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February 18, 2025 • 78 mins

In this episode, we explore into the transformative journey of Garrett J. White, founder of the Wake Up Warrior movement. From his early successes in investment banking and real estate to facing personal and professional collapse during the 2008 financial crisis, Garrett's story is one of resilience and reinvention. He shares how hitting rock bottom led him to develop the "Warrior's Way," a system designed to help men achieve balance across body, being, balance, and business. Join us as we explore Garrett's insights on overcoming adversity, redefining masculinity, and building a life of purpose and authenticity.

Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction and Garrett's Childhood
05:55 - Hearing God's Voice and Leaving Mormonism
21:00 - Abuse as a Child
37:28 - His Marriage Wake Up Call
48:40 - Advice on Getting a Divorce and the Divorce Diet
1:03:01 - Garrett's Business Background
1:07:30 - Garrett's Wake Up Warrior Program

Resources
Garrett's Instagram
Wake Up Warrior Program


Coaching and Staying Connected:

1-on-1 Coaching | Instagram | YouTube | TikTok | LinkedIn

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Garrett White (00:00):
I was raised in Mormonism. My mom was like, very

(00:02):
disciplined. Here's thechecklist, to heaven. If you and
I are in family and we don'tboth make it, we break the
family chain. The whole familyis fucked. My uncle, he was
bodybuilder. He was anaggressive dude. I'm six years
old, and he pulled me into abathroom, punched me in the
head, told me I would kill youif you tell anyone. And this
shit went on for two years. Istarted trail running and ultra

(00:23):
running. I'd been doing IronMan's and they got in Ultra
running. And it was in Ultrarunning, running 1015, miles in
the middle of the trails in themountains. And this voice became
this inspiration. Everything wedid with Wake Up Warrior
transformed my life. But at thattime, I had nothing, no money,
an affair, addiction, justnothing. I had nothing. All I
had was run. And this voice, atthat time, started guiding me to
see things about myself, and thefirst thing he did was truth.

(00:46):
This has been one of the bestshows I've ever done. We went to
a place where I've never gonebefore in 150 podcasts that I've
done.

Randall Kaplan (01:00):
Welcome to In Search of Excellence, where we
meet entrepreneurs, CEOs,entertainers, athletes,
motivational speakers andtrailblazers of excellence, with
incredible stories from allwalks of life. My name is
Randall Kaplan. I'm a serialentrepreneur, venture capitalist
and the host of In Search ofExcellence, which I started to
motivate and inspire us toachieve excellence in all areas
of our lives. My guest today isthe incredible Garrett J white.

(01:24):
Garrett is a business, marriageand family coach who is best
known for his Wake Up Warriormovement in the last 12 years,
Garrett has coached more than65,000 people from 27 countries
with a mission for them tobecome their full and authentic
selves for personal development.
Garrett has an incredible storyabout redemption, resilience and
a commitment to the truth as herebuilt his life after losing
his business and family byembracing transparency and

(01:45):
authenticity here. Thanks forbeing here. Welcome to In Search
of Excellence. Randall, I amhonored to be on this show.
You've a great lineup. Excitedto be part of that with you.
Thanks for being here. You gotit. I always start my show with
parents. Our parents helpinfluence and shape our future.
You grew up in Washington andCalifornia. Your mom was passive
and your dad was grew up in amilitary family. Tell us how

(02:08):
your parents influenced yourfuture and what they were like.
So my dad was the youngest offive kids, and he was the one
child that wasn't raised inmilitary, so he did the exact
opposite. My grandfather,Colonel Air Force. My uncles all
deployed, all of them active.

(02:28):
And then my dad was the lastone. My father, my grandfather,
retired. He said, listen, we'vegiven enough blood from our
family to this country. You'regoing to do something different.
So my dad actually became theopposite of my grandfather, my
uncles, and became very soft.
And you would think he came froman aggressive background, that
he would he chose the exactopposite. My mother, on the
other hand, became theaggressive alpha in our house,

(02:51):
and she came from the opposite,which was same thing, very soft
family, and she chose theopposite, Beth. So somehow both
of them flopped roles. You wouldthink that my mother was raised
in a military family, and myfather was raised with people
that just sat and quietly,peacefully, sat and enjoyed
life. It was a completeopposite, though. So my parents
switched roles, and my dadbecame like a person that wasn't

(03:13):
really involved in our lives. WeI don't have a lot of memories
of my dad. My dad was just veryquiet, and we didn't make much
money. And my dad was alwaysgone, working, but not making
much money, working. And my momwas constantly trying to figure
out, how do I take care of thesefive children with almost no
money? So cornbread and powderedmilk and that game, my mom's
only game for us was justdiscipline. She was raised

(03:35):
Catholic, very devout, then shebecame Mormon, even more devout,
and then her role in her lifewas, my job is to get these kids
back to God, back to heaven, andso all of it came through rigid
discipline. That's why I'mpeople who got my parents are
like, your mom's intense. She'sintense as hell. I was like,
yeah, she fucking real intense.

(03:56):
Like, so intense from the time Iwas younger and I was the
oldest. What did your dad do fora living? And I want you to talk
about your relationship a lot ofpeople I know, and I think this
is more of a male, male thingthan a female, male thing. In
terms of your parents, you had arocky relationship at some point
called antichrist. At somepoint, you punch your dad in the

(04:16):
face. Yeah, so my dad and I, soI was raised in Mormonism, and
my dad was a passive guy in thein the faith. My mom was, like,
very disciplined, like,checklist. Here's the checklist,
to heaven. My job is to get allof us back to heaven. And if we
don't, in Mormonism, the frameis really intense, because
everything for them is eternalin nature, which means the
belief system of the frame is,if you and I are in family and

(04:40):
we don't both make it. We breakthe family chain, and the whole
family is fucked. So everythingin the frame of Mormonism is
super fierce with do what'sright, do what's right, do
what's right. Long asschecklist. Do these things, and
then you earn the right and theglory and the grace of God. So
my mom, with that rigid bank,raised me that way in 2009

Garrett White (05:00):
After we'd lost our banking firms, and I was in
the darkest place I'd ever been,I started trail running, ultra
running. I'd been doing IronMan's Right? And they got in
Ultra running, and it was inUltra running, running 1015,
miles in the middle of thetrails in the mountains, I
started hearing this voice forthe first time my life, talking
to me. I didn't know if it wasmyself. I didn't know what it
was. And this voice became thisinspiration. Everything we did

(05:20):
with Wake Up Warrior transformedmy life. But at that time, I had
nothing, no money, an affair, myaddiction, just nothing. I had
nothing. All I had was run. Andthis voice at that time started
guiding me to see things aboutmyself, and the first thing it
did was truth. Like the onlything I had to offer the world
was truth. I had nothing else. Inever knew money. All my teams

(05:41):
are gone, all my companies aregone, all my money's gone. I
fucks on the money a ton ofpeople. My wife doesn't want to
doesn't trust me. She's pregnantwith our second daughter. My
affair is exposed. My life isexposed. So I have nothing to
offer anyone. And this voice inme said, The only thing we can
do is offer the truth, and we'regoing to start from that place.
And so long before social mediawas cool to tell your darkness,

(06:04):
I started speaking it, and partof that truth was leaving the
Mormon church. So let's,

Randall Kaplan (06:08):
let's talk about that. I mean, I want to go back
to and really cut up what youjust said in 10 different
stories there, because a lot, alot there to talk about. This is
not a religious show, but it'svery interesting to me to hear
about different people'sreligion. What's interesting
about Mormonism, and I've neverheard the Mormonism term, i is,

(06:29):
is that a term Mormonism, asopposed to

Garrett White (06:31):
Mormonism, Jewish or Christians, the Latter Day
Saints, okay, the Church ofJesus Christ, of Latter Day
Saints. And the short term forit is Mormons. Most of them
don't like to be called Mormons,but they're Mormons, and that's
what I was raised. It wasMormonism. And

Randall Kaplan (06:42):
can you explain the difference between being a
Mormon versus a Christian versusa Jewish? Absolutely.

Garrett White (06:46):
So Mormons believe that the the gospel of
Jesus Christ was lost, thatafter Christ, there was a
falling away, and that all thechurches were arguing. This is
the premise all the churcheswere arguing about truth, which
they still do today. Like Iwould consider myself a
Christian now, but I wouldn'thave considered myself a
Christian until three years ago.
I wouldn't even have consideredmyself a Christian when I was

(07:07):
Mormon. I'd have a relationshipwith Christ and a relationship
with God. I had a relationshipwith checklists of trying to be
righteous and a superioritycomplex, which will make sense
here in a second. So the premiseis a guy named Joseph Smith came
had a vision, and God came tohim and said, all the churches
are wrong. I'm going to give youthe whole church. And now your
job is to restore the gospel ofJesus Christ to the planet. And

(07:28):
Mormonism was born. Now thatwhole premise is what I was
raised in. We have the truth,the only truth, but there's also
a second book. So like theBible, there's a book called The
Book of Mormon. This is whereChristians as a whole, to the
Mormons, like, you can't add tothe Bible. The Mormons like, we
didn't add to it. There wasanother book of Scripture in the

(07:51):
Americas that was based on JesusChrist visits here and the
visits in the Bible. So thewhole premise of Mormonism is
that the restored gospel ofJesus Christ is found only in
the Mormon faith. So I wasraised in this place of being
constantly told you're the onlyones that have the truth. You're
the we are the best, because Godchose you were born into the

(08:13):
Mormon church, so you didsomething right before you got
here. Now I didn't have any badbasis. My life did not
represent, nor did my family'slife, that we show any fruit,
really, that we were superior toanything. But this was the
energy that I was raised inwhich I didn't understand why
other Christian faiths wouldlook at Mormons the way they
did, until I left the MormonChurch in 2009 and then I got to

