June 9, 2025 • 12 mins
Turning 40 wasn’t just another birthday — it was a turning point. In this episode, I open up about the moment I realized I was living a life I hadn’t planned: running my own law firm, carrying the full weight of responsibility, and redefining success on my own terms. If you’re in your 40s — or approaching them — and wondering what it all means, this one’s for you. This is about career shifts, hard truths, and why time becomes your most valuable asset.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
And in the good evening, everyone in the red Tony Reeves.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
When you read Tony Reeves fire following the news that
the great shape or no sortage of things to talk about,
what this is? The reality was simply happening. Let me read,
let me read, Let me go ahead and get started.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Hey, hey, hey, hey everyone, welcome, welcome, welcome, Welcome to
another edition of In the Know with Tony Reeves. I
am your host. Let's go ahead and get rocking. I
want to talk to you about a milestone, turning forty,
And for me, turning forty wasn't just a birthday, it
(00:51):
was a reality check. I looked around and then I
realized that I was really living a life that I
had never play. I was running my own law firm
that I'd never even imagined starting. And suddenly the idea
of time, my time became very real. So I want
(01:12):
to talk to you a little today about what does
it mean when you turn hit a milestone like forty,
why it hits a little different? And I realized that
this was the moment that I knew there was no
going back. So let's go ahead and jump right into it.
So for those of you who don't know I turned
forty in two thousand and nine, and so I want
to kind of talk to you about where I was
(01:33):
in two thousand and nine. At this particular point, I
had went out of my own I had been a
practicing attorney since two thousand and one. I had been
working for a law firm, and I decided to start
my own law firm in two thousand and seven. Then
in two thousand and eight, my wife decided to leave
her job and start working for me as my office manager.
(01:56):
So now in two thousand and nine, I am here
where my firm is. It's not even a full two
years old. We have primarily just one source of income,
and my wife is working for me, and I am
now in this position of running my own practice. Now
you have to understand where I came from. At this
particular point in time, most of my professional career had
(02:18):
been working for others. You know. I worked for the
state for three years, I served in the military for
three years, and then prior to opening up my own
law firm, I had been at a firm for about
six years, and it was a firm that I had
kind of convinced myself that I didn't think I would
be going anywhere many time soon. So here I am
at a position where got a law firm, gig, I'm
(02:39):
making about seventy seven thousand. I'm thinking, Okay, all is
good in the world, got a brand new house, my
wife is working, I'm working. Everything is going great. Then
I got to the point where I had to make
a decision in terms of whether to pivot and stay
at the job or leave. And I made the decision
to leave. So in two thousand and nine, here I
(02:59):
am turning forty and realizing that I am now a
little over a year and a half to almost two
years removed from a very stable job having my own
law firm. And this was coming from a person who
literally didn't have an entrepreneurial background. I mean, I'd never
(03:21):
run anything on my own, and you know, I've been
in charge of organizations and entities, but I've never had
any background in running my own business. And this is
where I am. And so now I found myself in
this really unique position of having to decide and having
to determine how I'm going to balance my professional life
(03:43):
and the household pressure as a soul breadwinner. And why
is that important to recognize? Because a lot of times
when we hit these milestone and that's one of the
reasons we birthdays are important because birthdays typically signify certain things.
And so for me, at that particular point, I realized
(04:04):
that I was in this situation where I had no roadmap.
I mean, and it sounds corny, but think about it.
For most of us, when we are coming out of
high school or going into college and so forth, we
kind of mentally prepare ourselves for this roadmap that we
believe is going to be the roadmap for our success.
And I can tell you that at each point of
(04:25):
my professional career, whether it be working for the state
or in the military, even an associate at a law firm,
I thought I had a model in front of me
that literally laid out what I was going to do.
When I joined for the work for the state, I
was going to work to go from one position to
second position to the third position where it peaked out.
When I was in the military, I thought I would
(04:45):
do twenty years if I was fortunate, maybe make it
to commander or lieutenant commander, or maybe a captain if
I was lucky. When I was at the law firm,
my goal was to be partner at that firm. But
now I'm at a different point, and I'm realizing that
there is a difference between when I was, you know,
kind of in this dreaming mode, when I was in
(05:06):
my twenties in terms of being aspirational about what I
wanted to do because mindful, you know, I was in
my early twenties when I worked for the State, I
was in my mid twenties when I worked in the
military as an officer, and then I was literally in
my early thirties when I joined the law firm. At
each one of those junctures, I saw in my mind
a clear cut pathway where I'm like, Okay, this is
(05:27):
where I think is gonna happen. But then what happens
is that the difference between when you're in your twenties
and it looks like the road is wide open and
it literally is, is that you're kind of aspirational at
that particular point, But then you hit forties and you
start realizing that your time is valuable, so you have
to start making more definitive decisions. It's not about saying
(05:49):
this is what I can see and I'm going to
work towards it. No, this is what I need to
have happened, and that's what really counts at that particular point.
