April 29, 2024 • 50 mins
In the latest episode of the podcast, Rick Ripma and Missy Shopshire dive into the transformative world of coaching, particularly focusing on how it serves as a crucial tool for navigating personal and professional transitions. Missy, a seasoned coach and a best-selling author, emphasizes the critical importance of aligning one’s life with genuine purpose and staying true to oneself. Their discussion is not just theoretical; it's filled with actionable insights, including the value of authenticity in networking and connecting with others on a deeper level based on shared interests and experiences.
As the conversation unfolds, Rick and Missy explore the specific benefits of coaching for high achievers in the real estate industry. They highlight how even the most experienced agents can significantly benefit from coaching, which can refine their skills in education, empowerment, and client prioritization. The importance of building a supportive community within the industry is also a focal point, underscoring how vital it is for real estate professionals to foster relationships that go beyond mere transactions.
The episode is rich with practical advice for real estate agents amid the evolving landscape marked by new legal challenges and market uncertainties. For instance, they discuss the necessity for agents to educate themselves about recent changes in real estate law and to prepare effectively to communicate these changes to buyers. Missy’s book, "Forces at Work," is recommended for listeners interested in a deeper dive into her coaching philosophy, and opportunities such as her group coaching program, "Powerful Partners," and the "Forces at Work Live" event are highlighted as excellent resources for professional growth and networking. Whether you're a seasoned agent or just starting out, this episode is packed with insights that promise to inspire and empower.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rick Ripma (00:00):
Have you ever considered hiring a coach? Well
(00:03):
today you can find out why youshould with Missy Shopshire.
Missy is a coach. She's a bestselling author of the book
forces at work. It helps youfind your passion. She's a
phenomenal person. I've knownher for quite some time and I
think you'll really enjoy theshow. So privileged, please
listen. And please buy our bookforces at work. Thanks so much.
(00:23):
Enjoy the show. Welcome toIndia's real estate gurus your
ultimate guide to the dynamicworld of real estate in Indiana
and I'm recruitment your hardworking mortgage guy and I've
been in real estate andmortgages for over 24 years.
Unknown (00:38):
And I'm Ian Arnold, a loan officer on Rick's hard
working mortgage team and we areboth with advisors Mortgage
Group together will empower youwith expert advice market trends
is successful stories from Gururealtors and local experts.
Whether you're a homeowner,investor or pro, join us as we
navigate the thriving indie realestate market. Now get ready to
(00:59):
unlock the doors of success. Oneepisode at a time. Well, welcome
everybody. We really appreciateyou all being here today. We
have Mrs. Shop Shire. Missy,welcome. Thanks so much for
joining me today.
Thank you for having me.
Rick Ripma (01:13):
You're You're welcome. And you're not a real
estate agent. You're actuallyyou do a lot of things other
than being a best sellingauthor, right? You wrote the
book forces at work. What else?
How else do you spend your time?
Unknown (01:25):
Well, I'm a mom and a wife. I've been married for
almost 30 years. So I was 30/30wedding anniversary in
September. And I have threechildren. My youngest is 18. And
as a senior is in high school,so he's graduating in a few
weeks. So that's kind of openingup a whole new stage of life.
(01:45):
And I'm also a grandma, so Wow,
Rick Ripma (01:48):
congratulations.
Yeah, hi. Bye. It's It'sinteresting when it when the
kids move out, because my myyoungest is now 31. And, and so
obviously he moved out yearsago, but it took a little while
for us. Now you'll probably bebetter prepared for this. But he
moves out. And then about sixmonths after he he's in school,
(02:08):
I looked at my wife and I said,we got to do something this is
boring is boring, yet, becauseyour life was wrapped around all
the things, all the activitiesthat they that they did. Yeah,
Unknown (02:23):
it's interesting that I'm approaching this stage of
life, because I'm also movinginto this stage with my
coaching. I've had severalpeople, you know, just like
highly ultra successful peoplewho are now wanting to retire.
And they figured out thefinancial piece of it, but the
emotional and kind of mentalpiece of it. They're looking for
help with that, like how do Imove into the next stage of my
(02:44):
life with a sense of purpose andfulfillment? When I'm so used to
being this or doing this? Soit's actually kind of fun that
that's opening up in my spaceright now is to help people with
that.
Rick Ripma (02:54):
Yeah, that's why I'm never retiring. Me either.
Unknown (02:58):
I see that all the time. Like, and I think and we
might talk about this today toRick is that, you know, when you
are I really like to blur thelines between my personal and
professional life. And I thinkwhen we're operating from a
sense of alignment, and purpose,work doesn't always feel like
work, it feels fun, and it feelsfulfilling. So you know, and
(03:18):
that's really what the book isall about to you know, it's how
to be a force at work whereveryou are in your personal life
and in your professional life.
Rick Ripma (03:25):
Well, I am a huge believer in coaching. And I will
tell you, I've had 170 180 Realestate agents on top agents in
the city and almost to a person.
They believe in coaching, theymay you they have somebody
there, I think it helps to havesomebody you're paying to coach
(03:46):
you and hold you accountable.
But I also think there'sdifferent stages for coaching. I
was thinking about this theother other day, you kind of you
just mentioned that it's justkind of funny, because I was
thinking about I thought, youknow, because I know and you are
coming on. So let's take this.
So what is somebody who'sthey've got tons of experience
(04:09):
in real estate. They they'redoing well. Why? Why do they
need a coach? How can you helpthat type of person?
Unknown (04:20):
Yeah, well, I think it's because we're always all
growing. And you know, I like touse the the example of Peyton
Manning. You know, PeytonManning never got to the point
where he was like, you know, Idon't think I need a coach
anymore. It's like people whowant to be excellent and who
really want to reach their fullpotential. That's who utilizes a
coach. And I think people havemisconceptions about what
(04:41):
coaching is, you it's really notlike the sports analogy is not
the perfect analogy, because inthe sports analogy, a coach is
drying up the plays and tellingyou what to do. And in business
coaching or in life coaching, areally good coach is creating
space because we have a lot ofin eternal wisdom and a lot of
(05:03):
ideas and creativity that wedon't tap into on a day to day
basis. So a good coach is goingto create space for people high
achievers, to come in and talkthrough their ideas to sort
things out. And also there'sthat accountability piece. But
But I think my role as a coachis to create space, and then
also to be the keeper of thestory. And to maintain the
(05:25):
bigger picture. So I can remindpeople, hey, this was the vision
you shared with me when we firststarted, is that still what
we're working towards? And so Ithink that's what people find
most helpful is just to reallyhave kind of a professional
partner, who is not that you'renot married to that is
(05:45):
objective, and is just holdingthat space and helping you
really reach your potential.
Rick Ripma (05:50):
Yeah, I know, for me with my coach, I know that he'll
hold me accountable. Which is,which is, it's not that they
actually have to, becauseknowing you got to, you know,
talk to them, you're gonna youkind of do you know, I don't
really want to do this, but I'mgoing to do it because they told
me I have to right. And so youdo that. But it was not what I
(06:14):
thought it took me a long timeto do a coach, because I
remember Coach, and I'm not Iwas not really much into sports,
but I did play sports in school,but I was never any good. And
so, so I remember coaches, thatpretty much what they did is
they yelled at you. And a andthey told you everything you
were doing wrong. And whatreally it is, is you're an
(06:39):
uplift, you uplift people. YouYeah. And you help us remember?
