April 10, 2025 • 60 mins
What if your body isn't your enemy, but your oldest, most loyal companion? Singer-songwriter Tessa Violet joins us for a soul-stirring conversation about transforming our relationship with our physical selves through her new healing anthem "My Body's My Buddy."
Tessa shares the profound origin story behind the song—a retreat exercise where she wrote letters from the perspective of her body, realizing that while people come and go throughout our lives, our bodies remain with us from birth until death. This revelation challenges the fitness industry's common approach of "hating yourself into a better body," offering instead a compassionate alternative: your body loves you and experiences everything alongside you, including pain.
The conversation expands into fascinating philosophical territory as we explore whether we are our bodies or simply in our bodies, and what constitutes the essence of self. Tessa explains how meditation helps her create space between herself and her thoughts, describing the mind as "a tool and a buddy, but more mischievous than my body."
We also dive into the healing power of community and vulnerability, especially for men who often feel they need to "fix" themselves before seeking connection. Through a powerful desire exercise, we demonstrate how simply expressing what we want can be both revealing and liberating.
Wrapping up this meaningful exchange, Tessa treats us to a beautiful live acoustic performance that perfectly captures the themes of our discussion: self-acceptance, healing, and the grace to begin again. Listen in and perhaps discover a new way to view your oldest, most constant relationship—the one with your own body.
You can find Tessa's music on Youtube and most streaming platforms.
You can find us on social media here:
Rob Tiktok
Rob Instagram
Liam Tiktok
Liam Instagram
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Liam, Liam, Liam.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Hey, rob, rob, rob, Rob, rob Rob.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
You're like Beetlejuice If I say your name
three times, you appear.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You just said it like six times.
Does that mean I go back?
I don't know.
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
So, liam, yes, pretend you didn't know me.
Pretend you didn't know me.
I know you want to like, I mean.
I don't have to.
Okay, you see me in the gym,I'm benching 300.
I've got my headphones on.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Wait hold on Kilograms or pounds.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Oh, definitely kilograms.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Okay, Gosh just make sure?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yeah, you had to make sure that's fair.
Don't use no freedom units uphere.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Listen, I had told people to guess my height in a
video and they're like 190centimeters.
I'm like I don't know what thefuck that is.
Are you saying I'm tall orshort?
We only use that's actuallypretty darn close to your height
.
Yeah, I saw a bunch of 190.
I was like that sounds like itcould be tall.
I don't fucking know.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
So you see me in the gym.
What music do you think I'mlistening to?
Abba, I mean, yes, but ABBAit's a tie between Abba or
Disney songs.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Like you know, You're Welcome from Moana, or
something like that.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
That's impressively close, much closer than most
other people would guess.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Okay, if I had to guess, I would definitely guess
metal.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, I've definitely had people that have been
scared to approach me Like oh,that guy's hardcore.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Every metalhead I know, though, is so nice.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Oh yeah, but yeah, if you look at a lot of my
playlists, in the first fivesongs you will probably find our
guest today, Tessa Violet.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Wait, that was her intro this whole time.
That's what that was.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
What a hoodwink.
Stop.
Oh my God, I'm honored.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So why don't you introduce yourself?
Because we suck at introducingpeople.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Great, I love introducing myself, thank you,
hi everybody.
My name is Tessa Violet.
I am a singer-songwriter.
You might know me from my mostpopular song, which is crush and
it goes.
I can't focus on when he saidget done and um.
My newest song, which I thinkis the reason I'm here, is
called my body's my buddy.
Um, but maybe it's not, I don'tknow anything.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Well, I hope it's the reason you're here, cause I've
got it queued up in the back.
Okay, great, great.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Um, yeah, and right now.
Sorry, let me turn my mic down.
Right now I am working on arecord of like acoustic songs of
Healing Mantras and my Body's.
My Buddy is the first song fromthat record.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
But what healing?
Okay, so Healing Mantras.
Healing Mantra for me iscartoon themes from the 90s.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Which cartoon theme from the 90s are you putting on
the album?
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Sailor Moon oh shit, fuck.
Oh, sailor Moon's a good choice, though sailor moon's great.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Here's actually, this is the thing you need to know
about me.
I literally love digimon somuch and if people ever people
like to compare digimon andpokemon, I understand why and
I'm always like there is nocomparison.
Pokemon is the superior show,superior narrative, for a
thousand reasons.
However, one thing I willconcede is that, literally, the
Pokemon theme song is the besttheme song of all time.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It can go with anything.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, I remember being eight years old and my
friends and I would be likeyelling it from our living room
as we listened.
I want to be the very best.
I'm not going to sing all day.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
But man, it's just, whatever it was, it hit hard so
good.
Okay, it hit hard so good.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay, so, speaking of healing, and my Body is my
Buddy, that is the reason webrought you on is because you
put out a song that is bodypositivity and forgiving and
loving yourself.
And I guess, since I mentioned,I have the clip, maybe I'll
start with that, do it?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
From my birth to my grave, every step I've taken
clip.
Maybe I'll start with that.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Do it my body, oh, so I just have to say I have my
(04:12):
volume turned up, because Liam'susually really quiet in these
recordings, and so I'm now deaf.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I know that happened to me real quick.
I was like, oh, let me turnthat down just as fast as I
possibly can.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
All right.
So now that we can't hearanything, let's continue the
interview.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, so like music, okay, so I think we should start
there.
So that's something.
I've heard of this before.
So people generally take likewood or whatever, they turn it
into boxes and then that createslike sound and they pair that
with like, like the larynx thatalso creates sound, and then
that like harmonizes together ina certain way.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
(04:48):
I feel like I'm on the righttrack.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Yeah, no, that sounds right to me.
I'd agree with that.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So where did the inspiration from this come?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
from All right.
So what you must know about meis that I am sober from alcohol
for seven years now.
I got married two years ago andI was thinking what do I want
to do for my bachelorette party?
Because, like the idea of doingthe traditional out on the town
as a sober person, it's notlike, oh, I can't be around
(05:17):
alcohol.
It's just that it doesn't soundvery interesting.
I'm like it just doesn't soundlike a celebration of me and
what I'm interested in.
I have this friend, julia Nunes,who runs these coaching
retreats that are all about thepower of your yes and no and
connecting more deeply to desire, and I reached out to Julia and
(05:40):
I was like, julia, do you thinkyou would run a retreat for my
bachelorette party?
And she's like, yeah, if youcan convince everyone to do it.
Literally, I got 12 of myfriends to do it.
It was so awesome.
And one of the exercises in thisretreat was an exercise where
you write a letter from theperspective of your body.
(06:01):
Like you give your body a voiceand you write a letter from the
perspective of your body to you.
You take a little break, thenyou read the letter and you
write back from you to your bodyand then you repeat that whole
exercise one more time.
So it's two letters each backand forth for total, and the
thing that came up for me in myletter was this idea that I'm
(06:21):
like oh wow, like you know,people will like come and go
through your life.
You know your parents will die,new people will come in, but
from the moment I'm born until Idie, I will have this lifelong
companion of my body and mybelief is that my body loves me
(06:43):
and my body is quite playful andfunny and spirited and maybe I
could take certainly I couldtake better care of my body.
But also I'm like I am verydisconnected from my body.
So I wanted to write this songcalled my Body's my Buddy.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
It's something we see a lot in the health industry
that people will start theirhealth journey in a place of
hating themselves.
They want to hate themselvesinto a better body.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, I was going to say a lot of people probably
what you just said.
You know my body loves me.
I would hazard a bet that manypeople would not feel that way,
that they either hate their bodyor their body hates them, or
they feel trapped in their body.
That's something I've heardmany times.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, I mean, I think that's really common and I
hesitate to tell someone thathow they feel is wrong.
I'm like I don't know, maybeyour body hates you, sure, like
I don't know.
Like maybe your body hates you,sure, um, but when I look at
the reactions to this song youknow a lot of the like messages
(07:52):
and comments I've gotten frompeople was just like I've
literally never considered thisidea that my body, that I am not
my body, and that I am not likein a prison of my body, and
like, especially especially thisidea that, like you know, when
your body has pain, instead offeeling your body is inflicting
pain upon you, your body is withyou in this journey, also in
(08:14):
pain.
Like you are together in thisexperience.
This is a belief structure thatis beneficial to me as I walk
through my life.
I am not saying that it needsto be right for everyone, so if
you hear this and you think, oh,that doesn't work for me, shrug
it off.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
I like that.
That's an interesting thoughtthat your body's, if you're
experiencing pain, it's nottrying to harm you, it's also in
pain and doing it along withyou.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yes, and pain is telling us something.
I'm really out of my depth.
I'm not a scientist here,that's okay, we aren't either.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
We can just talk like we're experts.
It doesn't matter.
This is a podcast.
That's how social media works.
Yes, that's how podcasts work.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I am an expert now.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
I have knee pain sometimes and I know for me,
when I'm experiencing that kneepain in my body, my body's
telling me that I'm not movingmy knees enough.
So I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I've always found that like I'm in, because, okay,
you know, I've always heardpeople say like oh, people in
larger bodies or in smallerbodies, and like maybe it's just
a semantic thing.
But I've always found that sortof interesting because I'm like
to me, my body is me, am I?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
in my body.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
And that's more of a philosophical debate I feel like
Do you feel you are your body.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Tell me more about that.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I don't feel like I'm in my body.
I feel like I am my body andthat's just.
I don't really have anexplanation for that.
Besides, like, hey, everythingmy body touches, I feel that's
me.
It's all connected, the brainand the body, and all of it
comes together.
The knee bones connect to thesomething bone Head bone Knees
(09:55):
connect to the head, as we allknow.
You're the expert here Exactly,this is a podcast and I am a
straight white man, so I willassert myself as a expert in
everything.
That is what that is for.
But yeah, no, and it's not likeI felt like people say like, oh
, someone in a larger body orsmaller body, that's wrong.
So I've just never said itbecause it always just sounded a
(10:18):
little just odd, just like oddto me.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I don't know, yeah, interesting.
I have a question for you.
When I think of myself, thereare many parts to me.
There is my body and there isalso my mind which.
I also do not feel that I amLike.
I don't think that that is me,the essence of Tessa, and I'm
(10:41):
curious for you do you feel youare your mind?
Is your mind a part of yourbody?
Is your mind your brain?
What's your belief structurearound this?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah.
So the mind and the body, Iwould say, are connected, of
course, and to me I am both ofthose things, okay.
So this is where you get intothe philosophical debate.
Let's say, a brain transfer wasa possible and you had your
brain transferred into anotherperson, another body.
(11:12):
Right, they remove their brain.
Your brain goes in there, areyou?
You're still you.
I'm like, I am still me becausemy mind is there, but I'm
missing part of me because mybody's not there anymore.
There, but I'm missing part ofme because my body's not there
anymore.
So, like I am still me, butlike if somebody, somebody's
brain went into my body, right,then I kind of I also sort of
(11:36):
don't feel like it's me anymorebecause my, my mind isn't there,
right, it's just my body, youknow.
So I guess I, I feel like I'mmore prone towards saying like
my mind is mostly me and it'sconnected to my body.
So therefore it is me, butmostly I am my mind.
Yeah, yeah, cool.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
We'll have to trigger a Freaky Friday situation in
Texas.
What's the other?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
one, they pee into the fountain.
That one seems easier.
I remember when you came upwith that, yeah, we did like a
little dumb collab.
We're like, yeah, we peed intothe same fountain switch bodies,
and then, you know, do a littlevideo.
I don't remember that movie butlike, yeah, so it's that's.
I feel like, yeah, just more ofa philosophical thing, like you
kind of debate, and then youhave the soul.
Is there a soul?
What is the soul?
(12:16):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
what do you think?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
soul.
I I I don't really have strongfeelings towards a soul.
Does it exist Possibly?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
The most important soul, in my opinion, is Soul
Train, soul Train.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I like New Soul the song.
That's a good song.
I forget the artist, who that'sby, but that's a really good
song.
Look that up.
But yeah, I don't have strongfeelings for it.
Are there actually souls?
I can't even define what a soulis, so how am I going to say it
exists when I don't even knowexactly?
I'm definitely one of thosepeople that's like if I can see
(12:51):
it, if I can touch it, it's real.
If I can, if you can measure itover and over and you have the
same result, then it's real.
Outside of that.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
It's all a little.
Could we possibly define thesoul as the overlap of the
experience between your mind,your body, the various parts of
you interesting.
That is a broad definition, sothat's just but I mean soul
itself is kind of a broad, it isI guess it's.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
It narrows it down somewhat, because if you don't,
if you don't do that, it's justeverything about you, or it's
not.
Like I don't do that, it's justeverything about you or it's
not.
I don't even know what you.
So, yeah, so the connectionbetween your mind and your body
and everything that you gothrough is your soul.
Is that part of the soul?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Can I tell you what I think the soul is?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah, go, absolutely Okay.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I'm not saying I'm right and I'm not even saying
I'm going to believe this.
