April 22, 2025 • 20 mins
Y’all, if you’ve ever packed 47 snacks, found a lost cleat in the driveway, and prayed for your sanity in a Chick-fil-A parking lot, you’re in the right place. I’m a sports-and-dance mom times four, and today we’re talking about how to keep Jesus in the center when life is anything but still.
We are a free Christian/Family podcast. However, with your support, we can further the kingdom and provide access to this podcast around the world. We appreciate you giving as it will be used for the kingdom. If you can't support monetarily, we ask you to pray that God continue to be the center of this mission and stories heard through this podcast are a reflection of his goodness. We are thankful for you tuning in and hope you find blessing, In the Midst. -Love HC
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Episode Transcript
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Heather C (00:01):
Hey friend and welcome back In the midst.
I'm your host, Heather Cox, andI am so excited to bring you
today's episode.
Episode two is Motherhood inthe Mayhem Finding Jesus Between
Ball Games and Burnout.
And when I say burnout, Ireally mean the laundry that's
piled up about tenfold behind me, that it's all over the dining
(00:24):
room table, and I'm really notsure why we call it the dining
room table, because nobody sitsat it but the cat and the
laundry.
However, if today feels likeyou're barely hanging your head
above that laundry, running fromball field to dance studio with
a cold coffee in your hand,this one's for you.
With a cold coffee in your hand, this one's for you Because,
(00:48):
mama, we're talking aboutreality of mom, guilt,
mismatched socks and theabsolute chaos of trying to
raise kids, love Jesus and notlose your mind in the process.
So let me start off by sayingthere are some days I'm barely
hanging on by a thread and ifI'm being honest, it's probably
a jersey string from that pileof laundry I forgot to fold
three days ago One of those sadlittle strings that has
(01:11):
someone's name on it andpermanent marker.
You know what I'm talking about.
We start off real good and thenit's looped around a rogue sock
that doesn't even belong tothis house, and if it does, I
haven't seen it in a while.
Can anyone relate?
Or is it just me?
And since we're talking laundry, let's go ahead and talk about
something and all of us knowabout.
(01:31):
I think us women could savecompanies millions just by
redesigning those pad insertsthat roll up tighter than a
burrito in the dryer.
One of my girls has fullcoverage and the other one looks
like it's on a prayer chain.
Trying to stuff that thing backin there feels like folding a
fitted sheet, blindfolded in awind tunnel.
And, guys, I don't know aboutyou, but if you are gifted
(01:53):
folding a fitted sheet, praisebe to god.
Because, let me tell you, I'mnot even trying.
However, ma'am, I did not signup for bra origami, but
meanwhile, beyond all that,we're out here juggling, travel,
baseball, softball tournaments,sometimes in different zip
codes.
On the same weekend, we gotpractices spread across the
(02:15):
entire state, extra lessons,workout with trainers, personal
workouts, and if you get toyours, I am giving you a shout
out because I'll go for three orfour days in a row and then I
ain't seen it in four or fiveweeks and my body is begging for
me to go back, but, girl, thatcookie dough is so good and I
(02:36):
just want to sit in the chairfor a minute.
However, let's not forget dancecompetitions, dance classes,
gymnastics, and where there aremore bobby pins flying than
actual people If we forget, ordon't forget, to put the bobby
pins in our hair.
Hmm, there's that.
And then let's not talk abouthomework, church service,
community service, and every nowand then I remember oh yeah,
(02:59):
all these people got to eat, andwho you think has to feed them.
Well, didn't I just make supperyesterday, or was that last
week?
Wasn't that enough?
And in the middle of all that,we're trying to keep our
marriage strong, our mind sound,and maybe, just maybe, sneak a
hot shower in without anaudience.
(03:19):
And let me just tell you, ifyou have a golden doodle of any
kind, that ain't happening.
No shower, no bathroom, no,nothing by yourself.
I love my kids, I do.
But let's be real.
This world has a way of makingyou feel like you've got to do
more.
You've got to be more.
Show up for everything, do itall, with a Pinterest-worthy
(03:42):
snack in one hand and a Bibleverse memorized in the other,
like you're auditioning forProverbs 31's highlight reel.
And don't get me wrong, I loveJesus and that is what this
entire podcast is about.
But, guys, does anybody elsefeel like they're falling short?
Or is it just me?
Because here's the truth.
(04:02):
I settled in my heart just this.
Jesus isn't asking for myperformance, he's asking for my
presence.
He's not keeping score of thecarpools, the snacks, or whether
Lucy's dance bun look like thePinterest tutorial I watched
seven times to try to get allher hair in one spot.
