June 10, 2025 • 18 mins
“When 40 Changed Everything” is a personal reflection on the moment I realized my health had to take center stage. In this powerful episode, I share how a routine doctor’s visit in my early 40s — and the words of a culturally aware physician — opened my eyes to the importance of proactive care, especially for men of color. As friends around me started facing life-altering health events, we unknowingly created a brotherhood rooted in shared experience and accountability. This isn’t about fear. It’s about responsibility, community, and choosing to live better — together. If you’re entering your 40s, already there, or supporting someone who is, this conversation is for you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
And in the good evening, everyone in the Tony read
Tony Reeves. When we read Tony reds fire, following the
news and right shape or or no sortage of things
to talk about.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
What will this is reality. We simply have to.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Let me read, let me read.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Let the Godhead and kids started.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hey run, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another edition of
Then the No.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I am Tony Reeves.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Thank you for taking the opportunity to join me today.
Let's go ahead and get rocking today. I want to
talk to you about what happens from a health standpoint
when you hit a certain age. No, I'm not talking
about when you're a seventies and your eighties. I'm talking
about when you hit your forties. And so it's important
to understand that when we go through our lives and
we're just kind of enjoying and living our best life,
(00:59):
sometimes our health tends to take a back seat unless
something happens. And I will tell you that when you
hit forty, your health takes on a greater level of significance.
So for all my listeners, especially those who are in
your thirties, forties and fifties, I wanted to make sure
I took the opportunity to share with you this particular
episode because I'm gonna tell you this episode is for you,
(01:23):
all right, So let's kind of set the stage accordingly
so that you can kind of understand where I'm at.
So here, I am forty something years of age, like
for around forty one or something like that. I go
to my regular routine doctor. I'm trying to do the
right thing. I've got a doctor that I'm going to.
I'm a black man, person of color, so my provider,
I'd like to stay consistent because I've been recommended by
(01:44):
providers to have somebody who's a person of color. So
my uh doctor's Puerto Rican. He's an older gentleman and
i'd seen him fairly annual. If my annual business, no, biggie,
I'm thinking, I'm just gonna roll in there. He's gonna
check my blood pressure, he's gonna look at my labs,
and we're gonna keep it moving. And then he surprised me.
Then he turns to me and he says to me, Okay,
(02:06):
let's go ahead and do this prostate exam.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I'm like, wait, whoaoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are
you talking about doctor.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Now, for those of you who have never had one
of these, you've probably heard it.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Google it.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's it's a procedure where really the doctor takes his
indeck's finger, puts it in your behind, and he's basically
seeing if your your prostate is enlarge. I need somebody
to figure out a better way to do this. Yes
you can do blood work, Yes you can get a biopsy,
but there's just gotta be a better way.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
If you're a guy and you've either had it or
you're aware of it, you're not looking forward to a
prostate example, I have that exam. That's just not something
that you put on your bucket list. Now for me,
you know, I'm thinking I know a little bit, and
I have read a book or two. I'm thinking, hey,
I know that typically regular prostate exams are recommend it
(02:58):
if you are well, wait a minute, I'm like early
forties forty one here, man, I'm still you know, young
and young, fresh and clean. What is happening here? What
are we talking about? Why am I getting a prostate exam?
And he saw the look on my face because I
was like, why am I getting a prostate exam? And
so he was like, well, you know, from a preventative measure.
(03:20):
You know, of course he's trying to talk to me
and tell me, oh, from a preventive measure. I ain't
trying to hear that because I don't want to know
prostate exam. Yes, I'm being petty, y'all, Yes I am.
