August 10, 2024 • 21 mins
In this episode, host Tiffany Windsor and her guest Mary Koning share personal experiences and heartfelt stories about the beauty of women gathering together. From the warmth of kitchen conversations to overcoming challenges in difficult relationships, they discuss how these serene settings become sanctuaries of support and strength.
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Episode Transcript
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Announcer (00:00):
Welcome to In His Circle, from women for women.
We're here to help you findpeace in knowing you are in
God's hands.
Our goal is sharing the Word ofGod in simple conversations.
We're here to help you thriveevery day.
And now, here is your host.
Tiffany Windsor (00:18):
Good morning.
I'm Tiffany Windsor and I'mMary Koning, and today, Mary, we
want to talk about gathering.
So, as always, I want to turnit over to you so that you can
start us off in prayer.
Mary Koning (00:30):
I would love that.
I was just thinking about howGod loves us, and there isn't
anything that we can do toseparate ourselves from his love
.
It's not even the love of aparent for a child.
It's so much more unmovable,unfathomable, unmeasurable.
And He tells us this inJeremiah 31, 3, - I have loved
(00:53):
you with an everlasting love.
Therefore, I have continued myfaithfulness to you.
Full of faith, Lord, we acceptthat love and this joy that
we're feeling today, which is anoverwhelming presence of you
and your love we want for everywoman.
So please communicate thatthrough our voices to these very
hearts that need it, in Jesus'precious name, amen.
Tiffany Windsor (01:16):
Amen, thank you .
What brought us to today'stopic is we, a few weeks ago,
talked about in our You ArePowerful podcast.
I said to Mary oh, I feel likewe got off track a little bit.
We talked about women'sgathering.
I shared my experience of beingin Mary's kitchen when she was
preparing jam for a recipe forour e-zine and how important
(01:40):
that moment was to me and Mary.
I want to create more of thosemoments.
I want to gather more.
There's so many differentlevels that we, as women, can
gather.
We talked recently aboutimposing perhaps on other people
in their space and for me, I'mvery open.
I wish I had more bedrooms.
(02:01):
I would welcome a lot morepeople of like mind into my
space.
Mary Koning (02:07):
I'm going to turn this over to you and let you
decide where you first want totalk about gathering and what it
means to women during holidaysto make the meals, and the
points of discussion would havebeen you know what they were
(02:31):
dealing with and issues theywere struggling with, and it
would have been this naturalprogression of sharing wisdom.
My parents moved away from ourextended family when we were
fairly young, so I never got achance to gather with wise women
and hear their experience,their life experience and their
shared advice and their love.
I got to see my aunt, my mom'ssister, a few years ago and it
(02:54):
just felt so like she knew somethings you know, and she would
just lay them out there and dropthem like little pearls and I
was like, oh, oh, I miss this somuch and how I didn't learn to
do that.
So I'm learning how to do thatand how uncomfortable it feels
and how do we make itcomfortable.
And I wanted to just touch onwhat makes me feel uncomfortable
(03:15):
was, you know, living with avery difficult spouse for years
and years and not wanting toinvite anyone into my home to
share, to make meals, because hewould come by and just drop
ugliness into the middle of it.
He would make a comment aboutthe mess of the house, or you're
(03:36):
too loud, or whatever else thatwas so.
It wasn't safe.
You know I lived in a not safeenvironment for over 20 years,
so it never felt safe to inviteprecious souls into the home
that I was trying totraumaticstress syndrome, but I'm getting
healed from that too, the kindof healing that can only come
(04:07):
from God.
So I'm looking forward to thesewise women gatherings around
the kitchen table.
Tiffany Windsor (04:13):
Here's the question I have, because I did
talk about a friend of ours whois going through a challenge
right now and trying to make thedecision of separation and
divorce and such, and her notbeing honest with us, not saying
that she has to do that but notreaching out to us that she's
holding it all in.
So let me reframe that I'm notsaying this in any sort of sense
(04:36):
of accusing her of anything.
How do we set the model so thatwomen will feel comfortable to
reach out to the other womenthat they know that they can
trust?
How to make a safe?
Mary Koning (04:49):
space.
I think there's rules around it.
I like Brene Brown's vault.
You know it goes in the vaultand we don't share it with
anyone else.
And if we do share that, we keepthat sweet soul anonymous.
And who knows what we mightlearn by sharing a part of the
story or something.
And I do that.
