July 28, 2025 • 44 mins
In today’s culture of gender confusion, many children struggle with understanding their identity. Dr Jeff Myers and Dr. Kathy Koch will provide us with a clear and compassionate framework to help our children confidently embrace the unique design God has for them. Our guests are experts in the Christian worldview and child development, and they will help us discover the tools to instill truth, hope, and confidence while also navigating the complexities of gender ideology.
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Episode Transcript
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S1 (00:00):
Hi friend, thank you so much for downloading this podcast
and I truly hope you hear something that encourages edifies, equips, enlightens,
and gently but consistently pushes you out there into the
marketplace of ideas. But before you start to listen and
before you go to the marketplace, let me just tell
you about this month's truth tool. And it is a
perfect fit for both the marketplace and getting out there.
It's Ray Comfort's book. Why? Jesus? If you listen to
(00:22):
the broadcast with any regularity, you know we love Ray.
He is bold, unashamed of the gospel. And yet in
such a winsome way, he delivers a truth narrative to
the man in the street, so to speak. He's written
the book Why Jesus? To Teach You How to Walk Through,
by examples and through real conversations he's had on how
to share the gospel in exactly the same way. Listen,
(00:43):
we're called to go and tell. It's not an opt in,
opt out clause. That's where we're supposed to go. And
in truth, how can we keep this good news to ourselves?
So I want you to have Why Jesus as this
month's truth tool. So you'll get some fire in your
bones about going out and sharing the good News of
the gospel of Jesus Christ. We're listener supported radio. My
truths tools are a way of saying thank you. When
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(01:03):
going financially. Just call 877 Janet 58. That's 877 Janet
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(01:25):
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Whether you'll be a partial partner or just a one
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Jesus 877, Janet 58 or online at In the Market
(01:45):
with Janet Parshall. Now please enjoy the broadcast.
S2 (01:51):
Here are some of the news headlines we're watching.
S3 (01:53):
The conference was over. The president won a pledge.
S4 (01:55):
Americans worshiping government over God.
S5 (01:57):
Extremely rare safety move by a major 17 years.
S4 (02:01):
The Palestinians and the Israelis negotiated a truce.
S5 (02:18):
Hi, friends.
S1 (02:19):
Welcome to In the Market with Janet Parshall. Thank you
in advance for spending the hour with us. My fervent
prayer is that by the time this hour is over,
you're encouraged, you're edified, you're equipped, you're enlightened, and you've
been gently but lovingly nudged out there into the marketplace
of ideas. I didn't tell you to go there. Jesus.
Did you want to check John 17? There's your marching orders,
and I will tell you that when we get out
(02:40):
into the marketplace, the purpose is to do a multiplicity
of things. Number one, to better contend for the faith,
to be prepared to give a reason for that hope
that resides within you, to let your light so shine
before men. And when you spend enough time in the marketplace,
you begin to discover what her shabby ideas. What? Her
What are truthful ideas? What is measured by the straight
stick of truth, God's word and what is not? And
(03:01):
we think to ourselves it's about our influencing the marketplace
and being good Bereans and testing all things is what
we talk about over and over and over again in
this program. Did you ever stop and think, though, that
the marketplace also has an impact on our kids? And
let me give you an example. When you read, one
of my favorite verses is found in Colossians, where it
tells us to be careful that there is a war
out there, a battle for the mind and the heart.
(03:22):
And how do I know that? Well, because the words
of Scripture frame this as a battle, that we have
to be careful that we're not taken captive a prisoner
of war, if you will, by vain and hollow philosophies
predicated on this world rather than on the Word of God. Now,
if that happens to us, does it not likewise happen
to our kids? Yes, 14 exclamation points, particularly if your
child is out there in a public school or just
(03:43):
in the culture at all. They're going to hear all
kinds of vain and hollow philosophies. And if we don't
teach them what they believe and why, they can believe it,
why they should believe it. How to practice applied Christianity
with a solid biblical worldview when they're young. Guess what
happens when they get older? Yeah, exactly. And if we
didn't get that growing up, it's why some of us
might be struggling right now when we're in the marketplace
(04:05):
of ideas. So let me take one issue just as
an example. What about this idea of transgenderism? Now, let
me just start by laying out the the facts here.
Transgenderism isn't a diagnosis, it's an ideology. Okay. It is
an ideology. Gender dysphoria, that's a diagnosis. And there are
very specifics about that that can be found in the
Bible of psychology, the DSM. But the reality is that
(04:26):
what we're seeing in classrooms, in media and in educational
policy is about the ideology. Vain and hollow philosophies predicated
in this world, rather than on the Word of God
that are being promoted through all of those outlets. What
happens to our poor kids? They're being bombarded about this
all the time. Why is it that in one school
district in America, did they see the issue of gender dysphoria,
(04:48):
although they didn't call it that, they called it transgenderism.
They have to. It's an ideology. They're not psychologists. These
are classroom teachers. Great respect for them, but they don't
have a PhD in clinical psychology. But why did we
see this cultural contagion impact so many kids to the
point where there is a are you ready for this figure?
It's almost sounds made up a 4,000% uptick in the
numbers of kids who said, I'm in the wrong body?
(05:09):
Come on, that's a social contagion. In biblical terms, that's
a vain and hollow philosophy that's swirling around the hearts
and minds of kids. So it raises a question can we,
in fact, raise gender confident kids? My two guests say
absolutely exclamation point, and together they've written a book that
does just that. There are the doctors not in the
house today. The doctors are in the house. Doctor Jeff Myers,
(05:31):
doctor Kathy Cook are with me. Jeff is the president
of Summit Ministries, and he's a recognized expert in worldview
training for young people. His leadership has transformed summit into
a global movement, equipping the next generation to champion a
biblical worldview. He's written a whole boatload of books. Kathy
is the founder and CEO of Celebrate Kids Incorporated, and
she's a respected voice on child development and biblical parenting.
(05:53):
She's a sought after speaker and author, and she has
written eight books. She equips parents and educators with practical,
faith based strategies so kids have character, confidence, and a
convinced identity in Jesus Christ. And at its core, this
whole idea is really about identity. So how do we
raise gender confident kids? Well, it really works out well
because you see, once upon a time in a land far,
(06:14):
far away, Jeff Myers wanted to write a book about this,
and Kathy Cook wanted to write a book about this.
And they got Ahold of each other and said, I know,
why don't we write a book about this together? Which
is why we have not one but two doctors in
the house today. So welcome to both of you. I'm
thrilled that you're here, Jeff. There's so much of a
worldview aspect of this, is there not surrounding this issue?
S6 (06:35):
There's no question, Janet, as you mentioned, a 4,000% increase.
There's something going on that's a worldview, that's a new
religion that is being foisted on the American people. And,
you know, partly is because of sin. And we are
ignorant of God's best. We all know that. But there
is an ideology, as you said, that's manipulating language. It
has captured the public schools dominantly. Half of the schools
(06:58):
in the United States are committed to gender ideology, not
because the teachers like it. They don't. Two thirds say
it's inappropriate. Only 4% of teachers say that it's positive.
But it's still there. It's a dominant ideology. And then
you have this twisted approach to mental health that comes
out of it, leading to a medical establishment that's figured
out how to make a lot of money off of it.
(07:19):
It is a perfect storm that is hurting our kids
in every imaginable way.
S1 (07:23):
Yeah, absolutely. Kathy, let me turn to you as an
expert in child development. This is where my heart breaks.
I have followed the Cass Review in the UK very
thoroughly longitudinal study. I think it's going to be the
seminal study on this. And what they discovered is the
same thing that Paul McHugh, who used to do sex
transition surgeries at Johns Hopkins but doesn't do it anymore.
What they discovered is that very often with these kids,
(07:45):
there is a cluster of mental health issues that either
have not been identified or have not been treated. And
very often what CAS found was that this idea that
what do you want? And this is what one of
this is one of the cudgels the advocates use. What
do you want, a dead son or alive daughter intimating
suicidal ideation if you don't eradicate the identity crisis. What
we found with the CAS report is after the fact.
(08:06):
Not only did it not eradicate actually actually suicidal ideations
went up after the surgery because guess what? It was
a hole in the heart. It wasn't being caught in
the wrong body. From your vantage point, as somebody who
cares about child development, this has to be very scary
because this is bad medicine all the way around it.
S7 (08:23):
So is man. I love the way you just go
right to it. Janet. Like you don't mince words at all.
What a joy to be with you. Um, that's one
of the reasons that Doctor Jeff and I wrote the book.
We're really concerned that there are children and young adults
who have legitimate mental health issues of stress, anxiety, depression.
Perhaps they've been abused. They don't. They don't know what's
going on. And they think that, oh, I'll just change
(08:43):
my gender. Like, that sounds so simple. And they assume
that that will take care of all of the issues.
But as you pointed out, it does not take care
of the issues. And now we have a misdiagnosed or
an underdiagnosed or an accurately diagnosed mental health issue not
being treated, and now it's just going to ramp up
and get worse. And then you add to that the
physical trauma that happens to the body when you begin
(09:05):
to make these medical transitions, it's just not good for
them at all. And the suicide rate is much higher.
I think it's 12 years after they begin to medically transition.
That is the highest point of suicide because it doesn't work.
S1 (09:18):
Right at its core. This is an identity issue. It's
a compassion issue. It's it's a mental health issue. It's
so many things. And here's what I love about this book.
And it's the first one I've seen like this. And
believe me, I got stacks and stacks of books. My
daughter deals with this in Washington, DC on public policy
every single day of the week. Craig has filed legal
briefs before the Supreme Court on this issue. This is
an issue that sits at the dinner table at the
(09:39):
partial household, but I have not yet seen a book
that is a preemptive strike. Doctors Jeff Myers and Kathy
Cook wrote the book to teach you now so that
your child will be confident, know who they are back
after this. In today's world, people are more confused than
ever about truth and meaning. That's why I've chosen Why
(10:01):
Jesus by Ray comfort as this month's truth tool. Discover
why Jesus is the only path to everlasting life, and
learn how to confidently share that hope with others. As
for your copy of Why Jesus, when you give a
gift of any amount to in the market, call 877
Janet 58. That's 877 Janet 58 or go to in
the market with Janet Parshall. Doctor Jeff Myers, Doctor Kathy
(10:24):
Cook together wrote a book that I think every parent
should have in their household. It's called Raising Gender Confident
Kids Helping Kids Embrace their God given design. And by
the way, one of the things that these two wonderful
thinkers did in their book is they put all kinds
of ways for you to get extra resources. So there's
starter questions. There's QR codes. There's all kinds of resources.