I'm a peace with it. So I turned to him,
and of course, being learned, and I'm like, why do
we do this where we think the man who literally
had been practicing for twenty something years and went to
(03:40):
medical school would not know. Of course he's gonna know
more than me. But you know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna drop some stats like I know something. So
I turned to him and I say, very quietly, but
what's a conviction?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Doctor?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
My understanding is that prostate exams are not recommended, or
are excuse me, are recommended for men who are fifty
years of age. I'm not fifty. Thinking that I just
knew what I was talking about, he turns to me
and says, very politely, that's true. But what you don't
know is that Hispanic men, Latino men, black men have
(04:16):
a higher propensity of prostate cancer, and as such, the
medical journals recommend for white men and other ethnic groups
fifty and above, but for black men, Latino and hispanics
forty five. Oh okay, And the little piece of backstory
I didn't tell you about my dad's oldest brother had
(04:40):
prostate cancer. So he said, oh so, and you got
a family history. So not only have we jumping from
fifty to forty five, we're jumping from from forty five
top forty.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I'm like dying. Heck that Jib was saying what.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Needless to say, I got the prostatic sam and so
nothing was wrong, nothing was wrong or anything. But I
will tell you listening to him effectively tell me, you know,
it's one thing you have the past history, but just
listening to him, tell me about those milestones, about how.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yes, at fifty that may be the.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Case, but forty five, globally the demographic you're encouraged to
get it sooner. And if there's a family history, which
I had, they encourage you to do it just evens
sooner than that. And so the thing that I found
fascinating from that conversation was I started looking at help
a little differently. I started realizing that I was no
(05:31):
longer at that I'll go to a doctor moment. Now,
mind you, everybody always says that you should go to
a doctor as much as you possibly can, just to
prevent anything from happening. But I can tell you, when
you're in your twenties and thirties, going to a doctor
is the furthest thing from your mind. Everything in your
mind is working perfectly, So what the heck do you
need to go to a doctor for. But it was
(05:52):
fascinating to listen to him give me these milestone breakdowns
because what it told me was that I was now
transitioning into this next level of care of where it
was incumbent upon me to be more proactive about ensuring
that I don't have any problems that may require more
(06:13):
significant treatment.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
And I'm going to tell you it hit me a.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Particular way because at this stickular point, once I heard
him communicating what he said, the light came on to
me that now I was at a point where I
was heading into that groove where my age triggered certain milestones. Now,
I don't get me wrong, he was aware that I
(06:40):
had a history of prostly cancer my family. I had
been going to him, you know, in my thirties so
it wasn't a problem. But what was interesting is that once.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I hit forty, how he viewed.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Me and how he viewed my treatment and how he
viewed how I needed to be my aimful of it shifted.
And so at that particular point, I started to realize
that my age was automatically going to trigger certain things
and I needed to be mindful with that about that.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
But then here's the thing that I found was interesting.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Having the conversation with him made me realize my mortality
in a lot of ways. It wasn't like he was
trying to scare me into doing what I was supposed
to do. He was letting me know that as your
body ages, as you go through time, there are certain
things that there is a decent likelihood certain things may
(07:41):
happen to you medically, and so it was important that
i'd be proactive in getting in front of those things.
And he stressed to me that most things that you find,
if you find it early, dealing with it is a
lot easier. The biggest trouble most people have is that
they don't deal with it at all until it gets
to the point where their body. He basically makes them
deal with it, and the thing that became even more
(08:04):
unique was that when I listened to that perspective, I
realized really quickly that I wasn't psychologically ready for this turn.
I mean, no one tells you in your twenties and
thirties that you know when you get to your forties,
this is going to happen when you're fifties or sixty
or anything like that, mainly because in your mind, you're
not worried about those things. Again, I say, you're living
(08:25):
your best life, you out here ballin', and so you're
not thinking about the fact that you need to have,
you know, mammograms or prostate exams or any of those things.
Those things just don't necessarily resonate with you. And I
realized from listening to him that it needed to, that
I needed to reevaluate and change my mindset about how
(08:49):
I was going to deal with ensuring that my health
became an equal priority to me hanging out, vacation, partying, working,
whatever the case may be. And so then all of
a sudden, all of the things, all of these milestones,
took on a greater degree of importance. They became more
(09:09):
relevant to me because it made me realize that with
each milestone that I hit, I had to be cognizant
of what that milestone meant for me from a health standpoint.
