May 29, 2025 • 22 mins
What if your best travel companion isn’t your passport—but your personality?
In this solo episode, host Paula Mohammed continues the conversation on character strengths—those deeply personal yet often overlooked qualities that shape how we connect, cook, and travel.
Building on episode 33, Paula explores how our signature strengths like curiosity, kindness, and humor show up in everyday moments—from bustling street markets to quiet shared meals with strangers.
She shares personal stories, including a dog bite in Portugal (yes, really) and a watermelon dinner on a Greek ferry, to illustrate how mindfulness and character strengths can guide us through both joyful and challenging moments.
We talk about:
🧭 How character strengths like humility and zest can deepen our travel experiences
🐾 Why mindfulness + strengths can turn reactive moments into intentional ones
⚡ Paula’s go-to tools for navigating “hot buttons” and cultural differences
Whether you're planning your next trip or reflecting on your last, this episode is a reminder that the best tools for connection—and growth—are already within you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Paula Mohammed (00:00):
Hi, I'm Paula Mohammed and welcome to In My
Kitchen with Paula.
This podcast is a gatheringplace for culinary adventures
who love to travel.
Every week, we'll come togetherwith chefs, cookbook authors,
talented home cooks, andeveryone in between to talk
about their story and theirunique dish using food as the
vehicle will take a ride intothe ins and outs of their
(00:21):
culture and country.
Come on, let's get this partystarted.
Hello, and welcome to In MyKitchen with Paula.
I'm so glad you're here with metoday.
Whether you're choppingveggies, on a walk, or perhaps
on a plane heading towards yournext adventure, I hope this
episode will provide some newinsight and perhaps even ignite
some new thoughts and action.
Today's episode is continuingthe talk around character
(00:45):
strengths.
So if you didn't get a chance,listen to episode 32, which
introduces character strengths: those beautiful qualities we (00:49):
undefined
each carry often unnoticed, butdeeply powerful.
We'll continue to explore howthey show up in our travels, our
cooking, and the way we connectacross cultures.
Why we should be aware and, andeven care about them and we'll
also talk about those trickymoments when we feel triggered
(01:10):
or challenged.
And how mindfulness andcharacter strengths together can
help us respond with moreclarity and compassion,
especially around our travels,food and culture.
Carrying on from the lastepisode, I'm gonna quickly just
do a recap on what characterstrengths are and how you can
identify yours.
Let's get right into it.
(01:32):
Character strengths are thepositive parts of our
personality, like curiosity,kindness, perseverance, or
gratitude.
They are are inner resources wecan draw on to meet challenges,
build relationships, and livewith purpose.
The Via or VIA institute oncharacter, where psychologist
Dr.
Ryan Niemiec has done somegreat work, identifies 24
(01:56):
universal character strengths,things like creativity, love of
learning, humility, hope, andmany others.
We all have character strengthsto different degrees, kind of
like, um, like ingredients in awell-stocked pantry.
Some we use every day.
Others might be sitting on theshelf waiting for their moment.
These strengths shape how weshow up in the world and how we
(02:20):
connect with one another.
I highly recommend you take thefree VIA Character Strength
survey to identify yourcharacter strengths and it'll
rank them in order.
And the top five to sevenbecome your signature character
strengths.
And to learn more aboutidentifying your signature
character strengths, have alisten to episode 32.
(02:41):
Let's take a look at characterstrengths in action in travel,
cooking, and culture.
Imagine you're travelingthrough Morocco, the air is
warm, the scent of spices hangin the breeze, and someone
invites you into their home toshare a meal.
Now, this is my favorite kindof travel day.
You may not speak the samelanguage, but with curiosity,
(03:02):
humility, and a little courage,you connect over food, laughter,
and shared experience.
I'll never forget a personalexperience of this many years
ago, so back in the nineties.
My backpacking buddy, Deena,and I were traveling on the
Brinidisi Ferry overnight,heading to the Greek Islands.
Probably the island of Corfu,if I remember correctly.
(03:22):
We were on the upper outsidedeck with a large watermelon for
dinner and a bottle of wine.
We met this lovely youngcouple, I think they were from
Brazil.
Uh, not a word of English, andwe didn't speak Portuguese.
We had a real connection withthem though through sharing our
watermelon, wine, laughingtogether, and listening to each
(03:44):
other's tape cassettes in ourWalkmans.
We spent seven hours connectingliterally over food, laughter,
music, and of course cheap wine.
I'll always remember them andthe wonderful experience we had.
Just this warm hug full ofpositive emotions that came out
of that time together.
Uh, another example, maybeyou're participating in an In My
(04:05):
Kitchen culinary experience,cooking with one of our hosts
from a, a different culturalbackground, and of course other
guests.
You lean into your love oflearning to understand a new
recipe.
Your gratitude to honor thetradition behind it and your
teamwork to collaborate in thekitchen.