(10:45):
So it's more than a book. It's like a portal
into a library. So it's a very important book. And
if you don't want your child, by the way, to
be taken captive by this, and let me tell you,
Satan doesn't take a neutral posture on this by any
stretch of the imagination. He wants to take Imago Day,
the image of God in your child, and radically redefine
it any way he can. And so this preemptive strike,
(11:06):
which is what this book is, is to teach your
kids so they'll be confident in who they are in
Jesus Christ and in how he made him or her. So, Jeff,
let me start with you. And by the way, for
the two of you, I know how writing books with
a co-author works. If I ask a question and I
ask it of you, Jeff. And it was Kathy who
wrote it. Kathy, I ask you, and it's Jeff. Please
forgive who I directed to jump in because I don't
(11:26):
know who wrote what part. And either one of you
is going to be an expert in some areas, so
please do that. So let me start, Jeff, presumably with you,
which is the idea because it's really kind of a
worldview question. Okay, so here is this issue I believe
and have written and spoken on the fact that I
think this is a cultural tsunami like none other we've
seen for at least a decade. It is the tip
of the spear against the church, and it is the
(11:47):
one that really separates the men from the boys and
those who are going to say, yes, Lord, and those
who are going to cave to culture. I mean, the
pronoun issue alone is exemplary, exemplary of that. So why
engage and how do we engage on this issue?
S6 (12:01):
Well, I think we have to engage for two key reasons.
First of all, God wants us to engage on issues
like this. Scripture is quite clear from the very beginning.
God made us in his image and he made us
male and female. Those are the two types of humans,
and Christians need to be willing to stand on that
in spite of culture's confusion. The second thing is it's
simply biological reality. There are 6500 biological differences between boys
(12:26):
and girls. Confusing them about their social identity is simply wrong,
and it is all based on on one core concept
that Cathy and I identified, which is called the gender spectrum.
It says that you have male extreme males on one end,
extreme females on the other. You have. In other words,
you have G.I. Joe on one end, you have Barbie
on the other. And since none of us are either
(12:47):
of those, then we're all non-binary. So it's a way
of making sure 100% of the population is considered LGBTQ.
It's part of the agenda. And that that idea based
on cultural stereotypes is one of the things we want
to help parents learn to overcome. And I thank you
for mentioning the other resources that go along with the book.
(13:08):
But I should mention this now. We want to give
this book to everybody who's on the show that's been
made possible. If you just go to gender confident.com, you
can get your copy as our gift because we really
want this message message to get out. Janet. And we
love and respect everything that you do.
S1 (13:26):
Thank you for that. So Cathy, I find this interesting
because this really is you two are the perfect people
to write this, because this is as much a biblical
worldview as it is a child development issue. So why
do kids become prey to this? I know that everybody
wants to be accepted, and particularly as we're seeing young
kids growing up, they want to be part of that
peer group, part of the pack. Right? They want to
belong with their group. And if all of a sudden
(13:48):
their teachers, their friends are starting to talk about this issue,
they I can understand where a whole journey of self
questioning takes place. But what are the sand traps in
terms of the development for kids that we need to
know so they don't fall into this idea about being
confused about their gender?
S7 (14:04):
Right. Excellent question. It is, for so many of them
a belonging issue. They're craving, um, intimacy. They're they're craving
to be known. And we all want to be known
because God creates us and knows us. And so we're
drawn to the people who know us and the LGBTQ community,
the those who believe that you can change your gender.
They're very good at lying. They're very good at manipulating.
(14:26):
They're very good at saying, hey, come over here and
I'll know you, and I'll help you be known and
I'll make you happy. And so we have got to
do a better job of teaching our kids truth. Obviously,
one of the things that we write about in the
book that I think is potentially really helpful is the
idea of an identity dysphoria in general. We have kids
who are confused about every part of their identity, not
just gender. Gender identity confusion is a subset of the
(14:49):
general reality that we don't know our kids. We're not
spending time with our kids, our own parents. And I
don't you know, I don't mean this to slam anybody.
And I know that your listeners are mature and dedicated
to the family and to the the biblical mandate to
know them and to raise them up in the fear
and admonition of the Lord. And yet, when I interviewed children,
many of them don't feel known by their own parents
(15:09):
and grandparents or their older siblings. So then they're craving again.
They want to be known. And the unfortunately, the wrong
community is speaking loudly. I think the liar is loud today.
The liar is prevalent. So we've got to get better
at helping them know in general who they are and
presenting gender is good. One of the things that Jeff
and I, I think did well in the book was
to talk about respect for both genders, respect your own gender,
(15:32):
and trust God as creator in choosing it for you,
and then respect the other gender as well.
S1 (15:38):
Yeah, in fact, you have a section about boys, you
have a section about girls, and then you have a
section about boys and girls getting along together. So I
think that was wonderful, the way you laid all of
that out. Jeff, let me ask you this, because being
here as a war correspondent in Babylon, I watched trends
and I see things come and go. I flew back
into DC in 93 after giving a speech, didn't have
(15:58):
a clue that the day I landed was the day
that they had a huge gay pride march going down
the main street in Washington, DC and they handed out flyers.
I got one because they were telling what their platform
was going to be for the next several years, and
I shook my head, going, not in a million years
they have exceeded everything on that list. So it raises
an interesting question, Jeff. Why now? I mean, this idea
(16:19):
of struggling with your identity has happened since you walked
out of the garden. We live east of Eden. This
is part of the human condition, I get that, but
why the radical ascendency of this ideology now.
S6 (16:30):
Janet, one of the things you talked about in your
show is the postmodern impulse in modern culture. And in
order for postmodernism to succeed, it has to overthrow all truth.
And what's the one truth that everybody in the world
knows to be? Certainly true. I mean, we might not
understand exactly what the finer points of justice are, or
we might not know what liberty is or freedom, but
(16:52):
we all know what male or female would be. And
if we if that agenda can attack that, then it's
got the minds and hearts of the rising generation forever.
S1 (17:02):
Yeah. Absolutely. Agree. Wow. What a treat to have Doctor
Jeff Myers and Doctor Kathy Cook at the same time.
By the way, on the program, because they co-authored the
book Raising Gender Confident Kids Helping Kids embrace their God
given Design. By the way, I have a link to
summit because Jeff obviously is the president of Summit Ministries,
and Kathy is the founder and president of Celebrate Kids.
(17:23):
So under their bios on the information page, I have
a direct link to their ministry so you can learn more.
And on the right hand side there's the book. So
check it out. We've got more to talk about on
this crucial topic. Moms and dads. Stick around back after this.
S5 (17:52):
We are visiting.
S1 (17:53):
With Doctor Jeff Myers, President of Summit Ministries, and Doctor
Kathy Cook, founder and CEO of Celebrate Kids. It's a
joy to talk to both of them individually, but even
more delightful when they come together because they've co-authored the
book Raising Gender Confident Kids Helping Kids Embrace their God
given Design. Kathy, this is clearly a child development issue,
so let me pitch it to you if I can.
(18:13):
You have an entire chapter called Resolving Identity Dysphoria. I
love that phrase, by the way. It's so much better
than saying gender dysphoria. And as you say, that's just
one strata of the bigger picture of identity dysphoria. But
there are five core needs that every single child has.
What are they. And again tie this back, if you would,
to the vulnerability to this particular issue about gender identity.
S7 (18:36):
Right. We have a need for security which is who
can I trust. So we need to be available to
our children. We need to be truth talkers and wisdom
walkers and answer their questions and hear their heart cries
and you know, not panic, but be available to tell
them the truth. Teach them the truth. Open the Bible.
Get them in touch with others who also would proclaim
that God's ways are the best ways. And if you
(18:57):
don't know him yet, you can know him personally. So
we have a need for security. Everyone has that, um,
children crave it. That's why they will always be drawn
to the parent who is, or the adult who is
most available to them. Then we have a need for identity.
So we have an identity crisis obviously, in our culture,
because we have a security crisis. If there's no security,
then kids don't know who to talk to for the truth.
(19:17):
And so again, let's let's tell the truth. Let's apologize.
Let's ask be forgiven. Let's put them in touch with
others who can be wisdom for them, so that when
we get to the question of identity. Who am I?
We can. We can again teach them truth from the
Scripture and from what we know about them to be true.
Don't let them live in the past. Don't let them
live only into the future dreams. But make sure that
(19:38):
they're living today. Do they know their strengths and have
we helped them identify that their strengths are from God?
Ephesians 210 giftings and that the longer they live, the
more it'll make sense to them that they've been given
the gifts they've been given. And then we have belonging. Janet,
this need that they have for connection comes from security
and identity. If children don't know who they can trust
and they don't know who they are, they will not
(20:00):
know who to hang with or the people they hang
with will manipulate them into believing that they are who
they actually are not. So we must answer the questions
about who is trustworthy and who are you. And therefore,
here are the people groups who you might want to
belong to, whether it be band or drama, or the
youth group worship team. Or perhaps you could be the
greatest babysitter in the, you know, in the neighborhood. And
(20:22):
that's how you meet some of your belonging needs. Then
we have purpose. Why am I alive? The cry of
every person is to believe that they were created on purpose,
for purpose, with a purpose for right now. I love
talking to young people. About what? Your Esther moment. Have
you already had it? What other ones can you have?
Why were you created? And if we don't have people
to serve and we don't know who we are and
(20:43):
we don't have anyone we can trust, will guide us
into righteousness, then we don't believe we were created on purpose.
We think that God made mistakes and we can talk
with you about that on the show today if you
want about that. That dangerous reality that so many people
are stuck in. And then we get to competence. Janet,
what do I do? Well, and again, we all need
to be able to do things well, but it comes
(21:04):
from purpose. If children don't know why they're alive, they
don't think they need to do anything well. And now
we have apathy, and now we're quickly manipulated again into
becoming who we were not designed to be. It's easier
to receive the lie and perceive it as truth when
you're weak and when you're. You're on sinking sand here.
So it starts with security, so that everyone who's listening,
(21:24):
who's a truth talker, who is responsible and dependable and
has to be forgiven and remembers to pick up their
kids on time, you know, and and says, no, like,
weak parenting is one of the reasons we're in this issue.
Not weak parents, but weak parenting where we're afraid to
say no for fear that they're going to be mad
or they won't be our friend. Well, I'm going to
say let them be mad for a while, because we
(21:47):
got to teach them the truth. And the truth is,
that is a really foolish idea. So the answer is no.
