January 10, 2025 • 13 mins
What happens when the tranquility of a weekend morning clashes with the chaos of getting a family, especially one with disabilities, ready for church? Join me, Tracy Corll, as I share a personal journey through the Sunday morning challenges that many families face. From wrestling with ADHD and sensory sensitivities to overcoming the physical barriers that come with disabilities, we explore the intricate dance of morning routines, wardrobe battles, and social anxieties that can make Sundays feel like a battleground rather than a sanctuary.
Together, we'll tackle the critical need for inclusivity within church environments, discussing practical solutions that can transform church experiences for families with disabilities. Discover how sensory tools, visual schedules, and enhanced physical accessibility can create a welcoming and accommodating space for all to grow in faith. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to reimagine how we approach community and accessibility, aiming to make every family feel embraced and valued in their spiritual journey. Join the conversation as we strive for improvement, ensuring that church is a place of peace and inclusion for everyone.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, my name is Tracy Correll and welcome to
Indispensable People.
I'm a wife, mom, teacher,pastor and missionary, and I
believe that every person shouldhave the opportunity to know
Christ, grow in Him and serveHim with the gifts that he has
given, no matter their ability.
Over 65 million Americans havea disability.
That's 25% of the population.
(00:26):
However, over 80% of them arenot inside the walls of our
church.
Let's dive into those hardtopics biblical foundations,
perceptions and world-changingideas.
Hey, hey, and welcome totoday's episode.
(00:50):
We're talking about the Sundaymorning struggle.
I've been a mom for over 19years, which means for 19 years
I've been experiencing theSunday morning struggle with my
kids trying to get everybodyready, everybody up, everybody
dressed, looking decent.
I always try to tell them,especially now that they're
(01:11):
older and get themselves ready.
Our goal is to not look like ahomeless family.
So I really work hard and haveworked hard in the past years to
try to get my family up, readyand to be on time.
I am not a late person.
I like to be on time.
My husband likes to beawkwardly early, but because we
(01:32):
serve in ministry, we're alwaysthere early, no matter what,
because there are things to do.
So what does that mean and howdoes that look when we consider
families with disabilities?
And I can tell you frompersonal experience that by the
time I would get out of my houseespecially when my kids were
little I would feel like I hadalready been in a battle.
(01:55):
I remember teaching and in aschool that was my job, and when
I would get there, all of mykids went to that school, and so
not only was I with them athome getting them ready, but
then drove to school with them,got in the building, they had to
hang out in my room till theygot in the classroom and by the
(02:17):
time they went on to theirteachers I had felt like I had
lived a whole day.
And I don't know about you, butwhatever reason, we all know the
reason.
There's spiritual background,right that Sunday mornings are
so very difficult and seeminglyharder than any other day.
Now I'll tell you my husbandworks 12-hour night shifts and a
(02:40):
lot of times he will pushthrough, push through, push
through and even have extra daysthat he is responsible for
working mandatory overtime, andit seems like on that last day
all the defenses are down andhis body can finally go.
Ok, I don't have thisresponsibility anymore.
Let's shut down, turn off.
(03:02):
We're not firing on all thecylinders, and I think sometimes
that's what a weekend does tous, right?
We go, go, go all week long,and then by the time we hit the
weekend, we're ready for a rest.
And so we have this false senseof security that Sunday
mornings, when we get up forchurch, that we have this time
(03:27):
or piece of rest, and so itbecomes more difficult to get up
.
But that consideration ofindividuals with disabilities
living in the household addsother layers to it, and I can
tell you, I have two boys withADHD, both who take medicine.
(03:51):
We waited till way later inlife to do all of that, but a
lot of times, until theirmedicine kicks in, chaos ensues,
and so instructions have tohappen, repeat instructions have
to happen, follow-up has tooccur, checking in with them
multiple times.
(04:11):
Just pure chaos and theimpulses of what they can do to
one another during that time,because they are not filtering
their thoughts and their actionsas well as they should be
becomes all kinds of things wellas they should be, becomes all
(04:32):
kinds of things.