But you know, the other thing that I realized really quickly,
I wasn't alone. And you're like, what do you mean
by you wasn't alone. Well, once I became once the
(09:32):
doctor kind of opened my eyes to the reality of
my health, I became intensely aware of the health of
my friends. And it's not like I was going around
to them going, hey, you go to doctor, Hey, you
go to doctor. Know. What was happening was that I
was heading into this window where I started to notice
(09:53):
that I had friends who were experiencing health issues of
their own during this particular time. And it didn't all
happen when I turned forty. But what I found was
there was a window of time where I had a
number of my friends having their own health crisis. They
I mean, there was literally a window where I had
at least three or four friends who had strokes, a
(10:15):
couple of friends had heart attacks, and a friend of
mine had aaric aneurism. I had a couple of friends
of mine with breast cancer. And it wasn't like we
were overwhelmed, But it was coming with such a degree
of frequency, and it was not like they were all
at one location and they all had this happen. They
were all people who were in different parts of the country.
But the only thing we had in common we were
all in the same age group, and almost every one
(10:38):
of them had a life altering event like this from
a health standpoint, and then their viewpoint in terms of
how they viewed and value their health changed. But there's
the other thing that was even more profound. We talked
about these things. I mean, it wasn't like you're in
the hospital, Okay, what was me? That's not what I mean.
I mean, once they got out of the hospital, once
(11:01):
they had their health scare, whatever the case may be,
they started having the conversations.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
And what I.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Found was almost all of my friends were very proactive
about encouraging others to not be in what they just
went through. And that's not trying to be funny. It's
just that you all of a sudden, you know, when
you have a friend who has a heart attack who
turns to you and says, hey, have you talked to
a cardiologist? I just want to make sure that you're good.
(11:28):
All of a sudden, you start realizing, well, maybe I
should go talk to someone. It was one of these
things where we all found that we needed to keep
each other accountable without expressly saying it. We didn't say
you better go to the doctor. I'm a kicker, but
it was more of a I went through this, and
I love you enough to say I don't want you
to go through it because you shouldn't want to go
through this either. And not only do they do that,
(11:51):
but you're also pivoting and we're watching everyone else do things.
And so what ends up happening is, you know, when
I talked to my friend and he talks about, yeah,
I go to see a cardiologist twice a year just
to give me a clean bill of health after my
own anurism, or I have one, you know, I have
an on collegist I go see annually and so forth.
You start realizing the importance of specialists. Then all of
(12:13):
a sudden, I, you know, as a result of this,
I'm thinking about my high blood pressure, so I go
to a nephrologist. I'm thinking about, you know, my prostates,
so I'm going to a urologists. I'm thinking about my
heart because I have a family history of heart disease,
I go to a cardiologist. All of a sudden, these
things take on a greater degree of significance because it's
(12:33):
one thing when you see your parents and your grandparents
and they have these health issues, and you're thinking the
esf all. You've convinced yourself psychologically that this is due
to age. You convince yourself that since they're much older
than you, of course this is gonna happen. But it's
not gonna happen to you. Until you find yourself in
a situation where a lot of people in your personal
circle are going through these health issues, and you stop
(12:54):
and you look and.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
You say, wait a minute, I am in that category.
So you got a choice.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
You can either sit back and wait for it to
happen to you, or you can proactively follow the leads
of your your friends and your families who have gone
through this in your circle, who are trying to encourage
you not to wait on this. And that's literally what
I found that I had to do. And this is
literally where I was at. So all of a sudden,
(13:20):
now I've gone from the mentality of denial where you
basically act like, oh, this is not gonna happen to me.