You know, and then we talk and we look for
opportunities to talk more about it. But that's a quick
overview of the five that are in a particular order
that's really important. And um, if if there's confusion in
one of them, there's probably confusion in the others. And
but clarity is possible. We wrote this book because confusion
(22:07):
is dangerous. We don't think clearly when we're confused, but
clarity is possible.
S1 (22:12):
Wow. Amen. So first, Peter says we're supposed to gird
up the loins of our minds. So I heard you talking.
And I know that there have to be other people
in the audience thinking the same thing when you just
talked about those needs in that order. It was brilliant.
And I bet a lot of people thought, okay, so
how does this different from Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right.
So if you go up his pyramid at the top,
(22:33):
you've got competence. What do I do? Well, at the
top of his is self-actualization. That's about a chasm as
big as the Grand Canyon, as far as I can see.
S7 (22:43):
That's great. Yeah. Not possible. Right.
S1 (22:45):
Exactly, exactly. So tell me how the the biblical worldview
differs from Maslow on this.
S7 (22:51):
Right. Well, he starts with safety and it's not irrelevant,
you know, do I have food and shelter and but
it's security. It's people. You know, Jesus meets our needs.
God meets our need. The Holy Spirit meets our need.
It's people who meet our need. It's not things. We
can't do it on our own. It's. It's the one
who created us for such a time as this that's
going to be the one to fulfill us. And it's
the connection of the five. I think what God taught me,
(23:13):
and I'm so grateful, is that they're all connected. In fact,
back to security. Who can I trust? It links to
the very top of the pyramid, which is competent. If
I'm the parent who teaches a kid how to be
well and do well, then they trust me because I've
developed their competence and now they come to me when
they have a question and they won't go to Siri
and they won't go to some internet website that's got
(23:34):
a dangerous ideology hidden within its framework that we don't
even know. Is there?
S1 (23:39):
Mm. Wow. I tell you, that's so very, very important.
So what happens, Jeff, let me ask you, when in fact,
what the end of each chapter. I'm glad I thought
of this. I want to point this out. Each of
you offer your perspective, which I think was brilliant. So
we've got the Doctor Jeff perspective, and then we've got
the doctor Kathy perspective. So let me ask you this question.
You hear the music on the other side of the break,
I'll take the answer. So when we as parents recognize
(24:02):
these five needs, and we, as Kathy just pointed out,
understand the intersectionality of all of these five, how one
really has an impact on the other. Why does this
end up somehow helping our child not only understand who
they are, but how does it end up glorifying God?
Let me get the answer to that on the break.
The name of the book is called Raising Gender Confident
(24:22):
Kids Helping Kids Embrace Their God Given Design, co-authored by
our two guests, Doctor Jeff Myers, Doctor Kathy Cook, back
after this. What's the goal of in the market? I'll
(24:55):
tell you in the market equips men and women to
think critically and act biblically. Why do we do this?
So that we can be confident when speaking the truth
in a confused culture? Are you willing to stand with me?
Become a partial partner today, and enjoy exclusive benefits only
my partners receive while making an impact for the Kingdom.
Call 877 Janet, 58 or go online to in the
market with Janet Parshall. We have the privilege of spending
(25:20):
the hour with not one but two doctors. One doctor,
Kathy Cook, the founder and president of Celebrate Kids, a
prolific author, by the way, and someone who really understands
child development, and also Doctor Jeff Myers, who is the
president of Summit Ministries. And likewise, he has written a
whole bunch of books. But what's unique is that the
two of them together have written an excellent and timely
book called Raising Gender Confident Kids Helping Kids Embrace Their
(25:42):
God given Design. So, Jeff, you tell the story about
how you loved to tour factories with your sons and
you talk about welding. So the question I asked you
before the break was Kathy had just talked about these
five core needs that every single child has, and there
is an interconnection there. And that caused you to talk
about welding. What's the connection?
S6 (26:01):
Well, raising boys is is tricky. You always have to
keep them busy. That was what I found out. Just
keep them busy, wear them out every day. And so
I would take them to factories. And one thing we learned,
we went to a factory where they were welding tanker
trucks like the ones that carry milk or gasoline on
the highway. And the the director there took us into
a couple of the tanks and said, look at these
(26:22):
welds right here, this weld. And he showed it to
us and it was lumpy. It was it was safe.
It was a good weld, but it was all lumpy.
It didn't look very good. He said. This mold is
made by a guy who does this as his job.
And then he showed us another weld. Perfectly smooth, beautifully done.
And he said, this is a weld made by a
guy who sees his welding as an art. He sees
(26:43):
it as his calling. And now this was inside of
a tank. As soon as those tanks were put together,
no human eye would ever see those welds again. They
were both safe, but one was done with the spirit
of excellence and the other wasn't. God has designed us
as males and females to pursue excellence in a particular way.
It's what makes sense of what it means to be
(27:05):
a father, or a mother, or a sister, or a
brother or a son or daughter, because God is our father.
And it also enables us to to live and grow
with character. One of the things Doctor Kathy often says,
which I appreciate so much, is that we've got to
raise a generation that becomes comfortable being uncomfortable. When when
transgender activists say, well, you feel uncomfortable in your body
(27:27):
when you're going through adolescence, well, yeah. So has every
single human being who has ever lived. Right. It is
not a call that you are born in the wrong body.
But that's exactly the message that kids are getting. We
have some friends. Their daughter came home at the end
of last school year and said, well, I'm the only
boy left in my class. What do you mean? She
said every other girl in the class has now become
(27:48):
a boy. The entire class had been convinced that they
were transgender. Obviously, the parents wisely took the child and
put them in a different school. But you understand this
is a constant struggle. Every single person who's listening right
now either faces this in their own family, with their
children or grandchildren. I met one grandma, she said. I've
got 13 grandkids, five identify as transgender or your children
(28:11):
have somebody they know. So this is ever present for us,
and that's why we want everybody to have a free
copy of the Raising Gender Confident Kids book. Who's listening today?
S1 (28:21):
Well, you talk about having a biblical worldview actually strengthens
someone's gender confidence. What's the connection?
S6 (28:29):
Well, if you have a biblical worldview, then you trust
that God actually designed you on purpose and that the
things you go through, for better or for worse, are
all part of him developing you to become more like Jesus.
Once you take that on as your core identity, you
see your core identity in Jesus rather than in your sexuality,
(28:49):
or how others perceive you, or your popularity or your
athletic ability. Then you have a comfort that lasts your
entire life, not just during a particular season when you
might be viewed by those who are around you as
being better at one particular thing or another.
S1 (29:06):
Mm. Wow. So again, that idea of being concretized in
a worldview, knowing what we believe and why we believe it.
This goes back to something you said earlier, and I'm
glad that you raised it, which is what we often
hear is that God, whether it's the trans issue or
just same sex attraction. God doesn't make mistakes. He made
me this way. Well, that stands in stark opposition to
(29:28):
the declaration in God's Word that male and female, he
created them both. We don't read stories of making mistakes
or of anyone changing their gender. You'll hear the argument
of the eunuch. That's a whole different. That's a strawman argument.
So we push that aside. But this idea about God
making mistakes, how do we respond to that? Because our
kids are going to hear that in the marketplace. How
do we refute that?
S7 (29:48):
Yeah. He doesn't. We go to Scripture, we refute the
lie with the scripture, and he's a good creator. And
it's interesting because we don't think he's a good creator.
Then everything is at question. If we give up Genesis 127,
the first book of the first chapter, and the first
book of the Bible, we're in big trouble. So we
talk about it's okay. Like my height when I was
a little kid, I didn't like my height. I'm six
(30:09):
one right now. For those of you who are listening
who don't know me, I'm six one. I was tall
as a kid. I didn't like it. I said to
my mom, I don't want to be tall anymore. And
I'm so grateful. She didn't think about cutting six inches
off between my knee and my ankle. I mean, it
wasn't even a possibility back then. They knew my mom
and dad knew that they had a daughter with a
perceived problem that could be changed. I was clumsy and
(30:31):
a perceived problem that could not be changed. I was
going to be tall, so they worked to change my attitude.
And we have got to come alongside of our children
and our teens and our young adults and work with
them to change their attitude toward themselves as they declare
through their behavior that God has been good to me.
And I say it all the time, live long and
be strong and find out why you are the who
(30:51):
you are. I didn't know that my height would be
an advantage when I was little, but now it's one
of my greatest advantages. Now you can be petite and
be a public speaker. Certainly you can be. But because
of my bad back, I sit on a stool when
I speak. But because I'm six one, everyone can see me.
So you know what, Janet? Part of it is, do
we model joy in God's creative intent? And do we
(31:12):
talk about God is creator and we have been created?
Don't let your kids think that they were just spaghetti
thrown against the wall. And what sticks stuck. No, you
were you were wanted as you are, warts and all.
And I just spoke to some summit students just last night.
I love being on the faculty of Doctor Jess Ministry.
And I said, you know, Ephesians 210 declares that we're
(31:33):
gifted in advance, that we would walk in those gifts.
And I think God also chooses the challenges that we're
going to walk through because they mature us and they
strengthen us. That's what the Scripture teaches. When we walk
through valleys, we find endurance and hope and strength, and
that's part of part of God's plan. So let's walk
with our kids.
S1 (31:50):
Yeah. Amen and amen. So, Jeff, you write in the
book that there are some biblical truths that we as
moms and dads can use to refute some of the
lies about gender. I bet every person within the sound
of our voices would love to know that. So where
do we turn in Scripture to refute these arguments?
S6 (32:04):
Well, you begin with Genesis chapter one. The very first
thing we know about human beings after God made them
is that he made them male or female. And when
you look at Genesis chapter two and you look at
the creation of the woman, you also see that God
made the man and then made the woman to be
alongside of him to the word literally means in your face.
(32:25):
And it it it's it's okay. Here is your counterpart
for the two of you are going to steward the world.
Every time you see things about character in Scripture, those
are all going to refer to how we as males
and females are are designed. And then I think you
I look at the Old Testament, so much of the
(32:46):
Old Testament law, which I think people skip over that
when they read, but it's all about protecting women and children.
It elevates males and females as important in the eyes
of God and in society. In the New Testament, it's
the same thing that God has given us. This picture
of marriage, uh, that is the vision of Christ and
the church. And so the all the context of Scripture,
(33:07):
in every single aspect is that we've been given to
design by God. And if we carefully steward it, then
we can bring blessing and flourishing to the world around us.
