Grant Ellis: What The Bachelor Taught Me About Life, Love, and Success | E155 - In Search Of Excellence

Episode Transcript
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Randall Kaplan (00:00):
Kissing multiple women on the same night. How do

(00:03):
you actually focus and get toknow who you want to be with
when there's 25 people thatyou're kissing?

Grant Ellis (00:08):
Physical Chemistry is a big part. I had been single
for a while. You know, somepeople are gonna say you're
kissing too many people, butlisten, I'm dating. I'm dating,
and this is the way that I wentabout it. I became the bachelor,
and now my family's a unit, andit's all centered around me and
because they're excited. Whendid

you first learn that your mom had submitted an
application? Where were youduring that day? And what do you
think? I was

at my computer training, and she called me in
the morning. I talked to my dad,my mom, and I listened, son like
you never know what happened.
You could find your wife. And Ilistened. And then it led to

this. The best advice I have for the next
Bachelor is

best advice I have is be yourself.

Welcome to a search of excellence, where I
got to meet some of the mostincredible, talented, successful
and interesting people in theworld. My guest today is Grant.
Ellis grant is the star of thehit TV show The Bachelor, which
airs on ABC at 8pm grand. Thanksfor being here. Welcome to In
Search of Excellence. Thanks for

having me. Man, it's an honor. Man, I've seen
some of the guests you've had.
You're doing an amazing job. Sothank

you. All right, so we're gonna start the show a
little different and gonna giveyou

the first impression roast. Thank you,
man, I appreciate that. I'mgonna keep this in my back
pocket for sure. Okay,

there you go.
Appreciate that, man. So whenwas the last time you got a
rose? It was on TheBachelorette. It was on years
ago.

Yep, and then, you know, I was on there, got some
roses, got dumped, and now I'mhanding out the roses. So it's a
different it's a difference. Youknow, that's awesome.

We're gonna go through a lot of lessons and
life on the show, but I thinkone of the most important
lessons in our life is takingadvantage of opportunities as
they come. So let's go throughand tell us how, tell everyone
how we met. Yeah, so

it's crazy. I was staying at the London and I was
walking to the hotel, and Idropped my bag as the hotel is
open. And then you asked me if Ineeded help, and I was like, Oh,
I'm okay. And then you asked me,What am I doing? I was because I
told you I had a stylist. Andthen you were like, well, what
do you have a stylist for? And Iwas like, Well, I'm actually the
Bachelor on ABC. And then youintroduced me to your podcast

(02:12):
and your company and what you'redoing. And, you know, we just
hit it off, which was really, itwas really excited. And that
just goes to show you that, youknow, the right opportunity and
networking. And, you know, beinglikable is a really big part of
business,

right? One of the things that I teach in coach
is you gotta do it now. So yougot an opportunity. You're
ready, obviously, I've gotta hitpodcast. You meet all kinds of
interesting people in LA. I wasstaying at the London hotel. The
fires were raging everywhere. Weevacuated, so I was with my
family there. I think it was ourmy seventh night there, and I
was actually checking out. Imean, all my luggage was in the

(02:46):
car, so I were here in my last10 seconds of the show. I was
getting on the elevator, andhere's this good looking,
stylish dude. And, you know,here we are. Here we are, all
right. So I only start my showwith our family, because our
family helped shape who we areand our future. So starting the

(03:07):
show, you introduce you us, yourmom, Renee, your dad and your
sister, Taylor. But I want totalk about your grandmother,
Corrine, who is 83 years old,yes, yes. So how important was
she in your life and who you aretoday, and then talk about what
happened after the show aired.
Yeah, so my

grandmother was a big part, you know, she's
obviously, I wouldn't be here ifit wasn't for her, because she
gave birth to my mother and butshe also birthed a lot of she
instilled a lot of things in usthat were really pivotal in my
life. You know, she taught mepatience, she taught me how to
be kind. She taught me about myfaith, you know, and when things
get hard, to pray, and that'ssomething that she instilled in

(03:46):
me. And then after the show, sheactually passed away. So it was
really big that I was able togive her my first impression
rose. And that's gonna besomething that's imprinted on me
for forever. Yeah,

that was a great moment of the show, and a great
way to kick it off. I want totalk about some of your family
struggles. Your dad worked alot. He had drug addiction
problems, and you never atedinner together as a family
growing up. So what was thatlike when you were in a family
of parents arguing? And how didthat influence your future?

I'm gonna tell you one thing. It taught me how to
be very focused, and it taughtme how to be very ambitious,
because the things that I lackedin my childhood, I wanted to
make sure that when I grew up, Iwas able to supply all those
things. So when my parents wouldargue or be frustrated, I would
take out my frustration on acraft basketball so every time,

(04:42):
you know, I'll get frustrated,I'll go to the park. And it
taught me how to deal withadversity through putting your
putting your efforts intosomething that's that's good for
you instead of something that'snegative. So it forged me, in a
way. But there also was somenegative affection. You know, I
had to go through a period of mylife where I was I. Isolated
myself, you know, because I feltlike I had to do that until I

(05:04):
could accomplish what I neededto accomplish. So there were
some negative effects, but therealso was a lot of positive
things that came from it. And,you know, I learned a lot from
my parents. I learned a lot bothgood things and bad things, but
that's that's we're human, sothat's part of

it. You said your mission in life is to be
the man your father wasn'tright. And

the and the powerful, it's powerful. And the
man that he he is, you know, hetaught me where my dad was
lacking. He had strength. He wasvery compassionate, very
affectionate, very emotional,his father. And the reason why
he got into drugs was becausehis father passed away when he
was 20 years old. My dad had avery successful business. He
sold cars to Biggie, Smalls,Eddie Murphy, the Wu Tang Clan.

(05:47):
But being around that lifestyle,he adapted some negative habits
and but I tell you one thing, myemotional side and me being in
tune with my feelings, I getthat from him. You don't talk

about on the show very much, kind of what
you're like from ages three to13. So kind of fill us in. Were
you cool kid in school? Were youa jock popular with the girls?
So

from ages three to 13, I was, I did band. You know,
I What instrument you play,saxophone and a clarinet, and
then I did a little bit of playsand things like that. My mom
always put me in differentthings, whether it was Kumon or
it was, you know, playing thedrums or so, that's where I get

(06:33):
my musical side from. And Ieventually found solace in
basketball, so probably aroundthe age of eight or nine, and
that's where I really developedmy love for the game, and that's
where I found my ability to takemyself away from distractions
and focus on that. When was thefirst time you had a ball in
your hand, I remember I used togo downstairs, and I used to

(06:55):
dribble in our basement. This isback then when they had and one
mix tape. It was like a streetball kind of thing. I used to
watch that, and I used to be soenamored by what the guys were
doing on the show, and that Iprobably around the age of of
seven or eight, I picked it up,and you

play the drums as well. Played

the drums, played the drums, clarinet, saxophone,
a little bit of piano, a littlebit, little bit everything. You
know, music theory is somethingthat I love. And, yeah, just
just being all over the place,you know, you

have a kid in your house growing up, a drum
kit. I had a drum kit, and

then we had a piano, and I used to go to, I
used to play at the church alot, so just mess around,
nothing serious. You know, I

always want to play the drums. When I was 35
years old, I walked into Costco,and in college I bought myself
sticks, and I blast. Rush is myfavorite band. Neil pert
considered, before he passedaway, one of the greatest
drummers ever, if not the best.
And I play on the drums. And youknow, you have a beer or two, or
whatever, you're playing sohard, I remember the wood
splintering just going up in theair as I'm as I'm playing the

(07:53):
drums. About 35 years old, wentin, taught myself how in my drum
set is a little weird. Is in mybedroom, right? Okay, right next
to the bed. You got a sevenpiece DW drug test, yeah, right.
Next event with the bigspeakers, which is, which is
fun, you know, you got to dowhat you love. You

got to do love. And you strike me as somebody who
put, that's at, at 35 you know,you push yourself to do new
things, and, you know, challengeyour brain and challenge your
mind. So that's that'ssomething, that that's a that's
a big thing I admire.

On your bio for the show, it says that you were
a mama's boy jail, and you lovepoetry. So what does it mean to
be a mama's boy and who's yourfavorite poet? So

to be a mama's boy, it just means my mom is really a
source a lot of my strength, andit just means that I admire her
her vulnerability and herstrength, and the strength that
a woman has to push throughdifficult situations. You know,
a lot of times you see women inin positions where they really
have to rely on their gut andhow they feel and their

(08:57):
intuition. So I really respectthat for my mom. And, you know,
you only get one mom. So, youknow, obviously, you know, I'm
gonna have a wife and a family,but I'm always gonna take care
of my mom and I'm always gonnatake care of my dad. That's
something that I really lookforward to. And, you know,
classical poetry, I because rapand music is a form of poetry.
So one of my favorite artists iswallet. You know, he, is a poet,

(09:21):
but he puts some music behindhis words, and he knows how to
rhyme and put certain words incertain places to evoke emotion.
So I really, walla is not apoet, but he's an artist. And I
really, I really enjoy listeningto him. You write your own
poetry. I don't write but like,sometimes, I'll just, you know,
sometimes when I feel I writelyrics to a song, or if I'm
feeling a certain way, yeah,I'll do certain things like

(09:44):
that.

We're gonna talk about your new song later in the
show. But do you have anyfavorite lyrics at all that you
want to recite? Or, you know, arap you want to recite right
now? I don't come on. You canhit the rap right now. Okay, hit

a rap. Okay, give me. Give me a word. Let me see
if I can. Do, okay, podcast,podcast, that's a difficult
word. Okay, I'm on a podcast.
I'm with Randall Kaplan, and I'min a podcast. There's some drama
on the show with the ladies. Itold them to stop that, because
at times it gets hard, at timesit gets difficult, but in the
end, if we win, it's somethingthat we could all admire. I

(10:19):
guess that's something. That's athat's a poetry right there, I
guess didn't really run. Butokay,

all right, let's talk about high school
education. You went to aCatholic school, went

to a Catholic school. I went to a public
school at first, and then I wentto St Benedict's, which was an
all boys private school. It wasa basketball school. We were
actually number two in thecountry in the country in
basketball at that time. Andthen I transferred from there.
When a coach left, I transferredto Hudson Catholic, which is a
Catholic school, great pointaverage. Uh, so listen, I was
not always the best in school. Ihad like, a 2.90 I was not. It

(10:54):
was very it was, I wasn'treally. I was always more on the
creative side. And I didn't getinto finance until I realized
how important it was. I wasalways Basketball. Basketball is
how I'm gonna make it, becausein the inner city, that's
something that we all look upto. But when I realized how much
I was never taught that, when Irealized how much finances

(11:16):
played a role, I developed alove for it, and that's when I
really put my study into that,and

then you went on to three or four different
colleges. Why the variousschools?

