December 19, 2025 • 12 mins
We explore how to minister to the whole family impacted by disability, moving from surface-level kindness to practical, relational care. We share a story of a parent who found faith and a path to belonging through consistent support, respite, and a welcoming church.
• the gap between perceived and real disability-friendliness in churches
• why siblings and caregivers need focused attention
• moving beyond hello to concrete offers of help
• removing attendance barriers with thoughtful supports
• bearing one another’s burdens without expecting return
• story of a mom finding faith and joining community
• practical tools: respite nights, sibling programs, parent groups
• everyday care: meals, check-ins, groceries, transportation
• accessibility that leads to participation and shared gifts
If you want to dive deeper on your own, you can check out the indispensable-people blog or my books on Amazon called The Indispensable Kid or Gospel Accessibility and the Indispensable People
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
Hey, hey, my name is Tracy Coral and welcome to
Indispensable People.
I'm a pastor, a teacher, amissionary, a mom, a wife, and I
believe that every person shouldhave access to the gospel so
that they can know Christ, growin him, and serve him with the
gifts that he has given.
Over 65 million Americans have adisability.
(00:24):
That's 15 to 20% of everycommunity.
And over 85% of thoseindividuals do not attend
church.
90% of pastors believe that theyare a disability-friendly
church, but only 20% of parentsand families agree.
Let's dive deep into hardtopics, big questions,
(00:47):
perceptions, stereotypes, and somuch more.
Hey and welcome to today'sepisode.
Thank you for joining me.
We are talking about somefrequently asked questions, and
we know that our supporters, ourlisteners, and readers have
(01:07):
submitted these questions, andwe know and feel like if they've
asked the questions, youprobably have them too.
So we're gonna get after it andwe're gonna answer another one
of these frequently askedquestions.
So here it is.
The question is how can youminister to the whole family?
This is probably one of my mostfavorite questions because I
(01:30):
know that disability ministry isnot just about the individual
with a disability.
There is a domino effect thathappens when we serve the whole
family.
And so we need to consider notonly the parents or the
caregivers that are tied to thecare for the child.
And this, when I say child, thatparent is caregiving likely
(01:53):
through adulthood.
So that brings its owninteresting set of needs.
And so we don't just considerthe parents though, we really
need to also consider theirsiblings because siblings are
living a life that other kidsand other siblings are not when
they have an individual withdisabilities in their home.
(02:14):
And so here's what we need todo.
First and foremost, super easything to do.
It doesn't cost a thing.
All it takes is kindness and thelove of Jesus, and that is to
welcome the whole family, seewho they are and build
relationships with them, right?
The only thing that's requiredis time, investment, and
listening.
(02:34):
And that is doable for allpeople who love Jesus because
that is what Jesus would do.
And so getting to know thosefamilies, taking time often,
here's probably one of thenumber one mistakes, and I know
I have made it, is you see thatfamily hustling through and they
look a little harried and youknow, busy.
(02:56):
And so it's like, okay, I can'tstop them.
I don't want to interrupt them.
They've got enough going on.
I don't want to bother them inthis moment.
But I'm gonna say this in thenicest way possible bother them.
They need to know that they'reseen.
They need to know that someonecares about them.
And we don't do that by leavingthem be and not engaging with
(03:19):
them.
And so we need to make sure thatwe are engaging with them, that
we are having questions, that weare checking in on them.
And that, and you can saysomething as, I see that you are
you are super busy, just want tocheck in, see how you're doing
today.
Just wanted to say hello, soglad that you're here today.
Those kinds of things.
And here's the deal (03:39):
that's the surface level, right?
So the next step in this islet's go beyond the surface.
Let's just go beyond the hi, howare ya?
Have a great day, so glad to seeyou conversation.
That's important because that'syou, their initial, that's the
first connection.
But we don't want to stop there.
(04:00):
We want to go beyond thesurface.
We want to invite them to anevents.
And if we invite them to events,we have to make sure that
there's care for their lovedones.
And we want to invite them outto coffee, invite them over to
your home.