Because even you know, I've donethis a long time. I've been in
sales my entire life. So if you,right, give me this? Oh, yeah,
yeah. And
Unknown (06:52):
I was in real estate for a short time, too. So I
understand that kind of thebackground and the struggle.
Still. Yeah.
Rick Ripma (06:59):
But we forget, we forget certain things. That's
what I find. I've, I, I used towhen I sold new homes. I used to
tape myself. And when I was in awhether I was doing well or
doing poorly, but what I wasdoing poorly. I could listen to
those tapes. And I could go backand listen to the tapes on
people that I when I was doingwell. And it was amazing. You
(07:21):
go. I'm not saying that anymore.
Ah, yeah. So you
Unknown (07:25):
were gathering your own feedback? Yes. That's another
thing that coach does issometimes when I just repeat
back to people what they say tome, it sounds different coming
back. And we use this analogyall the time that it's hard to
read the label from inside thejar. And so part of what I do is
I help people see themselves,how others see them. And what's
(07:46):
really interesting, Rick, isthat people tend to, we're hard
on ourselves. And we tend tofocus on where we need to
improve and what we need to dobetter. And as a coach, I can
help people kind of shift intoutilizing their strengths more
in recognizing their strengthsmore. A lot of times people
don't even realize what theirtrue strengths are, until they
(08:07):
kind of get into that coachingspace. And then life and work
just gets a whole lot easier.
Rick Ripma (08:12):
Yeah, it makes a big difference when you get all
allied. And that's, that's, Ithink a big thing of what you do
is actually one of my questions.
So before we get into that one,let's go to we're talking, you
know, we talked about the thehigh achieving very successful
people. But what about a newreal estate agent? I believe
(08:32):
they need coaching, and even themiddle the middle ground, you
know, there's coaching helps allof that areas. So how does help,
as opposed to somebody who's gotall the experience? How can you
help somebody who's new?
Unknown (08:48):
Yeah, I mean, I think it would be the same advice I
would give in almost anyindustry is that you've got to
be educated, you've got to getthe skills, you've got to get
learn best practices,conventional wisdom, what has
worked for others. And I knowwhen I was coming up in my sales
career, I had a bench ofmentors. And these were mentors
that I never even met, becausethey'd written books. I'd seen
(09:11):
them speak. So I think getmentors, but in your search for
mentors, make sure that youdon't become trying to become
someone else. You have to putthat through the filter of who
you are, and show upauthentically. I like to gather
all the resources, gather a lot,learn from the best learn from
people who are doing great, andthen have some time to process
(09:32):
and think through how can Iemulate that in a way that's
authentic and true to who I am?
Yeah,
Rick Ripma (09:39):
I think, yeah, I hadn't thought of that. But
that's really critical becauseyou can you're never going to be
what you're capable of beingwhen you're trying to be
somebody else. Yeah,
Unknown (09:53):
so true. And you know, I believe this is what drives my
business and all of my work isthat I believe Each one of us
has a unique and importantpurpose to Find and fulfill. And
I love drawing that out inpeople in whether it's in real
estate or in the mortgagebusiness or whatever feel we're
we're serving the we have animpact on people, not just in
(10:17):
what we do, but in how we do it,and and who we are and how we
show up as we do that work. Andyou Rick, it's funny that I
don't stay in touch with all theservice providers that I've
worked with over the years. Butyou and I have known each other
a long time we have a lot oftime, I think that you first you
were someone referred you to me.
And you helped us with arefinance. I mean, me circa
(10:39):
2000 678 way back, then, Iremember that.
Rick Ripma (10:45):
I have records of it.
Unknown (10:48):
I remembered you because of you just it was just
very clear to me that you werereally good at what you did,
that you enjoyed helping usthrough that process. You had
systems in place that made iteasy. So that's what I'm talking
about alignment, you were sowell aligned. And it's easy to
work with someone like that. Andso that's probably one of the
reasons that we've seen intouch. Because I always
(11:09):
appreciate all about Yeah,
Rick Ripma (11:11):
well, I appreciate that. You know, it's funny,
because I, I think that that'salways the case, if you if if
you process it, you have yourprocess as you work at it, you
make it as smooth as possible.
But I'm still working onpurpose. I was. I have a book,
I'm in the middle of calledpurpose purpose.
Unknown (11:30):
You're gonna say it was called forces at work? You
Rick Ripma (11:33):
know, it, I'm going to read it I have, I didn't have
a chance I read. I love to readI read a tremendous amount. I
get up really early in themorning. Like, today, I got up
at 325. A. And and I read writeand then I have a whole process
(11:53):
of what I do I exercise I do. Ido do all that I do a lot trying
to, you know, get my geteverything straight, because I
think that's important. Yeah.
And but but I hadn't reallythought of purpose. Until I
started reading this book. Andquite honestly, the reason I'm
reading the book is they sent itto me off of something I did,
and they sent it to me and Ijust came and I thought, Oh,
(12:16):
I'll read it. Right. It was inmy stack, I finally got to it.
So and it's really interesting.
It takes forever, becauseprobably like your book, you
don't find it by just reading abook. Yeah,
Unknown (12:30):
I will say that it is it for like we weren't taught
this in school, how to find yourpurpose, you know, and I would
love to get forces that weregoing to the schools just to
start to help people think aboutthis. Because, you know, we're
expected to make decisions forour life at a very early age.
You know, before we're oldenough to order a beer, we're
supposed to know what we want todo with our lives. So but I
think that, you know, nowcoaching has come so far right?
(12:52):
That really a good coach canhelp you get to your purpose in
a couple of hours. And it'salways evolving, and there's
layers, but the essence of whoyou are and how you want to show
up and what you want tocontribute to the world. We can
get you to that in just a couplehours. And I know you're gonna
ask me what my superpower is.
And that's part of it. That isone component of your purpose is
(13:12):
what your superpower is. Yeah,
Rick Ripma (13:16):
it's one of my favorite questions. So let's
just, let's just do that. Now.
What is your superpower? Whatwould you say your superpower
superpowers are?
Unknown (13:24):
I would say it's two words, and it's connect and
compound. And so the connectionis what I value, that's one of
my core values is I kind ofbelieve that we could solve all
the world's problems if we justconnected the right people with
each other. And so I've beendoing that since I was a little
kid, you know, introducingpeople and connecting people.
And I would do that all day longfor free if I could, and I feel
(13:47):
like it makes the world a betterplace. And then the compel piece
of that is, is my greatest giftor my greatest strength is that
I'm persuasive. And I alwayshave been, it's a gift that I
was given. That's why I was goodat sales are good at you know,
whatever. And so now, you know,the third part of purpose. So
the first part is your greateststrength, your closest held core
(14:09):
value. The third part ofpurpose, a good purpose
statement is your mission. Andthat really is just the
application of your greateststrength and your core value
towards a specific outcome. Sofor example, I wrote forces at
work forces at work is connectand compile, it's just in book
form. And it's written to helpyou know professionals who are
(14:33):
feeling stuck or misaligned intheir life or career. And so
that's my mission is to helpthem you know, get unstuck.
Rick Ripma (14:41):
It's really interesting because Connect.
Again, it's one of the thingsthat many of the top agents tell
me is extremely important as areal estate agent is as being
that person who can connect. Soyou teach me People How to
connect up. Is there any anylittle tidbits? Or, you know, I
(15:06):
know you can't tell useverything?
