Hour 1: Money Problems, Marriage Solutions

There's more to money problems than not sticking to the budget. Chuck Bentley reveals the underlying issues of financial discord and offers seven keys to help couples unite and conquer to resolve financial issues together. Join us with your questions on the sticky subject of money in marriage.

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Episode Transcript

S1 (00:00):
Hi friend, thank you so much for downloading this podcast
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(00:43):
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(01:45):
with Janet Parshall. Now please enjoy the broadcast.

S2 (01:59):
Have I got the deal for you? Would you like
to have a T-Bone steak and lobster served on the
finest China, accompanied by a bottle of the world's greatest wine,
served in a crystal glass alone. Or would you rather
have a Big Mac? An order of fries, a cherry

(02:20):
pie underneath a big oak tree, sitting on a blanket,
snuggled up to the one you love? I'll take love
over money if the green give me honey. Some people work, work,
work their lives away. I'll take love over money any day.

S1 (02:46):
All right. So is that the song you're singing today
as you're coming home from work? And what about that
intersection between love and money? And then when you think
about it, sparks that fly in a marriage because of money.
Guess what we're talking about this our welcome to in
the market with Janet Parshall. Let me give you our
phone number because I'm thinking I'm just thinking there might
be a few calls that might come in on this topic,

(03:07):
because if you're married, you don't need me to tell
you that some of the biggest sparks start flying on
this subject of money with a married couple. So we're
going to talk about money problems and marriage solutions. Yeah,
the two go together. Here's our number [phone]. And this
works out rather well because that happens to be the

(03:28):
name of the book that Chuck Bentley and his wife
and co wrote together called Money Problems Marriage Solutions seven
Keys to Aligning Your Finances and Uniting Your Hearts. You
know who Chuck is? He is a graduate of Baylor University.
He's the CEO of Crown Financial Ministries, traveled the world
talking about finances to the affluent, to the very, very poor.

(03:49):
And in between. He writes a lot of books and
counsels people on their finances. So this is going to
be a really good conversation. [phone]. And the lines are
already starting to line up. So here's the subtitle. And
this is where I want to start my conversation with Chuck.
Seven keys to aligning your Finances and uniting your hearts.

(04:09):
So Chuck 35,000 foot question. Let me take it up
up in the atmosphere for a little bit here. I'm
just guessing. In all the years that you've been teaching
people about finances, particularly when you're counseling couples, there are
sparks that fly because we're different people with different personalities,
and sometimes we come with very different approaches to finances.

(04:30):
Some of us are squirrels. We like to put it
all away, others of us like to spend it. Uh,
some people have some very strong ideas about tithing. Others don't. So, boy,
you want to have a flash point in a marriage?
Seems to me money is a really good one. Did
you see that in the years you've been teaching people?

S3 (04:47):
Well, not only the years I've been teaching people, Janet,
but in my own life. In. Someone asked me earlier today.
Why did we write this book about, um, marriage solutions
to our money problems? And I said it was because
of P.a.i.n. We had a lot of pain. It was painful.
And so we see that not only in our not

(05:08):
only in our own experience, Janet, but in so many
people's that we counsel. I've been doing this for a
long time, helping couples all over the world from every context,
and we find that it's an area where Satan does
so much damage. He not only divides couples, but he
will also neutralize them from achieving their financial goals. So

(05:28):
we want to help with those problems.

S1 (05:31):
Oh, I'm so glad. All right. I want to linger
again in the big picture before we dig down into
the seven keys. So you can't come to a solution
if you can't clearly identify the problem. So is it
because we have different personalities just in terms of our
emotional life, with different, uh, ways in which we approach
our relationship with the Lord different ways in which we

(05:52):
approach money, and then trying to mesh those together is
why the gear spark.

S3 (05:58):
You know, Janet, you're you're on to a whole lot
of the issues. It's a complex challenge of getting getting
united on the issue of money. Many people think that
a budget or getting out of debt or simply increasing
your savings is going to solve your financial problem. But
if the whole world were out of debt, I would
still contend that couples would struggle to get along with money.

(06:20):
And you're talking about some of our differences, but in
our case, I'll be just really personal and transparent. We
came from two totally different backgrounds. We came from different upbringings.
So our parents had taught us differently in regard to money.
I had my way and had her way, and we
didn't agree with each other. And it was subtle at first,

(06:41):
and then it became much more pronounced and it didn't
go away. We tried to ignore it. We tried to
do all the right things we were supposed to do.
But what ended up happening to us is that we
were neutralized. We really weren't making financial progress because we
didn't agree with each other, and a lot of that
came from different upbringings.