This can't to discipline. So all of a sudden, you
start getting into this situation where you start realizing, Hey,
I need to be focused on taking my medication. I
need to start no disrespect. Gosh, I love me some
(13:43):
fast food, but fast.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Food don't love me.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Some particular point, you hit that time when you realize
your blood work is your best friend. You start realizing, Wow,
why is my glue cooase level so high? Why is
my bloodshed?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
You know? Why is my you know, potassium level so high?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
You know, you're starting to look at those things, and
you're starting to realize that you can control, or at
least influence greatly what may happen to you next. And
you become proactive about doing what you can to make
sure nothing happens to you. And you know what ends
up happening, slowly but surely, a brotherhood or a sisterhood
(14:18):
of health is created.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
It just kind of happens organically.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And the reason why I say it happens organically is
because what ends up happening is in the course of
you talking. It's one thing when you used to have
those regular conversations and you shooting the breeze by, Hey,
what's going on? I'm AMA's happening and you're asking, you know,
in the early years in your twenties about you know,
how's your job? When we hit the club? We going
to hit the party. That's one thing. Then you hit
this groove where people start getting married, they start getting divorced,
(14:46):
they start having kids, and that starts to be a
part of it. But now you're segueing into this thing
where we're now asking questions how are you doing? And
when we mean by that, we mean how are you
doing because I know you are hospital? How are you
doing because I know you had cancer? How were you doing?
Because I know you had a stroke, And we're listening
(15:07):
and we're not trying to get in your business. We
just want to know what you're doing. And a lot
of times we invariably create this this in a working
in a personal relationship where we are listening to you
to educate us as to what we need to do,
and we do it float both ways. So I can't front.
(15:28):
I get motivated when I'm on the phone and my
friends and started telling me, I was, hey, what's going on? Hey,
I'm heading to jim Let me hit you up and
I get out. Guess what, nine times out of ten,
I'm going to the gym, or somebody calls me early
in the morning they're like, I know, you go to
the gym in the morning, You're on your way and
you're on your way out.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I'm on my way out.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
And those things influence you, and the next thing you know,
you share that bond with each other. You're not bonding
because oh Will, You're bonding because you both recognize that
life is so short. You're not gonna get any more
time back. So you need to be doing everything possible
to be proactive about ensuring that you can maximize and
(16:05):
live your best life the healthiest way that you possibly can.
And then that takes on a greater degree of significance.
And it was amazing the number of friends of mine
who went back to the gym.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I mean, that was the thing that tickled me the most.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
It's just everybody I've seen Instagram page to post Facebook
posts of friends who are when they're in the gym
and so forth like that. And I joke because people
used to tell me all the time, like why do
you go to the YMCA, I said, because I'm not
trying to fight. I ain't trying to win a fitness
card test. I'm not trying to box anybody. I want
to go someplace that is a comfortable, nurturing environment where
(16:41):
I can focus on my health. And that's what I
find when I go to the YMCA. Now everybody else's
gym may be a little different, but it's that vibe
that you look forward to of being in that environment
and it hits you a particular way. And then it's
funny because what you find is that everybody has that
same mental You're embracing your health in such a way
(17:05):
where you realize, now this is a part of your
daily routine. It's not enough to get up in the morning,
go to work, get your smack, I'll come on back
home and so forth like that. Now you make sure
your health, your mind, body, and spirit is taken care
of as well. So why am I sharing this with you?
And why do I think it's important for you to
know this. I want you to recognize that as you
(17:27):
transition to every part of your life, you're going to
have more time behind you than you are have in
front of you. And so as a result, what you're
gonna find is that as your body is going through
its changes, and that certain things you used to do
you can't do anymore. That you realize that you have
the ability to influence what happens with your.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Life your body.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
You can't change what's going to happen to your body,
but you can influence it. And I can tell you.
For me, turning forty was a God send because it
helped me learn a couple of things. One, it's time
for me to make sure I take my body equally
as seriously as everything else. Two, I'm not in it alone.
And three and most importantly, is that this is a
(18:12):
part of what it means to evolve to the next level.
And if that means taking a more proactive role and
making sure that my body and my spirit and everything
that goes along with it is working, well, I'm gonna
do so to the best of my ability, and I
hope you do the same as well. And let me
be the first to tell you before I let you,
guys go, don't wait for a crisis to happen before
you do something. Don't wait until you find yourself in
(18:35):
a hospital or something cray like that. Take advantage of
it right now and start taking your life in a
manner and saying yourself, I'm gonna live my best life,
and I'm gonna make sure my body is ready to
live my best life. Thanks everyone, take care, have a
good day to stay safe.