Say if you notice something thatneeds done, you say, Hey, can I
can I handle that for you?
(04:21):
Can I take that for you?
And sometimes we have to be alittle bit more forceful and say
things like, Hey, I'm gonna dothis for you, not ask, because a
lot of times people don't wantto accept help and they don't
want to ask for help.
And so sometimes we just have toinsist on it in a very
respectful way, of course.
But we want to go beyond thatsurface level, really build
(04:45):
relationships with them becausethat's where you see the needs,
that's where you get into theconnection, that's where you
open the door to accessibility.
And just another thought andpicture from this a lot of times
those families struggle to getto church on Sunday morning or
Wednesday night or to an event.
And it's happening because theirindividual is struggles with
(05:09):
maybe transition, being indifferent places, maybe it's
just difficult outside of thehome.
Maybe they are someone whoelopes, which means that they
wander away from their people.
And so there's a multitude ofreasons.
If you're caring for someone whorequires being fed and dressed
(05:30):
and all that kind of stuffbefore you leave the house,
that's an exhausting marathonbefore you've even gone
anywhere.
So all of those kinds of thingsmake it difficult for that
family to get to church.
And then if we make it difficultto be at church, which means
they don't feel welcomed, theydon't feel seen, they don't feel
(05:51):
included, then they're not goingto go through all of that work
to get their family out the doorto come to church on a Sunday
morning or a Wednesday night orto an event.
So going beyond those basics andmaking sure that you're stepping
into their lives.
And there's a verse in Galatiansthat talks about bearing one
(06:12):
another's burdens.
And it is the the scriptureconcludes with like that's our
that's our direction, that's ourcommand, that's our purpose.
And so that's what we live todo.
So we get to be in one another'slives and lift one another up
and encourage one another andhelp each other.
(06:32):
And that is no different forpeople with disabilities.
And here's the thing (06:36):
there are they're gonna come, it's not it,
it can be one-sided.
And the invitation to the tablein Luke 14 tells us that to
reach out and and to inviteothers in that can't repay you,
and some of these families won'tbe able to return what you're
you're giving them, but some ofthem will want to, and they can,
(07:00):
and that's their participationin the body of Christ.
So I'll give you an example.
A few weeks ago, we had theawesome opportunity of
ministering to families at aparent support group meeting
with a little Bible study.
And as a part of that, anindividual who had been
attending our respite nights andour camp and stuff like that for
(07:22):
about three years, his mom cameto the parent Bible study.
It was the first thing that shehad participated in in regards
to anything that we've done.
And she came in saying, I don'tknow, I don't have a Bible, I
don't know how to read it.
I it's not that I don't believein Jesus, I just don't, I don't,
(07:43):
I don't get it, I don't knowwhat to do, I don't have it.
And so she left that night,having accepted Jesus into her
heart, and we've had consistentconnection with them, and
they've attended church and allthe things.
And the last thing that she saidto me is, I I want to
participate, I want to be ofhelp.
(08:05):
And she was saying that inregards to respite night.
And I looked at her and I said,Listen, respite night is your
night, so I won't allow you toparticipate in that, but here's
what else is going on at thechurch, and we'd love for you to
be a part of that.
And she jumped right in and wasa part of all of those kinds of
things.
And so know that sometimes therewill be a return, but we
(08:26):
shouldn't expect the return.
However, and I say that weshouldn't respect the return.
Everybody should have theopportunity to be a part of the
body of Christ and serve withthe gifts and purposes that God
had created them with.
And so, yes, you won't see areturn maybe in the same way,
but being involved in being apart of the body of Christ is
(08:48):
definitely a process and aprocedure and a direction.
I don't know that I would callit a procedure, but a direction
that we want those families tobe able to move in because we
want them to operate in thegifts that God has given them
for.
And so those are some things tothink about.
I have mentioned some otherthings that you can do to
(09:10):
minister to the whole family.
One of the things that we do ona regular basis is a respite
night.
So it's a two and a half hourprogram where parents get to
drop off their loved ones of allages.
