestly think aboutit, though Whatever I do and how
I treat her mom, she's alwaysgoing to benefit.
Whether it's a gift or how Itreat her, she's always going to
benefit.
So I hate what you're saying,but how I treat her mother while
we're not together dictates howour relationship is going to be
going forward.

Speaker 5 (52:45):
But you already know, as a licensed social worker,
okay, that all of theserelationships are going to fall
back down on the kid.
That's what they see right.
So that's what my goal is.
I'm trying to have my kids seethe best version so that their
relationships are healthy.

Speaker 4 (53:04):
Right and you can be respectful without having to do
the extra stuff.

Speaker 3 (53:09):
I think I could take my six-year-old, I could take
her and say look, we're gonnagive mommy a birthday gift,
we're gonna get mommy achristmas gift, whatever, and we
could do that together.
And then I could I could likesupplement that with something
even nicer, right, because thechild's gonna do childish things
.
I'm gonna say but wait,wouldn't mommy love?

Speaker 5 (53:24):
that's what she was saying.
Like that's, the supplementingis not supposed to happen.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
No, with the child, but through the child.
It's not separate.
This is from daddy and daughterto the mom.

Speaker 4 (53:36):
This is from daughter , it's implied that daddy paid
for it, and we understand that.

Speaker 5 (53:47):
so he can't say he can't say.
He can't say from daddy issuethat you have from daddy.

Speaker 4 (53:51):
That's what I'm trying to figure out it's not
that that I have the issue, butwhen you talk about separate and
again, if we're talking aboutI'm not buying my ex that I
don't have a child with.
I have severed ties with thatperson and I understand that you
have a child, but that is don'thave a child with.
I have severed ties with thatperson and I understand that you
have a child, but that is yourcommonality the child, so
everything.
The child, I agree should bethe vehicle, like the

(54:13):
relationship is severed but youcan have friends with an ex.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
You can be friends with an ex though, right yeah?
Oh, well see well then then,kind of back to Tyson's point
then, because if you can befriends with an ex, they could
be like a co-worker.
You could have met them at workeven.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Right, and you could give them gifts Just like a
co-worker.
That part she's like nah man,I'm Puerto.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
Rican Listen.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
What's the point of Puerto Rican.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
We cut bitches.
Okay, we don't like I don't.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
And I think that's the issue.

Speaker 5 (54:40):
But when they are it's the problem.
I think you can be friends withan ex.
But how?
Why do you?

Speaker 4 (54:48):
want to be friends with an ex, that relationship is
severed.
Why do?

Speaker 3 (54:52):
you want to be friends, it transitions to a
different type of relationship.
You want to be friends withthat person because you want to
leave the roads open.

Speaker 5 (54:59):
Whether it be sex or whatever else you want to leave
the roads open.
Back to podcast episode numberone.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Right, you guys are confusing things.
Back to podcast.
You guys are confusing things.

Speaker 4 (55:09):
There's no friendship with it, because I could tell
you all of my exes that I'veended like, oh, we're going to
be friends, yeah, while we werefucking still, and then we were
not friends anymore.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Put kids into the mix .
I think we're mixing apart thekids.

Speaker 5 (55:23):
That's making me worry that I'm coming over to
see the kids.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
No, you guys are confusing.
I mean, maybe because I have akid and I have a couple of kids,
you got a partner.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
Right.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
All the kids as me.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
When I look at her and let's just say she's my ex,
we're done.
When and let's just say she'smy ex, you know we're done.
When I look at her, all thethings we've been through you
know we've raised the kids,we've been through this stuff At
the minimum she deserves to me,she deserves a gift.
Not to say that you know I wantto be with her or anything
Agreed.
I still have to.
Still, and it's just the backof my mind.
No matter what I do, she'sstill the mother of my children.

(56:00):
Right she raised them to thepoint where you know.

Speaker 5 (56:02):
I can see both points in this situation Right.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
So she raised them to a point.
So I have to.
I want to continue Like, like,once we break up, they don't
stop being my kids.
She still.
She don't stop being my babymother.
So I want to still continue toshow her that, listen, we're not
together, I'm in love withsomeone else, mother of my kids,
and you still have thedirection show the direction of
my kids where they're going toend up.

(56:26):
So I want to show you myappreciation.
I don't want to give my kid agift.

Speaker 5 (56:31):
I think there's so many people that fuck it up for
this situation that we're likeno, no, my point is that you can
continue to be respectful, youcan continue to be a partner and
child rearing.

Speaker 4 (56:44):
gifts don't have to be a part of that.
Gifts to me say something else.
So you know what?
Let's take your boo out of it.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
Let's take your boo out of it.
Let's just say you have kidsWait time out.
Let's say you have kids right,I have kids.
You have kids and you're notwith your baby daddy anymore.

Speaker 4 (57:05):
What do you want him to still show?

Speaker 3 (57:06):
you some type of respect?
You don't want to ask me thatbecause I really like getting
gifts.
See, this shit all comes out.
You know what I'm saying andthat's what it is.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
I enjoy getting gifts , and when I get gifts, I enjoy
thoughtful gifts.
I enjoy gifts that are made forme.
I enjoy gifts that because Itake it as this person really
thought about me.

Speaker 5 (57:26):
So you know what I think.
I think the amazon gift card.
I think the answer would be.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
I think the answer would be different if the person
, if you was your ex-baby daddywas like listen, you're just
you're.
You're my kid's mother.
Listen, I don't want nothingelse to do with you, and if you
get a gift, it's gonna be fromhim.
I don't care, I just want youto take care of her, and that's
it.
I think you're looking at it alittle different.

