Have you ever found yourself lost in the endless cycle of people-pleasing, only to realize you've been neglecting the one person that matters most – you? Our latest episode takes you on a journey of self-discovery with Mary, a former people-pleaser and empath who shares her inspiring transformation. We're peeling back the layers of self-betrayal and discussing how embracing our God-given strength can reshape our lives. Through stories of personal growth and faith, you'll learn the art of self-support and the importance of striking a balance in relationships. This heartfelt conversation is a reminder that fulfillment and peace are within reach when we find our footing in faith.
We also take a step back to appreciate the peace that comes from life's simpler aspects. In a world that moves at breakneck speed, we delve into the joys of reconnecting with faith, family, and the comforts of home. From the soothing rhythms of prayer to the warmth of the kitchen, we explore how these elemental practices can offer solace and purpose. We'll share a prayer together, a moment of collective reflection on the beauty of a life lived with intention and presence. Whether you're seeking tranquility or looking to reinforce your connection with your community, this episode serves as an invitation to rediscover the profound joy in the basics that tether us to what truly matters.
You can find all our episode information at https://www.inhiscircle.com and join us on Instagram and Facebook. You can also watch our podcast episodes on YouTube - Please join our community!
Episode Transcript
Welcome to In His Hands podcast from women for
women.
We're here to help you findpeace in knowing you are in
God's hands.
Our goal is sharing the Word ofGod in simple conversations.
We're here to help you thriveevery day.
And now, here are your hosts.
Tiffany Windsor (00:18):
Good morning.
I'm Tiffany Windsor and I'mMary Koenig.
And Mary, today I want to talkabout.
You are powerful, and this iseveryone who is listening to
today's podcast.
I am speaking to you.
You are powerful.
Do you want to talk about whatthat means to you?
(00:41):
I know earlier I was talkingabout my vision of it, but I'm
going to go ahead and let you goand I'm going to just fill in
some gaps and just see what theLord wants me to say today.
Mary Koning (00:51):
Okay, but I really would love to hear the list of
words, because words are sopowerful and how you're speaking
them over us that I would likefor you to just whatever comes
to mind.
Tiffany Windsor (01:04):
Okay, because I know you started writing words
down earlier and I don't alwaysremember what the Lord's telling
me.
But, dear sisters, you are love, you are strength, you are
grace, and when you let all ofthat come to you through God,
that is true power, that is notfalse power, that is not power
(01:27):
that's coming through fear andmisinformation.
When you stand in God's powerMary and I have talked about
this before it's such adifferent feeling of not having
to use our own energy and musterup our own strength.
There is this amazing strengththat the Lord gives you through
(01:49):
a physical feeling, gives you inthe words that you speak.
I just want to see, mary, if wecan figure out how to
articulate that to all of ourbeautiful sisters who are
listening today.
Mary Koning (02:04):
And thank you for that Felt like a blessing that I
accept and I am coming from aplace of recovering people
pleaser and an empath.
We like the word empath becauseit sounds kinder, but it
basically is lying.
I was lying to myself and notpresenting who I truly was in an
(02:27):
effort to make the other,whoever that might be happy,
giving away pieces of myself inorder to please the other person
and ending up in a situationwhere they never could possibly
ever be pleased by anything Icould offer, because that empty
space can only be filled withJesus.
So if you're there, I know whatthat feels like and the way out
(02:52):
is through Jesus, the way, thetruth and the life.
And when I don't speak in my Godgiven strength, I am empty and
weary and tired and my voicegets strident and screeching.
I believe lies and I don'tstand in my strength that I know
(03:14):
the truth and I've spoken thetruth and I just stand and wait.
In that I start to see people'suncomfortability and try to
make them comfortable and that'sthe old me and the new me is a
new creation and the Lord talksabout that.
I love that.
We're all a new creation inChrist and it was more of a
becoming, and it took a longtime.
(03:36):
I arrived all at one time.
It was a really long journeyand that journey was through the
Valley of the Shadow and I feellike I'm just coming out the
other side, which is the hope Iwant to offer you, that there's
joy and there's light and wewill all get there, and we're
trying to be wise women holdinghands, offering you wisdom to
(03:57):
try and help you through some ofthese valleys.
Tiffany Windsor (04:02):
Mary, I thank you so much for speaking your
heart's truth today becausewe've had this discussion.
I've been independent for avery long time and sometimes I
forget about the tools that Ihave learned over the years that
just come to me.
A second nature now, and one ofthe things I wrote down that
(04:22):
you talked about, which isprobably in our God's toolbox is
being comfortable in theuncomfortable.
You have to reach this momentof not being the people-pleaser,
not caring what you thinkothers may be thinking of you,
that they may or may not bethinking of you.
(04:43):
We create this dialogue in ourhead of thinking well, I have to
act a certain way and I have todo this, and I need to do that
when the other person may noteven be thinking about you or
concerned about you, and webecome so concerned about them
but we don't love ourselvesfirst.
So we're giving away ourGod-given power in that moment
(05:06):
of trying to please others thatcould care less.
Mary Koning (05:10):
It's so true it's self-betrayal.
