May 12, 2025 • 23 mins
Have you ever felt like your life was burning down around you? Your relationships, your plans, your very identity reduced to ashes? That's exactly where I found myself – in a season where everything seemed broken beyond repair.
What I discovered in that painful place changed everything: God doesn't stand outside our flames watching us burn. He steps right into our rubble and begins gathering tools to rebuild us. As Isaiah promises, He truly does bestow "a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."
In this raw and heartfelt episode, I share my journey from brokenness to restoration – how God took my personal devastation and transformed it into ministry. We explore why many of us continue carrying old baggage into new seasons, and how this prevents us from fully stepping into what God has prepared. The turning point isn't found in distraction or denial, but in complete surrender: "Jesus, if you can do something with this wreck, I'm all yours."
We dive deep into the challenging process of forgiveness – forgiving those who never apologized and forgiving ourselves for not being perfect. This forgiveness doesn't happen overnight, but Jesus repeatedly whispers: "You don't have to carry what I already paid for." Through practical steps and spiritual insights, I'll guide you to identify what you're still holding onto from your ashes and find the courage to finally lay it down.
What struggle are you facing today? What baggage are you dragging into your future? Listen, pray along with us, and discover that your broken season isn't the end of your story – it might just be the soil where God plants something entirely new.
We are a free Christian/Family podcast. However, with your support, we can further the kingdom and provide access to this podcast around the world. We appreciate you giving as it will be used for the kingdom. If you can't support monetarily, we ask you to pray that God continue to be the center of this mission and stories heard through this podcast are a reflection of his goodness. We are thankful for you tuning in and hope you find blessing, In the Midst. -Love HC
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey friends, I hope you're having an awesome day.
I got up thinking about thisrecording this morning and I
thought you know what, god, Iwant to choose joy today, even
though I'm exhausted and I'mtired from all the things we
moms do.
I want to choose you today, andso one of the things that I
(00:22):
really felt on my heart was hey,when you start in the midst,
let's pray over the messagerather than praying at the end.
And so today we're going tostart off in the midst, not only
talking about hope, but we'regoing to talk to God, and I want
(00:44):
to pray for you, and I alsowant to pray that my words are
of him and that I lead you tothe cross, not to my opinion,
not to what I think you need todo, but what God desires for you
.
So let's start that thismorning.
Dear Lord, thank you so much fordying on the cross, not only
(01:04):
for me, but for my friends.
God, not only for my friends,but the beggars and all of those
that choose against you everysingle day.
God, you didn't decide for one,for her, for him, you decided I
will die for all, no matterwhat.
I will die for all, no matterwhat.
And, god, I am so thankful thatyou do not see anything but us.
(01:31):
And God, we love you so muchand we are just so thankful for
the sacrifice that you havegiven already for us.
Lord, I ask you right nowthere's going to be some hard
conversation today.
There's going to be some tearsfrom my side and probably some
tears from the listeners thatare hearing your word.
But, god, I ask you right nowthat it is yours, not mine, god,
(01:56):
that you don't allow anythingto work into this podcast today
that you do not desire for thehearts of those who are
listening.
And, god, we thank you for notonly your faithfulness, but we
thank you for your grace, god,that you desire us to provide
(02:16):
forgiveness to others, so thatit allows us to step into
whatever you have ahead of us.
And, god, help me to open mindsand open eyes to you through
your word, and we love you andwe praise you in Jesus name.
Amen.
All right, so here we go andwe're going to dive right in,
(02:39):
and one of the things I want todo today is I'm going to talk a
lot slower than I've beentalking because we're going to
go to a part.
I know we've discussedbrokenness, and I know we talked
about the everyday mom life andthings that are happening and
make it chaotic.
But one thing that we have todo before moving forward in our
journeys is we have to removeall the baggage.
(03:01):
We got to take it off, we gotto lay it down, and that's going
to require more faith thanyou've ever had.
See, a lot of our baggage comesfrom past hurt and past
relationships.
It comes from friendships thatended.
It comes from church hurt.
It comes from all of thesethings that not only we have
(03:23):
stepped into, but God steppedinto it with us, whether we
invited him or not.
And here's the deal he can'tpush us forward if we want to
stay backwards, and he wants todo great things in our lives.