You know, basketball is a very political
game, and there's certain thingsthat happen. I actually my
freshman year, I ended upgetting sick, I had the red
shirt, and then I came into mysophomore year a little bit
behind the eight ball, and thenI transferred to an HBCU
Southern University inLouisiana, and I broke my fifth
metatarsal in my foot, so Itransferred there, and I

(11:45):
finished out my career atAlbertus Magnus in Connecticut.

Then you went to the Dominican Republic. And for
those people who don't knowthat, it's a basketball Mecca,
the baseball is the most popularsport in the Dominican Republic.
And then it comes basketballfootball, which is soccer as
well. But the league there isthe Liga Nacional, the Bologna

(12:09):
sesco. It's called the LMB,established in 2005 six teams in
the league. You play threemonths a year, three it's a it's
a tournament.

So there's different tournaments all
throughout the country. And alot of guys that play in the G
league who G League, or a lot ofguys that had short stints in
the NBA. I had a season therewhen I was with Josh Shelby. I
don't know if he played withLebron, and there's a couple.
It's a really, you know, whenyou travel the world, we live in
America, so all we know is NBA,but there's so basketball, such
a global game, that there's alot of talent overseas, and it's

(12:40):
very difficult, you know, it'svery competitive. And you know
the difference betweenprofessional and colleges. When
you're professional, these guysare fighting to put food on the
table, so it's a lot morecutthroat over there.

So how much money are you making? And tell
us about the school bussesyou're traveling. And it's not
like luxury coaches, where so

some of the top teams, which is Metro which is
metros, Leones, and the team Iwas on, they have, they have
really good busses. But thebottom teams are not other teams
with the low budget. So the guysover there that are the top
guys, the Americans, they makeit anywhere from like 12,000 to
10,000 a month rookie contract.
I was only making like 2500 amonth when I came out of there

(13:25):
my rookie I had to work my wayup. And the most that I made in
Dominican Republic was my goingin my third year, I was making
about eight grand a month overthere for the three months, and
then I would come back home, andthen I would go back over to Dr,
and then play anothertournament, and then come back
home, and then did a short stintin Spain, and then come back
home. Spain is more of an eightmonth season, so yeah, but

(13:47):
there's guys over there thatmake good money if you're on the
top team, the top three teams,if you're on the bottom teams,
you're kind of fighting to go toa different country or get up to
the top teams that right there,

Spanish is a native language there. So, and I
know you speak a little bit, Iknow you're communicating with
some of the women. Quito.
Where'd you learn Spanish?

My grandmother taught me a little bit of
Spanish. And from being in thecountry, I know how to speak
just certain foods, certainfoods, and how to get
directions. You know, becauseyou'll get lost over there, and
the locals over there, if youdon't know Spanish, they'll try
to nickel and dime you for, youknow, try to get over on you. So
you have to learn pretty fastyou get

hurt there. What was the injury? So

I injured my shooting. I actually had surgery
on this arm, because when I wentbaseline and I dunked and I cut
my arm on the backboard, andyou're up

there pretty high for cutting your arm on the
backboard. I was up there prettyup

there pretty high.
I was up there pretty high, andthey it was a small cut, and
they didn't clean it outproperly, and it ended up
developing into MRSA, and itwent undetected for a while. And
if I would have had that foranother two or three weeks, it
would have turned into sepsis,and I would have had to get my
arm amputated. So that wassomething. And that was really
traumatic in my life. And thatwasn't when I was like, You know
what? I think I'm gonna relax onbasketball for a while. Because,

(15:04):
yeah, I wasn't. I had to get aforgiveness call. But it's a
medicine tube that they pump inyour arm for an hour and a half
every day, and I had to get acatheter. I think, believe
that's what it's called, putover, put over in your arm, and
they place it like around thisarea, over your heart, and it
pumped the medicine into yourarm to kill your arm to kill the
to kill the infection. So

you finished playing. You're not getting $100
million contract in the NBA. No,no, no. Far from that, and you
learned day trading. Was JoshSelby, day trading? Is that how
you learned the craft? No.

So I actually did the research myself. You know,
around that time, there was abig influx of knowledge around
trading, and people were gettinginto the markets around the time
of COVID. And my mentor, who Ilearned from him, I found him on
YouTube, and I reached out tohim, and he decided to teach me
something. His name is ICT,which, that's his nickname he

(16:00):
goes by, but he's on YouTube,and he was in the market for 30
years, and you know, he has somevery controversial opinions on
on the market. And you know, Idecided to look into him, and he
ended up, you know, teaching mesome algorithmic principles that
go along with time and price inthe market. And yeah, from
there, I just studied, and I'vebeen in, I've been doing it for

(16:20):
about five years

now, you're trading what's known as S P
futures. S P futures, what isthe S P for those people who
don't know? And what are futuresfor those people who don't know?

Yeah, so future the futures market is is trading the
stock market as a whole. Soyou'll have the S P, the NASDAQ,
the Dow Jones, and it'sdifferent than options, because
there's no expiration date onyour contract. So

go, go back a step. Okay, there's people who
have no idea what we're talkingabout right now. Okay, so let's,
let me jump it down a littlebit. Let's,

let's go, Yeah, so basically, day trading, and
trading the SMPS, you're tradingsome of the cop, the top
companies in the United Statesas a whole. So the S P is the
backbone to the to the financialmarkets. What the S P does along
with interest rates? Well, whatis the S P? S P is some of the
best 500 companies that are inthe United States. So it's a

(17:14):
conglomerate of all the bestcompanies in one, you know,
which would be app, sometimesapples and the NASDAQ is under
the S P, they're all in aconglomerate, okay?

And so when people talk about the market,
they're talking about the S p5100, which, again, is something
that most people don't, don't

know. And there's different ways, like you could
trade an individual stock, whichwould be Apple or Tesla or
Amazon, or you could trade S P,which would be a conglomerate of
all the companies in one

so you went all in on this for three years and
lost all your money. How muchmoney did you have and how much
did you lose?

Well, I didn't lose everything, but I was pretty
close. I didn't have good riskmanagement, and I was really
eager. And you know, when Istarted off, I didn't make a
whole lot of money coming out. Ihad about $60,000 saved up from
playing, and I decided to putsome money into a an account and

(18:16):
trade that. What I should havedone was trade demo, but I was
really eager, you know, trade ademo account, which is not live
funds to learn, but I was reallyeager. And I lost, I lost a
very, very good amount of mymoney to where I didn't have
any, I didn't have any cushionfor a while, you know, because I
was I put it all in on trading.
There's a

lot out there about day trading, and the stats
show that 80 and 90% of all daytraders lose their money, go out
of business, Yes, correct. Sowhen you're looking at your what
you're up to, was there a betteroption? And did you understand
the risk and say, Do I reallywant to do this?

I think that I definitely understood the risk.
But I'm a little bit naive, in asense. I believe in myself a
lot. You know, I believe inmyself so much that I'll go on a
show and never, never performand do it, you know, and or do
something where you know, it'show much I have self believe in.
And I, when I was taking mylosses, I did get down on myself

(19:15):
a lot, you know, it could be, itcould be depressing, but I
always knew that I was going tofigure it out and find a way to
make it work, because trading,there's a whole bunch of
different philosophies, but themain thing is discipline,
discipline and routine andstructure and doing the same
thing every day over a period oftime, small wins, they add up to

(19:36):
a large sum over the course of510, years. So I knew that if I
could get discipline down and mymental down, that I could
accomplish it. And I thinkthat's why most people fail in
trading, because they don't havethe discipline to withstand the
losses that incur. Did

you measure your return? Or have you measured
returning each year? Becausewhen we think about money
managers and managing our owncapital, no one. Beats the
market long term, right? Warren.
Warren Buffett is the onlyperson who's beat over 30 years.
If you're not working or seeingsomeone in Omaha, Nebraska, and
you're randomly meeting to them,you're not going to find the

(20:12):
next one. So have you measureyour returns and what have their
returns been year by year?

So I don't really get into my returns, because I
am, you know, over a span offive to 10 years, if I could do
five to 8% annually, I would bereally happy with that, and
basically not beat the S P, butjust go along with the S P.

Well, that's way under the S P, the S P average
over the last 20 years, 10.4%point 4% tax efficient. So
you're now getting hit on theday trading the

taxes. But if you can get access to more capital,
the more capital you have, youdon't have to have as large of
returns. If I have access to$300,000 and I do 10% through
the year, you know, that's$30,000 if I have access to $3
million and I do a 10% year,it's a lot more money. So the
key is more capital, and thenthe way you beat taxes is you

(21:04):
just allocate in differentareas. There's there's ways to
do it, and there's ways to notbeat taxes, but to lessen the
blow that they take on you. Areyou a warrant buffer fan? I am a
warren buffett fan, but hetraded a lot off of
fundamentals. And I'm not. I'mmore of a technical guy. You
know, I believe in technicalsalong with fundamentals, but I

(21:24):
you have to respect anybodythat's the best to ever do it.
So I have major respect forWarren Buffet,

all right, he said, if you're not willing to
hold the stock for 10 years,don't even think about holding
it for 10 seconds. Yeah.

But there's things that you know change. There's
things that changed ever since,you know, 2030, years ago, the
market 4050, even 50 years ago,the market is a digital market.
Now it's electronic. And youknow, you could hold the stock
for 10 years, or you could readthe charts and you could hold
the stock for maybe a year, oryou could read the charts and

(21:56):
you could try to hold the stockor hold the position for five
minutes, 10 minutes. You know,there's ways to, uh, read
certain characteristics that themarket has and not time it, but
be able to ride the wave thatthat order flow brings. So
that's something that I I reallytry. I pride myself on, and I
had the stats to back it up. Youknow, I work with the top

(22:18):
proprietary firm in the country,which is top step, and I've been
with them for about two years.
And you know, my plan is overfive years, five to seven years,
to have consistent returns, andthen bring my portfolio to a
manager and say, This is whatI've done, and then request more
capital. And that's where thingsget really interesting. Do you
trade in

Bitcoin? Do you think it's a good investment?
And do you have any predictionson where it's gonna be five
years from

now? I don't touch crypto. I don't touch crypto. I
stick strictly with the S and p5100. I think that's the smartest
move. You know, I think cryptois a way to make money fast but
when you get in that mentalityof making fast money, then you
start gambling. So I would muchrather have a larger pool of
capital and just take smallpieces and just build that up

(23:07):
over a loan. So I don't touchcrypto. I don't know. I couldn't
even tell you where trading at

right now. You know, what's so interesting to
me is, you think that'sgambling, but day trading is not
gambling. But if you look at allthe pundits, everyone says day
trading is gambling. Humans

are interesting.
You know, they will ride a waveor everybody, I think you can't
speak on day trading unless youhave skin in the game more than
three to five years. Then youcould tell me, it's gambling. If
you go in there and you try itfor three months or a year and
you lose a bunch of money,you're gonna be like, Oh, this
is, this is, this is gambling.