S1 (07:02):
Yeah. So that was part of the problem. And that
I think is reflected in a whole lot of marriages,
which is why you start the book by talking about
making the intentional decision to be peacemakers. Talk to me
about that, Chuck.

S3 (07:15):
In marriage, sometimes we are either passive or aggressive about
making war with our spouse. Uh, you know, we we
go at it overtly and we fight, we argue, we
get our feelings hurt, and we go in our separate corners.
And then if we don't get that resolved, it carries
on passively. We just either avoid the subject, or we
subtly dig in our heels and try to do our

(07:37):
own thing and and imagine that it's going to work
out anyway. And this can go on for years and
years and our lives. It went on for 21 years.
Now I'm admitting this after being the CEO of one
of the largest Christian financial teaching organizations in the world.
People think that we would have had it all together,
but we struggled right at home. And I think there's

(07:57):
there's a reason for that. Satan knows if he can
get you divided at the very core of your relationship
in a marriage, then he's going to win. In breaking
down the family. If he breaks down the family, he's
going to break down the church, and then he's going
to break down a nation. And Janet, you work in
this space all day, every day. And I'm trying to
boil it down to something very simple of making peace

(08:21):
with your spouse so that Satan can't divide you at
that very personal level when you begin to make financial
decisions together.

S1 (08:30):
Wow. Oh, this is going to be a fruitful conversation, Chuck.
Thank you. And thank Ann as well for laying it
on the line, for being transparent and for really helping
us understand that while we're talking about finances, this has
everything in the world to do with enriching our enriching
our marriages as well. So the book that Chuck and
Ann have co-authored is called Money Problems Marriage Solutions seven

(08:51):
Keys to Aligning Your Finances and Uniting Your Hearts. That
last part particularly important. [phone]. Already got a lot of
great questions online. [phone]. Who wouldn't want to spend an
hour with Chuck Bentley? He is, after all, the CEO
of Crown Financial Ministries. I know I do. We're just
getting started much more right after this.

S2 (09:13):
Honey, honey, some people work, work, work their lives away.
But I'll take love over money any day. Love over money.
Go get the grain. Give me honey. Some people work,
work work work, work, work their lives away. But I'll

(09:37):
take love over money any day.

S1 (09:47):
We live in a culture that's infatuated with the latest fads,
but Ephesians 415 calls for us to be stable, no
longer infants, Paul said, tossed about by the waves and
carried around by every wind of teaching on in the market.
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Call 877 Janet, 58 or go online to in the

(10:10):
market with Janet Parshall.

S4 (10:20):
They say money is the root of all evil, but
I ain't going for that. I'm telling you, brother, if
we help one another, showing up comes right back. Money
and love makes the world go round. Love and money
make a beautiful sound. Do a lot of good and

(10:41):
spread it around. Money and love makes the world go round.

S1 (10:46):
Yeah. And sometimes money and love cause a few sparks.
And that's why Chuck and Anne Bentley wrote the book.
Money problems, marriage solutions and what they do. Yeah. Sneaky
on their part. They get us to start looking at
our relationship and our marriage, because the approach toward money
falls into alignment when we do the heart repair before
we do the wallet repair. So the subtitle says it

(11:06):
all seven Keys to Aligning Your Finances and Uniting Your Hearts. [phone].
Let me go to Dan, who joins us from Illinois. Dan,
thanks for getting on. And your question for Chuck, please.

S5 (11:20):
Hi. Well, thanks for having me on the show. My wife,
my soon to be wife are getting married next week,
but we do have $8,000 in unsecured debt that we're
looking to start paying off. How do we balance either
working a lot of overtime or multiple jobs to start
knocking out this debt alongside with having a healthy marriage.

S3 (11:44):
Well, I think that's a great question, Dan. And number one,
let me commend you for talking about your debt before
you get married. I hope both of you are fully
aware of the debt. Am I correct that you've had
a discussion about that?

S5 (11:57):
Yeah, yeah. We're both aware of the debts and where
they're coming from.

S3 (12:03):
Yeah, well, to pay off debt and to pay it
off more quickly, you need a unified plan. And I'm
going to refer back to my book because what we
lacked was a unified plan. We struggled to even get
to the point where we could get to that planning part.
So we had to prepare our hearts and find agreement points.