Character strengths are alivein these moments, whether it's
(04:25):
patience while a stew simmers orzest as you try something
totally new.
They help us bridge culturalgaps, handle awkward missteps,
and find connection in theunfamiliar.
Now, life isn't always smooth.
Sometimes we feel stressed,irritated or overwhelmed,
especially when we're inunfamiliar places or situations.
(04:49):
This is where mindfulness comesin.
Now, I'm sure we've all heardabout mindfulness and the
research-based evidence aroundmindfulness now and how good it
is for us.
Mindfulness is the practice ofbeing present: open and
non-judgmental.
It helps us pause, noticewhat's happening inside us and
(05:09):
choose how we want to respond.
So basically it's pause,awareness, response.
Dr.
Ryan Niemiec talks about howmindfulness and character
strengths work beautifullytogether.
When we're mindful, we noticeour strengths and use them more
intentionally rather thanreacting out of habit.
(05:30):
Dr.
Niemiec, who in addition tobeing a psychologist, so he's
also the education director ofthe VIA Institute on Character,
has pioneered an approach thatintegrates mindfulness and
character strengths in a simple,powerful way.
He emphasizes that mindfulnesshelps us become aware of our
inner experience, whilecharacter strengths give us a
(05:53):
practical language for action.
Mindfulness alone can createcalm and clarity, but when we
pair it with the active use ofour strengths, we move from
being, uh, just aware toengaging with purpose.
This idea is expressed inNiemiec's program called
Mindfulness Based StrengthsPractice, or MBSP for short.
(06:15):
So what is MBSP exactly?
It's an evidence-based programthat brings together.
As I mentioned, mindfulnesspractices, so that's like the
breathing exercises, body scansand mindful awareness of
emotions.
So it brings mindfulness ofpractices together with
character strength exploration.
And character strengths.
Exploration is identifying,reflecting on, and using
(06:39):
strengths in daily life.
The goal of MBSP is to increasewellbeing, strengthen
relationships, and help peoplelive with more meaning and
intention.
So let's take a look at whatthis looks like.
You might learn to observe yourreactions in a stressful
moment, and then use a strengthlike perspective or forgiveness
(07:00):
to respond thoughtfully.
Or you might reflect on yourday and notice how you used your
creativity or humilitycharacter strengths, and how
that shaped your experience.
Uh, I wanna share anotherpersonal story with you about
where I used mindfulness andcharacter strengths.
In a recent trip to Portugal, Iwas traveling with my partner
Steve, and we were in a remotevillage in the Alentejo region.
(07:24):
And nobody was around.
Um, very narrow, not evenroads, I'd call them cobblestone
laneways.
And we were going through, andthere were two dogs lying in the
middle of the road.
And because they're so narrow,there was no room for us to go
around.
So, Steve says to me, he'sdriving and he says, "yeah,
(07:46):
Paula just go out and shoo thedogs.
It's not like they're gonnabite you or anything." Now, just
a little bit of background.
Steve is not the dog guy.
I've grown up with dogs since Iwas born and I, I know, I know
better.
I.
But I decided to go with theflow, and I went out and I
shooed the dogs or tried to, andyou can guess pretty much what
(08:06):
happened.
Uh, the dogs turned on me andbit me.
Ripped through my brand newjeans and broke the skin.
It wasn't a horrific bite, butI knew because it was bleeding,
the skin was broken and I wouldneed to get this dealt with.
So my immediate reaction, ofcourse, was, well, fear.
And I ran to the car, jumpedin, and immediately what I
(08:31):
would've done was, would be lookat Steve and go, "what the
hell?
Why did you send me out thereinto a pack of dogs, dah, dah,
dah." It wasn't a pack, it wasjust two.
But I didn't, I actually pausedand that split second of a
pause made me, uh, think aboutwhat I wanted to draw on, what
character strengths I wanted todraw on.
And this is because I've beenpracticing this, right?
(08:52):
It's becoming a bit of a habit,so I wouldn't normally pause.
But, uh, I've built in thishabit now trying to take a
moment to pause before I react.
So I drew on the characterstrength of forgiveness.
Now it's not like I sat therein my head going through them
all saying, oh, I'm gonna drawon this one.
It was a very natural reaction,but it was because I just took
(09:14):
that moment to pause that itallowed me to be thoughtful and
then I could think about how Iwanted to move forward.
And in that moment I alsorealized that I knew better.
I knew I was going against myintuition and it was on me and
solely me that I put myself inthat situation.
Now, luckily, S and I both havehumor as one of our signature
(09:35):
strengths, and we eventuallystarted laughing about it.
Not immediately.
It took a, took a little bit oftime.
Um, even though this, so afterthe bite, uh, this then led to
us trying to get the bitecleaned out.
Figure out if I needed a rabiesshot or not.
We went to four differenthospitals and nine hours of
waiting.
At the end of the day, just togive you some closure to the
(09:57):
story, uh, I didn't need arabies shot.