(23:39):
But if you go in there, and youdo it over and over again, and
you take your lumps, and you getback up, you'll see that there's
a way to not beat the market,but you could get consistent
returns over a long period oftime and be financially stable
enough and develop a game planto where, if you could acquire
more capital, you could makesome really, really good money.

(24:00):
So you've

been day trading now six or seven years. What's a
professional dream? So,

you know, to start a hedge fund is probably my
number one goal. Like,obviously, the opportunities
that come with being a bachelorare great, you know, but I'm,
I'm not really an influencer. Iput so much effort into trading,
and so much of my skin and somuch of my so much of my mental
into the game that I'm nevergonna stop that's I want to be

(24:29):
the best, and I think that'ssomething that I'll never stop
doing. So, yeah, to start ahedge fund and to be able to,
you know, tell former athleteshow to invest their money, I
think that's something that Ireally, really enjoyed, enjoy.

So a lot of the listeners and viewers to the
show have no idea what a hedgefund is. So can you tell
everyone what it is and theeconomics of it and how hedge
fund managers make money?

Yeah. So a hedge fund is basically just you're
acquiring pools of liquidity orpools of money, and you're
telling your investors where toallocate their money. And. And
you'll just charge a commissionor fee for for the deal, you
know. So if I, if I give you a10% return on your investment, I
will just charge a fee for that.
And like I said, the way youmake money is in a numbers game.

(25:11):
The more money that I have, themore investors I have, the more
money that I'll be able to makeon the returns that I am able to
allocate for each investment

and tell people how the fee structure two and 20
works for the hedge fundmanager, and how all these hedge
fund managers become rich.

Yeah, like I said, it's just for it's a numbers
game, you know, for for me, itwould be a numbers game in terms
of how I'm going to charge andhow I'm going to allocate my
different my different funds.
But yeah, that's something thatI have in the works now. And
yeah, I'm still a good three,three to four years off from
from really structuring that

the term hedge fund was originally coined
because a hedge was a noncorrelated class to the market,
right, to hedge your bet, right?
So today it's a misnomer, yeah,because you have all these funds
who basically do the same thingas the mutual fund. So instead
of paying a 2% feature and 20%of the profits, you could buy a
mutual fund where the averageexpense ratio, how much cost to
run the fund, is 1% right?

(26:14):
Crazy, but if you can get thetwo and 20 model for doing the
same thing as the 1% you'drather have the two and 20 model
you'd

rather have that, yeah, and I think there's, you
know, with hedging, there's somany different ways to do it,
and there's so many differentmodels to have. So finding one
that you you feel best suits youis is really important. I

think so much of what we do professionally is our
mental state and how we go intoit. But we love to read books as
well. To see how we learn is oneway to learn. So your favorite
book is the psychology of money.
Talk to us about what youlearned from that book, and you
still practice those each dayand say, oh gosh, I'm having a
shitty trading day. Got to goback to the book and got to help
it bring me in a little bit.

(26:58):
Yeah,

100% I think the main thing that I learned from
that and the psychology aspectwas just that trading is not a
short term game, it's a longterm game, and if you could
master that concept and stackyour wins and master yourself in
the psychological aspect, you'llbe able to get those returns. So

(27:19):
that that book was very pivotalin my learning and trading in
the markets, because at acertain time I was rushing, I
was impatient, I was greedy. Andbecause the market, it plays
tricks on your mental you know,when there's an infinite amount
of money in the market andyou're telling me, if I just hit
one trade, I could make thismuch or this much, you get lost.
You have to, like I said, youhave to take small pieces. So

(27:40):
that's where, that's where thatbook helped me and kind of turn
the corner from me.

Let's talk about relationships now. We're gonna
spend a lot of time talkingabout it. How old were you when
you had your first crush on agirl? What was your name and did
you do anything?

Man, I was pretty young. I watched the movie love
don't cost a thing with NickCannon and Christina milion, and
that's when I had my firstcrush. I don't remember how old
I was, but I know I wasn't oldenough to drive or have a beer.
I'll tell you that much, youknow. So I was pretty young.

My first crush, kindergarten, first grade, Jill
blade, I remember, so pretty Istuttered. So I wasn't the cool
kid. And this guy, Todd, Fink,who was in our class, could draw
all of these battleships. Okay,that's great. So I try to say,
Okay, well, if I can learn fromTodd, who is my best friend
back, then I could draw youbattleships, right? Maybe Jill

(28:34):
will even give me the time ofday and she'll talk to me,
right, right? Did you learn howto, how to draw the ships? I
mean, I was like A, C, Todd,like a, a plus, plus.

Okay, okay, yeah, that's funny.

Man, how old were you when you had your first
kiss? Man,

this is gonna sound crazy, but I remember my first
kiss was. It was, like a playfulthing. It was during nap time.
It was, like, honestly, inkindergarten, and I gave this
girl a kiss on the cheek. Iremember we were, you know,
because we had nap time. I wentto a school called Good Shepherd
Christian Academy, and we werehaving our nap time, and I got
up, and I remember I gave herlike a teddy bear, and I kissed

(29:08):
her on the cheek, and that wasmy first kiss that I ever

had. All right, not counting that one, not
counting that one doesn't countlip to lift kiss. How old were
you?

Maybe like, 12 or 13, maybe in that in that range,
you know. Now I don't reallyremember that that far into it,
you know. I remember thekindergarten, but I don't
remember, like, my first actual,my first actual kiss, like that.

Are you comfortable sharing first time
you were intimate with anotherwoman? So

a lot of my high school career, I focus on
basketball, you know, Iremember, I always, probably,
probably, like, late teens,honestly, late teens, you know,
and then going into college, not

gonna ask you her first name, by the way,

yeah, I'm not gonna. But, and then going into
college, I met a wonderfulwoman, and we ended up getting
into a really seriousrelationship, and that was my
first relationship. It ended upbeing seven years. Yeah, and
that taught me a lot about whatlove is, and that is more than

(30:07):
just a word, it's an action, andtaught me a lot of things about
myself that I needed to work on.

You broke up a lot. You're on, you're off,
you're on, you're off. I see somany people staying too long in
a relationship, when is theright point where someone should
say, This isn't working? I havean investment in for years, and
it's time to just move on. I

say there's two factors, a, when you start to
lose yourself, when you start tonegate your goals and your
priorities, and then two or Bwould be when you start to it's
good to prioritize somebody,right? But when you start to let
go of your interests and loseyourself in that relationship, I

(30:52):
think that it's time to leaveand find yourself. You know you
have to be able to find thebalance of being yourself and
letting your partner bethemselves and be in a union
where you guys are both able tohave fun, be yourself, but be in
love, you know? So, yeah, whenyou start to lose yourself, I
would say

there's a moment on the second show of the batch
of the season where all thesewomen are waiting around.
They're in the mansion when thistall, good looking woman runs in
all women are like, Oh, my God,oh my God. Is that the ex
girlfriend? That's my sister,your sister. She's a model,
she's a model, and you guys aretight. Yeah,

we're super close, man, we're so it's crazy because
we're we're different, but we'rethe same in a lot of ways. And I
think the one thing that we bondover is our childhood. We both
went through the same thingstogether, so we have our
differences, but the one thingthat we always are locked in
over is what we went through andand how it forged our
personalities into the adults weare today.

One of the reasons why we're here is
because want to promote theshow. You want to give your
sister a plug what you'reworking on and, you know, just
give her a

shout out, kind of, yeah, shout out to you, sis. I
love you. You You know, keepdoing your thing. She actually
just went to Paris Fashion Week,so I hope she brought me back
some, some drip. You know, Iwould like that. Okay,

there you go.
I'm sure right now you can getyour own drip. Yeah, I don't
think you need your sister.

I don't, I don't.
But, you know, listen, ParisFashion Week is a dope adult
weekend.

Are people now sending you free shit? Like, are
you getting people just sendingit your publicist or ABC, and
everyone's just like, okay, man,I want grant to wear this.
Wanted to wear it on the show.
Or,

well, you know, we filmed the show prior, but
people do send stuff, you know.
And obviously, you know, it's,it's a business, you know. But I
enjoy seeing, you know, what thecompanies are sending it. Like I
said, I'm enjoying it. I'menjoying getting free stuff. You
know, it's the first time thatI've ever been have anything
sent to me free. You know,

it's cool. Some people have sent me some cool
stuff just for my show. Theyknow I love the shoes. I'm into
the kicks. Got some pickleballrackets. Selkirk hula, I've had
that number one player men andwomen on my show too. So it's
kind of cool. Yeah, it's supercool. Man, it's super cool.
Yeah, so, after the seven years,you date a woman for one and a
half years, and then you went onthe apps, yeah? So, what apps

(33:07):
were you on? And how did thatgo?

Yeah, I so, you know, I was, I did. So after the
seven and a half yearrelationship, I was single for a
long time because I really puteverything into that
relationship. And I tried, youknow, hinge, I try, but it's
just wasn't me, you know, Ithink that okay, so

you're on hinge, hinge, yeah. Hinge is like,
throwing your picture up there.
Yeah, yeah.