And see, the biggest part that you realize is that
when you're in your twenties and even in your early thirties,
you kind of think you got enough time to do
all of these different things that you're thinking about doing.
But then when you hit your forties, you start going
(06:11):
from recognizing that you've now dedicated a certain amount of
time in your professional life and you are now at
that point where you're making those turns and you want
to make every decision count. That's not trying to imply
that they didn't count when you're in your twenties and thirties,
it's just in your forties. You've got to remember, when
you hit forty, you've been in the workforce probably about
(06:33):
twenty years. It doesn't feel like it, and if you've
changed careers quite a bit during that time period, it
may have taken you a moment to kind of settle
in to actually what it is you would like to
do kind of going forward. So it's important for you
to remember that that once you hit that milestone, it's
not just assume that you were not focused or even
(06:53):
using word flaky or indecisive in your early years. It's
just that in those early years, when you're trying to
define who you are professionally, you're using that time to
accumulate those experiences, make those positions that you're trying to attain,
make those turns, and so forth. Once you've hit forty,
you've been You've got twenty years worth of stuff behind
you to look back towards to determine what your next
(07:15):
steps are going to go in terms going forward. So
what does that mean for purposes of those people who
find themselves in that situation where you're turning forty, what
should you expect at that particular point. At that particular point,
you stop coasting. And for those of you who are
like who are going to hear this and say, well,
that's offensive, you're trying to say I'm coasting. No no, no, no, no no.
(07:36):
What I'm saying is that when you're in those early
years and you're still developing and becoming established in your
career or whatever decisions you make, and even to the
point where you've choose chosen to make career turns and
so forth, it's a little easier to make those turns
because in your mind you've convinced yourself that you kind
of got time to do so. But once you get
(07:59):
forty and you know you've had twenty years back behind you,
you want to use that experience, that expertise, and those
things that you've done along the way to be intentional
and deliberate in what you do next, because in this
particular point, it's not about deliberately changing to something and
then taking a few years to get up to speak. No,
you've attained skills and abilities that you want to transfer
(08:20):
to other opportunities that you can build upon. It's one
thing to build on something that's brand new and you're
starting from the ground up and so forth, but it's
another thing to have these skill sets, in these abilities
that you can now put an application right now and
see the fruits of your labor right now. As you're
going forward, you also reassess what success really means, because
(08:44):
if you're stopping, you look backwards. You've probably had plenty
of opportunities to be successful at different rights, but you
probably defined it differently. It may have been a position,
it may have been for a company, it may have
been a salary. But then what is up happening is
that you start looking at those different things and say
to yourself, I had a great position there, but the
salary sucked. I got paid great money there, but the
(09:06):
job suck. You know, you had great a company here,
but they didn't pay you what you deserved. And what
happens is that you start getting a greater appreciation of
what it is that you want and what you're willing
to compromise in order to get what you want, and
what you believe you're worth in terms of that going forward.
(09:27):
And then you realize the biggest thing, if I haven't
made it clear, is that your time means everything. That
is the one thing you know definitively you're not getting
any more of. So it's one thing when you're twenty
twenty one, twenty two and you're starting off and you
(09:48):
know you've got about a good forty or fifty year
work history in front of you to do whatever you
want to. It's another thing to get halfway through that
period of time and say, okay, I am not really
trying to waste my time my next decisions. So then
that particular point, not only are you deliberate about it,
but whoever you decide to work with or work for,
(10:08):
they know going in when they're engaging you, that you
know the value of your time. So what happens in
the grander scheme of things is that you recognize you
can't undo the past, but now you've hit that magical
milestone of recognizing you can take charge of whatever is
(10:29):
going to happen next. Now, I want you to stop
and reflect a bit and ask yourself what decisions are
you making right now that will shape your next ten years. Now,
for those of you who've had the opportunity, I've had
a couple of other podcasts in here, in one particular
that's very popular, which is Thirties, my series of thirties, forties,
(10:53):
fifties and beyond where I talk about different ones and
so forth like that. But please make sure you reach
out to me if you have any feedback about what
was like when you hit those milestones, And make sure
you check out my Patreon page which is Patreon and
Anthony ree the Anthony Reeves Experience. Or you can always
shoot me a message, tag me or send me a
(11:15):
message let me know about what your thoughts are about this. Listen,
I want you to recognize that as you hit the
various milestones in your life, you're going to realize that
you're trying to be the next and better version of yourself,
and I hope that my feedback today can help you
in that pursuit. I'm Tony Reeves, and it's always I'm
going to ask you with my favorite question of the day.