He just wants you In thestillness, in the chaos, in the
(04:26):
carpool line, at 748, and youknow, the tardy bell is about to
ring and you got three-day-olddry shampoo.
But your heart, you're tryingyour best and if today looked
more like a survival missionthan a Hallmark moment, grace,
grace, mama.
Give yourself grace, becauseJesus sees the heart behind the
(04:49):
hustle and he's not asking youto do it all, he's just asking
you to be with him in it all.
So, mama, here's the deal.
Okay, we're going to talk aboutthe reality of discipleship
Because, guess what, I have fourkids.
I don't know how many you have,but they're watching all the
(05:10):
time.
Do you hear me?
They are watching.
You don't have to be perfect toshow Jesus to your kids.
You don't have to nail everyideal moment to prove that
you're living out faith.
And guess what your kids seeyou.
They see when you'reoverwhelmed, when you're living
out faith.
And guess what your kids seeyou.
They see when you'reoverwhelmed, when you're burnt
out, when you're doing your bestin the chaos.
And that's where the realdiscipleship happens.
(05:34):
Take my daughter Avery, forexample.
She's 16.
Now she's one of the mostcreative people I know.
She's clumsy but, goodnessgracious, I've never seen
anybody that can't walk straightbut can dance and perform so
beautifully on a stage.
She has it to an art.
She's a dancer.
She's also the media guru atchurch.
(05:56):
She loves photography.
There are days when she'shelping out in different
situations and I'm running toone sports field and to the next
, and when she sees me praybefore we rush off to another
game or another event, she seesfaith in action.
She's watching me, even when Ifeel like I'm barely hanging on
by that jersey thread.
(06:19):
And then there's Molly.
She's 13 and it's a definitionof focus.
That kid has more determinationand focus than I've ever seen
in my life.
If there's a sport with a ballinvolved, molly's there.
She leads worship on Wednesday.
She is a golden child when itcomes to caring and loving
others.
Playing softball is one of herthings.
(06:42):
It's like she's auditioning forthe Olympics and she knows when
she messed up.
You don't have to tell her.
She wears it, she thinks aboutit, she strives to do better in
every situation.
But, guys, she's 13.
The real lessons Molly'slearning, not from the winning
and the trophies, because wedon't have a ton of those, but
from the times when I have tostop and admit I can't do it all
(07:05):
, but I, mom, have to lean onGod in this moment to get
through.
That's where Molly learns Will.
My eight-year-old bundle ofenergy.
He's all boy, the only boy offour kids, so you can only
imagine.
Super smart athletic lovesbaseball, loves basketball,
(07:25):
loves football.
And let me tell you this kidloves his mama.
I mean, he'll just look at mewith those big eyes and say I
love you.
And even on those days when I'mso exhausted and I feel like
I've messed up everything, it'shis heart that reminds me.
It's not about being perfect,it's about showing up, being
(07:46):
present and loving them throughit all.
And let me not forget Lucy,because you're going to hear
several stories in the upcomingepisodes about Lucy.
She's my hilarious daredevilwho's five?
She's redheaded.
And I mean, this girl keeps meon my toes.
The other day she waspretending to fly through the
house and I had to chase her, ofcourse, through the living room
(08:06):
, because if you don't do whatLucy says within the first five
requests of doing what Lucy says, she's not going to stop.
She may put a lego on the floorand you step on it and have to
figure out who put it there, butyou already know, so she will
get your attention.
But she's flying through thehouse and I'm chasing her
through the living room whiletrying not to break a sweat,
because, of course, I'm in themiddle of making dinner and
(08:29):
helping Will perfect his swingin the middle of the living room
.
But in the midst of it all, Ihave to remind myself Jesus is
in all of this.
He's in this chaos, he's in thelaughter, he's in the mess,
he's even in the tears I reallywant to cry that are behind my
eyelids, but I can't let them gobecause that shows failure.
Even if it looks like a circus,jesus is there.
(08:52):
And that pressure to be perfect, mama, oh, my goodness Y'all
the pressure to be perfect isreal.
The world tells us more thanever that we need to have it all
figured out the perfect job,the perfect house, the perfect
kids, the perfect Instagram feed, the perfect answers, the
perfect responses, the perfecttext messages to our friends.
(09:15):
Timely, because you know we getto every single one of them
every time they text us.
If you do, you are a superhero,because I do my best, but, guys
, it ain't happening.
I swear, I'm convinced there's ahidden agenda on Pinterest, a
conspiracy to make us feel likewe can do it all and need it all
and do it perfect.
To make us feel like we can doit all and need it all and do it
perfect.
But guess what?
(09:35):
Jesus never asked you to beperfect.