(08:33):
experience a whole bunch ofother things. And for the first
time, I can see, oh, I now seewhy a lot of people think they
don't believe in Christ. Don'tbelieve in Christ, which they
do, and I also see why a lot ofpeople have a hard problem, hard
time with the Mormon frame.
That's what led to the collisionwith my father. So

Randall Kaplan (08:52):
I have one of our closest friends was raised
in the Mormon Church, met hiswife in the Mormon church. They
were both Mormons, and there'smany behaviors that are and
somewhat unique to the moremature. One is you can't drink,
right? And there's no premaritalsex, right? Even though, from
what I understand, and I'm nottrying to make a generalization,

(09:15):
I'd be interested in yourthoughts on this, that
premarital sex does happen. Ithappens especially with
athletes. I know a lot ofathletes at BYU, and with that,
that happens, but with our withour friends, they woke up one
day and they decided that theMormon church is not right for
them, and they left the MormonChurch, both of them together,

(09:38):
and they caused a very bigdissension, divide between their
family, and said, How could youdo this? And it took a while to
repair that relationship. Is itcommon for families to leave the
Mormon church where they say,Okay, this lifestyle isn't for
me, and as I get to be an adult,I thought, Okay, well maybe I do
want to drink. I do want to havepremarital sex. I do. Want to do

(10:00):
other behaviors 100%

Garrett White (10:02):
you can understand like, so Mormon faith
operates like the Jewish faith.
So Jews and like, I'm in aneighborhood they were moved
into in golden beach is Jewish,right? So, and my aunt's Jewish,
and everyone that I know isJewish, they have a very tight
connection inside of the faith.
It's not that they only dobusiness with Jewish people, but
most Jewish businessmen I knowhave a very good relationship

(10:22):
with other Jewish businessmen.
Mormons operate the same sothere's a ton of fund managers,
investment bankers. There's tonsreason why the Mormon church is
worth what it's worth $160billion

Randall Kaplan (10:35):
which many people don't know. By the way,
there was this expose in theWall Street Journal. They're
very secretive,

Garrett White (10:40):
very secretive.
There's a ton of money in theMormon church. Like they're the
wealthiest Christian, nonChristian. What I mean? The
Christian world doesn't acceptthem as Christian. They says
Jesus Christ on the label. Tome, I know Mormons. They believe
in Jesus Christ, even if youthink they don't. But inside
that frame, like that network,business, family relationships,
everyone I did business with allmy strategic partners, most of

(11:00):
our clients, everybody wasMormon. You keep it in. It's
part of how the wealth hasgrown. Because everything's kept
inside of the circle. I'm gonnado a deal with you. I'm gonna do
a deal with you. You're Mormon.
There's an automatic sense oftrust. Oh, you're Mormon, I'm
Mormon. Let's do business. Oh,you're not Mormon. We might
still do business, but if youwere Mormon, we probably for

(11:21):
sure, would do business. So whenyou choose to extract yourself
from that environment, it's notlike being at a local community
Christian Church, where you goto Vu here in Miami, and then
you decide you don't want to goto Vu anymore. No one knows you
left, because nobody really knewyou were there. In a Mormon
church, everything isregistered. It's like from like

(11:44):
you are. You are in the mix. Sowhen you choose to extract,
you're extracting yourself fromthe mafia. Now I'm not saying
that Mormons are mafia. Theenergy, though, is very family.
Mafia tight. So when you sayyou're going to leave families
will disown their children. Wedidn't talk to our families for
five years. This led to thefight in my father's house,

(12:07):
because my dad decides, when weme and my wife decide to leave
the Mormon Church, which wasunheard of on any sides of our
family. Now mind you, half thepeople that were saying they
were Mormon were doing all thisshit you're not supposed to do
as a Mormon. I was justfollowing a voice. It wasn't I
thought the Mormons were bad orwrong or awful. It wasn't even,
like, I don't want thislifestyle. I heard this voice in
me that said, you're done. Sowent to my wife and I said, Kay,

(12:31):
I'm done. She's like, whoo,thank goodness, because I was
never in I was like, okay, shelike, I thought you'd be done a
long time ago, so I'm cool.
She's more Buddhist. She's noteven Christian. She just kind of
send out. Woman listens to Godin her way. So when we leave, my
dad holds a meeting at thehouse, and he says, gather all
the family. So the familyoutcomes. I remember, my dad's
not aggressive. My dad's verypassive. He did the opposite of

(12:52):
my grandfather. So we show up tothe house, and all the family's
gathered, and they have a familyhome evening. That's what's
called a Mormon of faith, gatherfamily, have a meeting, talk
about God. There's a particularstory in the Book of Mormon that
talks about a guy named korhor.
Korriho was a guy who was tryingto stir up trouble, kind of made
like Saul was in the Bible,according to Christian faith in

(13:13):
the New Testament, stirring upproblems with the Christians.
Saul becomes Paul. Christianfaith builds on Paul. In the
Book of Mormon, there's a guynamed korhor who's causing
problems. So my dad decides thatthe lesson he wants to give that
day is a story about korri. Nowthe intention of this entire
thing, my wife and I are sittingright there. My siblings are
sitting there. My dad deliversthis message, and he's coming

(13:35):
right at me with heat. Neverseen my dad. My dad doesn't get
physical. I was very violent,very physical. I was the
opposite of my father. I waslike my grandfather. So my dad
starts to step up to me in themiddle of this family meeting.
Veins are popping out on hisneck. Face is bled red. Fists
are clenched, but I'm gonna sitin their calm. So we never

(13:56):
fought. We sat there. My mom'sholding him back, and my dad's I
rate now I understand why,because, in Mormon tradition,
the oldest son, I've now brokenthe family chain, and everything
my parents, in their spiritualframe, had worked for has was
being shattered before theireyes, and the storyline to them

(14:17):
is I've just crushed Ouropportunity as a family to be
together for eternity. So it wasa huge deal for my parents. So
looking now back at it, I canunderstand what my father's way
was, but he comes up to me, andI said, Listen, if you swing at
me, this will be the worstdecision you've ever made.

(14:39):
Please stop. And my mom'sholding his arms. He's so angry.
I've never seen my father'sangry my whole life, because I'm
a typical very angry person. Atthat time my life, I kind of
liked it, because I was like,Where the fuck was this guy?
Like my whole young life growingup? Where was this man that was
supposed to lead me? Where wasit dude? When I. Was getting

(15:00):
fucked up after school every dayin Stockton, where was the that
was supposed to protect me? No,you were a fat, soft, diabetic
dude who fucking hit and now youwant to get tough with me. You
want to get tough with me now,after I make one of the hardest
decisions that I've ever made,to leave a faith in everyone I
know, and to be abandoned byeveryone in business, all of our

(15:21):
family. Now you're gonna be atough guy. So my wife's sitting
there, all my siblings aresitting there. No one can
believe what's happening.
They're like, what is going on.
And that was last time I talkedabout Dad for five years, walked
out of the house, packed ourshit. We moved Arizona. We were
living in Utah at the time.
What's

Randall Kaplan (15:39):
the number one piece of advice you would tell
somebody at any age, could be aparent listening today, could be
someone who's grown up and hasstill a tough relationship with
their parent. What's the numberone piece of advice you would
tell people the best way tobridge my relationship with my
mother or father is truth,truth,

Garrett White (15:59):
and unfortunately, with truth like
because a lot of people willbridge relationships and they'll
surrender truth, meaning theywon't tell the truth.

Randall Kaplan (16:06):
But what does that mean? Hey, you've been an
asshole to me as a kid, or, youknow, you were unfair to me, you
were mean, you were cruel.

Garrett White (16:13):
I think the first thing that has to happen is you
have to come to terms of thefact that your parents were your
parents. Your parents get you.
Had no choice. Your parents areyour parents. They they birthed
you. They gave you a body. It'sthe same feel I have for my five
children. I'm a steward of mychildren until they have the
opportunity to go choose theirown path into their own life. So
for me, like we we still to thisday, I'm gonna love my mom and
dad like I do that. Buy themhouses, buy them cars. Take care

(16:36):
of their life, make sure they'rein abundance, because they can't
take it themselves that way. Butstill, even to this day, my
father and I maybe have a fiveminute conversation per year.
One, one, that's it. And mymother and I probably, what does
that look like? That five minuteconversations? Not much. It's
like surface. How are you?

Randall Kaplan (16:54):
Hi. How you doing? Bye, great. Okay, see,
that's

Garrett White (16:57):
it. And so people like, Well, does that make you
upset? I said, Now we have theopposite experience. Of my my
wife's parents, because mywife's parents also when we
left, because they were Mormon,but they came back across with
us over the years, and theychose a relationship with us,
and we've gotten to a place asparents where, like I was as

(17:18):
adults, me and my wife werelike, I'm not gonna I'm not
gonna fight for a relationshipwhere I'm constantly put in a
place where I'm told I'm wrongfor doing my life this way. And
the thing was interesting aboutit was, I was like, Mom, look at
the fruit of my life. Get offyour religious checklist for a
second and look at the fruit ofmy life. Look at the impact I am

(17:39):
making on the world. Look at allthe rest of our siblings. Bundle
them all together, all of ourcousins in every direction. Take
everyone you fucking know, andthey don't have one basket of
the impact that me and my wifeare making on the world. I'm not
trying to see this in place andmake me better. I'm willing to
do shit no one else is willingto do. Of all our family, I'm
the one, and possibly I'm thechain breaker of poverty and

(18:02):
scarcity and guilt and shame andobligation that you all are so
trapped in, to the point that mywife won't go to family
reunions. She refuses, becausewhen we go there, it's something
but judgment. It's justjudgment. And I'm like, I
understand, and she's not tryingto. It's the world that she was
raised in. So I know thequestion was, like, how do you
repair it? The truth is, it'snot broken, but it's not