Hinges for people that are looking for like, like
relationship, but, you know, alot of times things don't work
out. And then for me, I'm moreof like, an in person. I want to
sit down and have a conversationin person, because it's
different. So did that for awhile. Didn't really go on any
dates from it. And then, youknow, I was dates from now. I
didn't, you know, I wasn'treally into it. You know, I was

(33:52):
at a point in my life where Iwas focusing on career, career,
career, career, like lifecareer, and taking care of my
family. And I, it took me abouttook me a good year to really
get over to get over heartbreak.
It took me a long time, and Iknew that I was gonna get over
it by just replacing it withsomebody else, because I was
gonna take bad habits and bringit to the next person. So I just

(34:13):
try. I really tried to work onmyself, and I really dug into my
faith, and that's kind of whatgot me through. That got me
through that time, you know,being alone, because it got
lonely, and I'll come homealone, and, you know, I spend
time, you know, with, with, withmy sister's dog. He's diesel.
What kind of dog? He's like, aminiature palm sheet, kind of

(34:33):
like a mix, you know, he's, he'sbad, though he's a little, he's
a bad, he's, he's a good dog,but he's, like, he's a little
brat, but yeah, that my faithreally got me through that, and
my faith really got me through alot of hard times in my life,
with my father's addiction andwith me getting sick and almost
losing my arm. And you know,because you could be up one

(34:54):
minute, and then you never knowwhen you're gonna get sick, or
you never know. When people aregoing to turn on you. But the
one thing I found out is thatI'm never I could always pray
and because life isunpredictable, man like right
now, I'm 31 I'm in shape, youknow, I carry myself well, I
have my stuff together. But whoknows, you know? Who knows is

(35:16):
going to happen, and who knowsyou could love somebody with all
your heart, that's that's themain thing I learned from my
last relationship. You couldthink somebody is your world,
married your parents, but sothey're gonna let you down at
one point, the thing that'snever gonna let you down is,
God, he's never gonna let youdown. He's always gonna have

(35:36):
your back. Look what justhappened with the fires in LA.
You know, people work theirwhole life, and they build up
these material things which aregood, but you can't take those
with you when you die. So yeah,that. I think that's what really
made me sit and say, You knowwhat? Let me wait and not rush
into another relationship,because I'm gonna put my heart
in there, and then if I get hurtagain. I don't know how many of

(35:58):
those I could take, you know, Idon't know how many of those I
could take before I start toreally doubt myself. And I'm a
pretty confident guy, you know,so, and I got a call, you know,
to, you know, my mom is alwayspraying for me. She's actually a
chaplain, so she, I don't knowwhat got into her to sign me up
for the Bachelorette, but shesigned me up, and here I am

(36:20):
today.

She go to church on a regular basis.

I don't, I don't go to church on a regular basis.
I'm not overly religious. Youknow, I like music, you know, I
have drinks here and there. Evensee when I show you I'm kissing
and I'm dating. And you know, Iknow that nobody's perfect. You
don't have to go to church everyevery week. You know you don't
have to go to church every week.
But the main thing I try to dois I try to read my word because
that's how I when I'm confusedand I don't know what to do.

(36:48):
That's where my foundation comesfrom. And like I said, you know,
nobody's perfect. I think thatthat's one thing that people
have to realize, that the waythat you get through to people
is by you just love them. Youknow, you love people. You be
there for them, and you don'tjudge people. Because, you know,
you could be sitting therelooking at somebody, oh, this
person's doing that and that.
But you got your own you gotyour own demons that you're

(37:10):
fighting too. So that's whathelped me forget my dad.
Honestly, what's your favoritedrink you mentioned? You know,
I'm a Hennessy guy. I love anice Hennessy on the rocks. It's
like my my go to drink ofchoice. So I know I'm getting
old man. I just love Hennessy. Idon't know

why. So you mentioned you're confident, and
we see that out of the show, butyou're not cocky either. And I
think there's a fine line there.
When you were single, were youone of these guys that could
just kind of slither up to awoman and ask her out, no
problem? Or were you nervouswhen you just go up to some
strange woman. No, I don't everget nervous, you know. I know. I

(37:43):
have that never when you wereyounger, and you just would walk
up to some girl. I don't

get nervous. I think that because I was raised
around women, I, you know, Iknow how to talk to women, and I
don't have the, I don't alwayshave to have the intention of,
I'm gonna try to, you know. AndI think that, you know, having
the ability to do that, but notdoing that, it, it definitely
forges character, and it bringscharacter, because you know,

(38:10):
when you when you do that, notto say you're taking advantage,
but you're using, you know,something that you have to get
what you want, which is notalways, is not the best thing to
do. So I try to, you know, Iknow that I had that ability to
do that, but I hold back becauseI know one thing I do know is
that being in a relationship, itfor me, it brings stability. It

(38:34):
bring it helps me in my life,helps me in my pursuits and my
business, and having somebodythat's there for you, because
you could have a vibe orconnection with 50,000 people,
but having somebody that's goingto stick with you when you're
down and out, that's what Iwant. You know, I don't want to
just have meaninglessconnections.

Our confidence grows as we get older and are
more successful. But I went whenI think back to my teens and my
college years, we'd have tothrow down some Bruce keys to
have the courage to go up to awoman, right? And I had a pickup
line, you know? We said, Okay,what do you what's a good pickup
line? And I determined the bestone was, are those your shoes?

All right, hey, listen, that's, that's a
conversation starter. It's a

conversation starter, yeah, and it's, it's,
it's weird, right? What isfunny? It's funny. Yeah,

you never know what's gonna work. I don't
really have any pickup lines. II never, really, I never went in
there with like, a pickup line.
I just make conversation andthen you want to drink, you
know, like, what's your favoritedrink? I'll get it for you.
Don't worry about it, you know.
And that's a conversationstarter. All right,

we're leading up to the bachelor, but it started
with the Bachelorette. You wereon season 21 and how did that
come about? Yeah,

my mom signed me up, so for the Bachelorette, for
the bat. So in order to becomethe bachelor, you have to be the
on The Bachelor,

right? So I'm talking about the Bachelorette.
How did the bachelorette comeabout?

Yeah, she my mom signed me up for the Bachelor.
Right for that too. No, I'msaying you don't sign up for the
Bachelor in order to I see,yeah, in order to be the
bachelor, you have to first beon The Bachelorette. So my, my
mom saw the Bachelorette, or shesaw the first golden bachelor,
and she signed me up for theBachelorette, which was the next
season, right?

Yeah, the golden bachelor was last year. Was
Gary. Yeah, that was a 72 yearold man. Retire, retire. Yup,
marriage lasted three months.
Yep,

it's, and listen, it's, everybody's relationship
is different. You know, thingshappen differently. You know,
some people fall, fall off, somepeople stay strong, and
everybody's at different points

in their life.
So Jen, Tran was theBachelorette, right? And you
were sent home, I think, withfive people to go, right? You
cried. Yes,

I did. I was a little baby right there.

Why do you view that as a baby? Um,

you know, I honestly. I think vulnerability
is important, honestly. And, youknow, people may look at that
and like you just met thiswoman, but when you go on there,
I just, I just got off, I justgot out of a seven year
relationship. I just spent awhole year and changed being
single, and then I went on to adating show where, you know,
it's, it's a nationallytelevised thing. So when that

(41:14):
happened, you know, I was alittle bit in my feelings. And,
you know, I like I I'm gonna sayI am an emotional guy, but I'm
also strong, and I also carrymyself with strength and
integrity and dignity, but I'mnot afraid to, you know, show my
feelings, not too much, but whenI do, it means something to me.
You know, something that reallyevokes emotion to me is my
relationship with my dad or myfaith. Those are two things that

(41:36):
really, when I talk about them,I get a little emotional because
I know how much that means tome. And I think in that
situation, it was just aculmination of everything, and
it just yeah, just happened.

Why are so many men afraid to cry and show their
emotions? I've cried on my showmany times. I think people here
will tell you that I've had alarge number of my guests cry on
my show, but it's something thatwe try to hold in because it's
not macho. I think

that a lot of men try to come off as, you know,
like strong and, and, which isgood to have strength. I think
that I've been around athletesmy whole life, and it's very
like macho and, and, you know,but I think the, I think the
bravest thing you could do, Ithink the most manly thing you
could do is, number one issacrifice, and then number two,

(42:24):
to be in touch with youremotions and be able to, yeah,
I'll cry, but you know, if youdisrespect me, I'm gonna let you
know, and I'm not gonna take,I'm not gonna take any
disrespect, but I'm also gonna,you know, be in touch with my
feelings, because that gives youempathy. You know, when you have
a daughter one day, I bet you'regonna cry, you know, I bet
you're gonna be so it's like,it's okay to cry, but there's a

(42:45):
time and a place for it, andthere's a time and a place to be
strong. You just have to learntiming. You ever

pull up to a stop sign or a light when you're
in your car, you got a fancycar, and we're gonna talk about
your Ferrari in a minute. Sopeople are looking at your car,
they're like, dude, man, I'vegot a Tesla plant, but I sit
there and you're like, Allright, we're gonna see who's
faster. All right, so even ifyou're not willing to race,
you're not even thinking aboutit. Some guy floors it. Our

(43:12):
competitive instinct kicks in,right? It's all you hit it,
don't you? Right out of thegate.

I've never, I've never, I'm really careful with
my car. I'm really careful. I'ma bit of a when it comes to
that. I'm a bit of a stickler.
But I think, what if, in termsof, like, guys being
competitive, I guys are really,you know, you ever been in a gym
and you're benching and somebodytries to bench more than you, or
you're on the boxing bag, andguys try to, like, you know,
they try to see, they try tomeasure up. I think it's just in

(43:37):
our DNA. For whatever reason,it's just part of our nature,
and that's it's healthy, butthere's a bit of it that's
toxic, too, yeah,

and when you're on The Bachelorette, right?
You're sitting there and you gota bunch of good looking, great
guys, there isn't a competition,even if you're not in it at this
point, to find your spouse.
You're looking around a manlike, I just want to win.

I didn't. That didn't really cross my mind for
me, winning was like, because Ididn't look at it like, I'm
winning, you know, I was justtrying to form a connection with
somebody. And,

yeah, but there is that human element. I mean,
you see it on the show, right? I

think, I think the main where that comes in is
night one, when you meet all theguys and everybody's talking
about their jobs and this andthat, and, yeah, there's a
little bit of like, chess pokingout. But me, I'm like, I try to,
I stay quiet. You know, I stayquiet because I think that this
the strongest men are the onesthat are silent. You know, if
you ever study martial arts orboxing, it's like, you have a

(44:38):
guy coming to the gym and theytry to act all tough, but the
guys that are really serious,they don't really talk much,
because they know what they'recapable of. So I just, I stay
kind of silent. I don't like butthere's a lot of that. There's a
lot of chitter chatter going on,especially night one. You look
at

countries like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, India,
arranged marriages are the norm.
So someone sets you up. You'repaying. Aaron, and you're saying
you are married that person. Youhave no choice. You've never met
them, you've never slept withthem. You don't know anything
about them. Isn't the bachelorand bachelorette kind of the
same thing. Here's 25 people,and you're really they're

(45:13):
preordained. You're going tofind somebody, and it's going to
be one of the 25

Yeah. I mean, that's an interesting way to
look at it, but it, you know,sometimes people hit it off. You
know, sometimes you really, youfind your person. And I think
that it's all about where you'reat in your life. If you're
really ready for a relationship,and you find somebody that you
like, you're going to make itwork, you know, because there's
always going to be more outthere, you know, there's always

(45:40):
going to be another if you're awoman, there's always going to
be another handsome guy, oranother guy with more money, or
another famous guy. If you're aman, there's always going to be
a beautiful woman out there. Butif you find somebody that you
could have a relationship withand be your best friend, that's
irreplaceable. So I feel like ifyou could develop that on the
show, it works. So

the bachelor started in 2002 It's a hit show.
We're in season 29 right now.
When did you first learn thatyour mom had submitted an
application? Where were youduring that day? And what are
you thinking I was

I was at my computer training, and she
called me in the morning, and atfirst I, you know, because in
order to go on the show, you gotto freeze your accounts, and
then you gotta be away from themarket for three months. And I
was in a groove, and I was like,man. But then I talked to my dad
and my mom and like, Listen,son. Like, you never know what's
gonna happen. You can find yourwife. And, you know, we see how

(46:32):
focused you are. You need totake a break, and you need to
just, you need to do this. So Iwas like, You know what? I'm
gonna listen. And I listen. Andthen it led to this.