Portugal's been eradicated ofrabies, but because nobody spoke
English, it was very difficultto get to that point.
But if you ever get bitten by adog or in any kind of animal
that breaks a skin or brushesyour skin, always see a doctor.
Because they gave me a heavydose of antibiotics and cleaned
(10:20):
it out.
So this is just a little sidetravel note, uh, but it's the
infection that you really needto be worried about.
You can start using mindfulnessand character strengths
together right away by askingyourself regularly, "which of my
strengths can I bring forwardright now?" And again, in that
split second, I paused and Ichanged the direction of my
(10:40):
reaction or how I was gonnareact.
I didn't necessarily go throughall my character strengths and
then decide which one.
It just came quite naturally,because once you start
practicing it, it does become ahabit.
This simple habit transformshow we meet challenges, how we
connect with others, and savourjoyful, delicious moments.
And if you remember from aprevious episode, um, with Sonia
(11:05):
Bozzi talking about, we were inItaly, in Parma and Moderno,
she talks a lot about thesavouring and how that's an
Italian way of life.
Uh, okay.
Another example.
Let's say you're at a crowdedstreet market, someone bumps
into you.
It's hot, 40 degrees out.
You're flustered, you'resnappy.
Your first reaction might beirritation.
(11:27):
But if you take a breath andbecome aware, "I'm feeling
tense", you create space tochoose a different response.
Maybe with forgiveness orperspective or self-regulation.
It's not about being perfect,it's about practice.
VIA Institute on CharacterStrengths defines this approach
to developing characterstrengths of mindfulness like
(11:50):
this.
Let go of being a good personand aim to be a better person.
I'm gonna repeat that again.
Let go of being a good personand aim to be a better person.
This really hit home for me,and if you're a perfectionist or
tend to lean that way or alwaysthinking about what you should
(12:11):
be doing, I think this is reallygonna hit home for you too.
Okay.
Last week's episode, Iintroduced hot buttons around
character strengths and promisedto share with you a couple of
strategies in this week'sepisode to help manage them.
So sometimes our strongestvalues can also be our greatest
triggers.
Dr.
Niemiec calls these hotbuttons.
(12:32):
A hot button gets pushed whenone of your top character
strengths is challenged ordismissed.
This was another huge ahamoment for me.
So hot buttons get pushed oryou get triggered when one of
your top character strengths ischallenged or dismissed, or
underused or overused.
So for example, if you deeplyvalue fairness, injustice can
(12:56):
make your blood boil.
If kindness is important toyou, cold or harsh behavior can
really sting.
If honesty is your anchor, evensmall white lies might bother
you.
These triggers can sparktension, especially in
cross-cultural interactionswhere norms and expectations
differ.
(13:17):
So a personal example for mewhen a hot button of mine is
pushed is when someone I am withmakes a face or comment of
disgust when trying a new food,especially from a different
culture.
And this is, I think, a verycommon type of hot button moment
in cross-cultural experiences.
When someone reacts withvisible disgust or
(13:37):
dismissiveness after trying anew food, especially in another
country, the character strengthbeing triggered for me is
appreciation of beauty andexcellence, which is one of my
signature character strengths.
This strength is about valuingand respecting excellence, skill
and beauty in all forms,including cultural traditions,
(13:58):
craftsmanship and culinaryheritage.
So in the context of food andculture, I see traditional
dishes as expressions ofidentity, history, and artistry.
When someone makes a face orreacts dismissively or with
disgust, it feels to me likethey're disrespecting more than
just the food.
They're rejecting somethingdeeply meaningful to another
(14:19):
culture.
That reaction feels not justimpolite but a violation of
respect and reverence,especially because curiosity,
kindness and fairness are alsomy signature strengths.
While our character strengthsare universal, so again, in
episode 32, I talk about howthese 24 strengths came to be
(14:40):
and they actually, um, areuniversal, meaning they cross
cultures.
However, how we express them isshaped by our culture.
And there's more research thatneeds to be done according to
Dr.
Seligman and Dr.
Peterson who created ordeveloped these character
strengths.
So more research to be donearound this cross-cultural
(15:02):
experience of them.
And I can't wait to see whatcomes from that.
So how we express them isshaped by culture.
What feels like a core value toone person might look
unfamiliar or even off-puttingin another culture.
That's where mindfulness andcharacter strengths come
together in our travels andthrough exploring culture
(15:22):
through food too.
To help us understand,regulate, and respond with
empathy.
As Niemiec reminds us (15:27):
pause with mindfulness, choose with
strengths.
Okay, so the two helpfulstrategies that I wanted to
share with you, um, are, again,Dr.
Niemiec, uh, created thesestrategies: retrospective
management is one andpreventative management.
So let's just, uh, break it downa bit.
(15:48):
They're super simple and easyto use.
Retrospective management.
This approach happens after themoment has passed.
It helps you reflect and grow.