(18:26):
awesome. I'm not upset at thesame time, I'm not going to put
myself and I watch so manypeople because it's family, but
like, Well, my job is to putmyself back into relationship
with these people. The challengeis, if my vibration is here and
my family is down here, thenthat means for me to come into
their space, I have to suffer.
That is a deliberate choice tobring myself back into this. And
so many families are spendingtime. I'm sitting in California

(18:48):
right before Thanksgiving. I hadto go to the DMV to get my
driver's license issue. Fun. Ohmy god, it's a nightmare. They
closed down another one. There'slike 600 people waiting in line.
So I'm sitting there talking topeople, and I'm listening to
people. It's right beforeThanksgiving, people just
getting on the phone, arguingwith other family members. It's
like there's a tradition. Wehave to go be with people
because we were born withpeople. We still have family,
tons of family. It's just ourfamily of choice. Part of that

(19:11):
is my wife's family. They chooseto be part of our lives. My
mother in law flies to us everyother month for the past 10
years, my mother's come to usonce in 10 years, I'm like, I'm
raising five children. I'mrunning three companies. I don't
have time to fly to the middleof nowhere and go hang out in
this energy that the whole time,all I can think about is, When

(19:34):
are we leaving from this place,which is hard because people
want to be connected to theirfamily. But I've the message to
constantly have is you have twofamilies here. The family are
born. You were blood born too,and you have the family you
choose. There's a reason, likeeven getting divorced, it's
like, okay, so you made adecision. But if you're honest
with yourself, why are you goingto the family? Union, guilt,

(19:55):
obligation. Feel like you haveto. Yeah, unless you don't, and
can you repair that? Yes, do Ifeel like there's a season
coming where I'll repair that? Ithink so I feel it, is it this
year? No, could it be next year?
Could? Could my parents passbefore that happens? Could? And
people hear that from me, that'scold. I was like, I'm grateful

(20:18):
to my parents for who they builtme to be. I'm grateful for that.
At the same time as a 48 yearold man living my life now, I
don't choose to put myself inenvironments where the
environment itself is notconducive to me, my wife or my
children.

Randall Kaplan (20:35):
So many people I know who run into drug addiction
and have emotional problems.
Later, was sexually molested asa kid. You were sexually
molested for six years by youruncle. Can you tell us when that
started? How you started? Howthat can you tell us if you're
comfortable with some of thedetails? Because I think a lot
of the details on it, peoplewant to know. Well, what exactly
does that mean? I know it'sthere's a spectrum out and then

(20:57):
how did that affect you?

Garrett White (21:00):
So my uncle lived three houses down from us. He
was bodybuilder. He was anaggressive dude. He was the
opposite my dad mom's side, ordad's side, my dad's side. And
he was he's passed away now,pancreatic cancer died years
ago, but he was like thismasculine figure, and his boys
were all very soft. I was veryaggressive with a soft father.

(21:21):
So I was actually drawn to themasculine energy that he
demonstrated. He was big, he wasthick, he was kind of angry, and
just it was something I wasdrawn to as a young man. I was
an athlete. I got fights all thetime. Like I was just drawn to
that energy, like it was naturalfor me to be like, Hey, I'm in
your space. So we were six yearsold. His sons were about my age,
and we had had no problems. Ididn't know anything. There was

(21:44):
nothing like nothing. I had nothad any issues with him. He was
super aggressive and rude to hisboys, but he wasn't like that to
me. I was like his prodigy. Iwas his like little guy that
just followed him around. And wewere in two different situations
that began one of which was atmy grandmother's house, and he
pulled me into a bathroom atsix.

Randall Kaplan (22:04):
I mean, physically say, get in, yeah,
with your arm. But I wouldn't

Garrett White (22:07):
have known any different. I'm six years old. I
don't have anyone talk to. Idon't know. I have no exposure
to sex, of anything, any kindmasturbation, anything. I'm six.
Fuck. Don't know about any ofthis. That was the very first
moment made me suck his cock,punched me in the head and
threatened to tell tell me Iwill kill you if you tell anyone

(22:29):
the images of this, the emotionof his gone from me because how
much work I've done. But there Iwas a six year old boy laying on
the floor in the bathroom. Ihave the images of his penis in
front of my face, erect. Come onmy face, and I'm fucking six. I
have a five year old, right? Andthis shit went on for two years.

(22:51):
By the time it all ended, I tookeverything, boxed it up, and put
it way down, and people died.
Why are you so fucking angry allthe time? There was a source of
pain that was so intense thislittle boy was like a game
controller. He's like, we'regonna turn him into a mean
motherfucker. So this shit neverhappens. The challenge was, I
was still in this weirdrelationship with all powerful
men, if you were big orpowerful, so my answer was, get

(23:14):
bigger to protect myself. Nodifferent than a woman who's
raped will tend to get fat. Shetries to make herself
unattractive and pull away, sothat this never happens again.
And I only know this becauseI've spoken about this publicly
now for seven or eight years,and I'll speak about it in
groups of women, or I'll speakabout in groups of men, and I'll
share inevitable response. Thefirst time I shared on stage at

(23:36):
my men's event, I was like,Okay, we're going full sand. I'm
just gonna share the wholething. I said, What I'm about to
share with you is graphic, orwhat about share with you as a
facts I'm about to share withyou as a truth. I'm not sharing
with you for you to feel sorryfor me or to have sympathy for
me. God's plan is God's plan,and it turned me into who I am.
And all of you've gone throughexperiences in your past as
children that are dark. They'renot what you desired. And some

(24:00):
are going to be in the range inthe spectrum. Some are going to
be real ugly, and some are goingto be not so ugly, but you're
going to felt like they wereugly. Either way, you're all
going to feel the same. So Ijust shared with everybody. I
said, I'm not asking you toraise your hands. I'm not asking
you to but if some of you in theroom have had experiences like
this, I need you to understandyou can move past this. It is
possible, and we have tools hereat Wake up Word to help you move

(24:23):
past this. Part of the reasonwhy I was so passionate about
building what I built wasbecause I was trying to set
myself free, because this oneevent was fucking me up
completely. Was I gay? Am Istraight? The fuck does this
mean my sexuality, with my wife,was constantly in this weird
flux, because my mind hadblended sex, intimacy and love
as the same conversation. So Icouldn't hang out with you,

(24:47):
Randall and feel intimate withyou, connected in authenticity
and feel love for you without mybrain saying you want to fuck
Randall. I was like, I don'twant to fuck Randall. So why? I
can't feel this with him, soI'll push you away. You. I kind
of push people away. So ifintimacy ever showed up, I was
like, love, intimacy, sex. Idon't want to fuck them. Bye. So
I didn't have anybody close tome. So I was alone all the time,

(25:08):
even around 10 1000s of people,I was still alone in my own
home. I was alone. My wife wouldtry to be intimate with me, and
I thought that meant have sex. Icouldn't make the distinction.
And where it really becameproblematic is when my teenagers
were, when my 17 year old firstbecame like 1112 and she started
growing breasts, and this wholething came back up again, which
was when I really started takingon healing, work with it,

(25:30):
because I was so I had tickledher back from the time she was
little, put her to sleep, lovedher, hugged her, kissed her on
her mouth. Just loved the show.
And then she turned 1112 and Iwas like, this thing turned on.
You're not a fucking pervert,you're not a fucking pedophile.
You are not that fucking guy.
And so I just pushed my daughteraway. And the part that breaks

(25:52):
my heart about the whole thing,it's because, like, typical
behavior with all girls, if daddoesn't fucking show up, she
will go try to find masculineleadership. And then my daughter
was raped. Oh God.

Unknown (26:13):
So I'm sitting there to this situation going, Dude, if
you don't fix this shit in you.
You got three other girls, andwe did come to support my
daughter, and

Garrett White (26:28):
it was so much trying to give her love and
energy that she needed andhealing. But I was broken still,
and you can't give healing ifyou're broke. A broken man
cannot lead his wife, he can'tlead his children. And most men
I meet are broken. They may notbe broken this way, but they're
broken in all kinds of ways, andwe're in a society. Where dudes
are like, don't cry. You're apussy. So, like, my whole life
was like, that was like, Don'tfucking show emotion, don't cry.

(26:50):
Just be stoic, be the man. Don'tfucking be emotional. Just let
this shit kill you from theinside out. Let everybody else
be okay, or you just snap intorage, which is why I was so
angry and so violent all thetime, because I had this thing
in me so but it happens. Thisthing happens to my daughter,
and now I'm like, Okay, I haveto stop this. And that put me

(27:11):
deep, psychedelic world,meditation, energy therapy,
therapists, healing over andover and over and over again,
doing everything I possiblycould to try to expose this and
heal it, because it's one thingto tell the truth about
something, it's another thing toactually resolve it. And I
wasn't, I wasn't figuring outhow to do that. And the only

(27:31):
thing that resolved this for mewas God. There was no therapy,
there was no treatment, therewas no not enough medicine I
could take to get high asfucking kite and try to talk to
God, there was a simplesurrender, listen, let it go and
give it to me. And that happenedjust over under three years ago.