Unknown (15:07):
Oh, well, I mean, one basic thing is for anybody who's
an entrepreneur, is to beauthentic to be yourself. You
know, I think there's a lot tobe said about conventional
wisdom about how to meet people,or how to network and all of
that. But if it's not authentic,and it doesn't resonate with
you, that's going to comeacross. So you've got to find
ways in there are people who aregreat at sales, who are not
(15:30):
extroverts, you know, sales isabout listening, and about being
able to position yourself as aguide. And we know that if you
want to position yourself as aguide, I always encourage my
clients to focus on two things.
You need empathy and authority,you need to be able to say, Hey,
I understand your situation. Iknow what it feels like to be in
your shoes. And I know what todo about it. And so I think in
(15:53):
connection, be authentic. Butalso just keep yourself busy
doing things that you love, likeyou said, you know, I'm a
reader, too. I'm at the libraryall the time. I meet people at
the library. I love to exercise,I meet people at the gym, I love
to travel, I meet people Itravel, every time I go on a
trip, I get a new client. Sofunny, because I'll just be
(16:14):
talking with someone on theplane or at the hotel. And
that's just that's an enjoyableway of getting out in the world.
And you'll tend to find peoplewho are who are like you or who
understand you, because they'redoing those things that they
love to be doing to.
Rick Ripma (16:31):
Yep, so if somebody wants to connect with you, what
is the best way to get a hold ofyou? The best way
Unknown (16:37):
it's going to be go to my website. And it's just Missy
shropshire.com. You can alsoGoogle forces@work.com. And I
would encourage, if you want toget connected, just fill out the
connect with me form. I don'tsend out a lot of email. But
when I do have an event here intown, or if I'm doing a class or
something, that's where I'llannounce that. It's
Rick Ripma (16:59):
it's mi SS yshopshire.com. Yeah, just the
Unknown (17:09):
way it sounds. People always try to put a C or extra
letters in there, but it's justshot cheer.
Rick Ripma (17:13):
Yeah, well, I can misspell my own name. Okay, I
can misspell anything. No. Imean, it's one of my
superpowers. Yeah. So. So canyou just kind of give us a
little more direction on compel?
What does that mean? How do wego about doing that?
Unknown (17:37):
Yeah, well, compel is that is, to me, it's it wasn't
the C word that stood forpersuasion. You know, I was like
trying to make this catchylittle purpose statement. And
when I landed on that it reallyresonated with me is connecting
compound. And so I want to becompelling. You know, I want to
be compelled by truth and growthand be able to expand my purpose
in the world, and I want to becompelling. So I love those two
(18:00):
words. But for me, I think earlyon in my sales career, I thought
my job was to persuade people,that they needed something or to
buy something. And now, as I'vematured, I think my job is to
compel people with their owntruth. And so when I work with
people, I help them kind of rootout the inconsistencies in their
(18:21):
life that they're really notokay with. And so instead of
having them having to do myplan, or come along with what I
think is right, I try to helpthem build their own, you know,
sense of integrity of how I wantto be and how I want to operate
in the world. Yes.
Rick Ripma (18:38):
Maybe you can tell me how mine is. Because maybe
I'm not talking about compel,because I've always worked when
I work with with somebody. Ihaven't always but I've learned
that. It's not. I don't I don'twant to make the decision for
him. Yeah, I want to educatethem. Yeah, that's what I work
out. I work at, you know, like,like, right, let's, let's take a
(19:01):
real estate agent. Right. Right.
Now there's a, there's a big,big deal with the new law coming
through, right? Yeah,everybody's a little worried
about it. So I'm puttingtogether information so that I
can educate on how as a lender,because because this is going to
be a big piece of it on how youfinance these, this commission,
right? And how, yes, so. So I'malmost done. So I could get that
(19:24):
out and educate them on exactlywhat can be done. And I do that
with my clients too, because Ithink, you know, here's your
options. Here's, you know, whyisn't FHA better than a
conventional? Well, it may befor somebody but it may not be
for another person, right? Sothey just have to understand so
they can make the right decisionfor them. Is that is that kind
(19:44):
of Compeller Am I missing?
Unknown (19:48):
Well, I think that's how you compel is through
education. That might be a wordthat reflects your purpose is,
you know, mine is connectingcompel yours might be educating
serve, you know. So you, that'show it's a perfect example of
how you are going todifferentiate yourself, you're
going to do all this research,and then kind of be hands off
(20:11):
and give people what they needin order to make the decision.
Rick Ripma (20:14):
Okay, so yeah, I just think that is compelling.
Yeah, I just tried to understandand hopefully other people who
are listening will kind of getan idea of, you know, and
understand it. Now, you we'vetalked a little bit about you've
been in sales that you were atop salesperson in a
multibillion dollar company,you're in the top 2%. Now the
Yeah, so So you have the resumein sales, and you understand
(20:38):
sales. So you understand. Howare you know what we go through?
Because I think, oh, yeah, it'sa tough, it's a tough industry,
any sales, but real estateagents have it really tough, I
think.
Unknown (20:51):
Yeah. And I think with the new law coming out, it's
definitely disconcerting. Andit's got to be unsettling for a
lot of people. But again, youknow, I always go back to Viktor
Frankl in situations like thisand put it out, you know,
probably you read this in highschool, I know I did. And it's
one of the books that has alwaysstayed with me as me in search
for meaning. And it's a storyabout how he survived in a
(21:13):
German concentration camp. And Iwent back to this again, during
COVID, anytime where I'm feelinghelpless, or like things are out
of my control. You know, ViktorFrankl says that the one freedom
that's never taken away from usis our freedom to choose a
response. And you saw duringCOVID, where people freaked out,
and they just gave into fear.
And things just got crazy. InAthens, I did that too.
(21:33):
Initially, like I was wearingmasks, I was sanitizing
everything I was seen at nightworrying about my family. And
then at one point, I realizedthis is crazy, I needed I had to
turn the TV off, and get back toa place of how choosing my
response, and choosing to becalm, and measured and careful,
but not fearful. And I think thesame is true in this
(21:57):
circumstance, too, is in everytime something like this comes
up, there are people that arejust going to throw their hands
in the air and just get allworried about it. And but there
will be people who find theopportunity. And that's what we
want to do is we want to stopand pause the power of the
pause, choose a response andlook for the opportunities that
will present themselves in anygiven situation.
Rick Ripma (22:20):
Yeah, and you know that that pause? Because in
really in anything in life, evenany reaction that you you, you
have, if you will just and I'mnot I'm not saying I'm really
great at this, I just noticed,it helps. Yeah, because you stop
and think about okay, so whatresponse do I want? And if you
(22:40):
give us response based based onwhat you think is the right
response, life will go a loteasier and better.
Unknown (22:47):
Yeah, I think I mean, I think we know this, but to
actually remember it in themoment. You know, I think that
we all make decisions from oneof two places, we're going to
make decisions from a place offear and uncertainty, or from a
place of love and confidence.
And I learned this as a parent,I think I'm a worst case
scenario, person by nature.
Like, I always imagine the worstcase scenario, what can happen.
(23:10):
And when I was with my kids, youknow, especially raising my
daughter when she was, you know,in her early 1920s, and she
wanted me out at night, youknow, nothing good happens after
midnight. And you know, I wouldjust worry about her, there's
girls being abducted inBloomington. And that's where
she was going to school. And soI, when I would have
conversations with her, what shewas sensing was the fear behind
(23:31):
it. And they never ended well.