Jesus isn't looking forPinterest moms.
He's looking for present moms,moms who show up in the mess,
moms who press on even when itfeels like everything's falling
apart.
I can't even talk to youwithout skipping a word or two,
because I'm not perfect.
So here's the truth.
You don't need to have it alltogether.
(09:58):
You don't need a spotless house, you don't need a perfectly
curated life.
You don't need to have it allfigured out.
Jesus doesn't need you to beperfect.
He just needs you to show up,to be present right here, right
now.
It is so easy to fall into thistrap, isn't it?
That if we don't check everybox on our to-do list, and if
you've got a to-do list and evenremembered to take it into
(10:20):
Walmart when you were groceryshopping, praise be to you,
sister, because most of the timeI'll make one, either leaving
it on my desk or it's in the carseat when I get in the store.
So who took the time to make alist?
I did, but I didn't use it.
So, anyway, I'm just tellingyou that if we don't check every
box on our to-do list, wefailed.
That is a lie.
(10:41):
You are enough just as you are,and Jesus knows you're not
perfect, but he's still askingyou to bring your heart to him,
to show up in your mess and tolet him work on your
imperfections, because, guys,it's about presence, not
perfection.
Let me just remind you that I'mfar from perfect.
(11:01):
I mean, if you know me, you'realready aware of that piece of
information and I don't have totell you.
However, I mean, some days Ilook at myself and think how in
the world did I even make itthrough this day without
completely losing it, or did Ilose it and don't even realize
it's gone?
There are days I miss the mark,when I forget to pray with my
kids before bed, when I snap atthem in frustration because I'm
(11:23):
so overwhelmed and they've askedme the same question over and
over for the 47th hundredth time, or when I don't have energy to
even pretend I have it alltogether.
I just roll on.
You know those days when thehouse is a mess, your kids are
arguing, you realize it's dinnertime.
You forgot to thaw somethingout.
(11:44):
You feel like it's running onfumes.
I've had those days.
I walk in those days most ofthe time.
I've had weeks where it feelslike I'm just getting by, and
I'm sure you've had those daystoo, days when you look at
yourself in the mirror and thinkwhy can't I do this better?
Why am I so tired?
Why do I feel like I'm failing?
So-and-so has it all together.
(12:05):
She even fixed her hair andmakeup before she got to the car
line this morning.
The enemy loves to sneak induring those moments and tell us
that we're failing.
He wants us to believe the liethat we can't do it all.
Be it all and perfectly.
Hold it all together, thenwe're not enough.
But let me say it again, it isnot about perfection.
(12:28):
It is about being there, beingpresent in the mess, in the
chaos and in the moments whenyou feel like you can't get your
act together.
I promise you, your kids don'tneed you to be perfect.
They need you to show up.
I know I'm being repetitive,but it's so important for you to
nail this home so that yourecognize your worth.
They need you to show them thatfaith isn't just something you
(12:52):
do when things are good or wheneverything is Pinterest worthy
Heck, we probably need to justdelete that app altogether, but
the recipes are way too good atthe moment and when the laundry
is folded just so.
Faith is real.
It's lived out in the momentswhen everything's falling apart
and you're on your knees askingGod for the strength to keep
going.
(13:12):
Let me give you another exampleof Avery.
She's my 16 year old and, likeI said earlier, media guru.
The other day, she was helpingme set up something at home and
everything that could go wrong.
Did you know those moments?
I could feel my anxiety risingand the pressure mounting and I
snapped in frustration.
But in that moment I felt soguilty.
(13:34):
I thought to myself Heather,you should have been more
patient.
She is trying her best, she'sbeen to school all day, she just
picked up all your kids thisafternoon, so you didn't have to
go, and I'm losing it oversomething that doesn't even
matter.
And then I realized this iswhere the real lessons happen.
It's not in the flawlessmoments where everything's
(13:57):
perfect.
It's in the messy, stressful,imperfect moments where your
kids see you lean on God, wherethey see you show grace to
yourself and to them.
I quickly apologized to Averyand I took a deep breath and
finished the job.
And you know what that was?
A moment of real discipleship,because she saw me ask for
(14:18):
forgiveness, she saw me rely onJesus in the midst of a chaos
and she saw me, in a weak moment, able to overcome.
You see, when we have thosemoments of imperfection, when we
mess up, when we lose our cool,when things don't go according
to plan, it's the perfectopportunity to teach our kids
(14:39):
about grace, real grace, thekind of grace that says I'm
sorry, I messed up, but I'mstill loved and I'm worthy of
redemption.
And that's exactly the messagethey need to hear.