When you listen to this podcastthat comes out a week later I
don't know You're catching meMonday, april 7th, at 9.30am.
To me, the soul is like life,energy.
What is that special?
0.1%, whatever that?
Sorry, I just got anotification.
(14:06):
Let me turn this off.
This will be too distracting.
Like what makes us alive andthat is soul to me.
I, you know I'm interested inthis idea that, like energy,
cannot be created or destroyedand I feel that that is sort of
where soul exists.
To me I think it's fun.
One of my let me just say oneof my best friends from high
school, like one of my closestfriends does not believe in the
soul at all, and we love eachother so much.
(14:27):
Sometimes I'm like Rose stopsaying I don't have a soul and
she's like I don't think.
I have a soul either and I'mlike, but it's fun to believe in
the soul.
Oh, I, 100% agree.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
See, that's my problem.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I'm ginger, I don't have a soul, I and she's like
well, do you choose what youbelieve, or you do just happen
to believe it and I'm like, okay, that's a great question.
I'm like I will say aboutmyself that when someone tells
me something they believe, Ilove to try it on, to, like you
know, experience it in my mind'seye and to be like, ooh, do I
(14:58):
agree with this belief?
And sometimes I do, andsometimes I'm like, no, but cool
, I love that we all believedifferent things.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I love that you get your ideas challenged.
I think that's kind of, youknow, important in some way,
just to hear people who havedifferent thoughts on things.
I took in at Ohio State.
There was a class called Deathand the Meaning of Life, which
was one of my favorite classes.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Liam, you cut out.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I'm missing, whatever you're saying At Ohio State I
took a class Death and theMeaning of Life Wait we missed
you.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
You cut out.
Say it all again.
You took a class called Deathand the Meaning of Life, death
and the Meaning of Life.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah, at Ohio State it was probably one of my
favorite classes I've taken andit basically just kind of goes
through each of either thereligions or famous philosophers
and their ideas on like what,why, why are we here, what are
the big questions, why do weexist, what?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
All these different things, andthat was fascinating and all of
them just have very different,you know, opinions on what life
(15:58):
is, what we do, do we have asoul?
Do we not have a soul?
And that's just kind of one ofthose things and I'm like it's
interesting, but also like Ijust kind of shrug and I go, I
don't know, I don't know, butit's fun to hear other people's
thoughts on it.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
You tried it on and it wasn't for you.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Yeah, what do you guys do?
Do you have a practice aroundconnecting to your body, and
what does that look like for you?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I don't have a practice around connecting to my
body.
I have a practice aroundconnecting to my mind.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Oh, interesting, tell me about that.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
And that's actually with music Particularly.
If I'm like feeling anxiousstuff like that, I will sit down
with usually the guitar.
I will sit down with usuallythe guitar, and I'm not somebody
(16:51):
who's good at guitar in theclassical sense.
I don't know how to play songs,I don't know what a well, I
know some of the chords, but, um, it's an exercise of just
plucking a string, listening tothe, and it's almost like a
puzzle game for me Finding whatstring sounds good together.
And it's just, it turnssomething on in my brain and it
(17:16):
gives me a focus and it gives methe sound of, it gives me the
soothingness and I start to beable to hear myself better.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I don't think that, like I don't think there's
anything else to that.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I know that I left a pause there like I was going to
say something else.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I was like yeah and and uh, I used to say it's
someone who's like I kind ofjust see my, my body, my mind is
me, my body is me, I for me,it's more about just self-care
and just making sure I take timefor myself as someone who has
like a one-year-old and like I'mdoing social media and my wife
and I'm trying to like juggleall these different things and
(17:53):
there's a lot of stuff poppingup and I'm like I need to just
take time.
I've done that in the pastwhere I haven't, and then it
just kind of boils up and I justlike lash out and I just get
very angry at the littlest Ican't find now stupid cutting
out internet.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
We missed you at the end.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Yeah, I know, I saw it pop up.
That's stupid.
I take time for myself becauseI can, otherwise that I can get
mad at the littlest thing.
I can't find the remote andthen I flip the hell out, right.
I think a lot of people havefelt that way.
So, in order to just take timefor myself, to just do something
I enjoy, to just relax and Idon't know watch jackass or
whatever dumb thing that I like,and just take that moment to
(18:31):
just, you know, like okay, I,this is just for me, I'm not
worried about anything else.
I think that's really important.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So what about yourself?
What do?
Speaker 3 (18:44):
you do Tessa, all right, I'm in a practice right
now, a one-month container,where I am waking up every
morning and I'm starting my daywith 15 minutes of meditation,
which is the.
If you saw it, I made a littlevomit face, I was like yeah,
(19:05):
because I feel, rob, I feel waytoo connected to my mind, I feel
um and quite disconnected frommy body.
So and and also to me yeah andum, you know, within and and I
want to say on this podcast,literally, I started this
morning, so I am the beginner ofbeginners, I don't know
anything, but here's what cameto me in my first practice of it
(19:27):
.
Um, you know, I am sittingthere, I am aware that I am a
beginner, that I'm not doing itperfectly.
I get like fidgety, and Inoticed myself getting fidgety
and then I try and center againand what I'm doing for 15
minutes is I'm trying to, as Ibreathe out, focus on my breath
out, focus on the little pauseand then focus on my breath in
and focus on the sensation of mybreath, like moving in and out
(19:49):
of my lungs, moving in and outof my nose, and like that is
where I am bringing the focus ofmy attention, to this feeling
of breath, instead of theconstant like internal monologue
that I have going chattering onsomething.
Do you guys have an internalmonologue?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
oh yeah, all the time people's.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I don't have my, so have you ever seen those uh toy
monkeys that have the symbolthat like clang together?
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yeah, that's a monkey clanging no.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I don't really like.
A lot of times I just zone outand I'm just like thinking about
nothing or it's just like youknow I'm planning Cause I have,
you know, that social media likea plan in the next video.
Often I will just kind of moutha lot of the lines I have
planned for a video and my wifewill be like, what are you
planning on for this video?
And I'm like, and then I'lltell her because she knows when
I like mouth words and stufflike that, and I'll have like
gestures in my face because I'mlike practicing what I'm going
(20:45):
to do.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
I'm the same way.
My husband will be like whatare you thinking about now?
Yeah, exactly Right.
You're like, oh, let, what kindof suspicion are you having?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
So this is my next dick joke I'm going to make in
my upcoming video or somethingstupid like that Swear and then
so like yeah, it's either justlike really just nothing going
on, or like you know, somethinglike that, and I'm actually like
acting it out, I don't yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
On the mention of morning meditation, I will say,
now that it's warming up andthere's not quite as much snow
on the ground here, I have beenwanting to get up and just go
outside, get some sun, takePippin for a walk and just have
a nice quiet 15 minutes.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
That's the way to start the morning.
That's the best way to startthe morning.
You can have it, Rob.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
I'm telling you, it's a little relaxing.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, yes, so I have a mentorin this and my mentor's like how
do you want to do it?
I'm like I want to do 15minutes every morning and he's
like, okay, can I be honest withyou?
I'm like, yes, and he's likemost people fail at that goal I
like that it's like I reallyrecommend something easier to
start and I'm like what's easierthan 15 minutes?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
that's where we start with diet, though people are
like and like exercise.
I'm going to work out threedays a week and then we're like
hey, how about one day?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, and he's like what?
What I recommend is you shoulddo three minutes of meditation
five times a day.
So just um, you're going to setyou know a thing in your
calendar.
However, you want to do it andyou're gonna be like, oh, it's
meditation time, and then you'rejust going to take three
minutes.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Was that your notification?
You got like 30 minutes ago,meditation time yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
So you know, but I sat with that.
I'm like, okay, I will do thatas well, but there's something
about the dedication of gettingup for the morning.
I'm like, I think I for me, formy personality type, I, I at
least want to try and I'mwilling to fail if I can't stick
with it, but anyway, so I'mmeditating, you guys, I'm up at
6 am, I'm meditating and I hearmy thoughts saying, you know,
(22:45):
something like I'm bored, I'muncomfortable, I can't wait
until this is over, or, honestly, not even about meditation,
about something totallyunrelated.
And then I notice myselfthinking and I say with my
internal monologue I see you andI feel I have this moment where
I can see my mind as somethingthat is outside of myself.
(23:06):
My belief around my mind is thatmy mind is a tool and a buddy,
but more mischievous than mybody.
My body's like really kind oflight and love.
My mind is a little bit of atrickster and I'm like, oh my
God, I keep thinking that I amyou, but like hello, like you
are a tool that I can either umuse to create beautiful things,
(23:29):
um, or I can let totally run me,like my mind is always running
If I'm not um dedicated to thepractice of being aware of this
running.
And that was a cool moment tobe like I see you.
And then you know that fadesand then it comes up again.
I notice it again and I say Isee you, but it's like, as I'm
(23:49):
getting to the you in myinternal monologue, it's like
just fading to nothing, becauseeven saying I see you is using
my mind speaking of using yourmind as a form of expression,
obviously, um, well, I shouldsay it seems like you do a fair
amount of expression throughyour song.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yes, I mean, you've got uh what no?
No song, my god was sort oflike a sexual awakening.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yes, we're waking up, we're being sexy, we're being a
bad bitch.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
You got.
You Are Not my Friend.
I guess we could just saythat's about a bad relationship,
yes, and not about teenpregnancy.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yeah, and not about hating teen moms.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, so how much of your music is just you
expressing yourself?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
All of it, 100%.
All of it, a hundred percent.
All of it my belief.
Have you ever read A Big Magicby Elizabeth Gilbert?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Nope.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Ooh, you guys are my creative people.
I think you'd like this book.
Or maybe not, I don't know.
Anyway, elizabeth Gilbert isthe author that did Eat, pray,
love, and this was one of theirfollow-up books.
It's a guide.
It's a guide, it's ascaffolding for belief around
creativity.
If you don't feel like readingan entire book, she also did a
TED Talk on it like 12 years ago, and, to be honest, the TED
(25:08):
Talk covers all the content inlike 20 minutes.
But it's about this belief thatideas for creative ventures
exist outside of you.
You don't invent them.
You are open enough to listento them and your job as an
artist is to channel that ideafrom this ethereal realm into
Sorry, we're going to be reallyesoteric today, I hope that's
(25:30):
okay Channel it into thisdimension, as it were, and you
have lots of tools to do that.
One of the tools is the mindLike for me, when I write a song
, I begin by just trying to movemy fear out of the way, because
if I'm at the beginning of asession, often I will feel what
(25:50):
if nothing good comes?
What if I don't write anything?
What if I feel bored?
And I become aware of thosefears and I just try and really
move them out of the way.
And I say this is just mypractice today.
I'm practicing being openenough to bring something
through.
And in the beginning I do feelwhen I write a song I'm pulling
(26:12):
on my lived history, but thereis also a sense of pulling
something from the air.
And then, once you have likesome ideas down, you can start
to use the tool of your mind torefine, to make it all make
sense, to ask yourself, like doI like this?
Like okay, I'm going to judgeit now.
We don't judge when it's comingthrough.
(26:34):
When it's coming through, we'rejust opening it up to let
something in.
But once we're editing, we'reputting on our judgment cap.
We're being like what aboutthis works?
What about this is not working?
Yet I totally lost my train ofthought here.
Guys, I'm so sorry.
I'm like what?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
was the question, but I'm a huge fan especially as
somebody with chronic depressionanxiety, all that fun stuff of
finding a way to expressyourself through creativity.
Yes, and do you have any tipsfor people that might want to
start expressing themselvesmusically?
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Musically.
That's a great question, rob.
Thank you for asking me.
Is this for someone who's neverplayed before, or maybe someone
who has like a little bit ofpractice?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Let's start with somebody who's never played
before.
Maybe somebody wants to pick upan instrument and they're like
okay, I really feel like I couldexpress myself through this
thing.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Yes, great Love this, yeah, they got a didgeridoo.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
And now they're like what do I do?
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I've got a didgeridoo hell yeah, I have literally so
many like sound bath typeinstruments in my apartment and
the didgeridoo is one that Idon't have anyone who's
listening to this podcast.
When me and Rob popped on both,does the video go out somewhere
?
I don't even know that we bothhave these frame drums in the
background of our, I'm like, ohmy gosh, we're connected, okay.
(27:57):
So, just like everything I'vespoken of today, the ability to
practice creative music is alsoa practice.
So the first day you do it, youhave to go into it with the
attitude of I am a beginner, I'mjust learning For me, attitude
(28:18):
of I am a beginner, I'm justlearning For me.
When I decided I was going tostart learning guitar, I had a
vision of myself six months fromnow, and by vision, you guys, I
don't mean anything esoteric, Ijust mean I imagined within my
mind's eye it's not that deepthat I was going to learn to
play some songs and people weregoing to be impressed by me.
And I was very motivated bythat concept and I thought, even
if no one believes in me nowand my ability to do this, I
(28:42):
believe in myself and I willlearn a little bit at a time,
and every minute I spendpracticing is one more minute
toward this goal.