(12:23):
As Janet said earlier, we had to set up a
system where we would follow a system and then get
our plan in place. There's a lot of ways to
pay down debt more quickly. Fortunately, your number, if I
heard you correctly, is $9,000. I don't think you have
to get your life out of balance to be able
to do that. It took you probably a long time

(12:43):
to accumulate that debt, Dan, and it may take you
a little bit a while to get it all completely
paid off, but you're going to do it with a
slow and steady process, and to do so to manage
your marriage well, to manage your life well, and to
keep your life in balance. Can you just give me
a little bit of idea of what kind of debt
this is?

S5 (13:03):
Um, most of it is credit card debt. And then
about a third of it is student loans.

S3 (13:10):
Okay. Well, your credit card debt is going to be
your most expensive debt. And I would recommend the debt
snowball method, where you list all of your credit card
debts from highest to lowest, and you start and pay
one of them off as quickly as possible. And then
whatever you were applying to that debt, you roll it
into the next debt and so on until you gain momentum. Uh,

(13:32):
there's some real nice calculators on our website to help
you to figure out how to do that And certainly
recruit your your spouse to help you with that process.
And let us know at Crown if there's anything we
can do to get you on a plan to get
you on the right path.

S1 (13:47):
And Dan, can I build on what Chuck just said?
I think his book is a great place to start,
particularly because you're days away from getting married, and there's
a whole bunch of things in there that will help
you and your wife to be really create a plan.
In fact, I'm so glad that you asked the question
because chapter six, key six create a unified financial Plan.
So check it out at our website in the market

(14:08):
with Janet parshall.org. We've got a link to Crown Financial.
We've got a link to Money Problems, Marriage Solutions that
Chuck and Anne Bentley co-authored together. And blessings to you
as you start this next chapter of your life. Let
me linger here if I can, Chuck, because I don't
want people to miss this key. And that is Dan
and his soon to be wife have decided together they
want to eradicate debt. That can't happen unless the two

(14:29):
people are in agreement because they've agreed on a plan.
This is crucial, is it not?

S3 (14:35):
It's totally crucial. And of course, it's crucial to know
beforehand how much debt you have. I talked to couples
all the time before they get married, and I say,
do you know each other's credit score? And of course, Janice,
most of the time they don't have a clue. And
they've never talked about the student loan debts or the
things they're bringing into the marriage. And so many times,
as you said in the opening of the program, you

(14:56):
start off with sparks and those sparks become a fire,
and you see debt growing in the early stages of
a marriage. So I was really encouraged by Dan's question.
I think he's going to do well. I think he's
going to get united and they'll get that $9,000 knocked out.

S1 (15:13):
I agree, and Chuck, I love the questions that are
online because so many of them are dressed in your book. Again,
the book is called Money Problems, Marriage Solutions. Nicole, let
me go to you next, if I may please, in Ohio. Welcome.
And your question for Chuck Bentley.

S6 (15:26):
Uh, thanks for having me on. And, um, what I
want to say is, um, I'm in a second marriage, uh,
both my husband and I, and, uh, he has a
variable income, and I have a fixed. And it's been
tough to try to get on the same page with
a budget because he's not so willing to sometimes talk

(15:47):
about these things.

S3 (15:50):
Well, thank you, Nicole, and thank you for opening up
about that. It's very difficult. And I talk about, uh,
the issue of the second marriage in my book because, uh,
you probably are living with that concern and possibly a
fear that some of the mistakes or challenges you had
in the past might come forward. And we want to
help couples who are trying to reestablish their life to

(16:11):
avoid those mistakes. And the first thing is to work
with your husband to get your hearts united. Uh, our book,
The Seven Steps, really lays out five of those steps
that are uniting your hearts because I believe it's more
important to get the marriage right. So it's totally functioning
and hitting on all cylinders before you try to fix
the financial problems, the financial problems, even if they're fixed, sometimes,

(16:35):
only makes the marriage differences worse. So if you'll go
through these five steps and recruit your husband to agree
with you to work through the book together, the steps
are very simple in terms of a concept, but they're
difficult unless you really work through them and agree on them.
And if you agree on those steps, then you'll be

(16:55):
on your way. Now, in regard to your variable income,
I'll just say this. If you'll take his average monthly income,
then build your budget around the average. I know it's
not perfect, but at least it will help you to
do some forecasting will help you to sort of stay
in the rails so you don't get off into a
deep hole.

S1 (17:14):
Mm. I hope so much, Nicole, that that helps. In
the meantime, let me also recommend that you visit our website.
I say this only because you're driving, you're doing other
things and you're going to get linked to Chuck's website
because he is indeed the CEO of Crown Financial Ministries. Fabulous,
fabulous Resources, their newest book. Money problems, marriage solutions. Nicole,

(17:34):
I pray that that will enrich your marriage and help
you as well. Let me take a break. [phone]. So
much more with Chuck Bentley right after this.