I keep friends anonymous if Iknow I'm in the presence of
(05:10):
another wise woman just to seeif we can share and come to some
help for this one that needs it.
Also, sharing my humiliationI've been humiliated.
It's not a point that anyonecan use against me any longer.
I wouldn't share in the pastbecause that would be a weapon
to be used against me.
(05:31):
But if you remember, my word ofthe year last year was warrior
and I'm battle scarred andbattle ready.
So prayerfully I asked the Lordthat I'm protected from all of
that.
I have a funny story.
My sister-in-law has a storyshe likes to bring up to me kind
of every time I see her and Ihaven't seen her so it hasn't
come up often, but she happensto be an ex-sister-in-law.
(05:51):
But we all went to Las Vegasone time and I had just had
LASIK surgery, so my eyes werenot like 100% or what they would
be in a normal day, and we hadcoffee after dessert at this
beautiful restaurant.
It was so fun I was using somedessert topping in my coffee
instead of the cream, becausethey were all in the same kind
of pots and it was just the bestcoffee ever.
(06:19):
Because of that accidentalblessing mistake, and she would
just always kind of make a jokeof it, like bring it up almost
every time and I was wonderingwhy that bothered her so much.
And I honestly think it was notanother woman who had another
woman's back and so she was justshowing me with who she was to
try and get me to wobble, get meto not stand firm on my feet,
and I just kind of laugh it offas, oh, that doesn't work.
But does that make her feelpowerful?
(06:40):
I don't know.
She thinks it does.
I think she thinks it does.
Right, but it doesn't, but itdoesn't, and maybe the first
time she brought it up she gotthe reaction she wanted.
That brings me around a littleto manipulation, and there's
some intentional manipulationthat I experienced in my
(07:01):
marriage and there's someunintentional manipulation that
some friends and family areshowing us.
And how much room do I givethem to use the manipulation
without feeling they'reoverstepping their boundaries?
And so I'm finding the balancein that.
I think all that to say thatI've made friends with my
humiliation, and it's a word theLord uses in his Bible.
It's called humbling us, and Idon't know anybody that likes or
(07:24):
wants to be humbled.
But I am able to be humbledfrom a more teachable, loved
spot when I know how loved I amand that's an area the Lord's
working with me and that doesn'tchange His love for me and it
makes it a safe place to behumbled.
Tiffany Windsor (07:40):
That's beautiful.
While you were talking, Ilooked up the definition of
humiliate because I know whatthe feeling is.
It reads to cause someone tofeel a loss of pride, dignity or
self-respect.
We're the ones that have tostand strong in our pride and
our dignity and our self-respect, and it is total manipulation.
(08:01):
If someone is trying tohumiliate us, there's no purpose
for it, because it only has tobe for them trying to feel that
they're superior to us in themost negative way, that the
enemy would want to work,because there's nothing in that
description that tells methere's no God to that.
So if, when we recognize that inthat moment and we were talking
(08:24):
about that person trying to usethat story over and over again,
I love to turn things aroundand make fun of the story.
It's like, oh, I use that allthe time.
It was the best mistake I evermade and I'm always sweetening
my coffee with that now so thatit helps to diffuse, it takes
their power away from thatmoment.
Or it's oh, I'm going to figureout a way to package that and
(08:45):
sell it.
That's where my mind goes islike, how can I diffuse the
purpose that they're trying touse this against me to turn it
into a really positive, powerful, fun way to hopefully keep them
from ever saying that to meagain.
Mary Koning (08:59):
Well, thank you, wise woman.
So when wise women gather, thisis what they would tell me.
So I would go to them and you,thank you very much, and say,
yeah, this weird thing happenedand it would just happen as
we're making the meal, and thenI would be equipped for the next
time and I love that diffusion.
That's one tool I use, and onetool I'm trying to learn how to
(09:20):
use is just to remember.
It says more about them andwhere they are and what they're
trying to control than it doesabout any part of the story or
me.
It's really all about them.
And I have another friend whosaid something like this example
of the story with the coffeecreamer doesn't fit.
But this friend was saying,well, I'll own that part of it.
I'll own that part of it.
(09:40):
Like if someone's trying tohumiliate me with something I
did wrong and it's very possibleI did something wrong and to
just say, well, I'll own my partin it, or I'll own that one
part in it that I maybe didn'thandle well, but it, or I'll own
that one part in it that Imaybe didn't handle well, but it
always takes two right, right.