I love guitar, I recommendguitar, but I think guitar is
sometimes too hard for peoplewho are new, new, new, because
there's a bit of a hurdle thatyou have to be willing to build
(29:03):
up the calluses on your fingers,which is painful.
You go through a blister phase.
So ukulele is a great stringedinstrument that can get you
going.
People like to make fun ofukulele.
People think it's a beginner'sinstrument, but that's because
most people's experience withukulele is only ever having
heard.
I heard people will say I don'tlike ukulele, I'm like that's
not true.
You just don't like listeningto beginners play music which
(29:25):
that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
I mean anybody that says they hate ukulele.
I just say, go watch Izzy.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Yeah, exactly, I'm like.
Ukulele is a beautifulinstrument.
You just are only familiar withnew people.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I've always been curious.
Just because you're a musician,what's up with the banjo?
That always seemed fun.
That always seemed like a funinstrument to play.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Oh my gosh.
I mean, I don't play it, butmaybe you do in the future.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
That always seemed fun.
If I was speaking betweenguitar and banjo, I'm going
banjo.
That just it's fun.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Banjo.
That just.
It's a.
It's a fun.
Banjo is fun.
You can have it.
I had a banjo for a while.
My ex had one.
She never really played it.
She left it around for me toplay.
She finally took it back, so Idon't have it anymore.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
Yes, you can have it.
Okay, so sorry.
Back to this, this practice.
The best advice I was evergiven about songwriting is that
inspiration is for amateurs.
If you are going to wait, wait,wait until you feel inspired,
you will find that you are notspending a lot of time
practicing.
For me and my music practice, Iblock time out in my day.
It doesn't have to be every day, you know, like y'all saying,
(30:27):
with working out, maybe you juststart with once a week you know
, like you said with yourmeditation yes, start small.
Start small, but you giveyourself a framework of time
where you say this is the timethat I am practicing being
creative and inspiration mayalways come later, but then when
inspiration comes, you willhave the practice that you need
(30:49):
to pull that idea in better.
I like that.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Do you write songs, Rob?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I am at the point where I am starting to try
Because, as you said, I did thepractice first and now that it's
starting to form in my head, Ihave some of the skills to
actually start putting ittogether.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Yes, I love that.
I love that.
Can I tell you guys a desire Ihave?
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Of course, oh, I'm sorry, no, sorry, okay, I do not
consent.
Of course, oh, I'm sorry, no,sorry, okay, well, I do not
consent no, consent is not given.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I kind of want to do like a workshop with people.
That is around helpingbeginners start to write songs.
But I literally have noinfrastructure on that, but it's
like a someday dream but I'mlike, yeah, I think I'd be good
at that.
I do believe anyone can write asong.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I'm not saying everyone can write a hit song,
but but can we be honest, like alot of times, the hit songs,
are they the best songs?
Are they even good songs, likethe hit songs?
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Or do you just say Around the?
Speaker 2 (31:50):
World 1,800 times and then it gets a gajillion views.
Not that I dislike that song,I'm not trying to hate on daft
punk here, like.
But you know, like sometimesthe pop songs that hit the the
charts maybe aren't the the mostwell like written or thought
out or you know that sort ofthing they're usually following
a formula.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Yeah, okay, well to to offer a contrary opinion.
Um, there are some hit songsthat I personally think are
stupid, if I'm being honest,however, if a hit song were
actually easy to write, everyonewould do it and let me tell you
(32:29):
writing a hit song isincredibly hard, even if it is
just saying around the world amillion times, because there is
something about that song thatfeels so fucking good you're
just like ah right, millions ofpeople wouldn't listen to it if
it wasn't like quote, unquote.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Good, what is good?
Is it good if it gets a lot ofviews because you know listens,
then yeah, it is a good song,yeah, or does it get a lot of
listens because it makes peoplefeel good?
There's a, there's a lot tothis.
That's what you know, like Imean.
But like they're maybe not themost deep songs that make you
really like right, exactly thatmake you, that are thought
(33:07):
provoking Let me maybe put itthat way.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Yes, for sure, for sure.
In general, like big, big songstend to be songs that make
people feel good and, in fact,simple.
That make people feel good and,in fact, simple things make
people feel good and maybethere's something to that.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Everybody you say gangnam style, open whatever
it's open, gangnam style, dancearound and you get 18 kajillion
views nobody even knows thelyrics I don't know the lyrics.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
I still listen to it I've still never seen that music
video oh, really wow.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I watched it just because I felt like I had to.
After a trillion views, I waslike, all right, well, let me,
you know, I gotta, I gotta checkI have I'm pretty sure it got
foisted on me my husband justwalked in, hi scooty.
I'm doing a podcast right nowhi dante rob says hi, liam does
not say hi I don't say hi, whatI will will say can I tell you
what I've gotten into, that Ienjoy Fidget toys.
(33:58):
I've really enjoyed that whichones?
Speaker 3 (34:01):
And?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
why?
Usually the little spinners.
I like anything that like thelittle fidget spinners.
I'm like 10 years late to theparty on this, but like I don't
know.
There's something I just enjoywhere I kind of just zone out
and there's just something liketwirling around or spinning or
going up and down or whatever itis and I'm like, yeah, this is
kind of nice where I'm just likenot really thinking about
anything but there's just alittle spinny doodad I enjoy.
(34:23):
I enjoy that.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
I like it.
Yes, a little simple thingMakes us feel good.
It's the simple things in life,right?
Yes, I mean, I think so.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Smell the roses, spin the thing in your hand not okay
.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Okay, this is a, since you're saying this, sorry
total.
Okay.
Well, I have two questions.
I want to check in on one.
I know we're at an hour.
How long are your podcastsnormally is?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
it okay if I keep talking shit, or until we're
done, yeah is it okay to go alittle bit longer?
Speaker 3 (34:49):
oh yeah, or do you?
Do you have?
Speaker 1 (34:51):
to go.
It's okay if you do an hour 40minutes, I believe yeah okay,
great.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Also part of me is I'm like maybe talk about the
take out all that part where Isaid all that stuff aboutophobia
.
I don't know if I just did agood job representing it.
I want to.
It's difficult to speak to itwhen it's like my lived
experience is from theperspective of a thin, white
former model body.
Anyway, this is what I wasgoing to say, which is not
(35:19):
related to that at all, I do youfeel?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yes, I feel.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
No, I don't feel.
Oh shit, that's a problem.
I should get this checked out.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
I'm so sorry.
This is a total like unrelatedthing at all and I'm like how do
I make this?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
related to what I was just saying.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
We go for it, that's what we do okay, great, um, I
feel that, okay, if we'respeaking outside of all the like
political, societal, likeinfrastructure problems, we have
in this country one problem,but besides all that, um, I
really feel that we need morecommunity, which I think
(35:57):
everyone knows and is talkingabout.
But I am like what does thatlook like in a real way?
How can we foster actualcommunity?
I'm interested in this idea ofhealing.
What does healing look like?
I think a lot of people it's acommon belief, maybe, especially
for men Are both of y'all men.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Let me check.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Okay, great, so maybe you can speak to this.
But I believe that there is abelief for especially men that
they feel that, okay, I will goout and make more friends, I'll
make more community once I'mlike right with myself, once I'm
fixed, once I you know whatever.
And I am just curious if, infact, there can be more healing,
(36:40):
if you are willing to bevulnerable about who you are
right now.
And does any of what I'm sayingmean anything?
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Can I rant about something I know?
usually it's Liam that rants butI absolutely have a rant about
this about community, becauseone thing I tried to do when,
particularly when starting up adiscord, was I tried to reach
out to other creators and belike, hey, let's merge into this
(37:11):
one big community, bringeverybody together, have a
community.
And I absolutely hate thateverybody always feels they need
to have their own thing,because humans are finite
resources.
A single person is only goingto be part of one or two
(37:33):
communities.
I mean they might have again inthe terms of Discord.
They'll have one or two mainDiscords that they've joined and
then they might have a bunch ofother ones, but if they're
going to talk about how theyfeel or something, they're only
going to do it in one or two ofthose.
They're not going to go toevery single one, and so I hate
(37:56):
that everybody spreads them out.
Every time somebody makes a newdiscord, you are you.
The only way for it to exist isto take from somebody else's
discord, and so we actively arenot building communities, we are
actually spreading thosecommunities out, and I hate it
is something I have always, havealways hated, because I'm
(38:18):
absolutely completely forbuilding bigger communities,
building safe spaces for peopleto talk about what's going on,
bringing people together tovalidate each other and in
shared experiences, andparticularly as a man speaking,
we have that aspect of menaren't allowed to have feelings,
(38:42):
men aren't allowed to ask forhelp and you get into a
community where there's othermen who are sharing their
feelings, asking for help, youare more likely to do that.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Yes, yes, yes.
We look to each other and wesee.
Okay, rob, can I tell you oneof my beliefs?
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Of course.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
I believe this about all people, but especially the
role of the artist.
It is your duty to let theperson that you were as a
seven-year-old, your light shinebefore the world made you feel
embarrassed for being who youare.
It's your duty to let yourlight shine, because when you
give yourself permission to bewho you are, you give everyone
(39:21):
else permission to be who theyare too.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
I like that.
Sorry, I was also burping atthe same time.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
I'm glad there's permission to burp on this
podcast.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
I'm glad there's permission.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
It's funny you bring that up though just because I
was just talking with my wifeabout this and we talk about it
a decent amount because she hasthis feeling as well that we've
lost a sense of community andthat has been a disservice to
the human psyche.
I guess, in a way and the way Ilook at it is from a perspective
of both technology and aspopulations have increased those
(39:56):
two things, I think, havedriven us apart, which is kind
of weird, because like, oh, morepeople should mean more
community.
When in general, let's say, yougo to like a rural area where
there's only like 50 people,they probably all know each
other, right, like they'reprobably there, they, you know,
they know each other's namesomething, whereas if you go to
an apartment complex with athousand people, you maybe know
(40:17):
one person, right, it's justkind of like as you get more
people, you get pushed furtheraway and I think it's just this
loud noise, this din that'sgoing on around you of so many
different things to narrow downon one thing, whereas if you
just have one neighbor in themiddle of fucking nowhere, then
you probably know that oneperson.
You put on top of thattechnology, which is great in so
(40:38):
many ways and as has solved alot of problems.
Of course, like with anything,it's going to create problems
and I think, while we can use itin a in a way to kind of bring
us together things like discordand whatnot, I think it just for
the more so it pushes us apartand we all kind of live in our
own little world with our socialmedia.
(40:58):
And you just swipe and you andyou and you look at what's just
going on with just you and thisphone and that's it.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
I just say that is what I love about living rurally
.
I I hate every other aspect.
I hate the bad internet, I hatethe one hour drive into the
city to go shopping, but I lovethe community aspect and, like
pippin's best friend is the dogacross the alley, I can just go
outside with pippin, bring himacross the alley, let them play,
talk with the neighbors, yeah,and it's great yeah I think,
(41:27):
yeah, those two things, I, I, I,what uh I've talked about, like
I named my whole like channelthe plant slant after uh
learning about the blue zones,and I talk a lot about their
diet.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
But their community is their places, where people
live like into their 90s 100s.
Their community is veryimportant to them and I think
that's an important part oftheir health is they.
They, they absolutely interactwith each other and they talk
all the time.
They do all these things and Ithink that's kind of it kind of
important.
So, you know, if you can findsomething that, whatever it is,
whether whether it's a sport ora religion hey, it could be
(42:00):
Scientology Well, maybe allright, let's maybe not go crazy
but let's not go crazy, yeahlet's not go too crazy here.
I don't want to.
Well, let's me not.
Let me not turn off all theScientologists that we're
listening to.
But you know whatever, you knowcommunity, that you know that
whatever activity or whatever itis that that gives you a sense
of community, I think could bevery important to your health.
Love it.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
I have an exercise that I think it would be fun to
do if y'all are open to it.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Is it first or is?
Speaker 1 (42:25):
it.
No, you have to make us agreeto it first, and then you, you
suck the rest into something.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
I'm going to explain it first and you can decide if
you want to do it.
So this is a bring it all theway back to the end of the
podcast.
This was one of the exercises Idid at my um, uh, bachelorette
party.
Um, and it's a desire exercise.
What it is is we will, I willset a timer for maybe three
minutes, um, and I will ask oneat a time.
(42:54):
So, rob, I'm going to ask youwhat do you?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
want.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
And then you're just going to say anything that you
think that you want, and I'mgoing to say you can have it.
And then I'll say what else?
And then you'll say anythingelse that comes to mind, and
there is no desire too big ortoo small, and we'll do that for
about three minutes, fourminutes, maybe three minutes,
and then at the end I'll say wow, I love your desire, thank you
(43:19):
for sharing, and you'll saythanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Sure, I mean I'm in, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
I don't feel like I felt an enthusiastic yes from
Rob, and that is okay.