(27:52):
And for the first time in mylife, I felt free from the
inside out from this thing. Andmy parents knew, didn't know,
but my mom had this sick senseof she i She always hated my
uncle. She did. I didn't, shedidn't know. And my brain had
blocked out so much of it as akid, and as I all started coming
back, I started seeingeverything and fit, which is a

(28:14):
typical response from peoplebeen abused, when they get
little, their brain will blockout what occurred, and they'll
have no memories until all theirmemories come flooding back, and
the brain breaks and it releasesthe truth, and the truth will
set you free. But the truth andfreedom that I was looking for
couldn't come from you. Itcouldn't come from my wife. It
couldn't come with a therapist.
It couldn't come from aworkshop. All those things need

(28:36):
help. There was a place tosurrender. I had to just let go
and let God take it from me.
People hear that and they'relike, that's mystical. I was
like, motherfucker, you don'tunderstand. I invested millions
of dollars to try to fix this,hundreds of hours, and ended up
in this place where I had nomore answers. And in that place,

(28:58):
I had my encounter with God, myfirst real encounter, and it was
supernatural, and it wastranscendent, and for the first
time, I fell free, and the worldthat I saw completely changed. I
saw my wife for the first time,and I suffered because of that,
because of how many years Iwould project my darkness, onto

(29:20):
this beautiful woman, mychildren, seeing my children for
who they really were and howmany years I couldn't see them
because of this veil in my ownmind, my inability to see
through my own Pain, my pain andour pain becomes nothing more
than this window through whichwe see the world. And all of a
sudden, this window changed. NowI could be I could be injured

(29:41):
with you. I could love you andmy mind was not thinking sexual
thoughts. And I could haveintimate relationship with my
daughters, all four of them, andnot have it be a sexual twisted
reality in my brain. I couldlead men and love them and hug
them and encourage them. Withouthaving these twisted thoughts, I

(30:01):
could be with other people, andI had my mind constantly running
with these sexual ideas andtwisted, dark thoughts in my own
brain. But the process wasfucking excruciating, but I was
committed to being free,

Randall Kaplan (30:15):
an incredible story, and one of the things
about it that I love the best isthe rawness, the vulnerability
and the fact you got up and agroup of people men explain what
happened to you. I think it'sincredible about the amount of
people have been sexuallyabused, so many who haven't
reported it for a lot ofreasons. And that goes echoes

(30:37):
men and women, and it also goesto women who have been raped, my
daughter's in college, andsomehow came up in conversation
with a specific person, one oftheir friends. She wouldn't tell
me who it was. So they were at aparty, and the guy raped her,
and it just made me so angry.
And I said, Well, did she reportit? No, why not? Because she's
afraid. It's a big deal. There'sa police record. She was worried

(31:00):
that her name was gonna be inthe newspaper. I said, that's
just so maddening. She shouldreport it. You gotta encourage
her to dad. There's no way. Ithink anybody who's been
sexually abused should reportit. I think I know people are
afraid. I know they have fear,but I think Justice should be
done. I think anyone whosexually abuses somebody else

(31:22):
should go to prison. We all knowwhat happens in prison to people
who rape somebody else, and it'spunishment well deserved. It's
not quite what they deserve, butit's the start of a punishment
that I think they deserve.

Garrett White (31:33):
I mean, it's a it's a very difficult topic,
because a lot of people who havegone through it, the experience
of having to relive it is sofierce, and so a lot of the fear
to go relive it is somethingthey'd rather not experience
because the pain of it was hardenough the first time, and now
they've learned how to cope. Theonly challenge is they've

(31:54):
learned how to cope, they've notlearned how to live. And if
freedom is the outcome, iffreedom is the purpose of this
life. If God placed us here tobe free, we were not put here to
be slaves. We were not put hereto struggle and survive. We were
put here to create. Did it meanwe're gonna avoid pain? No,
we're gonna have pleasure. Yes,but the pursuit was power, power
to create. Dominion in thisearth. Book of Genesis, God gave

(32:15):
man dominion to rule over theearth. The problem is, most of
us can't even dominion anddominate ourselves. We have no
dominion over our own lives. Andthese events that occur for men
and women, they're just astraumatic on both sides. And
there's so much support forwomen me too. Movements and all
these movements that are builtup to try to empower women to
tell the truth, what the fuckare they doing for dudes? None.

(32:37):
Because to be a man and admitthis, you have to be incredibly
powerful. No dude wants to admitI had a cock in my mouth and I'm
not gay. No dude wants to saythis. They don't want to say my
uncle did this, or my or thishappened to me, or my sister did
this. A number of dudes that Iknow who were by babysitters and
nannies forced to have sex withtheir nannies. When they're
like, 789, 10 years old. They'relike, bro and but what does that

(32:58):
sound like? Oh, you were forcedto have sex, bro. Come on. That
doesn't fly a man world. It'slike in man code. In the in the
world, men are not supported inhaving these situations. And
typically, when a man comes tothat place, he's so broken that
to acknowledge it not onlyshatters the masculine frame,
but he gets no fucking support.
None. Are you kidding me? Men'sHealth Awareness Day has now

(33:18):
been covered up with LGBTQ. Wedon't fucking worry about the
guys now. Let's worry abouteverybody else under the sun. We
just gotta eliminate the dudes.
You're toxic. Shut the fuck up.
You don't have any problems yet.
Right now, 70% of the divorcesare women leaving men and women
are complaining every day to me,there's no powerful men. We are
not doing anything to empowerthem all. There is is empower

(33:42):
women, empower women, empowerwomen, empower women. Empower
women, empower women. Fuck thedudes. Yet at the same time, all
these women are upset becausethere's no powerful dudes.
You're part of the fuckingproblem. You keep calling these
men to fall. You're not callingthem to rise. You're not digging
greatness out of these men.
You're not trying to pullgreatness out, you're trying to
suppress it. And then powerfulmen in business, what do we face

(34:03):
with the choice? Well, Stoke,lock up. We have a small little
circle that we might tell someof the truth to, and we operate
with all these skeletons in thecloset. Me, I got none. I'm the
most powerful motherfucker. I'llgive a fuck about money.
Billionaire or not. I roll up inall the dead bodies have been
exposed in my life, and once Irealized that the most powerful

(34:24):
place I could be was truth.

Unknown (34:27):
Because where truth is, God is and where God is,
transformation

Garrett White (34:33):
is possible.
Jewish, Christian, Muslim, don'tcare. Don't have any belief in
any of it. That's fine. Yourgateway to transformation is the
truth, but the truth is hardbecause the truth is vulnerable,
and the truth opens you up topersecution, and the truth opens
you up to being judged. Yetmostly judgments you get isn't
judgment about you, it's thefact that in your freedom,

(34:53):
you're exposing theincarceration of people around
you.

Randall Kaplan (34:57):
Another thing that people do. That gets them
into trouble later on is drugs.
How young were you when youfirst tried drugs? What did that
look like? What was it and then,at what point did you stop?

Garrett White (35:08):
15 and I was never in heroin or meth. I
didn't get crazy with that. Iwas a pill guy. Opioids were
like my deal. I had a friendthat would come to overdose in
college to scare the shit out ofme, so I backed away died. Yep,
he died in the basement of hisparents house, and nobody found
him for five days by afireplace. So you can only

(35:30):
imagine the carnage they walkedinto. So I had had kind of an in
and out relationship withopioids for about 15 years to
escape all your issues. It wasreally easy for me, because
nobody knew you were taking itsmoking. Everybody knows smoking
weed, every nose you're shootingup. Needles, everybody knows.
But pills. I was an operator.

Unknown (35:50):
I'd take two or three perks and just be good. It was
enough to mellow me out, but Icould still produce and go.

Garrett White (35:57):
But then I two becomes three, three becomes
four. Four Four becomes yourpile and seven in your mouth at
the same time, at some point,your body starts to feel this,
and it becomes a problem. So Iwalked away from those about
eight, nine years ago. But thentrying to step away from
alcohol, I got into anothersubstance called feel frees.
They were promotedentrepreneurs. Is like the

(36:17):
healthy alternative to alcohol.
Now doing and talk about this.
Probably gonna feel free sue me,but fuck you guys, whatever,
here's reality. I didn't Youdidn't do anything wrong. I
abused. It was a substance. Itwas just my addictive
personality. They hadrecommended dosage of this, a
kava crater mix is fermented.
But when taking high enoughdoses like morphine, they
recommend one a day. Of course,my addicted battle personality,

(36:41):
I got to 12, my doctors likeyou're basically morphing all
day. But again, I'm an operatorwith opioids, which means I can
just operate and create, operateand create. My wife came to me
two years ago. This is when Ikicked that one and she came to
me flat out. She said, Listen,we have everything. We have the
money, the cars, the houses dripto travel, the jewelry we have,
the kids, we have everything forthe last year, I can't feel you.
I can't feel you so much to thepoint that for the last six

(37:06):
months, my mind has beenwandering. I've been thinking
about fucking other men. I'vebeen thinking about being with
other powerful men, men who cansee me and men I can feel. If
you don't fix this shit, I'mout, and I use a statement of
Wake of worry, which is, if theking doesn't rise, the Kingdom
dies, right? And my wife startedtexting me every day, if the

(37:28):
king doesn't rise, the Kingdomdies. And don't worry, the Queen
leaves with the children beforeit burns. I mean, what the fuck.
But I needed it. I needed it. Icouldn't hear it any other way.
Most men cannot hear they thinktheir wives are critical
bitches. The truth is, thesewomen know the truth of who we
are. And when we slip off thepedestal of King and we leave

(37:49):
the throne, and we findourselves out fucking around
outside the castle, the Queenstays in the castle and going,
Hey, what the fuck are youdoing? You're a critical bitch.
Don't talk in that way. You'reout playing with the whores
outside the castle. Again, Ihave been sitting here carrying
this goddamn throne with allthese children. Well, you wander
the fuck out there and don'tWhat are you doing? But when

(38:11):
you're in that place, you can'tget it until it's aggressive.
That's why women technically hadto leave before dudes get it,
and they're like, fuck about tolose everything. I'm a founder
waiting for I teach this shit.
People like, Well, what did thatdo for your brand? Nothing. I've
never said I was perfect. I'mnot a pastor trying to be in a
plastic box. I'm just living andI'm gonna live my life out loud,

(38:33):
and you're gonna see all of it.
So I was very open about that.
But also, for about threemonths, I thought I was gonna
lose everything again. I wasgonna leave. She had money.
She's powerful. She has her ownbusiness. She doesn't need my
money. And that was the piecethat started the real breakdown
and breakthrough for me in thelast two years to just a deeper
commitment to my truth in Godand really asking myself

(38:54):
questions, why do you keep goingback to these things, pressure,
stress, same reasons everyentrepreneur does. But the
problem is, when you're usingstuff that you can actually
operate with, you think you canoperate, but you get dull, not
as sharp, not as clean, not asfocused, and any truth of God
trying to come through you getsdistorted. So I'm having this

(39:15):
conversation with God and like,Man, I'm doing everything you're
telling you. You said, No,you're doing 10% of what I tell
you, You Keep Shooting all thepartners I'm trying to bring to
you, you keep pushing away thatI'm sending to help you. And

Unknown (39:27):
the worst part is the one woman who wants to feel all
of you is dying inside.