S4 (18:01):
He likes love. She got more than enough. And they'll
stay together till they find something better. She likes money.
He likes love.

S1 (18:17):
Well, that's a perfect song. As we continue our conversation
with Chuck Bentley, CEO of Crown Financial Ministries. He's traveled
the world, by the way, teaching people how to handle
their finances from the very rich to the very, very poor.
And he's written several books. His latest is called Money
Problems Marriage Solutions seven Keys to Aligning Your Finances and
Uniting Your Hearts. Therein lies the rub. That last part

(18:40):
of the subtitle, [phone]. Tracy, you are in Arizona. I
thank you so for joining us. And your question, please.

S7 (18:50):
Thank you very much. Um, my husband manages the finances
by and large. And how does one balance, um, the
biblical directive to be respectful to your husband and also
the directive for charitable and church tithing?

S3 (19:06):
Well, I'd like to unpack that a little bit, Tracy.
It sounds like there's a little bit behind this. Are
you in disagreement on how much you give as a couple?

S7 (19:16):
Um, from time to time, yes. There's times when I,
I feel, uh, you know, more monetary, um, giving is necessary,
like after hurricane relief and, um, special things at church
and where he's feeling a little bit more, um, thin
on the financial side and doesn't feel that that's necessary.
And so it causes tension and, um, just I'm still

(19:38):
trying to follow biblical directives and, but still maintain harmony
at home.

S3 (19:44):
Yeah. That's great. Well, Tracy, I can certainly understand your dilemma.
And you sound a little bit like my wife. Uh,
that you would be my wife calling a number of
years ago and telling about her tension, living with me. Uh, Janet,
one of the reasons I don't bring in on these
programs is she tells the honest, unvarnished truth about me.
You know? And, uh, Tracy's getting pretty close. I was

(20:05):
the stubborn one in our marriage, and I was not
the generous one. I like to spend money and, uh.
And like to save it. I was, uh, the one
that was ready to give it away pretty readily without
being disciplined to have the budget necessary to do it.
So we had a lot of those complications. I'm going
to sort your question into two parts. Always respect your

(20:25):
husband even when you disagree, because that's a sign of
your desire to be a peacemaker. And respect is just
balm to a to a sore spot in a marriage.
Respect is how God helps to bring healing whenever you're
in disagreement. It's the very first chapter of our book.
And so, uh, respect your husband even when you're disagreeing

(20:48):
about money. Secondly, ask him if he'll read through the
book with you. And where your fundamental disagreement is, is
on your philosophy of money. And when you will agree
on a biblical philosophy which says, by the way, Tracy, that, uh,
giving is the highest and best use of money. Uh,
Christ described, uh, when he said in acts 20 that, uh,

(21:10):
it is more blessed to give than to receive, that
giving should be the number one priority of our life.
And so when you but you have to agree on that,
you have to agree to that philosophy. And then you
start to work through the little issues about when we're
going to do it, who's going to get it, and
how much we're going to give. But at the highest
levels degree. On your philosophy that God said it's the

(21:33):
best thing that you can be doing. If you work
through the book together, I think it'll help you get
united and it'll take some of the sting out of
this difference that you're experiencing right now. Tracy.

S1 (21:43):
Tracy, thank you so much. Again. Let me recommend the
book to you if I can. Money problems, marriage solutions.
We also have a link to the website for Crown Financial,
and I hope that that is amenable to you and
that you'll look that up. Thanks so much. 87754836758775483675. From
Arizona to Minnesota. That's where Lynn is. Lynn. Thank you

(22:03):
for joining us. Your question please, for Chuck.

S8 (22:06):
Hi, John. And, um, um, I'm calling because I'm thinking
of refinancing. I had I have a 30 year home mortgage.
There's about 16 years left to go on. It expires
in 2032. I have about 60,000 left to go on it.
It's at 6%. Percent. My first question is I have
a hard time comprehending refinancing. When you end up paying

(22:28):
3000 to 3500 closing costs. It just seems like money
you could just take and put it towards your current loan.
The principal. Um, so I want to ask about that.
And then the other thing is I have a home
equity loan that's $10,000, and it's at a variable at 5.99.
Should I bring them together? And the interest rate I'm
looking at right now is 15 years, 3.5%.