And if I could say anything to a parent of
a child who's struggling with this right now, walk alongside
of that child to help them find a way that
they can contribute. When Doctor Cathy was talking about competence,
(33:29):
I wanted to stand up and shout because that is
so critical. I know it's true for boys, but I
think it's true for girls as well. If you can
find something that returns energy to you and makes you
feel more alive, where you know that what you're doing
makes a difference, then the voices of culture recede into
the background and the voice of God gets louder.
S1 (33:50):
Well, let me dig into this because I think it's
so important. Cathy, what Jeff just said is very interesting.
So we've had this conversation talking about transgenderism and ideology
is obviously the topic du jour in the culture at large.
But really, when you stop and think about it, what
you're offering is an antithetical message to this, which is
discovering who you are. Not that God make mistakes because
(34:10):
he doesn't, but exactly who you are, how God made you,
and what God wants you to do. Now that puts
a bounce in anybody's step, I would think, and a
twinkle in their eye, to think that the God of
all creation, what has plans for me, has made me
a certain way so that I can do something for
him that'll get you out of bed in the morning.
S7 (34:27):
Yes, I agree with you. And one of the things
that we write about in the book are be careful
of the stereotypes, you know, like boys think they shouldn't
like cooking in the kitchen with mom. Well, that's a lie.
Look at any of the cooking shows on TV. Most
of the judges and the chefs are men. You know,
a girl can like changing the oil in the truck
with dad, and a boy can, like watching musicals with grandma.
(34:48):
And a girl can, like watching westerns with grandpa. And
women can have low voices, and men can be petite.
I mean, it's just a lie from the devil that
there's a way to be this gender. We've got to
open that up and and make sure that they understand
again that God chose it for them. And can they
trust him? Well, we've we've got to disciple our children, Janet.
(35:09):
We have to disciple our children to believe the Scripture
is true. We talk about that in the book, that
God is a good creator, that he's intentional and strategic
and doesn't make mistakes. And he has a plan for
our lives, and he orders our steps and we choose
to trust, you know, and as Jeff said before, we've
all had a season of being uncomfortable. We can we
can walk through that and then watch for for God's
(35:31):
answers to show up and everything changes. It's just beautiful.
S1 (35:35):
Yeah. Exactly right. But it's changing the focus, is it not?
And it's a reminder. Just big picture here. Wide angle
lens of a parent that you you can't be in absentia.
There is a vacant hole in your heart, in the
child's heart. And the world isn't going to sit passively
by it will rush in to fill it with its
world view as much as it possibly can. I've often said,
(35:56):
if Mom and Dad don't get there first, trust me,
the world will. So you can't. This is not an
opt out clause. You know you can get opt out
programs in school. Mom and dad, you can't opt out.
This one. This is your primary responsibility, is looking well
to the ways of your household, as Scripture says. And
I have to tell you, I want to tell you,
being in Washington, DC, a town full of bureaucrats, you
are the best Department of Health, education and welfare back
(36:19):
after this. Doctor Jeff Myers is the president of Summit
Ministries and a prolific author. Doctor Kathy Cook is the
(36:40):
founder and president of Celebrate Kids, likewise a very prolific author.
But together they've written the book Raising Gender Competent Kids
Helping Kids Embrace Their God given Design. Kathy, I know
I just talked to you, but let me go to
you first on this because you write a chapter specifically
about raising confident girls by using the eight smarts. I
love this phrase, by the way. I had I am
(37:03):
the mother of two girls and two boys, and the
boys are markedly different from the girls. But I have
to tell you that every child is different from every
one of the other child. This goes to the point
you were saying before about the fact that they don't
come out cookie cutters. They're all completely different. And, you know,
I was thinking, one of the things we learned in education, right,
is you have to learn a child's learning skill. Some
kids need to move, some kids need sound, some kids
(37:23):
need to touch, some kids need to see. So if
we're hardwired with a particular learning style, it makes sense,
doesn't it, that discovering who we are and how we
can find our confidence, we're going to have to tap
into the way that God made them unique and special.
And this goes to the smarts you talked about. I
love this. Give us some insight. There's more in the
book for people to read, but I love this when
you talk about ways in which we can raise confident girls.
S7 (37:46):
Yeah. Thank you. Word smart. We think with words. We
talk all the time. We need to learn to listen.
Logic smart girls can often feel maybe they should be
a boy If they're in a school, that it's the
boys that are in the math classes and the boys
who are in the advanced science classes, and there's a
girl sitting there, she might feel like out of place,
and maybe she's thinking, man, maybe I'm supposed to be
a boy. No, no, no, no. Girls can be very
(38:09):
bright in the math and the sciences and and guys,
you know, can be creative in the picture smart area,
which again, many girls are creative in that way. So
eight smarts. We have them all. We write the chapter
to proclaim that again, there's no one right way to be.
When we acknowledge that God made you this way on purpose,
with a purpose. Live long and find out why it
(38:30):
changes everything. They're going to accept who they are. They're
going to find their tribe, if I can put it
that way. Girls who are nature smart will find other
girls who are nature smart. And now they have acceptance,
and now they have belonging. And now they're going to
find purpose, and it's going to change everything for them.
S1 (38:43):
And it doesn't have a thing to do with gender.
I mean, that's what's so interesting about your approach to this.
I got tears in my eyes when I read this
because I thought, it's such a beautiful picture. Our job
as parents hold the lantern while she explores. I think
that's absolutely fabulous. Love that. So, Jeff, let me go
to the part where you talk about boys and girls together,
learning to harmonize and why we need each other. I'll
(39:05):
be bold. I'll put this out on the table. We've
messed up in some ways in the church writ large.
And so we have arguments now about roles of women,
and we have issues about sexual abuse and counseling. And
I mean, the list goes on and on. Honestly, I
would not give anybody in this class an A plus.
So we start all over again. How do we do
this correctly? Where we really, from a biblical worldview, teach
(39:26):
boys and girls who will eventually become Lord willing men
and women to harmonize and to live with one another?
S6 (39:32):
Yeah. Well, we and we have 200 conversation starters in
the book to help parents actually talk about all of this,
to help them explain to their child, your gender is
not something you have to become. It is something God
made you with. It's part of his good purpose. And
for boys, I think it's important for them to understand.
When they talk about and think about security, they need
to think about themselves as growing wiser. Who are the
(39:55):
wise people in your life? Who are the people who
are doing something well? Find out what they're doing and
figure out how to do it as well. Their identity.
Who am I? Boys were designed to explore their design,
their outward focused. And when you when you start looking
at those things and you compare them to things that
God designed girls with, you realize, oh, wow, we're actually
designed for each other. I could just give you one
(40:16):
quick example. Human beings have two kinds of retinal cells
rods and cones. Rods are the kinds of cells that
focus on contrast and motion. Cells are the kind. The
cones are the kinds of cells that focus on color
and texture. Boys have been given a preponderance of rods,
the kinds of cells that focus on contrast and motion
that not just a few more 30% more girls have
(40:37):
been given 30% more of the cones that focus on
color and texture. Well, if you want to accurately see
the world, you have to have contrast, motion, color, and texture.
God literally designed males and females to need each other
to accurately see the world. I can go through a
lot of other biological mechanisms, but those differences that I
(40:58):
mentioned earlier, 6500 biological differences between males and females, are
all designed so that we can harmonize for the good
of our families, for the good of the world.
S1 (41:09):
Yeah. And not to get on a soapbox here, but
what a wonderful argument to say that boys shouldn't compete
against girls in sports. I mean, because there's just the
profound biblical truth is there's such a distinction here. Try
to pretend that there isn't. Is just turning a blind
eye and a deaf ear to the nature that God
has revealed. Right, Romans? We are without excuse. I mean,
we just have to look around and see the difference
between boys and girls. One of the things I love
(41:30):
about the book is that you do an FAQ commonly
asked questions. And Cathy, I'm going to go back to
you on this because I'm not sure how many times parents,
and I'm hoping after this conversation perhaps it will be
infused in their vocabulary. But you really do jump on
and try to get us to understand the power of
the word confidence. And you say that it comes from
two words together and faith. Talk to me about that.
S7 (41:54):
Yeah. Um, Jeff, do you want to answer that first?
S6 (41:59):
Yeah, I will. Yeah. The frequently asked questions part was
it was tough to write it. We actually took the
24 hardest questions that we have ever gotten in, and
we put it all together in one place. But when
we talk about gender confidence, we're talking about being confident,
which means to have faith together. This isn't something you
do all by yourself. The isolation of Gen Z is
(42:21):
part of the problem here. They get isolated and then
they get indoctrinated. So having faith that together God is
going to reveal to us what he wants us to
be is is a big part of it. I'll just
give you a quick example. We I talked to one
young woman. She said, you know, when I was growing up,
I had glasses, I had braces, my hair. I couldn't
figure out what to do with my hair. It was
(42:42):
all frizzy. And she said, I always I always sort
of coveted the the, you know, the cute cheerleader in
our class until a mentor, a wise woman, she said,
said to me, well, someday you're going to figure out
what to do with your hair. You're going to get
contacts and you're going to get you're going to lose
the braces. But what you have developed during that time,
you're a character that is forever.
S1 (43:03):
Oh, wow. So important. Cathy, just as a quick note,
because of your expertise in child development, what do you think?
For example, when you see postings on X and some
mother sadly deceived says my 14 month old knew that
they were transgender at 14 months. My kids at 14 months.
Cathy did not speak full sentences, let alone know what
body they were in.
S7 (43:24):
No, no. It's insane. It's weak parenting. It's a parent
who wants that. A parent who maybe wanted a boy
and is going to make excuses and is going to
make something happen, and they're going to pay a major
price for that. Makes me nuts. I would pray that
they are surrounded by people who will tell them that.
That's crazy.
S8 (43:40):
Because it is.
S1 (43:41):
Exactly it is. And it goes back to what Jeff
you talk about, which is the worldview, which is being
unashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, always through a
grace narrative, but necessarily seasoned with salt. So again, why
do I love this book? Because it's a preemptive strike.
Don't let the world teach your kid. Get to your
child before the world does. Fill in their heart right
on the tablets of their heart. Hang those teachings around
(44:03):
their neck and get them ready to step out. In
a world where good is called evil, evil is called good,
and you can live in a different body. No, let's
understand who God is. Understand who God made you, how
he gifted you, the fact that he has a plan
for your life and you will have unbelievable confidence. And
that's the operative word in this whole conversation. So check
it out. It's called raising confident kids, helping kids embrace
(44:26):
their God given design. I got a link to summit
and I've got a link to Celebrate Kids Summit. Celebrate
Kids com so you can learn more about the great
ministries of Doctor Jeff Myers and Kathy Cook. Thank you
both for great conversation. Thank you friends. We'll see you
next time on In the Market with Janet Parshall.