Tiffany Windsor (09:55):
And I need to find when you talk about owning
part of it.
I'm not going to ever own thehumiliation that somebody is
trying to put on me becausethere has to be another word.
It's like I'll own my error inthat, I'll own my part in
something, but you cannot sayanything that's going to take
away my dignity and self-respect, because that comes from the
Lord and no one can take thataway from me.
Mary Koning (10:18):
Amen, it's not an option.
I didn't get that lesson.
Growing up, I didn't know thatwas an option because of just
how I was raised.
Where I came from, was thepeople pleasing aspect of it was
allowing my boundaries to becrossed all the time and had to
give up myself to make the otherperson comfortable.
And as I've learned to put myboundaries in place, knowing
(10:41):
that I don't have to give up anyof myself in order to be in
relationship with people, we allhave to behave without boundary
busting and that is actuallylove without going over
someone's boundaries.
And the more we talk about it,the more we understand what that
is and the more we can loveeach other better, because God
(11:01):
never wanted to bust ourboundaries.
He came to give us free willand an open hand and an open
heart, and it's up to us to takehis extended hand and be in
relationship with him, inhealthy relationship, and I have
just learned about that overthese past few years.
Tiffany Windsor (11:21):
So, when we go back to talking about gathering,
there's lots of differentlayers to this, and so it's very
important for women to taketime to gather just with other
women and other women that aregoing to help you grow.
Other ways to gather is inprayer and, mary, you and I have
(11:44):
certainly experienced that overthese few years that we've
known each other the power ofwhen two or more and we have a
lot of just twos, just the twoof us and offering prayer for
each other and each other'slives and each other's families.
I am seeing what the prayers ofthe faithful do and I have
(12:08):
never experienced anything aspowerful as that.
Mary Koning (12:13):
And I think it comes from Mark Batterson's draw
the circle.
So we're drawing the circlearound the prayers and we're
actually seeing results.
I mean, how miraculous is it?
We were just talking about thekey to that is where two or more
are gathered.
But we're also praying forothers.
We're praying for ourselves.
I noticed that I'm praying formyself and it's just kind of
(12:35):
this circle that doesn't goanywhere.
But God wants us to have ourprayer life be a super highway
for it to go somewhere.
And so we're on this journeyand I love Mark Batterson's Day
16 in Draw the Circle, whereit's Lord Surprise Us.
So the wind blows wherever itpleases.
John 3, 8 is what he says, andhe has a family member who says
(13:00):
you can't never, always,sometimes tell.
And that's what we'vediscovered from this blessed
journey of 40 days of prayer andcircling our prayers.
We've seen miraculous thingshappen and I just think that's
all part of the gathering, thewomen gathering.
They would have seen it andthat's what would have motivated
them to keep doing it.
And our modern culture has kindof disintegrated that.
(13:21):
If you think about it, enemy'spretty happy with that.
He's disintegrated the familyand the extended family and we
move to where the job is.
And what is the job?
The money and the ever pursuitof money.
Well, god doesn't need themoney.
He can provide for us what weneed where we need it.
And how do we get back to wisewomen gathering to create a
(13:43):
prayer circle of unbroken praise?
I love that song Circle ofUnbroken Praise.
It's a Christmas song.
Circle of Unending Praise ishow it goes.
So, angels around God's throne.
A circle of unending praise.
But as we have answers toprayers and as we're waiting in
the stillness, knowing God iscoming with an answer that he
(14:06):
has to because he's God, so whatI'm hearing and what I'm
learning as we talk aboutgathering is that one of the
first commitments we need tomake is to gather together.
Tiffany Windsor (14:17):
Honestly, as I look back over the past months,
mary, it's when you invited meinto the 730 prayer group in the
morning that I really startedseeing the shifts, because I
wasn't just getting down on myknees for myself, just sitting
back and waiting to go.
Okay, lord, what are you goingto do?
Because this is what I think Ineed.
(14:38):
It is so incredibly powerful towatch the healing in everyone
else, and I know, if the Lord ismoving in everyone else's life
like that, that my prayers willbe answered.
And it's nothing that I haveexperienced before as I've come
into my prayerfulness with theLord.
(15:00):
It's really shifted things forme.
So, making the commitment ifyou don't have a prayer partner
or prayer group that you cangather with every day, please
reach out today to someone elsethat you know that you can start
doing that with on a dailybasis.
Mary Koning (15:18):
And join us.
