January 15, 2025 • 36 mins
[It's the Little Things: A Conversation about Accessibility Annoyances]
In this episode, we dive into the shared yet unique experiences of navigating life with disabilities. While our individual journeys differ in onset and nature, we all agree on one thing: life is never boring. From the amusing to the absurd, we unpack the well-meaning but misguided comments, awkward encounters, and everyday frustrations that come with living in a world that doesn’t always get it. Join us as we share personal stories, reflect on these "little things," and prove that a sense of humor isn’t just helpful—it’s essential.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Amber (00:00):
Welcome to Including you a podcast by Disability Rights
Arkansas.
On this podcast, we shine alight on the real everyday
experiences of people withdisabilities the challenges,
triumphs and all the moments inbetween.
At Disability Rights Arkansas,we're committed to providing
guidance to people withdisabilities on navigating their
(00:22):
rights, tackling everydayissues and accessing the support
they need in a complex world.
In this podcast, including you,we bring that information
directly to you, the listener.
We'll cover topics likeaccessibility questions,
building your career, securingthe care you deserve and even
(00:44):
navigating the nuances of loveand relationships as a person
with a disability, becauseeveryone has the right to know
their rights Everyone, includingyou.
So, whether you're a seasonedadvocate or someone just
starting to think differentlyabout disability, you're in the
right place.
I'm your host, amber Quaid, andtogether we'll explore how small
(01:06):
meaningful changes can make abig difference.
Let's dive in.
So I want to start off bysaying in this podcast, we're
going to do things a little bitdifferent.
Usually it is led by the host,but we're changing things up a
little bit and letting this be aself-led session with three of
(01:27):
our Disability Rights Arkansasstaff members talking about
situations that relate to thempersonally.
We want to give them a voiceand an opportunity to have a
discussion with you.
So in today's podcast, theywill be their own hosts.
Take it away, molly.
Mollie (01:48):
Hi everyone.
I'm Molly Hernandez and I'm anadvocate here at Disability
Rights Arkansas, working on theemployment team.
I'm also a person with adisability.
I have a condition known asretinitis pigmentosa and a rare
form of that that's called conerod dystrophy.
That has resulted in right nowI have really only light
(02:10):
perception.
I'm blind, with only lightperception, but for many years
of my life I dealt with lowvision, vision impairment, so
for more than half of my lifeI've been a person with a
disability.
I'm also a wife In fact, by thetime this airs, I will have
just celebrated my 24th weddinganniversary and I'm a mom to two
amazing teenagers.
(02:31):
I have an 18-year-old son and a16-year-old daughter, who are
just fantastic and a ton of fun,and they have never known me
other than as a mom.
That just happens to be blind.
So that's just part of thedynamic of our family.
I'm also a handler of a guidedog.
I have a seeing eye dog.
That's a German Shepherd, hisname is Boomer and he is with me
(02:54):
through all of life'sadventures.
So and I'll talk a little bitabout him later today, but
before that I want to introduceyou to my friend and coworker,
wednesday Kramer.
Wensday (03:10):
Hi everyone.
My name is Wednesday Kramer,and I know what you're thinking.
Was she born on a Wednesday?
No, I was not.
My name actually comes from theAdams family.
I too, here, am an advocate atDisability Rights Arkansas on
our employment team.
I'm very passionate aboutemployment and financial freedom
, as I too, too, am a personwith a disability.
I was born with spina bifidaand so, basically, the nerves
(03:31):
that were supposed to go to mylegs didn't, and so I use a
wheelchair full time, and I'vehad to navigate the world living
with a disability my whole life, which comes with some
interesting stories, some ofwhich I'll bring up today and
next.
The last person we have tointroduce is our amazing
(03:52):
coworker, jennifer Goodwin.
Jen (03:54):
Hey guys, I'm Jen and I also am a person with a
disability of spinal cord injuryand after my injury I, as I
like to say, got bored anddecided to go to law school.
So I'm an attorney here withDisability Rights as well and
actually love helping otherpeople get back to work or get
back to school, whatever thesituation is post-injury or
(04:17):
disability, whatever they arefacing in life.
But I have two boys, so I'm boymom through and through.
I've got a nine-year-old and athree-year-old and, like Molly,
I have a dog, except he doesabsolutely nothing for me,
except he's just a lot of funand really cute.
So, anyway, lots and lots offun funny stories that have
(04:40):
happened along the way.
I'm amazed at the things thatpeople say, and both good and
just really comical along theway, and I say all the time that
if you're going to have adisability, you also better have
a really good sense of humorbecause life is coming hard and
fast a lot and it's a lot of fun.
Mollie (05:00):
Yes.
So that absolutely brings us towhat we're really going to be
discussing today.
And you know, as we've eachdisclosed, we each have a
disability and you know they'revery different in their onset
and their nature, but what weall have in common is that life
is never dull.
We have a lot of interestingmoments.
We have a lot of frustrationsas well, but I think we've all
(05:22):
learned to kind of deal withthose as they come.
And you know, just know, that,like Jen said, you got to have a
sense of humor to live lifewith a disability and know
people are going to say or dothe strangest, funniest, most
absurd things in our presence,and some of those things we're
just going to talk about today.
(05:43):
Let's just get it all out inthe open and talk about the
little things.
So first off, I think maybelet's just kind of jump into
what is like the most commonthing you hear when you're out
in public, the one that you werelike if I had a nickel for
every time I heard it.
That's the one that you want totalk about.
(06:05):
So, wednesday, what's yours?
Wensday (06:09):
I would say, even as an adult, a grown adult, the
biggest thing.
Well, I think there's two forme.
The first is that's just kindof funny is how fast does that
thing go?
They'd use an electricwheelchair and so I can be
pretty fast going down an aisle.
You know, I'm on a mission whenI'm shopping to like get what I
(06:29):
need to get and get out, and soI often am asked how fast does
that thing go?
And then kind of on the otherend a little less funny and
interesting I get asked iswhat's wrong with you?
Often how time people phrase it, and I get that too.
So if I had money for each timesomeone said one of those two
things, I would be very rich andprobably wouldn't have to work.
Mollie (06:54):
Jen, what about?
Jen (06:55):
you Well, like Wednesday, I often hear something similar,
but it's do you want to race?
And then the other thing, andyou know, sometimes that answer
is yes, absolutely.
I want to race and I fullyintend to win every race that
I'm in.
But also the other thing that Ihear is people who are walking
(07:17):
and look at me and say that it'sno fair that I have a chair,
and they wish that they had onelike that that they got to use
instead.
Mollie (07:26):
And so I was always like well, let's trade places, let's
do that, yeah, I think I thinkthat happens a lot that the
comments that are meant to be,you know, well-meaning or and
they just they kind of fall flaton.
On some of those, I can tellyou my most common one and I
always giggle.
As I said before, I'm blind, soI use a seeing eye dog and when
(07:51):
we're out and about people,inevitably and just FYI, just as
a little bit of a teachablemoment here when you see someone
with a guide dog and they'reworking out in public, don't
walk up to the dog.
You need to ignore them,address the person.
But of course, inevitably whenI'm out, someone's going to walk
up to my dog and my dog's notgoing to approach the person.
(08:14):
It's when the person approacheshim they'll put their hands out
, let him sniff and be like oh,you smell my puppy, don't you?
I hear that every day that I'mout.
You smell my puppy, don't you?
So it's kind of a running jokein my household on that one.
And then kind of back to whatJen was saying.
You know, that's my funny one,you know, and there are so many
(08:34):
funny ones.
Oh, I do need to tell this one.
We were in Disney World onetime and I was walking, my
husband had the double strollerwith the children and I was
working with a previous guidedog and a lady you know was
approaching us and she said oh,what a beautiful service animal.
And my son, who was you knowlike three or four, stood up and
was like he is not a circusanimal, he's a seeing eye dog.
(08:57):
So, you know, we're all used topeople commenting on the dog
when we're out and about.