Hi friend, thank you so much for downloading this podcast
and I truly hope you hear something that encourages edifies, equips, enlightens,
and gently but consistently pushes you out there into the
marketplace of ideas. But before you start to listen and
before you go to the marketplace, let me just tell
you about this month's truth tool. And it is a
perfect fit for both the marketplace and getting out there.
It's Ray Comfort's book. Why? Jesus? If you listen to
(00:22):
the broadcast with any regularity, you know we love Ray.
He is bold, unashamed of the gospel. And yet in
such a winsome way, he delivers a truth narrative to
the man in the street, so to speak. He's written
the book Why Jesus? To Teach You How to Walk Through,
by examples and through real conversations he's had on how
to share the gospel in exactly the same way. Listen,
(00:43):
we're called to go and tell. It's not an opt in,
opt out clause. That's where we're supposed to go. And
in truth, how can we keep this good news to ourselves?
So I want you to have Why Jesus as this
month's truth tool. So you'll get some fire in your
bones about going out and sharing the good News of
the gospel of Jesus Christ. We're listener supported radio. My
truths tools are a way of saying thank you. When
you give a gift to the program to keep us
(01:03):
going financially. Just call 877 Janet 58. That's 877 Janet
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Again it's called why. And you can ask for that
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(01:25):
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But in addition to that, they get a weekly newsletter
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Whether you'll be a partial partner or just a one
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Jesus 877, Janet 58 or online at In the Market
(01:45):
with Janet Parshall. Now please enjoy the broadcast.
S2 (01:51):
Here are some of the news headlines we're watching.
S3 (01:53):
The conference was over. The president won a pledge.
S4 (01:55):
Americans worshiping government over God.
S5 (01:57):
Extremely rare safety move by a major 17 years.
S4 (02:01):
The Palestinians and the Israelis negotiated a truce.
S5 (02:18):
Hi, friends.
S1 (02:19):
Welcome to In the Market with Janet Parshall. Thank you
in advance for spending the hour with us. My fervent
prayer is that by the time this hour is over,
you're encouraged, you're edified, you're equipped, you're enlightened, and you've
been gently but lovingly nudged out there into the marketplace
of ideas. I didn't tell you to go there. Jesus.
Did you want to check John 17? There's your marching orders,
and I will tell you that when we get out
(02:40):
into the marketplace, the purpose is to do a multiplicity
of things. Number one, to better contend for the faith,
to be prepared to give a reason for that hope
that resides within you, to let your light so shine
before men. And when you spend enough time in the marketplace,
you begin to discover what her shabby ideas. What? Her
What are truthful ideas? What is measured by the straight
stick of truth, God's word and what is not? And
(03:01):
we think to ourselves it's about our influencing the marketplace
and being good Bereans and testing all things is what
we talk about over and over and over again in
this program. Did you ever stop and think, though, that
the marketplace also has an impact on our kids? And
let me give you an example. When you read, one
of my favorite verses is found in Colossians, where it
tells us to be careful that there is a war
out there, a battle for the mind and the heart.
(03:22):
And how do I know that? Well, because the words
of Scripture frame this as a battle, that we have
to be careful that we're not taken captive a prisoner
of war, if you will, by vain and hollow philosophies
predicated on this world rather than on the Word of God. Now,
if that happens to us, does it not likewise happen
to our kids? Yes, 14 exclamation points, particularly if your
child is out there in a public school or just
(03:43):
in the culture at all. They're going to hear all
kinds of vain and hollow philosophies. And if we don't
teach them what they believe and why, they can believe it,
why they should believe it. How to practice applied Christianity
with a solid biblical worldview when they're young. Guess what
happens when they get older? Yeah, exactly. And if we
didn't get that growing up, it's why some of us
might be struggling right now when we're in the marketplace
(04:05):
of ideas. So let me take one issue just as
an example. What about this idea of transgenderism? Now, let
me just start by laying out the the facts here.
Transgenderism isn't a diagnosis, it's an ideology. Okay. It is
an ideology. Gender dysphoria, that's a diagnosis. And there are
very specifics about that that can be found in the
Bible of psychology, the DSM. But the reality is that
(04:26):
what we're seeing in classrooms, in media and in educational
policy is about the ideology. Vain and hollow philosophies predicated
in this world, rather than on the Word of God
that are being promoted through all of those outlets. What
happens to our poor kids? They're being bombarded about this
all the time. Why is it that in one school
district in America, did they see the issue of gender dysphoria,
(04:48):
although they didn't call it that, they called it transgenderism.
They have to. It's an ideology. They're not psychologists. These
are classroom teachers. Great respect for them, but they don't
have a PhD in clinical psychology. But why did we
see this cultural contagion impact so many kids to the
point where there is a are you ready for this figure?
It's almost sounds made up a 4,000% uptick in the
numbers of kids who said, I'm in the wrong body?
(05:09):
Come on, that's a social contagion. In biblical terms, that's
a vain and hollow philosophy that's swirling around the hearts
and minds of kids. So it raises a question can we,
in fact, raise gender confident kids? My two guests say
absolutely exclamation point, and together they've written a book that
does just that. There are the doctors not in the
house today. The doctors are in the house. Doctor Jeff Myers,
(05:31):
doctor Kathy Cook are with me. Jeff is the president
of Summit Ministries, and he's a recognized expert in worldview
training for young people. His leadership has transformed summit into
a global movement, equipping the next generation to champion a
biblical worldview. He's written a whole boatload of books. Kathy
is the founder and CEO of Celebrate Kids Incorporated, and
she's a respected voice on child development and biblical parenting.
(05:53):
She's a sought after speaker and author, and she has
written eight books. She equips parents and educators with practical,
faith based strategies so kids have character, confidence, and a
convinced identity in Jesus Christ. And at its core, this
whole idea is really about identity. So how do we
raise gender confident kids? Well, it really works out well
because you see, once upon a time in a land far,
(06:14):
far away, Jeff Myers wanted to write a book about this,
and Kathy Cook wanted to write a book about this.
And they got Ahold of each other and said, I know,
why don't we write a book about this together? Which
is why we have not one but two doctors in
the house today. So welcome to both of you. I'm
thrilled that you're here, Jeff. There's so much of a
worldview aspect of this, is there not surrounding this issue?
S6 (06:35):
There's no question, Janet, as you mentioned, a 4,000% increase.
There's something going on that's a worldview, that's a new
religion that is being foisted on the American people. And,
you know, partly is because of sin. And we are
ignorant of God's best. We all know that. But there
is an ideology, as you said, that's manipulating language. It
has captured the public schools dominantly. Half of the schools
(06:58):
in the United States are committed to gender ideology, not
because the teachers like it. They don't. Two thirds say
it's inappropriate. Only 4% of teachers say that it's positive.
But it's still there. It's a dominant ideology. And then
you have this twisted approach to mental health that comes
out of it, leading to a medical establishment that's figured
out how to make a lot of money off of it.
(07:19):
It is a perfect storm that is hurting our kids
in every imaginable way.
S1 (07:23):
Yeah, absolutely. Kathy, let me turn to you as an
expert in child development. This is where my heart breaks.
I have followed the Cass Review in the UK very
thoroughly longitudinal study. I think it's going to be the
seminal study on this. And what they discovered is the
same thing that Paul McHugh, who used to do sex
transition surgeries at Johns Hopkins but doesn't do it anymore.
What they discovered is that very often with these kids,
(07:45):
there is a cluster of mental health issues that either
have not been identified or have not been treated. And
very often what CAS found was that this idea that
what do you want? And this is what one of
this is one of the cudgels the advocates use. What
do you want, a dead son or alive daughter intimating
suicidal ideation if you don't eradicate the identity crisis. What
we found with the CAS report is after the fact.
(08:06):
Not only did it not eradicate actually actually suicidal ideations
went up after the surgery because guess what? It was
a hole in the heart. It wasn't being caught in
the wrong body. From your vantage point, as somebody who
cares about child development, this has to be very scary
because this is bad medicine all the way around it.
S7 (08:23):
So is man. I love the way you just go
right to it. Janet. Like you don't mince words at all.
What a joy to be with you. Um, that's one
of the reasons that Doctor Jeff and I wrote the book.
We're really concerned that there are children and young adults
who have legitimate mental health issues of stress, anxiety, depression.
Perhaps they've been abused. They don't. They don't know what's
going on. And they think that, oh, I'll just change
(08:43):
my gender. Like, that sounds so simple. And they assume
that that will take care of all of the issues.
But as you pointed out, it does not take care
of the issues. And now we have a misdiagnosed or
an underdiagnosed or an accurately diagnosed mental health issue not
being treated, and now it's just going to ramp up
and get worse. And then you add to that the
physical trauma that happens to the body when you begin
(09:05):
to make these medical transitions, it's just not good for
them at all. And the suicide rate is much higher.
I think it's 12 years after they begin to medically transition.
That is the highest point of suicide because it doesn't work.
S1 (09:18):
Right at its core. This is an identity issue. It's
a compassion issue. It's it's a mental health issue. It's
so many things. And here's what I love about this book.
And it's the first one I've seen like this. And
believe me, I got stacks and stacks of books. My
daughter deals with this in Washington, DC on public policy
every single day of the week. Craig has filed legal
briefs before the Supreme Court on this issue. This is
an issue that sits at the dinner table at the
(09:39):
partial household, but I have not yet seen a book
that is a preemptive strike. Doctors Jeff Myers and Kathy
Cook wrote the book to teach you now so that
your child will be confident, know who they are back
after this. In today's world, people are more confused than
ever about truth and meaning. That's why I've chosen Why
(10:01):
Jesus by Ray comfort as this month's truth tool. Discover
why Jesus is the only path to everlasting life, and
learn how to confidently share that hope with others. As
for your copy of Why Jesus, when you give a
gift of any amount to in the market, call 877
Janet 58. That's 877 Janet 58 or go to in
the market with Janet Parshall. Doctor Jeff Myers, Doctor Kathy
(10:24):
Cook together wrote a book that I think every parent
should have in their household. It's called Raising Gender Confident
Kids Helping Kids Embrace their God given design. And by
the way, one of the things that these two wonderful
thinkers did in their book is they put all kinds
of ways for you to get extra resources. So there's
starter questions. There's QR codes. There's all kinds of resources.