And then the parents can go outto dinner, they can go home,
take a nap, they can go groceryshopping, they can go get some
ice cream or coffee or whateverthey choose to do.
(09:30):
And then we get to minister totheir loved ones while they're
there.
So that's a great, great way tohelp and benefit the family.
In as a part of those respitenights, it's kind of a twofold
thing.
We do have a sibling program sothose siblings can attend so mom
and dad can really have anactual break.
And or sometimes the parentswill use that as a special time
(09:55):
to have with their siblings.
So it it operates in a in amultitude of ways.
Another thing that I already hadmentioned is the parent support
group, the Bible study that wedo for parents.
That's an incredible support.
We provide care for their lovedones.
We also feed them dinner.
So those are less things thatthey have to think about on that
night.
(10:15):
And that is an incrediblebenefit and conversations that
parents get to have in anunderstanding environment that's
not judging them, that is thereto support them and to help to
guide them.
Something you're gonna justthink about and it's gonna sound
silly because it's just kind ofthe norm.
(10:36):
Treat them as you would anyoneelse, right?
If something's going on in theirfamily, what does the church do?
Okay, someone's having surgery,we're providing meals.
If you're if the if one of theindividuals in the household
that carries the job and helpswith finances loses their job or
cannot work for some reason, wehelp to benefit.
(10:58):
We bring a meal, we grab somegroceries, things like that to
help to reach out to thosefamily members, let them know
that they are not forgotten,they have not been left behind,
and that their church body isgoing to bear their burdens and
help with them where they are inthat moment.
So those are some very easyeveryday things that you can do
(11:22):
as you support families.
Because here's the deal (11:24):
when you make it possible for an
individual with disabilities tobe in the church, you also make
it possible for the rest oftheir family to be in church.
And that is where the gospelbecomes accessible, where God
can move in the lives of hispeople and they can live out the
purposes that he has createdthem for.
(11:46):
And then we can all bring gloryto God.
(12:13):
We're gonna keep thisconversation going.
We're gonna make the accessiblegospel available to individuals
with disabilities in ourchurches and in our communities
so that every person has theopportunity to know Christ, to
grow in him, and to serve himwith the gifts that he is given.
If you want to dive deeper onyour own, you can check out the
indispensable people blog or mybooks on Amazon called The
(12:36):
Indispensable Kid or GospelAccessibility and the
Indispensable People.
Hey, hey, my name is Tracy Coral and welcome to
Indispensable People.
I'm a pastor, a teacher, amissionary, a mom, a wife, and I
believe that every person shouldhave access to the gospel so
that they can know Christ, growin him, and serve him with the
gifts that he has given.
Over 65 million Americans have adisability.
(00:24):
That's 15 to 20% of everycommunity.
And over 85% of thoseindividuals do not attend
church.
90% of pastors believe that theyare a disability-friendly
church, but only 20% of parentsand families agree.
Let's dive deep into hardtopics, big questions,
(00:47):
perceptions, stereotypes, and somuch more.
Hey and welcome to today'sepisode.
Thank you for joining me.
We are talking about somefrequently asked questions, and
we know that our supporters, ourlisteners, and readers have
(01:07):
submitted these questions, andwe know and feel like if they've
asked the questions, youprobably have them too.
So we're gonna get after it andwe're gonna answer another one
of these frequently askedquestions.
So here it is.
The question is how can youminister to the whole family?
This is probably one of my mostfavorite questions because I
(01:30):
know that disability ministry isnot just about the individual
with a disability.
There is a domino effect thathappens when we serve the whole
family.
And so we need to consider notonly the parents or the
caregivers that are tied to thecare for the child.
And this, when I say child, thatparent is caregiving likely
(01:53):
through adulthood.
So that brings its owninteresting set of needs.
And so we don't just considerthe parents though, we really
need to also consider theirsiblings because siblings are
living a life that other kidsand other siblings are not when
they have an individual withdisabilities in their home.
(02:14):
And so here's what we need todo.