And that's just the types ofstruggles that we deal with as a
family.
Add to that the sensorysensitivities that my son has,
which include the type ofclothing that he would wear on a
Sunday.
Listen, if he has his choice,he's going to wear a soft pair
of sweatpants and a soft t-shirtevery day of his life.
He doesn't like scratchy, itchy, stiff clothes and he also has
(04:54):
issues with getting overheated.
So all of those things playinto the type of clothing that
he's going to wear on a Sundaymorning.
Now, granted, we are not a superdress up kind of family for
church.
We go somewhat casual to church.
I mean, we're not wearingshorts and T-shirts in the
(05:16):
summer, but we are wearing, like, just khakis and T-shirts, and
the boys, on occasion, will wearflannel in the winter or
something like that.
My daughter, you know, rangesfrom all kinds of things, so the
change in clothing on a Sundaymorning creates an issue.
Then you add to it the socialanxiety that my son feels on a
(05:39):
daily basis is increased,knowing he's going to church and
that people will be interactingwith him.
So all of those kinds of thingsbottled up into one day,
getting out of the house,anticipating what is to come.
We've already hit thebattlefield before we've stepped
into the car.
And that's just my family.
(06:01):
You can think about otherfamilies who may have physical
challenges to overcome, wherethat parent may have to feed and
dress a whole other person,including themselves, before
they can get out the door in themorning.
And it's not just hey,everybody, let's run out to the
(06:22):
car and get in.
There might be ramps andloading that has to happen, a
special vehicle that is used toprovide for that.
There are all kinds of thingsto consider in that respect, all
of which take extra time, sothat consideration of you know a
Sunday morning sleep in doesn'tnecessarily happen.
It's requiring the same thingsas if you are getting up for
(06:45):
work and preparing the kids togo off to school, and this can
happen from any age range.
Add to that whether it's anintellectual disability where
understanding and explanationshappen, or it is more sensory
sensitivities that occur, theanxieties that fill that I had
(07:09):
mentioned, like with my son.
There's all kinds of pieces andparts that make the Sunday
morning a struggle.
In a blog written by Differentby Design Learning is an article
titled when Church Hurts, whyFamilies Struggle on Sundays,
and this mom says no one tellsyou that church and sensory
(07:30):
issues are like oil and water.
They don't mention it in theOld Testament or when you get
the diagnosis, or even in thebooks that talk about what to
expect.
And later she said for my son,the sensory experience of going
to church is something similarto torture.
And she says I wish I wasexaggerating to make a point.
(07:51):
This mom goes on to say, nomatter what he chooses, when
church is over, he is exhaustedand anxious.
He makes his way back throughthe crowded lobby and smells and
the people touching him and thekids playing.
And then he hears me say weshould go out to lunch, knowing
this means more smells, clangingkitchen noises, the constant
buzz of conversation at tablesand horribly loud music they
(08:13):
play in the background.
He panics and the meltdownbegins.
And the mom says this everysingle Sunday.
So, okay, how do we considerthis when we're talking about
special needs ministry?
Well, there are things that wecan do in the church to make
(08:34):
families feel more welcomed,more at ease, having
expectations, predictability,all of that kind of stuff to
help these families.
We will not be able to perfectevery piece and part of this
because, if it's like my son,his preference is to be at home,
and home where there is quiet,where he has his own private
(08:58):
space in his bedroom where therearen't people that he is
unfamiliar with talking to himor touching him or hugging him
or shaking his hand.
There isn't occasions where hehas to interact in uncomfortable
ways and asked to interact withinformation and Bible stuff
(09:20):
that maybe he struggles tounderstand.
So what can we do?
Here are some tangible thingsas the church that we can reach
into families and be able to bea support to them.
One we can consider the entryinto the church.
For example, we have a littlegirl that attends our church and
upon entry to the church it isjust overwhelming.
(09:42):
Coming into a lobby filled withpeople talking and noises and
all of that kind of stuff isoverwhelming to her.