He said two things. You said, I want to find
my future wife, and it's a oncein a lifetime opportunity.
What's the opportunity

that in itself, finding your partner, you know,
finding your partner, butthere's also, there's also you,
you go on the show to find yourperson. But you know, it's
inevitable that things come fromit. You know, there's a whole
bunch of things that come fromit, but you have to keep your
relationship, your relationship.
Are you looking for arelationship with priority?

(47:10):
Because people could sense whenyou're not genuine. You have to
be genuine. You have to beyourself, and you have to be
there to look for it, you know?
So, yeah, yeah. I think that'sthe main opportunity, and then
it puts you in a differentposition. You know, my dad, who
was in rehab, he's now workingat a sober home in New York that

(47:32):
was facilitated through somebodythat saw me on the show and
reached out, and then thingshappened, and now he's working
in New York City, you know,teaching and speaking for for
people that with addiction. Sothose are the things and it's
brought, you know, when mygrandmother passed away, my
family was divided. I became thebachelor, and now my family is a
unit, and it's all centeredaround me and because they're

(47:55):
excited and, you know, so peoplethat haven't talked in three
years are talking to each othernow. So those are some of the
opportunities that come withit's not only monetary. It's
also opportunities withrelationships and family life
and just growing and thisjourney that we live in life,

but you have to be considering before you're on
the show. Hey, good things aregoing to happen to me. Were you
thinking about that? And whatare some of the good things that
are happening to you now, nowthat the show is filmed. Yeah,

it's that's inevitable. You know, I listen.
I went to the NASDAQ. I met Iwatched the company have their
IPO COVID. That's what I'msaying. I'm like, I watched this
market flexible every day. Sothose are some of the things
like you. I didn't think aboutthat in the future, but when you
know the press Run, when theseopportunities or these things
are coming, I'm like, Wow. Youknow, this is opportunity for me

(48:47):
to really make connections, and,you know, show them that and
gain some respect. As a trader,people like I think that a
platform to show people andtransparency, to show people
that it's possible to do thisand to be transparent. And, you

(49:09):
know, I think that's a reallybig opportunity there. So that's
something that in itself, that,uh, that that I would like to
pursue.

Did you want to be famous when you were a kid?
And do you want to be famousnow?

I don't think, I think that fame is, you know, a
gift and a curse. I think that,you know, people are in your
business, people always haveopinions about you. I think that
there's a solace that comes withbeing kind of private. I was a
very private person before. Imean, my Instagram had one
profile picture so, but I alwaysknew I had, you know, I always
knew I was talented, you know, Icould dance, I could do certain

(49:41):
things, and I think it's justgood to put it out there. You
know, just be yourself, beauthentic. And I'm not never
searching for fame. Never willyou know what I'm saying, but I
think that influence is a goodway to point people in the right
direction. How many

interviews did you have to have to actually be
on the show and who'sinterviewing you? So

you have to, you go through, there's a process that
you go through to be on theshow, to be interviewed. You go
through like, three interviews,three or four interviews.

What level are we talking about? The president
of ABC finally getting in there,or someone a little lower down
on the when

you're when you're in the process of going on The
Bachelorette. It's someproducers and, you know, some
EPs and things of that. Butthen, you know, there's when
you're in the interview tobecome the lead. It's a, there's
a there's a hierarchy that yougo through. So you meet some,
some really cool people, and youknow, they just assess your
character, and they assess, youknow, because it's one thing to

(50:38):
fall in love, but you know, whenyou're nationally televised, you
have to people want to you haveto have the ability for people
to want to watch you fall inlove you know, or or watch your
story, or be interested orinvested. So I think that's just
part of the interviewingprocess. These

are one on one interviews, and how many are
there, and what's the length oftime that this process is going

on. Some of them are via zoom. Some of them are
in person, but I would say it's,I would say, about a month. And

do they tell you? All right, you passed the
first round, the second round,and now there's five, and you're
a finalist. And are you goinghome worrying? Man, I got to
compete with five other people.
No,

no, no, it's very much. Call, you know, we like
you call. Okay, you're gonna beon call. Okay, pack your bags.
You're leaving in, you know,saying you're leaving here,
you're leaving in two weeks, youknow. So it's two weeks, I don't
have a specific time period, butthat's just Yeah, but it's how
long before

you get it? Do you start the show? Is it two
weeks? You gotta Yeah?

About a probably about a month, anywhere between
three weeks, you know. And thatrange, a month, three weeks
range.

So who called you? Actually called you and
say, Hey, Grant you're itsometimes,

you know, I have a really, you know, I have really,
really close relationship withsome of the EPS. And it's, you
know, the EPS that call

what kind of preparation is involved for the
show? Do you take publicspeaking? I mean, you're a very
articulate, well spoken person,but there has to be some
awkwardness in front of thecamera following you around. I
mean, you did it on TheBachelorette, but I'm new to the
podcast and, well, I'm not newto the podcasting world, but I'm
new to holding the camera infront of my face. It's awkward.
I feel very silly InstagramLive. I feel silly you doing

(52:11):
training for the show. I never

really I think that just press from playing
basketball I was able to like Iknow how to speak, but I'll tell
you, the most awkward thing is,when I'm, like, having to
document my life, like, you knowyou're going to restaurant,
like, Oh, me eating my food, orI never, I never was really into
that. So that's probably themost awkward thing for me. But
in terms of speaking, I don'treally, I don't know. I just, I

(52:33):
don't really struggle with that.
I think talking slow is a bigthing, or being able to
formulate your words. I don't, Inever really had any training

on it. When you're on the show and they're
filming a restaurant scene, Inoticed sometimes you got the
whole place to yourself, but areyou walking in with a camera
crew to a restaurant or acrowded place, and it's awkward,
everyone's looking at you, andit's just like hard to just not
be embarrassed.

Yeah, that's awkward. But the most awkward
part is when you're having areally intimate moment with
somebody, and you know you'reengaged in a kiss, and you know
that it's the cameras therethat's probably, that's probably
the most awkward moment. Andthen two, you know, on the show,
you know, they do such a goodjob. They want all the important
moments to be, to happen and tobe seen. So if you're in

(53:18):
private, you know, and you'resaying all of the things that
you know they want, you know thepeople, the story has to be
told. So just having thosemoments caught on camera, I
think that's probably there's abit of awkwardness to it, but
you know, somebody gotta do it.
So 25

contests on the show, ages 21 to 31 various
professional got a venturecapitalist. You've got a
influencer who brought her llamainto the show, which is the
weirdest thing ever, but makesfor good TV. Do you see the bios
of the women on the show beforeyou get there? No,

no. Nothing about them. Nothing you know, nothing.
The first time that you meet thelovely ladies there is night
one.

Meet them. Night One, we pull up to a limo, for
those people who haven't seenthe show. You hop

out the limo, and then you stand there, and then
you wait for, you wait for allthe ladies to come and with
their entrance, and that's,that's where there's nerves.

They all do some, like, funky stuff, yeah,
like someone brought you acrystal basketball. And, you
know, some of this stuff islike, okay, come on, right? But
they put a lot of thought intoit. What was your favorite one?
I

think I'm an animal lover. So I like, I love the
llama. You know, I'm happy Ididn't get spin on. I'm happy
that that didn't happen. But I'man animal lover, man, I love
animals. So that was probablyone of my most favorite
entrances, and that was

the first row was the first solo date. Yeah,
the first row was the firstsolid date. Yep, when you were
single, did you date multiplewomen at the same time? Never,

I never. I'm I am a one relationship type of guy,
like, you know, I likecommitment. I like the stability
that comes with that. And it's alot of, you know, I trade so I'm
already emotionally like, it'sstressful. So I. It's a high
stress situation where you haveto sort things out and deal with
different personalities andremember certain things, and

(55:06):
it's very difficult.

You're kissing multiple women on the same night
who are back to back to back,touching them, hugging them. You
know, feeling a little bit alittle tushy action on a couple
of these. I mean, it's hard todo. How do you actually focus
and get to know who you want tobe with when there's 25 people

(55:29):
that you're kissing?

I think that physical chemistry is a big
part. You know, I like I said, Ihad been single for a while, so
I was ready, you know, to reallyfind my person. And I feel like,
you know, you could tell a lotabout a person. You know, some
people are gonna say you'rekissing too many people. But
listen, I'm dating. I'm dating,and this is the way that I went
about it, a lot of kissing,though it's a lot, it is a lot
of kissing and to be public. Butyou know, if you don't have the

(55:52):
chemistry with somebody, it'sand you have to make a decision
such a short amount of time,that's one way to figure it out.
You know, okay, is therechemistry there? And then we
could build on a friendship andsee if it's there. There's

different kinds of kissers. Some you got the
chemistry. Some you you have thechemistry. I mean, we're not
going to get into who's who, butdid you ever kiss one of the
women? You're like, yuck. No, Iwas

never like yuck. I think that all the ladies were,
they were, they were reallyamazing, you know, I'll give
kisser. They're all they wereall good kissers. You know, they
were all good kissers. All. Weall had fresh breath. We all
were on point, you know,

taking the I was, yeah, I was the minutes
before, because the

night is long, the night is long and, you know,
you're drinking and I'm givingspeeches and I'm talking. So I
had, I had some, some minutes, Ihad some Tic Tacs on deck.