Are you ready for the Anthony Reeves experience?
And in the good evening, everyone in the red Tony Reeves.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
When you read Tony Reeves fire following the news that
the great shape or no sortage of things to talk about,
what this is? The reality was simply happening. Let me read,
let me read, Let me go ahead and get started.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Hey, hey, hey, hey everyone, welcome, welcome, welcome, Welcome to
another edition of In the Know with Tony Reeves. I
am your host. Let's go ahead and get rocking. I
want to talk to you about a milestone, turning forty,
And for me, turning forty wasn't just a birthday, it
(00:51):
was a reality check. I looked around and then I
realized that I was really living a life that I
had never play. I was running my own law firm
that I'd never even imagined starting. And suddenly the idea
of time, my time became very real. So I want
(01:12):
to talk to you a little today about what does
it mean when you turn hit a milestone like forty,
why it hits a little different? And I realized that
this was the moment that I knew there was no
going back. So let's go ahead and jump right into it.
So for those of you who don't know I turned
forty in two thousand and nine, and so I want
to kind of talk to you about where I was
(01:33):
in two thousand and nine. At this particular point, I
had went out of my own I had been a
practicing attorney since two thousand and one. I had been
working for a law firm, and I decided to start
my own law firm in two thousand and seven. Then
in two thousand and eight, my wife decided to leave
her job and start working for me as my office manager.
(01:56):
So now in two thousand and nine, I am here
where my firm is. It's not even a full two
years old. We have primarily just one source of income,
and my wife is working for me, and I am
now in this position of running my own practice. Now
you have to understand where I came from. At this
particular point in time, most of my professional career had
(02:18):
been working for others. You know. I worked for the
state for three years, I served in the military for
three years, and then prior to opening up my own
law firm, I had been at a firm for about
six years, and it was a firm that I had
kind of convinced myself that I didn't think I would
be going anywhere many time soon. So here I am
at a position where got a law firm, gig, I'm
(02:39):
making about seventy seven thousand. I'm thinking, Okay, all is
good in the world, got a brand new house, my
wife is working, I'm working. Everything is going great. Then
I got to the point where I had to make
a decision in terms of whether to pivot and stay
at the job or leave. And I made the decision
to leave. So in two thousand and nine, here I
(02:59):
am turning forty and realizing that I am now a
little over a year and a half to almost two
years removed from a very stable job having my own
law firm. And this was coming from a person who
literally didn't have an entrepreneurial background. I mean, I'd never
(03:21):
run anything on my own, and you know, I've been
in charge of organizations and entities, but I've never had
any background in running my own business. And this is
where I am. And so now I found myself in
this really unique position of having to decide and having
to determine how I'm going to balance my professional life
(03:43):
and the household pressure as a soul breadwinner. And why
is that important to recognize? Because a lot of times
when we hit these milestone and that's one of the
reasons we birthdays are important because birthdays typically signify certain things.
And so for me, at that particular point, I realized
(04:04):
that I was in this situation where I had no roadmap.
I mean, and it sounds corny, but think about it.
For most of us, when we are coming out of
high school or going into college and so forth, we
kind of mentally prepare ourselves for this roadmap that we
believe is going to be the roadmap for our success.
And I can tell you that at each point of
(04:25):
my professional career, whether it be working for the state
or in the military, even an associate at a law firm,
I thought I had a model in front of me
that literally laid out what I was going to do.
When I joined for the work for the state, I
was going to work to go from one position to
second position to the third position where it peaked out.
When I was in the military, I thought I would
(04:45):
do twenty years if I was fortunate, maybe make it
to commander or lieutenant commander, or maybe a captain if
I was lucky. When I was at the law firm,
my goal was to be partner at that firm. But
now I'm at a different point, and I'm realizing that
there is a difference between when I was, you know,
kind of in this dreaming mode, when I was in
(05:06):
my twenties in terms of being aspirational about what I
wanted to do because mindful, you know, I was in
my early twenties when I worked for the State, I
was in my mid twenties when I worked in the
military as an officer, and then I was literally in
my early thirties when I joined the law firm. At
each one of those junctures, I saw in my mind
a clear cut pathway where I'm like, Okay, this is
(05:27):
where I think is gonna happen. But then what happens
is that the difference between when you're in your twenties
and it looks like the road is wide open and
it literally is, is that you're kind of aspirational at
that particular point, But then you hit forties and you
start realizing that your time is valuable, so you have
to start making more definitive decisions. It's not about saying
(05:49):
this is what I can see and I'm going to
work towards it. No, this is what I need to
have happened, and that's what really counts at that particular point.