And in the good evening, everyone in the Tony read
Tony Reeves. When we read Tony reds fire, following the
news and right shape or or no sortage of things
to talk about.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
What will this is reality. We simply have to.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Let me read, let me read.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Let the Godhead and kids started.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hey run, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another edition of
Then the No.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I am Tony Reeves.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Thank you for taking the opportunity to join me today.
Let's go ahead and get rocking today. I want to
talk to you about what happens from a health standpoint
when you hit a certain age. No, I'm not talking
about when you're a seventies and your eighties. I'm talking
about when you hit your forties. And so it's important
to understand that when we go through our lives and
we're just kind of enjoying and living our best life,
(00:59):
sometimes our health tends to take a back seat unless
something happens. And I will tell you that when you
hit forty, your health takes on a greater level of significance.
So for all my listeners, especially those who are in
your thirties, forties and fifties, I wanted to make sure
I took the opportunity to share with you this particular
episode because I'm gonna tell you this episode is for you,
(01:23):
all right, So let's kind of set the stage accordingly
so that you can kind of understand where I'm at.
So here, I am forty something years of age, like
for around forty one or something like that. I go
to my regular routine doctor. I'm trying to do the
right thing. I've got a doctor that I'm going to.
I'm a black man, person of color, so my provider,
I'd like to stay consistent because I've been recommended by
(01:44):
providers to have somebody who's a person of color. So
my uh doctor's Puerto Rican. He's an older gentleman and
i'd seen him fairly annual. If my annual business, no, biggie,
I'm thinking, I'm just gonna roll in there. He's gonna
check my blood pressure, he's gonna look at my labs,
and we're gonna keep it moving. And then he surprised me.
Then he turns to me and he says to me, Okay,
(02:06):
let's go ahead and do this prostate exam.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I'm like, wait, whoaoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are
you talking about doctor.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Now, for those of you who have never had one
of these, you've probably heard it.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Google it.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's it's a procedure where really the doctor takes his
indeck's finger, puts it in your behind, and he's basically
seeing if your your prostate is enlarge. I need somebody
to figure out a better way to do this. Yes
you can do blood work, Yes you can get a biopsy,
but there's just gotta be a better way.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
If you're a guy and you've either had it or
you're aware of it, you're not looking forward to a
prostate example, I have that exam. That's just not something
that you put on your bucket list. Now for me,
you know, I'm thinking I know a little bit, and
I have read a book or two. I'm thinking, hey,
I know that typically regular prostate exams are recommend it
(02:58):
if you are well, wait a minute, I'm like early
forties forty one here, man, I'm still you know, young
and young, fresh and clean. What is happening here? What
are we talking about? Why am I getting a prostate exam?
And he saw the look on my face because I
was like, why am I getting a prostate exam? And
so he was like, well, you know, from a preventative measure.
(03:20):
You know, of course he's trying to talk to me
and tell me, oh, from a preventive measure. I ain't
trying to hear that because I don't want to know
prostate exam. Yes, I'm being petty, y'all, Yes I am.