(10:45):
So it's more than a book. It's like a portal
into a library. So it's a very important book. And
if you don't want your child, by the way, to
be taken captive by this, and let me tell you,
Satan doesn't take a neutral posture on this by any
stretch of the imagination. He wants to take Imago Day,
the image of God in your child, and radically redefine
it any way he can. And so this preemptive strike,
(11:06):
which is what this book is, is to teach your
kids so they'll be confident in who they are in
Jesus Christ and in how he made him or her. So, Jeff,
let me start with you. And by the way, for
the two of you, I know how writing books with
a co-author works. If I ask a question and I
ask it of you, Jeff. And it was Kathy who
wrote it. Kathy, I ask you, and it's Jeff. Please
forgive who I directed to jump in because I don't
(11:26):
know who wrote what part. And either one of you
is going to be an expert in some areas, so
please do that. So let me start, Jeff, presumably with you,
which is the idea because it's really kind of a
worldview question. Okay, so here is this issue I believe
and have written and spoken on the fact that I
think this is a cultural tsunami like none other we've
seen for at least a decade. It is the tip
of the spear against the church, and it is the
(11:47):
one that really separates the men from the boys and
those who are going to say, yes, Lord, and those
who are going to cave to culture. I mean, the
pronoun issue alone is exemplary, exemplary of that. So why
engage and how do we engage on this issue?
S6 (12:01):
Well, I think we have to engage for two key reasons.
First of all, God wants us to engage on issues
like this. Scripture is quite clear from the very beginning.
God made us in his image and he made us
male and female. Those are the two types of humans,
and Christians need to be willing to stand on that
in spite of culture's confusion. The second thing is it's
simply biological reality. There are 6500 biological differences between boys
(12:26):
and girls. Confusing them about their social identity is simply wrong,
and it is all based on on one core concept
that Cathy and I identified, which is called the gender spectrum.
It says that you have male extreme males on one end,
extreme females on the other. You have. In other words,
you have G.I. Joe on one end, you have Barbie
on the other. And since none of us are either
(12:47):
of those, then we're all non-binary. So it's a way
of making sure 100% of the population is considered LGBTQ.
It's part of the agenda. And that that idea based
on cultural stereotypes is one of the things we want
to help parents learn to overcome. And I thank you
for mentioning the other resources that go along with the book.
(13:08):
But I should mention this now. We want to give
this book to everybody who's on the show that's been
made possible. If you just go to gender confident.com, you
can get your copy as our gift because we really
want this message message to get out. Janet. And we
love and respect everything that you do.
S1 (13:26):
Thank you for that. So Cathy, I find this interesting
because this really is you two are the perfect people
to write this, because this is as much a biblical
worldview as it is a child development issue. So why
do kids become prey to this? I know that everybody
wants to be accepted, and particularly as we're seeing young
kids growing up, they want to be part of that
peer group, part of the pack. Right? They want to
belong with their group. And if all of a sudden
(13:48):
their teachers, their friends are starting to talk about this issue,
they I can understand where a whole journey of self
questioning takes place. But what are the sand traps in
terms of the development for kids that we need to
know so they don't fall into this idea about being
confused about their gender?
S7 (14:04):
Right. Excellent question. It is, for so many of them
a belonging issue. They're craving, um, intimacy. They're they're craving
to be known. And we all want to be known
because God creates us and knows us. And so we're
drawn to the people who know us and the LGBTQ community,
the those who believe that you can change your gender.
They're very good at lying. They're very good at manipulating.
(14:26):
They're very good at saying, hey, come over here and
I'll know you, and I'll help you be known and
I'll make you happy. And so we have got to
do a better job of teaching our kids truth. Obviously,
one of the things that we write about in the
book that I think is potentially really helpful is the
idea of an identity dysphoria in general. We have kids
who are confused about every part of their identity, not
just gender. Gender identity confusion is a subset of the
(14:49):
general reality that we don't know our kids. We're not
spending time with our kids, our own parents. And I
don't you know, I don't mean this to slam anybody.
And I know that your listeners are mature and dedicated
to the family and to the the biblical mandate to
know them and to raise them up in the fear
and admonition of the Lord. And yet, when I interviewed children,
many of them don't feel known by their own parents
(15:09):
and grandparents or their older siblings. So then they're craving again.
They want to be known. And the unfortunately, the wrong
community is speaking loudly. I think the liar is loud today.
The liar is prevalent. So we've got to get better
at helping them know in general who they are and
presenting gender is good. One of the things that Jeff
and I, I think did well in the book was
to talk about respect for both genders, respect your own gender,
(15:32):
and trust God as creator in choosing it for you,
and then respect the other gender as well.
S1 (15:38):
Yeah, in fact, you have a section about boys, you
have a section about girls, and then you have a
section about boys and girls getting along together. So I
think that was wonderful, the way you laid all of
that out. Jeff, let me ask you this, because being
here as a war correspondent in Babylon, I watched trends
and I see things come and go. I flew back
into DC in 93 after giving a speech, didn't have
(15:58):
a clue that the day I landed was the day
that they had a huge gay pride march going down
the main street in Washington, DC and they handed out flyers.
I got one because they were telling what their platform
was going to be for the next several years, and
I shook my head, going, not in a million years
they have exceeded everything on that list. So it raises
an interesting question, Jeff. Why now? I mean, this idea
(16:19):
of struggling with your identity has happened since you walked
out of the garden. We live east of Eden. This
is part of the human condition, I get that, but
why the radical ascendency of this ideology now.
S6 (16:30):
Janet, one of the things you talked about in your
show is the postmodern impulse in modern culture. And in
order for postmodernism to succeed, it has to overthrow all truth.
And what's the one truth that everybody in the world
knows to be? Certainly true. I mean, we might not
understand exactly what the finer points of justice are, or
we might not know what liberty is or freedom, but
(16:52):
we all know what male or female would be. And
if we if that agenda can attack that, then it's
got the minds and hearts of the rising generation forever.
S1 (17:02):
Yeah. Absolutely. Agree. Wow. What a treat to have Doctor
Jeff Myers and Doctor Kathy Cook at the same time.
By the way, on the program, because they co-authored the
book Raising Gender Confident Kids Helping Kids embrace their God
given Design. By the way, I have a link to
summit because Jeff obviously is the president of Summit Ministries,
and Kathy is the founder and president of Celebrate Kids.
(17:23):
So under their bios on the information page, I have
a direct link to their ministry so you can learn more.
And on the right hand side there's the book. So
check it out. We've got more to talk about on
this crucial topic. Moms and dads. Stick around back after this.
S5 (17:52):
We are visiting.
S1 (17:53):
With Doctor Jeff Myers, President of Summit Ministries, and Doctor
Kathy Cook, founder and CEO of Celebrate Kids. It's a
joy to talk to both of them individually, but even
more delightful when they come together because they've co-authored the
book Raising Gender Confident Kids Helping Kids Embrace their God
given Design. Kathy, this is clearly a child development issue,
so let me pitch it to you if I can.
(18:13):
You have an entire chapter called Resolving Identity Dysphoria. I
love that phrase, by the way. It's so much better
than saying gender dysphoria. And as you say, that's just
one strata of the bigger picture of identity dysphoria. But
there are five core needs that every single child has.
What are they. And again tie this back, if you would,
to the vulnerability to this particular issue about gender identity.
S7 (18:36):
Right. We have a need for security which is who
can I trust. So we need to be available to
our children. We need to be truth talkers and wisdom
walkers and answer their questions and hear their heart cries
and you know, not panic, but be available to tell
them the truth. Teach them the truth. Open the Bible.
Get them in touch with others who also would proclaim
that God's ways are the best ways. And if you
(18:57):
don't know him yet, you can know him personally. So
we have a need for security. Everyone has that, um,
children crave it. That's why they will always be drawn
to the parent who is, or the adult who is
most available to them. Then we have a need for identity.
So we have an identity crisis obviously, in our culture,
because we have a security crisis. If there's no security,
then kids don't know who to talk to for the truth.
(19:17):
And so again, let's let's tell the truth. Let's apologize.
Let's ask be forgiven. Let's put them in touch with
others who can be wisdom for them, so that when
we get to the question of identity. Who am I?
We can. We can again teach them truth from the
Scripture and from what we know about them to be true.
Don't let them live in the past. Don't let them
live only into the future dreams. But make sure that
(19:38):
they're living today. Do they know their strengths and have
we helped them identify that their strengths are from God?
Ephesians 210 giftings and that the longer they live, the
more it'll make sense to them that they've been given
the gifts they've been given. And then we have belonging. Janet,
this need that they have for connection comes from security
and identity. If children don't know who they can trust
and they don't know who they are, they will not
(20:00):
know who to hang with or the people they hang
with will manipulate them into believing that they are who
they actually are not. So we must answer the questions
about who is trustworthy and who are you. And therefore,
here are the people groups who you might want to
belong to, whether it be band or drama, or the
youth group worship team. Or perhaps you could be the
greatest babysitter in the, you know, in the neighborhood. And
(20:22):
that's how you meet some of your belonging needs. Then
we have purpose. Why am I alive? The cry of
every person is to believe that they were created on purpose,
for purpose, with a purpose for right now. I love
talking to young people. About what? Your Esther moment. Have
you already had it? What other ones can you have?
Why were you created? And if we don't have people
to serve and we don't know who we are and
(20:43):
we don't have anyone we can trust, will guide us
into righteousness, then we don't believe we were created on purpose.
We think that God made mistakes and we can talk
with you about that on the show today if you
want about that. That dangerous reality that so many people
are stuck in. And then we get to competence. Janet,
what do I do? Well, and again, we all need
to be able to do things well, but it comes
(21:04):
from purpose. If children don't know why they're alive, they
don't think they need to do anything well. And now
we have apathy, and now we're quickly manipulated again into
becoming who we were not designed to be. It's easier
to receive the lie and perceive it as truth when
you're weak and when you're. You're on sinking sand here.
So it starts with security, so that everyone who's listening,
(21:24):
who's a truth talker, who is responsible and dependable and
has to be forgiven and remembers to pick up their
kids on time, you know, and and says, no, like,
weak parenting is one of the reasons we're in this issue.
Not weak parents, but weak parenting where we're afraid to
say no for fear that they're going to be mad
or they won't be our friend. Well, I'm going to
say let them be mad for a while, because we
(21:47):
got to teach them the truth. And the truth is,
that is a really foolish idea. So the answer is no.
You know, and then we talk and we look for
opportunities to talk more about it. But that's a quick
overview of the five that are in a particular order
that's really important. And um, if if there's confusion in
one of them, there's probably confusion in the others. And
but clarity is possible. We wrote this book because confusion
(22:07):
is dangerous. We don't think clearly when we're confused, but
clarity is possible.