But when I could take a pauseand shift and shift my energy
from a place of fear to a placeof love and competence, of my
belief in her because that'swhat she was looking for. She
would say, Mommy, don't trustme, you don't think I'm smart?
You don't think I That's how shewould interpret that. And when I
came from a place of Look, Iknow you are smart, and that you
are careful, and you take careof yourself. And there's crazy
(23:54):
people out there. And I want youto continue to be vigilant and
be aware of that. Whenever I wasable to shift my energy and take
responsibility for my own fear,those conversations went better.
And I think the same thing isgoing to be true in this
situation that your agents arefacing. It's we need to be calm,
we need to be measured. Andwe'll find the solutions. This
(24:16):
will be figured out. You knoweverything there is a solution
to every problem. Yeah. And itwill be figured out and you just
want to make sure you're on thecutting edge of the people that
are figuring that out. Yeah,
Rick Ripma (24:28):
I heard the number one agent in the country speak
on this topic. He was on one ofthe people I'm a membership of
and he basically said, you know,we just we just he said we have
to work together with ourlenders. And we have to educate
ourselves. And we have to haveour plan and and a buyer's agent
(24:51):
now is going to need to have apresentation to their buyers,
just like you have to yoursellers. Yeah Have you adjusted?
Unknown (25:02):
So the great news is we already know how to do that. We
just need to start implementingthat and insert our plan first.
Rick Ripma (25:09):
Yeah, that's right.
Have the plan, get it out there.
And I think the other thing is,is how do they get over being
afraid of it? Because I thinkthat you don't like, it tend to
be one who just does things. IfI'm afraid of it, I do it first,
right. But a lot of people don'tdo that.
Unknown (25:25):
Here's the thing is that which we resist persists.
And I think sometimes the fearis just, it's like the stages of
grief, you know, it's like, wewant it, we don't want this to
be true, we want to still fightit. And we want to still argue
with reality, basically, whatwe're doing is arguing with
reality, we're trying to makethings go back the way they
were, well, that's nothappening, you know, you got to
(25:46):
stop looking back, becausethat's not the direction we're
going. And it's it's basicchange management, it's just
accepting the truth and thereality of where things are, and
then choosing a belief, so. So Ithink sometimes fear is a
choice. I mean, you can chooseto work through your fear and to
face it, and choosing to believethat you're at exactly the right
(26:09):
place at exactly the right time,and you have everything you need
to meet this challenge. So thatis what I encourage my clients
to do, it's like less not comefrom a place of deficiency or
from being behind. Everybody'sin the same boat here. So let's
step onto this level playingfield and with this attitude
that I am enough, I have enough,and I can figure this out.
Rick Ripma (26:30):
Yeah, you gotta believe you can figure it out,
or you can't figure it out.
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Unknown (26:36):
And it's that connection, again, you know, I
love this about real estateagents is that there really is a
camaraderie and people I know,from when I was in, I think I
did 14 transactions, I was inreal estate for about a year and
a half. And I did really well,you know, I did one summer I did
14 transactions. And for a brandnew real estate agent, that's
not nothing. That was prettygood. But the camaraderie of
(26:59):
people that were willing to helpme even people who were on the
other side of the deal, youknow, we really strove to work
together for solutions. And Ithink that this is a, this is a
time where we just really needto lean into that and to be
supporting each other. In that,yeah,
Rick Ripma (27:15):
that's what I've noticed, that's what impresses
me about one of the things thatimpresses me about our real
estate community is that thevast majority of them will just
help out without any thought ofanything, just, they just want
to be there and help out. Andthat's, that says a lot about
the quality of people that areour real estate agents. And they
(27:35):
have a bad name name out therein the end, you know, out there
outside of the industry, it'scompletely unfair. It
Unknown (27:42):
is to you know, like I've seen some of the I'm not
well versed in the in the lawand all the nuances of what's
going on. But I did readsomething, I think there was a
New York Times article where itwas like, oh, agents are driving
people because of theCommission's, I never once
looked at what the commissionwas going to be on a sale when I
was in real estate. And, and Idon't think that drove any of my
colleagues at all, you know, weshowed up to serve and to help
(28:04):
and to educate and help peoplewith one of the most important
decisions of their life. And Idon't know any agents, I think
those types of people, if theywere doing that, they get
eliminated out of the industry.
You know, just because that'swhere they are, no one's gonna
want to work with someone likethat. That would come so I did I
disagreed with that article somuch, and I did not find that to
(28:26):
be true of the industry at all.
So as that's the dialogue that'sbeing out out there right now,
Rick Ripma (28:35):
yeah. Well, I'm gonna I'm going to kind of
switch subjects here and ask thequestion of the week. You might
have heard it if Okay, questionof the week. It's always okay.
All right. Well, it's a it's ait's the hardest question we're
gonna ask. So what? What wasyour first car? Oh,
Unknown (28:53):
1977 Plymouth, Laurie.
Rick Ripma (28:56):
Okay. Did you love it? Yeah. Well,
Unknown (28:59):
I love that it could get me from point A to point B.
I could see the road from insidethe car. And it smelled like
fumes, but it was, like, old youknow, 1977 Plymouth Laurie. So
and everyone's singing that songin their head. Now that velocity
song, but that was a star thatwas really proud of it. It cost
$250 And I was able to buy it bymyself. Oh,
Rick Ripma (29:22):
yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, so what's been
your favorite car that you'veever owned? Well, it
Unknown (29:27):
would have to be a fully loaded Cadillac SRX that I
got as a gift from my previoussales job. Oh,
Rick Ripma (29:33):
really? Awesome.
Yeah, you still have that?
Unknown (29:38):
My what's what's funny story. You know, I was a sales
director with Mary Kay foryears. And while I was in Mary
Kay building my little empire,my little cosmetic empire. I
earned seven pink Cadillacs andMary Kay. Wow. And I know people
are always like, wow, that'sreally impressive. And then the
second question is, what do youdo with seven pink cars? And my
teenage boys drove them to highschool and my A 18 year old is
(30:01):
driving one right now if you goto the Carmel High school
parking lot, you'll see a pinkCadillac in the driveway and he
drives it. So, hey, ironically,I don't drive a pink car
anymore. But my, my husbanddrove one to work for years and
my kids are going to school.
Yeah, well,
Rick Ripma (30:18):
Cadillacs a Cadillac, right? Yeah. Who's
gonna complain? So how can I?
How can a real estate a realtoralign their life in their work
purpose? How do they how canthey align that? Because they
have a lot of trouble with that?
Oh, yeah. I mean, like work lifebalance, yes. Work like life,
line and everything. Yeah, it's
Unknown (30:40):
just an ongoing because things change all the time,
seasons change. I know, when Iwas in real estate, I had kids
in high school, middle schooland grade school. And so this is
where a coach can really helpyou. And I had a coach who was
constantly helping me, becauseonce you get it all lined up,
then it shifts again, and yougot to do it again. So I think
that's one thing is maintainingan air of flexibility, always
(31:02):
knowing your values and yourpriorities. You know, so, you
know, when I was in Mary Kay,there, this is one of the things
they do so well, is they teachus to honor our priorities, you
know, your family's moreimportant in your business,
every time every single time.