Another thing that I get and,jen, I'm curious if you get the
same thing when I'm out andabout with my children, and this
is one that the intent is sowell-meaning, people are trying
to compliment my kids.
But they'll come up to mychildren and say you do such a
(09:17):
good job taking care of yourmommy.
Look at you helping your mommy,taking care of her.
And that one that one alwaysgets me because, I mean, my
children rely on a blind womanto find the most obvious things
in our household.
So the fact that they're takingcare of me is kind of a big
joke, but they are amazing helps.
(09:39):
So, jen, do you ever get thatwhen you're out and about?
Jen (09:41):
I do get it a lot, but usually it's pretty well-meaning
in that they're seeing himopening doors for me or that
sort of thing.
But on the flip side of it Iusually have one three-year-old
in my lap and one nine-year-oldriding on the back of me, so
it's usually pretty obvious thatI'm carrying them most of the
(10:04):
time.
But my older son especially isreally good about opening doors
for everyone and, you know,making sure that he's the last
one through.
One of the little things thatwe've talked about before is
that I always appreciate whensomeone opens the door for me.
While I can do it, I appreciatethe help, just like I did
(10:24):
before my injury.
But when you open a door forsomeone using a wheelchair,
please step out of the way ofthe door so that I don't run
over your feet or have to try tosuck it in somehow to try to
get through a doorway becauseit's not happening.
So that's one of the thingsthat I've noticed.
(10:45):
That happens to me all the timeis that people want to open a
door but stand right in themiddle of the doorway so I can't
actually get through it.
Wensday (10:53):
Jen, I get you with the door thing.
I feel like every time someonetries to open a door for me, I
have to explain to them how toopen the door Again.
Be on the outside, not in themiddle.
I don't want to run anyone over.
I'm thankful when people do it,but again, please stand on the
outside of the door.
I don't have kids myself, atleast not yet, but something
(11:18):
that kind of does happen to mein a similar vein is I'm a very
social person.
I like going out to eat and I'mdoing things with my friends
and family.
My friends and family and Ioften, when I'm in a crowd of
multiple people, will not bespoken to.
(11:38):
Someone will look at someoneelse next to me and be like oh,
you know, like you know what isyou know?
Amber (11:42):
what do y'all?
Wensday (11:43):
want and it's like oh, like you know, I know what I
want, I can definitely order or,you know, ask for whatever.
I need to compensate that tosome degree.
Like, when I'm at a restaurantwith a group of people, I will
like be the first one to be likeoh, I would like this, please.
And like speak first, so thatway they understand they can
speak with me.
So you know, just something toconsider if you're in the
(12:05):
service industry, speak to theperson with the disability,
speak to you know everyone likeyou would anyone else, because
they know what they want andthey should be asked.
Mollie (12:19):
And that's something I've encountered.
And it's a little trickier forme because oftentimes I'm
because I'm blind I'll miss thatvisual cue of when, like, the
server is making eye contactwith everyone around the table
or even just comes to the tablefor the first time.
If it's a noisy environment,I'm not going to catch that.
And I used to laugh kind ofearly on in my vision loss when
(12:39):
we were all kind of learning howto navigate it and figure it
out.
You know, my family would, Iguess, try and make it a little
less awkward for me and whisperyou know she's, she's blind.
You know, trying to.
You know I finally got to thepoint where I was like oh my God
, I am what.
So you know, it's one of thosethings I think everyone's trying
to figure out how to be themost polite.
(13:03):
And Wednesday's right Just talkto us, just ask us.
If it appears that I haven'tacknowledged you, you know it's
okay to.
You know, just address me.
You know, touch me on theshoulder.
Not everyone's going to want tobe touched without permission.
But if you think I've notacknowledged you, that's fine.
You know, let me know thatyou're there, I think that
brings up a good point too.
Wensday (13:24):
Like how do we want to be, like, respected in public?
And just ask us you don't haveto necessarily, you know find
the right words, you know belike how can I assist you?
And let us tell you how we, youcan assist us if we need that
assistance.
Don't assume A, don't assumethat we need assistance and B
(13:44):
ask us how we would like to beassisted.
So a lot of times verywell-meaning people try to help
me and you know sometimes thehelp is not helpful and so
definitely ask us how, if weneed to be assisted and how we
could be assisted.
Jen (14:01):
And if your kids have questions about why I have a
wheelchair or what I'm doingwith that, let them ask me and
if I have the time at all, youknow, sometimes I'm in a rush
and I'm trying to get in and outof where I'm going, but 99% of
the time I am more than happy tohave that conversation,
especially with a kid.
But don't just silence them andmake this disability seem like
(14:24):
it's something unapproachable,like I'm unapproachable because
of my disability, because I'mmore than happy to talk to kids
and if my kids are with me, thena lot of times I will give them
the power to do that and I letthem have that conversation.
So they're getting to say youknow, even my three-year-old
will say well, my mommy's spinalcord doesn't work and so she
can't walk because her corddoesn't work like ours does, and
(14:47):
so I think it's fun to give himthe autonomy to say that, but
then also just to have thoseconversations with children to
normalize disability and justexplain.
You know, I used to be able towalk but I can't because I had
an injury and now I use thischair and my big rule is that I
don't let anyone touch thebuttons on my chair because I
(15:08):
don't want to run over anyone.
I don't let anyone touch thebuttons on my chair because I
don't want to run over anyone.
Mollie (15:17):
But other than that, you know, I'll show them the lights
and what all the buttons do andall of that and just make it
fun.
Absolutely.
I do the same thing because ofcourse I'm out with a large dog
and you know a lot of peoplehave questions and I hate to
hear people whisper and shush.
You know, it's OK, Talk to me,ask me.
I mean, sometimes I may be busy, but for the most part I'm
going to answer your questions.
I'm like Jen saying with kids,especially children, I want to
(15:39):
give them that time because it'sa teachable moment and you can
educate about disability, I caneducate about service animals,
you know appropriate etiquetteand it's a win-win.
It normalizes us out in thecommunity and it shows that
we're out doing the same thingas other people and other family
members.
So I welcome questions.
(16:01):
It's totally fine.
Wensday (16:03):
I would say too, with kids.
I remember I was getting out togo to a restaurant and there
was, I assume, a father and hisdaughter who was probably two
years old.
They were walking to their carand kind of moving quickly and I
remember she just like walkedpast me and was going Daddy,
what's wrong with her?
(16:24):
Or something to that effect.
And instead of like being likeoh, don't stare, or like
stretching her, anything likethat, he goes oh, that's just
how she gets around.
And she's like, oh, don't stare, like stretching her, anything
like that, he goes oh, that'sjust how she gets around.
And she's like, oh, okay.
And kids, often simpleexplanations work and they're
just happy with it and they justmove on and oftentimes and you
know, see me as anyone else.
That's how she gets around andthey move on and I think
(16:45):
sometimes kids just need asimple explanation and I think,
like both Molly and Jen said, ifI can provide some education to
a child, so when they see youknow someone in the playground
one day in a wheelchair orhaving a disability, maybe
they'll go up with them and,just you know, play with them
like they would with anyone else.
I think that is so important.
Jen (17:05):
And I agree completely with that.
Wednesday.
Something else that I get a tonof questions about for me is my
car, because I have a car that Idrive, a Tahoe that's converted
and so for me to drive and ithas a lift that comes down but
the doors go up like theDeLorean doors from Back to the
Future.
So it gets lots of attentionevery single day.
(17:26):
Whenever I go out, somebody isgoing to stop and just watch the
doors open and close, and I'mcompletely okay with that.
I know that it just comes alongwith the territory and a lot of
times it's somebody who has afamily member or a friend who
could use a device like that atsome point in the future or
currently, and I love getting tohave those conversations with
people and it doesn't bother meat all whenever somebody wants
(17:49):
to come up and say, oh my gosh,your car is so cool, and I'm
like, yeah, it gets the job doneis kind of my standard answer.