So we offer an alternativeentrance and in that alternative
entrance there's no one else inthe room except for her buddies
, and those buddies support herupon entry, and even so much so
(10:02):
that whenever she enters in theroom we also have a pop-up
sensory tent that she can scootin and hide and feel comfortable
when she first arrives.
Another option is providing abuddy bag upon check-in,
especially for kids.
This can also be available atthe Welcome Center for youth or
adults.
In this bag can be sensorytools, noise-canceling
(10:27):
headphones and other tools tohelp access the Bible, the
services and interact withpeople throughout the morning.
Those are just two, but then wecan consider what happens in
the spaces, whether it's Sundayschool, children's church or
another class here or there, ora meeting that happens before or
(10:50):
after church.
We can provide alternative waysto receive information.
We can help with visualschedules so that the area and
experience is predictable.
We can also provide breaks andoutlets through a buddy system
where people, if they need toleave the space, can have a
(11:13):
break, whether it's in a sensoryroom or just a quiet space or a
walk in the hallway.
Those are all really greatopportunities to serve the
family and meet the needs of theindividual impacted by
disability Because, let's behonest, this has a domino effect
, right?
First of all, this article thatI shared with you ends with the
(11:36):
family choosing not to attendchurch anymore.
That is a huge impact upon thefamily in multiple ways.
We want to make sure that thefamily can attend and, if we can
prepare the sensory needs,where we can prepare for
educational, learning, spiritualneeds, and we can make sure
(11:57):
that our buildings arephysically accessible for people
to come inside and feelcomfortable and maneuver and get
from place to place in a waythat isn't a burden upon them.
We can make sure the familyfeels welcomed inside the church
, but not only that when they'rethere, they can have full
participation in the total lifeof the church by being able to
(12:20):
have those alternative spaces,ways to learn and be discipled,
and also to make way for therelease or break from those
sensory experiences that maybecome overwhelming.
In the end, we want the familyto be able to be welcomed and,
(12:41):
whenever they leave the church,be refreshed and not overwhelmed
, feeling as though they havealready fought multiple battles
by the time they go home.
Why?
Because if the battle is toobig, it is likely they will not
return, and if they don't return, then we lose the opportunity
to share the gospel and makeJesus known among all of his
(13:05):
creation.
Do I know everything aboutdisability ministry?
Do I have all the answers?
Have I done everythingperfectly?
I have absolutely not, but weare going to continue this
conversation so that people ofall abilities can have the
opportunity to know Christ, growin Him and serve Him with the
gifts that he has given them.
Hi, my name is Tracy Correll and welcome to
Indispensable People.
I'm a wife, mom, teacher,pastor and missionary, and I
believe that every person shouldhave the opportunity to know
Christ, grow in Him and serveHim with the gifts that he has
given, no matter their ability.
Over 65 million Americans havea disability.
That's 25% of the population.
(00:26):
However, over 80% of them arenot inside the walls of our
church.
Let's dive into those hardtopics biblical foundations,
perceptions and world-changingideas.
Hey, hey, and welcome totoday's episode.
(00:50):
We're talking about the Sundaymorning struggle.
I've been a mom for over 19years, which means for 19 years
I've been experiencing theSunday morning struggle with my
kids trying to get everybodyready, everybody up, everybody
dressed, looking decent.
I always try to tell them,especially now that they're
(01:11):
older and get themselves ready.
Our goal is to not look like ahomeless family.
So I really work hard and haveworked hard in the past years to
try to get my family up, readyand to be on time.
I am not a late person.
I like to be on time.
My husband likes to beawkwardly early, but because we
(01:32):
serve in ministry, we're alwaysthere early, no matter what,
because there are things to do.
So what does that mean and howdoes that look when we consider
families with disabilities?
And I can tell you frompersonal experience that by the
time I would get out of my houseespecially when my kids were
little I would feel like I hadalready been in a battle.
(01:55):
I remember teaching and in aschool that was my job, and when
I would get there, all of mykids went to that school, and so
not only was I with them athome getting them ready, but
then drove to school with them,got in the building, they had to
hang out in my room till theygot in the classroom and by the
(02:17):
time they went on to theirteachers I had felt like I had
lived a whole day.