Garrett White (39:34):
So you have a choice, just like you've always
had a choice, I'm never going toforce you to do anything. What
do you want? And again, I gotreally clear about what that
was, and what we've done thelast two years has been equal to
or more than what we did in theprevious 10 so this path to that
men run into, and entrepreneursin particular, at the high
level, is that we have beentaught to only share half the

(39:56):
truth. And so everybody hasthese skills, these clauses,
full skeletons, and. And allthis dark shit that they don't
look through with. I'm on thefront side. Look good. Shoes.
Look good. Wife looks good.
Everybody looks good, except forbehind closed doors. I know
because these do I get thesetexts every day, this powerful
dude, the names of people whocome to me that I don't talk
about to anybody. I'm a vault.

(40:20):
The fares. Guys are in theproblems. Guys are in the
struggles they're in. They'rereal. But where's the guy to go?
Well,

Randall Kaplan (40:25):
let me, let me, let me ask about that, because I
think this is very important.
I'm 56 and I think there's afulcrum in terms of when people
get married. I think you'regetting married between 20 and
30 years old. I think you lovethat person. Obviously you can
envision the future with thatperson. I think what people
don't really understand is, nomatter how perfect your marriage
seems at that time, and it maybe perfect, you're making a bet

(40:49):
on how you're going to growindividually as people. Yes,
because people do growindividually, and then they grow
apart. And as a result of allthis, I think there's a window
between sort of 37 and 41 I'mseeing it in with my own
friends, my own relationships. Iremember when I was getting

(41:09):
divorced to my wife, Laura, Iwent to my rabbi and I said,
Hey, this is what's happening.
And no one knew that there wereany issues behind the scene at
all. And every marriage hasissues, and marriages work. But
what he said to me, Garrett, wasyour divorce is going to cause

(41:31):
people to get divorced. And Isaid, why is that? He said,
Because you have everything. Youknow. You have beautiful house,
you have money, you get alongwell, which we did, for the most
part, and that's exactly whathappened. Most of our friends
now divorced within four or fiveyears. I'm not saying we were

(41:52):
the cause, but I think it, it.
People look at you and say,okay, gosh, you know, I'm not as
happy as I should be. Yeah, mymom has said to me time, you
know, we all have a right to behappy, and you only get one go
around in life. Yeah, many of myfriends are the people I know
who are okay in their marriage.

(42:12):
Many of my friends in theirmarriage don't like their wives.
Women don't like their husbands.
Yep, I think there's a fewreasons why people don't get
divorced. I think kids, youknow, they think, all right,
your kids are not going to beokay. And I think the message
there is, when the plane's goingdown, you have to put on your
mask before you can take care ofyour kids. I think people are
afraid to be by themselves.

(42:33):
Loneliness, I certainly was. Andthen the third one is money. You
either have too much or toolittle. And then there's usually
a war the money. And I I didn'thave a war with my wife, and I
think that's something that alot of men need to really think
about, is there's a lot ofemotion when people get
divorced, obviously, and peoplefight most about the money. And

(42:55):
when you fight about the money,and you fight till the end and
fight till the death, there's somany scars there that you can't
co parent as as you should,what's your advice to everyone
out there listening to 10s of1000s of people who are in these
marriages or relationships,particularly marriages, with
kids who are unhappy, what wouldyou tell them in A short, bite

(43:19):
size, direct way. Should theyget divorced, or should they try
to work it out?

Garrett White (43:25):
They should tell the truth. I guess, where it all
starts, tell the truth, like, ifyou look at what happens inside
all relationships, exactly,monogamous marriage is like one
of the craziest ideas we've everhad. But if you can pull it off,
if you can pull it off, you'resuperheroes in a world of people
who can't get it together,you're a superhero. So and I'm
like, listen, most of the guysthat have worked with one on one

(43:46):
the last like five years, 60%have gotten divorced, and I've
married many of them, and I'mgonna marry a bunch of them this
year to these superpower womenthat they're with now. And I
watched the suffering, and Iexperienced the suffering myself
in my marriage for over 12years, and I know what that
feels like. And there's thisdesire to stay together under a
lie. The problem is not thatthey're getting divorced. The

(44:09):
problem is they're stayingmarried under a lie, which is, I
don't really want to be withyou. I don't want to be with
you. There was a painful, superpainful, very painful, for my
wife to say in therapy, listen,it's not that I don't want to
fuck I just don't want to fuckhim.

Unknown (44:26):
I was like, Oh, shit,

Garrett White (44:29):
that's heavy.
This beautiful woman doesn'twant to sleep with me, but wants
to be taken just not by me as adude. You're like, what the fuck
at least it was honest though. Iwas like, okay, at least we can
get some this was us, like six,seven years ago, getting to
truth each other because theoption of divorce was on the
table in 2016 2019 we talkedabout it again in 2022 it's not
powerful relationships. Thatconversation is going to come up

(44:52):
where, hey, two people aregrowing in their own soul path,
and we're trying to keepourselves connected. You. But in
that place, what I would say isthis, before you get divorced,
pretend the following. What areyou committed to in marriage?
What do you say? What do youwant in a partner? Then before
you just say, Fuck. You invitethem into that picture. Talking

(45:15):
to my wife, I said, I want fourthings. One, I want to be in a
relationship with a woman has apurpose beyond me and our
children. And our children. Two,I'll be in a relationship with a
woman who we can beauthentically all of ourselves,
our dark and our light, our fullbullshit. You're a bitch, I'm an
asshole. We can be that, andwe're not running away at the
same time. We can be inspiring,this aspirational and all the
great things. Three, I want toco create something with this

(45:36):
woman, to do something together.
And four, TTF, tell me, touchme. Fuck me. I am not a bad
looking man. Tell me I'm thefucking man as a dude. I want to
hear that when I work this hard.
I want you walking and be like,Hey, thank you. You're amazing.
Most women don't do that becauseif the husband's egos are
already too big, I don't want totell him this yet. The only

(45:56):
thing we actually want at theend of the day is the one woman
we cared about us. I don't wannabe with this vagina. I wanna be
with you. Please just tell methat I'm doing good. Just tell
me. Touch me. Touch me on myleg. When you walk in a room,
touch my arm. Sit by me, putyour hand on me. I didn't say
sexual. Just touch me. Andthird, fuck me, because way I
feel loved, it's when we havesex. If we don't have sex, I
don't feel loved. So gettinginto that dichotomy, what are

(46:19):
you committed to? And then don'tplay it from who she is or who
he is, and then invite them intothis picture. But your
commitment is to go to thepicture with or without them.
You're my first choice. Youdon't want to go that's fine.
I'm going to go here. I'm goingto have this. I want you to be
there with me if you don't wantto go there, okay, I'm still
going to go there with orwithout you, but you're my first

(46:42):
choice. If you choose not to bemy first choice, fair enough,
you're a free agent intoyourself. Choose your path. My
wife and I, even to this day,every year, we'll sit down and
say, Okay, we still in becauseif I'm not your number one
choice, I would be the first oneto pack your bags. I'll give you
all the money you want, and Ilike to meet this guy, this
motherfuckers got to be asavage. Because if I'm number

(47:03):
two, I want to meet number one.
I can gracefully take defeat,and I can assess and go, Well,
you're better than me. Good job.
Here she is. Vice versa. Ifshe's not my number choice,
should have the same thing withme. If I'm not your number one
woman, you don't want to be withme. I'm not going to sit around
and beg you. Around

Unknown (47:23):
and beg you. You go leave. Go be with her. This is
incredibly

Garrett White (47:29):
challenging, because the level of truth that
you have to sit in to be thathonest with somebody that you
know when you speak your truththat will hurt them, but you
also be ready to receive thattruth. It doesn't go one way. My
wife shares, shared her darkest,deepest truths with me.
Suppressed anger and frustrationfor 20 years, and it came all
out of me for six monthsstraight, two years ago, every

(47:52):
day, triggers from affair, from15 years ago, all of the shit,
and I had to show I was manenough to sit and take it. And
at the end of that, what I willtell you is a principle
biblically, which is one flesh,but my wife and I found was
something I thought wasimpossible, impossible, and I
don't know if it's possible.
It's something that's notpossible after divorce. It's

(48:13):
just to get there. No matter whoyou are, you're gonna have to
reset. So if you get divorced,you're gonna reset. You're gonna
have to find this path. Anyways,you're gonna go through the same
bullshit, just a differentperson, because you brought the
bullshit into the relationship.
If you don't fix your bullshit,that bullshit is gonna be with
another vagina. If you're a guy,be with another penis if you're
a woman. So you better figureyourself out. If you don't
figure yourself out, it doesn'tmatter. And why not give it a

(48:34):
try by aspiring to this thingyou desire and invite the person
who's been with you there andsee because both parties, when
they get divorced are all goingto go on the divorce diet.
They're both going to get fitand tan, and they're going to be
caring about themselves, andthey're going to present
themselves as the world, whereasin marriage, most time, we just
wait for the divorce. Then I'mgoing to be jacked and juicy.