And I think it's just what inwhatever season, you're having a
schedule, having a routine thatworks for you that serves your
(31:22):
family. I think as a anyentrepreneur, taking
ridiculously good care ofyourself, you've got to stay
healthy. And if you're doingthat, a lot of the other things
will fall into place.
Rick Ripma (31:37):
Yeah, I've had some of them tell me that. Okay, so
they're, they've had a dinnerwith friends plan for three
weeks. They're with theirspouse, they're leaving the
house, a phone call comes in.
And it's somebody who wants tosee a million dollar house. And
they want to see it right now.
(31:58):
They're like, yeah, how do I notdo that?
Unknown (32:01):
Well, I would first examine how often does that
really happen? So get the facts,you know, not the feeling but
get the best? How often is thathappening? And if it really is a
pump, because we don't need toborrow tomorrow's problems, you
know, we can only solve today'sproblems with today's resources.
So if we have that problemtoday, we've got to figure out
(32:21):
how to handle that. And that's aconversation with the family
isn't in alignment with ourpriorities for me to excuse
myself and go do that for thisseason of my life? Not forever,
because but just for thisseason, is that going to be
okay? And I think that makes ita lot easier, Rick, is to say,
you know, for the next threemonths, I'm going to hit this
big goal. And I'm going to sayyes and go whenever and if the
family is okay with that, do it.
But if it becomes I do thatalways, that begins to devalue
(32:44):
your family and erodes trust andrelationships.
Rick Ripma (32:50):
Okay, so that makes complete sense. It's kind of
what I've been told by one agentwho's actually kind of figured
it out. He just He said, I havea plan. And I, and he said, I
set it up up front, the customerknows. And he said, If I have
to, I have teammates, who canwho will do it, and they'll go
take it. But he but he's beenable to do that. And it's it's
(33:14):
like he said, You got to have aplan. And if you work it out,
because I would be what yousaid, I work it out with my
family first. So they understandby now it's just my wife and I
so it's really easy. And youknow, so it just makes it
easier. I just think that's athat's a big deal for real
estate agent. The next questionI have is, I have these written
(33:35):
down. So I'm looking off to makesure I asked me correctly. So we
all have limiting beliefs. Yeah,right. So how do we overcome
them? How do we get past ourlimiting beliefs? Really, first,
we have to understand them,right? We have to know they're
there. And then how do weovercome them?
Unknown (33:53):
Yeah, we really have to recognize what they are. And
this is almost impossible to doby yourself. And it's one of the
things that a coach can help youwith. And that's why coaching is
so effective. And people getresults so quickly. Because you
have someone who cares about youwho's objective, who says, is
that true? You know, andchallenges your limiting
beliefs. And I do this all thetime. And so there's two things
(34:15):
that are true about belief. Thefirst thing is that behavior
always follows belief. Sowhatever it is, you're
believing, if you believe I'mtoo old, I'm too young, I don't
know, whatever your behaviorwill, will, will play that out.
The second thing that's trueabout beliefs is that we choose
them. So we do have the powerbecause the brain is the tool of
the mind, we can stop andchallenge a belief. And I
(34:38):
actually have a five stepprocess, that that helps people
actually walk through a belief Iidentify it for them. And then
we asked I asked them these fivequestions, and by the end of the
five questions there ready tolet that believe go and choose
another one. And the results arealways dramatic and just
amazing. So I think it'srecognizing that we all have
limiting beliefs and that andthat they feel true So that's
(35:00):
the thing is you have to knowthat your limiting beliefs feel
true to you, because you've beenthinking them for a long time.
And that's how our brain works.
It developed to ruts andpatterns. So you have to have
someone who's going to help youdisrupt that belief, and help
you choose a new one.
Rick Ripma (35:16):
And you actually have a process. It's interesting
that you have a process and itworks so quickly, because most
people really, this is one thatyou suffer with for years. Yeah,
it
Unknown (35:29):
really is. It's one appointment in my office,
because I'm positive psychologyand neuroscience has come so
far. And so we understandthings. There's some there's a
great book out called Managingthought by Mary Lorre, she was
the first person that thatshared that with me, it's like,
oh, you can choose your beliefsand get a different result.
Almost instantly, you can begoing this direction and choose
(35:50):
a new belief and start goingthis direction. You know, one
example is one time I wasworking with a woman, and she
wanted to hit a goal in hersales career. Excuse me, and,
um, tell me more about this. Whyis important? And she said, um,
she was disgusted with herself.
She was like, oh, I should havedone it by now. And that's an
(36:11):
example of a limiting belief isI should have done it by now.
And it seems innocuous andharmless, but it's not. Because
that's was the dialogue in ourhead is I should have done this
by now. And then I'm a failure,I couldn't do it. And it sets
her up for failure in thepresent, because she didn't
accomplish it in the past. Andso we did the five step
questions, which that veryquickly the questions are, is it
(36:33):
true? Where they always go? Yes,because it feels true. And the
second question, is itabsolutely true? Or is it always
true? Do you know without ashadow of a doubt that you
should have done it by now? Andwell, maybe it's not always
true? Or maybe it's notabsolutely true? And then I will
ask them? What is the how do youthink actor feel when you choose
(36:54):
to believe this thought that youshould have done it by now. And
here it comes, I feel like afailure. I feel like a loser. I
feel like I'm behind. I feellike I'm not good enough? Well,
that's the fruit of thatthought. And we're beginning to
see that. Whether it's true ornot, it's not helpful. And we
start to loosen its grip. Andthen I'll ask what, how would
(37:15):
you feel if you could no longerphysically think that thought
anymore? If I, if I could pullthat thought out of your mind,
and you didn't have access to itanymore? How would you feel? And
usually, it's like, I'd feelrelieved, I would feel hopeful,
I would feel like I have achance that I could do this. And
then I'll ask them what's moretrue than I should have done
this by now. And this is, thisis based on The Work of Byron
(37:36):
Katie, who she wrote a bookcalled, loving what is, and it's
just, it really helps you kindof choose new thoughts. And so
for in this case, I askedbecause we have to replace the
thought we can't, if we justeliminate a thought, something
else will fill that gap in ourbrain because it's a neural
(37:58):
pathway. And literally, as youcould take a picture of your
boss and see him. And so in thiscase, she chose a new thought is
what's more true than I shouldhave done it by now. And she
thought, and then she looked atme and her eyes just lit up. And
she said, my time is now. And soshe started choosing to repeat
that mantra to herself, insteadof the limiting belief, or the
self defeating and limitingbeliefs are usually a way to
(38:19):
protect us to protect our ego.
Because if we keep saying thatabout ourselves, it just keeps
us from trying. And it keeps usfrom feeling like we're failing.
Yeah,
Rick Ripma (38:29):
there's a guy I follow a member of his but he
says, your thoughts? Thoughtsbecome things. So choose the
good ones or something likethat, you know, that's
absolutely true. That our, ourthoughts become really our
thoughts, our why, where we arewhere we are today, right? Yeah.
(38:53):
Yeah. You know,
Unknown (38:55):
even to get back to your question about real estate
agents. So there, there's threelevels of motivation that I see
in people. And we have thelowest level of motivation is
desperation. And that's whenwe're at a client comes into my
office, and I hear them sayingthings like, I have to, I need
to, it's almost like they've gota gun to their head in there. If
I don't do this, it's really badthings are gonna happen. And so
(39:18):
that's motivation bydesperation. And it's actually
really effective because itengages our fight or flight
response. But we weren'tdesigned to live in flight or
fight fight, you know, for therest of our work consistently.