And I don't know about you, butwhatever reason, we all know the
reason.
There's spiritual background,right that Sunday mornings are
so very difficult and seeminglyharder than any other day.
Now I'll tell you my husbandworks 12-hour night shifts and a
(02:40):
lot of times he will pushthrough, push through, push
through and even have extra daysthat he is responsible for
working mandatory overtime, andit seems like on that last day
all the defenses are down andhis body can finally go.
Ok, I don't have thisresponsibility anymore.
Let's shut down, turn off.
(03:02):
We're not firing on all thecylinders, and I think sometimes
that's what a weekend does tous, right?
We go, go, go all week long,and then by the time we hit the
weekend, we're ready for a rest.
And so we have this false senseof security that Sunday
mornings, when we get up forchurch, that we have this time
(03:27):
or piece of rest, and so itbecomes more difficult to get up
.
But that consideration ofindividuals with disabilities
living in the household addsother layers to it, and I can
tell you, I have two boys withADHD, both who take medicine.
(03:51):
We waited till way later inlife to do all of that, but a
lot of times, until theirmedicine kicks in, chaos ensues,
and so instructions have tohappen, repeat instructions have
to happen, follow-up has tooccur, checking in with them
multiple times.
(04:11):
Just pure chaos and theimpulses of what they can do to
one another during that time,because they are not filtering
their thoughts and their actionsas well as they should be
becomes all kinds of things wellas they should be, becomes all
(04:32):
kinds of things.
And that's just the types ofstruggles that we deal with as a
family.
Add to that the sensorysensitivities that my son has,
which include the type ofclothing that he would wear on a
Sunday.
Listen, if he has his choice,he's going to wear a soft pair
of sweatpants and a soft t-shirtevery day of his life.
He doesn't like scratchy, itchy, stiff clothes and he also has
(04:54):
issues with getting overheated.
So all of those things playinto the type of clothing that
he's going to wear on a Sundaymorning.
Now, granted, we are not a superdress up kind of family for
church.
We go somewhat casual to church.
I mean, we're not wearingshorts and T-shirts in the
(05:16):
summer, but we are wearing, like, just khakis and T-shirts, and
the boys, on occasion, will wearflannel in the winter or
something like that.
My daughter, you know, rangesfrom all kinds of things, so the
change in clothing on a Sundaymorning creates an issue.
Then you add to it the socialanxiety that my son feels on a
(05:39):
daily basis is increased,knowing he's going to church and
that people will be interactingwith him.
So all of those kinds of thingsbottled up into one day,
getting out of the house,anticipating what is to come.
We've already hit thebattlefield before we've stepped
into the car.
And that's just my family.
(06:01):
You can think about otherfamilies who may have physical
challenges to overcome, wherethat parent may have to feed and
dress a whole other person,including themselves, before
they can get out the door in themorning.
And it's not just hey,everybody, let's run out to the
(06:22):
car and get in.
There might be ramps andloading that has to happen, a
special vehicle that is used toprovide for that.
There are all kinds of thingsto consider in that respect, all
of which take extra time, sothat consideration of you know a
Sunday morning sleep in doesn'tnecessarily happen.
It's requiring the same thingsas if you are getting up for
(06:45):
work and preparing the kids togo off to school, and this can
happen from any age range.
Add to that whether it's anintellectual disability where
understanding and explanationshappen, or it is more sensory
sensitivities that occur, theanxieties that fill that I had
(07:09):
mentioned, like with my son.
There's all kinds of pieces andparts that make the Sunday
morning a struggle.
In a blog written by Differentby Design Learning is an article
titled when Church Hurts, whyFamilies Struggle on Sundays,
and this mom says no one tellsyou that church and sensory
(07:30):
issues are like oil and water.
They don't mention it in theOld Testament or when you get
the diagnosis, or even in thebooks that talk about what to
expect.
And later she said for my son,the sensory experience of going
to church is something similarto torture.