And but the boys love it andthey call it my robotic car and
it's just our normal.
Mollie (18:01):
So, jen, that makes me think of something.
So with your disability you'reable to drive and, of course,
with my disability I am not ableto drive.
I was once a driver and peopleoften ask me.
I think when people see us inour disabilities, they always
imagine what must be the hardestthing for us, the most
difficult thing, and usuallythey are so far off the mark
because, like for me, it's likeoh, I bet you miss driving.
(18:23):
That must be so hard notdriving.
And I mean, yeah, I sure wish Icould drive again, but there
are so many more things uphigher on my list of I wish I
could do, and then there's somereally funny ones.
That is still probably would bedriving.
I don't know.
This is where we get to some ofour little things.
For me, one of the littleirritating things that probably
(18:46):
no one realizes I ever deal withis like if there's a fly in my
house, can't kill it.
That drives me crazy.
Like if you could give me thechoice between killing the fly
and maybe driving the car, inthat moment I'd be like I need
to kill the fly, the fly needsto die.
So I want to know what each ofyou has as your little thing
(19:06):
that probably someone withoutyour disability would never
think of as a frustration.
Wensday (19:12):
I have limited range of motion, and so for me the most
annoying thing at the end of aday, or especially when it's hot
in the summer, is not beingable to put my hair up myself.
It is just like I wish I couldjust take a ponytail and stick
my hair up the minute I want to,especially if my neck is all
sweaty.
It just is the most annoyingthing, the cherry on top of some
(19:35):
days that I can't do myself.
What about you, jen?
Jen (19:39):
For me, it often comes down to being able to reach
something.
So, whether it's somethingthat's put up high or something
that I drop in the floor one wayor the other, it seems like I'm
constantly reaching and notable to get to what I need.
And one of the funny thingsthat seems to happen in my
family is, if they buy treatsthat they don't necessarily want
to share, they just put them onthe top shelf of the
(20:02):
refrigerator, in the back corner, and they're like oh well,
you've got Christmas tree cakesin the refrigerator and they're
there.
I just can't get to them.
But I will tell you, I havemoved mountains to get to things
in my refrigerator, whether itwas in the bottom of the freezer
or in the top shelf of therefrigerator.
(20:23):
I'm raising my chair or layingin my own lap to make it happen,
because when a girl gets hungry, she's going to make it happen.
Wensday (20:30):
That's so funny.
I have these really really longtongs from the Dollar Tree.
They're like $1.25, but they'relike the best things ever and I
am constantly using thosebecause, yes, of course, the one
thing that you're in the moodfor in the pantry is the one
item that is difficult to reach.
So, yeah, I feel you on that.
So yeah, I feel you on that.
So I know we've talked a lotabout things that we get told in
(20:53):
public and the little thingsthat are kind of the cherry on
top of our day.
But now let's talk about goingout and shopping.
I know we all love shopping, wetalk about it regularly, and so
maybe some funny and even maybesome not so funny stories
related to difficulties we'vehad in public because of our
(21:17):
disability, or just funny thingsthat have happened to us.
Molly, do you want to start?
Mollie (21:22):
Oh, wow, I mean I could go countless.
Of course, for me, when I'm outin public and when we're
talking about the holiday season, you know it's crowded, there's
a lot more people around tohave to navigate, and when
you're doing that with a guidedog, it's a lot of fun.
In fact, in some ways it kindof parts the seas, which is
great.
But what is always interestingto me is I hear that collective
(21:45):
kind of gasp following mewherever I go, and that there's
a dog.
Look at the dog there's a dog.
But you know, inevitably in thatmoment I really feel like I'm
going to do something reallystupid or really clumsy.
You know, you feel like I'lllike I'm walking, walking the
catwalk or something there thatI got to.
You know, really strut it, butfor me it's always just kind of
that.
You know, collective gasp, thelittle chatter behind me, always
(22:09):
when Boomer and I are doing ourthing out in public.
Jen (22:12):
Molly, my favorite story with you shopping is when Boomer
comes to find me and it's justsome other girl in a chair.
It's not me at all.
Mollie (22:20):
Okay, so.
So Jen and I have been workingtogether for years and years now
, and Boomer just believes thatpeople who use wheelchairs I
mean I'm going to want to bewith them because I mean if I'm
in the office I'm making abeeline for Jen.
So he's pretty much trained totarget wheelchairs now, and we
(22:46):
have scared a few people outshopping because, yes, I guess
his head is just like in yourlap, like I'm assuming because
it's he's gone and put his headin the laps of some very
unsuspecting and startled people.
I have to say I am so sorry buthe, he, he likes people who use
wheelchairs a lot Like that's,that's his thing now.
Wensday (23:10):
I remember when I first started.
I haven't been with DRA as longas Molly and Jen, but when I
first started a boomer wouldcome up to me and I'm like, oh,
he likes me.
I'm always like, yeah, heprobably thinks you're Jen.
I think now he knows thedifference and I think he likes
us both, but he doesn't know thedifference between us All this
has done is just reinforce hislove of people who use
(23:30):
wheelchairs.
Mollie (23:34):
He's like all right, I've got it.
Wensday (23:38):
He takes his job very seriously.
I know, something for me withthe holiday shopping is, you
know, figuring out what newclothes I want to wear to events
and fun parties and things likethat and dressing rooms for me,
being an illustrator, sometimesis difficult.
(23:59):
There's usually only oneaccessible stall to try on
clothes in the store and Iremember when I was younger
there used to actually beattendants that would be at the
front of the area and they wouldtake you to what stall you
could use.
But now I don't really see thatanymore and so inevitably
there's always like 10 stallsand the one stall I can use is
(24:22):
taken.
Jen, have you had that happenbefore?
Jen (24:25):
It happens all the time and every time I do that I just
stand out in the waiting areawith whoever I'm with and say
things like oh well, there'sonly one that I can use, but
it's all full right now.
So I hope that I'll get to trythese on sometime soon, just to
try to alert the other person.
(24:46):
I have had attendants go andknock on doors and ask someone
you know, let them know.
Hey, had attendants go andknock on doors and ask someone
you know, let them know.
Hey, we've got you knowsomebody who can use the bigger
stall here and it's fine.
You know, we all appreciatethat big stall, but some of us
need it and some of us it's justa convenience, for same things
happens in bathrooms.
If you're going to use thelarge, accessible stall, please
(25:09):
don't use it for texting forever.
That would be appreciated.
Anyway, that's my pet peevewith that, but one of my
favorite stories.
At one point I was headed totherapy.
I was letting the students andthe PT students in Conway work
with me.
One day I was out shopping bymyself before therapy and I was
(25:31):
running late, because that's thestory of my life and I went
flying into therapy in my chairand the professor there who was
over the student.
She looked at me and she waslike Jen, what do you have in
your chair?
I had no idea what she wastalking about.
But I looked down and there wasa bra on a hanger stuck in the
wheel of my chair and I justsaid I stole it.
(25:54):
And she said what I said Istole it.
And she said, well, is it atleast your size?
And I looked down and I waslike nope.
So it was a lot of fun wheneverI had to take that back to the
store and explain to them that Ihad accidentally stolen
something with my chair.
But that's what happens whenaisles get too close together
(26:16):
and things grab onto my chairand I don't even know it and I
wheel out the door with it.
Wensday (26:24):
What did the?
Jen (26:24):
worker say whenever you returned it he just looked at me
.
I kind of made it a joke, buthe didn't find any humor in it
whatsoever.
I gave him the things that Iwas legit taken back.
And then the last one, the bra.
I was like, and well, this one,I kind of stole it.
And he just looked at me andwas like, oh okay, I explained
(26:46):
it a little bit but he had noamusement whatsoever.
I think he was just annoyed thathe had to try to figure out
what to do, um, how to do thisreturn of a stolen item.
Wensday (26:53):
So made my day though can y'all talk a little bit
about, uh, parking lot situation?
Um a lot of times we do thatshopping in person, like we were
talking about how.
