Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, my name is Tracy
Correll and welcome to
Indispensable People.
I'm a wife, mom, teacher,pastor and missionary and I
believe that every person shouldhave the opportunity to know
Christ, grow in Him and serveHim with the gifts that he has
given, no matter their ability.
Over 65 million Americans havea disability.
That's 25% of the population.
(00:26):
However, over 80% of them arenot inside the walls of our
church.
Let's dive into those hardtopics biblical foundations,
perceptions and world-changingideas.
Hey, hey, and welcome to thisepisode of Indispensable People.
(00:53):
Thank you for joining me and Ihope today is a day that
communication is a two-waystreet and that we can lay some
groundwork for effectivecommunication, not pitiful
communication, and alsoacceptance of different ways to
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communicate so that barriers canbe broken down, that the gospel
can be accessible, so thatpeople can be full participants
and co-laborers in Christ as weminister to them in our churches
.
Ryan Falk said communication isa two-way street, but
communication ironicallyrequires more of the listener
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than the speaker.
Poor speaking can be overcomeby good listening, but this best
speaker in the world won't beheard if their audience is
inattentive.
But this best speaker in theworld won't be heard if their
audience is inattentive and fortoo long and in too many places,
people that are marginalized,including those affected by
disability, haven't had a voiceIn areas of education, health
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care and employment.
People with disabilities oftenencounter resistance and
barriers to their participationand presence, and I want to make
sure that those types of thingsare not going to happen in our
church.
I know that it is naive of meto believe that it's not
happening, and I know that it is, that we are discounting people
on their intelligence, on theirability to participate in our
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churches and their value andworth to the kingdom because of
their lack of communication, orlack of communication in the way
that we readily accept it, andso the issue is not always on
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the person with a disability.
The issue is often on thereceiver, or it is.
Maybe the right communicationtools are not available, or
we're just not aware, or we havesome stereotypical perceptions
that are impacting the way thatwe choose to listen to someone.
(03:06):
So I really want to dive intothe topic of communication today
, and I'll tell you.
It really came from a discussionthat I had with another
coworker today while I was atschool and we were talking about
different movies, and there's anew movie out called the
(03:26):
Unbreakable Boy, and we werekind of discussing, you know,
the good and the bad about thatmovie, and sometimes I love the
awareness that it can bring, butI also struggle with the
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romanticism that sometimes themovies can put a
misunderstanding on familieswith disabilities, and so we had
a conversation about that movie, which then led into the
conversation about another moviethat's available now I believe
it's called Out of my Mind andthis particular movie is about a
girl who is in high school andshe has CP and she is nonverbal.
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And so what happens?
I have not seen the movie sothis is only my take on what I
have heard about it is that shehas no communication devices at
first, or very minimal meets theeye, and the school had been
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downplaying her intelligence andall the other kind of stuff.
And then a support person cameinto her life and started
noticing and there were allkinds of layers to this
individual that really was verymuch discounted, and so it led
into all kinds of conversationsabout those individuals and the
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it brought tears to my eyes.
There was one point in thetrailer of that movie where the
dad walked in to the house andshe used her communication
device and said hello, how wasyour day?
And it brought tears to my eyesbecause I'm a mom of a kiddo
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who, until he was four, didn'thave a lot of words to share and
because of those lack of wordsand inability to effectively
communicate, we had a lot ofreally, really hard days and we
had to learn how to read hisbody language and all kinds of
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other gestures and things likethat and the satisfaction of
being able to hear the thoughtsthat are in their minds, them
being able to share.
That brought tears to my eyes.
But it also reminded me of astruggle COVID and I believe I
(06:34):
have shared about my loss ofcommunication skills when I was
in the hospital and even when Icame home I would get partway
through the day.
So to kind of recap reallyquickly, I had COVID, I was in
the ER, I had COVID for almost aweek, ended up in the ER, was
in the ER for two days and thenI was put on a ventilator.