And so what happens is we getburnout if we continually use
desperation, as our form ofmotivation. And also it makes
(39:39):
the people around us reallytired. We were not invited to
parties anymore, because that'sno fun to be on someone who's
that stressed out all the time.
And then the middle form ofmotivation that I see is
rationalization and that's whenI should and that's when we're a
little bit too married toconventional wisdom and what
other people are doing becausewhen I hear Should well I should
(39:59):
work out, I should do this, Ishould do that. What I hear is
someone who's not takingresponsibility for themselves
and for what they believe inwhat they think is best for
them. They're still relying onother people and best practices
and kindness and things likethat. So I hear a lot of
shoulds. And that'srationalization. And I think we
all go through a period where wegot to explore that. But the
highest form and the best formof motivation is inspiration.
(40:21):
And that's when we can do whatwe really want to do. And that's
when in your case of the realestate agent who's sitting at
dinner, they have a compellingvision for their life, that
doesn't just include their salesgoal, but includes their
relationship with their family,the way they handle themselves
in situations like that. Andthey can do what they want to do
(40:42):
in that situation, without fearof loss, or something bad
happening. So
Rick Ripma (40:51):
yeah, I think it's, I think it's fascinating.
Because you, you, you obviouslyreally understand the art, our
psychological, how we work. Andso that's really helpful for
people. So if somebody, what ifsomebody thought, but I'd really
like to work with you, as acoach, what's the best way for
(41:12):
them to get a hold of you? Yeah,
Unknown (41:14):
the first thing I would recommend is for them to read
the book. It is it's on Audible,it's on Spotify, and you can get
a paperback, it's on Amazon,because the book is, so it's 20
years of coaching, summarized,and it's a power packed little
book. And most people tell me,they read it in one weekend,
because they it really kind ofwalks you through all these
(41:36):
issues. What is my purpose? Howcan I start to move step fuller
into my purpose? How do I createa compelling vision for my life
in my business that aligns andfeels good to me? How do I
increase my agency, which is mysense of really authority, and
how I show up and how I makedecisions so so all of those, I
really have made a concise casefor all of those different ideas
(41:59):
in the book. So get the book, ifyou liked the book, you're gonna
like working with me, if youdon't like the book, you
probably want to move on todifferent clubs. And then I have
a great opportunity right now, agroup that I call powerful
partners. And I wrote about thisin the book too, because my core
value is connection. And I havebeen able to connect people
together for just amazingpurposes, and wonderful things
(42:20):
are happening in the world. Andso I have a group coaching
program right now calledpowerful partners. It's a one
year program, where you getindividual one on one coaching
sessions with me, you get thebenefit of amazing group of
people for a monthlyaccountability call. And then I
host a quarterly event here intown called forces at work live.
(42:40):
And the next one is going toanyone can come to forces at
work live, it's a lunch, it's aworkshop. And, um, the next one
is on July 18, then I alreadyhave registration open for that
on my website. So okay, greatplace to network and to expand
your personal and professionalnetwork. Okay,
Rick Ripma (42:57):
perfect. So so the the powerful partners that group
coaching, which is I've nevergotten group coaching, I've
always, I've always doneindividual, but I put off
coaching forever. It's actuallymy youngest son, he went to IU
also, all my all my boys went toIU. And he was in a business
fraternity, and they usementors. And he's, he's done.
(43:23):
He's 31, he's done phenomenallywell. And because he always has
mentors, he always has a coach.
It's helped him immensely. So Isaw the value of it. I was one
who I was like, Well, I'm notgonna listen to him, so I'm not
going to do it.
Unknown (43:38):
Well, that's the thing, because there's a difference
between a consultant and acoach. You know, I'm coaching
Rick, coaching is actually thenumber one preferred method of
leadership development in thecountry right now. But people
know that and everybody wants acoach now, but a lot of people
can't articulate actually thedifference between coaching
teaching, training, mentoring,and or a pit of personal
(44:00):
improvement plans. So a goodcoach doesn't tell you what to
do. A good coach helps you makebetter decisions about what to
do. So yeah,
Rick Ripma (44:09):
yeah, yeah, that's what I found. I was that if I
had known I would have startedmuch sooner and been a lot
better off I think, yeah, but Iread what Bob golf, G O FF golf.
Yeah, who's a New York Timesbestselling author, because
you're talking about the bookand I think this is important.
I'm not the greatest. I'm agreat reader, but I'm not great
reading it out loud. They usedto make fun of me in school, so
(44:31):
I still have that limitingbelief. Okay,
Unknown (44:35):
now, now is your time.
Rick Ripma (44:38):
For forces that work is a love letter for anyone who
feels stuck pigeon holed, ormisaligned and their life or
career. If you're looking fortheory, you won't find it here.
What you'll find is deep empathyand a framework for clarity
based on missing hard won lifelessons. You'll be gently guided
by the skills and expertise orexperience of a gifted kid He
(45:00):
meets you where you are andhelps you reflect and take
action to realign your life witha purpose. This he has already
helped hundreds of people findtheir courage and conviction to
step into their their highestaspirations. I know this book
will help her reach many more.
Because just like me, she is inlove with your potential. And
together, all of us are forcesat work. And that's Bob Geldof.
(45:22):
I thought that was I mean, thatjust says a lot. Obviously, he's
a great writer, so he knows howto communicate but that and that
wasn't the only there was therewas another one. But I I picked
that one. And I guess I got ridof the I guess I got rid of the
No, here it is. And this is byand this is why I wasn't gonna
do this because I can'tpronounce his last name Steven.
(45:44):
Oh, talk hasay. Steven.
Fantastic. Yeah. So yeah, whowho is an award winning
producers, songwriter andeducator. And he said, here's
the truth. When Missy walks intothe room, the impossible
suddenly feels possible problemsbecome opportunities and far
fetched dreams become tangible.
She will move heaven and earthto help you believe in yourself.
(46:05):
Imagine three of those thingssay at all, if somebody has a
patient,
Unknown (46:11):
even Steven is the very first story in the book chapter
one, it might each other. Buthe's the very first story that I
share in the book, because whenI met Steve, and he was very
misaligned with his work, and hehad a ton of limiting beliefs.
And as we he came into myoffice, and we worked together
for six months, and he is livinghis dream right now. And he's
impacting so many people likehe's writing. He's writing music
(46:35):
for sitcoms, he's T he's workingwith many prolific artists. And
and he's also he's become aprofessor. So one of the things
that came out as we werecoaching is and this is my
superpower. My gift, too is Isee potential in people. And I
am able to just kind of move allthings aside and say, Wait, what
about this because there wasthis one piece of his story,
(46:57):
that puzzle piece that didn'tfit. And it was this love for
education. And so I didn't writethis part in the book. But one
of the things that he tried outduring our coaching time when he
became an elementary schoolteacher, and I'm like, you were
gonna hate that because becauseof the institutional and and all
that he did kind of end uphating it. But it was part of
the process where he, because hewanted to be an educator on some
(47:21):
level, and it was definitely apart of his DNA, but he hadn't
found a way to express it yet.