And she says I wish I wasexaggerating to make a point.
(07:51):
This mom goes on to say, nomatter what he chooses, when
church is over, he is exhaustedand anxious.
He makes his way back throughthe crowded lobby and smells and
the people touching him and thekids playing.
And then he hears me say weshould go out to lunch, knowing
this means more smells, clangingkitchen noises, the constant
buzz of conversation at tablesand horribly loud music they
(08:13):
play in the background.
He panics and the meltdownbegins.
And the mom says this everysingle Sunday.
So, okay, how do we considerthis when we're talking about
special needs ministry?
Well, there are things that wecan do in the church to make
(08:34):
families feel more welcomed,more at ease, having
expectations, predictability,all of that kind of stuff to
help these families.
We will not be able to perfectevery piece and part of this
because, if it's like my son,his preference is to be at home,
and home where there is quiet,where he has his own private
(08:58):
space in his bedroom where therearen't people that he is
unfamiliar with talking to himor touching him or hugging him
or shaking his hand.
There isn't occasions where hehas to interact in uncomfortable
ways and asked to interact withinformation and Bible stuff
(09:20):
that maybe he struggles tounderstand.
So what can we do?
Here are some tangible thingsas the church that we can reach
into families and be able to bea support to them.
One we can consider the entryinto the church.
For example, we have a littlegirl that attends our church and
upon entry to the church it isjust overwhelming.
(09:42):
Coming into a lobby filled withpeople talking and noises and
all of that kind of stuff isoverwhelming to her.
So we offer an alternativeentrance and in that alternative
entrance there's no one else inthe room except for her buddies
, and those buddies support herupon entry, and even so much so
(10:02):
that whenever she enters in theroom we also have a pop-up
sensory tent that she can scootin and hide and feel comfortable
when she first arrives.
Another option is providing abuddy bag upon check-in,
especially for kids.
This can also be available atthe Welcome Center for youth or
adults.
In this bag can be sensorytools, noise-canceling
(10:27):
headphones and other tools tohelp access the Bible, the
services and interact withpeople throughout the morning.
Those are just two, but then wecan consider what happens in
the spaces, whether it's Sundayschool, children's church or
another class here or there, ora meeting that happens before or
(10:50):
after church.
We can provide alternative waysto receive information.
We can help with visualschedules so that the area and
experience is predictable.
We can also provide breaks andoutlets through a buddy system
where people, if they need toleave the space, can have a
(11:13):
break, whether it's in a sensoryroom or just a quiet space or a
walk in the hallway.
Those are all really greatopportunities to serve the
family and meet the needs of theindividual impacted by
disability Because, let's behonest, this has a domino effect
, right?
First of all, this article thatI shared with you ends with the
(11:36):
family choosing not to attendchurch anymore.
That is a huge impact upon thefamily in multiple ways.
We want to make sure that thefamily can attend and, if we can
prepare the sensory needs,where we can prepare for
educational, learning, spiritualneeds, and we can make sure
(11:57):
that our buildings arephysically accessible for people
to come inside and feelcomfortable and maneuver and get
from place to place in a waythat isn't a burden upon them.
We can make sure the familyfeels welcomed inside the church
, but not only that when they'rethere, they can have full
participation in the total lifeof the church by being able to
(12:20):
have those alternative spaces,ways to learn and be discipled,
and also to make way for therelease or break from those
sensory experiences that maybecome overwhelming.
In the end, we want the familyto be able to be welcomed and,
(12:41):
whenever they leave the church,be refreshed and not overwhelmed
, feeling as though they havealready fought multiple battles
by the time they go home.
Why?
Because if the battle is toobig, it is likely they will not
return, and if they don't return, then we lose the opportunity
to share the gospel and makeJesus known among all of his
(13:05):
creation.
Do I know everything aboutdisability ministry?
Do I have all the answers?
Have I done everythingperfectly?
I have absolutely not, but weare going to continue this
conversation so that people ofall abilities can have the
opportunity to know Christ, growin Him and serve Him with the
gifts that he has given them.
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