Here's how (15:58):
ask what strength of mine was being triggered.
Think was I overusing,underusing, or misusing that
strength?
Consider how could I use itmore skillfully next time?
Okay.
Here's something that Iexample, and this is something
I'm very guilty of.
Picture yourself helping toprepare a group dinner and no
(16:20):
one's listening to your input,so you get a bit snappy.
Later, you realize yourleadership strength felt
dismissed.
Looking back, you think nexttime I can balance leadership
with a bit more humility orteamwork.
It's really a compassionate wayto learn and do better next
time.
Or in the example where someoneexpressed a dislike for food,
(16:42):
um, or disgusted for food, I canbalance out my signature
character strength ofappreciation for beauty and
excellence with some curiosity,which is another signature
strength of mine.
I could have asked the personmore about what they don't like.
Is it the taste?
The texture?
Versus jumping to theassumption they were
intentionally insulting theculture, but I can't help but
(17:04):
add, please don't show orexpress disgust, just quietly
don't eat it.
If, if you must, if you.
Really though, try everything.
Okay, the second strategy: preventative management. (17:13):
undefined
This one is about lookingahead.
So you anticipate going into asituation where your hot buttons
might get pushed and prepare inadvance.
So the steps (17:25):
identify your triggers.
Before going into a situationask which of my strengths might
be challenged here, and thenchoose a supporting strength to
bring with you.
An example (17:36):
you're about to go on a trip with a friend.
I'm sure we've all been in thissituation.
This friend loves to make lastminute decisions, just kind of
go on the fly.
You are a planner.
You value prudence.
Instead of resisting, youdecide to lean into flexibility
and humor.
You remind yourself this isn'tabout a perfect itinerary, it's
(18:00):
about enjoying the journey.
Remember, you're not denyingyour strength, you're rounding
it out.
So all this talk aboutcharacter strengths that I've
done in the last two weeks, Ijust wanna bring it together
and, and answer the question,"why should I embrace my
character strengths?",especially those signature
strengths.
(18:20):
Beyond managing our strengthswhen they're challenged, why
should we embrace and use oursignature character strengths
even more often?
Because when we do, we thrive.
Research shows that using yoursignature strengths, those that
feel most natural andenergizing, can lead to greater
(18:41):
happiness and life satisfaction,increased positive emotions,
stronger relationships, andbetter stress resilience.
Think of it like the emotionalsuperfoods for our personality.
So the science behind it, I'mcoming back to this broaden and
build theory that I firstintroduced in episode 28,
(19:01):
psychologist Dr.
Barbara Fredrickson offers apowerful explanation through her
broaden and build theory ofpositive emotions.
The theory says that when weexperience positive emotions
like joy, gratitude, interest,and love, our minds and hearts
open up, we become more curious,more creative, more generous,
and more connected.
(19:21):
Over time, these broadenedemotional states build lasting
inner resources.
So we get a immediate feel goodfrom it but the cool thing is,
is that there's a long lastingeffect.
So it's builds lasting innerresources like mental
resilience, social support, andeven physical wellbeing.
And one of the best ways tocreate positive emotions: using
(19:46):
your signature characterstrengths in new and intentional
ways.
If your strength is curiosity,explore a new dish or ask
questions about someone'scultural traditions.
I love doing the podcast episodewhen I interview our guests
because one of my signaturestrengths is curiosity.
The show brings me a lot ofmeaning and joy, and I just love
(20:07):
it.
If it's kindness for you offerto cook for a neighbor.
If it's humor, lighten up atense dinner table with a gentle
joke.
Every time you lean into yourstrengths, you're not just
feeling good in that moment,you're expanding your capacity
to grow, connect, andcontribute.
Cooking, eating and connectingacross cultures are rich
(20:27):
opportunities to grow.
This is why I love In MyKitchen.
From every guest on the showwe've had to our In My Kitchen
hosts to every student who'sparticipated in one of our
cooking experiences or theafterschool cooking club.
We use curiosity to explore newrecipes, bravery to try new
customs or travel on your own.
(20:49):
Perspective to listen and learnfrom others.
And yes, self-regulation whensomeone suggests you get out and
shoo away the stray dogs, andthey bite you.
Mindfulness gives us space.
Strengths gives us tools.
Together, they help us show upwhether we're hosting a dinner,
traveling abroad by ourselves orwith a partner.
(21:11):
Or having a heart to heart withsomeone different from us.
When we bring awareness andstrengths into the kitchen,
around the table and out intothe world, we're not just
nourishing ourselves, we'recreating little ripples of joy,
understanding, and resilience ineveryone around us too.
Thank you for spending this timewith me today.
(21:32):
As you move through the week,try noticing your character
strengths in action.
Which ones feel most natural toyou?
Which ones might you like touse more?
And if you're not sure whatyour signature strengths are,
you can take the free VIACharacter Strengths survey
online at viacharacter.org.
It only takes about 15 minutes.