I'm a peace with it. So I turned to him,
and of course, being learned, and I'm like, why do
we do this where we think the man who literally
had been practicing for twenty something years and went to
(03:40):
medical school would not know. Of course he's gonna know
more than me. But you know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna drop some stats like I know something. So
I turned to him and I say, very quietly, but
what's a conviction?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Doctor?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
My understanding is that prostate exams are not recommended, or
are excuse me, are recommended for men who are fifty
years of age. I'm not fifty. Thinking that I just
knew what I was talking about, he turns to me
and says, very politely, that's true. But what you don't
know is that Hispanic men, Latino men, black men have
(04:16):
a higher propensity of prostate cancer, and as such, the
medical journals recommend for white men and other ethnic groups
fifty and above, but for black men, Latino and hispanics
forty five. Oh okay, And the little piece of backstory
I didn't tell you about my dad's oldest brother had
(04:40):
prostate cancer. So he said, oh so, and you got
a family history. So not only have we jumping from
fifty to forty five, we're jumping from from forty five
top forty.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I'm like dying. Heck that Jib was saying what.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Needless to say, I got the prostatic sam and so
nothing was wrong, nothing was wrong or anything. But I
will tell you listening to him effectively tell me, you know,
it's one thing you have the past history, but just
listening to him, tell me about those milestones, about how.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yes, at fifty that may be the.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Case, but forty five, globally the demographic you're encouraged to
get it sooner. And if there's a family history, which
I had, they encourage you to do it just evens
sooner than that. And so the thing that I found
fascinating from that conversation was I started looking at help
a little differently. I started realizing that I was no
(05:31):
longer at that I'll go to a doctor moment. Now,
mind you, everybody always says that you should go to
a doctor as much as you possibly can, just to
prevent anything from happening. But I can tell you, when
you're in your twenties and thirties, going to a doctor
is the furthest thing from your mind. Everything in your
mind is working perfectly, So what the heck do you
need to go to a doctor for. But it was
(05:52):
fascinating to listen to him give me these milestone breakdowns
because what it told me was that I was now
transitioning into this next level of care of where it
was incumbent upon me to be more proactive about ensuring
that I don't have any problems that may require more
(06:13):
significant treatment.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
And I'm going to tell you it hit me a.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Particular way because at this stickular point, once I heard
him communicating what he said, the light came on to
me that now I was at a point where I
was heading into that groove where my age triggered certain milestones. Now,
I don't get me wrong, he was aware that I
(06:40):
had a history of prostly cancer my family. I had
been going to him, you know, in my thirties so
it wasn't a problem. But what was interesting is that once.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I hit forty, how he viewed.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Me and how he viewed my treatment and how he
viewed how I needed to be my aimful of it shifted.
And so at that particular point, I started to realize
that my age was automatically going to trigger certain things
and I needed to be mindful with that about that.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
But then here's the thing that I found was interesting.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Having the conversation with him made me realize my mortality
in a lot of ways. It wasn't like he was
trying to scare me into doing what I was supposed
to do. He was letting me know that as your
body ages, as you go through time, there are certain
things that there is a decent likelihood certain things may
(07:41):
happen to you medically, and so it was important that
i'd be proactive in getting in front of those things.
And he stressed to me that most things that you find,
if you find it early, dealing with it is a
lot easier. The biggest trouble most people have is that
they don't deal with it at all until it gets
to the point where their body. He basically makes them
deal with it, and the thing that became even more
(08:04):
unique was that when I listened to that perspective, I
realized really quickly that I wasn't psychologically ready for this turn.
I mean, no one tells you in your twenties and
thirties that you know when you get to your forties,
this is going to happen when you're fifties or sixty
or anything like that, mainly because in your mind, you're
not worried about those things. Again, I say, you're living
(08:25):
your best life, you out here ballin', and so you're
not thinking about the fact that you need to have,
you know, mammograms or prostate exams or any of those things.
Those things just don't necessarily resonate with you. And I
realized from listening to him that it needed to, that
I needed to reevaluate and change my mindset about how
(08:49):
I was going to deal with ensuring that my health
became an equal priority to me hanging out, vacation, partying, working,
whatever the case may be. And so then all of
a sudden, all of the things, all of these milestones,
took on a greater degree of importance. They became more
(09:09):
relevant to me because it made me realize that with
each milestone that I hit, I had to be cognizant
of what that milestone meant for me from a health standpoint.