So let me ask you a questionwhen was the last time you felt
like you had it all together.
Probably never, right?
If you do, you might need tostart a podcast of your own, and
(15:03):
I need to be listening becauseI don't know how you do it.
Maybe you had a perfect morningonce, but by noon somebody
threw spaghetti on the wall.
Your teenager found herattitude and let me tell you a
real story.
The dog broke the chain and ranthrough town for several hours
while you're out trying to findhim, but little did you know he
went to the actual policestation of all places.
(15:25):
And then you get back home,stressed because you can't find
him.
Your husband informs you as youcome through the door that oh,
he's home.
Well, yay, I'm glad he camehome, but, lord, it took three
hours.
Oh no, he didn't come byhimself.
He got chased by the dogcatcher all the way to the door.
And when you think you'rereally going to catch a break
from the dog catcher becausehe's chased him home, by golly,
(15:46):
the dog catcher writes you aticket because he don't have no
leash.
But guess what?
He broke it.
It's just one of those days.
And then I'm serious.
That was a true story, story ofmy life.
However, at that point I'mthinking to myself.
It would have been a lotcheaper just to let the dog
catcher take him and me gore-adopt him a couple days later
(16:08):
, because that's one less mouthI would have to feed.
But him and me go readopt him acouple days later, because
that's one less mouth I wouldhave to feed.
But by golly, I love that dog,like we love our kids.
And here we are.
But it's okay to admit that wedon't have it all figured out.
None of us do.
We were never meant to have itall figured out.
We were never meant to beperfect.
We were meant to rely on Jesus.
(16:28):
That's why we're built the waywe are To let him fill in the
gaps when we fall short.
And we do fall short, mama, weall do.
But here's the beautiful partJesus is in there, he's in the
gaps, he's in the chaos and he'sin the mess.
I want you to think about thishave you ever seen someone try
to fill a jar with water butthey just keep pouring it and it
(16:52):
starts filling all over theedges?
Right, the water representsGod's love, his grace and His
strength, and the jar is us.
We're full of holes, imperfect,we have cracks.
We're never gonna holdeverything perfectly.
You know what happens.
That water His grace.
It spills out onto everyonearound us our kids, our family,
(17:14):
our friends.
We're not supposed to containall the perfection.
We're supposed to let His loveflow through us, even in our
imperfections.
I could get all caught up in thecomparison game, right, you
could too.
I could look at the moms whoseem to have it all together,
with their clean homes andorganized lives or really, it's
just where.
They took the picture and putit on social media, because if
(17:37):
they get the angle just right,we don't see all the mess behind
it.
But I've learned that's a trap,because the truth is we're all
just trying to get through eachday with our hearts aligned with
Jesus.
We're all doing our best, andour kids see that.
They see when we show up withfull hearts, even if we don't
have it all together, and that'sthe kind of faith that sticks
(17:58):
with them.
That's the kind of faith thatwill transform them.
The real impact we make on ourkids isn't about how many
trophies they collect or howmany awards we win.
It's about how we handle themess, how we respond to failure,
how we lean into God in ourexhaustion, how we extend grace
even when we feel unworthy of it.
(18:19):
Exhaustion.
How we extend grace even whenwe feel unworthy of it, that's
the faith our kids need to seethe real, the raw, beautiful
faith that says I'm not perfect,but I'm trusting God, with all
the mess and that's enough.
Let me give you a scripture Ifyou've got your Bibles, let's
turn to Galatians 6.9.
Let us not become wearyatians 6, 9.
(18:40):
Mama, I know you're tired.
I know you feel like you'vebeen carrying the weight of the
world, the weight of everyone'sneeds, the weight of your own
(19:01):
expectations, the weight ofeverything that's on your plate
right now.
And every time you talk aboutit to a friend, she's got way
more than you and comes backwith her list, and then you
don't know how to handle yoursor hers at the same time.
But this scripture is a promise.
You are sowing seeds, even whenit feels like chaos, even when
you can't see harvest yet, don'tgive up.
Keep planting.
God sees your effort, he seesyour heart and he's faithful to
(19:26):
bring forth a harvest at justthe right time.
You may not see it today andyou may not see it tomorrow, but
those seeds you're planting,they matter and they're growing.
So, mama, you're doing betterthan you think.
I know it's hard to see it inthe middle of the chaos, but God
is using you, he's using yourmess, he's using your heart,
(19:49):
your love, your presence to makean internal impact on your
kids' lives.
So don't give up, don't let thepressure of perfect hold you
back.
Keep showing up, keep loving,keep pressing on, because Jesus
is with you and his grace isenough.
Remember, you don't have to beperfect, you just have to be
(20:13):
present.