(21:52):
I have no affiliation withthem, and it's a wonderful way
to learn more about the bestparts of who you are.
If you love this episode, pleaseleave us a review and rate the
show on Apple Podcasts.
You have to click on the threedots on the Apple podcast
episode, and then click go toshow.
Scroll down halfway and you'llsee rate and review.
(22:13):
Also, even better, if you thinkof someone in your life who
would enjoy or benefit from thisepisode, please, please share
it with them.
Until next time, happy cookingand happy travels.
Hi, I'm Paula Mohammed and welcome to In My
Kitchen with Paula.
This podcast is a gatheringplace for culinary adventures
who love to travel.
Every week, we'll come togetherwith chefs, cookbook authors,
talented home cooks, andeveryone in between to talk
about their story and theirunique dish using food as the
vehicle will take a ride intothe ins and outs of their
(00:21):
culture and country.
Come on, let's get this partystarted.
Hello, and welcome to In MyKitchen with Paula.
I'm so glad you're here with metoday.
Whether you're choppingveggies, on a walk, or perhaps
on a plane heading towards yournext adventure, I hope this
episode will provide some newinsight and perhaps even ignite
some new thoughts and action.
Today's episode is continuingthe talk around character
(00:45):
strengths.
So if you didn't get a chance,listen to episode 32, which
introduces character strengths: those beautiful qualities we (00:49):
undefined
each carry often unnoticed, butdeeply powerful.
We'll continue to explore howthey show up in our travels, our
cooking, and the way we connectacross cultures.
Why we should be aware and, andeven care about them and we'll
also talk about those trickymoments when we feel triggered
(01:10):
or challenged.
And how mindfulness andcharacter strengths together can
help us respond with moreclarity and compassion,
especially around our travels,food and culture.
Carrying on from the lastepisode, I'm gonna quickly just
do a recap on what characterstrengths are and how you can
identify yours.
Let's get right into it.
(01:32):
Character strengths are thepositive parts of our
personality, like curiosity,kindness, perseverance, or
gratitude.
They are are inner resources wecan draw on to meet challenges,
build relationships, and livewith purpose.
The Via or VIA institute oncharacter, where psychologist
Dr.
Ryan Niemiec has done somegreat work, identifies 24
(01:56):
universal character strengths,things like creativity, love of
learning, humility, hope, andmany others.
We all have character strengthsto different degrees, kind of
like, um, like ingredients in awell-stocked pantry.
Some we use every day.
Others might be sitting on theshelf waiting for their moment.
These strengths shape how weshow up in the world and how we
(02:20):
connect with one another.
I highly recommend you take thefree VIA Character Strength
survey to identify yourcharacter strengths and it'll
rank them in order.
And the top five to sevenbecome your signature character
strengths.
And to learn more aboutidentifying your signature
character strengths, have alisten to episode 32.
(02:41):
Let's take a look at characterstrengths in action in travel,
cooking, and culture.
Imagine you're travelingthrough Morocco, the air is
warm, the scent of spices hangin the breeze, and someone
invites you into their home toshare a meal.
Now, this is my favorite kindof travel day.
You may not speak the samelanguage, but with curiosity,
(03:02):
humility, and a little courage,you connect over food, laughter,
and shared experience.
I'll never forget a personalexperience of this many years
ago, so back in the nineties.
My backpacking buddy, Deena,and I were traveling on the
Brinidisi Ferry overnight,heading to the Greek Islands.
Probably the island of Corfu,if I remember correctly.
(03:22):
We were on the upper outsidedeck with a large watermelon for
dinner and a bottle of wine.
We met this lovely youngcouple, I think they were from
Brazil.
Uh, not a word of English, andwe didn't speak Portuguese.
We had a real connection withthem though through sharing our
watermelon, wine, laughingtogether, and listening to each
(03:44):
other's tape cassettes in ourWalkmans.
We spent seven hours connectingliterally over food, laughter,
music, and of course cheap wine.
I'll always remember them andthe wonderful experience we had.
Just this warm hug full ofpositive emotions that came out
of that time together.
Uh, another example, maybeyou're participating in an In My
(04:05):
Kitchen culinary experience,cooking with one of our hosts
from a, a different culturalbackground, and of course other
guests.
You lean into your love oflearning to understand a new
recipe.
Your gratitude to honor thetradition behind it and your
teamwork to collaborate in thekitchen.
Character strengths are alivein these moments, whether it's
(04:25):
patience while a stew simmers orzest as you try something
totally new.
They help us bridge culturalgaps, handle awkward missteps,
and find connection in theunfamiliar.
Now, life isn't always smooth.
Sometimes we feel stressed,irritated or overwhelmed,
especially when we're inunfamiliar places or situations.
(04:49):
This is where mindfulness comesin.
Now, I'm sure we've all heardabout mindfulness and the
research-based evidence aroundmindfulness now and how good it
is for us.