I'm telling you I don't have aperfect life.
My house is not always clean.
(03:44):
I don't do everything that istruly pleasing to Him, because
I'm human and I make mistakes.
I get angry at a softball gamequicker than anybody on the
field, and I don't have a dog inthe race.
I'm not the umpire, I'm not aplayer and I'm not even a coach
most of the time, but I'm human,and so one of those things that
(04:07):
I have to remind myself is hey,hey, you're not reflecting him,
you're not shining him, and soif you are being looked at right
now by someone who doesn't lovehim, could you lead him or her
to the cross?
But, guys, here's the deal.
Okay, let's really dive intosome things that have been
(04:28):
painful.
Sometimes it feels like it'sburned down all around us our
marriages, our plans, ourfamilies, even our identity.
But here's what I know withouta shadow of a doubt.
But here's what I know withouta shadow of a doubt.
We serve I serve a God whodoesn't walk away from the
(04:49):
rubble.
He steps right into it, hepicks up the ashes and somehow,
somehow, he starts buildingbeauty.
And I'm not talking about justa patch job, not a quick fix,
but a holy restoration, one thathe can only do.
(05:11):
Guys, if you want part of this,you got to open yourself right
now to allowing yourself.
Whatever the roadblock is, yougot to remove it.
I pray right now that the HolySpirit is aligning those things
up so you can say you got to go,you got to go.
(05:32):
I am able because God is able.
I can do these things.
Today, I'm going to share whatit looked like when God took my
mess and turned it into ministry, and I'm telling you, if he can
do that for me, he's not goingto leave you out, I promise.
(05:54):
This one is for the woman whofeels too far gone.
You feel too broken, you're tootired.
Let's take it to the Word,because one thing I like to do
is make sure that anything thatwe discuss on In the Mist is not
only fact, but you can find itin the Word.
(06:16):
Isaiah 61.3 says To bestow onthem a crown of beauty instead
of ashes, the oil of joy insteadof mourning, and a garment of
praise instead of a spirit ofdespair.
(06:37):
If that's what your soul needs,you're in the right place.
The burned down parts of my lifeI could strike a match, even
talking about it.
I've seen fire, not the kindyou call 911 for, the kind that
(07:01):
sits quietly in your home eatingaway at everything you thought
was safe.
There was a season where I felteverything in my life was
falling apart A marriage thatlooked good on paper but was
filled with pain, lies.
I didn't want to believe, butcouldn't deny Children who were
watching and waiting for a momthat felt like she was breaking
under the weight, a woman whoonce stood tall in her faith,
(07:26):
now hiding under shame, fear andexhaustion.
And I'll be honest, I asked Godmore than once where are you in
all of this?
I think I talked to you aboutthat when we talked about
brokenness.
Where are you, god?
Where are you, god?
But what I didn't realize atthe time is God wasn't standing
(07:49):
outside of those flames watchingme burn.
He was already gathering thetools to rebuild me.
Let that sink in.
He is such a good father thathe is so far ahead of us.
(08:13):
Even in our rubble, he'salready building our return.
But my turning point wasn't hey,god, I may need you.
Hey, god, I'm going to go andI'm going to play softball this
weekend and I'm not going tothink about you.
And, god, I'm going to go onthis date because, well, it just
feels right and this is whatI'm going to do.
And, god, I'm going to buy allthese things and put it on my
(08:33):
credit card because at somepoint somebody will pay for it.
No, that wasn't my turningpoint.
My turning point wasn't walkinginto work every day putting a
smile on my face and acting likenothing was wrong.
My turning point was choosing tosurrender.
You don't build or rebuild alife by accident.
(08:58):
You do it by surrender.
And this came slowly for me,even in the church office, in
altar calls I didn't plan torespond to, in lonely nights
where I cried out not evenknowing what I needed.
There came a moment when Ifinally stopped trying to make
(09:21):
it look all okay and I saidJesus, if you can do something
with this wreck, I'm all yoursand y'all.
He didn't just put me backtogether.
He gave me an entirely new life, and some of you are walking in
that new life right now.
But what's happening is you'restill carrying the baggage from
(09:44):
the old life.
You're still laying down atnight and you're not laying down
the things that you need toleave at the altar.
You're still carrying thebaggage from the old life.