We don't have to do it.
Speaker 4 (43:31):
Also, I could go first if you guys want to ask me
sometimes it's easier toexperience someone doing it.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
I love to do this because, um, I don't always know
what I want, and it is ahelpful exercise to be like yeah
, what do I want?
Also, it's a little bitvulnerable to on a podcast
because I'm like what's going tocome up?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
I don't know oh, I mean, we've already embarrassed
ourselves plenty of times great,that's fair.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
Would you like me to go first, and do you guys
actually want to do this?
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Let's do it.
Let's do it Okay.
Speaker 3 (44:04):
All right, Rob, you do it with me.
You're going to ask me what doyou want?
And we're going to go throughit.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
I'm going to say what you want.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
I want a fuller meal.
I'm hungry.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (44:21):
I want to wake up at seven tomorrow to meditate, not
six.
You can have it.
Do I just keep going?
What else I want to do?
Speaker 1 (44:35):
my three-minute meditation after this podcast
and not forget, you can have itand we'll make sure that we
remind you what else I think Iwant to own a home someday.
You can have it, thank you.
That was a hard one, but youcan have it.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
What else?
I want to live closer tofriends.
I want to live within walkingdistance of my friends.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
You can have that, what else?
Speaker 3 (44:58):
I want to have enough money to have a reasonable
retirement.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:06):
I want to be more connected to my body.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:11):
I want to move my knees after this podcast.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
You can have that, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:20):
I want to go on a fun date with my husband, Dante.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I will call him up and make sure it happens.
You can have it, what else?
I want to save more money tospend less money.
I want to spend less money.
You can have it.
What else?
Speaker 3 (45:33):
I want to help people .
Speaker 1 (45:36):
You can have that, what else?
I want to help people.
You can have that, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:39):
I want to put out a beautiful album that is
meaningful to me and to others.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Oh, you're absolutely going to do that.
What else?
Speaker 3 (45:49):
I want less mind chatter.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:54):
I want to move slower .
Speaker 1 (45:56):
You can have it.
How long do I keep going?
Speaker 3 (45:58):
I've got a timer.
We got 45 more seconds.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Okay, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:01):
I want to be more gentle.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:07):
I want to continue to exercise more self-love.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:12):
I want more self-compassion.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:17):
I want to do a going away party before I move.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:22):
I want to call my family more.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:27):
I want to recognize beauty more when I see it.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
You can have the timer up, but you can have that
too.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
Thank you, and then you say I love your desire.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
I love your desire, thank you.
And then you say I love yourdesire, I love your desire,
thank you for sharing.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Thanks for listening.
Oh my gosh, would one of youlike to try it?
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Yeah, Rob, you don't have to Rob.
You seem super enthusiasticabout it.
Speaker 3 (46:45):
Here's what I like about this exercise is that
almost everything that we want.
When I hear you can have it, Irealize, oh, I can have it.
It is literally just aboutsetting my intentions, and the
thing is that you can't haveeverything, but if you decide
this is the thing I want, youcan set forth, make that your
(47:07):
intention and walk toward it,and I think that's powerful and
I think it's helpful sometimesto say that you want something
and maybe you thought you wantedit, but you hear yourself say
it out loud and you think, yeah,actually maybe I don't want
that.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
There are stories we tell ourselves about what we
think we should want, okay, okay, all right, let me get rid of
the mind chatter here.
Speaker 3 (47:26):
Yes, there's three minutes.
There is no wrong thing.
You can say this is not a test,silence is okay, it's okay to
think about it and it's okay tosay something stupid.
There's no judgment.
This is play Rob.
What do you want?
Speaker 1 (47:43):
More friends.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Enough money to repair my truck.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Also enough money to support all the other people
when they're streaming or whenthey need something or something
else.
All that stuff, you can have it.
What else To build a nicebackdrop for videos?
You can have it.
What else To go lay in the sunwith Pippin?
Speaker 3 (48:12):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:15):
A fireplace.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:19):
A fire in that fireplace?
Speaker 3 (48:21):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:24):
A table saw.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
You can have it.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
What else?
A really badass Viking axe.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
You can have it.
What else A better CPU?
You?
Speaker 1 (48:34):
can have it.
What else?
Someone to mow the lawn for?
Speaker 3 (48:36):
me, you can have it.
What else A better CPU?
You can have it.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
What else?
Someone to mow the lawn for me.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:41):
The snow gone so that the lawn can actually grow.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:48):
A hot bath.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
You can have it.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
What else?
Pizza?
I'm really craving pizza rightnow.
You can have it.
What else To find where mymechanical pencil went?
You can have it.
What else To find where?
Speaker 3 (48:58):
my mechanical pencil went.
You can have it.
What else?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
People to remember my birthday this year.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (49:05):
To one day be able to do a charity stream as big as
Scotty's.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (49:14):
Peas I really want peas too On the pizza.
You can have it.
What else?
Peas I really want peas too Onthe pizza, you can have it.
What else I mean?
Maybe on the pizza We'll see Afreshly brewed cup of coffee.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
I need another cup of coffee.
I feel that right now.
Speaker 3 (49:26):
Rob, you can have it and I love your desire.
Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
Thank you for listening.
Speaker 3 (49:32):
Of course, yeah, how's it feel doing it?
I mean, it's okay if you'relike, like it feels stupid and I
didn't like it.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
I liked it.
It was just letting it all outthere.
I don't even remember half ofwhat I said, but that's okay, I
feel lighter.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
I don't remember most of the things I say, so it
works out pretty well.
It's all good.
Yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
The other thing I like about this exercise is that
often I realize that many ofthe things I want are like not
that big, you know.
Speaker 1 (49:59):
Right, like the sunbeam with Pippin Exactly.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Why don't you get your pencil?
Speaker 1 (50:03):
Yeah, I want to know what happened to that pencil
it's a really good pencil.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
It's like I can actually do that right after
this.
I can have that, I have adesire and I can have a desire
you know obtained.
Liam, do you want to try it?
No pressure.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
I try.
I don't Do we need to do threeminutes.
I don't know if I got threeminutes.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
We can do less.
It's whatever you want.
Do you want to?
Speaker 2 (50:25):
give me a minute.
Give me a minute.
I feel like I can do a minute.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
Put him on the clock for three, and if he's done,
just let him be.
Either way, it all works.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
All right.
Well, I want to suggest, ifyou're open to it, maybe a
minute 30, because sometimes youfind good things when you think
you've run out.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
Okay, sounds good.
Liam, what do you want?
I want to make people laugh.
Speaker 3 (50:49):
You can have it.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
What else?
I also want to make peopleworry less about shit they don't
need to worry about.
Speaker 3 (50:57):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 2 (51:00):
I want to travel.
I want to go to other countriesthat aren't Canada.
You can have it.
What else?
I want to travel with my wifeand I want more alone time.
I love my daughter, but we needmore time to ourselves.
Speaker 3 (51:14):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 2 (51:20):
I want to continue learning to ride the unicycle
and be able to do more than justone shorts line you can have it
what else?
I want to be able to add thejuggling into the unicycle,
because I want to be able to doboth at the same time and not
just one, because, yeah, you canhave it, what else?
Uh, a cup of coffee.
Like rob said, I want that too,you can have it what?
(51:41):
else, I need new shorts becauseit's summer coming up and all my
shorts suck when they'refalling apart you can have it
what?
Else, um more funko pops, eventhough I don't need them at all,
you can have it.
What else hiking I want?
I want to go to place.
I want to hike places that havehiking you can have those
places in canada.
(52:03):
No, that's right, I won't travel.
That's good.
I think that's good.
Let's do one more.
Okay, um, I want to um be in amovie, in a comedy, where I also
make people laugh.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
You can have it, Liam .
I love your desire.
Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2 (52:25):
Thank you for listening.
Yes, that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (52:27):
Yes, thanks for doing something weird with me, guys.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Listen, weird's my.
I wish weird was my middle name.
I wanted to make my daughter'smiddle name Danger.
Hear me out here she's on theplayground and she's doing
something dangerous and they saydon't do that, she.
She, she turns to them and goesdon't worry, danger's my middle
name and there's no way you cantell that kid ever get anything
she would have to have like amini recorder that allows her to
play the bond sting.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Oh, you could play like the background well, I give
her a little smartphone.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
She'd have a little smartphone with her and she's
just like a little button andshe could play it at any point.
It's like its own app.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
That would be amazing .
Speaker 2 (53:01):
How cool would that be, come on, I mean, we gave her
the middle name Valentine, andthat's like good.
Speaker 3 (53:06):
Oh, that's so sweet, it's a good middle name.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
We came up with a good middle name.
Speaker 3 (53:18):
But Danger's awesome too, though.
On man yeah, man, ever betterbe careful test and I steal it.
Well, I am all about, like youknow, I don't have any kids, but
I love the idea of like strangemiddle names because it's who
uses a middle name who you?
You?
Speaker 2 (53:26):
rarely ever use like a little spice.
You know that's I mean, I guessI use my middle name all the
time, but I have a spicy middlename my middle name.
My middle name is Violet.
Oh, so it says.
Speaker 3 (53:37):
Okay, I wasn't sure.
Oh okay, okay, that's good.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
I mean see mine's Perry, like who gives a shit.
That's awful.
Speaker 3 (53:45):
Like it's a fine name , but it's a middle name, come
on.
Is it a family name?
Speaker 2 (53:50):
I think it's my uncle .
Like so that's fine, it's cool,but like, I want a fun, I want
a fun middle name.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
It's you give your kids fun middle names.
That's all.
Let me tell you something, liamyou can have it.
Speaker 2 (54:02):
I mean I want to change my middle name to danger
you can't do it.
Speaker 3 (54:07):
You could be liam danger I already.
Speaker 2 (54:09):
I already my last name was hyphenated and I said
that is awful, why would anyonedo that to their kids?
And I changed it.
So I did do that.
Okay, good to know.
Good to know.
Yeah, forget, it's annoyinganyway yeah, I've heard that.
Yeah, it's very annoying.
Don't do that to your kids.
Give them a fun middle name.
Don't hyphenate their last name.
That's the real moral of thestory of this episode.
In moderation all right, good toknow, don't be your worst but
(54:33):
no, okay, maybe we you shouldtell people where to find you
after this and all that goodstuff.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
Yes, hi everybody.
So I am everywhere you can findpeople.
I'm also on Twitch recently,but will you ever see me?
What I want you to know is thatI am working on this beautiful
(55:01):
new record and you will be ableto hear that record probably.
I'll start putting out songsfor it next year and until then,
oh, actually text me.
Oh fuck, I just turned off mytexting thing.
I don't want to pay for itanymore.
Okay, well, I don't know.
My name is Tessa.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Violet.
I'm not there.
Speaker 3 (55:16):
Listen to my music.
Listen to the music.
Speaker 2 (55:18):
Find me where music is found.
Speaker 3 (55:21):
Yeah, Go to YouTube.
The music videos are cool.
Speaker 1 (55:25):
Liam Liam.
Speaker 2 (55:26):
What's your?
Speaker 1 (55:27):
favorite Tessa Violet song.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
My Body's my Buddy.
And that is the answer fromsomeone who only knows one song.
I'm going to go with that one.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
See, that's a good one.
I listened to it.
Speaker 3 (55:39):
Yeah, can I play you a song to finish?
Speaker 1 (55:42):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (55:45):
What I got a guitar right here.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
Well, that's convenient.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
I'm just adjusting the microphone.
I'm also realizing this will bethe first time I sang today, so
here's hoping, guys.
Speaker 4 (55:56):
I have this image in my head I'm on a train going
somewhere that I don't want togo.
To my left is the open airinviting me to jump out on the
hill, but that'd be insane.
It's so much easier to be hereon this train Going somewhere
(56:19):
that I don't want to go.
And besides, what if I get offand find I like the new place
even less?
Knowing this is not enough isenough.
Knowing this is not enough isenough.
(56:45):
I don't like the way it feelsbeing here with you.
I can never tell what's realand what is true, but somewhere
inside my body I am saying Idon't want this anymore.
Once I've heard it, then I'veheard it.
(57:06):
You can't stop me now.
I will honor and protect her.
I will not allow myself tosquander one more day accepting
less than she deserves, tosquander one more day accepting
less than she deserves.
Knowing this is not enough isenough.
Knowing this is not enough isenough Enough, my friend.
(57:38):
She says what's strange isnothing changes.
If nothing changes, changes.
Oh, oh.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
Oh, oh.
Speaker 4 (58:09):
Give yourself the grace to start again.
If it hurts, you put it down.
If it don't serve, you lookaround.
You're doing great, my babe, Iswear you're gonna make it.
You never can know I could comeand it's not done.
Until it's done.
You're doing great, my babe, Iswear you're gonna make it.
I can do hard things, parallel,parallel parking, like it all.
(58:39):
It just takes Practicing.
I can walk a new path.
I can get myself back.
I can learn to be a betterfriend.
Give myself the grace to tryagain.