Mindfulness is the practice ofbeing present: open and
non-judgmental.
It helps us pause, noticewhat's happening inside us and
(05:09):
choose how we want to respond.
So basically it's pause,awareness, response.
Dr.
Ryan Niemiec talks about howmindfulness and character
strengths work beautifullytogether.
When we're mindful, we noticeour strengths and use them more
intentionally rather thanreacting out of habit.
(05:30):
Dr.
Niemiec, who in addition tobeing a psychologist, so he's
also the education director ofthe VIA Institute on Character,
has pioneered an approach thatintegrates mindfulness and
character strengths in a simple,powerful way.
He emphasizes that mindfulnesshelps us become aware of our
inner experience, whilecharacter strengths give us a
(05:53):
practical language for action.
Mindfulness alone can createcalm and clarity, but when we
pair it with the active use ofour strengths, we move from
being, uh, just aware toengaging with purpose.
This idea is expressed inNiemiec's program called
Mindfulness Based StrengthsPractice, or MBSP for short.
(06:15):
So what is MBSP exactly?
It's an evidence-based programthat brings together.
As I mentioned, mindfulnesspractices, so that's like the
breathing exercises, body scansand mindful awareness of
emotions.
So it brings mindfulness ofpractices together with
character strength exploration.
And character strengths.
Exploration is identifying,reflecting on, and using
(06:39):
strengths in daily life.
The goal of MBSP is to increasewellbeing, strengthen
relationships, and help peoplelive with more meaning and
intention.
So let's take a look at whatthis looks like.
You might learn to observe yourreactions in a stressful
moment, and then use a strengthlike perspective or forgiveness
(07:00):
to respond thoughtfully.
Or you might reflect on yourday and notice how you used your
creativity or humilitycharacter strengths, and how
that shaped your experience.
Uh, I wanna share anotherpersonal story with you about
where I used mindfulness andcharacter strengths.
In a recent trip to Portugal, Iwas traveling with my partner
Steve, and we were in a remotevillage in the Alentejo region.
(07:24):
And nobody was around.
Um, very narrow, not evenroads, I'd call them cobblestone
laneways.
And we were going through, andthere were two dogs lying in the
middle of the road.
And because they're so narrow,there was no room for us to go
around.
So, Steve says to me, he'sdriving and he says, "yeah,
(07:46):
Paula just go out and shoo thedogs.
It's not like they're gonnabite you or anything." Now, just
a little bit of background.
Steve is not the dog guy.
I've grown up with dogs since Iwas born and I, I know, I know
better.
I.
But I decided to go with theflow, and I went out and I
shooed the dogs or tried to, andyou can guess pretty much what
(08:06):
happened.
Uh, the dogs turned on me andbit me.
Ripped through my brand newjeans and broke the skin.
It wasn't a horrific bite, butI knew because it was bleeding,
the skin was broken and I wouldneed to get this dealt with.
So my immediate reaction, ofcourse, was, well, fear.
And I ran to the car, jumpedin, and immediately what I
(08:31):
would've done was, would be lookat Steve and go, "what the
hell?
Why did you send me out thereinto a pack of dogs, dah, dah,
dah." It wasn't a pack, it wasjust two.
But I didn't, I actually pausedand that split second of a
pause made me, uh, think aboutwhat I wanted to draw on, what
character strengths I wanted todraw on.
And this is because I've beenpracticing this, right?
(08:52):
It's becoming a bit of a habit,so I wouldn't normally pause.
But, uh, I've built in thishabit now trying to take a
moment to pause before I react.
So I drew on the characterstrength of forgiveness.
Now it's not like I sat therein my head going through them
all saying, oh, I'm gonna drawon this one.
It was a very natural reaction,but it was because I just took
(09:14):
that moment to pause that itallowed me to be thoughtful and
then I could think about how Iwanted to move forward.
And in that moment I alsorealized that I knew better.
I knew I was going against myintuition and it was on me and
solely me that I put myself inthat situation.
Now, luckily, S and I both havehumor as one of our signature
(09:35):
strengths, and we eventuallystarted laughing about it.
Not immediately.
It took a, took a little bit oftime.
Um, even though this, so afterthe bite, uh, this then led to
us trying to get the bitecleaned out.
Figure out if I needed a rabiesshot or not.
We went to four differenthospitals and nine hours of
waiting.
At the end of the day, just togive you some closure to the
(09:57):
story, uh, I didn't need arabies shot.
Portugal's been eradicated ofrabies, but because nobody spoke
English, it was very difficultto get to that point.
But if you ever get bitten by adog or in any kind of animal
that breaks a skin or brushesyour skin, always see a doctor.
Because they gave me a heavydose of antibiotics and cleaned
(10:20):
it out.
So this is just a little sidetravel note, uh, but it's the
infection that you really needto be worried about.