When I was single, I could tell if I was
sexually attracted to someone ina millisecond, right? Isn't that
the case for you? I mean, yougot all these women. I mean, I
could tell on the show youintroduced the woman, I saw it,
and I guessed where we weregoing to be, and I was like, 75%
right? Is grant gonna like thesegirls based on their physical

(56:59):
appearance? Didn't you know in amillisecond who you'd be
interested in? Yeah, it's

interesting, because the audience could tell
better than I could tell. Youknow, I was in this place where
I because I know that there'stwo ways in a relationship.
There's a spark and there's aslow burn. So it's like you
could think that you're not, youknow, you could be on a scale of
one to 10. You could beattracted to somebody, maybe,
like a six in the range of Not,not their attracting this, but
how, how much you're attractedto them. And then you could talk

(57:27):
to them, be like, This personmakes me laugh, or, Oh, like
this person has their own uniqueand then that attraction could
grow so, and then you could be areally attracted somebody off
the RIP. And then you find outthat there's not much depth
there, so, or there's not muchdepth in your relationship. So,
yeah, attraction is a spectrum.
And is this for me, all thewomen were beautiful, but
there's some that made me laughmore. There's some that, you

(57:48):
know, the chemistry was theremore, and there's some that the
kiss was there more. So it's allit's all up for the moment. One

of the most common questions about the show
is, at the end of the show,there's three finalists left.
You go into the Fantasy Suite.
You're spending a night withthese women. So one of the
questions is, are you having sexon multiple nights with all
three women?

Yeah, I try to, you know, I kiss a lot, but I handle
myself the way and fantasysuites the way that I would
want. But I had a daughter theway I want her to be treated. So
I didn't, you know, I'm notgoing to divulge anything, but I
handle myself with respect, andI treated the woman with
respect. So that's the mainthing

I can't imagine.
It must be mental torture.
You're one of three finalists onthe show. You know that grant is
going into the Fantasy Suite,and the worst things are going
through your mind, that grant ishaving sex with this woman and
that woman and that woman thatjust must be an absolute killer
for these women. Yeah,

I think so. I think that is definitely a deal
breaker in relationship, becausesex is something that is really
important, and if you know thatthe person with his experience
in that with other people, itcould, it could ruin the whole
relationship. So I definitelytried to keep that in mind, and
that was a focal point in how Iwas thinking. And you know, you

(59:08):
try to do this thing to make therelationship, if there is one,
to make it last after the show.
So

the show stopped filming in October, and the
final is going to be in March.
We're not going to tell peoplethe date. ABC is going to make
it big thing. Here's the finale.
So you got five months betweenthe winner. Whatever happens,
we're not gonna spoil thateither. What happens? But you're

(59:33):
either engaged, you're probablyengaged to the woman, the
winner. You got five months, butyou got to hide out. Are you
doing a little sneaky, sneakygoing through the window so you
guys can still see each otherduring these five months? Well,

if there is an engagement, there's a way that
ABC handles it, you know, theykeep a secret tunnels under the
Yeah, maybe, maybe some secrettunnels, maybe some things of
that nature. But they keep ushappy. If there is somebody, you
know, and I know, through, youknow. Talked to Joey, you know,
he told me the process. AndJoey, Joey Garza, graziade, the
last bachelor. So he told me,and I really learned through

(01:00:09):
that experience. So, you know,can't divulge if there is, there
is one, but I know there, justto tell you that, you know, I
learned through them. And thereis a process that we go through
when

Randall Kaplan (01:00:18):
we're thinking about relationships and what
makes them successful. Let'stalk about some of those things.
Do professions matter, and doyou want your wife to work full
time before and after you havekids and the same to you, if
your wife is a breadwinner, ifyour wife is the breadwinner and

(01:00:39):
you want to stay home with thekids, what? What are you
thinking? Yeah,

Grant Ellis (01:00:43):
so this is an area that I'm not that knowledgeable
on, because, you know, my wholelife I've been I've been like,
I'm gonna be the one. I'm gonnado this. I'm gonna do that,
because that's what I had to do.
So, but I do know, whatever mywife wants to do, she wants to
work full time she can. Shedoesn't. We're gonna be we're
gonna be fine either way. Sowhatever makes her happy, I

(01:01:05):
think that's the direction I'mgonna go. And yeah, but listen,
I haven't supported her familyyet. You know, I've been able to
help my mom, help my dad, helptake care of them, take care of
myself, but I know when you havekids, your lifestyle changes,
and you have to really plan forthat. So I'm not there, and I'm

(01:01:25):
not that knowledgeable in thatarea, but I would like to say
now that I think that I would beable to support and whatever my
wife wants to do. If she wantsto work full time, if she
doesn't, she's free to dowhatever she wants. When

I got married to my amazing wife, Madison, or
beneath the Hupa, which is whereJewish people get married. And
he said, the three, the two mostimportant words in a
relationship is, I'm sorry.

I think that you could correlate that to
sacrifice. I'm sorry, sacrifice.
They're synonymous. They'relike, basically, you know, in
order to, in order to, you know,say I'm sorry, even if you feel
like you're right, you gotta belike, You know what? Maybe I
mean, you know, for the sake ofthe relationship, maybe I'll,
you know, I'll apologize. Andsometimes you don't want to

(01:02:16):
sleep in the same room, yougotta, you know, you gotta, you
gotta, or you got, or you don'twant to talk, you gotta, you
gotta sacrifice. One of the

most important aspects of a relationship in a
marriage is being on the samepage with money. So I've seen it
lots of different ways. Youknow, the man comes with money,
or the women comes in withmoney. Sometimes the partners
will talk to one another, andhere's what I have, here's what
I have. You want to be on thesame page? Some don't it's
secret. What's your view onthat, dude? Are you and your

(01:02:44):
future wife going to say, Okay,we're gonna lay it out money
wise. Here's what we have so youcan plan for your future. Or do
you plan on saying, Hey, this ismine, this is yours. And what we
build together? We buildtogether?

Yeah, I think there's, you know, there's a
world where you have maybe ajoint account, and there's a
world where you have your ownfinances. You know, whatever
she's making from what shebrings in, she keeps that.
Whatever I'm making from what Ibring, I keep that. But then I
also could allocate, you know,maybe 10% a month, or 5% a month
we put into a joint account, andthat would be for maybe future

(01:03:17):
kids, or down payment on a houseor something like that. So, like
I said, Can't Lose yourself in arelationship. And I've seen
situations where women that Iknow, they you know, allow the
man to be the breadwinner, andthen he decides to get up and
leave, and then she doesn't haveanything, right? So she has to
always think, you know, putyourself first, even though you

(01:03:39):
know you have to put yourpartner. But in terms of
finance, you have to have yourown say. Safety Net. Never rely
on somebody else for

to take care of you. Million percent. Are you
good with money?

Listen, I am a trader. I'm not the best. I have
to learn money management interms of spending, you know, I
know how to make money, but 90%of the game is keeping it, you
know, and being able to, beingable to grow it. So I've made
some I've spent some money, butas I grow older, I think that my

(01:04:11):
really when I'll be reallyfrugal and plan is when I'm
planning to have a family, andI'm planning to now that I'm
stepping into having to, youknow, everything in my life I've
done up until this point for mymom and dad and myself, really,
you know, I've never had toprovide for kids or provide for
a wife. You know, my lastrelationship, I provided, but it
was like now that I'm steppinginto this area of my life,

(01:04:34):
that's an area that I'm reallygonna work on is planning more
in terms of spending, there

are 50 to 100 Ferraris sold in Houston every
year. You have a Ferrari f8spider, where the retail price
of that car is $324,738 thatresponsible? No, it's not
responsible.

It's not responsible. That's what I said.
I'm not the i. I, you know,coming from, where I where I
come from, and some of thethings I've been through, it's
like, as a young black man, whenyou get some money, you want to
be like, I made it, you know.
And I think that I learned fromthat, and I think that that's
why I don't wear chains likethat. I don't wear really

(01:05:18):
expensive pieces. I normallyjust dress really modest, you
know, I might have some flykicks like you, or have some
nice purchases, but, yeah, it'snot the best purchase, but, you
know, it's something that Iwanted and something that comes
from hard work. And I think thatI'm happy. I'm happy, you know?
So

when I got divorce many years ago, you
know, I have three young kids,six, six and four. We had a
minivan. It was black, ToyotaSienna. It was scratched and
dented. But that was my dailycar, not the coolest car in the
world. So I bought myself a fourdoor Maserati quatra port, which
was awesome. That became mydaily car when I wasn't with the

(01:05:58):
kids. And a lot of Yip Yap inthe community saying that the
nice car was trying tocompensate for something I
lacked, physically. People,

people are gonna talk man. People, that's one
thing I'll learn. And it doesn'tmatter. We're

not gonna can we name what that is on the show?
Can Can we call it what it is?
What do you mean? They call it asmall penis car? Oh, yeah,
trying to compensate, compensatefor your lack of endowment,
right,

right, right? I mean, that's not, I don't, I
don't have any issues in thatarea. But I what I will say that
people, people are always goingto talk. You know, people are
going to talk. You know, whetheryou're doing great or you're
doing bad, they're going to saysomething. So, you know, I'm
sure that, I'm sure that, youknow, you're not trying to
compensate. You know, neither amI. When

you walk around Beverly Hills and you're walking
down Rodeo Drive, you got theseguys revving the engines and
their Lamborghinis and theirFerraris in Houston, there's
Westheimer road and the Galleriaare the kind of the two main
drags There you go on in there,and you're revving the engine as
you're driving by

No Honestly, I listen, my car that I drive
every day is an Acura, drivingAcura, you know, 2019 TLX. Don't
rev my engine. And when I seethat, I don't judge, you know, I
don't, I don't, I don't really,you know, I made a purchase
because it's a dream of mine.
And my dad was an exotic cardealer, like, I had pictures
with my dad where he's withEddie Murphy, and we're inside

(01:07:20):
the shop, and he's, you know,selling a car. So I'm like, I
just like cars, you know, I I'mnot a huge car guy, but it's
just something that I grew uparound it. So I'm not somebody
who's gonna be revenue engine.
If somebody wants to race me,they could race themselves.

When I grew up, I didn't have a lot of money.
And I go to the Porschedealership every year, I sit in
a Porsche 911 company goespublic. I can afford the car.
And I waited some time too,because, oh shit, like $107,000
for this Porsche. That's that'sa lot of dough. And so couple

(01:07:56):
things I remember. I got thecar, and first day, I took it
home, and I washed the car, andI dropped this big bucket. I
thought, okay, it's great. Andthe bucket was round, and it has
still this little round den onthe back of the car. And I
didn't rev it, but I had a I hada photo shoot. Someone was
writing a piece on me about thiskid in Detroit who paid it big.