S1 (22:12):
Wow. Amen. So first, Peter says we're supposed to gird
up the loins of our minds. So I heard you talking.
And I know that there have to be other people
in the audience thinking the same thing when you just
talked about those needs in that order. It was brilliant.
And I bet a lot of people thought, okay, so
how does this different from Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right.
So if you go up his pyramid at the top,
(22:33):
you've got competence. What do I do? Well, at the
top of his is self-actualization. That's about a chasm as
big as the Grand Canyon, as far as I can see.
S7 (22:43):
That's great. Yeah. Not possible. Right.
S1 (22:45):
Exactly, exactly. So tell me how the the biblical worldview
differs from Maslow on this.
S7 (22:51):
Right. Well, he starts with safety and it's not irrelevant,
you know, do I have food and shelter and but
it's security. It's people. You know, Jesus meets our needs.
God meets our need. The Holy Spirit meets our need.
It's people who meet our need. It's not things. We
can't do it on our own. It's. It's the one
who created us for such a time as this that's
going to be the one to fulfill us. And it's
the connection of the five. I think what God taught me,
(23:13):
and I'm so grateful, is that they're all connected. In fact,
back to security. Who can I trust? It links to
the very top of the pyramid, which is competent. If
I'm the parent who teaches a kid how to be
well and do well, then they trust me because I've
developed their competence and now they come to me when
they have a question and they won't go to Siri
and they won't go to some internet website that's got
(23:34):
a dangerous ideology hidden within its framework that we don't
even know. Is there?
S1 (23:39):
Mm. Wow. I tell you, that's so very, very important.
So what happens, Jeff, let me ask you, when in fact,
what the end of each chapter. I'm glad I thought
of this. I want to point this out. Each of
you offer your perspective, which I think was brilliant. So
we've got the Doctor Jeff perspective, and then we've got
the doctor Kathy perspective. So let me ask you this question.
You hear the music on the other side of the break,
I'll take the answer. So when we as parents recognize
(24:02):
these five needs, and we, as Kathy just pointed out,
understand the intersectionality of all of these five, how one
really has an impact on the other. Why does this
end up somehow helping our child not only understand who
they are, but how does it end up glorifying God?
Let me get the answer to that on the break.
The name of the book is called Raising Gender Confident
(24:22):
Kids Helping Kids Embrace Their God Given Design, co-authored by
our two guests, Doctor Jeff Myers, Doctor Kathy Cook, back
after this. What's the goal of in the market? I'll
(24:55):
tell you in the market equips men and women to
think critically and act biblically. Why do we do this?
So that we can be confident when speaking the truth
in a confused culture? Are you willing to stand with me?
Become a partial partner today, and enjoy exclusive benefits only
my partners receive while making an impact for the Kingdom.
Call 877 Janet, 58 or go online to in the
market with Janet Parshall. We have the privilege of spending
(25:20):
the hour with not one but two doctors. One doctor,
Kathy Cook, the founder and president of Celebrate Kids, a
prolific author, by the way, and someone who really understands
child development, and also Doctor Jeff Myers, who is the
president of Summit Ministries. And likewise, he has written a
whole bunch of books. But what's unique is that the
two of them together have written an excellent and timely
book called Raising Gender Confident Kids Helping Kids Embrace Their
(25:42):
God given Design. So, Jeff, you tell the story about
how you loved to tour factories with your sons and
you talk about welding. So the question I asked you
before the break was Kathy had just talked about these
five core needs that every single child has, and there
is an interconnection there. And that caused you to talk
about welding. What's the connection?
S6 (26:01):
Well, raising boys is is tricky. You always have to
keep them busy. That was what I found out. Just
keep them busy, wear them out every day. And so
I would take them to factories. And one thing we learned,
we went to a factory where they were welding tanker
trucks like the ones that carry milk or gasoline on
the highway. And the the director there took us into
a couple of the tanks and said, look at these
(26:22):
welds right here, this weld. And he showed it to
us and it was lumpy. It was it was safe.
It was a good weld, but it was all lumpy.
It didn't look very good. He said. This mold is
made by a guy who does this as his job.
And then he showed us another weld. Perfectly smooth, beautifully done.
And he said, this is a weld made by a
guy who sees his welding as an art. He sees
(26:43):
it as his calling. And now this was inside of
a tank. As soon as those tanks were put together,
no human eye would ever see those welds again. They
were both safe, but one was done with the spirit
of excellence and the other wasn't. God has designed us
as males and females to pursue excellence in a particular way.
It's what makes sense of what it means to be
(27:05):
a father, or a mother, or a sister, or a
brother or a son or daughter, because God is our father.
And it also enables us to to live and grow
with character. One of the things Doctor Kathy often says,
which I appreciate so much, is that we've got to
raise a generation that becomes comfortable being uncomfortable. When when
transgender activists say, well, you feel uncomfortable in your body
(27:27):
when you're going through adolescence, well, yeah. So has every
single human being who has ever lived. Right. It is
not a call that you are born in the wrong body.
But that's exactly the message that kids are getting. We
have some friends. Their daughter came home at the end
of last school year and said, well, I'm the only
boy left in my class. What do you mean? She
said every other girl in the class has now become
(27:48):
a boy. The entire class had been convinced that they
were transgender. Obviously, the parents wisely took the child and
put them in a different school. But you understand this
is a constant struggle. Every single person who's listening right
now either faces this in their own family, with their
children or grandchildren. I met one grandma, she said. I've
got 13 grandkids, five identify as transgender or your children
(28:11):
have somebody they know. So this is ever present for us,
and that's why we want everybody to have a free
copy of the Raising Gender Confident Kids book. Who's listening today?
S1 (28:21):
Well, you talk about having a biblical worldview actually strengthens
someone's gender confidence. What's the connection?
S6 (28:29):
Well, if you have a biblical worldview, then you trust
that God actually designed you on purpose and that the
things you go through, for better or for worse, are
all part of him developing you to become more like Jesus.
Once you take that on as your core identity, you
see your core identity in Jesus rather than in your sexuality,
(28:49):
or how others perceive you, or your popularity or your
athletic ability. Then you have a comfort that lasts your
entire life, not just during a particular season when you
might be viewed by those who are around you as
being better at one particular thing or another.
S1 (29:06):
Mm. Wow. So again, that idea of being concretized in
a worldview, knowing what we believe and why we believe it.
This goes back to something you said earlier, and I'm
glad that you raised it, which is what we often
hear is that God, whether it's the trans issue or
just same sex attraction. God doesn't make mistakes. He made
me this way. Well, that stands in stark opposition to
(29:28):
the declaration in God's Word that male and female, he
created them both. We don't read stories of making mistakes
or of anyone changing their gender. You'll hear the argument
of the eunuch. That's a whole different. That's a strawman argument.
So we push that aside. But this idea about God
making mistakes, how do we respond to that? Because our
kids are going to hear that in the marketplace. How
do we refute that?
S7 (29:48):
Yeah. He doesn't. We go to Scripture, we refute the
lie with the scripture, and he's a good creator. And
it's interesting because we don't think he's a good creator.
Then everything is at question. If we give up Genesis 127,
the first book of the first chapter, and the first
book of the Bible, we're in big trouble. So we
talk about it's okay. Like my height when I was
a little kid, I didn't like my height. I'm six
(30:09):
one right now. For those of you who are listening
who don't know me, I'm six one. I was tall
as a kid. I didn't like it. I said to
my mom, I don't want to be tall anymore. And
I'm so grateful. She didn't think about cutting six inches
off between my knee and my ankle. I mean, it
wasn't even a possibility back then. They knew my mom
and dad knew that they had a daughter with a
perceived problem that could be changed. I was clumsy and
(30:31):
a perceived problem that could not be changed. I was
going to be tall, so they worked to change my attitude.
And we have got to come alongside of our children
and our teens and our young adults and work with
them to change their attitude toward themselves as they declare
through their behavior that God has been good to me.
And I say it all the time, live long and
be strong and find out why you are the who
(30:51):
you are. I didn't know that my height would be
an advantage when I was little, but now it's one
of my greatest advantages. Now you can be petite and
be a public speaker. Certainly you can be. But because
of my bad back, I sit on a stool when
I speak. But because I'm six one, everyone can see me.
So you know what, Janet? Part of it is, do
we model joy in God's creative intent? And do we
(31:12):
talk about God is creator and we have been created?
Don't let your kids think that they were just spaghetti
thrown against the wall. And what sticks stuck. No, you
were you were wanted as you are, warts and all.
And I just spoke to some summit students just last night.
I love being on the faculty of Doctor Jess Ministry.
And I said, you know, Ephesians 210 declares that we're
(31:33):
gifted in advance, that we would walk in those gifts.
And I think God also chooses the challenges that we're
going to walk through because they mature us and they
strengthen us. That's what the Scripture teaches. When we walk
through valleys, we find endurance and hope and strength, and
that's part of part of God's plan. So let's walk
with our kids.
S1 (31:50):
Yeah. Amen and amen. So, Jeff, you write in the
book that there are some biblical truths that we as
moms and dads can use to refute some of the
lies about gender. I bet every person within the sound
of our voices would love to know that. So where
do we turn in Scripture to refute these arguments?
S6 (32:04):
Well, you begin with Genesis chapter one. The very first
thing we know about human beings after God made them
is that he made them male or female. And when
you look at Genesis chapter two and you look at
the creation of the woman, you also see that God
made the man and then made the woman to be
alongside of him to the word literally means in your face.
(32:25):
And it it it's it's okay. Here is your counterpart
for the two of you are going to steward the world.
Every time you see things about character in Scripture, those
are all going to refer to how we as males
and females are are designed. And then I think you
I look at the Old Testament, so much of the
(32:46):
Old Testament law, which I think people skip over that
when they read, but it's all about protecting women and children.
It elevates males and females as important in the eyes
of God and in society. In the New Testament, it's
the same thing that God has given us. This picture
of marriage, uh, that is the vision of Christ and
the church. And so the all the context of Scripture,
(33:07):
in every single aspect is that we've been given to
design by God. And if we carefully steward it, then
we can bring blessing and flourishing to the world around us.
And if I could say anything to a parent of
a child who's struggling with this right now, walk alongside
of that child to help them find a way that
they can contribute. When Doctor Cathy was talking about competence,
(33:29):
I wanted to stand up and shout because that is
so critical. I know it's true for boys, but I
think it's true for girls as well. If you can
find something that returns energy to you and makes you
feel more alive, where you know that what you're doing
makes a difference, then the voices of culture recede into
the background and the voice of God gets louder.