You can start using mindfulnessand character strengths
together right away by askingyourself regularly, "which of my
strengths can I bring forwardright now?" And again, in that
split second, I paused and Ichanged the direction of my
(10:40):
reaction or how I was gonnareact.
I didn't necessarily go throughall my character strengths and
then decide which one.
It just came quite naturally,because once you start
practicing it, it does become ahabit.
This simple habit transformshow we meet challenges, how we
connect with others, and savourjoyful, delicious moments.
And if you remember from aprevious episode, um, with Sonia
(11:05):
Bozzi talking about, we were inItaly, in Parma and Moderno,
she talks a lot about thesavouring and how that's an
Italian way of life.
Uh, okay.
Another example.
Let's say you're at a crowdedstreet market, someone bumps
into you.
It's hot, 40 degrees out.
You're flustered, you'resnappy.
Your first reaction might beirritation.
(11:27):
But if you take a breath andbecome aware, "I'm feeling
tense", you create space tochoose a different response.
Maybe with forgiveness orperspective or self-regulation.
It's not about being perfect,it's about practice.
VIA Institute on CharacterStrengths defines this approach
to developing characterstrengths of mindfulness like
(11:50):
this.
Let go of being a good personand aim to be a better person.
I'm gonna repeat that again.
Let go of being a good personand aim to be a better person.
This really hit home for me,and if you're a perfectionist or
tend to lean that way or alwaysthinking about what you should
(12:11):
be doing, I think this is reallygonna hit home for you too.
Okay.
Last week's episode, Iintroduced hot buttons around
character strengths and promisedto share with you a couple of
strategies in this week'sepisode to help manage them.
So sometimes our strongestvalues can also be our greatest
triggers.
Dr.
Niemiec calls these hotbuttons.
(12:32):
A hot button gets pushed whenone of your top character
strengths is challenged ordismissed.
This was another huge ahamoment for me.
So hot buttons get pushed oryou get triggered when one of
your top character strengths ischallenged or dismissed, or
underused or overused.
So for example, if you deeplyvalue fairness, injustice can
(12:56):
make your blood boil.
If kindness is important toyou, cold or harsh behavior can
really sting.
If honesty is your anchor, evensmall white lies might bother
you.
These triggers can sparktension, especially in
cross-cultural interactionswhere norms and expectations
differ.
(13:17):
So a personal example for mewhen a hot button of mine is
pushed is when someone I am withmakes a face or comment of
disgust when trying a new food,especially from a different
culture.
And this is, I think, a verycommon type of hot button moment
in cross-cultural experiences.
When someone reacts withvisible disgust or
(13:37):
dismissiveness after trying anew food, especially in another
country, the character strengthbeing triggered for me is
appreciation of beauty andexcellence, which is one of my
signature character strengths.
This strength is about valuingand respecting excellence, skill
and beauty in all forms,including cultural traditions,
(13:58):
craftsmanship and culinaryheritage.
So in the context of food andculture, I see traditional
dishes as expressions ofidentity, history, and artistry.
When someone makes a face orreacts dismissively or with
disgust, it feels to me likethey're disrespecting more than
just the food.
They're rejecting somethingdeeply meaningful to another
(14:19):
culture.
That reaction feels not justimpolite but a violation of
respect and reverence,especially because curiosity,
kindness and fairness are alsomy signature strengths.
While our character strengthsare universal, so again, in
episode 32, I talk about howthese 24 strengths came to be
(14:40):
and they actually, um, areuniversal, meaning they cross
cultures.
However, how we express them isshaped by our culture.
And there's more research thatneeds to be done according to
Dr.
Seligman and Dr.
Peterson who created ordeveloped these character
strengths.
So more research to be donearound this cross-cultural
(15:02):
experience of them.
And I can't wait to see whatcomes from that.
So how we express them isshaped by culture.
What feels like a core value toone person might look
unfamiliar or even off-puttingin another culture.
That's where mindfulness andcharacter strengths come
together in our travels andthrough exploring culture
(15:22):
through food too.
To help us understand,regulate, and respond with
empathy.
As Niemiec reminds us (15:27):
pause with mindfulness, choose with
strengths.
Okay, so the two helpfulstrategies that I wanted to
share with you, um, are, again,Dr.
Niemiec, uh, created thesestrategies: retrospective
management is one andpreventative management.
So let's just, uh, break it downa bit.
(15:48):
They're super simple and easyto use.
Retrospective management.
This approach happens after themoment has passed.
It helps you reflect and grow.
Here's how (15:58):
ask what strength of mine was being triggered.
Think was I overusing,underusing, or misusing that
strength?
Consider how could I use itmore skillfully next time?
Okay.
Here's something that Iexample, and this is something
I'm very guilty of.
Picture yourself helping toprepare a group dinner and no
(16:20):
one's listening to your input,so you get a bit snappy.
Later, you realize yourleadership strength felt
dismissed.
Looking back, you think nexttime I can balance leadership
with a bit more humility orteamwork.