You're still carrying thebaggage.
You're bringing them to bedwith you.
You're waking up with them.
You're looking at your childrenand thinking, gosh, I got to
share them this weekend, I gotto do this, I got to do that.
But do you not realize that Godknew all those obstacles when
(10:06):
he said surrender to me?
There came a moment when Godsaid enough's enough and y'all.
He didn't just put me backtogether.
He restored my motherhood, heredeemed my past and then, in
his wild and gracious timing, hegave Tyler.
(10:34):
I found myself this morning andthis is where I get emotional
and I'm really trying not to cry.
I really am.
But I was watching Tyler workat the table and I thought to
myself, heather, you are soblessed.
Sometimes I get real anxious,heather, you are so blessed.
(11:00):
Sometimes I get real anxious.
And I'm a planner and Tyler is,to an extent, like, when it
comes to his field and his work,like everything is, he has to
be so OCD about it.
But when it comes to certainother things, I'm like why can't
(11:22):
he just plan this or pick thisup or do this?
And then I think you know hemay be a little exhausted too,
but at the end of the day hestill loves you and that is
enough.
You know You're fortunate ifyou're stepped into that part of
your life.
But let me tell you those thathaven't, once you get past the
(11:47):
roadblock to allow yourself tobe open and put yourself in
position, and I tell you thatGod's not putting someone for
you in a bar, he's not puttinghim out somewhere where God
wouldn't be If it's notGod-centered.
More than likely you're notgoing to find someone of God,
(12:13):
dive in to a church, dive in inworship, dive in in Sunday
school, dive in into placeswhere you associate yourself
with people of Christ, so thatyou have an opportunity for God
to give you that next step.
(12:33):
And if you're not doing thosethings, you can't think that God
is just going to send them outof nowhere into the alley that
you're standing in, because hedoesn't intend for you to be in
the alley, he intends for you tobe out front.
Healing wasn't overnight.
(13:01):
I brought some of that into ourmarriage and thank God for
Tyler's patience, because heallowed me to heal, he allowed
me to grow and there were things.
When you talk about forgiveness,it doesn't come all at once.
There's different stages offorgiveness and it is hard to
lay it all down.
I'm with you.
Forgiveness didn't come in onechurch service.
(13:23):
It was hard and it was humblingand it was holy, and I've used
that word a lot lately.
But something that God keepsbringing me back to is he is
holy and if he is in the picture, it is holy.
I had to forgive people whonever apologized.
I had to forgive myself forstaying too long, for not
(13:47):
leaving sooner, for not beingperfect, but Jesus whispered to
my heart over and over and overyou don't have to carry what I
already paid for and I would layit all back down.
I stopped picking it back upand I began walking in freedom,
(14:09):
in real honest breath in mylungs, tears on my cheeks,
freedom.
Can we talk about grace inaction for a second, because
that's what my marriage is.
Tyler's, not just my husband.
God knew I needed a safe place.
(14:30):
He knew that I needed ashoulder for tears and
unfortunately, a lot of thosetears were from old wounds
(14:52):
rising up, things.
They still come up, and God notonly provided in my marriage
those things, but he gavelaughter when life is heavy,
partner in parenting, in prayer,in all the things.
(15:17):
Jesus, tyler's not only my rock, because he just is who he is,
he's my rock because he'sstanding on the rock.
And that's what I desire foryou.
If you haven't stepped intoyour next relationship of love
(15:39):
and joy and peace and happiness,what I pray for you is whomever
God is preparing for you, thatyou are giving all of yourself
to Jesus right now, so that notonly he has a personal
relationship with you but he iscreating the desires of your
(16:05):
heart to match whom he'spreparing for you.
Tyler loves Jesus with a deepand steady fire.
There's times I question, is hein the word enough?
And then he'll spout offscripture to me like, yeah, are
you in the word enough, girl?
And then he'll spout offscripture to me like, yeah, are
you in the word enough, girl?
Because I am with it with Jesus, and we just kind of have that
relationship where it's just oneof those things and we will go
(16:27):
back and forth and then wegiggle because it's like okay,
we're still on the same pageBecause the desires of our heart
are the same.
Our goal is heaven.
He loves our family, likeChrist loves the church, and I
(16:49):
can't encourage that enough.