But you know, the other thing that I realized really quickly,
I wasn't alone. And you're like, what do you mean
by you wasn't alone. Well, once I became once the
(09:32):
doctor kind of opened my eyes to the reality of
my health, I became intensely aware of the health of
my friends. And it's not like I was going around
to them going, hey, you go to doctor, Hey, you
go to doctor. Know. What was happening was that I
was heading into this window where I started to notice
(09:53):
that I had friends who were experiencing health issues of
their own during this particular time. And it didn't all
happen when I turned forty. But what I found was
there was a window of time where I had a
number of my friends having their own health crisis. They
I mean, there was literally a window where I had
at least three or four friends who had strokes, a
(10:15):
couple of friends had heart attacks, and a friend of
mine had aaric aneurism. I had a couple of friends
of mine with breast cancer. And it wasn't like we
were overwhelmed, But it was coming with such a degree
of frequency, and it was not like they were all
at one location and they all had this happen. They
were all people who were in different parts of the country.
But the only thing we had in common we were
all in the same age group, and almost every one
(10:38):
of them had a life altering event like this from
a health standpoint, and then their viewpoint in terms of
how they viewed and value their health changed. But there's
the other thing that was even more profound. We talked
about these things. I mean, it wasn't like you're in
the hospital, Okay, what was me? That's not what I mean.
I mean, once they got out of the hospital, once
(11:01):
they had their health scare, whatever the case may be,
they started having the conversations.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
And what I.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Found was almost all of my friends were very proactive
about encouraging others to not be in what they just
went through. And that's not trying to be funny. It's
just that you all of a sudden, you know, when
you have a friend who has a heart attack who
turns to you and says, hey, have you talked to
a cardiologist? I just want to make sure that you're good.
(11:28):
All of a sudden, you start realizing, well, maybe I
should go talk to someone. It was one of these
things where we all found that we needed to keep
each other accountable without expressly saying it. We didn't say
you better go to the doctor. I'm a kicker, but
it was more of a I went through this, and
I love you enough to say I don't want you
to go through it because you shouldn't want to go
through this either. And not only do they do that,
(11:51):
but you're also pivoting and we're watching everyone else do things.
And so what ends up happening is, you know, when
I talked to my friend and he talks about, yeah,
I go to see a cardiologist twice a year just
to give me a clean bill of health after my
own anurism, or I have one, you know, I have
an on collegist I go see annually and so forth.
You start realizing the importance of specialists. Then all of
(12:13):
a sudden, I, you know, as a result of this,
I'm thinking about my high blood pressure, so I go
to a nephrologist. I'm thinking about, you know, my prostates,
so I'm going to a urologists. I'm thinking about my
heart because I have a family history of heart disease,
I go to a cardiologist. All of a sudden, these
things take on a greater degree of significance because it's
(12:33):
one thing when you see your parents and your grandparents
and they have these health issues, and you're thinking the
esf all. You've convinced yourself psychologically that this is due
to age. You convince yourself that since they're much older
than you, of course this is gonna happen. But it's
not gonna happen to you. Until you find yourself in
a situation where a lot of people in your personal
circle are going through these health issues, and you stop
(12:54):
and you look and.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
You say, wait a minute, I am in that category.
So you got a choice.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
You can either sit back and wait for it to
happen to you, or you can proactively follow the leads
of your your friends and your families who have gone
through this in your circle, who are trying to encourage
you not to wait on this. And that's literally what
I found that I had to do. And this is
literally where I was at. So all of a sudden,
(13:20):
now I've gone from the mentality of denial where you
basically act like, oh, this is not gonna happen to me.