How are parking lots for y'all?
Mollie (27:08):
For me it's a little bit different in that I'm going to
be the passenger, but, yes, Iuse accessible parking because I
, when traveling with a guidedog, a lot of times I'm going to
need that little extra spacegetting out of the car to be
able to safely harness him, notfeel like cars.
Are, you know, crowding us orzooming through a parking lot as
I'm trying to?
You know, navigate?
(27:29):
Plus, there's no real rules onyou know which side of a parking
lot to walk on Things that arereally obvious on sidewalks or
even on streets.
If you're having to walk on astreet that doesn't have
sidewalks, in a parking lot,there's no rules, so the less
distance that my dog and I needto spend in a parking lot, the
better.
So we're going to useaccessible parking, and it can
(27:52):
always be a frustration whenthere's no spots.
Jen (27:57):
So for me it's definitely dealing with needing the ramp
access for spaces.
So those lines that are outthere are made for people with a
van, who use a wheelchairbasically.
So oftentimes I will seesomebody whip into the very last
accessible spot that'savailable, but it's the only van
accessible spot, van accessiblespot.
(28:24):
So oftentimes I find myselfhaving to go park in the very
back corner of a parking lot andjust take up two spaces and I
feel really unsafe whenever I'mdoing that, because I'm parking
in the back corner, oftentimesat night by myself, where I'm
going in and having to navigatea parking lot, and it's
essentially like a child walkingin a parking lot, in that I'm
low down and people don'tnecessarily see me.
So that's kind of hard fornavigating.
(28:47):
That.
The other things that I justthink is kind of funny is
oftentimes I will be the onewhipping into the last parking
spot and I'll get glared at bysome people with other
disabilities that are looking atme like what is this young girl
doing parking in this spot?
She has no business there andyou know they won't see my
accessible tag.
Then I pop that door open andcome out in my power wheelchair
(29:08):
and they're like oh okay, Iguess she's worthy.
We just go on about our day,but it makes me laugh every time
.
Wensday (29:18):
I get what both of y'all are saying for sure.
I also need to be closest tothe door because I am shorter
when I get out of my vehicle andthen also, yes, need that extra
space to get out.
I will say, too, something withparking is.
You know, I hear a lot whenpeople especially if it's a
(29:38):
smaller business people will runout when they see me having a
struggle, get out in a differentspot, and they'll be like, oh,
I'm so sorry, if they parked inthat spot, I just needed to run
in for five minutes.
The amount of times I've alsoheard that five minutes, 10
minutes, that can make adifference between me getting to
an appointment on time to me,you know, fitting an extra
errand in my day.
I spend a lot of time before Igo somewhere like figuring out
(30:02):
parking, because oftentimesaccessible spots are taken, and
then deciding like do I want theback corner or would it be
safer in the middle?
But what if someone parks nextto me?
And really having to do allthis work in order to go
somewhere when I just want to goout and have fun with my
friends?
Order to go somewhere when Ijust want to go out and have fun
(30:23):
with my friends.
Sometimes there's all this workI have to do in order to even
get to the front door of a place.
Jen (30:27):
And speaking of the things that people don't really think
about so often, I will say I'llask that question well, is it
accessible?
And it'll be something like acourthouse or you know somewhere
that you would assume would beaccessible.
And it's inevitable thatsomebody will always say, well,
it has to be, it's the law, andI'm like well, the law says that
(30:50):
it has to be, but in realityit's not necessarily that way.
So just last week I went tolunch with my family and was
following just I wouldn't evencall it a sidewalk, it was just
the curb, I guess I'm not sureWhatever goes in front of the
businesses, and I was followingit around to go to the other end
.
Well, we got to the very endand there was no curb cut at the
(31:12):
end.
So then I had to leave myfamily there and turn around and
go all the way back down to theramp and then go through the
parking lot to find another rampthat connected to the next part
of the sidewalk there and youknow, it's stuff like that that
people don't think about.
Just inaccessibility is rampant.
It's everywhere and differentplaces that you would think have
(31:34):
to be accessible.
And maybe they are if you knowthe secret code for which
elevator to get to and whichback room to follow to find your
way, but it's not alwaysaccessible like you would think.
Wensday (31:45):
And it's frustrating to me.
You know, even if it'sconsidered accessible, if the
main you know beautiful frontentrance isn't accessible.
It has steps but they're likeoh, we have a door, you can come
in around the side.
I don't want to have to do that.
I don't have to go through analleyway and enter this random
back door and go through, like akitchen or something, in order
to go enjoy myself when I'mgoing out to eat or going to a
(32:09):
store.
All right.
Jen (32:10):
So we've discussed all the little things that go into life
as a person with a disability,and one of the things that we
didn't discuss extensively onthis podcast today was about
travel, but that is becausewe've done a podcast previously
on traveling with disability, sofeel free to check it out on
all of the Disability Rightssocial media channels and you
can find the links for thatthere.
(32:32):
But one thing I did want tomention is my family and I went
to New York several years agofor the holidays, and you know
we've talked about the thingsthat have been annoying with
disability, but there have beensome really good perks too, and
I say all the time hey, therearen't a ton of perks that come
along with disability, but I'mgoing to take them when I get
them.
And one of the things thathappened with us is my family
(32:55):
went to see the Lion King onBroadway and it was freezing
cold that day, and I don't dowell when I'm cold.
My body doesn't regulatetemperature and so it's really
difficult for me to get warmagain.
And so we were in there and oneof the people who was over
production came to us and we'resitting in our seats before the
production started and they justsaid, hey, would some heating
(33:17):
packs help?
And I'm like, yes, that wouldbe great.
So next thing I know they goback to where the dancers are
and come back in with all theseheating packs for my, for me, to
wrap around my shoulders andthey're like, okay, just let us
know as soon as you need somemore, we'll be happy to bring
you some more.
And at intermission that day, umlady came over and she got me
(33:39):
and she was like, ok, if youneed to go to the restroom,
let's go.
And she went through the crowdleading me through, saying
special guests coming through,special guests coming through,
and made sure that I could getthrough the crowds to get to the
restrooms for duringintermission and get back to my
seat in plenty of time and justmade it a lot of fun and a
special experience for my familyand I.
But so there are lots of goodthings that come along with life
(34:03):
with disability as well, andjust taking the perks where we
can get them, jen, I love thatbecause I think, you know,
oftentimes, sometimes we can'tsee the forest for the trees.
Mollie (34:14):
And you know, with or without a disability, life's an
adventure and you know there'sgoing to be ups and downs.
And you know, those littlemoments with people when they're
just making our lives a littlebit easier, or those, those
general acts of kindness let'sall make an effort to see how we
can, you know, be a light andbe that, that little bit of
kindness, that that helps peopleget through a season that
(34:35):
sometimes isn't always married,depending on what people are
going through.
And you know we're, we're allin this together and you know,
especially, I think, in ourroles working at Disability
Rights, you know we're herebecause no one can do it all
alone and sometimes you needsupport, whether it's just in a,
you know, casual way out in thecommunity or, if you need it,
(34:57):
more formal support.
You know we're all here foreach other.
So, anyhow, thank you all somuch for taking time to listen
to us Just kind of, you know,have a little bit of fun, you
know, discussing some of thethings we deal with through life
, and hope to see you all in thenew year.
Amber (35:15):
Thank you for joining us on Including you.
We hope today's conversationhas sparked ideas, offered
guidance, including you.
We hope today's conversationhas sparked ideas, offered
guidance or inspired you to takeaction in your own life and
community.
At Disability Rights, webelieve advocacy isn't always
about sweeping reforms.
It's about the small everydayactions like asking the right
(35:35):
questions, standing up whensomething feels wrong or helping
to create a space whereeveryone feels included.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, visit us at
disabilityrightsarorg to learnmore about your rights, access
resources and find ways to getinvolved.
But don't forget to follow uson social media for updates,
(35:58):
tips and stories from thedisability community.