We pray 730 Pacific Time everymorning and you're part of that.
We're praying for you, circleSister.
Tiffany Windsor (15:26):
I hope I'm not jumping around too much today,
mary, but sometimes, as we do,we go down one track and it's
like, oh wait, we want to talkabout this or that.
One of the sayings that you sayto me that means so much is the
prayers of the faithful.
Can you explain that a bit more?
Can you explain?
Mary Koning (15:42):
that a bit more.
When I don't have the words,when I'm trying to grasp onto a
lifeline or a rescue ring, and Ijust go to my prayer warriors,
friends I know that will prayfor me, that even if God isn't
answering those prayers which Iknow he hears them and you know
(16:03):
the saying it's either yes or noor not yet.
And so knowing God hears thesefaithful friends helps me lay it
down for a second or a minuteor an hour or a day.
So knowing you have some prayerwarriors, the prayers of the
faithful, those full of faiththat know God hears them and is
(16:26):
answering in his timing, is sopowerful for me.
Because I don't have words.
There's the groanings of thespirit that we read about in the
Bible, so I don't even knowwhat to pray.
So I ask for prayer.
And maybe that's you, dear one,where you don't know what to
pray, but you have so much onyour heart and in your life
that's going on right now, or asick child or an unhealthy
(16:48):
spouse, that we don't need toput words to it.
The Lord knows what's happening, but we just can't sit in it
alone.
And that's the whole point ofwhat we're doing here is we're
not supposed to sit in it alone,that we need each other, and
that's what's been missing.
So we need to create thesefaithful prayer groups of two or
more, wherever we are, and tonot be afraid to say what's on
(17:11):
our heart and to know that we'vecreated a safe space, that it's
not going to go anywhere togather, to discuss and to pray
with each other and wait for aresponse.
You know, in draw the circle,day 16 is about surprise me.
So we want to be surprised,lord, with your answers to
prayer, and how it starts is bebrave enough to say it, just be
(17:34):
brave enough to ask for thoseprayers.
The next step is then pray 730.
In the morning we'll be praying, and then the third step is to
watch for those miracles and toknow that the Lord has to do it
because he's the one who has allthe power.
It's not up to me, it's not upto my prayers.
Tiffany Windsor (17:53):
That's just a part of the process just a
couple days ago I was at a localbusiness where I buy
wonderfully made organic soupsand the owner was there and I've
known him for many years and Iactually first met him when I
was invited into a men's prayergroup to join them at a business
(18:15):
that I worked for.
It wasn't this exclusive club,it just no woman had ever asked
to join.
So this gentleman owns thisbusiness and I was in buying and
we were talking about he'sbought a piece of property out
of state and how the Lordanswered way beyond his prayers,
of what unfolded in tradingsome property.
(18:35):
And I had so much soup that Icouldn't carry it all.
So he said let me help you outto your car.
And when we got to the car andwe loaded this into my car, he
said may I pray for you?
We stood there in this parkinglot, it was raining, he was
holding my hands and he waspraying for me because I'm
looking forward to making a move.
(18:56):
You never know when this isgoing to happen, so keep your
heart open.
I had no thought of what peoplewho are driving by may have
thought in this moment of ourprayer until afterwards, when it
was all done.
It's like oh, my goodness, whatjust happened.
So please be open to thesebeautiful moments of praise and
(19:17):
prayer coming and don't beafraid when this happens.
And, mary, this is one of myfavorite sayings from you is
buckle up, buttercup, becauseyour life is going to change.
Mary Koning (19:36):
I love that story so much because the time to pray
is now and the time to acceptprayer is always, and that he
extended it to you.
And how brave you are, goinginto a men's group, you know,
and just saying, oh, here I am,busting boundaries in the best
way possible and, um, as youwere telling the story, I just
kept hearing hope, hope, thehope of the Lord.
The hope of the Lord isn'tdependent on our circumstances,
(19:57):
it's not dependent on my divorcestatus, it's not dependent on
my age, or whether my kids cometo see me or not, or how lonely
I am or not.
It's the hope of the Lord.
So I'm going to end us withback in the book of Jeremiah and
this verse I wrote this everyday for years on end.
So I pray this over all of us,for I know the plans I have for
(20:21):
you, declares Yahweh, plans forwelfare and not for evil, plans
to give you hope and a future.
And that hope isn'tcircumstantial and it's not
dependent on me or you.
It's just there.
So I pray hope over you, sweetsister, in Jesus name, amen.