(48:55):
I'm gonna go hang out with abunch of Latina girls in Miami.
I'll be the man, or you couldjust be the fucking man with the
woman you're with now, and youmight be surprised that the
woman you're with dies and thewoman she becomes is this thing
you always wanted, and she wasright there, but you wouldn't
put in the energy with her thesame way you would when you get
divorced, and now all of asudden you'd be focused. It's
like, dudes are fat. They getdivorced, get jacked. You're

(49:16):
like, why don't you get jackedwhile you were married? Why
didn't you guys take care ofeach other when you were
married? Why do you had to getdivorced? And divorced and go
handle with somebody else?
Because you're gonna go throughthe same bullshit again. She's
not gonna be perfect. She's notgonna be everything you think
she is. She's gonna haveproblems. She has a period, she
has a month. She gets angry. Allwomen do, guess what? Dudes who
produce also assholes as calmand nice you are to get where

(49:39):
you are, you have to be anasshole. There's a part of dark
side of business you have to be,which means inside of all of us,
which means, ladies, no dudesperfect and no dude can fulfill
all your desires. It'simpossible. I can't fulfill all
my wife's desires. And maybe 85%that means 15% of fantasy is
gonna be in her world. She'sgonna have fun. Other ways to
fulfill that. I can't be.

(50:00):
Everything for her. She can't beeverything for me, but this one
flesh principle can which is aconnection of soul. It's what I
actually find beyond sex. Moststudents think they're after an
orgasm. They're actually afterthe piece of connection, after
it, the desire to be wanted,which is why I believe most men
are look at porn or go to porn,because they see women who
desire this man. It might be allbullshit and fake, but even the

(50:23):
idea of it, of being wanted, isthe thing that everybody's
missing. Nobody feels seen. Theydon't feel wanted. Fuck it. I'll
go find somebody else who seesme, wants me, and that'll last
for a bit, and then it'll fade,just like every relationship,
and they have to do work again.
One of the

Randall Kaplan (50:38):
things about people in marriages who probably
shouldn't be in marriages, istheir commitment to the oath
they take, you know, for better,for worse, sickness or in
health. My ex wife's greatperson, great mom. My kids say,
and great personality. Peoplelove her, yeah, but doesn't mean
that you're right for oneanother. My kids, we have three

(50:59):
beautiful kids for them. Say,God, I can't imagine you ever
being together. And what comesand when you're getting
divorced, and people think youhave everything and you're
happy, what starts to happen, asyou may know, is you start
getting these phone calls. Theysay, Hey Randy, you want to have
lunch. And one of my closestfriends to this day called me up

(51:19):
and said, Hey, Randy, let's havedinner. And he said, I I respect
you and admire you for yourcourage. And I said, What are
you talking about? Well, I'vebeen having an affair on my wife
for five years now. He mentionedthe woman I knew, the woman,
beautiful, of course. And Isaid, I don't view it as
courage. I view it as doing theright thing for myself and who I

(51:42):
am. I think it's fair to her,because if you're not getting
along, I think at some age, it'simportant to allow somebody else
to have the opportunity to meetsomeone else who's better for
them, rather than stay in amarriage and say, All right, now
I'm 55 years old, and it forbetter for worse, I'm not being
chauvinistic about this, but Ithink it's easier, and maybe the

(52:03):
playing field is larger for aman who's 60 years old getting
divorced, and maybe for a woman,my mom was single at 70 years
old in Detroit, you know, thethe talent pool there is slim.
You know, she's going onmatch.com which I encourage her
to go on initially, like Randy.
She finally found her an amazinglife, life partner. And what's

(52:24):
interesting in those lunches? Isaid, Hey, you know, man, you
okay? What do you mean? Andsaid, Is your marriage okay? Oh
yeah, yeah. You know, marriageis great. Well, you know it's
interesting. I haven't heardfrom you two two years, and here
we are sitting have lunch. Andyeah, what's great about this?
If you have friends that aregetting divorced and it's very
lonely, it's depressing, eventhough it may be the right thing

(52:47):
for you, it's just tough sittingthere in your house by yourself
when you got kids and you wantit when you're in the marriage,
not that you what you want iswhen you got three kids, a
living nanny, a dog, everyone'sin the house. It's rare that
there's no one in the house. Iremember when I was married to
my my first wife, I think I hadone hour where everyone was

(53:08):
gone. I said, Gosh, this is sonice. And then when it was
forced upon you, and you're inthis house half the time, big
house, your dream house byyourself, it it really suck, but
I think it's really importantfor your friends to reach out to
you. I know that in somesituations, I was toxic because
none of my married friends wiveswanted to have dinner with me

(53:30):
and a new girl or a girl that Iwas dating. Doug, am off. I just
want to mention this to you,married to Vice President of the
United States. We've beenfriends since we were 24 years
old, first year lawyers in LosAngeles, and he had been
divorced before, and he reachedout to me and he said, and I've
known Doug at that point for along time. I got married when I

(53:53):
got divorced when I was 38 Dougand I met when we're 24 new to
LA. He had volunteered on thisnon profit, uh, charity function
that I started, called theJustice ball. Is basically for
free non profit law firm. And I,I'll never forget Doug reaching
out to me, an amazing person,and all the other people who

(54:15):
reach out to me, and thereweren't that many. So my advices
to people, and it's not just fordivorce, but be there for your
friends. Your friends are goingto go through hard times, and
they're going through thingsthat you're even think you're
going to maybe going through oneday or hope that they don't
happen to you. This

Garrett White (54:34):
is the reason I built Wake Up Warrior, because
men didn't have a place to go,and when I needed someone to
turn to. I had nobody, and thechurch groups weren't getting it
done, and the Bible studiesweren't getting it done, and the
masterminds weren't getting itdone. And so I built a place for
men to be safe, where they couldtell the truth. You could still
be powerful and you could beweak. You could be struggling.

(54:58):
You don't have to hide, youdon't have to be in your. House
alone. I've watched, I'vewatched many of my guys,
hundreds of my guys, getdivorced over the years, and
that factor is accurate. Theyall go on a bender for about six
months, and then they end up inthis lonely place. And on the
speaking of it too, there's alonelier place, and it's called
being in a relationship thatdoesn't work and you suffer and
you struggle and you desire, oryou have side chicks, and you do

(55:19):
the side thing, while you'retrying to pretend it's together,
get everything along this you'rejust lying to yourself. And this
piece of truth, the truth comeswith pain, and sometimes that
means you're gonna feel alonefor a season, and inside of
that, yes, a lot of divorcedpeople, too. Marry people become
cancerous because of how weaktheir marriages are and

Randall Kaplan (55:40):
because they're contagious. Yeah, women, you're
a man, you're getting divorced.
And

Garrett White (55:48):
yeah, exposes their relationship. If they're
weak in their relationship andthey see you do this, it becomes
an example, because now theexposure level. Now, if your
marriage is solid and you'restrong, you're committed a
divorce, doesn't threaten you atall. But if you're weak in your
marriage and you've been hidingand lying, and somebody next to
you demonstrates the courage tosay, Listen, this doesn't work.
I'm choosing to move forwardwith my life. I love you, and at

(56:12):
the same time, this doesn't workfor me. I cannot do this
anymore. I cannot continue tolie to myself. I'm going to move
on. And in that place, itrattles relationships, because
nobody, everybody talks aboutdivorce rate. Nobody talks about
the depressed rate of all themarried couples who fucking hate
each other and they're not happyand they're surviving and all
those people from my parentsgeneration, my parents have been

(56:33):
divorced, my in laws should havebeen divorced, but they came
from a time where divorce wasn'teven on the table. I mean, it
wasn't even an option. So likemy mother and my mother in law,
both are despised at some level.
They're their husbands, andthey're verbal about it, because
they're powerful women that weremen just they weren't. These men
did the best they could, butthey weren't what these women
wanted. Truly, I watched theseparations. I've watched it
happen, but nobody talks aboutthat piece. What percentage of

(56:54):
marriage are actually happy? Idon't know. I don't know how you
would like statistically lightup. I know this, there are more
happy second marriages thanthere are first marriages,

Randall Kaplan (57:05):
right? Let me, let me stop you there, because I
wanted to mention this before,and I was going to mention now.
But one of the things aboutbeing divorced is, as much as
you can be toxic now you can bea light of future, because I
found the most amazing woman inthe world,

Unknown (57:26):
yeah, man, I know.