If you enjoyed this episode,share it with a friend, leave us
a review or start aconversation, because that's
where change begins.
Remember, everyone deserves toknow their rights Everyone,
including you.
Until next time, I'm AmberQuaid and we'll talk with you
(36:19):
again soon.
Welcome to Including you a podcast by Disability Rights
Arkansas.
On this podcast, we shine alight on the real everyday
experiences of people withdisabilities the challenges,
triumphs and all the moments inbetween.
At Disability Rights Arkansas,we're committed to providing
guidance to people withdisabilities on navigating their
(00:22):
rights, tackling everydayissues and accessing the support
they need in a complex world.
In this podcast, including you,we bring that information
directly to you, the listener.
We'll cover topics likeaccessibility questions,
building your career, securingthe care you deserve and even
(00:44):
navigating the nuances of loveand relationships as a person
with a disability, becauseeveryone has the right to know
their rights Everyone, includingyou.
So, whether you're a seasonedadvocate or someone just
starting to think differentlyabout disability, you're in the
right place.
I'm your host, amber Quaid, andtogether we'll explore how small
(01:06):
meaningful changes can make abig difference.
Let's dive in.
So I want to start off bysaying in this podcast, we're
going to do things a little bitdifferent.
Usually it is led by the host,but we're changing things up a
little bit and letting this be aself-led session with three of
(01:27):
our Disability Rights Arkansasstaff members talking about
situations that relate to thempersonally.
We want to give them a voiceand an opportunity to have a
discussion with you.
So in today's podcast, theywill be their own hosts.
Take it away, molly.
Mollie (01:48):
Hi everyone.
I'm Molly Hernandez and I'm anadvocate here at Disability
Rights Arkansas, working on theemployment team.
I'm also a person with adisability.
I have a condition known asretinitis pigmentosa and a rare
form of that that's called conerod dystrophy.
That has resulted in right nowI have really only light
(02:10):
perception.
I'm blind, with only lightperception, but for many years
of my life I dealt with lowvision, vision impairment, so
for more than half of my lifeI've been a person with a
disability.
I'm also a wife In fact, by thetime this airs, I will have
just celebrated my 24th weddinganniversary and I'm a mom to two
amazing teenagers.
(02:31):
I have an 18-year-old son and a16-year-old daughter, who are
just fantastic and a ton of fun,and they have never known me
other than as a mom.
That just happens to be blind.
So that's just part of thedynamic of our family.
I'm also a handler of a guidedog.
I have a seeing eye dog.
That's a German Shepherd, hisname is Boomer and he is with me
(02:54):
through all of life'sadventures.
So and I'll talk a little bitabout him later today, but
before that I want to introduceyou to my friend and coworker,
wednesday Kramer.
Wensday (03:10):
Hi everyone.
My name is Wednesday Kramer,and I know what you're thinking.
Was she born on a Wednesday?
No, I was not.
My name actually comes from theAdams family.
I too, here, am an advocate atDisability Rights Arkansas on
our employment team.
I'm very passionate aboutemployment and financial freedom
, as I too, too, am a personwith a disability.
I was born with spina bifidaand so, basically, the nerves
(03:31):
that were supposed to go to mylegs didn't, and so I use a
wheelchair full time, and I'vehad to navigate the world living
with a disability my whole life, which comes with some
interesting stories, some ofwhich I'll bring up today and
next.
The last person we have tointroduce is our amazing
(03:52):
coworker, jennifer Goodwin.
Jen (03:54):
Hey guys, I'm Jen and I also am a person with a
disability of spinal cord injuryand after my injury I, as I
like to say, got bored anddecided to go to law school.
So I'm an attorney here withDisability Rights as well and
actually love helping otherpeople get back to work or get
back to school, whatever thesituation is post-injury or
(04:17):
disability, whatever they arefacing in life.
But I have two boys, so I'm boymom through and through.
I've got a nine-year-old and athree-year-old and, like Molly,
I have a dog, except he doesabsolutely nothing for me,
except he's just a lot of funand really cute.
So, anyway, lots and lots offun funny stories that have
(04:40):
happened along the way.
I'm amazed at the things thatpeople say, and both good and
just really comical along theway, and I say all the time that
if you're going to have adisability, you also better have
a really good sense of humorbecause life is coming hard and
fast a lot and it's a lot of fun.
Mollie (05:00):
Yes.
So that absolutely brings us towhat we're really going to be
discussing today.
And you know, as we've eachdisclosed, we each have a
disability and you know they'revery different in their onset
and their nature, but what weall have in common is that life
is never dull.
We have a lot of interestingmoments.
We have a lot of frustrationsas well, but I think we've all
(05:22):
learned to kind of deal withthose as they come.
And you know, just know, that,like Jen said, you got to have a
sense of humor to live lifewith a disability and know
people are going to say or dothe strangest, funniest, most
absurd things in our presence,and some of those things we're
just going to talk about today.
(05:43):
Let's just get it all out inthe open and talk about the
little things.
So first off, I think maybelet's just kind of jump into
what is like the most commonthing you hear when you're out
in public, the one that you werelike if I had a nickel for
every time I heard it.
That's the one that you want totalk about.
(06:05):
So, wednesday, what's yours?
Wensday (06:09):
I would say, even as an adult, a grown adult, the
biggest thing.
Well, I think there's two forme.
The first is that's just kindof funny is how fast does that
thing go?
They'd use an electricwheelchair and so I can be
pretty fast going down an aisle.
You know, I'm on a mission whenI'm shopping to like get what I
(06:29):
need to get and get out, and soI often am asked how fast does
that thing go?
And then kind of on the otherend a little less funny and
interesting I get asked iswhat's wrong with you?
Often how time people phrase it, and I get that too.
So if I had money for each timesomeone said one of those two
things, I would be very rich andprobably wouldn't have to work.
Mollie (06:54):
Jen, what about?
Jen (06:55):
you Well, like Wednesday, I often hear something similar,
but it's do you want to race?
And then the other thing, andyou know, sometimes that answer
is yes, absolutely.
I want to race and I fullyintend to win every race that
I'm in.
But also the other thing that Ihear is people who are walking
(07:17):
and look at me and say that it'sno fair that I have a chair,
and they wish that they had onelike that that they got to use
instead.
Mollie (07:26):
And so I was always like well, let's trade places, let's
do that, yeah, I think I thinkthat happens a lot that the
comments that are meant to be,you know, well-meaning or and
they just they kind of fall flaton.
On some of those, I can tellyou my most common one and I
always giggle.
As I said before, I'm blind, soI use a seeing eye dog and when
(07:51):
we're out and about people,inevitably and just FYI, just as
a little bit of a teachablemoment here when you see someone
with a guide dog and they'reworking out in public, don't
walk up to the dog.
You need to ignore them,address the person.
But of course, inevitably whenI'm out, someone's going to walk
up to my dog and my dog's notgoing to approach the person.
(08:14):
It's when the person approacheshim they'll put their hands out
, let him sniff and be like oh,you smell my puppy, don't you?
I hear that every day that I'mout.
You smell my puppy, don't you?
So it's kind of a running jokein my household on that one.
And then kind of back to whatJen was saying.
You know, that's my funny one,you know, and there are so many
(08:34):
funny ones.
Oh, I do need to tell this one.
We were in Disney World onetime and I was walking, my
husband had the double strollerwith the children and I was
working with a previous guidedog and a lady you know was
approaching us and she said oh,what a beautiful service animal.
And my son, who was you knowlike three or four, stood up and
was like he is not a circusanimal, he's a seeing eye dog.
(08:57):
So, you know, we're all used topeople commenting on the dog
when we're out and about.
Another thing that I get and,jen, I'm curious if you get the
same thing when I'm out andabout with my children, and this
is one that the intent is sowell-meaning, people are trying
to compliment my kids.
But they'll come up to mychildren and say you do such a
(09:17):
good job taking care of yourmommy.