And when you show up for yourkids, showing them what it looks
like to trust God, to love him,to walk with Him, to praise Him
in that storm, you are doingthe most important thing you can
do.
Here's to grace, here's topresence and here's to the real,
messy, beautiful journey ofmotherhood, because we have to
(20:36):
remember he's in the midst.
See you next episode.
Hey friend and welcome back In the midst.
I'm your host, Heather Cox, andI am so excited to bring you
today's episode.
Episode two is Motherhood inthe Mayhem Finding Jesus Between
Ball Games and Burnout.
And when I say burnout, Ireally mean the laundry that's
piled up about tenfold behind me, that it's all over the dining
(00:24):
room table, and I'm really notsure why we call it the dining
room table, because nobody sitsat it but the cat and the
laundry.
However, if today feels likeyou're barely hanging your head
above that laundry, running fromball field to dance studio with
a cold coffee in your hand,this one's for you.
With a cold coffee in your hand, this one's for you Because,
(00:48):
mama, we're talking aboutreality of mom, guilt,
mismatched socks and theabsolute chaos of trying to
raise kids, love Jesus and notlose your mind in the process.
So let me start off by sayingthere are some days I'm barely
hanging on by a thread and ifI'm being honest, it's probably
a jersey string from that pileof laundry I forgot to fold
three days ago One of those sadlittle strings that has
(01:11):
someone's name on it andpermanent marker.
You know what I'm talking about.
We start off real good and thenit's looped around a rogue sock
that doesn't even belong tothis house, and if it does, I
haven't seen it in a while.
Can anyone relate?
Or is it just me?
And since we're talking laundry, let's go ahead and talk about
something and all of us knowabout.
(01:31):
I think us women could savecompanies millions just by
redesigning those pad insertsthat roll up tighter than a
burrito in the dryer.
One of my girls has fullcoverage and the other one looks
like it's on a prayer chain.
Trying to stuff that thing backin there feels like folding a
fitted sheet, blindfolded in awind tunnel.
And, guys, I don't know aboutyou, but if you are gifted
(01:53):
folding a fitted sheet, praisebe to god.
Because, let me tell you, I'mnot even trying.
However, ma'am, I did not signup for bra origami, but
meanwhile, beyond all that,we're out here juggling, travel,
baseball, softball tournaments,sometimes in different zip
codes.
On the same weekend, we gotpractices spread across the
(02:15):
entire state, extra lessons,workout with trainers, personal
workouts, and if you get toyours, I am giving you a shout
out because I'll go for three orfour days in a row and then I
ain't seen it in four or fiveweeks and my body is begging for
me to go back, but, girl, thatcookie dough is so good and I
(02:36):
just want to sit in the chairfor a minute.
However, let's not forget dancecompetitions, dance classes,
gymnastics, and where there aremore bobby pins flying than
actual people If we forget, ordon't forget, to put the bobby
pins in our hair.
Hmm, there's that.
And then let's not talk abouthomework, church service,
community service, and every nowand then I remember oh yeah,
(02:59):
all these people got to eat, andwho you think has to feed them.
Well, didn't I just make supperyesterday, or was that last
week?
Wasn't that enough?
And in the middle of all that,we're trying to keep our
marriage strong, our mind sound,and maybe, just maybe, sneak a
hot shower in without anaudience.
(03:19):
And let me just tell you, ifyou have a golden doodle of any
kind, that ain't happening.
No shower, no bathroom, no,nothing by yourself.
I love my kids, I do.
But let's be real.
This world has a way of makingyou feel like you've got to do
more.
You've got to be more.
Show up for everything, do itall, with a Pinterest-worthy
(03:42):
snack in one hand and a Bibleverse memorized in the other,
like you're auditioning forProverbs 31's highlight reel.
And don't get me wrong, I loveJesus and that is what this
entire podcast is about.
But, guys, does anybody elsefeel like they're falling short?
Or is it just me?
Because here's the truth.
(04:02):
I settled in my heart just this.
Jesus isn't asking for myperformance, he's asking for my
presence.
He's not keeping score of thecarpools, the snacks, or whether
Lucy's dance bun look like thePinterest tutorial I watched
seven times to try to get allher hair in one spot.
He just wants you In thestillness, in the chaos, in the
(04:26):
carpool line, at 748, and youknow, the tardy bell is about to
ring and you got three-day-olddry shampoo.
But your heart, you're tryingyour best and if today looked
more like a survival missionthan a Hallmark moment, grace,
grace, mama.
Give yourself grace, becauseJesus sees the heart behind the
(04:49):
hustle and he's not asking youto do it all, he's just asking
you to be with him in it all.