Announcer (20:41):
Amen.
Thank you for joining us fortoday's podcast.
For more information, go toInHisCirclecom.
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help us get the word out aboutIn His Circle.
Thank you and, dear friends,have a blessed day.
Welcome to In His Circle, from women for women.
We're here to help you findpeace in knowing you are in
God's hands.
Our goal is sharing the Word ofGod in simple conversations.
We're here to help you thriveevery day.
And now, here is your host.
Tiffany Windsor (00:18):
Good morning.
I'm Tiffany Windsor and I'mMary Koning, and today, Mary, we
want to talk about gathering.
So, as always, I want to turnit over to you so that you can
start us off in prayer.
Mary Koning (00:30):
I would love that.
I was just thinking about howGod loves us, and there isn't
anything that we can do toseparate ourselves from his love
.
It's not even the love of aparent for a child.
It's so much more unmovable,unfathomable, unmeasurable.
And He tells us this inJeremiah 31, 3, - I have loved
(00:53):
you with an everlasting love.
Therefore, I have continued myfaithfulness to you.
Full of faith, Lord, we acceptthat love and this joy that
we're feeling today, which is anoverwhelming presence of you
and your love we want for everywoman.
So please communicate thatthrough our voices to these very
hearts that need it, in Jesus'precious name, amen.
Tiffany Windsor (01:16):
Amen, thank you .
What brought us to today'stopic is we, a few weeks ago,
talked about in our You ArePowerful podcast.
I said to Mary oh, I feel likewe got off track a little bit.
We talked about women'sgathering.
I shared my experience of beingin Mary's kitchen when she was
preparing jam for a recipe forour e-zine and how important
(01:40):
that moment was to me and Mary.
I want to create more of thosemoments.
I want to gather more.
There's so many differentlevels that we, as women, can
gather.
We talked recently aboutimposing perhaps on other people
in their space and for me, I'mvery open.
I wish I had more bedrooms.
(02:01):
I would welcome a lot morepeople of like mind into my
space.
Mary Koning (02:07):
I'm going to turn this over to you and let you
decide where you first want totalk about gathering and what it
means to women during holidaysto make the meals, and the
points of discussion would havebeen you know what they were
(02:31):
dealing with and issues theywere struggling with, and it
would have been this naturalprogression of sharing wisdom.
My parents moved away from ourextended family when we were
fairly young, so I never got achance to gather with wise women
and hear their experience,their life experience and their
shared advice and their love.
I got to see my aunt, my mom'ssister, a few years ago and it
(02:54):
just felt so like she knew somethings you know, and she would
just lay them out there and dropthem like little pearls and I
was like, oh, oh, I miss this somuch and how I didn't learn to
do that.
So I'm learning how to do thatand how uncomfortable it feels
and how do we make itcomfortable.
And I wanted to just touch onwhat makes me feel uncomfortable
(03:15):
was, you know, living with avery difficult spouse for years
and years and not wanting toinvite anyone into my home to
share, to make meals, because hewould come by and just drop
ugliness into the middle of it.
He would make a comment aboutthe mess of the house, or you're
(03:36):
too loud, or whatever else thatwas so.
It wasn't safe.
You know I lived in a not safeenvironment for over 20 years,
so it never felt safe to inviteprecious souls into the home
that I was trying totraumaticstress syndrome, but I'm getting
healed from that too, the kindof healing that can only come
(04:07):
from God.
So I'm looking forward to thesewise women gatherings around
the kitchen table.
Tiffany Windsor (04:13):
Here's the question I have, because I did
talk about a friend of ours whois going through a challenge
right now and trying to make thedecision of separation and
divorce and such, and her notbeing honest with us, not saying
that she has to do that but notreaching out to us that she's
holding it all in.
So let me reframe that I'm notsaying this in any sort of sense
(04:36):
of accusing her of anything.
How do we set the model so thatwomen will feel comfortable to
reach out to the other womenthat they know that they can
trust?
How to make a safe?
Mary Koning (04:49):
space.
I think there's rules around it.
I like Brene Brown's vault.
You know it goes in the vaultand we don't share it with
anyone else.
And if we do share that, we keepthat sweet soul anonymous.
And who knows what we mightlearn by sharing a part of the
story or something.
And I do that.
I keep friends anonymous if Iknow I'm in the presence of
(05:10):
another wise woman just to seeif we can share and come to some
help for this one that needs it.