(01:08:19):
And I remember I had the topdown, and then the studio was in
the worst neighborhood possible.
Oh, pumped in. I'm drivingthrough it, and I can't figure
out how to put the top up, andall these guys are looking
around. Oh man. And I gotta goinside. You know, if tiger said,
Do not be late, Do not be late.
And so I had to leave the caroutside with the top down, and I
just didn't feel say, it's like,stop sign after stop sign, like,

(01:08:42):
oh shit, is my car gonna comeout and still be there? I've
been in

some situations like that, and it's definitely
tough when you're going througha rough neighborhood, and you
know what they call that runfrom it's like you're an easy
lick, like they look at you,like the like they could get
you, you know. So you gotta be,gotta be prepared. You know,

the average length of a relationship that
someone lives together beforethey get married is 2.8 years
thoughts on how long you'regonna live with your fiance
before you

get married. That's not the average length of the
relationship that's livingtogether, that's living
together, yeah, I think that's,that's

sorry, right on, sorry. That's the average length
of dating before they becomeengaged, before that.

Okay? Uh, yeah, I think that. Listen, I'm not Dr
Phil, but I think that that'sgood. That's a good that's a
good time frame. You know, somepeople move faster than others.
Some people move slower. Youknow, it's just about how you
feel and where you're at in yourlife. If you're like in your mid
20s, 2524 you might take alittle long. But if you're third
in your 30s, you know, you mightif you find a person and things,

(01:09:39):
you know, just depends on whereyou're

at. I was single for seven and a half years. I
had a relationship for two ofthose years, so I had five
years. It was craziness, youknow, you're in LA and I was
working a lot, running threedifferent companies, and very
focused on my kids as well. Youknow, I'm divorced. Home for
dinner every night, pick them upfrom school when I had them
5050, cut. See. And it was, itwas nutty. And I met my wife,

(01:10:02):
Madison in New York, and we gotengaged three months later, and
here we are, 11 and a half yearslater, she ended up living,
moving from New York and livingwith us for about one and a half
years. And I just think it's agreat, great thing to do. You
have to know your partner bigtime. 20% of engagements don't
result in marriage, and half themarriages in the United States

(01:10:25):
fail. The divorce rates, 50%crazy numbers, yeah. Does that
scare you?

Never, really, never really looked into it with
like, a pessimistic mindset. Youknow, I'm usually pretty
optimistic on things, and I'mnot going to go into it
thinking, you know this, I'm 50%fail, you know, I'm just going
to do my best, and if it doesn'twork out, then it just wasn't
meant to be. So, yeah, that'spretty much, that's, that's all

(01:10:55):
I got on that. You know, I'm notscared, but I like again, I
said, I think that having asolid foundation, aligning on
core values, you know, keepingthings spicy, keeping things
fun, I think that you know, overthe long run it could, it could
be beneficial. So

you look at the success of The Bachelor on a
long term relationship basisover 28 season. Here are the
stats, 22 engagements, severalmarriages, and only two remain
married, right? You know thatgoing into the show? Uh,

I didn't, I didn't know that going on show. I know,
but looking, look at the statsof how marriage is in America
today, so I think it's, I thinkit's a, if you ask me, I think
it's a core value issue. Youknow, people, people grow apart,
which I understand. People growat different paces, develop

(01:11:48):
different interests, differenthobbies, viewpoints might
change, but you know, commitmentis is past love. So if it's
something that you know, I knowon my end, looking at marriage,
I definitely want committed, andI think it's rooted in my faith,
and I think that, like, I'm avery committed person. So

(01:12:08):
hopefully, you know, if thingsgo that route, or whatever
happens at the end of all this,if it is marriage, if it isn't
marriage, whatever it is, Ithink I'm gonna stay committed
to my purpose.

Do you ever get any pressure from the producers
on the show and say, Grant man,This better work out, because
it's not gonna look good whenthe show ends if you don't get
engaged. No,

no. Because, like I said, regardless, you can go on
there and be Shakespeare.
Somebody's gonna tell you thatyou're not saying the right
things. You can go on there anddo everything right. It's always
gonna be opinions, and that'swhat just happens when you're in
the spotlight. So whether itdoesn't work out, whether it
does work out, you just gotta beyourself 60. Yourself. Sit to
your heart, sit to your gut. Begood person and let the chips
fall where they fall.

Aren't all 25 women on their best behavior
when they're sitting in therehaving time with you. Um,
listen,

they they may be with you, but you could judge
somebody's character by how theyinteract with other people.

So you watch them interact with other people,
because when all the cattinessis going on, you're not

in the room, Yeah, but you're could be on Date
group dates. You know, there'stimes when you get to assess the
situation and be and bevigilant, you know, and just
check out like what's going on.
But I'm not going to say, youknow, best behavior is there.
They all want to find a partner,and they're there for you. So
when they're with you, they'regonna try to connect. But you,
you know, if somebody is notgetting along with this person,

(01:13:24):
you can start to see, okay, why?
And then you see interactions.
And then you just kind of assessthere, you know, do you

know what's going on behind the scenes on
the show, the backstabbing andall the Riff Raff going on? You

don't know. You don't know what's going on. You
kind of have to, you're in,you're in a little dark spot.
You're in a little blind spot,and you have to, you have to
take context clues.

There is competition for the show. All
the women want to be the one,and just like in the real world,
people are going to basically,sometimes shit on someone else
to try to make themself lookbetter. And you were on a solo
date, and one of the women said,Okay, someone told you that you
were really into her, I forgetthe exact words, and she was all

(01:14:07):
very uncomfortable about that.
And then you confronted Rose,who had said it, and she's just
crying all over the place,busted, but yet you still gave
her rose to move on to the nextshow.

Yeah, that was something that, you know,
because my word is something Itry to really stand on, and
that's my character, you know,I'm not gonna say, first of all,
I think that was probably thethat's a bad move personally,
and just all around to say that.
So I like, that's something Iwouldn't do. But I also, I
accepted her apology, and we hada connection. So even though
that dampered it a little bit. Iwanted to see if, you know, give

(01:14:41):
that person a second chance. SoI think that's why I did that.
But

isn't that someone's true character? I
mean, that just is not smartyou're on the show, you're
taking a massive risk, and howdo you know that isn't.
Someone's character in general?
Yeah,

definitely. It definitely makes you, especially
when you're first meetingsomeone, it definitely makes you
question, and then to you wantto allow a little more time for
things to unfold, for things tounfold, to see, was that really
said? Was that really, you know,did care? Did somebody say
something different. Was there amix up? So, you know, thinking

(01:15:25):
logically, you know, maybe yousend that person home the same
night. But also, you know, youhave to hear let the story
unfold a little more. When I

was dating Madison, we went to Greece after
one month, and at this point,I've been single for a long time
and just wasn't ready to messaround anymore. I want to get
married. I want to have morekids. And she was living in New
York, and so there was a womanin LA who was interested in me,
and I was interested in her, andI asked my buddy, John turzin,

(01:15:57):
who's going to be on my showtomorrow, by the way, amazing
guy, age would group shout outto John. I said, you know, do
you know Madison? And he said,No, but I think I have a friend
that did. And so I talked tothis girl, and she was
interested in dating me. Sheshit all over Madison, and gave
me all kinds of stuff aboutthese trips she's taken to

(01:16:18):
Vegas, et cetera, et cetera. Andso I had a little bit of a
damper on it. I mean, I assessedthe situation, you know, she's
saying it because you want todate me or whatever. But on the
trip to Greece, I mean, wetalked about a lot of things,
you know, kids, religion,values, I said, By the way, I
said, you know, who's I heardthis from somebody, and she

(01:16:40):
said, Who? And I no problemtelling her, by the way, because
there's no need to beat aroundthe bush, you know, I'm gonna
tell her who the source is. Andsaid, I met that girl once she
was in Vegas. She isn't verywell liked, and that's the case.
I mean, she finally got married,but was single for a very, very
long period of time. I think atsome point you can't change your
stripes.

Yeah? And then if somebody does something that
doesn't align with yourcharacter, like, if that's not
something you would do, andsomebody's doing, it probably
not gonna work out, you know? Sothat's a good way to tell, yeah,
no one's perfect. Nobody'sperfect. Everyone makes
mistakes. Everybody makesmistakes. As a fact, you have a
bucket

list. And one a bucket list is you want to
travel to as many countries aspossible, right? What are the
top five things on your bucketlist? In addition to that,
travel plan, start

a hedge fund, have a family. In addition to
traveling, try all differentfood groups. I think that's
something.

What's one food group that you haven't tried?
I've had

a little bit of Indian food, but just the basic
butter, chicken, garlic naan. Iwant to try different foods in
that category, spicy, spicy. Ilike spicy. I like spicy food. I
like spicy food. Yeah, thosewould be, like my top three
things, probably, all

right, we're at the end of the show. And I
always finish a show with a gameI call. Fill in the blank to
excellence. Are you ready toplay? I'm ready. The biggest
lesson I've learned in my lifeis biggest

lesson I've learned in my life is to forgive. My
number one professional goal ismy. Number one professional goal
is to start a hedge fund. Mynumber one personal goal is my.
Number one personal goal is tolearn how to love better. My
biggest regret is my biggestregret. I don't I don't have
regrets. I just I don't haveregrets. My biggest fear is. My

(01:18:28):
biggest fear is not living up tomy potential.

The biggest mistake I've made in my life is

biggest mistake I made in my life up until this
point, was probably where Icommitted to college, honestly,
probably

where I committed to college. Why do you
consider that a mistake? Because

I had a lot of I had a lot of offers, and I
rushed it. I was young, didn'thave the right guidance. And
looking back at it as a 31 yearold man, I would have took my
time and assessed the situationand made the break the right

decision. Is education critical to our future
success? I think education is

very critical. I think the traditional route of
education is changing, but Ithink furthering your knowledge
is critical. You have to learnyou have to learn new things.
You have to always pushyourself, but you don't. This is
maybe a controversial take.
School is important, but withthe use of the Internet and
today, you can learn how to bean entrepreneur, how to be a
businessman, and how to handleyourself through different

(01:19:21):
people that are online. Youknow,

the biggest challenge I faced in my life is
biggest challenge I

faced in my life was learning how to forgive,
learning how to forgive and dealwith inner, inner struggles that
I

had. The most prideful moment in my life has
been most prideful

moment in my life was an argument I had with my
father, and I said some reallymean things, because I was hurt,
and I forgot that he's the onethat gave birth to me, you know,
so that I had some pride there,the craziest thing that's ever
happened to me is. Craziestthing ever had to me was
becoming the bachelor. Thefunniest thing that's ever

(01:20:03):
happened to me is funniest thinghas ever happened to me. I was I
was like, eight. I was eightyears old. I was playing hide
and go seek, and I got foundout, and the person scared me,
and I got scared, and snot cameout of my nose in front of
everybody. It was just like, itwas bad. It was bad. The

best advice I've ever received is to go with your
heart. The worst advice I'veever received is don't get into
day training. 10 years from now,I'm going to be

doing, hopefully I'm with, you know, I have a
family, building a life, andjust enjoy enjoying my life. 20
years from now, I'm going to bedoing, probably getting a knee
replacement surgery.