S1 (33:50):
Well, let me dig into this because I think it's
so important. Cathy, what Jeff just said is very interesting.
So we've had this conversation talking about transgenderism and ideology
is obviously the topic du jour in the culture at large.
But really, when you stop and think about it, what
you're offering is an antithetical message to this, which is
discovering who you are. Not that God make mistakes because
(34:10):
he doesn't, but exactly who you are, how God made you,
and what God wants you to do. Now that puts
a bounce in anybody's step, I would think, and a
twinkle in their eye, to think that the God of
all creation, what has plans for me, has made me
a certain way so that I can do something for
him that'll get you out of bed in the morning.
S7 (34:27):
Yes, I agree with you. And one of the things
that we write about in the book are be careful
of the stereotypes, you know, like boys think they shouldn't
like cooking in the kitchen with mom. Well, that's a lie.
Look at any of the cooking shows on TV. Most
of the judges and the chefs are men. You know,
a girl can like changing the oil in the truck
with dad, and a boy can, like watching musicals with grandma.
(34:48):
And a girl can, like watching westerns with grandpa. And
women can have low voices, and men can be petite.
I mean, it's just a lie from the devil that
there's a way to be this gender. We've got to
open that up and and make sure that they understand
again that God chose it for them. And can they
trust him? Well, we've we've got to disciple our children, Janet.
(35:09):
We have to disciple our children to believe the Scripture
is true. We talk about that in the book, that
God is a good creator, that he's intentional and strategic
and doesn't make mistakes. And he has a plan for
our lives, and he orders our steps and we choose
to trust, you know, and as Jeff said before, we've
all had a season of being uncomfortable. We can we
can walk through that and then watch for for God's
(35:31):
answers to show up and everything changes. It's just beautiful.
S1 (35:35):
Yeah. Exactly right. But it's changing the focus, is it not?
And it's a reminder. Just big picture here. Wide angle
lens of a parent that you you can't be in absentia.
There is a vacant hole in your heart, in the
child's heart. And the world isn't going to sit passively
by it will rush in to fill it with its
world view as much as it possibly can. I've often said,
(35:56):
if Mom and Dad don't get there first, trust me,
the world will. So you can't. This is not an
opt out clause. You know you can get opt out
programs in school. Mom and dad, you can't opt out.
This one. This is your primary responsibility, is looking well
to the ways of your household, as Scripture says. And
I have to tell you, I want to tell you,
being in Washington, DC, a town full of bureaucrats, you
are the best Department of Health, education and welfare back
(36:19):
after this. Doctor Jeff Myers is the president of Summit
Ministries and a prolific author. Doctor Kathy Cook is the
(36:40):
founder and president of Celebrate Kids, likewise a very prolific author.
But together they've written the book Raising Gender Competent Kids
Helping Kids Embrace Their God given Design. Kathy, I know
I just talked to you, but let me go to
you first on this because you write a chapter specifically
about raising confident girls by using the eight smarts. I
love this phrase, by the way. I had I am
(37:03):
the mother of two girls and two boys, and the
boys are markedly different from the girls. But I have
to tell you that every child is different from every
one of the other child. This goes to the point
you were saying before about the fact that they don't
come out cookie cutters. They're all completely different. And, you know,
I was thinking, one of the things we learned in education, right,
is you have to learn a child's learning skill. Some
kids need to move, some kids need sound, some kids
(37:23):
need to touch, some kids need to see. So if
we're hardwired with a particular learning style, it makes sense,
doesn't it, that discovering who we are and how we
can find our confidence, we're going to have to tap
into the way that God made them unique and special.
And this goes to the smarts you talked about. I
love this. Give us some insight. There's more in the
book for people to read, but I love this when
you talk about ways in which we can raise confident girls.
S7 (37:46):
Yeah. Thank you. Word smart. We think with words. We
talk all the time. We need to learn to listen.
Logic smart girls can often feel maybe they should be
a boy If they're in a school, that it's the
boys that are in the math classes and the boys
who are in the advanced science classes, and there's a
girl sitting there, she might feel like out of place,
and maybe she's thinking, man, maybe I'm supposed to be
a boy. No, no, no, no. Girls can be very
(38:09):
bright in the math and the sciences and and guys,
you know, can be creative in the picture smart area,
which again, many girls are creative in that way. So
eight smarts. We have them all. We write the chapter
to proclaim that again, there's no one right way to be.
When we acknowledge that God made you this way on purpose,
with a purpose. Live long and find out why it
(38:30):
changes everything. They're going to accept who they are. They're
going to find their tribe, if I can put it
that way. Girls who are nature smart will find other
girls who are nature smart. And now they have acceptance,
and now they have belonging. And now they're going to
find purpose, and it's going to change everything for them.
S1 (38:43):
And it doesn't have a thing to do with gender.
I mean, that's what's so interesting about your approach to this.
I got tears in my eyes when I read this
because I thought, it's such a beautiful picture. Our job
as parents hold the lantern while she explores. I think
that's absolutely fabulous. Love that. So, Jeff, let me go
to the part where you talk about boys and girls together,
learning to harmonize and why we need each other. I'll
(39:05):
be bold. I'll put this out on the table. We've
messed up in some ways in the church writ large.
And so we have arguments now about roles of women,
and we have issues about sexual abuse and counseling. And
I mean, the list goes on and on. Honestly, I
would not give anybody in this class an A plus.
So we start all over again. How do we do
this correctly? Where we really, from a biblical worldview, teach
(39:26):
boys and girls who will eventually become Lord willing men
and women to harmonize and to live with one another?
S6 (39:32):
Yeah. Well, we and we have 200 conversation starters in
the book to help parents actually talk about all of this,
to help them explain to their child, your gender is
not something you have to become. It is something God
made you with. It's part of his good purpose. And
for boys, I think it's important for them to understand.
When they talk about and think about security, they need
to think about themselves as growing wiser. Who are the
(39:55):
wise people in your life? Who are the people who
are doing something well? Find out what they're doing and
figure out how to do it as well. Their identity.
Who am I? Boys were designed to explore their design,
their outward focused. And when you when you start looking
at those things and you compare them to things that
God designed girls with, you realize, oh, wow, we're actually
designed for each other. I could just give you one
(40:16):
quick example. Human beings have two kinds of retinal cells
rods and cones. Rods are the kinds of cells that
focus on contrast and motion. Cells are the kind. The
cones are the kinds of cells that focus on color
and texture. Boys have been given a preponderance of rods,
the kinds of cells that focus on contrast and motion
that not just a few more 30% more girls have
(40:37):
been given 30% more of the cones that focus on
color and texture. Well, if you want to accurately see
the world, you have to have contrast, motion, color, and texture.
God literally designed males and females to need each other
to accurately see the world. I can go through a
lot of other biological mechanisms, but those differences that I
(40:58):
mentioned earlier, 6500 biological differences between males and females, are
all designed so that we can harmonize for the good
of our families, for the good of the world.
S1 (41:09):
Yeah. And not to get on a soapbox here, but
what a wonderful argument to say that boys shouldn't compete
against girls in sports. I mean, because there's just the
profound biblical truth is there's such a distinction here. Try
to pretend that there isn't. Is just turning a blind
eye and a deaf ear to the nature that God
has revealed. Right, Romans? We are without excuse. I mean,
we just have to look around and see the difference
between boys and girls. One of the things I love
(41:30):
about the book is that you do an FAQ commonly
asked questions. And Cathy, I'm going to go back to
you on this because I'm not sure how many times parents,
and I'm hoping after this conversation perhaps it will be
infused in their vocabulary. But you really do jump on
and try to get us to understand the power of
the word confidence. And you say that it comes from
two words together and faith. Talk to me about that.
S7 (41:54):
Yeah. Um, Jeff, do you want to answer that first?
S6 (41:59):
Yeah, I will. Yeah. The frequently asked questions part was
it was tough to write it. We actually took the
24 hardest questions that we have ever gotten in, and
we put it all together in one place. But when
we talk about gender confidence, we're talking about being confident,
which means to have faith together. This isn't something you
do all by yourself. The isolation of Gen Z is
(42:21):
part of the problem here. They get isolated and then
they get indoctrinated. So having faith that together God is
going to reveal to us what he wants us to
be is is a big part of it. I'll just
give you a quick example. We I talked to one
young woman. She said, you know, when I was growing up,
I had glasses, I had braces, my hair. I couldn't
figure out what to do with my hair. It was
(42:42):
all frizzy. And she said, I always I always sort
of coveted the the, you know, the cute cheerleader in
our class until a mentor, a wise woman, she said,
said to me, well, someday you're going to figure out
what to do with your hair. You're going to get
contacts and you're going to get you're going to lose
the braces. But what you have developed during that time,
you're a character that is forever.
S1 (43:03):
Oh, wow. So important. Cathy, just as a quick note,
because of your expertise in child development, what do you think?
For example, when you see postings on X and some
mother sadly deceived says my 14 month old knew that
they were transgender at 14 months. My kids at 14 months.
Cathy did not speak full sentences, let alone know what
body they were in.
S7 (43:24):
No, no. It's insane. It's weak parenting. It's a parent
who wants that. A parent who maybe wanted a boy
and is going to make excuses and is going to
make something happen, and they're going to pay a major
price for that. Makes me nuts. I would pray that
they are surrounded by people who will tell them that.
That's crazy.
S8 (43:40):
Because it is.
S1 (43:41):
Exactly it is. And it goes back to what Jeff
you talk about, which is the worldview, which is being
unashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, always through a
grace narrative, but necessarily seasoned with salt. So again, why
do I love this book? Because it's a preemptive strike.
Don't let the world teach your kid. Get to your
child before the world does. Fill in their heart right
on the tablets of their heart. Hang those teachings around
(44:03):
their neck and get them ready to step out. In
a world where good is called evil, evil is called good,
and you can live in a different body. No, let's
understand who God is. Understand who God made you, how
he gifted you, the fact that he has a plan
for your life and you will have unbelievable confidence. And
that's the operative word in this whole conversation. So check
it out. It's called raising confident kids, helping kids embrace
(44:26):
their God given design. I got a link to summit
and I've got a link to Celebrate Kids Summit. Celebrate
Kids com so you can learn more about the great
ministries of Doctor Jeff Myers and Kathy Cook. Thank you
both for great conversation. Thank you friends. We'll see you
next time on In the Market with Janet Parshall.
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