Also, sharing my humiliationI've been humiliated.
It's not a point that anyonecan use against me any longer.
I wouldn't share in the pastbecause that would be a weapon
to be used against me.
(05:31):
But if you remember, my word ofthe year last year was warrior
and I'm battle scarred andbattle ready.
So prayerfully I asked the Lordthat I'm protected from all of
that.
I have a funny story.
My sister-in-law has a storyshe likes to bring up to me kind
of every time I see her and Ihaven't seen her so it hasn't
come up often, but she happensto be an ex-sister-in-law.
(05:51):
But we all went to Las Vegasone time and I had just had
LASIK surgery, so my eyes werenot like 100% or what they would
be in a normal day, and we hadcoffee after dessert at this
beautiful restaurant.
It was so fun I was using somedessert topping in my coffee
instead of the cream, becausethey were all in the same kind
of pots and it was just the bestcoffee ever.
(06:19):
Because of that accidentalblessing mistake, and she would
just always kind of make a jokeof it, like bring it up almost
every time and I was wonderingwhy that bothered her so much.
And I honestly think it was notanother woman who had another
woman's back and so she was justshowing me with who she was to
try and get me to wobble, get meto not stand firm on my feet,
and I just kind of laugh it offas, oh, that doesn't work.
But does that make her feelpowerful?
(06:40):
I don't know.
She thinks it does.
I think she thinks it does.
Right, but it doesn't, but itdoesn't, and maybe the first
time she brought it up she gotthe reaction she wanted.
That brings me around a littleto manipulation, and there's
some intentional manipulationthat I experienced in my
(07:01):
marriage and there's someunintentional manipulation that
some friends and family areshowing us.
And how much room do I givethem to use the manipulation
without feeling they'reoverstepping their boundaries?
And so I'm finding the balancein that.
I think all that to say thatI've made friends with my
humiliation, and it's a word theLord uses in his Bible.
It's called humbling us, and Idon't know anybody that likes or
(07:24):
wants to be humbled.
But I am able to be humbledfrom a more teachable, loved
spot when I know how loved I amand that's an area the Lord's
working with me and that doesn'tchange His love for me and it
makes it a safe place to behumbled.
Tiffany Windsor (07:40):
That's beautiful.
While you were talking, Ilooked up the definition of
humiliate because I know whatthe feeling is.
It reads to cause someone tofeel a loss of pride, dignity or
self-respect.
We're the ones that have tostand strong in our pride and
our dignity and our self-respect, and it is total manipulation.
(08:01):
If someone is trying tohumiliate us, there's no purpose
for it, because it only has tobe for them trying to feel that
they're superior to us in themost negative way, that the
enemy would want to work,because there's nothing in that
description that tells methere's no God to that.
So if, when we recognize that inthat moment and we were talking
(08:24):
about that person trying to usethat story over and over again,
I love to turn things aroundand make fun of the story.
It's like, oh, I use that allthe time.
It was the best mistake I evermade and I'm always sweetening
my coffee with that now so thatit helps to diffuse, it takes
their power away from thatmoment.
Or it's oh, I'm going to figureout a way to package that and
(08:45):
sell it.
That's where my mind goes islike, how can I diffuse the
purpose that they're trying touse this against me to turn it
into a really positive, powerful, fun way to hopefully keep them
from ever saying that to meagain.
Mary Koning (08:59):
Well, thank you, wise woman.
So when wise women gather, thisis what they would tell me.
So I would go to them and you,thank you very much, and say,
yeah, this weird thing happenedand it would just happen as
we're making the meal, and thenI would be equipped for the next
time and I love that diffusion.
That's one tool I use, and onetool I'm trying to learn how to
(09:20):
use is just to remember.
It says more about them andwhere they are and what they're
trying to control than it doesabout any part of the story or
me.
It's really all about them.
And I have another friend whosaid something like this example
of the story with the coffeecreamer doesn't fit.
But this friend was saying,well, I'll own that part of it.
I'll own that part of it.
(09:40):
Like if someone's trying tohumiliate me with something I
did wrong and it's very possibleI did something wrong and to
just say, well, I'll own my partin it, or I'll own that one
part in it that I maybe didn'thandle well, but it, or I'll own
that one part in it that Imaybe didn't handle well, but it
always takes two right, right.
Tiffany Windsor (09:55):
And I need to find when you talk about owning
part of it.