So, mama, here's the deal.
Okay, we're going to talk aboutthe reality of discipleship
Because, guess what, I have fourkids.
I don't know how many you have,but they're watching all the
(05:10):
time.
Do you hear me?
They are watching.
You don't have to be perfect toshow Jesus to your kids.
You don't have to nail everyideal moment to prove that
you're living out faith.
And guess what your kids seeyou.
They see when you'reoverwhelmed, when you're living
out faith.
And guess what your kids seeyou.
They see when you'reoverwhelmed, when you're burnt
out, when you're doing your bestin the chaos.
And that's where the realdiscipleship happens.
(05:34):
Take my daughter Avery, forexample.
She's 16.
Now she's one of the mostcreative people I know.
She's clumsy but, goodnessgracious, I've never seen
anybody that can't walk straightbut can dance and perform so
beautifully on a stage.
She has it to an art.
She's a dancer.
She's also the media guru atchurch.
(05:56):
She loves photography.
There are days when she'shelping out in different
situations and I'm running toone sports field and to the next
, and when she sees me praybefore we rush off to another
game or another event, she seesfaith in action.
She's watching me, even when Ifeel like I'm barely hanging on
by that jersey thread.
(06:19):
And then there's Molly.
She's 13 and it's a definitionof focus.
That kid has more determinationand focus than I've ever seen
in my life.
If there's a sport with a ballinvolved, molly's there.
She leads worship on Wednesday.
She is a golden child when itcomes to caring and loving
others.
Playing softball is one of herthings.
(06:42):
It's like she's auditioning forthe Olympics and she knows when
she messed up.
You don't have to tell her.
She wears it, she thinks aboutit, she strives to do better in
every situation.
But, guys, she's 13.
The real lessons Molly'slearning, not from the winning
and the trophies, because wedon't have a ton of those, but
from the times when I have tostop and admit I can't do it all
(07:05):
, but I, mom, have to lean onGod in this moment to get
through.
That's where Molly learns Will.
My eight-year-old bundle ofenergy.
He's all boy, the only boy offour kids, so you can only
imagine.
Super smart athletic lovesbaseball, loves basketball,
(07:25):
loves football.
And let me tell you this kidloves his mama.
I mean, he'll just look at mewith those big eyes and say I
love you.
And even on those days when I'mso exhausted and I feel like
I've messed up everything, it'shis heart that reminds me.
It's not about being perfect,it's about showing up, being
(07:46):
present and loving them throughit all.
And let me not forget Lucy,because you're going to hear
several stories in the upcomingepisodes about Lucy.
She's my hilarious daredevilwho's five?
She's redheaded.
And I mean, this girl keeps meon my toes.
The other day she waspretending to fly through the
house and I had to chase her, ofcourse, through the living room
(08:06):
, because if you don't do whatLucy says within the first five
requests of doing what Lucy says, she's not going to stop.
She may put a lego on the floorand you step on it and have to
figure out who put it there, butyou already know, so she will
get your attention.
But she's flying through thehouse and I'm chasing her
through the living room whiletrying not to break a sweat,
because, of course, I'm in themiddle of making dinner and
(08:29):
helping Will perfect his swingin the middle of the living room
.
But in the midst of it all, Ihave to remind myself Jesus is
in all of this.
He's in this chaos, he's in thelaughter, he's in the mess,
he's even in the tears I reallywant to cry that are behind my
eyelids, but I can't let them gobecause that shows failure.
Even if it looks like a circus,jesus is there.
(08:52):
And that pressure to be perfect, mama, oh, my goodness Y'all
the pressure to be perfect isreal.
The world tells us more thanever that we need to have it all
figured out the perfect job,the perfect house, the perfect
kids, the perfect Instagram feed, the perfect answers, the
perfect responses, the perfecttext messages to our friends.
(09:15):
Timely, because you know we getto every single one of them
every time they text us.
If you do, you are a superhero,because I do my best, but, guys
, it ain't happening.
I swear, I'm convinced there's ahidden agenda on Pinterest, a
conspiracy to make us feel likewe can do it all and need it all
and do it perfect.
To make us feel like we can doit all and need it all and do it
perfect.
But guess what?
(09:35):
Jesus never asked you to beperfect.
Jesus isn't looking forPinterest moms.
He's looking for present moms,moms who show up in the mess,
moms who press on even when itfeels like everything's falling
apart.
I can't even talk to youwithout skipping a word or two,
because I'm not perfect.
So here's the truth.
You don't need to have it alltogether.
(09:58):
You don't need a spotless house, you don't need a perfectly
curated life.