I'm not saying that you can'twalk into a rubble situation and
someone that's not seekingafter God can't become of God.
Okay, not telling you that, butwhat I am telling you is that
first priority needs to be howChrist loves the church, is whom
he and how he should love you.
(17:09):
He takes care of my mom anddaddy without being asked.
He grabs my hand in worship andspeaks truth when I want to
spiral out of control.
We've had some things this pastweek and I'm going to go into
another episode, but I just wantto tell you a little bit about
it.
I was praying just like so,intentionally, and I had a lot
(17:33):
of requests from friends andfamily to go out on a limb and
apply for a certain job, and inmy heart I knew that it wasn't
my seat.
I'm very prayerful and a lot oftimes I am thought to be a job
hopper in per se, but if youknow my journey and know my
heart, that's not it at all.
(17:54):
There's no job hop without Godrepositioning and I refuse to do
anything outside of His callingfor my life, and that's from
decisions from the bottom to thetop.
And so I was praying over thisand I just felt so compelled to
(18:16):
just do it and, part of myselfish human ways, I wanted to
walk in some anger when Ireceived that.
No, but what I had tounderstand is it wasn't about it
, it wasn't about me, it wasn'tabout Heather, wasn't about it.
(18:37):
It wasn't about me, it wasn'tabout Heather.
I still, guys, don't have a cluewhat it was about, honestly.
Um, I don't even have aresponse from the person I
interviewed with.
I do know that the other persongot it and I rejoice in his
divine and I believe that like.
I believe that that was alreadyset before I walked into the
room, that God had already had aplan for him, and so I'm not
(19:00):
faulting that.
But I am telling you thatobedience is so important.
God continues to bless me, ourmarriage and our family, even in
the hard times, because when Igo back it's rooted in Him.
(19:24):
So if you're in a broken seasonright now, let me just say this
to you this is not the end ofyour story.
Broken seasons do not meanbroken lives, and sometimes they
are just the soil where Godplants something new.
God brings different people inour lives for different seasons,
(19:47):
and I've heard that a lot oftimes when I would be really
upset when my friends wouldchange over the course of my
life.
But I look back and I think,thank you, god, thank you for
the seasonal friends, not that Iwasn't able to bring them to
the next season, but thank youfor the prayer warriors that I
had in the season that I was inthe midst of.
Some of those different seasonsbring blessings.
(20:12):
Some bring lessons, some bringheartbreak that turns into
ministry.
Some stretch us, humble us andleave us better.
They were only ever meant to bea chapter, not your forever.
(20:34):
Let go of what he's asking youto lay down and do not pick it
back up.
Let go of it, because what he'sbuilding in you is more
beautiful than you can imagine.
I'm going to challenge you.
What's the one thing you'vebeen holding onto from the ashes
?
The pain, the shame?
Is it the fear?
(20:55):
Is it bitterness?
Lay it down, make a list.
Make a list and you know what.
I'm not a box checker, I'm anoverdoer, but you check that box
today.
You lay it down, and lay itdown for good.
Don't drag it into the newthing God is doing.
It doesn't belong there,because God's already went
(21:17):
before you.
And if it's forgiveness that youneed to give, I encourage you
today.
You pray and you ask God togive you the courage and the
power to overcome, because I'mtelling you, once you forgive,
that burden's off of you.
It's not about you feeling good, it's about allowing yourself
(21:43):
the opportunity to move forwardin whatever Christ desires for
your heart.
And without forgiveness theremay not be room for that, and I
don't want you to miss out onsomething so amazing that you
can't even imagine, becauseyou've got old baggage that you
haven't left behind.
Let me pray for you today,jesus.
(22:04):
Thank you that you never leaveus in the fire, that you step
into the broken parts andbreathe new life.
I pray over the woman listeningright now whose heart is still
holding on to the ashes.
Remind her that you arerebuilding something beautiful.
Give her the courage tosurrender, the strength to
(22:26):
forgive and the hope to dreamagain.
Let her know she's not too fargone.
Let her know that you're in themidst of her story.
You have been in the rubble andyou have already interceded to
the Father for her.
In Jesus' name.
Amen, now, sis, listen to me.
In Jesus name.
(22:46):
Amen, now, sis, listen to me.