Look at you helping your mommy,taking care of her.
And that one that one alwaysgets me because, I mean, my
children rely on a blind womanto find the most obvious things
in our household.
So the fact that they're takingcare of me is kind of a big
joke, but they are amazing helps.
(09:39):
So, jen, do you ever get thatwhen you're out and about?
Jen (09:41):
I do get it a lot, but usually it's pretty well-meaning
in that they're seeing himopening doors for me or that
sort of thing.
But on the flip side of it Iusually have one three-year-old
in my lap and one nine-year-oldriding on the back of me, so
it's usually pretty obvious thatI'm carrying them most of the
(10:04):
time.
But my older son especially isreally good about opening doors
for everyone and, you know,making sure that he's the last
one through.
One of the little things thatwe've talked about before is
that I always appreciate whensomeone opens the door for me.
While I can do it, I appreciatethe help, just like I did
(10:24):
before my injury.
But when you open a door forsomeone using a wheelchair,
please step out of the way ofthe door so that I don't run
over your feet or have to try tosuck it in somehow to try to
get through a doorway becauseit's not happening.
So that's one of the thingsthat I've noticed.
(10:45):
That happens to me all the timeis that people want to open a
door but stand right in themiddle of the doorway so I can't
actually get through it.
Wensday (10:53):
Jen, I get you with the door thing.
I feel like every time someonetries to open a door for me, I
have to explain to them how toopen the door Again.
Be on the outside, not in themiddle.
I don't want to run anyone over.
I'm thankful when people do it,but again, please stand on the
outside of the door.
I don't have kids myself, atleast not yet, but something
(11:18):
that kind of does happen to mein a similar vein is I'm a very
social person.
I like going out to eat and I'mdoing things with my friends
and family.
My friends and family and Ioften, when I'm in a crowd of
multiple people, will not bespoken to.
(11:38):
Someone will look at someoneelse next to me and be like oh,
you know, like you know what isyou know?
Amber (11:42):
what do y'all?
Wensday (11:43):
want and it's like oh, like you know, I know what I
want, I can definitely order or,you know, ask for whatever.
I need to compensate that tosome degree.
Like, when I'm at a restaurantwith a group of people, I will
like be the first one to be likeoh, I would like this, please.
And like speak first, so thatway they understand they can
speak with me.
So you know, just something toconsider if you're in the
(12:05):
service industry, speak to theperson with the disability,
speak to you know everyone likeyou would anyone else, because
they know what they want andthey should be asked.
Mollie (12:19):
And that's something I've encountered.
And it's a little trickier forme because oftentimes I'm
because I'm blind I'll miss thatvisual cue of when, like, the
server is making eye contactwith everyone around the table
or even just comes to the tablefor the first time.
If it's a noisy environment,I'm not going to catch that.
And I used to laugh kind ofearly on in my vision loss when
(12:39):
we were all kind of learning howto navigate it and figure it
out.
You know, my family would, Iguess, try and make it a little
less awkward for me and whisperyou know she's, she's blind.
You know, trying to.
You know I finally got to thepoint where I was like oh my God
, I am what.
So you know, it's one of thosethings I think everyone's trying
to figure out how to be themost polite.
(13:03):
And Wednesday's right Just talkto us, just ask us.
If it appears that I haven'tacknowledged you, you know it's
okay to.
You know, just address me.
You know, touch me on theshoulder.
Not everyone's going to want tobe touched without permission.
But if you think I've notacknowledged you, that's fine.
You know, let me know thatyou're there, I think that
brings up a good point too.
Wensday (13:24):
Like how do we want to be, like, respected in public?
And just ask us you don't haveto necessarily, you know find
the right words, you know belike how can I assist you?
And let us tell you how we, youcan assist us if we need that
assistance.
Don't assume A, don't assumethat we need assistance and B
(13:44):
ask us how we would like to beassisted.
So a lot of times verywell-meaning people try to help
me and you know sometimes thehelp is not helpful and so
definitely ask us how, if weneed to be assisted and how we
could be assisted.
Jen (14:01):
And if your kids have questions about why I have a
wheelchair or what I'm doingwith that, let them ask me and
if I have the time at all, youknow, sometimes I'm in a rush
and I'm trying to get in and outof where I'm going, but 99% of
the time I am more than happy tohave that conversation,
especially with a kid.
But don't just silence them andmake this disability seem like
(14:24):
it's something unapproachable,like I'm unapproachable because
of my disability, because I'mmore than happy to talk to kids
and if my kids are with me, thena lot of times I will give them
the power to do that and I letthem have that conversation.
So they're getting to say youknow, even my three-year-old
will say well, my mommy's spinalcord doesn't work and so she
can't walk because her corddoesn't work like ours does, and
(14:47):
so I think it's fun to give himthe autonomy to say that, but
then also just to have thoseconversations with children to
normalize disability and justexplain.
You know, I used to be able towalk but I can't because I had
an injury and now I use thischair and my big rule is that I
don't let anyone touch thebuttons on my chair because I
(15:08):
don't want to run over anyone.
I don't let anyone touch thebuttons on my chair because I
don't want to run over anyone.
Mollie (15:17):
But other than that, you know, I'll show them the lights
and what all the buttons do andall of that and just make it
fun.
Absolutely.
I do the same thing because ofcourse I'm out with a large dog
and you know a lot of peoplehave questions and I hate to
hear people whisper and shush.
You know, it's OK, Talk to me,ask me.
I mean, sometimes I may be busy, but for the most part I'm
going to answer your questions.
I'm like Jen saying with kids,especially children, I want to
(15:39):
give them that time because it'sa teachable moment and you can
educate about disability, I caneducate about service animals,
you know appropriate etiquetteand it's a win-win.
It normalizes us out in thecommunity and it shows that
we're out doing the same thingas other people and other family
members.
So I welcome questions.
(16:01):
It's totally fine.
Wensday (16:03):
I would say too, with kids.
I remember I was getting out togo to a restaurant and there
was, I assume, a father and hisdaughter who was probably two
years old.
They were walking to their carand kind of moving quickly and I
remember she just like walkedpast me and was going Daddy,
what's wrong with her?
(16:24):
Or something to that effect.
And instead of like being likeoh, don't stare, or like
stretching her, anything likethat, he goes oh, that's just
how she gets around.
And she's like, oh, don't stare, like stretching her, anything
like that, he goes oh, that'sjust how she gets around.
And she's like, oh, okay.
And kids, often simpleexplanations work and they're
just happy with it and they justmove on and oftentimes and you
know, see me as anyone else.
That's how she gets around andthey move on and I think
(16:45):
sometimes kids just need asimple explanation and I think,
like both Molly and Jen said, ifI can provide some education to
a child, so when they see youknow someone in the playground
one day in a wheelchair orhaving a disability, maybe
they'll go up with them and,just you know, play with them
like they would with anyone else.
I think that is so important.
Jen (17:05):
And I agree completely with that.
Wednesday.
Something else that I get a tonof questions about for me is my
car, because I have a car that Idrive, a Tahoe that's converted
and so for me to drive and ithas a lift that comes down but
the doors go up like theDeLorean doors from Back to the
Future.
So it gets lots of attentionevery single day.
(17:26):
Whenever I go out, somebody isgoing to stop and just watch the
doors open and close, and I'mcompletely okay with that.
I know that it just comes alongwith the territory and a lot of
times it's somebody who has afamily member or a friend who
could use a device like that atsome point in the future or
currently, and I love getting tohave those conversations with
people and it doesn't bother meat all whenever somebody wants
(17:49):
to come up and say, oh my gosh,your car is so cool, and I'm
like, yeah, it gets the job doneis kind of my standard answer.
And but the boys love it andthey call it my robotic car and
it's just our normal.
Mollie (18:01):
So, jen, that makes me think of something.
So with your disability you'reable to drive and, of course,
with my disability I am not ableto drive.
I was once a driver and peopleoften ask me.