I was on a ventilator for ninedays and then, when I woke up
(06:58):
from the coma that was inducedand taken off the ventilator, I
would lose my speech partwaythrough the day, whether it was
because of, you know, lack ofmuscle uses or whatever it was.
And I struggled in the hospitalbecause obviously it was part
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COVID and so there were onlylimited visiting hours and
limited visited people, and myhusband could only be with me so
much because he also had to bewith our kids, and so I was on
my own to try to communicate tothe nursing staff and the aides
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and whoever else you know camein to communicate with me and I
would try to use my phone, but Ialso struggled at that point
really badly with my fine motor.
So to type out what I wanted tosay took a while and they were
very frustrated.
Now we're going to give thehospital some credit in the fact
that, you know, we're tail endof the massive amount of COVID.
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They were, you know, welloverstretched, well overworked,
understaffed, all of thosethings, and I say that to say
that I don't think that thehospital's full of a bunch of
terrible people who didn't care.
I think the hospital was fullof a bunch of people trying to
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do their absolute best in someof the worst circumstances.
So I say that all to say,please don't take this as a
kickdown on the hospital oranything like that but there was
my husband had told me oneparticular day before he left.
He said listen, if you need touse the restroom, make sure you
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don't wait too long, make sureyou let them know ahead of time.
I was considered a fall risk soI wasn't allowed out of the bed
by myself and so I had to ringfor someone to come help me and
then be able to use the restroom.
So I had pushed the button,pushed the button, pushed the
button, pushed the button, butbecause I had a loss of language
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at that point I couldn'trespond.
So I wanted to say I need helpto use the restroom or I need to
use the restroom or all ofthose things, but I couldn't.
And I'm assuming that at thenurse's station they're thinking
I'm just hitting the button byaccident, you know, thinking I'm
just hitting the button byaccident, you know, and probably
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45 minutes to an hour later noone has come and I have to use
the bathroom and I could nothold it anymore.
Also know that I was cathed forthat extended period of time
while on the ventilator and allother kind of stuff.
So using the restroom feels allkinds of urgent and all of that
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to say because of my inabilityto communicate and the
understanding of those on theother side of the receiving end
of the communication.
I had a very embarrassingmoment while I was in the
hospital because what I neededto say couldn't be said and what
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they needed to hear couldn't beheard.
So let's talk a little bit aboutcommunication, what it looks
like and how that plays out inour churches, and the way that
we interact with people in ourchurches and the way that we
interact with people.
First of all, we need tounderstand that when
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communicating with people inchurch or any situation right,
it's crucial to be respectfuland as inclusive as possible.
We want to speak directly tothe individual, we want to use
clear language, we want torespect their preferred
communication method and we wantto offer assistance when needed
.
And we really, really, reallywant to avoid assumptions about
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their abilities, because a lotof times let's just put it this
way someone who is in awheelchair, it's like they're in
a wheelchair, so they must nothave any intelligence.
That might sound really, reallyoff-handed or extreme.
However, I have a really greatfriend who has cerebral palsy,
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also had a spinal cord injury,uses a wheelchair, and I have
watched his intelligence bequestioned multiple times.
I have seen.
I've gone to restaurants withhim and sitting with him and
having a meal where the waitressor waiter refers to me to
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answer for him, to me to answerfor him, and that is, and he has
no communication barriers.
So oftentimes we assume thatcertain barriers whether
physical, intellectual orcommunication wise we diminish
intelligence.
And from what I can tell,that's really what the Out of my
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Mind movie was really about.
It was saying she had so manygreat thoughts and was
incredibly intelligent, but allof that was completely dismissed
because of the method ofcommunication that she needed.
And we want to always assumecompetence I've said that many
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times on here before and we wantto be sure that we are giving
credit where credit is due andeven when it's not, because
that's just how we respectpeople and we know that their
value and worth doesn't comefrom their abilities, doesn't
come from their intelligence, itcomes from their creator.
And I said that.
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I used to say this to my firstgraders all the time If you
wanna say something bad aboutsomebody else or you wanna pick
on them, then you're telling Godhe didn't do a good job and I'm
not willing to do that.