And so what ended up happeningis he ended up getting an
honorary doctorate from StanfordUniversity, so that they could
bring him on to teach thisincredible court because they
wanted someone with real lifeproducing experience, to teach
their students and to make itrelevant and current, which
(47:41):
education really needs rightnow. Yeah, you have a lot of
competition coming. Um, you canlearn almost anything on the
internet. And Steven has steppedinto this space so beautifully,
where he's creating his ownmusic. He's helping other
artists with their recordings.
And now he's also teachingstudents, and he's doing all
three of those thingssimultaneously. And they are
(48:03):
working together symbiotically,and it's just really amazing. So
that's one of my favoriterecommendations that I've ever
gotten. Because it makes me feellike my work matters. And it's
really helping people. Well,
Rick Ripma (48:16):
we're running out of time. So is there any last words
of wisdom you'd like to sharewith with the audience,
Unknown (48:21):
you know, just really gratitude read just, I'm so
thankful for the opportunity tohave known you and worked with
you and just delighted that youasked me to be on even though
I'm not currently a real estateagent anymore. I certainly love
working with agents and have atremendous amount of respect for
the work that you do as amortgage advisor, and that they
(48:45):
do and helping people make oneof the biggest decisions of
their life. And I'll be in touchas soon as the rates drop, so we
can refinance my house and I canredo my kitchen. Yeah,
Rick Ripma (48:55):
you and everybody else. I can't wait. You know,
it's,
Unknown (48:58):
it's as if people call like Missy, and
Rick Ripma (49:02):
we wish they'd come down, you know, they just
haven't yet. So, one more time.
The best way to get a hold ofyou. Go
Unknown (49:10):
to my website, because you're going to learn about if
you want to come to a live eventin Indy, check out events forces
that work live, I'd love to seeyou there. If you want to learn
about group coaching, it'scalled powerful partners. And
obviously reading the book, youcan get that on Amazon, but you
can actually access all of thatat Missy shropshire.com.
Rick Ripma (49:30):
Perfect. Well, I appreciate it. Missy. Thanks so
much for joining me today. It'syou've been awesome.
Unknown (49:35):
Thank you. Well, it's been my pleasure. And I really
enjoyed the time. Oh, perfect.
We'll have a lot of peopletoday.
Rick Ripma (49:42):
Yeah, I hope so. And if anybody wants to get a hold
of me, you can go to hardworking mortgage guy.com That's
hardworking mortgage guy.comThanks for joining us have a
great day went to MLS NUMBER33041 MLS NUMBER SIX which is
Nike. housing opportunity somerestrictions apply
Have you ever considered hiring a coach? Well
(00:03):
today you can find out why youshould with Missy Shopshire.
Missy is a coach. She's a bestselling author of the book
forces at work. It helps youfind your passion. She's a
phenomenal person. I've knownher for quite some time and I
think you'll really enjoy theshow. So privileged, please
listen. And please buy our bookforces at work. Thanks so much.
(00:23):
Enjoy the show. Welcome toIndia's real estate gurus your
ultimate guide to the dynamicworld of real estate in Indiana
and I'm recruitment your hardworking mortgage guy and I've
been in real estate andmortgages for over 24 years.
Unknown (00:38):
And I'm Ian Arnold, a loan officer on Rick's hard
working mortgage team and we areboth with advisors Mortgage
Group together will empower youwith expert advice market trends
is successful stories from Gururealtors and local experts.
Whether you're a homeowner,investor or pro, join us as we
navigate the thriving indie realestate market. Now get ready to
(00:59):
unlock the doors of success. Oneepisode at a time. Well, welcome
everybody. We really appreciateyou all being here today. We
have Mrs. Shop Shire. Missy,welcome. Thanks so much for
joining me today.
Thank you for having me.
Rick Ripma (01:13):
You're You're welcome. And you're not a real
estate agent. You're actuallyyou do a lot of things other
than being a best sellingauthor, right? You wrote the
book forces at work. What else?
How else do you spend your time?
Unknown (01:25):
Well, I'm a mom and a wife. I've been married for
almost 30 years. So I was 30/30wedding anniversary in
September. And I have threechildren. My youngest is 18. And
as a senior is in high school,so he's graduating in a few
weeks. So that's kind of openingup a whole new stage of life.
(01:45):
And I'm also a grandma, so Wow,
Rick Ripma (01:48):
congratulations.
Yeah, hi. Bye. It's It'sinteresting when it when the
kids move out, because my myyoungest is now 31. And, and so
obviously he moved out yearsago, but it took a little while
for us. Now you'll probably bebetter prepared for this. But he
moves out. And then about sixmonths after he he's in school,
(02:08):
I looked at my wife and I said,we got to do something this is
boring is boring, yet, becauseyour life was wrapped around all
the things, all the activitiesthat they that they did. Yeah,
Unknown (02:23):
it's interesting that I'm approaching this stage of
life, because I'm also movinginto this stage with my
coaching. I've had severalpeople, you know, just like
highly ultra successful peoplewho are now wanting to retire.
And they figured out thefinancial piece of it, but the
emotional and kind of mentalpiece of it. They're looking for
help with that, like how do Imove into the next stage of my
(02:44):
life with a sense of purpose andfulfillment? When I'm so used to
being this or doing this? Soit's actually kind of fun that
that's opening up in my spaceright now is to help people with
that.
Rick Ripma (02:54):
Yeah, that's why I'm never retiring. Me either.
Unknown (02:58):
I see that all the time. Like, and I think and we
might talk about this today toRick is that, you know, when you
are I really like to blur thelines between my personal and
professional life. And I thinkwhen we're operating from a
sense of alignment, and purpose,work doesn't always feel like
work, it feels fun, and it feelsfulfilling. So you know, and
(03:18):
that's really what the book isall about to you know, it's how
to be a force at work whereveryou are in your personal life
and in your professional life.
Rick Ripma (03:25):
Well, I am a huge believer in coaching. And I will
tell you, I've had 170 180 Realestate agents on top agents in
the city and almost to a person.
They believe in coaching, theymay you they have somebody
there, I think it helps to havesomebody you're paying to coach
(03:46):
you and hold you accountable.
But I also think there'sdifferent stages for coaching. I
was thinking about this theother other day, you kind of you
just mentioned that it's justkind of funny, because I was
thinking about I thought, youknow, because I know and you are
coming on. So let's take this.
So what is somebody who'sthey've got tons of experience
(04:09):
in real estate. They they'redoing well. Why? Why do they
need a coach? How can you helpthat type of person?
Unknown (04:20):
Yeah, well, I think it's because we're always all
growing. And you know, I like touse the the example of Peyton
Manning. You know, PeytonManning never got to the point
where he was like, you know, Idon't think I need a coach
anymore. It's like people whowant to be excellent and who
really want to reach their fullpotential. That's who utilizes a
coach. And I think people havemisconceptions about what
(04:41):
coaching is, you it's really notlike the sports analogy is not
the perfect analogy, because inthe sports analogy, a coach is
drying up the plays and tellingyou what to do. And in business
coaching or in life coaching, areally good coach is creating
space because we have a lot ofin eternal wisdom and a lot of
(05:03):
ideas and creativity that wedon't tap into on a day to day
basis. So a good coach is goingto create space for people high
achievers, to come in and talkthrough their ideas to sort
things out. And also there'sthat accountability piece. But
But I think my role as a coachis to create space, and then
also to be the keeper of thestory. And to maintain the
(05:25):
bigger picture. So I can remindpeople, hey, this was the vision
you shared with me when we firststarted, is that still what
we're working towards? And so Ithink that's what people find
most helpful is just to reallyhave kind of a professional
partner, who is not that you'renot married to that is
(05:45):
objective, and is just holdingthat space and helping you
really reach your potential.