First and foremost, super easything to do.
It doesn't cost a thing.
All it takes is kindness and thelove of Jesus, and that is to
welcome the whole family, seewho they are and build
relationships with them, right?
The only thing that's requiredis time, investment, and
listening.
(02:34):
And that is doable for allpeople who love Jesus because
that is what Jesus would do.
And so getting to know thosefamilies, taking time often,
here's probably one of thenumber one mistakes, and I know
I have made it, is you see thatfamily hustling through and they
look a little harried and youknow, busy.
(02:56):
And so it's like, okay, I can'tstop them.
I don't want to interrupt them.
They've got enough going on.
I don't want to bother them inthis moment.
But I'm gonna say this in thenicest way possible bother them.
They need to know that they'reseen.
They need to know that someonecares about them.
And we don't do that by leavingthem be and not engaging with
(03:19):
them.
And so we need to make sure thatwe are engaging with them, that
we are having questions, that weare checking in on them.
And that, and you can saysomething as, I see that you are
you are super busy, just want tocheck in, see how you're doing
today.
Just wanted to say hello, soglad that you're here today.
Those kinds of things.
And here's the deal (03:39):
that's the surface level, right?
So the next step in this islet's go beyond the surface.
Let's just go beyond the hi, howare ya?
Have a great day, so glad to seeyou conversation.
That's important because that'syou, their initial, that's the
first connection.
But we don't want to stop there.
(04:00):
We want to go beyond thesurface.
We want to invite them to anevents.
And if we invite them to events,we have to make sure that
there's care for their lovedones.
And we want to invite them outto coffee, invite them over to
your home.
Say if you notice something thatneeds done, you say, Hey, can I
can I handle that for you?
(04:21):
Can I take that for you?
And sometimes we have to be alittle bit more forceful and say
things like, Hey, I'm gonna dothis for you, not ask, because a
lot of times people don't wantto accept help and they don't
want to ask for help.
And so sometimes we just have toinsist on it in a very
respectful way, of course.
But we want to go beyond thatsurface level, really build
(04:45):
relationships with them becausethat's where you see the needs,
that's where you get into theconnection, that's where you
open the door to accessibility.
And just another thought andpicture from this a lot of times
those families struggle to getto church on Sunday morning or
Wednesday night or to an event.
And it's happening because theirindividual is struggles with
(05:09):
maybe transition, being indifferent places, maybe it's
just difficult outside of thehome.
Maybe they are someone whoelopes, which means that they
wander away from their people.
And so there's a multitude ofreasons.
If you're caring for someone whorequires being fed and dressed
(05:30):
and all that kind of stuffbefore you leave the house,
that's an exhausting marathonbefore you've even gone
anywhere.
So all of those kinds of thingsmake it difficult for that
family to get to church.
And then if we make it difficultto be at church, which means
they don't feel welcomed, theydon't feel seen, they don't feel
(05:51):
included, then they're not goingto go through all of that work
to get their family out the doorto come to church on a Sunday
morning or a Wednesday night orto an event.
So going beyond those basics andmaking sure that you're stepping
into their lives.
And there's a verse in Galatiansthat talks about bearing one
(06:12):
another's burdens.
And it is the the scriptureconcludes with like that's our
that's our direction, that's ourcommand, that's our purpose.
And so that's what we live todo.
So we get to be in one another'slives and lift one another up
and encourage one another andhelp each other.
(06:32):
And that is no different forpeople with disabilities.
And here's the thing (06:36):
there are they're gonna come, it's not it,
it can be one-sided.
And the invitation to the tablein Luke 14 tells us that to
reach out and and to inviteothers in that can't repay you,
and some of these families won'tbe able to return what you're
you're giving them, but some ofthem will want to, and they can,
(07:00):
and that's their participationin the body of Christ.
So I'll give you an example.
A few weeks ago, we had theawesome opportunity of
ministering to families at aparent support group meeting
with a little Bible study.