So I don't think anyone else isprobably willing to do that,
and I know that sounds extremeand maybe a little elementary.
However, it boils it down to areally easy understanding.
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So what do we do?
How do we communicate?
How do we step into theunderstandings?
First of all, we want to be aplace that is welcoming,
accepting and valuing.
That's simple.
That is simple.
We want people to know that wecan directly communicate with
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them.
To people to know that we candirectly communicate with them,
I will always be sure that ifI'm going to talk about someone
or talk to someone, it's to themright?
How are you doing?
How's this going?
Would you prefer this?
Would you like that?
Do you need?
Can I provide you anyassistance with that?
Can I open the door?
Whatever the questions might be, then I need to be open and
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willing and patient as I receivetheir communication.
Some language barriers aresimply processing, so it takes
extra time.
Some communication is let meuse a device so I can share with
you what I need.
That might be a communicationboard, that might be a
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communication device.
That might mean gestures, itmight mean body language, it
could be sign language, allkinds of different ways of
communicating.
And I would say the number oneproblem, aside from perception
of the way that we treat peoplewho communicate differently, is
the assumption Assumption.
I say this really strongly it'snot, it is the patience factor.
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So it is I don't have time foryou, I don't have, I can't wait,
I can't slow down.
So it is first the problem withthe assumption of intelligence
because of the way that theycommunicate differently.
Then the second problem is canI slow down long enough to wait
for you?
Because if they have tocommunicate through a device,
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then it's not just as quickly asyour thoughts coming out of
your mouth and also again backto the processing.
They may need time to thinkabout what they're utilizing to
deliver.
So your number one well, twoweapons are I am going to assume
competence and your second is Iam going to be patient and I am
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going to listen, and intently.
And that goes back to this RyanFalk, where he said you know
that communication is thetwo-way street and poor speaking
can be overcome by goodlistening.
Whether that's when he'sreferring to poor speaking, he's
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talking about, you know, maybesomeone who's addressing sharing
a sermon and maybe they're notthe most interesting speaker,
but also that works for anindividual who struggles to
communicate or has barriers tocommunicate and we have ways
that we can step outside of that.
Again, assuming competence,being patient, but then in our
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communication to them, beingclear, not jumbling things up.
Sometimes I have a habit ofhaving that awkward silence and
wanting to step in and saysomething else, where I need to
give that other person a momentto say and share what they need
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to.
I think that those are ournumber one things, but we also
need to be open to the types ofcommunication.
We also need to maybe have someoptions readily available,
especially if you are a churchand you're serving the kids,
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teens or adults in those spaces,whatever your leadership status
is or your volunteer status, tohave a few communication pieces
available.
For example, one of the thingsthat I use is a cheaply made
slap bracelet that has thingslike yes, no bathroom drink,
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like snack food, like I'm hungrykind of a thing on it, where
it's just pictures and ifthere's a struggle with
communication, those are ourbasic needs.
That can be met Right.
Another thing that I wouldsuggest is a visual schedule.
Having that visual scheduleavailable is an easy way to
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communicate with someone.
Also, pre-made communicationboards Maybe they go along with
the Bible lesson, maybe they arebasic things in the church,
availabilities like that, maybeeven having a picture map of the
church so that the individualcan indicate to you where they
would like to go in the building, all of those kinds of basic
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things.
And also I would recommend thatgreeters, parking lot
attendants and all of thoseindividuals have some basic ASL
signs available, ready to pullout.
Again, simple things like therestroom or a drink or, you know
, knowing where to sit, thosekinds of things that they could
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easily have access for easycommunication.
Communication is a two-waystreet.
Often we need to be really goodlisteners to no matter who is
speaking to us.
When we are good listeners, webreak down barriers and we make
the gospel accessible.
It's as easy as changing ourperceptions, opening up the
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access, being patient and havingsome tools in our tool not, but
we are going to continue thisconversation so that people of
all abilities can have theopportunity to know Christ, grow
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in Him and serve Him with thegifts that he has given them.
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