S3 (22:54):
Well, Lynn, you ask a very complex question without knowing
the full financial picture. So I'm going to try to
give you a principle based answer if you'll just bear
with me. I think it's a real good idea to
look at consolidation of these two notes. You're paying extraordinarily
high amount of interest on both your home equity loan.
I don't like variable mortgages, so I'd like to see

(23:15):
you get rid of that. I think refinancing the 16
year note down to a 15 year note is a
little questionable to me, but it's at 6% and you
can cut your interest rate almost in half. So, um,
I think if you run the numbers, which I would
recommend that you do, and on our website, there's a
calculator that helps you to determine the overall benefits of

(23:37):
refinancing versus the solution you just proposed, which is to
pay down the principal more aggressively. But I think you should, um,
run the numbers, use the calculator, and let the numbers
speak for themselves, make the best financial decision. But I
just want to ask you a quick question. Are you
able to keep up with the payments right now at
these two, on these two notes at the high interest rate?

S8 (24:00):
I am, but I'm struggling. I don't have very much
to live off of through the month.

S4 (24:07):
Yeah.

S3 (24:08):
Well, it sounds like that, uh, it'll be a good
decision to refinance.

S1 (24:12):
Mhm. And I thank you, Lynn, so much for being
with us this hour. Is flying. We're at the 50
yard line. But it still means we have two more
quarters to go. so I'm excited about that. Chuck Bentley is,
of course, the CEO of Crown Financial Ministries. He joins
us today because he and his wife, Anne, have written
the book Money Problems Marriage Solutions seven Keys to Aligning
Your Finances and Uniting Your Hearts. [phone]. Back after this.

(24:53):
How often do you tune into in the market? Once.
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(25:16):
market with Janet Parshall.

S4 (25:30):
Sitting at the kitchen.

S2 (25:32):
Table.

S4 (25:32):
Monday afternoon.

S9 (25:35):
House is so quiet. I spent the morning looking for
a job, but the job market's pretty tight. And I'm
wondering just what I'm going to do. Some. Long overdue.

(26:03):
Seems like everything comes down to money and love in
my life.

S1 (26:13):
Wow. Again, a perfect song as we talk with Chuck Bentley,
CEO of Crown Financial Ministries. Because, you see, he and
his wife Anne wrote the book Money Problems, Marriage Solutions.
They understand. I think so well that there is this
opportunity to have a real intertwining of hearts and minds
on the subject of money, or to create a bunch

(26:34):
of fireworks on the subject of love and money in
your household. So what they want us to do is
to learn how to align our hearts first. And that
will then, when our hearts are united, align our finances.
I said that backwards, so let me clear it up again.
If we align our finances because our hearts are united,
I think you're going to see a lot of real
relationship building in homes across America. So I love this book.

(26:57):
Money Problems, Marriage Solutions seven Keys to Aligning Your Finances
and Uniting Your Hearts [phone]. Let me go to an
anonymous caller. Anonymous I welcome you. Your question for Chuck Bentley, please.

S10 (27:10):
Hi. That question is, is that. Can you hear me?

S1 (27:14):
I can, loud and clear. Thank you.

S10 (27:16):
Oh, okay. Thank you. I'm sorry. My question is, is that, um,
my husband and I definitely have two different ways of
doing finances. My concern is, is that he's really not financially, uh,
responsible to have businesses here, but he wants to go
and start a business in another country. And he calls

(27:39):
me not a team player. So I just want to
be honorable. How do you handle that?

S1 (27:44):
Mhm.

S3 (27:46):
Yeah. Janet there was a part of her question that
dropped out so that I didn't hear the complete question.
You want to repeat it to me.

S1 (27:53):
I'd be happy to. An anonymous forgive me I hope
I do this correctly. So I honor your question. She
wants to be seen as a team player, and her
husband wants to start a business in another country. Anonymous
has some concerns about that, and she therefore is being
viewed by her husband as not being a team player.
So how do you handle that?

S3 (28:11):
Oh wow. That is so common. And what a great
question and thank you for bringing it up. Here's the
way I would handle it I would. I'm going to
assume that both of you are followers of Christ. If
that's not the case, then it's a little bit more
difficult to bring this all together. But if you're both
the followers of Christ, I would recommend to your husband
that you unite around the idea of seeking each other's counsel.