You don't need to have it allfigured out.
Jesus doesn't need you to beperfect.
He just needs you to show up,to be present right here, right
now.
It is so easy to fall into thistrap, isn't it?
That if we don't check everybox on our to-do list, and if
you've got a to-do list and evenremembered to take it into
(10:20):
Walmart when you were groceryshopping, praise be to you,
sister, because most of the timeI'll make one, either leaving
it on my desk or it's in the carseat when I get in the store.
So who took the time to make alist?
I did, but I didn't use it.
So, anyway, I'm just tellingyou that if we don't check every
box on our to-do list, wefailed.
That is a lie.
(10:41):
You are enough just as you are,and Jesus knows you're not
perfect, but he's still askingyou to bring your heart to him,
to show up in your mess and tolet him work on your
imperfections, because, guys,it's about presence, not
perfection.
Let me just remind you that I'mfar from perfect.
(11:01):
I mean, if you know me, you'realready aware of that piece of
information and I don't have totell you.
However, I mean, some days Ilook at myself and think how in
the world did I even make itthrough this day without
completely losing it, or did Ilose it and don't even realize
it's gone?
There are days I miss the mark,when I forget to pray with my
kids before bed, when I snap atthem in frustration because I'm
(11:23):
so overwhelmed and they've askedme the same question over and
over for the 47th hundredth time, or when I don't have energy to
even pretend I have it alltogether.
I just roll on.
You know those days when thehouse is a mess, your kids are
arguing, you realize it's dinnertime.
You forgot to thaw somethingout.
(11:44):
You feel like it's running onfumes.
I've had those days.
I walk in those days most ofthe time.
I've had weeks where it feelslike I'm just getting by, and
I'm sure you've had those daystoo, days when you look at
yourself in the mirror and thinkwhy can't I do this better?
Why am I so tired?
Why do I feel like I'm failing?
So-and-so has it all together.
(12:05):
She even fixed her hair andmakeup before she got to the car
line this morning.
The enemy loves to sneak induring those moments and tell us
that we're failing.
He wants us to believe the liethat we can't do it all.
Be it all and perfectly.
Hold it all together, thenwe're not enough.
But let me say it again, it isnot about perfection.
(12:28):
It is about being there, beingpresent in the mess, in the
chaos and in the moments whenyou feel like you can't get your
act together.
I promise you, your kids don'tneed you to be perfect.
They need you to show up.
I know I'm being repetitive,but it's so important for you to
nail this home so that yourecognize your worth.
They need you to show them thatfaith isn't just something you
(12:52):
do when things are good or wheneverything is Pinterest worthy
Heck, we probably need to justdelete that app altogether, but
the recipes are way too good atthe moment and when the laundry
is folded just so.
Faith is real.
It's lived out in the momentswhen everything's falling apart
and you're on your knees askingGod for the strength to keep
going.
(13:12):
Let me give you another exampleof Avery.
She's my 16 year old and, likeI said earlier, media guru.
The other day, she was helpingme set up something at home and
everything that could go wrong.
Did you know those moments?
I could feel my anxiety risingand the pressure mounting and I
snapped in frustration.
But in that moment I felt soguilty.
(13:34):
I thought to myself Heather,you should have been more
patient.
She is trying her best, she'sbeen to school all day, she just
picked up all your kids thisafternoon, so you didn't have to
go, and I'm losing it oversomething that doesn't even
matter.
And then I realized this iswhere the real lessons happen.
It's not in the flawlessmoments where everything's
(13:57):
perfect.
It's in the messy, stressful,imperfect moments where your
kids see you lean on God, wherethey see you show grace to
yourself and to them.
I quickly apologized to Averyand I took a deep breath and
finished the job.
And you know what that was?
A moment of real discipleship,because she saw me ask for
(14:18):
forgiveness, she saw me rely onJesus in the midst of a chaos
and she saw me, in a weak moment, able to overcome.
You see, when we have thosemoments of imperfection, when we
mess up, when we lose our cool,when things don't go according
to plan, it's the perfectopportunity to teach our kids
(14:39):
about grace, real grace, thekind of grace that says I'm
sorry, I messed up, but I'mstill loved and I'm worthy of
redemption.
And that's exactly the messagethey need to hear.
So let me ask you a questionwhen was the last time you felt
like you had it all together.
Probably never, right?
If you do, you might need tostart a podcast of your own, and
(15:03):
I need to be listening becauseI don't know how you do it.
Maybe you had a perfect morningonce, but by noon somebody
threw spaghetti on the wall.
Your teenager found herattitude and let me tell you a
real story.