Speaker 2 (59:26):
Well, she can't hear us, but we are clapping.
She can see us clapping.
I'm just going to keep clappinguntil she puts her headphones
back on, there we go.
Speaker 3 (59:33):
This is not the end of the story.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
But this might be the end of the podcast.
Speaker 3 (59:37):
But it is the end of the story.
But this might be the end ofthe podcast, but it is the end
of the podcast.
Thank you, guys, so much forhaving me on.
This was delightful.
Thank you for letting me be asstrange as I am.
I am an insane person and Ilove getting to be one.
Speaker 1 (59:50):
I think, that should be everybody's goal.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
You need to be a little insane in this world, you
have to be.
You can't go through.
There's no way you're going.
Liam, Liam, Liam.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Hey, rob, rob, rob, Rob, rob Rob.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
You're like Beetlejuice If I say your name
three times, you appear.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You just said it like six times.
Does that mean I go back?
I don't know.
That's a good question.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
So, liam, yes, pretend you didn't know me.
Pretend you didn't know me.
I know you want to like, I mean.
I don't have to.
Okay, you see me in the gym,I'm benching 300.
I've got my headphones on.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Wait hold on Kilograms or pounds.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Oh, definitely kilograms.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Okay, Gosh just make sure?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yeah, you had to make sure that's fair.
Don't use no freedom units uphere.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Listen, I had told people to guess my height in a
video and they're like 190centimeters.
I'm like I don't know what thefuck that is.
Are you saying I'm tall orshort?
We only use that's actuallypretty darn close to your height
.
Yeah, I saw a bunch of 190.
I was like that sounds like itcould be tall.
I don't fucking know.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
So you see me in the gym.
What music do you think I'mlistening to?
Abba, I mean, yes, but ABBAit's a tie between Abba or
Disney songs.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Like you know, You're Welcome from Moana, or
something like that.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
That's impressively close, much closer than most
other people would guess.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Okay, if I had to guess, I would definitely guess
metal.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, I've definitely had people that have been
scared to approach me Like oh,that guy's hardcore.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Every metalhead I know, though, is so nice.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Oh yeah, but yeah, if you look at a lot of my
playlists, in the first fivesongs you will probably find our
guest today, Tessa Violet.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Wait, that was her intro this whole time.
That's what that was.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
What a hoodwink.
Stop.
Oh my God, I'm honored.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So why don't you introduce yourself?
Because we suck at introducingpeople.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Great, I love introducing myself, thank you,
hi everybody.
My name is Tessa Violet.
I am a singer-songwriter.
You might know me from my mostpopular song, which is crush and
it goes.
I can't focus on when he saidget done and um.
My newest song, which I thinkis the reason I'm here, is
called my body's my buddy.
Um, but maybe it's not, I don'tknow anything.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Well, I hope it's the reason you're here, cause I've
got it queued up in the back.
Okay, great, great.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Um, yeah, and right now.
Sorry, let me turn my mic down.
Right now I am working on arecord of like acoustic songs of
Healing Mantras and my Body's.
My Buddy is the first song fromthat record.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
But what healing?
Okay, so Healing Mantras.
Healing Mantra for me iscartoon themes from the 90s.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Which cartoon theme from the 90s are you putting on
the album?
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Sailor Moon oh shit, fuck.
Oh, sailor Moon's a good choice, though sailor moon's great.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Here's actually, this is the thing you need to know
about me.
I literally love digimon somuch and if people ever people
like to compare digimon andpokemon, I understand why and
I'm always like there is nocomparison.
Pokemon is the superior show,superior narrative, for a
thousand reasons.
However, one thing I willconcede is that, literally, the
Pokemon theme song is the besttheme song of all time.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It can go with anything.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, I remember being eight years old and my
friends and I would be likeyelling it from our living room
as we listened.
I want to be the very best.
I'm not going to sing all day.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
But man, it's just, whatever it was, it hit hard so
good.
Okay, it hit hard so good.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay, so, speaking of healing, and my Body is my
Buddy, that is the reason webrought you on is because you
put out a song that is bodypositivity and forgiving and
loving yourself.
And I guess, since I mentioned,I have the clip, maybe I'll
start with that, do it?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
From my birth to my grave, every step I've taken
clip.
Maybe I'll start with that.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Do it my body, oh, so I just have to say I have my
(04:12):
volume turned up, because Liam'susually really quiet in these
recordings, and so I'm now deaf.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I know that happened to me real quick.
I was like, oh, let me turnthat down just as fast as I
possibly can.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
All right.
So now that we can't hearanything, let's continue the
interview.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, so like music, okay, so I think we should start
there.
So that's something.
I've heard of this before.
So people generally take likewood or whatever, they turn it
into boxes and then that createslike sound and they pair that
with like, like the larynx thatalso creates sound, and then
that like harmonizes together ina certain way.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
(04:48):
I feel like I'm on the righttrack.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Yeah, no, that sounds right to me.
I'd agree with that.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So where did the inspiration from this come?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
from All right.
So what you must know about meis that I am sober from alcohol
for seven years now.
I got married two years ago andI was thinking what do I want
to do for my bachelorette party?
Because, like the idea of doingthe traditional out on the town
as a sober person, it's notlike, oh, I can't be around
(05:17):
alcohol.
It's just that it doesn't soundvery interesting.
I'm like it just doesn't soundlike a celebration of me and
what I'm interested in.
I have this friend, julia Nunes,who runs these coaching
retreats that are all about thepower of your yes and no and
connecting more deeply to desire, and I reached out to Julia and
(05:40):
I was like, julia, do you thinkyou would run a retreat for my
bachelorette party?
And she's like, yeah, if youcan convince everyone to do it.
Literally, I got 12 of myfriends to do it.
It was so awesome.
And one of the exercises in thisretreat was an exercise where
you write a letter from theperspective of your body.
(06:01):
Like you give your body a voiceand you write a letter from the
perspective of your body to you.
You take a little break, thenyou read the letter and you
write back from you to your bodyand then you repeat that whole
exercise one more time.
So it's two letters each backand forth for total, and the
thing that came up for me in myletter was this idea that I'm
(06:21):
like oh wow, like you know,people will like come and go
through your life.
You know your parents will die,new people will come in, but
from the moment I'm born until Idie, I will have this lifelong
companion of my body and mybelief is that my body loves me
(06:43):
and my body is quite playful andfunny and spirited and maybe I
could take certainly I couldtake better care of my body.
But also I'm like I am verydisconnected from my body.
So I wanted to write this songcalled my Body's my Buddy.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
It's something we see a lot in the health industry
that people will start theirhealth journey in a place of
hating themselves.
They want to hate themselvesinto a better body.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, I was going to say a lot of people probably
what you just said.
You know my body loves me.
I would hazard a bet that manypeople would not feel that way,
that they either hate their bodyor their body hates them, or
they feel trapped in their body.
That's something I've heardmany times.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, I mean, I think that's really common and I
hesitate to tell someone thathow they feel is wrong.
I'm like I don't know, maybeyour body hates you, sure, like
I don't know.
Like maybe your body hates you,sure, um, but when I look at
the reactions to this song youknow a lot of the like messages
(07:52):
and comments I've gotten frompeople was just like I've
literally never considered thisidea that my body, that I am not
my body, and that I am not likein a prison of my body, and
like, especially especially thisidea that, like you know, when
your body has pain, instead offeeling your body is inflicting
pain upon you, your body is withyou in this journey, also in
(08:14):
pain.
Like you are together in thisexperience.
This is a belief structure thatis beneficial to me as I walk
through my life.
I am not saying that it needsto be right for everyone, so if
you hear this and you think, oh,that doesn't work for me, shrug
it off.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
I like that.
That's an interesting thoughtthat your body's, if you're
experiencing pain, it's nottrying to harm you, it's also in
pain and doing it along withyou.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yes, and pain is telling us something.
I'm really out of my depth.
I'm not a scientist here,that's okay, we aren't either.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
We can just talk like we're experts.
It doesn't matter.
This is a podcast.
That's how social media works.
Yes, that's how podcasts work.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I am an expert now.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
I have knee pain sometimes and I know for me,
when I'm experiencing that kneepain in my body, my body's
telling me that I'm not movingmy knees enough.
So I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I've always found that like I'm in, because, okay,
you know, I've always heardpeople say like oh, people in
larger bodies or in smallerbodies, and like maybe it's just
a semantic thing.
But I've always found that sortof interesting because I'm like
to me, my body is me, am I?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
in my body.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
And that's more of a philosophical debate I feel like
Do you feel you are your body.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Tell me more about that.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I don't feel like I'm in my body.
I feel like I am my body andthat's just.
I don't really have anexplanation for that.
Besides, like, hey, everythingmy body touches, I feel that's
me.
It's all connected, the brainand the body, and all of it
comes together.
The knee bones connect to thesomething bone Head bone Knees
(09:55):
connect to the head, as we allknow.
You're the expert here Exactly,this is a podcast and I am a
straight white man, so I willassert myself as a expert in
everything.
That is what that is for.
But yeah, no, and it's not likeI felt like people say like, oh
, someone in a larger body orsmaller body, that's wrong.
So I've just never said itbecause it always just sounded a
(10:18):
little just odd, just like oddto me.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I don't know, yeah, interesting.
I have a question for you.
When I think of myself, thereare many parts to me.
There is my body and there isalso my mind which.
I also do not feel that I amLike.
I don't think that that is me,the essence of Tessa, and I'm
(10:41):
curious for you do you feel youare your mind?
Is your mind a part of yourbody?
Is your mind your brain?
What's your belief structurearound this?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah.
So the mind and the body, Iwould say, are connected, of
course, and to me I am both ofthose things, okay.
So this is where you get intothe philosophical debate.
Let's say, a brain transfer wasa possible and you had your
brain transferred into anotherperson, another body.
(11:12):
Right, they remove their brain.
Your brain goes in there, areyou?
You're still you.
I'm like, I am still me becausemy mind is there, but I'm
missing part of me because mybody's not there anymore.
There, but I'm missing part ofme because my body's not there
anymore.
So, like I am still me, butlike if somebody, somebody's
brain went into my body, right,then I kind of I also sort of
(11:36):
don't feel like it's me anymorebecause my, my mind isn't there,
right, it's just my body, youknow.
So I guess I, I feel like I'mmore prone towards saying like
my mind is mostly me and it'sconnected to my body.
So therefore it is me, butmostly I am my mind.
Yeah, yeah, cool.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
We'll have to trigger a Freaky Friday situation in
Texas.
What's the other?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
one, they pee into the fountain.
That one seems easier.
I remember when you came upwith that, yeah, we did like a
little dumb collab.
We're like, yeah, we peed intothe same fountain switch bodies,
and then, you know, do a littlevideo.
I don't remember that movie butlike, yeah, so it's that's.
I feel like, yeah, just more ofa philosophical thing, like you
kind of debate, and then youhave the soul.
Is there a soul?
What is the soul?
(12:16):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
what do you think?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
soul.
I I I don't really have strongfeelings towards a soul.
Does it exist Possibly?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
The most important soul, in my opinion, is Soul
Train, soul Train.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I like New Soul the song.
That's a good song.
I forget the artist, who that'sby, but that's a really good
song.
Look that up.
But yeah, I don't have strongfeelings for it.
Are there actually souls?
I can't even define what a soulis, so how am I going to say it
exists when I don't even knowexactly?
I'm definitely one of thosepeople that's like if I can see
(12:51):
it, if I can touch it, it's real.
If I can, if you can measure itover and over and you have the
same result, then it's real.
Outside of that.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
It's all a little.
Could we possibly define thesoul as the overlap of the
experience between your mind,your body, the various parts of
you interesting.
That is a broad definition, sothat's just but I mean soul
itself is kind of a broad, it isI guess it's.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
It narrows it down somewhat, because if you don't,
if you don't do that, it's justeverything about you, or it's
not.
Like I don't do that, it's justeverything about you or it's
not.
I don't even know what you.
So, yeah, so the connectionbetween your mind and your body
and everything that you gothrough is your soul.
Is that part of the soul?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Can I tell you what I think the soul is?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah, go, absolutely Okay.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I'm not saying I'm right and I'm not even saying
I'm going to believe this.
When you listen to this podcastthat comes out a week later I
don't know You're catching meMonday, april 7th, at 9.30am.
To me, the soul is like life,energy.
What is that special?
0.1%, whatever that?
Sorry, I just got anotification.
(14:06):
Let me turn this off.
This will be too distracting.
Like what makes us alive andthat is soul to me.
I, you know I'm interested inthis idea that, like energy,
cannot be created or destroyedand I feel that that is sort of
where soul exists.
To me I think it's fun.
One of my let me just say oneof my best friends from high
school, like one of my closestfriends does not believe in the
soul at all, and we love eachother so much.
(14:27):
Sometimes I'm like Rose stopsaying I don't have a soul and
she's like I don't think.
I have a soul either and I'mlike, but it's fun to believe in
the soul.