I think when people see us inour disabilities, they always
imagine what must be the hardestthing for us, the most
difficult thing, and usuallythey are so far off the mark
because, like for me, it's likeoh, I bet you miss driving.
(18:23):
That must be so hard notdriving.
And I mean, yeah, I sure wish Icould drive again, but there
are so many more things uphigher on my list of I wish I
could do, and then there's somereally funny ones.
That is still probably would bedriving.
I don't know.
This is where we get to some ofour little things.
For me, one of the littleirritating things that probably
(18:46):
no one realizes I ever deal withis like if there's a fly in my
house, can't kill it.
That drives me crazy.
Like if you could give me thechoice between killing the fly
and maybe driving the car, inthat moment I'd be like I need
to kill the fly, the fly needsto die.
So I want to know what each ofyou has as your little thing
(19:06):
that probably someone withoutyour disability would never
think of as a frustration.
Wensday (19:12):
I have limited range of motion, and so for me the most
annoying thing at the end of aday, or especially when it's hot
in the summer, is not beingable to put my hair up myself.
It is just like I wish I couldjust take a ponytail and stick
my hair up the minute I want to,especially if my neck is all
sweaty.
It just is the most annoyingthing, the cherry on top of some
(19:35):
days that I can't do myself.
What about you, jen?
Jen (19:39):
For me, it often comes down to being able to reach
something.
So, whether it's somethingthat's put up high or something
that I drop in the floor one wayor the other, it seems like I'm
constantly reaching and notable to get to what I need.
And one of the funny thingsthat seems to happen in my
family is, if they buy treatsthat they don't necessarily want
to share, they just put them onthe top shelf of the
(20:02):
refrigerator, in the back corner, and they're like oh well,
you've got Christmas tree cakesin the refrigerator and they're
there.
I just can't get to them.
But I will tell you, I havemoved mountains to get to things
in my refrigerator, whether itwas in the bottom of the freezer
or in the top shelf of therefrigerator.
(20:23):
I'm raising my chair or layingin my own lap to make it happen,
because when a girl gets hungry, she's going to make it happen.
Wensday (20:30):
That's so funny.
I have these really really longtongs from the Dollar Tree.
They're like $1.25, but they'relike the best things ever and I
am constantly using thosebecause, yes, of course, the one
thing that you're in the moodfor in the pantry is the one
item that is difficult to reach.
So, yeah, I feel you on that.
So yeah, I feel you on that.
So I know we've talked a lotabout things that we get told in
(20:53):
public and the little thingsthat are kind of the cherry on
top of our day.
But now let's talk about goingout and shopping.
I know we all love shopping, wetalk about it regularly, and so
maybe some funny and even maybesome not so funny stories
related to difficulties we'vehad in public because of our
(21:17):
disability, or just funny thingsthat have happened to us.
Molly, do you want to start?
Mollie (21:22):
Oh, wow, I mean I could go countless.
Of course, for me, when I'm outin public and when we're
talking about the holiday season, you know it's crowded, there's
a lot more people around tohave to navigate, and when
you're doing that with a guidedog, it's a lot of fun.
In fact, in some ways it kindof parts the seas, which is
great.
But what is always interestingto me is I hear that collective
(21:45):
kind of gasp following mewherever I go, and that there's
a dog.
Look at the dog there's a dog.
But you know, inevitably in thatmoment I really feel like I'm
going to do something reallystupid or really clumsy.
You know, you feel like I'lllike I'm walking, walking the
catwalk or something there thatI got to.
You know, really strut it, butfor me it's always just kind of
that.
You know, collective gasp, thelittle chatter behind me, always
(22:09):
when Boomer and I are doing ourthing out in public.
Jen (22:12):
Molly, my favorite story with you shopping is when Boomer
comes to find me and it's justsome other girl in a chair.
It's not me at all.
Mollie (22:20):
Okay, so.
So Jen and I have been workingtogether for years and years now
, and Boomer just believes thatpeople who use wheelchairs I
mean I'm going to want to bewith them because I mean if I'm
in the office I'm making abeeline for Jen.
So he's pretty much trained totarget wheelchairs now, and we
(22:46):
have scared a few people outshopping because, yes, I guess
his head is just like in yourlap, like I'm assuming because
it's he's gone and put his headin the laps of some very
unsuspecting and startled people.
I have to say I am so sorry buthe, he, he likes people who use
wheelchairs a lot Like that's,that's his thing now.
Wensday (23:10):
I remember when I first started.
I haven't been with DRA as longas Molly and Jen, but when I
first started a boomer wouldcome up to me and I'm like, oh,
he likes me.
I'm always like, yeah, heprobably thinks you're Jen.
I think now he knows thedifference and I think he likes
us both, but he doesn't know thedifference between us All this
has done is just reinforce hislove of people who use
(23:30):
wheelchairs.
Mollie (23:34):
He's like all right, I've got it.
Wensday (23:38):
He takes his job very seriously.
I know, something for me withthe holiday shopping is, you
know, figuring out what newclothes I want to wear to events
and fun parties and things likethat and dressing rooms for me,
being an illustrator, sometimesis difficult.
(23:59):
There's usually only oneaccessible stall to try on
clothes in the store and Iremember when I was younger
there used to actually beattendants that would be at the
front of the area and they wouldtake you to what stall you
could use.
But now I don't really see thatanymore and so inevitably
there's always like 10 stallsand the one stall I can use is
(24:22):
taken.
Jen, have you had that happenbefore?
Jen (24:25):
It happens all the time and every time I do that I just
stand out in the waiting areawith whoever I'm with and say
things like oh well, there'sonly one that I can use, but
it's all full right now.
So I hope that I'll get to trythese on sometime soon, just to
try to alert the other person.
(24:46):
I have had attendants go andknock on doors and ask someone
you know, let them know.
Hey, had attendants go andknock on doors and ask someone
you know, let them know.
Hey, we've got you knowsomebody who can use the bigger
stall here and it's fine.
You know, we all appreciatethat big stall, but some of us
need it and some of us it's justa convenience, for same things
happens in bathrooms.
If you're going to use thelarge, accessible stall, please
(25:09):
don't use it for texting forever.
That would be appreciated.
Anyway, that's my pet peevewith that, but one of my
favorite stories.
At one point I was headed totherapy.
I was letting the students andthe PT students in Conway work
with me.
One day I was out shopping bymyself before therapy and I was
(25:31):
running late, because that's thestory of my life and I went
flying into therapy in my chairand the professor there who was
over the student.
She looked at me and she waslike Jen, what do you have in
your chair?
I had no idea what she wastalking about.
But I looked down and there wasa bra on a hanger stuck in the
wheel of my chair and I justsaid I stole it.
(25:54):
And she said what I said Istole it.
And she said, well, is it atleast your size?
And I looked down and I waslike nope.
So it was a lot of fun wheneverI had to take that back to the
store and explain to them that Ihad accidentally stolen
something with my chair.
But that's what happens whenaisles get too close together
(26:16):
and things grab onto my chairand I don't even know it and I
wheel out the door with it.
Wensday (26:24):
What did the?
Jen (26:24):
worker say whenever you returned it he just looked at me
.
I kind of made it a joke, buthe didn't find any humor in it
whatsoever.
I gave him the things that Iwas legit taken back.
And then the last one, the bra.
I was like, and well, this one,I kind of stole it.
And he just looked at me andwas like, oh okay, I explained
(26:46):
it a little bit but he had noamusement whatsoever.
I think he was just annoyed thathe had to try to figure out
what to do, um, how to do thisreturn of a stolen item.
Wensday (26:53):
So made my day though can y'all talk a little bit
about, uh, parking lot situation?
Um a lot of times we do thatshopping in person, like we were
talking about how.
How are parking lots for y'all?
Mollie (27:08):
For me it's a little bit different in that I'm going to
be the passenger, but, yes, Iuse accessible parking because I
, when traveling with a guidedog, a lot of times I'm going to
need that little extra spacegetting out of the car to be
able to safely harness him, notfeel like cars.