The dog broke the chain and ranthrough town for several hours
while you're out trying to findhim, but little did you know he
went to the actual policestation of all places.
(15:25):
And then you get back home,stressed because you can't find
him.
Your husband informs you as youcome through the door that oh,
he's home.
Well, yay, I'm glad he camehome, but, lord, it took three
hours.
Oh no, he didn't come byhimself.
He got chased by the dogcatcher all the way to the door.
And when you think you'rereally going to catch a break
from the dog catcher becausehe's chased him home, by golly,
(15:46):
the dog catcher writes you aticket because he don't have no
leash.
But guess what?
He broke it.
It's just one of those days.
And then I'm serious.
That was a true story, story ofmy life.
However, at that point I'mthinking to myself.
It would have been a lotcheaper just to let the dog
catcher take him and me gore-adopt him a couple days later
(16:08):
, because that's one less mouthI would have to feed.
But him and me go readopt him acouple days later, because
that's one less mouth I wouldhave to feed.
But by golly, I love that dog,like we love our kids.
And here we are.
But it's okay to admit that wedon't have it all figured out.
None of us do.
We were never meant to have itall figured out.
We were never meant to beperfect.
We were meant to rely on Jesus.
(16:28):
That's why we're built the waywe are To let him fill in the
gaps when we fall short.
And we do fall short, mama, weall do.
But here's the beautiful partJesus is in there, he's in the
gaps, he's in the chaos and he'sin the mess.
I want you to think about thishave you ever seen someone try
to fill a jar with water butthey just keep pouring it and it
(16:52):
starts filling all over theedges?
Right, the water representsGod's love, his grace and His
strength, and the jar is us.
We're full of holes, imperfect,we have cracks.
We're never gonna holdeverything perfectly.
You know what happens.
That water His grace.
It spills out onto everyonearound us our kids, our family,
(17:14):
our friends.
We're not supposed to containall the perfection.
We're supposed to let His loveflow through us, even in our
imperfections.
I could get all caught up in thecomparison game, right, you
could too.
I could look at the moms whoseem to have it all together,
with their clean homes andorganized lives or really, it's
just where.
They took the picture and putit on social media, because if
(17:37):
they get the angle just right,we don't see all the mess behind
it.
But I've learned that's a trap,because the truth is we're all
just trying to get through eachday with our hearts aligned with
Jesus.
We're all doing our best, andour kids see that.
They see when we show up withfull hearts, even if we don't
have it all together, and that'sthe kind of faith that sticks
(17:58):
with them.
That's the kind of faith thatwill transform them.
The real impact we make on ourkids isn't about how many
trophies they collect or howmany awards we win.
It's about how we handle themess, how we respond to failure,
how we lean into God in ourexhaustion, how we extend grace
even when we feel unworthy of it.
(18:19):
Exhaustion.
How we extend grace even whenwe feel unworthy of it, that's
the faith our kids need to seethe real, the raw, beautiful
faith that says I'm not perfect,but I'm trusting God, with all
the mess and that's enough.
Let me give you a scripture Ifyou've got your Bibles, let's
turn to Galatians 6.9.
Let us not become wearyatians 6, 9.
(18:40):
Mama, I know you're tired.
I know you feel like you'vebeen carrying the weight of the
world, the weight of everyone'sneeds, the weight of your own
(19:01):
expectations, the weight ofeverything that's on your plate
right now.
And every time you talk aboutit to a friend, she's got way
more than you and comes backwith her list, and then you
don't know how to handle yoursor hers at the same time.
But this scripture is a promise.
You are sowing seeds, even whenit feels like chaos, even when
you can't see harvest yet, don'tgive up.
Keep planting.
God sees your effort, he seesyour heart and he's faithful to
(19:26):
bring forth a harvest at justthe right time.
You may not see it today andyou may not see it tomorrow, but
those seeds you're planting,they matter and they're growing.
So, mama, you're doing betterthan you think.
I know it's hard to see it inthe middle of the chaos, but God
is using you, he's using yourmess, he's using your heart,
(19:49):
your love, your presence to makean internal impact on your
kids' lives.
So don't give up, don't let thepressure of perfect hold you
back.
Keep showing up, keep loving,keep pressing on, because Jesus
is with you and his grace isenough.
Remember, you don't have to beperfect, you just have to be
(20:13):
present.
And when you show up for yourkids, showing them what it looks
like to trust God, to love him,to walk with Him, to praise Him
in that storm, you are doingthe most important thing you can
do.
Here's to grace, here's topresence and here's to the real,
messy, beautiful journey ofmotherhood, because we have to
(20:36):
remember he's in the midst.
See you next episode.
Host
Heather Cox
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