I'm not going to ever own thehumiliation that somebody is
trying to put on me becausethere has to be another word.
It's like I'll own my error inthat, I'll own my part in
something, but you cannot sayanything that's going to take
away my dignity and self-respect, because that comes from the
Lord and no one can take thataway from me.
Mary Koning (10:18):
Amen, it's not an option.
I didn't get that lesson.
Growing up, I didn't know thatwas an option because of just
how I was raised.
Where I came from, was thepeople pleasing aspect of it was
allowing my boundaries to becrossed all the time and had to
give up myself to make the otherperson comfortable.
And as I've learned to put myboundaries in place, knowing
(10:41):
that I don't have to give up anyof myself in order to be in
relationship with people, we allhave to behave without boundary
busting and that is actuallylove without going over
someone's boundaries.
And the more we talk about it,the more we understand what that
is and the more we can loveeach other better, because God
(11:01):
never wanted to bust ourboundaries.
He came to give us free willand an open hand and an open
heart, and it's up to us to takehis extended hand and be in
relationship with him, inhealthy relationship, and I have
just learned about that overthese past few years.
Tiffany Windsor (11:21):
So, when we go back to talking about gathering,
there's lots of differentlayers to this, and so it's very
important for women to taketime to gather just with other
women and other women that aregoing to help you grow.
Other ways to gather is inprayer and, mary, you and I have
(11:44):
certainly experienced that overthese few years that we've
known each other the power ofwhen two or more and we have a
lot of just twos, just the twoof us and offering prayer for
each other and each other'slives and each other's families.
I am seeing what the prayers ofthe faithful do and I have
(12:08):
never experienced anything aspowerful as that.
Mary Koning (12:13):
And I think it comes from Mark Batterson's draw
the circle.
So we're drawing the circlearound the prayers and we're
actually seeing results.
I mean, how miraculous is it?
We were just talking about thekey to that is where two or more
are gathered.
But we're also praying forothers.
We're praying for ourselves.
I noticed that I'm praying formyself and it's just kind of
(12:35):
this circle that doesn't goanywhere.
But God wants us to have ourprayer life be a super highway
for it to go somewhere.
And so we're on this journeyand I love Mark Batterson's Day
16 in Draw the Circle, whereit's Lord Surprise Us.
So the wind blows wherever itpleases.
John 3, 8 is what he says, andhe has a family member who says
(13:00):
you can't never, always,sometimes tell.
And that's what we'vediscovered from this blessed
journey of 40 days of prayer andcircling our prayers.
We've seen miraculous thingshappen and I just think that's
all part of the gathering, thewomen gathering.
They would have seen it andthat's what would have motivated
them to keep doing it.
And our modern culture has kindof disintegrated that.
(13:21):
If you think about it, enemy'spretty happy with that.
He's disintegrated the familyand the extended family and we
move to where the job is.
And what is the job?
The money and the ever pursuitof money.
Well, god doesn't need themoney.
He can provide for us what weneed where we need it.
And how do we get back to wisewomen gathering to create a
(13:43):
prayer circle of unbroken praise?
I love that song Circle ofUnbroken Praise.
It's a Christmas song.
Circle of Unending Praise ishow it goes.
So, angels around God's throne.
A circle of unending praise.
But as we have answers toprayers and as we're waiting in
the stillness, knowing God iscoming with an answer that he
(14:06):
has to because he's God, so whatI'm hearing and what I'm
learning as we talk aboutgathering is that one of the
first commitments we need tomake is to gather together.
Tiffany Windsor (14:17):
Honestly, as I look back over the past months,
mary, it's when you invited meinto the 730 prayer group in the
morning that I really startedseeing the shifts, because I
wasn't just getting down on myknees for myself, just sitting
back and waiting to go.
Okay, lord, what are you goingto do?
Because this is what I think Ineed.
(14:38):
It is so incredibly powerful towatch the healing in everyone
else, and I know, if the Lord ismoving in everyone else's life
like that, that my prayers willbe answered.
And it's nothing that I haveexperienced before as I've come
into my prayerfulness with theLord.
(15:00):
It's really shifted things forme.
So, making the commitment ifyou don't have a prayer partner
or prayer group that you cangather with every day, please
reach out today to someone elsethat you know that you can start
doing that with on a dailybasis.
Mary Koning (15:18):
And join us.
We pray 730 Pacific Time everymorning and you're part of that.
We're praying for you, circleSister.