And as a part of that, anindividual who had been
attending our respite nights andour camp and stuff like that for
(07:22):
about three years, his mom cameto the parent Bible study.
It was the first thing that shehad participated in in regards
to anything that we've done.
And she came in saying, I don'tknow, I don't have a Bible, I
don't know how to read it.
I it's not that I don't believein Jesus, I just don't, I don't,
(07:43):
I don't get it, I don't knowwhat to do, I don't have it.
And so she left that night,having accepted Jesus into her
heart, and we've had consistentconnection with them, and
they've attended church and allthe things.
And the last thing that she saidto me is, I I want to
participate, I want to be ofhelp.
(08:05):
And she was saying that inregards to respite night.
And I looked at her and I said,Listen, respite night is your
night, so I won't allow you toparticipate in that, but here's
what else is going on at thechurch, and we'd love for you to
be a part of that.
And she jumped right in and wasa part of all of those kinds of
things.
And so know that sometimes therewill be a return, but we
(08:26):
shouldn't expect the return.
However, and I say that weshouldn't respect the return.
Everybody should have theopportunity to be a part of the
body of Christ and serve withthe gifts and purposes that God
had created them with.
And so, yes, you won't see areturn maybe in the same way,
but being involved in being apart of the body of Christ is
(08:48):
definitely a process and aprocedure and a direction.
I don't know that I would callit a procedure, but a direction
that we want those families tobe able to move in because we
want them to operate in thegifts that God has given them
for.
And so those are some things tothink about.
I have mentioned some otherthings that you can do to
(09:10):
minister to the whole family.
One of the things that we do ona regular basis is a respite
night.
So it's a two and a half hourprogram where parents get to
drop off their loved ones of allages.
And then the parents can go outto dinner, they can go home,
take a nap, they can go groceryshopping, they can go get some
ice cream or coffee or whateverthey choose to do.
(09:30):
And then we get to minister totheir loved ones while they're
there.
So that's a great, great way tohelp and benefit the family.
In as a part of those respitenights, it's kind of a twofold
thing.
We do have a sibling program sothose siblings can attend so mom
and dad can really have anactual break.
And or sometimes the parentswill use that as a special time
(09:55):
to have with their siblings.
So it it operates in a in amultitude of ways.
Another thing that I already hadmentioned is the parent support
group, the Bible study that wedo for parents.
That's an incredible support.
We provide care for their lovedones.
We also feed them dinner.
So those are less things thatthey have to think about on that
night.
(10:15):
And that is an incrediblebenefit and conversations that
parents get to have in anunderstanding environment that's
not judging them, that is thereto support them and to help to
guide them.
Something you're gonna justthink about and it's gonna sound
silly because it's just kind ofthe norm.
(10:36):
Treat them as you would anyoneelse, right?
If something's going on in theirfamily, what does the church do?
Okay, someone's having surgery,we're providing meals.
If you're if the if one of theindividuals in the household
that carries the job and helpswith finances loses their job or
cannot work for some reason, wehelp to benefit.
(10:58):
We bring a meal, we grab somegroceries, things like that to
help to reach out to thosefamily members, let them know
that they are not forgotten,they have not been left behind,
and that their church body isgoing to bear their burdens and
help with them where they are inthat moment.
So those are some very easyeveryday things that you can do
(11:22):
as you support families.
Because here's the deal (11:24):
when you make it possible for an
individual with disabilities tobe in the church, you also make
it possible for the rest oftheir family to be in church.
And that is where the gospelbecomes accessible, where God
can move in the lives of hispeople and they can live out the
purposes that he has createdthem for.
(11:46):
And then we can all bring gloryto God.
(12:13):
We're gonna keep thisconversation going.
We're gonna make the accessiblegospel available to individuals
with disabilities in ourchurches and in our communities
so that every person has theopportunity to know Christ, to
grow in him, and to serve himwith the gifts that he is given.
If you want to dive deeper onyour own, you can check out the
indispensable people blog or mybooks on Amazon called The
(12:36):
Indispensable Kid or GospelAccessibility and the
Indispensable People.
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