Creating Calm Down Spaces for Inclusive Ministry

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Imagine a world where every church has a quiet refuge designed to help individuals manage their emotions and sensory overload. In this dynamic episode of Indispensable People, I, Tracie Corll, recount a humorous tale from my preschool teaching days, where a strategic self-imposed timeout turned chaos into calm. This personal story sets the stage for a deeper conversation on the importance of creating calm-down corners in church settings, particularly for individuals with disabilities. By transforming chaos into clarity, these dedicated spaces ensure that everyone, regardless of their needs, can find peace and participate fully in their faith communities.

Calm down corners are more than just a space; they are a commitment to inclusivity and understanding. We explore how these areas serve as powerful tools for validation and self-regulation, enabling people to transition back into community activities with ease. Through practical strategies and heartfelt discussions, this episode provides valuable insights into fostering environments where emotions are acknowledged, making the gospel accessible to all. Whether you're a church leader, educator, or parent, you'll gain a renewed perspective on building a faith community that celebrates and supports the unique gifts of every individual. Join us as we continue our journey towards a more inclusive ministry.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, my name is Tracy Correll and welcome to
Indispensable People.
I'm a wife, mom, teacher,pastor and missionary, and I
believe that every person shouldhave the opportunity to know
Christ, grow in Him and serveHim with the gifts that he has
given, no matter their ability.
Over 65 million Americans havea disability.
That's 25% of the population.

(00:26):
However, over 80% of them arenot inside the walls of our
church.
Let's dive into those hardtopics biblical foundations,
perceptions and world-changingideas.
Hey, hey, and welcome to thisepisode of Indispensable People.

(00:50):
Today we're talking about calmdown corners, but first let me
tell you about a funny story.
A few years ago well, a lot ofyears ago I had a teaching job
in a preschool.
It was the one and only yearthat I taught in a preschool and
I love those little humans, butthere are lots of things that

(01:12):
are not the same in preschool,that are in an elementary school
, things like one of thestudents coming out of the
bathroom on the first day ofschool saying, mrs Coral, can
you come wipe my butt and let'stalk about the copious amounts
of snot, and there's just a lotof bodily fluids that come from

(01:36):
little humans that deal withthem in different ways.
However, I loved that year inpreschool for a lot of reasons,
but I had experience working inthe field of disability, which
means, apparently, to peoplethat I know everything.
That's a complete and total lieand definitely not something

(02:00):
that you should think of someonethat has had experience working
with people with disabilities.
Just because you have thatdoesn't mean you have something
special or amazing that willcalm all the experiences of
every room, of every group ofpeople you'll ever be in.
It doesn't work that way.
However, because I have workedin the field, the preschool

(02:25):
director at that time decided toplace 14 students in my
preschool room and 12 of thosewere boys and many of them had
higher needs or lots of energyor whatever.
But because I have worked withpeople with disabilities,

(02:46):
apparently I was the rightperson for the job.
So they decided, and duringthat time there are lots of
crazy things that happened, lotsof things that I had to figure
out as I was learning how toteach these kiddos and keep up
with their energy and all ofthat stuff, not to even mention
that oh hey, by the way, I waspregnant the entire year that I

(03:09):
was teaching preschool year thatI was teaching preschool, so
that gave its own experience.
But let me get down to theexperience of what happened on
one particular day.
They were just a little extrawild and things were all kinds
of crazy and I needed a shockvalue experience to bring

(03:31):
everybody back to whatever calmthat I could find.
And so we're in our morningmeeting, all the kids are placed
on the carpet, we are doing oursongs, our calendar, the
weather, all of that kind ofstuff, and I'm having a hard
time keeping the attention of mystudents.

(03:51):
Now I strategically haveplanned out my day in the
classroom where they have timesof movement, sitting, still
different activities, all ofthat kind of stuff, and so I
really tried to work verystrategically in making sure
that this high energy class haswhat they need to be able to

(04:12):
focus and to learn.
And so one particular daythey're just not having it and
it was just not going.
And so the shock value came.
I don't know if this makes me agood teacher or a bad teacher or
just a desperate teacher rightin that moment, but I said, ok,
everyone, mrs Coral is going totime out, and I took myself over

(04:34):
and I placed myself and I satdown crisscross applesauce in
the corner and the whole groupof students turned their heads,
eyes wide, open, mouths hangingout, thinking, oh my goodness,
my teacher just went to time out, so what does that have to do
with anything today that we'retalking about?