Oh, I, 100% agree.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
See, that's my problem.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I'm ginger, I don't have a soul, I and she's like
well, do you choose what youbelieve, or you do just happen
to believe it and I'm like, okay, that's a great question.
I'm like I will say aboutmyself that when someone tells
me something they believe, Ilove to try it on, to, like you
know, experience it in my mind'seye and to be like, ooh, do I
(14:58):
agree with this belief?
And sometimes I do, andsometimes I'm like, no, but cool
, I love that we all believedifferent things.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I love that you get your ideas challenged.
I think that's kind of, youknow, important in some way,
just to hear people who havedifferent thoughts on things.
I took in at Ohio State.
There was a class called Deathand the Meaning of Life, which
was one of my favorite classes.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Liam, you cut out.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I'm missing, whatever you're saying At Ohio State I
took a class Death and theMeaning of Life Wait we missed
you.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
You cut out.
Say it all again.
You took a class called Deathand the Meaning of Life, death
and the Meaning of Life.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah, at Ohio State it was probably one of my
favorite classes I've taken andit basically just kind of goes
through each of either thereligions or famous philosophers
and their ideas on like what,why, why are we here, what are
the big questions, why do weexist, what?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
All these different things, andthat was fascinating and all of
them just have very different,you know, opinions on what life
(15:58):
is, what we do, do we have asoul?
Do we not have a soul?
And that's just kind of one ofthose things and I'm like it's
interesting, but also like Ijust kind of shrug and I go, I
don't know, I don't know, butit's fun to hear other people's
thoughts on it.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
You tried it on and it wasn't for you.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Yeah, what do you guys do?
Do you have a practice aroundconnecting to your body, and
what does that look like for you?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I don't have a practice around connecting to my
body.
I have a practice aroundconnecting to my mind.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Oh, interesting, tell me about that.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
And that's actually with music Particularly.
If I'm like feeling anxiousstuff like that, I will sit down
with usually the guitar.
I will sit down with usuallythe guitar, and I'm not somebody
(16:51):
who's good at guitar in theclassical sense.
I don't know how to play songs,I don't know what a well, I
know some of the chords, but, um, it's an exercise of just
plucking a string, listening tothe, and it's almost like a
puzzle game for me Finding whatstring sounds good together.
And it's just, it turnssomething on in my brain and it
(17:16):
gives me a focus and it gives methe sound of, it gives me the
soothingness and I start to beable to hear myself better.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I don't think that, like I don't think there's
anything else to that.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I know that I left a pause there like I was going to
say something else.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I was like yeah and and uh, I used to say it's
someone who's like I kind ofjust see my, my body, my mind is
me, my body is me, I for me,it's more about just self-care
and just making sure I take timefor myself as someone who has
like a one-year-old and like I'mdoing social media and my wife
and I'm trying to like juggleall these different things and
(17:53):
there's a lot of stuff poppingup and I'm like I need to just
take time.
I've done that in the pastwhere I haven't, and then it
just kind of boils up and I justlike lash out and I just get
very angry at the littlest Ican't find now stupid cutting
out internet.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
We missed you at the end.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Yeah, I know, I saw it pop up.
That's stupid.
I take time for myself becauseI can, otherwise that I can get
mad at the littlest thing.
I can't find the remote andthen I flip the hell out, right.
I think a lot of people havefelt that way.
So, in order to just take timefor myself, to just do something
I enjoy, to just relax and Idon't know watch jackass or
whatever dumb thing that I like,and just take that moment to
(18:31):
just, you know, like okay, I,this is just for me, I'm not
worried about anything else.
I think that's really important.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So what about yourself?
What do?
Speaker 3 (18:44):
you do Tessa, all right, I'm in a practice right
now, a one-month container,where I am waking up every
morning and I'm starting my daywith 15 minutes of meditation,
which is the.
If you saw it, I made a littlevomit face, I was like yeah,
(19:05):
because I feel, rob, I feel waytoo connected to my mind, I feel
um and quite disconnected frommy body.
So and and also to me yeah andum, you know, within and and I
want to say on this podcast,literally, I started this
morning, so I am the beginner ofbeginners, I don't know
anything, but here's what cameto me in my first practice of it
(19:27):
.
Um, you know, I am sittingthere, I am aware that I am a
beginner, that I'm not doing itperfectly.
I get like fidgety, and Inoticed myself getting fidgety
and then I try and center againand what I'm doing for 15
minutes is I'm trying to, as Ibreathe out, focus on my breath
out, focus on the little pauseand then focus on my breath in
and focus on the sensation of mybreath, like moving in and out
(19:49):
of my lungs, moving in and outof my nose, and like that is
where I am bringing the focus ofmy attention, to this feeling
of breath, instead of theconstant like internal monologue
that I have going chattering onsomething.
Do you guys have an internalmonologue?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
oh yeah, all the time people's.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I don't have my, so have you ever seen those uh toy
monkeys that have the symbolthat like clang together?
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yeah, that's a monkey clanging no.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I don't really like.
A lot of times I just zone outand I'm just like thinking about
nothing or it's just like youknow I'm planning Cause I have,
you know, that social media likea plan in the next video.
Often I will just kind of moutha lot of the lines I have
planned for a video and my wifewill be like, what are you
planning on for this video?
And I'm like, and then I'lltell her because she knows when
I like mouth words and stufflike that, and I'll have like
gestures in my face because I'mlike practicing what I'm going
(20:45):
to do.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
I'm the same way.
My husband will be like whatare you thinking about now?
Yeah, exactly Right.
You're like, oh, let, what kindof suspicion are you having?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
So this is my next dick joke I'm going to make in
my upcoming video or somethingstupid like that Swear and then
so like yeah, it's either justlike really just nothing going
on, or like you know, somethinglike that, and I'm actually like
acting it out, I don't yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
On the mention of morning meditation, I will say,
now that it's warming up andthere's not quite as much snow
on the ground here, I have beenwanting to get up and just go
outside, get some sun, takePippin for a walk and just have
a nice quiet 15 minutes.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
That's the way to start the morning.
That's the best way to startthe morning.
You can have it, Rob.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
I'm telling you, it's a little relaxing.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, yes, so I have a mentorin this and my mentor's like how
do you want to do it?
I'm like I want to do 15minutes every morning and he's
like, okay, can I be honest withyou?
I'm like, yes, and he's likemost people fail at that goal I
like that it's like I reallyrecommend something easier to
start and I'm like what's easierthan 15 minutes?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
that's where we start with diet, though people are
like and like exercise.
I'm going to work out threedays a week and then we're like
hey, how about one day?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, and he's like what?
What I recommend is you shoulddo three minutes of meditation
five times a day.
So just um, you're going to setyou know a thing in your
calendar.
However, you want to do it andyou're gonna be like, oh, it's
meditation time, and then you'rejust going to take three
minutes.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Was that your notification?
You got like 30 minutes ago,meditation time yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
So you know, but I sat with that.
I'm like, okay, I will do thatas well, but there's something
about the dedication of gettingup for the morning.
I'm like, I think I for me, formy personality type, I, I at
least want to try and I'mwilling to fail if I can't stick
with it, but anyway, so I'mmeditating, you guys, I'm up at
6 am, I'm meditating and I hearmy thoughts saying, you know,
(22:45):
something like I'm bored, I'muncomfortable, I can't wait
until this is over, or, honestly, not even about meditation,
about something totallyunrelated.
And then I notice myselfthinking and I say with my
internal monologue I see you andI feel I have this moment where
I can see my mind as somethingthat is outside of myself.
(23:06):
My belief around my mind is thatmy mind is a tool and a buddy,
but more mischievous than mybody.
My body's like really kind oflight and love.
My mind is a little bit of atrickster and I'm like, oh my
God, I keep thinking that I amyou, but like hello, like you
are a tool that I can either umuse to create beautiful things,
(23:29):
um, or I can let totally run me,like my mind is always running
If I'm not um dedicated to thepractice of being aware of this
running.
And that was a cool moment tobe like I see you.
And then you know that fadesand then it comes up again.
I notice it again and I say Isee you, but it's like, as I'm
(23:49):
getting to the you in myinternal monologue, it's like
just fading to nothing, becauseeven saying I see you is using
my mind speaking of using yourmind as a form of expression,
obviously, um, well, I shouldsay it seems like you do a fair
amount of expression throughyour song.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yes, I mean, you've got uh what no?
No song, my god was sort oflike a sexual awakening.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yes, we're waking up, we're being sexy, we're being a
bad bitch.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
You got.
You Are Not my Friend.
I guess we could just saythat's about a bad relationship,
yes, and not about teenpregnancy.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yeah, and not about hating teen moms.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, so how much of your music is just you
expressing yourself?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
All of it, 100%.
All of it, a hundred percent.
All of it my belief.
Have you ever read A Big Magicby Elizabeth Gilbert?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Nope.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Ooh, you guys are my creative people.
I think you'd like this book.
Or maybe not, I don't know.
Anyway, elizabeth Gilbert isthe author that did Eat, pray,
love, and this was one of theirfollow-up books.
It's a guide.
It's a guide, it's ascaffolding for belief around
creativity.
If you don't feel like readingan entire book, she also did a
TED Talk on it like 12 years ago, and, to be honest, the TED
(25:08):
Talk covers all the content inlike 20 minutes.
But it's about this belief thatideas for creative ventures
exist outside of you.
You don't invent them.
You are open enough to listento them and your job as an
artist is to channel that ideafrom this ethereal realm into
Sorry, we're going to be reallyesoteric today, I hope that's
(25:30):
okay Channel it into thisdimension, as it were, and you
have lots of tools to do that.
One of the tools is the mindLike for me, when I write a song
, I begin by just trying to movemy fear out of the way, because
if I'm at the beginning of asession, often I will feel what
(25:50):
if nothing good comes?
What if I don't write anything?
What if I feel bored?
And I become aware of thosefears and I just try and really
move them out of the way.
And I say this is just mypractice today.
I'm practicing being openenough to bring something
through.
And in the beginning I do feelwhen I write a song I'm pulling
(26:12):
on my lived history, but thereis also a sense of pulling
something from the air.
And then, once you have likesome ideas down, you can start
to use the tool of your mind torefine, to make it all make
sense, to ask yourself, like doI like this?
Like okay, I'm going to judgeit now.
We don't judge when it's comingthrough.
(26:34):
When it's coming through, we'rejust opening it up to let
something in.
But once we're editing, we'reputting on our judgment cap.
We're being like what aboutthis works?
What about this is not working?
Yet I totally lost my train ofthought here.
Guys, I'm so sorry.
I'm like what?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
was the question, but I'm a huge fan especially as
somebody with chronic depressionanxiety, all that fun stuff of
finding a way to expressyourself through creativity.
Yes, and do you have any tipsfor people that might want to
start expressing themselvesmusically?
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Musically.
That's a great question, rob.
Thank you for asking me.
Is this for someone who's neverplayed before, or maybe someone
who has like a little bit ofpractice?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Let's start with somebody who's never played
before.
Maybe somebody wants to pick upan instrument and they're like
okay, I really feel like I couldexpress myself through this
thing.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Yes, great Love this, yeah, they got a didgeridoo.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
And now they're like what do I do?
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I've got a didgeridoo hell yeah, I have literally so
many like sound bath typeinstruments in my apartment and
the didgeridoo is one that Idon't have anyone who's
listening to this podcast.
When me and Rob popped on both,does the video go out somewhere
?
I don't even know that we bothhave these frame drums in the
background of our, I'm like, ohmy gosh, we're connected, okay.
(27:57):
So, just like everything I'vespoken of today, the ability to
practice creative music is alsoa practice.
So the first day you do it, youhave to go into it with the
attitude of I am a beginner, I'mjust learning For me, attitude
(28:18):
of I am a beginner, I'm justlearning For me.
When I decided I was going tostart learning guitar, I had a
vision of myself six months fromnow, and by vision, you guys, I
don't mean anything esoteric, Ijust mean I imagined within my
mind's eye it's not that deepthat I was going to learn to
play some songs and people weregoing to be impressed by me.
And I was very motivated bythat concept and I thought, even
if no one believes in me nowand my ability to do this, I
(28:42):
believe in myself and I willlearn a little bit at a time,
and every minute I spendpracticing is one more minute
toward this goal.
I love guitar, I recommendguitar, but I think guitar is
sometimes too hard for peoplewho are new, new, new, because
there's a bit of a hurdle thatyou have to be willing to build
(29:03):
up the calluses on your fingers,which is painful.
You go through a blister phase.
So ukulele is a great stringedinstrument that can get you
going.
People like to make fun ofukulele.
People think it's a beginner'sinstrument, but that's because
most people's experience withukulele is only ever having
heard.
I heard people will say I don'tlike ukulele, I'm like that's
not true.
You just don't like listeningto beginners play music which
(29:25):
that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
I mean anybody that says they hate ukulele.
I just say, go watch Izzy.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Yeah, exactly, I'm like.
Ukulele is a beautifulinstrument.