Tiffany Windsor (15:26):
I hope I'm not jumping around too much today,
mary, but sometimes, as we do,we go down one track and it's
like, oh wait, we want to talkabout this or that.
One of the sayings that you sayto me that means so much is the
prayers of the faithful.
Can you explain that a bit more?
Can you explain?
Mary Koning (15:42):
that a bit more.
When I don't have the words,when I'm trying to grasp onto a
lifeline or a rescue ring, and Ijust go to my prayer warriors,
friends I know that will prayfor me, that even if God isn't
answering those prayers which Iknow he hears them and you know
(16:03):
the saying it's either yes or noor not yet.
And so knowing God hears thesefaithful friends helps me lay it
down for a second or a minuteor an hour or a day.
So knowing you have some prayerwarriors, the prayers of the
faithful, those full of faiththat know God hears them and is
(16:26):
answering in his timing, is sopowerful for me.
Because I don't have words.
There's the groanings of thespirit that we read about in the
Bible, so I don't even knowwhat to pray.
So I ask for prayer.
And maybe that's you, dear one,where you don't know what to
pray, but you have so much onyour heart and in your life
that's going on right now, or asick child or an unhealthy
(16:48):
spouse, that we don't need toput words to it.
The Lord knows what's happening, but we just can't sit in it
alone.
And that's the whole point ofwhat we're doing here is we're
not supposed to sit in it alone,that we need each other, and
that's what's been missing.
So we need to create thesefaithful prayer groups of two or
more, wherever we are, and tonot be afraid to say what's on
(17:11):
our heart and to know that we'vecreated a safe space, that it's
not going to go anywhere togather, to discuss and to pray
with each other and wait for aresponse.
You know, in draw the circle,day 16 is about surprise me.
So we want to be surprised,lord, with your answers to
prayer, and how it starts is bebrave enough to say it, just be
(17:34):
brave enough to ask for thoseprayers.
The next step is then pray 730.
In the morning we'll be praying, and then the third step is to
watch for those miracles and toknow that the Lord has to do it
because he's the one who has allthe power.
It's not up to me, it's not upto my prayers.
Tiffany Windsor (17:53):
That's just a part of the process just a
couple days ago I was at a localbusiness where I buy
wonderfully made organic soupsand the owner was there and I've
known him for many years and Iactually first met him when I
was invited into a men's prayergroup to join them at a business
(18:15):
that I worked for.
It wasn't this exclusive club,it just no woman had ever asked
to join.
So this gentleman owns thisbusiness and I was in buying and
we were talking about he'sbought a piece of property out
of state and how the Lordanswered way beyond his prayers,
of what unfolded in tradingsome property.
(18:35):
And I had so much soup that Icouldn't carry it all.
So he said let me help you outto your car.
And when we got to the car andwe loaded this into my car, he
said may I pray for you?
We stood there in this parkinglot, it was raining, he was
holding my hands and he waspraying for me because I'm
looking forward to making a move.
(18:56):
You never know when this isgoing to happen, so keep your
heart open.
I had no thought of what peoplewho are driving by may have
thought in this moment of ourprayer until afterwards, when it
was all done.
It's like oh, my goodness, whatjust happened.
So please be open to thesebeautiful moments of praise and
(19:17):
prayer coming and don't beafraid when this happens.
And, mary, this is one of myfavorite sayings from you is
buckle up, buttercup, becauseyour life is going to change.
Mary Koning (19:36):
I love that story so much because the time to pray
is now and the time to acceptprayer is always, and that he
extended it to you.
And how brave you are, goinginto a men's group, you know,
and just saying, oh, here I am,busting boundaries in the best
way possible and, um, as youwere telling the story, I just
kept hearing hope, hope, thehope of the Lord.
The hope of the Lord isn'tdependent on our circumstances,
(19:57):
it's not dependent on my divorcestatus, it's not dependent on
my age, or whether my kids cometo see me or not, or how lonely
I am or not.
It's the hope of the Lord.
So I'm going to end us withback in the book of Jeremiah and
this verse I wrote this everyday for years on end.
So I pray this over all of us,for I know the plans I have for
(20:21):
you, declares Yahweh, plans forwelfare and not for evil, plans
to give you hope and a future.
And that hope isn'tcircumstantial and it's not
dependent on me or you.
It's just there.
So I pray hope over you, sweetsister, in Jesus name, amen.
Announcer (20:41):
Amen.
Thank you for joining us fortoday's podcast.
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