How to Release Your Inner Critic and Break Old Identity Patterns | Ep 19

Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts, overwhelmed by life's challenges? Discover how shifting your mindset and embracing your identity in Christ can transform your life. In this heartfelt episode, we explore the profound impact of "mind wars" and the power of prayer. Through personal stories and church teachings, host Tiffany Windsor and her guest Mary Koning discuss ideas for developing healthier thought patterns and emphasize the importance of speaking God's truth, even when our feelings suggest otherwise.

Join us as we delve into finding peace and positivity through faith, especially during times of discouragement and highlight how prayer serves as a divine weapon against life's struggles. We discuss how identifying and shifting our mindset can open new paths and possibilities, all while trusting in God's unwavering presence and infinite love. Concluding with a heartfelt prayer, we encourage you to embrace hope and gratitude in God's holy presence. You're never alone on this journey.

You can find all our episode information at https://www.inhiscircle.com and join us on Instagram and Facebook. You can also watch our podcast episodes on YouTube - Please join our community!

Episode Transcript

Announcer (00:00):
Welcome to In His Circle, from women for women.
We're here to help you findpeace in knowing you are in
God's hands.
Our goal is sharing the Word ofGod in simple conversations.
We're here to help you thriveevery day.
And now, here is your host.

Tiffany Windsor (00:18):
Good morning.
I'm Tiffany Windsor.

Mary Koning (00:20):
And I'm Mary Koning .

Tiffany Windsor (00:22):
And today we want to talk about identity.
And, Mary, will you start usoff in prayer?

Mary Koning (00:30):
I will.
I'm thinking about our identityin Christ that once we
surrender lordship, that I giveover my lordship of my life, my
kingdom of one, over to God,then I lose my identity in this
world and become pure, blamelessand forgiven.
And, Lord, I'm so grateful thatwe're loved with an everlasting

(00:51):
love.
You will never leave us norforsake us, so as we walk as new
creations in Christ.
Lord, I thank you, I'm gratefulfor you and fresh starts every
day In Jesus' name, amen.

Tiffany Windsor (01:06):
Amen.
Our topic today, as I mentioned, is identity, and this started
actually at church this morningbecause the topic was mind wars
and I've experienced andobserved some people lately that
fit in with this.
But let's start off with whatare mind wars, Mary?

Mary Koning (01:28):
Well, just like pastor said, it's our inner
critic, is the inner voice,which is brutal sometimes and
the enemy of our soul.
So there's two things my innercritic building me up or
breaking me down.
And then, whatever breakingdown is happening, the enemy
just jumps right on that tosteal, kill and destroy.
Both of those are negative.

(01:49):
So if my thoughts are negative,then I know those two things
are going on.

Tiffany Windsor (01:54):
What I loved was the initial description of
life is moving in the directionof your thoughts.
That is so important.
Where are your thoughts rightnow?
Are you thinking worried versuspeaceful?
Are you thinking negativeversus positive?
Are you thinking worldly versuseternal?

(02:16):
And we went through theexercise of grading ourself of
where we fall in the scale ofone to 10, ourselves of where we
fall in the scale of one to 10,one being the worried side or
the negative side, or theworldly side, and 10 being the
peaceful, positive and eternal.
It was a great exercise to gothrough.

Mary Koning (02:36):
And I've done calendar audits in the past and
audits of my work-relatedprojects, but I've never really
thought about a mind audit andthat was really powerful and I
started out really, really roughand ended much stronger.
And then I've also had muchstronger years in the past where

(02:58):
I've really made an effort towork on my thought life.
I notice if I'm not intentional, my thoughts go south, which is
not good.

Tiffany Windsor (03:11):
Your faith should be making a difference in
your life.
When you go into your negativethought in your mind wars, which
again might be worried, mightbe negative, might be getting
caught up in the worldly thingsthat don't serve you.
I love this example ofreminding us to turn to God in

(03:32):
those moments because your faithshould be making a difference
in your life.
That's something definitely inmy past year, Mary, as I've done
my 21 days of prayer and theCircle Maker has really been
teaching me, when the challengescome up, to turn immediately to
prayer and it is so incrediblypowerful and effective and

(03:58):
successful.

Mary Koning (03:59):
I find that I know what works and try something
different that doesn't work ornot, tapping into that power
that's available to me and howthe Lord tells us how forgetful
we are, that we're like childrenand we need to come to him as
children, which is we don't knowall the answers and we don't

(04:20):
know what's coming next.
But he does, and it's alsotrusting that our, our parent,
being God, protect us andprovide for us and supply for us
what we need, and I want thatit's peaceful need and I want
that it's peaceful.

Tiffany Windsor (04:39):
One of the explanations that pastor said
today was about neural pathwaysare our patterns, and so you
have to walk a new path tocreate a new pattern, because if
you continue to get stuck inthe old patterns, it's going to
be so challenging to try andwalk your new path.
I was in a situation yesterdaywhere I was gathering with some

(05:00):
people that I knew and somepeople I did not.
I love to observe in situations, listen to the talk that's
going on and how people arecommunicating.
I was stunned to hear some ofthe words come out of the women
around me who are Christianwomen, and to hear their
negative talk.