It's really a compassionate wayto learn and do better next
time.
Or in the example where someoneexpressed a dislike for food,
(16:42):
um, or disgusted for food, I canbalance out my signature
character strength ofappreciation for beauty and
excellence with some curiosity,which is another signature
strength of mine.
I could have asked the personmore about what they don't like.
Is it the taste?
The texture?
Versus jumping to theassumption they were
intentionally insulting theculture, but I can't help but
(17:04):
add, please don't show orexpress disgust, just quietly
don't eat it.
If, if you must, if you.
Really though, try everything.
Okay, the second strategy: preventative management. (17:13):
undefined
This one is about lookingahead.
So you anticipate going into asituation where your hot buttons
might get pushed and prepare inadvance.
So the steps (17:25):
identify your triggers.
Before going into a situationask which of my strengths might
be challenged here, and thenchoose a supporting strength to
bring with you.
An example (17:36):
you're about to go on a trip with a friend.
I'm sure we've all been in thissituation.
This friend loves to make lastminute decisions, just kind of
go on the fly.
You are a planner.
You value prudence.
Instead of resisting, youdecide to lean into flexibility
and humor.
You remind yourself this isn'tabout a perfect itinerary, it's
(18:00):
about enjoying the journey.
Remember, you're not denyingyour strength, you're rounding
it out.
So all this talk aboutcharacter strengths that I've
done in the last two weeks, Ijust wanna bring it together
and, and answer the question,"why should I embrace my
character strengths?",especially those signature
strengths.
(18:20):
Beyond managing our strengthswhen they're challenged, why
should we embrace and use oursignature character strengths
even more often?
Because when we do, we thrive.
Research shows that using yoursignature strengths, those that
feel most natural andenergizing, can lead to greater
(18:41):
happiness and life satisfaction,increased positive emotions,
stronger relationships, andbetter stress resilience.
Think of it like the emotionalsuperfoods for our personality.
So the science behind it, I'mcoming back to this broaden and
build theory that I firstintroduced in episode 28,
(19:01):
psychologist Dr.
Barbara Fredrickson offers apowerful explanation through her
broaden and build theory ofpositive emotions.
The theory says that when weexperience positive emotions
like joy, gratitude, interest,and love, our minds and hearts
open up, we become more curious,more creative, more generous,
and more connected.
(19:21):
Over time, these broadenedemotional states build lasting
inner resources.
So we get a immediate feel goodfrom it but the cool thing is,
is that there's a long lastingeffect.
So it's builds lasting innerresources like mental
resilience, social support, andeven physical wellbeing.
And one of the best ways tocreate positive emotions: using
(19:46):
your signature characterstrengths in new and intentional
ways.
If your strength is curiosity,explore a new dish or ask
questions about someone'scultural traditions.
I love doing the podcast episodewhen I interview our guests
because one of my signaturestrengths is curiosity.
The show brings me a lot ofmeaning and joy, and I just love
(20:07):
it.
If it's kindness for you offerto cook for a neighbor.
If it's humor, lighten up atense dinner table with a gentle
joke.
Every time you lean into yourstrengths, you're not just
feeling good in that moment,you're expanding your capacity
to grow, connect, andcontribute.
Cooking, eating and connectingacross cultures are rich
(20:27):
opportunities to grow.
This is why I love In MyKitchen.
From every guest on the showwe've had to our In My Kitchen
hosts to every student who'sparticipated in one of our
cooking experiences or theafterschool cooking club.
We use curiosity to explore newrecipes, bravery to try new
customs or travel on your own.
(20:49):
Perspective to listen and learnfrom others.
And yes, self-regulation whensomeone suggests you get out and
shoo away the stray dogs, andthey bite you.
Mindfulness gives us space.
Strengths gives us tools.
Together, they help us show upwhether we're hosting a dinner,
traveling abroad by ourselves orwith a partner.
(21:11):
Or having a heart to heart withsomeone different from us.
When we bring awareness andstrengths into the kitchen,
around the table and out intothe world, we're not just
nourishing ourselves, we'recreating little ripples of joy,
understanding, and resilience ineveryone around us too.
Thank you for spending this timewith me today.
(21:32):
As you move through the week,try noticing your character
strengths in action.
Which ones feel most natural toyou?
Which ones might you like touse more?
And if you're not sure whatyour signature strengths are,
you can take the free VIACharacter Strengths survey
online at viacharacter.org.
It only takes about 15 minutes.
(21:52):
I have no affiliation withthem, and it's a wonderful way
to learn more about the bestparts of who you are.
If you love this episode, pleaseleave us a review and rate the
show on Apple Podcasts.
You have to click on the threedots on the Apple podcast
episode, and then click go toshow.
Scroll down halfway and you'llsee rate and review.
(22:13):
Also, even better, if you thinkof someone in your life who
would enjoy or benefit from thisepisode, please, please share
it with them.
Until next time, happy cookingand happy travels.
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