The only thing we get to taketo heaven is souls.
I encourage you, no matter ifit is your worst enemy, your
ex-husband, whomever,forgiveness and prayer, because
(23:07):
the best case scenario for anyof us is for all to fall in love
with Jesus and want His desirefor our hearts.
So let's love people well.
Let's stop hiding our scars andstart showing our Savior.
Let's walk in restoration soloudly that no one gets left
(23:28):
behind, because you, you are notthe ashes, you are the beauty,
and Jesus, he's in the midst.
I love y'all and I can't waitto share the next podcast with
you.
It's not as emotional, but itis real, and I am so excited as
to where we are headed on thisjourney together.
(23:48):
But I'm praying for you.
It's not as emotional, but itis real, and I am so excited as
to where we are headed on thisjourney together.
But I'm praying for you and Ithank you for listening.
Hey friends, I hope you're having an awesome day.
I got up thinking about thisrecording this morning and I
thought you know what, god, Iwant to choose joy today, even
though I'm exhausted and I'mtired from all the things we
moms do.
I want to choose you today, andso one of the things that I
(00:22):
really felt on my heart was hey,when you start in the midst,
let's pray over the messagerather than praying at the end.
And so today we're going tostart off in the midst, not only
talking about hope, but we'regoing to talk to God, and I want
(00:44):
to pray for you, and I alsowant to pray that my words are
of him and that I lead you tothe cross, not to my opinion,
not to what I think you need todo, but what God desires for you
.
So let's start that thismorning.
Dear Lord, thank you so much fordying on the cross, not only
(01:04):
for me, but for my friends.
God, not only for my friends,but the beggars and all of those
that choose against you everysingle day.
God, you didn't decide for one,for her, for him, you decided I
will die for all, no matterwhat.
I will die for all, no matterwhat.
And, god, I am so thankful thatyou do not see anything but us.
(01:31):
And God, we love you so muchand we are just so thankful for
the sacrifice that you havegiven already for us.
Lord, I ask you right nowthere's going to be some hard
conversation today.
There's going to be some tearsfrom my side and probably some
tears from the listeners thatare hearing your word.
But, god, I ask you right nowthat it is yours, not mine, god,
(01:56):
that you don't allow anythingto work into this podcast today
that you do not desire for thehearts of those who are
listening.
And, god, we thank you for notonly your faithfulness, but we
thank you for your grace, god,that you desire us to provide
(02:16):
forgiveness to others, so thatit allows us to step into
whatever you have ahead of us.
And, god, help me to open mindsand open eyes to you through
your word, and we love you andwe praise you in Jesus name.
Amen.
All right, so here we go andwe're going to dive right in,
(02:39):
and one of the things I want todo today is I'm going to talk a
lot slower than I've beentalking because we're going to
go to a part.
I know we've discussedbrokenness, and I know we talked
about the everyday mom life andthings that are happening and
make it chaotic.
But one thing that we have todo before moving forward in our
journeys is we have to removeall the baggage.
(03:01):
We got to take it off, we gotto lay it down, and that's going
to require more faith thanyou've ever had.
See, a lot of our baggage comesfrom past hurt and past
relationships.
It comes from friendships thatended.
It comes from church hurt.
It comes from all of thesethings that not only we have
(03:23):
stepped into, but God steppedinto it with us, whether we
invited him or not.
And here's the deal he can'tpush us forward if we want to
stay backwards, and he wants todo great things in our lives.
I'm telling you I don't have aperfect life.
My house is not always clean.
(03:44):
I don't do everything that istruly pleasing to Him, because
I'm human and I make mistakes.
I get angry at a softball gamequicker than anybody on the
field, and I don't have a dog inthe race.
I'm not the umpire, I'm not aplayer and I'm not even a coach
most of the time, but I'm human,and so one of those things that
(04:07):
I have to remind myself is hey,hey, you're not reflecting him,
you're not shining him, and soif you are being looked at right
now by someone who doesn't lovehim, could you lead him or her
to the cross?
But, guys, here's the deal.
Okay, let's really dive intosome things that have been
(04:28):
painful.
Sometimes it feels like it'sburned down all around us our
marriages, our plans, ourfamilies, even our identity.
But here's what I know withouta shadow of a doubt.