The best advice I have for the next Bachelor is
best

advice I have is be yourself. Be yourself, and,
yeah, just always be yourself.

If you could pick one trait that would lead
to somebody's success, it isperseverance. The one thing I've
dreamt about doing for a longtime but haven't is one thing
I've dreamt about doing

for a long time but haven't is travel to every
country there is. If

you could go back and give your 21 year old
self one piece of advice, whatwould it be? Get into trading
earlier 100% if you could be oneperson in the world, who would
it be? LeBron James, if you werePresident Trump, what's the next
thing you would do in officetomorrow?

Man, listen, I am not a student politics. You
know, I have no comment on that.
No comment. Controversial,controversial. I listen. I'm
very, I'm like, very immediatetraining. Okay? I would invest
money into people that work inunions, you know, the middle
class. I think it's the backboneof our society and really make

(01:21:39):
sure they're taken care

of. You mentioned media training. How
much media training do you havefor the show? There are some

media training, but there's some, you know, they
prep you on certain things aregonna happen. But ultimately,
when you're on the sea, it's upto you to say whatever you're
gonna say. So when I say mediatraining, I just, I've been an
athlete my whole life, so I'vehad to do presses and yeah, so
just that's part of what I mean,you're pro union. Yeah, a lot of
my friends work in the union,you know? I think that they work
hard. I think that they workreally hard. I'm not gonna say

(01:22:09):
I'm pro Union, but, you know,guy, I think that we need, you
know, we need that. It's very

important. The unions have an important place
in society today, 20 100 yearsago, 90 years ago, I think there
was a great purpose for a union,but a lot of people today say
not necessary at all.

I think that a union is very important. You
have to have somebody that'slooking out for the person
that's working hard, somebodythat has their back. I think
that this may be off talkingabout a very important part of
leadership is leading fromleading from behind, you know,
pushing people forward that arethat need it. You know, people
in the Union definitely, youknow, they had that having that

(01:22:50):
support is big.

The one question you wish I had asked you but
didn't, is, how long does ittake you to know

that somebody is your person?

I think the love of my life is Madison, and I
realized after spending so thisis a crazy story. I'll tell you
the story, I was on a date withanother woman. We're going to
Brentwood. She drove to my housefirst. I wasn't digging the
whole feel. I could tell shewanted to get romantic, even
before we went to dinner. I wasjust not comfortable. You know,

(01:23:19):
I think as a as a man or awoman, I think a lot of people
love sex. It's the mostenjoyable activity in the world
for most people. So a lot ofpeople would be like, okay,
whatever. Let's, you know, let'sgo. And I just wasn't feeling
it, and I didn't like the dinnerconversation, so when she got up
to go to the bathroom, I hadbeen invited the day before, to

(01:23:40):
a place called the Soho House.
It's a cool club kind of thing,and I'd never been there before.
There's a group of cool guys.
And I said, No, I can't do it.
Got this day as much I want togo, not going to cancel the
date. I just there's a womanthat I'd want to take out. She
goes to the bathroom. I wasn'tdigging it. I text my friends,
Hey, can I come? You know, alittle bit. So a woman comes
back to the table and I getmigraines. So I said, I got this

(01:24:01):
terrible headache. I got to gohome, right? Like, oh, you know,
we'll drive home. I was drivingher car was at my house, and she
said, Okay, I'll take care ofyou. We got to the house like,
No, you know, got a migraine.
Can't have a photon of light inthe in the house. And I go,
Well, let me put your bed. Like,no, no, no, no. She said, You
shining me on I said, No, Ireally don't feel well. So she

(01:24:22):
left. I waited 15 minutesbecause I was nervous. She
hadn't cleared out of theneighborhood. I felt like she
was not really believe me. So Igo to Soho House, and I'm there,
and I'm sitting next to thiswoman, I'm not going to mention
her name, and it was cool. Shewas cool. She was pretty and for
whatever reason, she startedshowing me photos of her, and

(01:24:44):
there's full frontal nudity. I'mlike, Holy shit, this one's
gorgeous and like, and she's gota great personality, whatever,
we became friends, and she movedto Los Angeles. She was here
kind of part time, and then Iwas taking her out on a date,
and I. Madison, my wife, wasliving in New York. She was
modeling. She had four jobs whenI met her, and then we went to

(01:25:06):
katsu, right down the street,and she crashed a day at the
last minute, they came back tomy house and played the drums in
the Wii in my bedroom. Okay,till two in the morning, the Wii
was like, in a room, and thenI'm playing the drums, and
they're sitting on the bed, andthey're playing the drum like,
Oh, I got these two gorgeouswomen in the bedroom. Nothing
happened. And then we kept intouch, and not really in touch,

(01:25:29):
but we were Facebook friends. Igot her number, and she posts on
Facebook going to Hawaii with myboyfriend. Can't wait for two
weeks. And I texted her, is thisthe engagement trip? And she
wrote back hardly. And I wroteback, oh, you're incredible. You
don't have to settle and Itexted her four days later, I
been to the resort a bunch oftimes. I said, Hey, how's the
trip coin? I said, we broke up.
So I said, Oh, I love to comeNew York and take you to dinner.

(01:25:52):
And said, No, I live with myboy. Got to get my own place, so
I basically lied. I'm coming tothe freeze Art Fair this weekend
because she said, I'll be inCalifornia. She's from Fresno.
My sister is getting married.
Maybe I can get together thissummer. It's like, you got to

(01:26:13):
strike when that iron is hot.
It's like, man, one second youmiss it. One day you're done.
Yeah. So I said, I'm coming toNew York. We went to dinner
twice, and I said to her, it wasgreat. I mean, I'd been single
for a long time. I dated all thewrong women. I knew what I
wanted, and I thought she wasthe perfect partner for me. And
when we left, when I left aftertwo nights in New York, I said,

(01:26:35):
I know you're just getting outof something. And I just think
there's something here, and I'mgonna go back to lay and I'm not
gonna date anybody, but you cando what you want. It. Of course,
that was fucking bullshit. Ididn't wanna do anything, right?
And so we ended up seeing eachother once we took the trip to
Greece, and at that point Iknew. So I think when you know

(01:26:58):
you know, right?

When you know, you know, and I think, yeah, for me,
I know, like, because there's somany beautiful women out there,
but it's hard to find characterthat aligns with yours. So when
I see traits in that where I'mlike, okay, not only am I
attracted to you, but yourcharacter stands out. Yeah,
that's what I know. And listenmy life, I've been through some

(01:27:21):
struggles. So when somebody hasmy back, and I know they're
like, a rider, they're there forme, I'm like, Okay, I'll give
I'll give you everything. Youknow what I'm saying at that
point. So you know, say, Well,not everything. I'm still got my
own, but you know what I'msaying, like, I will sacrifice
for you if I know that you havemy back, if you if you're not
after me for you know, obviouslyyou're going to be attracted and

(01:27:42):
obviously there's, you know,what I can offer and provide.
There's a mutual benefitrelationship, but if you love me
for who I am on the inside. Sothat's, that's when I start to
fall my

wife is drop that gorgeous. And when she
walks in the room, people lookand they turn their heads. When
people tell me, your wife is sobeautiful, I tell them, she's a
lot more beautiful on the insidethan the outside, and that at
the end of the day is way moreimportant, because at the end of
the day, it looks fade, and it'sreally what's inside that
matters. She also went tobusiness school, graduated

(01:28:15):
college in three years, and shelost football. So the football
guy, like I got the TV onSunday, there's no there's no
complaining that is watchingfootball. The calendar comes
out. The Michigan Wolverinesgoes into the calendar. The
Detroit Lions going to thecalendar. She knows that's my
time, and she'll watch, youknow, when she can. That's

so important. And you know, like my night one
speech was, it was called thestrength of a woman. Women have
so much to offer. They when youfind the right when you find the
right person, the right personto match you, it's like it's
better than any amount of moneythat you could have. Obviously,

(01:28:55):
you need money, you know whatI'm saying, but it is like
striking gold. You find somebodythat understands you that
compliments you, you know.
Because a lot of times as men,we think, you know, we're very
calculated and we're very, youknow. And women come around by
light like, you know, to have adrink, lighten up. Let's have
some fun. Let's do somethingthat takes your mind off of
things and they and then theyhold you up when you're down.

(01:29:16):
And sometimes we don't thinkabout things that they think
about. So it's like a perfectunion in the middle when you
find the right person. The rightperson and build you up. So
that's, that's, yeah, I am. I'mjust excited. I'm excited for
how things play

out. I'm so fortunate that I got to meet
some of the most successfulbusiness people in the world,
and I've interviewed two coachesin the last two months who have
coached hundreds of 1000s of menover the last 10 or 15 years,
and they've said to me, one ofthe most important traits of a
man's success is finding theright partner to support them,

(01:29:50):
be with them, share with themand grow together. And I agree
with them, 1,000,000% I'm withyou on that. Any other questions
that you want to ask me beforewe finish this? Day. Man, I'm
just,

I just want to give you your flowers. Man, I really
enjoyed the interview. You'resuch an intellectual person. You
know, you're calculated, you'resmart, and I could tell that you
care. So that's something thatyou know. Before I leave here.
Just want to give you yourflowers. And I really enjoyed
the interview. I enjoyed gettinginto finance, trading, talking
about love. It was a wellrounded conversation. Well,

I think you're an awesome guy. I'm excited for
your future. Excited to watchthe show again, ABC, eight
o'clock Eastern time, eighto'clock Pacific time. If you
missed the show live, it's onHulu the next day. Yes, sir, one
day later. So again,congratulations on all your
success. I'm excited for yourfuture. Thank you, Matt. I
appreciate it. Thank you. Ienjoyed it. Go, me too, you.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Grant Ellis: What The Bachelor Taught Me About Life, Love, and Success | E155