(04:56):
Well, we're talking about calmdown corners, and what do those
look like, how can they be usedin a church, and what kind of
resources do I need to do it?
Well, this one resource that Icame across asked this question,
and this can be used with amultitude of ages.
But the person that I cameacross asked this question, and
this can be used with amultitude of ages, but the
person that I'm going to referto is speaking specifically to

(05:20):
children.
So she says do your kids needthat space where they can go to
calm down or take a break whenthey are frustrated, angry or
overwhelmed?
And this is what we have toconsider when we think about
people with special needs, for abunch of different reasons.
First, we can think about thesocial reasons, the difficulties

(05:44):
that they may have interactingin spaces and people, and then
the sensory issues that they mayhave in spaces that have a lot
going on.
They're new, they have maybeloud things, bright things,
smelly things, all of that kindof stuff in a space.
Or maybe it is an individualwith an intellectual disability

(06:09):
that maybe had a run-in withanother person and because of
their intellectual disability,they're having a hard time
working through it, which meansthey're getting frustrated.
Maybe it's someone's feelingshave gotten hurt and they're not
sure how to regulate throughthose feelings.
There are all kinds of thingsthat you can consider that you

(06:30):
might run into.
For example, I will tell youthe story of a little guy who is
incredibly intelligent.
However, his emotional, social,emotional age is much, much
younger than what he is.
However, his intelligence whenit comes to facts, information,

(06:50):
reading abilities and all thatkind of stuff are sky high, and
so if he doesn't get chosen fora game or some piece of
interaction during the service,he gets very, very upset, and
usually the strategy of justkind of going hold on, stop for

(07:12):
a second.
Where are we at?
Is this a big problem, a smallproblem?
Is this a?
You know what is ageappropriate for your behavior?
And I'll tell you for anexample, when I said something
to him the last time and he saidtheir emotions and emotions are
okay, and then he does thislike really big, like fake cry

(07:34):
type of thing, and so we had towork through that moment.
But at the same time, he'spulling the attention of the
other people towards him, he iscausing a disruption in the
space, and he needs to be ableto work through what he's
feeling and dealing with.
However, in that particularenvironment, it was not

(07:59):
conducive.
So what does a calm down cornerdo?
Well, a calm down corner is aspace and listen, this can be a
calm down basket that you takewith you and you move to a
different space, or a walk inthe hallway.
It doesn't have to be a fullydesignated space.
You can use it however youprefer or in whatever space that

(08:24):
allows for where you're at.
So this basket or space thatyou're going to pull out is
going to have some resources init.
It might have a timer, it mighthave a Play-Doh, it might have
emotion cards, it could have asocial story, it could have
choices like calm down choiceslike I feel this, so I'm going

(08:47):
to do this kind of like an ifthen type of statement.
It has emotion identifiers sothey can let you know how
they're feeling in that moment,and then it could have the timer
, which could play, becauseobviously you don't want them to
spend their whole time in thatcalm down place.
You want them to be able toregulate their emotions and then

(09:10):
enter back into whatever'sgoing on.
So a timer is a great tool inthat moment.
So the goal is for them to beable to enter that space or
utilize that basket that has anidentifier.
Then it goes into.
The identifier is gonna talkabout I feel this way.

(09:33):
Then it's going to give choiceson what you're going to do to
help you in that moment and thenit's going to allow you to
enter back in.
It's going to give you a nicetransition.
All of those things really helpthat individual who cannot
regulate those emotions on theirown work through what they're

(09:54):
feeling.
And the great thing about itbecause any of us, when we have
emotions, the last thing that wewant is for people to downplay
it and pretend like it's not athing.
Right, we want our feelings tobe validated.
So this allows the feelings tobe validated in a non-disruptive
way.
It allows the person to workthrough what they're feeling in

(10:18):
a way that doesn't bringnegative attention to them, and
then it allows them totransition back into the space,
which will give them theopportunity to go back in to
learning and experiencing thegospel, which is the ultimate
goal.
So what a calm down corner isnot.

(10:38):
It is not for discipline, it isnot a distraction, it is a
place of self-regulation so thatthey can enter back in.
And maybe let me explain alittle bit about self-regulation
.
So when I feel a certain wayabout something, I can sort

(11:00):
through those feelings andemotions and bring myself back
to a baseline level that I canparticipate in life.
For someone who struggles withregulation, their emotions might
keep growing in one directionor another, overly excited and
happy and all of that whichdoesn't sound bad.
And or the swing to the negative, where I'm sad, I'm angry and I

(11:23):
can't get myself out of it.
I don't know what to do withthe things that I'm feeling,
which then typically lead tomore frustration and anger, and
it becomes a cycle and really,until you hit exhaustion, does
that maybe change?
So being able to regulate again, identify those emotions, then

(11:47):
do something with that emotion,giving you an option of what is
appropriate in the moment andnext, being able to transition
from that calm down space orexperience back into what is
going on with everyone else, allof those things are ways to
make the gospel accessible.
It opens the door for Jesus tobe heard, but also for people to

(12:10):
be validated in their feelings,understood and then have a
positive reentry into everythingthat's going on, and then have
a positive re-entry intoeverything that's going on.
The gospel being accessible ismost important, but we have to
do it through validatingfeelings, self-regulation and

(12:30):
entry back in.
Do I know everything aboutdisability ministry?
Do I have all the answers?
Have I done everythingperfectly?
I have absolutely not have allthe answers.
Have I done everythingperfectly?
I have absolutely not, but weare going to continue this
conversation so that people ofall abilities can have the
opportunity to know Christ, growin Him and serve Him with the
gifts that he has given them.

(12:50):
You.