(28:34):
I'm a big believer that our first source of counsel
should be our spouse before we make any major financial decisions.
Husband needs to talk to wife. Wife needs to talk
to husband. And if you can't get two green lights
on the financial plan at that point, it's probably a non-starter.
It shouldn't be happening because God gives us especially gives

(28:55):
the female intuition. He gives my wife intuition. That would
drive me crazy how she knows something is going to
be a problem before I even explain it to her.
And it sounds like that our caller is those alarm
bells are going off and be very respectful and say,
you know, I think the Lord has given me these
red flags, these this sense of caution for some reason

(29:18):
that I think will help us as a couple, as
a family. Would you mind if we just pause and
we go through this in a little bit more detail
and draw it out of it? Uh, but if you
do it in a way where you're not trying to
shut it down, you're not trying to make him feel
like he was foolish or made a dumb decision. I
think he'll open up with you about it. I can't
help but recommending my book because this is a problem

(29:40):
that we had. I didn't want to listen to my
wife's counsel, and it took some pain for me to
finally come to my senses. And when I did, I
realized she was my very best counselor when it came
to money.

S1 (29:53):
Mm. Wow. Anonymous I hope that is a great encouragement
to you. And I thank you so very, very much
for being with us. [phone]. Chuck in Ohio. I welcome
you and your question, please, for Chuck.

S11 (30:06):
Yeah. Hi, Janet. Um, I have a question about Scripture.
It's in second Corinthians uh, 813. And I'm just wondering,
is this applicable for nowadays? It says for I do
not mean that others should be eased and you burdened,
but by an equality that now at this time your

(30:28):
abundance may supply their lack and their abundance also may
supply your lack. That there may be an equality. As
it is written, he who gathered much had nothing left over.
And he who had gathered little had no lack. And
I'm just wondering, is that speaking to people who are
wealthy and that they should be giving to people who

(30:49):
have less fortune, fortune in the church and, um, should
that be implemented in the local church?

S3 (30:59):
Well, Chuck, I thank you for your question. And I,
I think that there's, uh, obviously, uh, the scripture is
always applicable today. Scripture is relevant for all time. But
where I would say we have to be careful, I
don't think it's a tax plan that's being referred to there.
The scripture doesn't support socialism in any way, shape or form.

(31:20):
The Scripture is very clear that a meritocracy is needed
as a form of governance, but it is also clear
that we have the right and the privilege and the
responsibility to cheerfully and joyfully be generous in every way,
on every occasion. So it's a it's a call to generosity,
and it's a call to examine what God has entrusted

(31:40):
to our care and to look around us, to have
our eyes open and our hearts sensitized to the needs
of others and allow us to individually respond to the
leading of the Holy Spirit. Uh, this happened to me
just last week, Chuck. I was a lady, asked me
a hard question about a painful question about her financial situation.
And the Lord just moved my heart to where I

(32:02):
wanted to do more than give her advice. Are you
following me? It was. It was. He was speaking to
me to say, don't say. Be warned, be fed. Here's
a good principle and go on your way. But, Chuck,
you do something about this. So I ask Anne. She agreed,
and we personally got involved in helping to solve a
financial mess for someone that came to us for advice,

(32:24):
but that was led by the Lord. I can't do
that for all people, Chuck. I wished I could, but
the body of Christ can. The body of Christ can
respond to needs. And I think it is directed through
the local church, uh, so that there's some order to that.
And it also it can be done anonymously, where we
can help others who have less than we do and

(32:45):
meet the needs in the body of Christ. I think
it's the way the body was designed to function.

S1 (32:50):
Um, and I thank you so much, Chuck, for being
a part of the conversation again, we are visiting with
Chuck Bentley, who is the CEO of Crown Financial Ministries.
We have a link directly to their website which is
chock full of excellent material. I strongly recommend you spend
some time there. And also we have a link to
the new book that he and his wife Anne, have
authored called Money Problems Marriage Solutions, and the subtitle is

(33:12):
very important here Seven Keys to Aligning Your Finances and
Uniting Your Hearts. [phone]. So many people online. And let
me go to Stefan who joins us. Stefan. Thank you.
And your question, please.

S12 (33:26):
Hey, Janet. Hey. Thank you so much for taking my call.
I love your show. My question for you, sir, is, um,
that my wife and I have a desire, um, to
put extra money towards our goal. But we also want
to make sure that we have enough in our savings
account to support us. If anything were to happen, uh,
just to have a good, uh, store for emergencies, um,

(33:48):
you know, etc.. So my question is, where's the where's
the balance between extra money towards the principle for a
mortgage or the savings account?

S3 (34:00):
That's a great question, Stefan, and thank you. I'm going
to agree with you. I like Janet Parcells show a
lot too.

S1 (34:06):
So good.