But here's what I know withouta shadow of a doubt.
We serve I serve a God whodoesn't walk away from the
(04:49):
rubble.
He steps right into it, hepicks up the ashes and somehow,
somehow, he starts buildingbeauty.
And I'm not talking about justa patch job, not a quick fix,
but a holy restoration, one thathe can only do.
(05:11):
Guys, if you want part of this,you got to open yourself right
now to allowing yourself.
Whatever the roadblock is, yougot to remove it.
I pray right now that the HolySpirit is aligning those things
up so you can say you got to go,you got to go.
(05:32):
I am able because God is able.
I can do these things.
Today, I'm going to share whatit looked like when God took my
mess and turned it into ministry, and I'm telling you, if he can
do that for me, he's not goingto leave you out, I promise.
(05:54):
This one is for the woman whofeels too far gone.
You feel too broken, you're tootired.
Let's take it to the Word,because one thing I like to do
is make sure that anything thatwe discuss on In the Mist is not
only fact, but you can find itin the Word.
(06:16):
Isaiah 61.3 says To bestow onthem a crown of beauty instead
of ashes, the oil of joy insteadof mourning, and a garment of
praise instead of a spirit ofdespair.
(06:37):
If that's what your soul needs,you're in the right place.
The burned down parts of my lifeI could strike a match, even
talking about it.
I've seen fire, not the kindyou call 911 for, the kind that
(07:01):
sits quietly in your home eatingaway at everything you thought
was safe.
There was a season where I felteverything in my life was
falling apart A marriage thatlooked good on paper but was
filled with pain, lies.
I didn't want to believe, butcouldn't deny Children who were
watching and waiting for a momthat felt like she was breaking
under the weight, a woman whoonce stood tall in her faith,
(07:26):
now hiding under shame, fear andexhaustion.
And I'll be honest, I asked Godmore than once where are you in
all of this?
I think I talked to you aboutthat when we talked about
brokenness.
Where are you, god?
Where are you, god?
But what I didn't realize atthe time is God wasn't standing
(07:49):
outside of those flames watchingme burn.
He was already gathering thetools to rebuild me.
Let that sink in.
He is such a good father thathe is so far ahead of us.
(08:13):
Even in our rubble, he'salready building our return.
But my turning point wasn't hey,god, I may need you.
Hey, god, I'm going to go andI'm going to play softball this
weekend and I'm not going tothink about you.
And, god, I'm going to go onthis date because, well, it just
feels right and this is whatI'm going to do.
And, god, I'm going to buy allthese things and put it on my
(08:33):
credit card because at somepoint somebody will pay for it.
No, that wasn't my turningpoint.
My turning point wasn't walkinginto work every day putting a
smile on my face and acting likenothing was wrong.
My turning point was choosing tosurrender.
You don't build or rebuild alife by accident.
(08:58):
You do it by surrender.
And this came slowly for me,even in the church office, in
altar calls I didn't plan torespond to, in lonely nights
where I cried out not evenknowing what I needed.
There came a moment when Ifinally stopped trying to make
(09:21):
it look all okay and I saidJesus, if you can do something
with this wreck, I'm all yoursand y'all.
He didn't just put me backtogether.
He gave me an entirely new life, and some of you are walking in
that new life right now.
But what's happening is you'restill carrying the baggage from
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the old life.
You're still laying down atnight and you're not laying down
the things that you need toleave at the altar.
You're still carrying thebaggage from the old life.
You're still carrying thebaggage.
You're bringing them to bedwith you.
You're waking up with them.
You're looking at your childrenand thinking, gosh, I got to
share them this weekend, I gotto do this, I got to do that.
But do you not realize that Godknew all those obstacles when
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he said surrender to me?
There came a moment when Godsaid enough's enough and y'all.
He didn't just put me backtogether.
He restored my motherhood, heredeemed my past and then, in
his wild and gracious timing, hegave Tyler.
(10:34):
I found myself this morning andthis is where I get emotional
and I'm really trying not to cry.
I really am.
But I was watching Tyler workat the table and I thought to
myself, heather, you are soblessed.
Sometimes I get real anxious,heather, you are so blessed.
(11:00):
Sometimes I get real anxious.
And I'm a planner and Tyler is,to an extent, like, when it
comes to his field and his work,like everything is, he has to
be so OCD about it.