Randall Kaplan (57:29):
And you know, people will look at me now and
say, you know, that could be me,yeah. And that's just so warming
and heartfelt. And, you know, Igot friends. I mean, I mean, I
have a woman friend who hasn'thad sex with her husband in 12
years, I know, and it's like,why aren't you divorced? Look
at, look at, look at what Ihave. I'm so lucky. You know, I

(57:51):
was divorced seven and a halfyears man. I dated all the wrong
women, right? Looking for theright one and and when I met
Madison. We met a few yearsbefore, and she was living in
New York, and it's kind of acrazy story. She she had her
best friend named Maddie. Mywife is Madison, and Maddie and

(58:14):
I were friends, and I wanted,you know, date Maddie and we
went on a date, and she says itwasn't a date, but Madison
wasn't talent working, and hecame to dinner at the last
minute. I'm like, Oh, shit. Youknow, this is not good. And then
we went to dinner, and then wewent back to my house to play
the Wii video game. We'replaying tennis and all this
other stuff, and driving the carand and this is, you know, 10

(58:35):
o'clock at night, and we playedthe drums, which is in the
bedroom, but we had fun. Thesetwo beautiful women sitting on
the edge of my bed till two inthe morning while I'm playing
the drums. And I'm like, youknow, I tell the story. Well,
did anything kinky happen whenyou got these two beautiful
women in your bedroom? Right? Isaid, No, no, but we exchanged
phone numbers on Facebook. Iasked him, posted something on

(58:56):
Facebook going to Hawaii with myboyfriend for two weeks. I can't
wait, so I text her thisengagement trip, and she wrote
back hardly, and so I'd been tothe place where they had been a
few times before, and I textedher four days into the trip,
Hey, how's the trip growing? Andsaid, we broke up now I barely
knew her, right? And when Isaid, Well, what I said to her

(59:17):
is, when she said hardly, Isaid, You shouldn't settle. You
know you're great. And she'lltell the story. Now, you know,
who the fuck were you to saythat you don't even know me, but
what I have and which nobodyelse knew. And this is true in
business. You know you have anopportunity. You know you're a
business guy. You got to seizethe moment in my moment in the

(59:38):
way that I my brain works, is doit now, because you can miss it
by a millisecond. So I hadmaterial, non public inside
information. If you trade onthat in the stock market, you're
going to jail, buddy. But if youtrade on that in your personal
life, you could have the bestpossible life in the world, and
that's what happened to me,because no one knew she'd broken
up with her boyfriend. So Isaid, Oh, I. Want to come take

(01:00:00):
it to dinner. Said, Oh no, I'mliving with my boyfriend. I got
to get out with my wife. And shesaid, Maybe this summer, my
sister's getting married. In thefall, I'll be in Los Angeles. I
don't believe in maybes. Maybesare not a good thing. As a
businessman, successfulbusinessman, you got to hit it
right now. And like I said, youcan miss it by a millisecond so

(01:00:22):
she was having none of that. Mystepdad, at that point, was sick
with cancer, and he was supposedto come out to Los Angeles, I
think my, one of my kids wasgraduating from maybe
kindergarten or something likethat, and get canceled a whole
bunch of times he was sick. Andmy kids would very much get
unhappy and say, Oh, he can'tsay, well, he's sick. You know,

(01:00:44):
Grandma bunny is what, is whatthey call my mom. You know,
can't, can't come out, becausePapa Bear, that was what they
call my father. My stepfatherwas sick. I remember being at
the Shell gas station. Said Ican't come this weekend. I'm so
sorry. Hang up the phone callMattis, and said, I'm going to
come to New York this weekendfor the freeze Art Fair. And I

(01:01:04):
collect art. I love art. It's apassion. I know plans Garrett
going to New York, but suddenly,you know, 10 minutes later, I
booked a trip and said, I liketo take you to dinner. And it
was great. You know, Madison hadjust broken up with her
boyfriend. Yeah, I went there.
We had dinner both nights, and Isaid to her, when I, when I when
I laughed. I mean, I felt likewe had a great connection. I
don't care what you're doing inNew York, which is a total

(01:01:28):
fucking bullshit lie, by theway, but I want you to know that
when I go back to LA I'm notgonna date anyone else. I think
there's a future here, but youcould date whoever you want to
do. And I'm like, God, pleasedon't date anybody that would
just torture on my soul. And wegot engaged three months later,
because I knew what I wanted.
She was the most amazing personin the world. She was smart,

(01:01:52):
graduated Business School,graduated college in three
years, 24 AP credits, I thinkcoming in, self supportive. Had
four jobs New York when I when Imet her, loves football. I'm a
huge football fan. Go lions. Ihope this is the year the best
ever suffer as long sufferinglions fan. And you know, here we

(01:02:14):
are, 11 and a half years later.
So the message that I want tosend to everybody, as much as I
talked about, yeah, youshouldn't be in a marriage if
you're unhappy, is it allows youthe opportunity to have a second
life. And I think having beendivorced the first time and
again, I don't recommend peopleget divorced unless they they
really need to. And if you'renot going to fix your problems,

(01:02:34):
why fake it? Why do it? But ifyou are going to get divorced
and it's right for you, therecan be and is an amazing Second
Life. I have two beautiful kidswith with my wife, and people
will look at me now and say, Allright, maybe Randy is was the
inspiration of me gettingdivorced, and maybe he is today,
but for a better reason, yeah,which is, look at what he has

(01:02:56):
today, and I feel like I'm theluckiest guy in the world. I'm
happy for you. Your story ofredemption in terms of what you
went through, sexual abuse,difficulties in marriage,
affairs. You also built a verysuccessful business. I want to
talk about your business career.
I want to talk about the ups anddowns. You build three very

(01:03:16):
successful mortgage companies.
You had personal issues, drugissues, and then the great
financial crisis of 2008 where alot of people lost their
businesses. You tell us justabout your entrepreneurial
instinct in terms of the riseand fall of your businesses. And
what are the three lessons thatyou would give somebody else
starting a business going intosomething in the future, and

(01:03:37):
what are the three best thingsyou learned from those
businesses failing, the

Garrett White (01:03:43):
implosion, the implosion of our first round of
companies was really aleadership thing. On my side,
there were plenty of guys at thetime in banking, then mortgages
that did fine. They contracted.
I didn't listen to mentors. So Ihad mentors who literally sat
with me and said, compress yourcompany down to 10 to 15 people.
Let 100 plus people go, go tocash, get out of real estate,
sit and wait. One of them was amentor of mine, who actually

(01:04:07):
passed away six months after hegave me the advice. I was young.
I was in my 30s. I thought thisthing would just go forever. I
was PE teacher and became amortgage guy and a real estate
guy, and didn't know anythingelse. I'd never known loss. So I
got to learn loss. So the firstone was, listen to your mentors.
People have gone before you.
They know the path. They've seenthe trends. They know what's

(01:04:28):
going on. Just because you'vehad success doesn't mean you're
going to always have success,and the one of the fast ways to
not have it is not listen topeople have gone before you. So
number one, number two, we hadlived in a game of deception and
banking, not intentionally. Ididn't understand entrepreneurs
as a whole. I was a I was reallya high paid hit man. Am I? I had
a crew of 100 high paid hit men,and we worked for big banks, and

(01:04:49):
we went and sold shit. We didn'tknow anything. We just were
hitmen. We sold I wasn't reallyan entrepreneur at that time. We
had larger companies, we hadsuccess, we had money. But that
didn't mean I was anentrepreneur. So the second. To
determine is that not everyone'san entrepreneur. Some of the
greatest success people have isworking for pure entrepreneurs.
And while there's this massivemessage of everyone's an
entrepreneur, the truth isthat's not true. The spirit of

(01:05:10):
entrepreneurism is in everyonethe spirit to create and go but
most people cannot bear theburden the weight of being a
founder and a CEO of a company.
To be a true CEO, to be a trueentrepreneur, you have to be
crazy. You have to have thecapacity to create from nothing.
You have to believe at a levelthat most will never believe.
You have to suffer at a levelmost will never suffer. You have
to hurt in ways no one canimagine and it never turns off.

(01:05:32):
Most people will make more moneywith the spirit of entrepreneurs
and being entrepreneurs behindcrazy people and helping build
support and infrastructure withthe entrepreneurial spirit. So
this was something I was nevertaught, so I didn't know any
different. I should. We all hadto be entrepreneurs, so I had to
learn all of these skills overthe last 25 years, pushing
myself the place I probablywould have never gone had I had

(01:05:54):
a pure mentor entrepreneur who Icould just tuck under the wing
and go and I probably would havemade more money because I could
do the things that I wasuniquely great at. I didn't
necessarily want to have allthese skills. It wasn't my
desire. I just had to get thembecause the only way to run the
business was to have theseskills. So the second piece, the
third piece was, everythingcomes back to truth. So if
you're not listening to yourmentors, and you're actually not

(01:06:15):
committed to the entrepreneurialjourney of suffering, the
success is follow suffering atthe highest level. There's not
one guy I've met that's builtanything of success that does
not have a dark trail. There's adarkness that comes with this
stewardship, and that darknessis not worshiping money and it's
not hurting people. There's justa heaviness and a weight that
perpetually pushes it willaffect your marriage, your

(01:06:37):
children and every and if youcan get through it, and you
know, it's why warrior exists.
We use tools. Now I didn't haveavailable to me to be able to
stabilize who I am as a man tolead. So we have more
entrepreneurs brising In ourorganization than ever because
of these tools, because of thethings we do every day as men to
keep ourselves in check. But thefoundation of all this is truth.

(01:06:58):
And if you, if you can't tellthe truth to yourself, and you
can't tell the truth to yourteams, and the truth to your
teams can't tell the truth toyou. Now, number one, you're not
getting the right data, you'renot getting the right optics.
You're not making the rightdecisions. Everything's based
upon a gut feeling, which atsome level has to happen, but at
some level, things have to bebacked up with numbers and math
and science. You have to backthings up. You have to live in
truth. At the same time, live inthis place of vision that you're

(01:07:20):
moving towards, but withouttruth, there's no vision,
because now it's fantasy. Thevision becomes fantasy with no
foundation of truth. So in thattruth, now it can choose
something different and wake up.
Warrior became the birth childof not just helping
entrepreneurs rise. It washelping entrepreneurs rise with
everything, with them.