You just are only familiar withnew people.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I've always been curious.
Just because you're a musician,what's up with the banjo?
That always seemed fun.
That always seemed like a funinstrument to play.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Oh my gosh.
I mean, I don't play it, butmaybe you do in the future.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
That always seemed fun.
If I was speaking betweenguitar and banjo, I'm going
banjo.
That just it's fun.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Banjo.
That just.
It's a.
It's a fun.
Banjo is fun.
You can have it.
I had a banjo for a while.
My ex had one.
She never really played it.
She left it around for me toplay.
She finally took it back, so Idon't have it anymore.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
Yes, you can have it.
Okay, so sorry.
Back to this, this practice.
The best advice I was evergiven about songwriting is that
inspiration is for amateurs.
If you are going to wait, wait,wait until you feel inspired,
you will find that you are notspending a lot of time
practicing.
For me and my music practice, Iblock time out in my day.
It doesn't have to be every day, you know, like y'all saying,
(30:27):
with working out, maybe you juststart with once a week you know
, like you said with yourmeditation yes, start small.
Start small, but you giveyourself a framework of time
where you say this is the timethat I am practicing being
creative and inspiration mayalways come later, but then when
inspiration comes, you willhave the practice that you need
(30:49):
to pull that idea in better.
I like that.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Do you write songs, Rob?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I am at the point where I am starting to try
Because, as you said, I did thepractice first and now that it's
starting to form in my head, Ihave some of the skills to
actually start putting ittogether.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Yes, I love that.
I love that.
Can I tell you guys a desire Ihave?
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Of course, oh, I'm sorry, no, sorry, okay, I do not
consent.
Of course, oh, I'm sorry, no,sorry, okay, well, I do not
consent no, consent is not given.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I kind of want to do like a workshop with people.
That is around helpingbeginners start to write songs.
But I literally have noinfrastructure on that, but it's
like a someday dream but I'mlike, yeah, I think I'd be good
at that.
I do believe anyone can write asong.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I'm not saying everyone can write a hit song,
but but can we be honest, like alot of times, the hit songs,
are they the best songs?
Are they even good songs, likethe hit songs?
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Or do you just say Around the?
Speaker 2 (31:50):
World 1,800 times and then it gets a gajillion views.
Not that I dislike that song,I'm not trying to hate on daft
punk here, like.
But you know, like sometimesthe pop songs that hit the the
charts maybe aren't the the mostwell like written or thought
out or you know that sort ofthing they're usually following
a formula.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Yeah, okay, well to to offer a contrary opinion.
Um, there are some hit songsthat I personally think are
stupid, if I'm being honest,however, if a hit song were
actually easy to write, everyonewould do it and let me tell you
(32:29):
writing a hit song isincredibly hard, even if it is
just saying around the world amillion times, because there is
something about that song thatfeels so fucking good you're
just like ah right, millions ofpeople wouldn't listen to it if
it wasn't like quote, unquote.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Good, what is good?
Is it good if it gets a lot ofviews because you know listens,
then yeah, it is a good song,yeah, or does it get a lot of
listens because it makes peoplefeel good?
There's a, there's a lot tothis.
That's what you know, like Imean.
But like they're maybe not themost deep songs that make you
really like right, exactly thatmake you, that are thought
(33:07):
provoking Let me maybe put itthat way.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Yes, for sure, for sure.
In general, like big, big songstend to be songs that make
people feel good and, in fact,simple.
That make people feel good and,in fact, simple things make
people feel good and maybethere's something to that.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Everybody you say gangnam style, open whatever
it's open, gangnam style, dancearound and you get 18 kajillion
views nobody even knows thelyrics I don't know the lyrics.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
I still listen to it I've still never seen that music
video oh, really wow.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I watched it just because I felt like I had to.
After a trillion views, I waslike, all right, well, let me,
you know, I gotta, I gotta checkI have I'm pretty sure it got
foisted on me my husband justwalked in, hi scooty.
I'm doing a podcast right nowhi dante rob says hi, liam does
not say hi I don't say hi, whatI will will say can I tell you
what I've gotten into, that Ienjoy Fidget toys.
(33:58):
I've really enjoyed that whichones?
Speaker 3 (34:01):
And?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
why?
Usually the little spinners.
I like anything that like thelittle fidget spinners.
I'm like 10 years late to theparty on this, but like I don't
know.
There's something I just enjoywhere I kind of just zone out
and there's just something liketwirling around or spinning or
going up and down or whatever itis and I'm like, yeah, this is
kind of nice where I'm just likenot really thinking about
anything but there's just alittle spinny doodad I enjoy.
(34:23):
I enjoy that.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
I like it.
Yes, a little simple thingMakes us feel good.
It's the simple things in life,right?
Yes, I mean, I think so.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Smell the roses, spin the thing in your hand not okay
.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Okay, this is a, since you're saying this, sorry
total.
Okay.
Well, I have two questions.
I want to check in on one.
I know we're at an hour.
How long are your podcastsnormally is?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
it okay if I keep talking shit, or until we're
done, yeah is it okay to go alittle bit longer?
Speaker 3 (34:49):
oh yeah, or do you?
Do you have?
Speaker 1 (34:51):
to go.
It's okay if you do an hour 40minutes, I believe yeah okay,
great.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Also part of me is I'm like maybe talk about the
take out all that part where Isaid all that stuff aboutophobia
.
I don't know if I just did agood job representing it.
I want to.
It's difficult to speak to itwhen it's like my lived
experience is from theperspective of a thin, white
former model body.
Anyway, this is what I wasgoing to say, which is not
(35:19):
related to that at all, I do youfeel?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Yes, I feel.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
No, I don't feel.
Oh shit, that's a problem.
I should get this checked out.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
I'm so sorry.
This is a total like unrelatedthing at all and I'm like how do
I make this?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
related to what I was just saying.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
We go for it, that's what we do okay, great, um, I
feel that, okay, if we'respeaking outside of all the like
political, societal, likeinfrastructure problems, we have
in this country one problem,but besides all that, um, I
really feel that we need morecommunity, which I think
(35:57):
everyone knows and is talkingabout.
But I am like what does thatlook like in a real way?
How can we foster actualcommunity?
I'm interested in this idea ofhealing.
What does healing look like?
I think a lot of people it's acommon belief, maybe, especially
for men Are both of y'all men.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Let me check.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Okay, great, so maybe you can speak to this.
But I believe that there is abelief for especially men that
they feel that, okay, I will goout and make more friends, I'll
make more community once I'mlike right with myself, once I'm
fixed, once I you know whatever.
And I am just curious if, infact, there can be more healing,
(36:40):
if you are willing to bevulnerable about who you are
right now.
And does any of what I'm sayingmean anything?
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Can I rant about something I know?
usually it's Liam that rants butI absolutely have a rant about
this about community, becauseone thing I tried to do when,
particularly when starting up adiscord, was I tried to reach
out to other creators and belike, hey, let's merge into this
(37:11):
one big community, bringeverybody together, have a
community.
And I absolutely hate thateverybody always feels they need
to have their own thing,because humans are finite
resources.
A single person is only goingto be part of one or two
(37:33):
communities.
I mean they might have again inthe terms of Discord.
They'll have one or two mainDiscords that they've joined and
then they might have a bunch ofother ones, but if they're
going to talk about how theyfeel or something, they're only
going to do it in one or two ofthose.
They're not going to go toevery single one, and so I hate
(37:56):
that everybody spreads them out.
Every time somebody makes a newdiscord, you are you.
The only way for it to exist isto take from somebody else's
discord, and so we actively arenot building communities, we are
actually spreading thosecommunities out, and I hate it
is something I have always, havealways hated, because I'm
(38:18):
absolutely completely forbuilding bigger communities,
building safe spaces for peopleto talk about what's going on,
bringing people together tovalidate each other and in
shared experiences, andparticularly as a man speaking,
we have that aspect of menaren't allowed to have feelings,
(38:42):
men aren't allowed to ask forhelp and you get into a
community where there's othermen who are sharing their
feelings, asking for help, youare more likely to do that.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Yes, yes, yes.
We look to each other and wesee.
Okay, rob, can I tell you oneof my beliefs?
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Of course.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
I believe this about all people, but especially the
role of the artist.
It is your duty to let theperson that you were as a
seven-year-old, your light shinebefore the world made you feel
embarrassed for being who youare.
It's your duty to let yourlight shine, because when you
give yourself permission to bewho you are, you give everyone
(39:21):
else permission to be who theyare too.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
I like that.
Sorry, I was also burping atthe same time.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
I'm glad there's permission to burp on this
podcast.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
I'm glad there's permission.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
It's funny you bring that up though just because I
was just talking with my wifeabout this and we talk about it
a decent amount because she hasthis feeling as well that we've
lost a sense of community andthat has been a disservice to
the human psyche.
I guess, in a way and the way Ilook at it is from a perspective
of both technology and aspopulations have increased those
(39:56):
two things, I think, havedriven us apart, which is kind
of weird, because like, oh, morepeople should mean more
community.
When in general, let's say, yougo to like a rural area where
there's only like 50 people,they probably all know each
other, right, like they'reprobably there, they, you know,
they know each other's namesomething, whereas if you go to
an apartment complex with athousand people, you maybe know
(40:17):
one person, right, it's justkind of like as you get more
people, you get pushed furtheraway and I think it's just this
loud noise, this din that'sgoing on around you of so many
different things to narrow downon one thing, whereas if you
just have one neighbor in themiddle of fucking nowhere, then
you probably know that oneperson.
You put on top of thattechnology, which is great in so
(40:38):
many ways and as has solved alot of problems.
Of course, like with anything,it's going to create problems
and I think, while we can use itin a in a way to kind of bring
us together things like discordand whatnot, I think it just for
the more so it pushes us apartand we all kind of live in our
own little world with our socialmedia.
(40:58):
And you just swipe and you andyou and you look at what's just
going on with just you and thisphone and that's it.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
I just say that is what I love about living rurally
.
I I hate every other aspect.
I hate the bad internet, I hatethe one hour drive into the
city to go shopping, but I lovethe community aspect and, like
pippin's best friend is the dogacross the alley, I can just go
outside with pippin, bring himacross the alley, let them play,
talk with the neighbors, yeah,and it's great yeah I think,
(41:27):
yeah, those two things, I, I, I,what uh I've talked about, like
I named my whole like channelthe plant slant after uh
learning about the blue zones,and I talk a lot about their
diet.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
But their community is their places, where people
live like into their 90s 100s.
Their community is veryimportant to them and I think
that's an important part oftheir health is they.
They, they absolutely interactwith each other and they talk
all the time.
They do all these things and Ithink that's kind of it kind of
important.
So, you know, if you can findsomething that, whatever it is,
whether whether it's a sport ora religion hey, it could be
(42:00):
Scientology Well, maybe allright, let's maybe not go crazy
but let's not go crazy, yeahlet's not go too crazy here.
I don't want to.
Well, let's me not.
Let me not turn off all theScientologists that we're
listening to.
But you know whatever, you knowcommunity, that you know that
whatever activity or whatever itis that that gives you a sense
of community, I think could bevery important to your health.
Love it.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
I have an exercise that I think it would be fun to
do if y'all are open to it.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Is it first or is?
Speaker 1 (42:25):
it.
No, you have to make us agreeto it first, and then you, you
suck the rest into something.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
I'm going to explain it first and you can decide if
you want to do it.
So this is a bring it all theway back to the end of the
podcast.
This was one of the exercises Idid at my um, uh, bachelorette
party.
Um, and it's a desire exercise.
What it is is we will, I willset a timer for maybe three
minutes, um, and I will ask oneat a time.
(42:54):
So, rob, I'm going to ask youwhat do you?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
want.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
And then you're just going to say anything that you
think that you want, and I'mgoing to say you can have it.
And then I'll say what else?
And then you'll say anythingelse that comes to mind, and
there is no desire too big ortoo small, and we'll do that for
about three minutes, fourminutes, maybe three minutes,
and then at the end I'll say wow, I love your desire, thank you
(43:19):
for sharing, and you'll saythanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Sure, I mean I'm in, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
I don't feel like I felt an enthusiastic yes from
Rob, and that is okay.
We don't have to do it.
Speaker 4 (43:31):
Also, I could go first if you guys want to ask me
sometimes it's easier toexperience someone doing it.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
I love to do this because, um, I don't always know
what I want, and it is ahelpful exercise to be like yeah
, what do I want?
Also, it's a little bitvulnerable to on a podcast
because I'm like what's going tocome up?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
I don't know oh, I mean, we've already embarrassed
ourselves plenty of times great,that's fair.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
Would you like me to go first, and do you guys
actually want to do this?
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Let's do it.
Let's do it Okay.
Speaker 3 (44:04):
All right, Rob, you do it with me.
You're going to ask me what doyou want?
And we're going to go throughit.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
I'm going to say what you want.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
I want a fuller meal.
I'm hungry.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (44:21):
I want to wake up at seven tomorrow to meditate, not
six.