But when it comes to certainother things, I'm like why can't
(11:22):
he just plan this or pick thisup or do this?
And then I think you know hemay be a little exhausted too,
but at the end of the day hestill loves you and that is
enough.
You know You're fortunate ifyou're stepped into that part of
your life.
But let me tell you those thathaven't, once you get past the
(11:47):
roadblock to allow yourself tobe open and put yourself in
position, and I tell you thatGod's not putting someone for
you in a bar, he's not puttinghim out somewhere where God
wouldn't be If it's notGod-centered.
More than likely you're notgoing to find someone of God,
(12:13):
dive in to a church, dive in inworship, dive in in Sunday
school, dive in into placeswhere you associate yourself
with people of Christ, so thatyou have an opportunity for God
to give you that next step.
(12:33):
And if you're not doing thosethings, you can't think that God
is just going to send them outof nowhere into the alley that
you're standing in, because hedoesn't intend for you to be in
the alley, he intends for you tobe out front.
Healing wasn't overnight.
(13:01):
I brought some of that into ourmarriage and thank God for
Tyler's patience, because heallowed me to heal, he allowed
me to grow and there were things.
When you talk about forgiveness,it doesn't come all at once.
There's different stages offorgiveness and it is hard to
lay it all down.
I'm with you.
Forgiveness didn't come in onechurch service.
(13:23):
It was hard and it was humblingand it was holy, and I've used
that word a lot lately.
But something that God keepsbringing me back to is he is
holy and if he is in the picture, it is holy.
I had to forgive people whonever apologized.
I had to forgive myself forstaying too long, for not
(13:47):
leaving sooner, for not beingperfect, but Jesus whispered to
my heart over and over and overyou don't have to carry what I
already paid for and I would layit all back down.
I stopped picking it back upand I began walking in freedom,
(14:09):
in real honest breath in mylungs, tears on my cheeks,
freedom.
Can we talk about grace inaction for a second, because
that's what my marriage is.
Tyler's, not just my husband.
God knew I needed a safe place.
(14:30):
He knew that I needed ashoulder for tears and
unfortunately, a lot of thosetears were from old wounds
(14:52):
rising up, things.
They still come up, and God notonly provided in my marriage
those things, but he gavelaughter when life is heavy,
partner in parenting, in prayer,in all the things.
(15:17):
Jesus, tyler's not only my rock, because he just is who he is,
he's my rock because he'sstanding on the rock.
And that's what I desire foryou.
If you haven't stepped intoyour next relationship of love
(15:39):
and joy and peace and happiness,what I pray for you is whomever
God is preparing for you, thatyou are giving all of yourself
to Jesus right now, so that notonly he has a personal
relationship with you but he iscreating the desires of your
(16:05):
heart to match whom he'spreparing for you.
Tyler loves Jesus with a deepand steady fire.
There's times I question, is hein the word enough?
And then he'll spout offscripture to me like, yeah, are
you in the word enough, girl?
And then he'll spout offscripture to me like, yeah, are
you in the word enough, girl?
Because I am with it with Jesus, and we just kind of have that
relationship where it's just oneof those things and we will go
(16:27):
back and forth and then wegiggle because it's like okay,
we're still on the same pageBecause the desires of our heart
are the same.
Our goal is heaven.
He loves our family, likeChrist loves the church, and I
(16:49):
can't encourage that enough.
I'm not saying that you can'twalk into a rubble situation and
someone that's not seekingafter God can't become of God.
Okay, not telling you that, butwhat I am telling you is that
first priority needs to be howChrist loves the church, is whom
he and how he should love you.
(17:09):
He takes care of my mom anddaddy without being asked.
He grabs my hand in worship andspeaks truth when I want to
spiral out of control.
We've had some things this pastweek and I'm going to go into
another episode, but I just wantto tell you a little bit about
it.
I was praying just like so,intentionally, and I had a lot
(17:33):
of requests from friends andfamily to go out on a limb and
apply for a certain job, and inmy heart I knew that it wasn't
my seat.
I'm very prayerful and a lot oftimes I am thought to be a job
hopper in per se, but if youknow my journey and know my
heart, that's not it at all.