Speaker 4 (57:43):
Okay, I'm getting a gift from my child and it's
because you want me to take careof this child.
I know you paid for the gift.
I know that.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
Right, but it's a difference between me giving
money to my daughter to give toyou as opposed to me giving you
something.

Speaker 5 (57:58):
It seems like it's a little bit more effort.

Speaker 2 (57:59):
Right effort.
Right listen, like I listen.
We're not together, but I doknow that you need a washer.
I do know you that you needthis.
I you know, last time I droppedmy daughter off to see you for
a visit, or you dropped off thevisit, I noticed that your bag
was busted.
I want to get you a bag, itjust just thank you, I'm just
you know, I want to tell youthat we couldn't, whatever we
had going on.

Speaker 5 (58:17):
Well, whoever that baby daddy is, you send him our
way right because, we won't talkto him.

Speaker 2 (58:24):
Let's just say the guy is thinking like he said
listen, you know, we had, we hadour issues.
We just couldn't work.
We, you know, we had our child.
But I want to know thateverything that we have in the
past, I appreciate it.
I do appreciate it and that'sall it is.
I'm not saying that my husbandis like he's not giving you a,
he's not trying to give youlingerie, anything like that.
He's just like listen, likelisten, I'm going to give you a

(58:44):
gift.
You know, don't let it go toyour head.
I'm just saying that you.

Speaker 4 (58:47):
Well, I accept all gifts, including bags and
accessories.

Speaker 3 (58:52):
And since you guys are so giving.

Speaker 4 (58:55):
I just want to say that I want to tell you that my
womb is open.
Your womb, it's like that mywomb is open, your womb.

Speaker 5 (59:04):
It's open like that.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
My womb is open and if you guys want to give gifts,
I'm just saying it could be fromdaddy and daughter or daddy and
son.
I'll take any kind of gifts.
I take all gifts.

Speaker 4 (59:16):
I enjoy shoes and bags and makeup and I enjoy spa
gifts.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
So what does everybody take away there?
What do you?
What's your final?
What's your final word?

Speaker 3 (59:33):
it's complicated.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
It's complicated okay , you mean what's your word?
Yes, you could buy gifts andand everything's gonna be okay.

Speaker 5 (59:43):
Everything will be okay.
I'm telling you It'll bealright, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
Antoine, what you saying?

Speaker 5 (59:49):
If kids are involved, yes, Wait time out, so we
didn't hear from Flyboy.
Really too much, so what?

Speaker 3 (59:54):
do you mean?
I said what I said.

Speaker 5 (59:55):
He said If kids are, involved, but we can't buy gifts
Without kids.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
No, no See, that's different.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:00:01):
Maybe I don't think Without the kids involved.
There's no time.
If I'm buying gifts For my exwithout kids, I mean he's giving
me some.

Speaker 5 (01:00:07):
I'm sorry, I meant to rephrase so if A kid can give a
gift, but if he's giving a giftWithout Like in addition to
that's not Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
If they're taking care Of your child, sure, but if
there's no kids involved, I'mOkay.
If there's no kids involved.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
I agree with.

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
Ness Right.

Speaker 5 (01:00:24):
No kids involved.
I agree with that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
But if kids involved.

Speaker 5 (01:00:28):
You can't give separate gifts.
You can't give two separategifts.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
I would give two separate gifts.

Speaker 5 (01:00:31):
Oh yeah, you could yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:00:42):
So, like she said, I'm sure the baby Right Wait,
hold on.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
That makes sense Well yes, that makes sense.

Speaker 4 (01:00:47):
That does make sense.
Yes and no.
There's a difference between aBeamer or a Benz and a Honda.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Right, okay.

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
Right Simple.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
Okay, you're right.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
Mac, what are you saying?
I say all Beamer Benz andBentley, all, all gifts at that
stage have to be channeledthrough the child.

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
No separate gifts, I'm sorry.
No separate gifts no separategifts, point taken the child.
I'm with G-Mac, but you canblow the gift up.
Now.
You can blow it.
It could be a car.
This is from me and our baby.

Speaker 5 (01:01:13):
So it just has to say from the baby.

Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
Yeah, or from us, so that's how you slip it in.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
I'm going to get you in his house, but it's going to
save you, you smooth his house.
Yeah, they call me.

Speaker 4 (01:01:23):
That's because he still wants the ties.

Speaker 5 (01:01:30):
This nigga smooth his house.
The soul searcher.

Speaker 4 (01:01:33):
Yes, I will purchase you a vehicle for the ties, for
the baby.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
I'm done, never again there we go.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
That was good, that was good.
I'm going to move.
We went an hour and two minutes.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
Did I tell you y'all was fools.
Y'all are absolute fools.
I like when this is a littletipsy, like slightly tipsy she
is, because you're super smart.
You throw a little tipsy, likeslightly tipsy she is Cause you,
you, super smart, I'm prettysmart.
You throw a little tipsiness inthere, you get all bold A
little razzle dazzle, a littlerazzle dazzle for you, oba, oba.

Speaker 4 (01:02:15):
You know, I'm just feeling like kids.

Speaker 5 (01:02:18):
She's like nah, bitch , nah, you ain't sending no
gifts Ever.

Speaker 4 (01:02:23):
No, but I did buy Junior's mom a gift.

Speaker 5 (01:02:25):
I did you bought her a card with tokens From him.

Speaker 4 (01:02:29):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
From him, but you know why.

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
You know why so she text Sean she text Sean.
Oh, how did you know?
The card is so perfect.
How did you know?

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
Oh, she text Sean.