S3 (34:07):
Good comment to open your call. Uh, Stephon, I've laid
out a program called the Money Map. It's a it's
a product that helps give people like yourselves a visual
guide to the next step. Uh, finances can be so confusing,
but if we create linear steps where, you know what
I need to do today and what I need to
do after that step, it makes it so much easier.

(34:30):
And as Janet said, if you go to our website,
you can download that for free. But just to answer
your question directly, your emergency savings account is probably one
of the most important financial goals you can establish right now.
Would you do you would you say you have one
month of your living expenses set aside? Or how many
months are in that account right now?

S12 (34:49):
I'd say I'd say we have about 4 or 5
months of living expenses right now.

S3 (34:56):
Well that's excellent, Stefan, I don't know if you know this,
but if you have more than $1,000 in emergency savings.
You're ahead of 69% of working Americans today. So you're
doing quite well, I would say in today's environment, if
you max that out at six months of your living expenses,
then I would start moving. I wouldn't start building more

(35:16):
emergency funds. I would start attacking, paying down principal on
your mortgage. You also should consider taking some of those
funds and using it as an investment.

S1 (35:27):
Hmm. Excellent, Stefan. Thank you. I hope that's a help.
And please check out the book at our website, Money Problems,
Marriage Solutions, and I thank you so much for being
with us. 87754836758775483675 Maria, welcome. We'll take your question please.

S10 (35:45):
Hi. Retiring soon. I'm wondering what I should do with
my TSP. Should I keep it in my account or
roll it over to a Roth?

S3 (35:57):
Okay. Maria, would you describe to me what you specifically
asked about?

S1 (36:03):
Maria, may I ask a question, please, and forgive me. Chuckie,
hear the music playing. Maria, I don't want you to
get a rushed answer. I know that Chuck has a
lot of wise counsel for you, so if you don't mind,
I'm going to ask you to stand. Hold, Chuck, I'm
going to come right back to you when we return,
so that you can answer the question that Maria wants
to know about her retirement funds. Again, the book is
called Money Problems, Marriage Solutions seven Keys to Aligning Your

(36:24):
Finances and Uniting Your Hearts Back after this.

S9 (36:29):
In my life. In my life.

S1 (37:16):
We're visiting with Chuck Bentley. All these songs about love
and money. Who'd have thought? Yeah, that's right, because it
is a real problem. And so Chuck and Ann Bentley,
husband and wife with real transparency, walk us through this
idea that, listen, when you're unified in Christ, when your
hearts are united as one in him, when the marriage
is the way the marriage is supposed to be. Biblically,

(37:37):
the financial questions have a wonderful way of working themselves out.
So in this book, Chuck and and give us seven
keys to do just that, align our finances and unite
our hearts at the same time. So Maria joins us
from Illinois. And Maria Chuck has a question about her
401 K. She's retiring soon. And so it's that whole
idea of what do I do? Do I keep it
where it is? Do I roll it over to a Roth.
What do I do?

S3 (37:58):
So, Maria, do you know who is managing your 401
K and whether or not you're getting good returns? Do
you know the answer to either one of those questions?

S10 (38:07):
Um. Kind of.

S3 (38:10):
It's, uh, you could.

S10 (38:12):
It's like a C and a F fund. It's through.
I work for the government, I deliver mail.

S3 (38:19):
Yes. And, uh.

S10 (38:21):
Do you.

S3 (38:21):
Know what? You're getting good returns.

S10 (38:24):
Uh, average. I mean, I did that, put into my
401 K so 15 years afterwards, because I didn't know
what 401 K was. So I lost 15 years of 5% match.
But I'm retiring in 22 days. And I want to
know if I should keep it there or should I
take it out because I don't want to be taxed.

S3 (38:47):
Yeah, well, I think it's a very important decision for
you and it's going to impact, uh, obviously everything that
happens from here on out after the next 22 days.
So my best advice is to go to a professional
advisor who doesn't is not trying to sell you something.
And I can refer you to one or, uh, or
we could help you with these calculations, uh, with somebody

(39:09):
in our office. But we need to do some math
calculations for you. We need to give you some unbiased
opinion on what would really be best for you, tax wise. Uh,
it's a complicated answer, and I'm afraid if I give
you just a a quick answer right now, it could,
it could do you some damage. So I want to
avoid that, but just help guide you, uh, to be
sure that you're not taking advantage of in this transition.