(05:20):
I don't know that.
It was a situation that didn'treally warrant that.
So I found it very interesting.
They were so comfortablespeaking that way.
I didn't try and step in andcorrect anything.
So I'm just going to talk aboutit today, of what can we do in
those moments to help oursisters, our circle sisters, to
be able to shift that thought,because if they're so

(05:41):
comfortable speaking to someonethat they've never met before in
that way, what are they doingin everyday life and everyday
family and everyday work?
That's the enemy getting intotheir thought patterns.
I just pray that that stops forall of them and that the Lord
speaks louder than the enemy sothat they will shift that

(06:03):
thinking in the moment that itstarts coming out of their mouth
.

Mary Koning (06:08):
And I had mentioned , out of the overflow of our
heart, our mouth speaks and soyou can tell what they are
thinking by how they speak.
We have a choice every time weopen our mouth Is it grateful or
is it critical?
I try to walk that line of Idon't want to be like happy
clappy, just slapping some wordsI don't feel on it, but

(06:31):
sometimes we have to speak ituntil we feel it.
Speak the word of God, thetruth of God, even if I don't
feel it.
I had mentioned loved with aneverlasting love.
God will never leave us orforsake us, which means he will
see us through every singlecircumstance and he is so
creative.
He doesn't need my help for asolution and he also doesn't

(06:53):
need worldly things for asolution.
So he's got infinite amounts ofmoney and time and supplies and
so when I think like that ithelps bring it.
It's like a string.
It's pulling my mind up towhere he is and a higher view of
things, rather than lookingaround at this world and you

(07:13):
know maybe what's on the newsand the struggles friends are
going through and trusting thatGod's got a great solution in
mind.

Tiffany Windsor (07:22):
What's so interesting to me is I hear
women who are caught in theirold patterns and their negative
thinking and they wonder why,and they don't hear themselves.
When you don't hear yourself asyou think, so you become.
How important is it for you tochange the patterns in your life

(07:45):
?
If it's important enough, youare going to seek the Lord and
you are going to pray for thewisdom to come through in that
moment and recognize that it'sthe enemy that's pulling you
down.
Honestly, I don't believe it'sthe worldly things per se.
It's not your situation, it'sthe enemy getting in your head.

(08:06):
First of all, what do you haveto do?
You have to be grateful forwhat you have, because if we are
not grateful for what we have,I don't believe that we can turn
that switch and walk theseparate path.
Create the new path, not theold pathways.
I love this.
Prayer is the place where Godgets the microphone, as opposed
to the enemy sitting on yourshoulder and whispering things.

(08:29):
When you go into prayer in themoment, it's going to be able to
help you shift from thenegative thinking that's being
whispered in your ear.

Mary Koning (08:40):
It's a choice, isn't it?

Tiffany Windsor (08:42):
It is a choice.
You need to make that choicemore important than anything
else.
I was talking to you I thinkthis was after church about oh,
I don't have enough time.
I'm trying to read the Biblethis year, which I've never done
in full.
I've picked that, I picked the365 days of creativity, I'm
trying to read back throughCircle Maker.
And I said to you I don't haveenough time for this, I can't

(09:02):
keep up every day.
And then, immediately, themessage that came to me is get
up out of your bed earlier inthe morning, you have plenty of
time.
I realized in that moment I wasbeing lazy because I can get up
earlier and take care of all ofthis.
It just has to be importantenough.

Mary Koning (09:18):
And a choice, and I love that we choose to do
things every single second.
And I had listened to a podcastwhich I love, Natalie Hoffman
and she had a guest speaker on.
And Natalie talked about howshe was so angry at her
situation and the source of theanger ended up being lack of

(09:39):
choices.
And so she really dug into thatto find out what was the
problem with the choices and shefelt like she didn't have any.
And then that was step one.
But that's not true.
And then she figured out shemaybe had two choices, but that
didn't still feel like freedom,because the Lord has infinite

(09:59):
choices, right?
And her guest said when you feelstuck like that, you need more
than two.
You need to come up with atleast five and show yourself
that you do have choices.
They might not be the ones youwant to take, but I pray the
Lord will put a flashlight onyour path.
In Psalms it says the Lord be alight unto your feet and a lamp
unto your path.
I probably have that wrong, butit's just lighting up the next

(10:22):
step.
So we don't need next year'splan or even next month's plan,
we just need the next step.
Sometimes, especially if we'reoverwhelmed.

Tiffany Windsor (10:31):
So I ask everyone one more time what is
your identity today?
Are you identifying as beingworried, negative, or are you
shifting your thought and yourprayers to bring you into peace
and positive and feeling theeternal love of God in your life
and a reminder that prayer is aweapon of heaven?

(10:56):
I love that Pastor said thattoday.
I pray for you that in themoments when you are feeling
discouraged and you are feelingdown and you're feeling like
there's no one there to help you, God is always with you.
You just have to turn towardsthe light of God, which is a
different path where you'rethinking may have been going and

(11:18):
you will see what opens up foryou, and I'd like to end with
what Pastor said about Jesus inMark, chapter 1, 33 through 36.

Mary Koning (11:30):
We aren't alone in how we feel that Jesus emptied
himself of his God qualities sohe could come to earth to know
exactly how we feel.
And he was discouraged, and hewas hungry and tired and lonely
and facing insurmountablechallenges.
He knows what you're goingthrough and he knows the

(11:52):
solution also.
So, lord, we just ask in Jesusname to help us know how to pray
, and when we don't have thewords, just the groanings in the
spirit.
But, lord, give us a gratefulheart, be the lifter of our face
up to you so we can find hopeand peace in your holy presence.

(12:13):
In Jesus name we pray, amen.

Announcer (12:17):
Amen.
Thank you for joining us fortoday's podcast.
Amen Amen.