I betray myself in order tolive someone high.
They're not even asking me todo that, but my body knows and
my soul knows I'm betrayingmyself.
And that was a tough one is toknow that I have my own back,
and that's a wise woman calledNatalie Hoffman.
(05:31):
She's like if nobody else hasyour back, I have my own back,
and I've started to tell myselfthat in the mirror and it's
really made a difference,because I'm my best when I'm for
me first, and I can only dothat through the strength of
Christ.
And I love what you said aboutindependent, being independent
(05:52):
and how dependent I was on otherpeople's happiness or
unhappiness with me.
That made my day or it crushedmy day.
There's too much of God's workfor us to do for us to be
crushed by someone else's badday or fact that they haven't
(06:12):
done the hard work to go fromimmaturity to maturity and done
the hard work to becomeemotionally intelligent and sit
with our thoughts and processthem, and to not take them out
on others but to take them tothe one who knows what to do
with them, which is.
Tiffany Windsor (06:31):
Jesus, what brings to mind for me when you
talk about this is I'm very mucha giver, I am very much a
person who tries to be amediator, and I think those are
really great qualities foranyone to have.
But when the other person orpeople don't meet you halfway,
(06:55):
that's a mistake that I havedefinitely repeated in the past,
and I can be honest and saythat I still do where I give
more than the other person does,and that doesn't serve either
of us.
And so in those moments, I needto be certain that I'm
listening to what the Lord isasking me to say or do, rather
(07:17):
than me stepping in and allowingthem to stay in their
dysfunction.
Today at church, pastor wastalking about lifesavers and
rather than tossing them thatsafety net they're not going to
grow in that moment and that'swhere I have to really fine-tune
and figure out is it mespeaking or is it the Lord
(07:37):
speaking so that it will helpthem grow, as opposed to just
throwing out this momentarylifesaver to get them through
this moment where they're notgoing to grow?
Mary Koning (07:49):
It's discernment, isn't it being discerning?
And a wise woman knows to praybefore she speaks, which, oh, I
have my hand up.
I'm guilty of that.
So, so much.
But I'm learning and I'mgrowing and I like that God is
telling us the road we'vetraveled is wisdom to share.
(08:10):
Those hard lessons were not fornothing.
And we're learning and growingtoo, every single day of our
lives, and that has helped mejust embrace that, knowing I'm
not done and it's okay to makemistakes and I will probably
make mistakes every single dayof my life and to just get over
that, get over the humiliationand roll with it.
(08:32):
I like to roll with it, andhumiliation is such a lie as
well.
Who's humiliated?
Well, me.
But then we go back to whatyour wisdom was Nobody cares,
just me.
So that has really helped me.
And have a sense of humor.
That's helped me too.
Tiffany Windsor (08:50):
That's good.
A sense of humor is reallyneeded, because we do need to
laugh at our seriousness.
Sometimes I can be so seriousand I do want to be more playful
and joyous and, mary, I say weneed to get out and play more.
Mary Koning (09:10):
That sounds like fun.
And when did we stop having fun?
When did we make life such aslog and so much work?
Tiffany Windsor (09:20):
I honestly believe that that's the enemy
who's brainwashing us intobelieving there's a certain way
that we need to live if we needto be serious about how we make
a living, and that is not thetruth.
And there's a lot more womenthat I am seeing on social media
who are definitely getting thismessage, who are understanding
(09:42):
about getting back to the basicsin their relationship with God,
in their relationship withtheir husband, in their raising
their children, and I am sohopeful.
Mary Koning (09:52):
I love that back to basics Because it is really
simple if we keep it simple andyou know that saying kiss, keep
it simple stupid.
God really wants us to live asimple life, but we're being
bombarded by everything and youand I have talked about my issue
with scrolling that if I justneed a little downtime I go to
scrolling.
But that's not downtime.
(10:13):
That is actually a physicalattack on my piece that I'm
inviting that I need to justfull on, stop and capture that
time back and do somethingsimple, like something with my
hands, or go for a walk or makesomething I love to cook and I
feel so peaceful when I cook andI think that's a blessing from
(10:34):
God.
Tiffany Windsor (10:35):
Here's an experience that comes to mind
that I had with you recently,mary, where you were making jam
and I had the opportunity to sitacross from you at the kitchen
counter and watching you gothrough all of these steps and
we had conversation as we dowhenever we get together, we
start chatting and to watch youstir and to see the power in the
(10:57):
moment of you in your creationand us talking about some very
important topics, and it was avery moving moment for me and I
thank you for that.
Mary Koning (11:09):
That was so beyond lovely, because I've made a lot
of jam over the years, but neverwith someone.
So thank you for sharing thatwith me.
Heavenly Father, we come beforeyou trusting and knowing that
you are here with us, that youare delighted with us, that we
(11:29):
seek you, as it says in Psalm 34, verse 4, we seek the Lord, and
you answered us and youdelivered us from all our fears,
and our fears sometimes keep usfrom trusting that your plan is
good.
But we trust you.
I ask that you are present withall of our circle sisters.
Jesus' name, amen.
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