Are, you know, crowding us orzooming through a parking lot as
I'm trying to?
You know, navigate?
(27:29):
Plus, there's no real rules onyou know which side of a parking
lot to walk on Things that arereally obvious on sidewalks or
even on streets.
If you're having to walk on astreet that doesn't have
sidewalks, in a parking lot,there's no rules, so the less
distance that my dog and I needto spend in a parking lot, the
better.
So we're going to useaccessible parking, and it can
(27:52):
always be a frustration whenthere's no spots.
Jen (27:57):
So for me it's definitely dealing with needing the ramp
access for spaces.
So those lines that are outthere are made for people with a
van, who use a wheelchairbasically.
So oftentimes I will seesomebody whip into the very last
accessible spot that'savailable, but it's the only van
accessible spot, van accessiblespot.
(28:24):
So oftentimes I find myselfhaving to go park in the very
back corner of a parking lot andjust take up two spaces and I
feel really unsafe whenever I'mdoing that, because I'm parking
in the back corner, oftentimesat night by myself, where I'm
going in and having to navigatea parking lot, and it's
essentially like a child walkingin a parking lot, in that I'm
low down and people don'tnecessarily see me.
So that's kind of hard fornavigating.
(28:47):
That.
The other things that I justthink is kind of funny is
oftentimes I will be the onewhipping into the last parking
spot and I'll get glared at bysome people with other
disabilities that are looking atme like what is this young girl
doing parking in this spot?
She has no business there andyou know they won't see my
accessible tag.
Then I pop that door open andcome out in my power wheelchair
(29:08):
and they're like oh okay, Iguess she's worthy.
We just go on about our day,but it makes me laugh every time
.
Wensday (29:18):
I get what both of y'all are saying for sure.
I also need to be closest tothe door because I am shorter
when I get out of my vehicle andthen also, yes, need that extra
space to get out.
I will say, too, something withparking is.
You know, I hear a lot whenpeople especially if it's a
(29:38):
smaller business people will runout when they see me having a
struggle, get out in a differentspot, and they'll be like, oh,
I'm so sorry, if they parked inthat spot, I just needed to run
in for five minutes.
The amount of times I've alsoheard that five minutes, 10
minutes, that can make adifference between me getting to
an appointment on time to me,you know, fitting an extra
errand in my day.
I spend a lot of time before Igo somewhere like figuring out
(30:02):
parking, because oftentimesaccessible spots are taken, and
then deciding like do I want theback corner or would it be
safer in the middle?
But what if someone parks nextto me?
And really having to do allthis work in order to go
somewhere when I just want to goout and have fun with my
friends?
Order to go somewhere when Ijust want to go out and have fun
(30:23):
with my friends.
Sometimes there's all this workI have to do in order to even
get to the front door of a place.
Jen (30:27):
And speaking of the things that people don't really think
about so often, I will say I'llask that question well, is it
accessible?
And it'll be something like acourthouse or you know somewhere
that you would assume would beaccessible.
And it's inevitable thatsomebody will always say, well,
it has to be, it's the law, andI'm like well, the law says that
(30:50):
it has to be, but in realityit's not necessarily that way.
So just last week I went tolunch with my family and was
following just I wouldn't evencall it a sidewalk, it was just
the curb, I guess I'm not sureWhatever goes in front of the
businesses, and I was followingit around to go to the other end
.
Well, we got to the very endand there was no curb cut at the
(31:12):
end.
So then I had to leave myfamily there and turn around and
go all the way back down to theramp and then go through the
parking lot to find another rampthat connected to the next part
of the sidewalk there and youknow, it's stuff like that that
people don't think about.
Just inaccessibility is rampant.
It's everywhere and differentplaces that you would think have
(31:34):
to be accessible.
And maybe they are if you knowthe secret code for which
elevator to get to and whichback room to follow to find your
way, but it's not alwaysaccessible like you would think.
Wensday (31:45):
And it's frustrating to me.
You know, even if it'sconsidered accessible, if the
main you know beautiful frontentrance isn't accessible.
It has steps but they're likeoh, we have a door, you can come
in around the side.
I don't want to have to do that.
I don't have to go through analleyway and enter this random
back door and go through, like akitchen or something, in order
to go enjoy myself when I'mgoing out to eat or going to a
(32:09):
store.
All right.
Jen (32:10):
So we've discussed all the little things that go into life
as a person with a disability,and one of the things that we
didn't discuss extensively onthis podcast today was about
travel, but that is becausewe've done a podcast previously
on traveling with disability, sofeel free to check it out on
all of the Disability Rightssocial media channels and you
can find the links for thatthere.
(32:32):
But one thing I did want tomention is my family and I went
to New York several years agofor the holidays, and you know
we've talked about the thingsthat have been annoying with
disability, but there have beensome really good perks too, and
I say all the time hey, therearen't a ton of perks that come
along with disability, but I'mgoing to take them when I get
them.
And one of the things thathappened with us is my family
(32:55):
went to see the Lion King onBroadway and it was freezing
cold that day, and I don't dowell when I'm cold.
My body doesn't regulatetemperature and so it's really
difficult for me to get warmagain.
And so we were in there and oneof the people who was over
production came to us and we'resitting in our seats before the
production started and they justsaid, hey, would some heating
(33:17):
packs help?
And I'm like, yes, that wouldbe great.
So next thing I know they goback to where the dancers are
and come back in with all theseheating packs for my, for me, to
wrap around my shoulders andthey're like, okay, just let us
know as soon as you need somemore, we'll be happy to bring
you some more.
And at intermission that day, umlady came over and she got me
(33:39):
and she was like, ok, if youneed to go to the restroom,
let's go.
And she went through the crowdleading me through, saying
special guests coming through,special guests coming through,
and made sure that I could getthrough the crowds to get to the
restrooms for duringintermission and get back to my
seat in plenty of time and justmade it a lot of fun and a
special experience for my familyand I.
But so there are lots of goodthings that come along with life
(34:03):
with disability as well, andjust taking the perks where we
can get them, jen, I love thatbecause I think, you know,
oftentimes, sometimes we can'tsee the forest for the trees.
Mollie (34:14):
And you know, with or without a disability, life's an
adventure and you know there'sgoing to be ups and downs.
And you know, those littlemoments with people when they're
just making our lives a littlebit easier, or those, those
general acts of kindness let'sall make an effort to see how we
can, you know, be a light andbe that, that little bit of
kindness, that that helps peopleget through a season that
(34:35):
sometimes isn't always married,depending on what people are
going through.
And you know we're, we're allin this together and you know,
especially, I think, in ourroles working at Disability
Rights, you know we're herebecause no one can do it all
alone and sometimes you needsupport, whether it's just in a,
you know, casual way out in thecommunity or, if you need it,
(34:57):
more formal support.
You know we're all here foreach other.
So, anyhow, thank you all somuch for taking time to listen
to us Just kind of, you know,have a little bit of fun, you
know, discussing some of thethings we deal with through life
, and hope to see you all in thenew year.
Amber (35:15):
Thank you for joining us on Including you.
We hope today's conversationhas sparked ideas, offered
guidance, including you.
We hope today's conversationhas sparked ideas, offered
guidance or inspired you to takeaction in your own life and
community.
At Disability Rights, webelieve advocacy isn't always
about sweeping reforms.
It's about the small everydayactions like asking the right
(35:35):
questions, standing up whensomething feels wrong or helping
to create a space whereeveryone feels included.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, visit us at
disabilityrightsarorg to learnmore about your rights, access
resources and find ways to getinvolved.
But don't forget to follow uson social media for updates,
(35:58):
tips and stories from thedisability community.
If you enjoyed this episode,share it with a friend, leave us
a review or start aconversation, because that's
where change begins.
Remember, everyone deserves toknow their rights Everyone,
including you.
Until next time, I'm AmberQuaid and we'll talk with you
(36:19):
again soon.
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