S1 (39:31):
Yeah. And, Maria, thank you. By the way, there's a
link to Crown Financial right on our website. So just
remember in the market with Janet Parshall, the books there
as well, money problems marriage Solutions. And it's a wonderful,
wonderful way to start. But before we let you go
through rain, snow, hail and sleet, you delivered our mail.
So thank you. Thank you. And now you get to
step into retirement. So now Maria, you're going to have

(39:53):
some real fun. So thank you for delivering our mail
for years. Greatly appreciate it if I can. I have
so many people online, I just I want to go because, Chuck,
if we don't talk about anything else, I want God's
heart on this. And so the second key is really
helping us grasp what is God's concept of prosperity. And
oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, that's so different from
the world's perspective. Can you talk to us about that?

S3 (40:14):
Well, thank you for going to God's heart on this, Janet,
because that's what it's all about. When we started the program,
I said, what really compelled us is the fact that
there's so much pain in this area, and it's where
Satan attacks and divides families. And even if he doesn't
divide them, which leads to divorce and bankruptcy, he neutralizes them.
And when you're neutralized, you're not really thriving and fulfilling

(40:36):
God's purpose for your life. And one of the areas
where we were divided was on different definitions of prosperity.
My definition was external. It meant, uh, you know, my
responsibility at work. It meant how much I was being paid,
how much we had in the bank, our net worth calculation,
all of that was external. But for Anne it was
radically different. It was internal. It was what was how

(41:00):
what was happening at our with our family. How were
we doing as husband and wife? How I doing as
a father? And so we didn't even have the same
bull's eye. We didn't even have the same target. And
when we came upon Jeremiah 29, we realized that God
laid out a plan and he told us what prosperity
really is. He said that you're to build a house

(41:20):
and settle down. Meaning you have to have a place
to live. You're to plant a garden and eat from
that garden, meaning you have to have an income where
you can support your family. Third is you marry, you
have children, you increase, you do not decrease. God is
for being fruitful and multiplying. You help your children marry.
You seek the peace and prosperity of the city where
you live. Then he says in verse 29, Jeremiah 29

(41:44):
verse 11, he says, because I know the plans I
have for you. I have a plan to prosper you,
a plan to give you a hope in the future.
And that comes when two things that you're married and
that you have a family. And when we agreed that
that was God's definition of prosperity, it brought us into alignment.
I wasn't being pulled with my heart and mind outside

(42:04):
the home. We were pulled back into our home. And
that's where our prosperity, that's where our lasting treasures would
be found. And that's God's definition of prospering.

S1 (42:15):
Yeah, well, thank you for that, Chuck. Jennifer, thank you
for posting your question on my Facebook page in the
market with Janet Parshall. And this is, uh, this is
a touchy one, Chuck. What do you do? She says
if you're married, it's your second marriage and you have
two children, but your spouse does not. We don't share
the expenses, and sometimes it feels more like we're business
partners than husband and wife. Can you shed any light

(42:37):
on that?

S3 (42:38):
Yeah, I can shed a lot of light on that, Jennifer.
It's a painful way to live. And I think, quite frankly,
it's far riskier to live that way as business partners
than it is to go all in and unite as
God intended, he said. Two are to become as one.
And that is far more than a physical, uh, relationship.
It means that you have complete trust in one another.

(43:01):
You have each other's mind. There's porosity in an exchange
between you at the soulish level. There's absolute trust. And
many times, that does not happen until you trust each
other with finances. And so I would recommend that you
get the book and that you work through it. And
you ask your husband to work through it, and you
just appeal to him and say, I want our relationship

(43:24):
to be so strong that Satan can't divide us at
any level. And let's start with our finances. Let's get
out of this partnership mode, and let's get into this
blending mode where we are absolutely as one. Uh, and,
you know, I think one in this context means like
t in a, in in water, there's such a unity

(43:45):
that it cannot be separated. And that's what I've written
the book for, so that couples like yourself who feel
this distance, who feel this separation over this very key issue,
will actually come together, get your hearts united, make plans together,
and then you'll begin to flourish. And I'll just add
one more little advertisement for the book. Our financial progress

(44:07):
soared once we did this. It changed everything for us.

S13 (44:12):
Wow. Wow.

S1 (44:13):
Oh, Chuck, what a note to end on exclamation point.
Money problems, marriage solutions. Seven keys to aligning your finances
and uniting your hearts. Do you get where the thrust
of this is? It's not so much the wallet as
it is the heart and it follows through, does it not?
The Bible says where your treasure is, there's your heart also.
So there is this inexorable connection. I've got a link

(44:34):
to Crown Financial. Check it out. They are fabulous. And
there's the book as well at In the Market with
Janet Parshall. Thank you, my friends. We'll see you next time.