Randall Kaplan (01:07:38):
So tell everybody what, what that is, we
built a system, a

Garrett White (01:07:42):
game, simple as that app, curriculum for married
businessmen with children tofigure out how to weaponize
themselves, physically connectto God, deep, deeply, sexually,
emotionally, spirituallyconnected to their wife like
they had just met, like arebirth in the relationship, and
How to continue to accelerateprofits at the same time, while

(01:08:03):
leading their children. How canyou do all of this at once?
Because every mentor I'd everhad in my entire life was on one
side to scale the other, bigmoney and life wreck falling
apart, or on the flip side, hadbecome very zen, and kind of
said, Eh, to the money. And Iwas like, can you be Zen and be
wealthy? Can you do it all atonce? We figured out how. It's

(01:08:25):
not even a guesswork for usanymore. It's a science, and men
that submit into the games thatwe play. We teach them how to
play the Warriors way. It's agame we play every day. It's an
ideology, it's an operatingsystem, and it works for every
single man that we've everworked with who chooses to work
the system, and when they workthe system, they win

Randall Kaplan (01:08:42):
some of the things that you ask your people
to do in these seminars. And Idon't know if it's a seminar,
maybe your coaching program isyou do crazy things. They're
very difficult, like throwingsomebody into the ocean
blindfolded, having someone gointo a cemetery and say you're
gonna die in 20 minutes. Youhave to write something to save
yourself to live. What's

Garrett White (01:09:01):
that about? So when we first started, Warrior
men were different than they arenow. So 1213, years ago, when we
started, Warrior men were muchmore shut down, roll out. What's
occurred in the last 12 years?
Politically, COVID, all of theshit that's gone sideways, men
are hurting more than ever. Sowe started that way because the
only way to get men to tell thetruth, was exhaust them. So we
exhausted him, beat the shit outof him, made him fight each

(01:09:24):
other. Our application questionwas, if you were coming into
war, he was, have you everpunched a man in the face? Have
you ever been punched by a manin the face? We knew you were
gonna get punched. And you'regonna punch somebody because you
were coming to our camp, whichmeans you were gonna fight. So
we had 50 year old dudes whonever punched anyone, beating
the shit out of each other, andthey fucking loved it. Founders
of companies, CFOs, who'd neverhit anyone, the craziest dudes

(01:09:44):
were the dudes who'd neverfought anybody.

Randall Kaplan (01:09:48):
What a great marketing plan. Hey, Lisa rage
with a bunch of bros. That's it.

Garrett White (01:09:53):
And the dudes lined up for fucking eight
straight years for it. Every twoweeks, 10,000 a pop, New York
Times called. The man called$10,000 man cult tried to run a
smear campaign on us. Theycouldn't, because all of our top
dudes were like, if this is acult, well, fuck if a cult means
I'm more fit, more connected toGod, having better sex with my
wife, making more money mychildren, trust me, war. Well,
that's a cult I want to be partof. So go fuck yourself. And

(01:10:16):
we've just pushed this thingforward. Now, over time, it
became less necessary for tworeasons. One, our dudes got
older, so when we launched it 13years ago, we were younger, and
a dude sent a cum laude. My age.
I'm 48 almost 49 and dudes at 52their bodies are great, but the
but when our big, impossiblegames for the year with a lot of
our guys are I'm gonna get acolonoscopy this year. We've,
we've, we've come to, yeah,that's colonoscopy. Let's

(01:10:38):
fucking go. We're not 30anymore. So we had to move away
from a lot of that. One becauseit just a physical game. Was too
many injuries. And the secondpiece was it wasn't necessary.
Now, guys come to the door andthere's so much pain. The truth
is, a conversation works. And sowe went away from that, although
a lot of groups have launchedfollowing our lead, and still

(01:11:00):
run those, and those are veryuseful for most of our guys. Are
very established dudes. They'redeep thinkers. Are very logical,
and they're trapped emotionallyinside. So we come in our world,
we have different tools now.
They're actually more effective,more efficient. So a lot of
people think in order toparticipate in Warrior I have to
go get my ass kicked. No, no,you don't have to get physically
beat up. We're going to trainyour body, but we're going to
put you in a place with tools wehave now that allow you to

(01:11:22):
spiritually set yourself free.
And that's the shits we weregoing from the outside in. Now
we know how to go from theinside out, and in less than a
couple weeks, I can do what usedto take us two or three years
with a guy, and this guy will beliving in truth and power in a
way he wasn't living before. And

Randall Kaplan (01:11:36):
to sign up.
Where do they go to sign up andbe part of the program?

Garrett White (01:11:39):
Our baseline is just Wake Up warrior.com it's
like the great place to start,great entry point. There's also
a great podcast my wife and Irun together called date your
wife. It's a great place tostart to the date your wife
podcast found on all platformsand Wake Up warrior.com it's,
it's kind of the entry point toour world, where you can learn
everything about it. We

Randall Kaplan (01:11:56):
talked about a couple things already that make
people successful, not only inpersonal life, but in the
business life, one of the thingsthat's made me successful, if
not the most successful thing,is my preparation. I call it
extreme preparation. Howimportant has preparation?
Extreme preparation? Preparingfor a meeting, speech, whatever
it is, 20 hours, 40 hours, whensomeone else is prepared, 30

(01:12:18):
minutes, which is the averagetime someone actually does
prepare for a meeting. So

Garrett White (01:12:21):
what I can tell is, not only are you one who
extremely prepares, I went andstarted listening to your shows.
I just listened to fourdifferent shows. I'm listening
for the first 10 minutes intothe show. And I was like,
There's no fucking way he justknows this. Like they had to
prepare like crazy. I waslistening for an hour to an hour
and a half long podcast, and youwere question after question
after that weren't just likegeneral, hey. So tell me about

(01:12:45):
how you feel about life, hey. Sotell us your backstory, about
your business. No, you were likewhen you were a kid. What about
this? What about this? How aboutthat person? What about that
girl, Sally, that you hung outwith in sixth grade? And how
about this move over here? Andthen, when you took this, the
question and sequence thatyou've done is the most unique
thing I've ever seen a podcastinterview ever do, like only
person who probably prepares asmuch as you, as Joe Rogan,

(01:13:06):
because he tends to know fuckingeverything about everybody, too.
You, on other hand, most showsare free flow, go, go, go, and
we kind of talking, so peoplekind of get some insight from
it, your questioning and yourability to study and prepare. I
mean, you, you set this up withme and somehow stay up till
three o'clock in the morning,studying for seven eight hours
my life. So you could come inwith questions to ask. I may
have fucked all those up, butnonetheless, we were here, and

(01:13:28):
you were did it, and I couldtell when you walked in, and I
could tell from all the othershows you do your unique talent
in this is the fact that you'recommitted to that, which is
exactly why you've had successin business. Because you don't
want to come to the table andjust deliver up fluff and
deliver up another podcast. It'sa strategic move to show people
how they can get value by youasking the right questions to
get the gold out of peopleyou're interviewing. I'm

(01:13:50):
impressed. I was impressed, likebefore I got here. Just listen
to the show. Because a guy whostudies people who do things
like this, you were different.
You were in a very different Inow understand why everybody
wants to be on your show,because they're as excited about
the questions you're going toask because they're getting
asked the questions that no oneasks them in a normal podcast.
My preparation is a little bitdifferent, right? So you have
people prepared decks and slidesand all that's very important. I

(01:14:12):
don't disagree with this. Mypreparation is frameworks. So I
love flow, so I can do thingsnaturally in flow that a lot of
people cannot. For example, I'min events where the power goes
down and people can't show theirPowerPoints and the speaker and
trainer is fucked, not me. So Igot used to vibe boards, which
is now what I use. Vibe boards,iPads, flip charts. So I have
frameworks inside, so I preparefor 1520, hours frameworks.

(01:14:35):
Frameworks are concepts or ideasthat I want to use, but they're
interchangeable, unlike a scriptor a PowerPoint deck, that's
like a, b, c, d, I have all theletters of the alphabet
available to me, and then Ienter the most important
preparation for me, which isenergetic and spiritual
connection. Am I grounded?
Because in that place now I canmove a room or a negotiation. I

(01:14:58):
can move a negotiation. And swapframes out real time instead of
being caught to a script. So forme, scripts don't work. What
does work is preparation, but mypreparation is different. So at
a big event, some dudes willspend 40 hours on their
PowerPoint slide in order to dotheir pitch me, I'll spend 10
hours building frames, and thenI'll spend another 20 hours
meditating, grounding, doing mywork, keeping me connected. I'll

(01:15:23):
sit in the rooms or go prepareby being in people's energy. And
then I unleash with no script.
And now my frameworks just pop.
I pull them like from a serverin the back of my brain, and
I'll start a framework overhere, and then I'll see we need
to shift. I'll pause that onecome over here, pull this
framework out. Then I'll comeand pull one out over here, and
then I'll mix them together andgo. Frameworks are what scripts

(01:15:46):
are. They're just less insteadof, like, four paragraphs, I
have four statements. These fourstatements typically follow
alliteration, and they movepeople from here to there. And
those frameworks work for me.
But it doesn't mean I don'tprepare as you prepare
differently than most people.

Randall Kaplan (01:16:04):
Well, that means the world to me. It really does,
and I appreciate you. And I'mwriting a book called extreme
preparation, so I'm excited foryou to read it, and if you want
to write a little blurb in it,and if you love the book, then
I'd be grateful. But this hasbeen one of the best shows I've
ever done. We went to a placewhere I've never gone before in
the 150 podcasts that I've done,and I appreciate your story.

(01:16:26):
It's motivating. It's inspiring.
I think it's amazing. Whatyou've done to encourage people
that have been sexually abusedand being a real person and
showing vulnerability, which fora man, is very difficult. For
most men I know, to do we'retaught not to do that, and just
the lessons you've learned fromthe rise and fall of your
business, and especially whatyou've done to rebuild this
incredible coaching program andinspiring, motivating 10s of

(01:16:47):
1000s of people around theworld. I really congratulate
you. I admire you, and I'mexcited to hang with you again.
Thank you, brother. Appreciateyou having me. Great show. Thank
you, and again, shout out toAndrew loringer, we put this
thing together in 24 hours. Iwas coming down in Miami. I did
a show with Tony Robbins. Isaid, Hey, you got the studio.
I'll come anytime it could beone in the morning. Whatever he

(01:17:08):
said, I got this great guy.
Garrett white, he's amazing.
You're gonna love him. So shoutout to Andrew for making this
happen all the all the introsthat he's made incredible. Andy
Elliott's coming on the show.
Thanks to my man right here.
Andrew, so grateful if you'recoming to Miami shoot at the
move best studio around Amen.

Unknown (01:17:36):
You.
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