And see, the biggest part that you realize is that
when you're in your twenties and even in your early thirties,
you kind of think you got enough time to do
all of these different things that you're thinking about doing.
But then when you hit your forties, you start going
(06:11):
from recognizing that you've now dedicated a certain amount of
time in your professional life and you are now at
that point where you're making those turns and you want
to make every decision count. That's not trying to imply
that they didn't count when you're in your twenties and thirties,
it's just in your forties. You've got to remember, when
you hit forty, you've been in the workforce probably about
(06:33):
twenty years. It doesn't feel like it, and if you've
changed careers quite a bit during that time period, it
may have taken you a moment to kind of settle
in to actually what it is you would like to
do kind of going forward. So it's important for you
to remember that that once you hit that milestone, it's
not just assume that you were not focused or even
(06:53):
using word flaky or indecisive in your early years. It's
just that in those early years, when you're trying to
define who you are professionally, you're using that time to
accumulate those experiences, make those positions that you're trying to attain,
make those turns, and so forth. Once you've hit forty,
you've been You've got twenty years worth of stuff behind
you to look back towards to determine what your next
(07:15):
steps are going to go in terms going forward. So
what does that mean for purposes of those people who
find themselves in that situation where you're turning forty, what
should you expect at that particular point. At that particular point,
you stop coasting. And for those of you who are
like who are going to hear this and say, well,
that's offensive, you're trying to say I'm coasting. No no, no, no, no no.
(07:36):
What I'm saying is that when you're in those early
years and you're still developing and becoming established in your
career or whatever decisions you make, and even to the
point where you've choose chosen to make career turns and
so forth, it's a little easier to make those turns
because in your mind you've convinced yourself that you kind
of got time to do so. But once you get
(07:59):
forty and you know you've had twenty years back behind you,
you want to use that experience, that expertise, and those
things that you've done along the way to be intentional
and deliberate in what you do next, because in this
particular point, it's not about deliberately changing to something and
then taking a few years to get up to speak. No,
you've attained skills and abilities that you want to transfer
(08:20):
to other opportunities that you can build upon. It's one
thing to build on something that's brand new and you're
starting from the ground up and so forth, but it's
another thing to have these skill sets, in these abilities
that you can now put an application right now and
see the fruits of your labor right now. As you're
going forward, you also reassess what success really means, because
(08:44):
if you're stopping, you look backwards. You've probably had plenty
of opportunities to be successful at different rights, but you
probably defined it differently. It may have been a position,
it may have been for a company, it may have
been a salary. But then what is up happening is
that you start looking at those different things and say
to yourself, I had a great position there, but the
salary sucked. I got paid great money there, but the
(09:06):
job suck. You know, you had great a company here,
but they didn't pay you what you deserved. And what
happens is that you start getting a greater appreciation of
what it is that you want and what you're willing
to compromise in order to get what you want, and
what you believe you're worth in terms of that going forward.
(09:27):
And then you realize the biggest thing, if I haven't
made it clear, is that your time means everything. That
is the one thing you know definitively you're not getting
any more of. So it's one thing when you're twenty
twenty one, twenty two and you're starting off and you
(09:48):
know you've got about a good forty or fifty year
work history in front of you to do whatever you
want to. It's another thing to get halfway through that
period of time and say, okay, I am not really
trying to waste my time my next decisions. So then
that particular point, not only are you deliberate about it,
but whoever you decide to work with or work for,
(10:08):
they know going in when they're engaging you, that you
know the value of your time. So what happens in
the grander scheme of things is that you recognize you
can't undo the past, but now you've hit that magical
milestone of recognizing you can take charge of whatever is
(10:29):
going to happen next. Now, I want you to stop
and reflect a bit and ask yourself what decisions are
you making right now that will shape your next ten years. Now,
for those of you who've had the opportunity, I've had
a couple of other podcasts in here, in one particular
that's very popular, which is Thirties, my series of thirties, forties,
(10:53):
fifties and beyond where I talk about different ones and
so forth like that. But please make sure you reach
out to me if you have any feedback about what
was like when you hit those milestones, And make sure
you check out my Patreon page which is Patreon and
Anthony ree the Anthony Reeves Experience. Or you can always
shoot me a message, tag me or send me a
(11:15):
message let me know about what your thoughts are about this. Listen,
I want you to recognize that as you hit the
various milestones in your life, you're going to realize that
you're trying to be the next and better version of yourself,
and I hope that my feedback today can help you
in that pursuit. I'm Tony Reeves, and it's always I'm
going to ask you with my favorite question of the day.
Are you ready for the Anthony Reeves experience?
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