(17:54):
There's no job hop without Godrepositioning and I refuse to do
anything outside of His callingfor my life, and that's from
decisions from the bottom to thetop.
And so I was praying over thisand I just felt so compelled to
(18:16):
just do it and, part of myselfish human ways, I wanted to
walk in some anger when Ireceived that.
No, but what I had tounderstand is it wasn't about it
, it wasn't about me, it wasn'tabout Heather, wasn't about it.
(18:37):
It wasn't about me, it wasn'tabout Heather.
I still, guys, don't have a cluewhat it was about, honestly.
Um, I don't even have aresponse from the person I
interviewed with.
I do know that the other persongot it and I rejoice in his
divine and I believe that like.
I believe that that was alreadyset before I walked into the
room, that God had already had aplan for him, and so I'm not
(19:00):
faulting that.
But I am telling you thatobedience is so important.
God continues to bless me, ourmarriage and our family, even in
the hard times, because when Igo back it's rooted in Him.
(19:24):
So if you're in a broken seasonright now, let me just say this
to you this is not the end ofyour story.
Broken seasons do not meanbroken lives, and sometimes they
are just the soil where Godplants something new.
God brings different people inour lives for different seasons,
(19:47):
and I've heard that a lot oftimes when I would be really
upset when my friends wouldchange over the course of my
life.
But I look back and I think,thank you, god, thank you for
the seasonal friends, not that Iwasn't able to bring them to
the next season, but thank youfor the prayer warriors that I
had in the season that I was inthe midst of.
Some of those different seasonsbring blessings.
(20:12):
Some bring lessons, some bringheartbreak that turns into
ministry.
Some stretch us, humble us andleave us better.
They were only ever meant to bea chapter, not your forever.
(20:34):
Let go of what he's asking youto lay down and do not pick it
back up.
Let go of it, because what he'sbuilding in you is more
beautiful than you can imagine.
I'm going to challenge you.
What's the one thing you'vebeen holding onto from the ashes
?
The pain, the shame?
Is it the fear?
(20:55):
Is it bitterness?
Lay it down, make a list.
Make a list and you know what.
I'm not a box checker, I'm anoverdoer, but you check that box
today.
You lay it down, and lay itdown for good.
Don't drag it into the newthing God is doing.
It doesn't belong there,because God's already went
(21:17):
before you.
And if it's forgiveness that youneed to give, I encourage you
today.
You pray and you ask God togive you the courage and the
power to overcome, because I'mtelling you, once you forgive,
that burden's off of you.
It's not about you feeling good, it's about allowing yourself
(21:43):
the opportunity to move forwardin whatever Christ desires for
your heart.
And without forgiveness theremay not be room for that, and I
don't want you to miss out onsomething so amazing that you
can't even imagine, becauseyou've got old baggage that you
haven't left behind.
Let me pray for you today,jesus.
(22:04):
Thank you that you never leaveus in the fire, that you step
into the broken parts andbreathe new life.
I pray over the woman listeningright now whose heart is still
holding on to the ashes.
Remind her that you arerebuilding something beautiful.
Give her the courage tosurrender, the strength to
(22:26):
forgive and the hope to dreamagain.
Let her know she's not too fargone.
Let her know that you're in themidst of her story.
You have been in the rubble andyou have already interceded to
the Father for her.
In Jesus' name.
Amen, now, sis, listen to me.
In Jesus name.
(22:46):
Amen, now, sis, listen to me.
The only thing we get to taketo heaven is souls.
I encourage you, no matter ifit is your worst enemy, your
ex-husband, whomever,forgiveness and prayer, because
(23:07):
the best case scenario for anyof us is for all to fall in love
with Jesus and want His desirefor our hearts.
So let's love people well.
Let's stop hiding our scars andstart showing our Savior.
Let's walk in restoration soloudly that no one gets left
(23:28):
behind, because you, you are notthe ashes, you are the beauty,
and Jesus, he's in the midst.
I love y'all and I can't waitto share the next podcast with
you.
It's not as emotional, but itis real, and I am so excited as
to where we are headed on thisjourney together.
(23:48):
But I'm praying for you.
It's not as emotional, but itis real, and I am so excited as
to where we are headed on thisjourney together.
But I'm praying for you and Ithank you for listening.
Host
Heather Cox
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