You can have it.
Do I just keep going?
What else I want to do?
Speaker 1 (44:35):
my three-minute meditation after this podcast
and not forget, you can have itand we'll make sure that we
remind you what else I think Iwant to own a home someday.
You can have it, thank you.
That was a hard one, but youcan have it.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
What else?
I want to live closer tofriends.
I want to live within walkingdistance of my friends.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
You can have that, what else?
Speaker 3 (44:58):
I want to have enough money to have a reasonable
retirement.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:06):
I want to be more connected to my body.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:11):
I want to move my knees after this podcast.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
You can have that, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:20):
I want to go on a fun date with my husband, Dante.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
I will call him up and make sure it happens.
You can have it, what else?
I want to save more money tospend less money.
I want to spend less money.
You can have it.
What else?
Speaker 3 (45:33):
I want to help people .
Speaker 1 (45:36):
You can have that, what else?
I want to help people.
You can have that, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:39):
I want to put out a beautiful album that is
meaningful to me and to others.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
Oh, you're absolutely going to do that.
What else?
Speaker 3 (45:49):
I want less mind chatter.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (45:54):
I want to move slower .
Speaker 1 (45:56):
You can have it.
How long do I keep going?
Speaker 3 (45:58):
I've got a timer.
We got 45 more seconds.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Okay, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:01):
I want to be more gentle.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:07):
I want to continue to exercise more self-love.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:12):
I want more self-compassion.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:17):
I want to do a going away party before I move.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:22):
I want to call my family more.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 3 (46:27):
I want to recognize beauty more when I see it.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
You can have the timer up, but you can have that
too.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
Thank you, and then you say I love your desire.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
I love your desire, thank you.
And then you say I love yourdesire, I love your desire,
thank you for sharing.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Thanks for listening.
Oh my gosh, would one of youlike to try it?
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Yeah, Rob, you don't have to Rob.
You seem super enthusiasticabout it.
Speaker 3 (46:45):
Here's what I like about this exercise is that
almost everything that we want.
When I hear you can have it, Irealize, oh, I can have it.
It is literally just aboutsetting my intentions, and the
thing is that you can't haveeverything, but if you decide
this is the thing I want, youcan set forth, make that your
(47:07):
intention and walk toward it,and I think that's powerful and
I think it's helpful sometimesto say that you want something
and maybe you thought you wantedit, but you hear yourself say
it out loud and you think, yeah,actually maybe I don't want
that.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
There are stories we tell ourselves about what we
think we should want, okay, okay, all right, let me get rid of
the mind chatter here.
Speaker 3 (47:26):
Yes, there's three minutes.
There is no wrong thing.
You can say this is not a test,silence is okay, it's okay to
think about it and it's okay tosay something stupid.
There's no judgment.
This is play Rob.
What do you want?
Speaker 1 (47:43):
More friends.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Enough money to repair my truck.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Also enough money to support all the other people
when they're streaming or whenthey need something or something
else.
All that stuff, you can have it.
What else To build a nicebackdrop for videos?
You can have it.
What else To go lay in the sunwith Pippin?
Speaker 3 (48:12):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:15):
A fireplace.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:19):
A fire in that fireplace?
Speaker 3 (48:21):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:24):
A table saw.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
You can have it.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
What else?
A really badass Viking axe.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
You can have it.
What else A better CPU?
You?
Speaker 1 (48:34):
can have it.
What else?
Someone to mow the lawn for?
Speaker 3 (48:36):
me, you can have it.
What else A better CPU?
You can have it.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
What else?
Someone to mow the lawn for me.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:41):
The snow gone so that the lawn can actually grow.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (48:48):
A hot bath.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
You can have it.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
What else?
Pizza?
I'm really craving pizza rightnow.
You can have it.
What else To find where mymechanical pencil went?
You can have it.
What else To find where?
Speaker 3 (48:58):
my mechanical pencil went.
You can have it.
What else?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
People to remember my birthday this year.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (49:05):
To one day be able to do a charity stream as big as
Scotty's.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 1 (49:14):
Peas I really want peas too On the pizza.
You can have it.
What else?
Peas I really want peas too Onthe pizza, you can have it.
What else I mean?
Maybe on the pizza We'll see Afreshly brewed cup of coffee.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
I need another cup of coffee.
I feel that right now.
Speaker 3 (49:26):
Rob, you can have it and I love your desire.
Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
Thank you for listening.
Speaker 3 (49:32):
Of course, yeah, how's it feel doing it?
I mean, it's okay if you'relike, like it feels stupid and I
didn't like it.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
I liked it.
It was just letting it all outthere.
I don't even remember half ofwhat I said, but that's okay, I
feel lighter.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
I don't remember most of the things I say, so it
works out pretty well.
It's all good.
Yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
The other thing I like about this exercise is that
often I realize that many ofthe things I want are like not
that big, you know.
Speaker 1 (49:59):
Right, like the sunbeam with Pippin Exactly.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Why don't you get your pencil?
Speaker 1 (50:03):
Yeah, I want to know what happened to that pencil
it's a really good pencil.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
It's like I can actually do that right after
this.
I can have that, I have adesire and I can have a desire
you know obtained.
Liam, do you want to try it?
No pressure.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
I try.
I don't Do we need to do threeminutes.
I don't know if I got threeminutes.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
We can do less.
It's whatever you want.
Do you want to?
Speaker 2 (50:25):
give me a minute.
Give me a minute.
I feel like I can do a minute.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
Put him on the clock for three, and if he's done,
just let him be.
Either way, it all works.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
All right.
Well, I want to suggest, ifyou're open to it, maybe a
minute 30, because sometimes youfind good things when you think
you've run out.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
Okay, sounds good.
Liam, what do you want?
I want to make people laugh.
Speaker 3 (50:49):
You can have it.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
What else?
I also want to make peopleworry less about shit they don't
need to worry about.
Speaker 3 (50:57):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 2 (51:00):
I want to travel.
I want to go to other countriesthat aren't Canada.
You can have it.
What else?
I want to travel with my wifeand I want more alone time.
I love my daughter, but we needmore time to ourselves.
Speaker 3 (51:14):
You can have it, what else?
Speaker 2 (51:20):
I want to continue learning to ride the unicycle
and be able to do more than justone shorts line you can have it
what else?
I want to be able to add thejuggling into the unicycle,
because I want to be able to doboth at the same time and not
just one, because, yeah, you canhave it, what else?
Uh, a cup of coffee.
Like rob said, I want that too,you can have it what?
(51:41):
else, I need new shorts becauseit's summer coming up and all my
shorts suck when they'refalling apart you can have it
what?
Else, um more funko pops, eventhough I don't need them at all,
you can have it.
What else hiking I want?
I want to go to place.
I want to hike places that havehiking you can have those
places in canada.
(52:03):
No, that's right, I won't travel.
That's good.
I think that's good.
Let's do one more.
Okay, um, I want to um be in amovie, in a comedy, where I also
make people laugh.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
You can have it, Liam .
I love your desire.
Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2 (52:25):
Thank you for listening.
Yes, that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (52:27):
Yes, thanks for doing something weird with me, guys.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
Listen, weird's my.
I wish weird was my middle name.
I wanted to make my daughter'smiddle name Danger.
Hear me out here she's on theplayground and she's doing
something dangerous and they saydon't do that, she.
She, she turns to them and goesdon't worry, danger's my middle
name and there's no way you cantell that kid ever get anything
she would have to have like amini recorder that allows her to
play the bond sting.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Oh, you could play like the background well, I give
her a little smartphone.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
She'd have a little smartphone with her and she's
just like a little button andshe could play it at any point.
It's like its own app.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
That would be amazing .
Speaker 2 (53:01):
How cool would that be, come on, I mean, we gave her
the middle name Valentine, andthat's like good.
Speaker 3 (53:06):
Oh, that's so sweet, it's a good middle name.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
We came up with a good middle name.
Speaker 3 (53:18):
But Danger's awesome too, though.
On man yeah, man, ever betterbe careful test and I steal it.
Well, I am all about, like youknow, I don't have any kids, but
I love the idea of like strangemiddle names because it's who
uses a middle name who you?
You?
Speaker 2 (53:26):
rarely ever use like a little spice.
You know that's I mean, I guessI use my middle name all the
time, but I have a spicy middlename my middle name.
My middle name is Violet.
Oh, so it says.
Speaker 3 (53:37):
Okay, I wasn't sure.
Oh okay, okay, that's good.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
I mean see mine's Perry, like who gives a shit.
That's awful.
Speaker 3 (53:45):
Like it's a fine name , but it's a middle name, come
on.
Is it a family name?
Speaker 2 (53:50):
I think it's my uncle .
Like so that's fine, it's cool,but like, I want a fun, I want
a fun middle name.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
It's you give your kids fun middle names.
That's all.
Let me tell you something, liamyou can have it.
Speaker 2 (54:02):
I mean I want to change my middle name to danger
you can't do it.
Speaker 3 (54:07):
You could be liam danger I already.
Speaker 2 (54:09):
I already my last name was hyphenated and I said
that is awful, why would anyonedo that to their kids?
And I changed it.
So I did do that.
Okay, good to know.
Good to know.
Yeah, forget, it's annoyinganyway yeah, I've heard that.
Yeah, it's very annoying.
Don't do that to your kids.
Give them a fun middle name.
Don't hyphenate their last name.
That's the real moral of thestory of this episode.
In moderation all right, good toknow, don't be your worst but
(54:33):
no, okay, maybe we you shouldtell people where to find you
after this and all that goodstuff.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
Yes, hi everybody.
So I am everywhere you can findpeople.
I'm also on Twitch recently,but will you ever see me?
What I want you to know is thatI am working on this beautiful
(55:01):
new record and you will be ableto hear that record probably.
I'll start putting out songsfor it next year and until then,
oh, actually text me.
Oh fuck, I just turned off mytexting thing.
I don't want to pay for itanymore.
Okay, well, I don't know.
My name is Tessa.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Violet.
I'm not there.
Speaker 3 (55:16):
Listen to my music.
Listen to the music.
Speaker 2 (55:18):
Find me where music is found.
Speaker 3 (55:21):
Yeah, Go to YouTube.
The music videos are cool.
Speaker 1 (55:25):
Liam Liam.
Speaker 2 (55:26):
What's your?
Speaker 1 (55:27):
favorite Tessa Violet song.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
My Body's my Buddy.
And that is the answer fromsomeone who only knows one song.
I'm going to go with that one.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
It's a good one.
It's a good one.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
See, that's a good one.
I listened to it.
Speaker 3 (55:39):
Yeah, can I play you a song to finish?
Speaker 1 (55:42):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (55:45):
What I got a guitar right here.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
Well, that's convenient.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
I'm just adjusting the microphone.
I'm also realizing this will bethe first time I sang today, so
here's hoping, guys.
Speaker 4 (55:56):
I have this image in my head I'm on a train going
somewhere that I don't want togo.
To my left is the open airinviting me to jump out on the
hill, but that'd be insane.
It's so much easier to be hereon this train Going somewhere
(56:19):
that I don't want to go.
And besides, what if I get offand find I like the new place
even less?
Knowing this is not enough isenough.
Knowing this is not enough isenough.
(56:45):
I don't like the way it feelsbeing here with you.
I can never tell what's realand what is true, but somewhere
inside my body I am saying Idon't want this anymore.
Once I've heard it, then I'veheard it.
(57:06):
You can't stop me now.
I will honor and protect her.
I will not allow myself tosquander one more day accepting
less than she deserves, tosquander one more day accepting
less than she deserves.
Knowing this is not enough isenough.
Knowing this is not enough isenough Enough, my friend.
(57:38):
She says what's strange isnothing changes.
If nothing changes, changes.
Oh, oh.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
Oh, oh.
Speaker 4 (58:09):
Give yourself the grace to start again.
If it hurts, you put it down.
If it don't serve, you lookaround.
You're doing great, my babe, Iswear you're gonna make it.
You never can know I could comeand it's not done.
Until it's done.
You're doing great, my babe, Iswear you're gonna make it.
I can do hard things, parallel,parallel parking, like it all.
(58:39):
It just takes Practicing.
I can walk a new path.
I can get myself back.
I can learn to be a betterfriend.
Give myself the grace to tryagain.
Speaker 2 (59:26):
Well, she can't hear us, but we are clapping.
She can see us clapping.
I'm just going to keep clappinguntil she puts her headphones
back on, there we go.
Speaker 3 (59:33):
This is not the end of the story.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
But this might be the end of the podcast.
Speaker 3 (59:37):
But it is the end of the story.
But this might be the end ofthe podcast, but it is the end
of the podcast.
Thank you, guys, so much forhaving me on.
This was delightful.
Thank you for letting me be asstrange as I am.
I am an insane person and Ilove getting to be one.
Speaker 1 (59:50):
I think, that should be everybody's goal.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
You need to be a little insane in this world, you
have to be.
You can't go through.
There's no way you're going.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.