This can't to discipline. So all of a sudden, you
start getting into this situation where you start realizing, Hey,
I need to be focused on taking my medication. I
need to start no disrespect. Gosh, I love me some
(13:43):
fast food, but fast.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Food don't love me.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Some particular point, you hit that time when you realize
your blood work is your best friend. You start realizing, Wow,
why is my glue cooase level so high? Why is
my bloodshed?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
You know? Why is my you know, potassium level so high?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
You know, you're starting to look at those things, and
you're starting to realize that you can control, or at
least influence greatly what may happen to you next. And
you become proactive about doing what you can to make
sure nothing happens to you. And you know what ends
up happening, slowly but surely, a brotherhood or a sisterhood
(14:18):
of health is created.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
It just kind of happens organically.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And the reason why I say it happens organically is
because what ends up happening is in the course of
you talking. It's one thing when you used to have
those regular conversations and you shooting the breeze by, Hey,
what's going on? I'm AMA's happening and you're asking, you know,
in the early years in your twenties about you know,
how's your job? When we hit the club? We going
to hit the party. That's one thing. Then you hit
this groove where people start getting married, they start getting divorced,
(14:46):
they start having kids, and that starts to be a
part of it. But now you're segueing into this thing
where we're now asking questions how are you doing? And
when we mean by that, we mean how are you
doing because I know you are hospital? How are you
doing because I know you had cancer? How were you doing?
Because I know you had a stroke, And we're listening
(15:07):
and we're not trying to get in your business. We
just want to know what you're doing. And a lot
of times we invariably create this this in a working
in a personal relationship where we are listening to you
to educate us as to what we need to do,
and we do it float both ways. So I can't front.
(15:28):
I get motivated when I'm on the phone and my
friends and started telling me, I was, hey, what's going on? Hey,
I'm heading to jim Let me hit you up and
I get out. Guess what, nine times out of ten,
I'm going to the gym, or somebody calls me early
in the morning they're like, I know, you go to
the gym in the morning, You're on your way and
you're on your way out.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
I'm on my way out.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
And those things influence you, and the next thing you know,
you share that bond with each other. You're not bonding
because oh Will, You're bonding because you both recognize that
life is so short. You're not gonna get any more
time back. So you need to be doing everything possible
to be proactive about ensuring that you can maximize and
(16:05):
live your best life the healthiest way that you possibly can.
And then that takes on a greater degree of significance.
And it was amazing the number of friends of mine
who went back to the gym.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I mean, that was the thing that tickled me the most.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
It's just everybody I've seen Instagram page to post Facebook
posts of friends who are when they're in the gym
and so forth like that. And I joke because people
used to tell me all the time, like why do
you go to the YMCA, I said, because I'm not
trying to fight. I ain't trying to win a fitness
card test. I'm not trying to box anybody. I want
to go someplace that is a comfortable, nurturing environment where
(16:41):
I can focus on my health. And that's what I
find when I go to the YMCA. Now everybody else's
gym may be a little different, but it's that vibe
that you look forward to of being in that environment
and it hits you a particular way. And then it's
funny because what you find is that everybody has that
same mental You're embracing your health in such a way
(17:05):
where you realize, now this is a part of your
daily routine. It's not enough to get up in the morning,
go to work, get your smack, I'll come on back
home and so forth like that. Now you make sure
your health, your mind, body, and spirit is taken care
of as well. So why am I sharing this with you?
And why do I think it's important for you to
know this. I want you to recognize that as you
(17:27):
transition to every part of your life, you're going to
have more time behind you than you are have in
front of you. And so as a result, what you're
gonna find is that as your body is going through
its changes, and that certain things you used to do
you can't do anymore. That you realize that you have
the ability to influence what happens with your.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Life your body.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
You can't change what's going to happen to your body,
but you can influence it. And I can tell you.
For me, turning forty was a God send because it
helped me learn a couple of things. One, it's time
for me to make sure I take my body equally
as seriously as everything else. Two, I'm not in it alone.
And three and most importantly, is that this is a
(18:12):
part of what it means to evolve to the next level.
And if that means taking a more proactive role and
making sure that my body and my spirit and everything
that goes along with it is working, well, I'm gonna
do so to the best of my ability, and I
hope you do the same as well. And let me
be the first to tell you before I let you,
guys go, don't wait for a crisis to happen before
you do something. Don't wait until you find yourself in
(18:35):
a hospital or something cray like that. Take advantage of
it right now and start taking your life in a
manner and saying yourself, I'm gonna live my best life,
and I'm gonna make sure my body is ready to
live my best life. Thanks everyone, take care, have a
good day to stay safe.
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