Rick Ripma (05:50):
Yeah, I know, for me with my coach, I know that he'll
hold me accountable. Which is,which is, it's not that they
actually have to, becauseknowing you got to, you know,
talk to them, you're gonna youkind of do you know, I don't
really want to do this, but I'mgoing to do it because they told
me I have to right. And so youdo that. But it was not what I
(06:14):
thought it took me a long timeto do a coach, because I
remember Coach, and I'm not Iwas not really much into sports,
but I did play sports in school,but I was never any good. And
so, so I remember coaches, thatpretty much what they did is
they yelled at you. And a andthey told you everything you
were doing wrong. And whatreally it is, is you're an
(06:39):
uplift, you uplift people. YouYeah. And you help us remember?
Because even you know, I've donethis a long time. I've been in
sales my entire life. So if you,right, give me this? Oh, yeah,
yeah. And
Unknown (06:52):
I was in real estate for a short time, too. So I
understand that kind of thebackground and the struggle.
Still. Yeah.
Rick Ripma (06:59):
But we forget, we forget certain things. That's
what I find. I've, I, I used towhen I sold new homes. I used to
tape myself. And when I was in awhether I was doing well or
doing poorly, but what I wasdoing poorly. I could listen to
those tapes. And I could go backand listen to the tapes on
people that I when I was doingwell. And it was amazing. You
(07:21):
go. I'm not saying that anymore.
Ah, yeah. So you
Unknown (07:25):
were gathering your own feedback? Yes. That's another
thing that coach does issometimes when I just repeat
back to people what they say tome, it sounds different coming
back. And we use this analogyall the time that it's hard to
read the label from inside thejar. And so part of what I do is
I help people see themselves,how others see them. And what's
(07:46):
really interesting, Rick, isthat people tend to, we're hard
on ourselves. And we tend tofocus on where we need to
improve and what we need to dobetter. And as a coach, I can
help people kind of shift intoutilizing their strengths more
in recognizing their strengthsmore. A lot of times people
don't even realize what theirtrue strengths are, until they
(08:07):
kind of get into that coachingspace. And then life and work
just gets a whole lot easier.
Rick Ripma (08:12):
Yeah, it makes a big difference when you get all
allied. And that's, that's, Ithink a big thing of what you do
is actually one of my questions.
So before we get into that one,let's go to we're talking, you
know, we talked about the thehigh achieving very successful
people. But what about a newreal estate agent? I believe
(08:32):
they need coaching, and even themiddle the middle ground, you
know, there's coaching helps allof that areas. So how does help,
as opposed to somebody who's gotall the experience? How can you
help somebody who's new?
Unknown (08:48):
Yeah, I mean, I think it would be the same advice I
would give in almost anyindustry is that you've got to
be educated, you've got to getthe skills, you've got to get
learn best practices,conventional wisdom, what has
worked for others. And I knowwhen I was coming up in my sales
career, I had a bench ofmentors. And these were mentors
that I never even met, becausethey'd written books. I'd seen
(09:11):
them speak. So I think getmentors, but in your search for
mentors, make sure that youdon't become trying to become
someone else. You have to putthat through the filter of who
you are, and show upauthentically. I like to gather
all the resources, gather a lot,learn from the best learn from
people who are doing great, andthen have some time to process
(09:32):
and think through how can Iemulate that in a way that's
authentic and true to who I am?
Yeah,
Rick Ripma (09:39):
I think, yeah, I hadn't thought of that. But
that's really critical becauseyou can you're never going to be
what you're capable of beingwhen you're trying to be
somebody else. Yeah,
Unknown (09:53):
so true. And you know, I believe this is what drives my
business and all of my work isthat I believe Each one of us
has a unique and importantpurpose to Find and fulfill. And
I love drawing that out inpeople in whether it's in real
estate or in the mortgagebusiness or whatever feel we're
we're serving the we have animpact on people, not just in
(10:17):
what we do, but in how we do it,and and who we are and how we
show up as we do that work. Andyou Rick, it's funny that I
don't stay in touch with all theservice providers that I've
worked with over the years. Butyou and I have known each other
a long time we have a lot oftime, I think that you first you
were someone referred you to me.
And you helped us with arefinance. I mean, me circa
(10:39):
2000 678 way back, then, Iremember that.
Rick Ripma (10:45):
I have records of it.
Unknown (10:48):
I remembered you because of you just it was just
very clear to me that you werereally good at what you did,
that you enjoyed helping usthrough that process. You had
systems in place that made iteasy. So that's what I'm talking
about alignment, you were sowell aligned. And it's easy to
work with someone like that. Andso that's probably one of the
reasons that we've seen intouch. Because I always
(11:09):
appreciate all about Yeah,
Rick Ripma (11:11):
well, I appreciate that. You know, it's funny,
because I, I think that that'salways the case, if you if if
you process it, you have yourprocess as you work at it, you
make it as smooth as possible.
But I'm still working onpurpose. I was. I have a book,
I'm in the middle of calledpurpose purpose.
Unknown (11:30):
You're gonna say it was called forces at work? You
Rick Ripma (11:33):
know, it, I'm going to read it I have, I didn't have
a chance I read. I love to readI read a tremendous amount. I
get up really early in themorning. Like, today, I got up
at 325. A. And and I read writeand then I have a whole process
(11:53):
of what I do I exercise I do. Ido do all that I do a lot trying
to, you know, get my geteverything straight, because I
think that's important. Yeah.
And but but I hadn't reallythought of purpose. Until I
started reading this book. Andquite honestly, the reason I'm
reading the book is they sent itto me off of something I did,
and they sent it to me and Ijust came and I thought, Oh,
(12:16):
I'll read it. Right. It was inmy stack, I finally got to it.
So and it's really interesting.
It takes forever, becauseprobably like your book, you
don't find it by just reading abook. Yeah,
Unknown (12:30):
I will say that it is it for like we weren't taught
this in school, how to find yourpurpose, you know, and I would
love to get forces that weregoing to the schools just to
start to help people think aboutthis. Because, you know, we're
expected to make decisions forour life at a very early age.
You know, before we're oldenough to order a beer, we're
supposed to know what we want todo with our lives. So but I
think that, you know, nowcoaching has come so far right?
(12:52):
That really a good coach canhelp you get to your purpose in
a couple of hours. And it'salways evolving, and there's
layers, but the essence of whoyou are and how you want to show
up and what you want tocontribute to the world. We can
get you to that in just a couplehours. And I know you're gonna
ask me what my superpower is.
And that's part of it. That isone component of your purpose is
(13:12):
what your superpower is. Yeah,
Rick Ripma (13:16):
it's one of my favorite questions. So let's
just, let's just do that. Now.
What is your superpower? Whatwould you say your superpower
superpowers are?
Unknown (13:24):
I would say it's two words, and it's connect and
compound. And so the connectionis what I value, that's one of
my core values is I kind ofbelieve that we could solve all
the world's problems if we justconnected the right people with
each other. And so I've beendoing that since I was a little
kid, you know, introducingpeople and connecting people.
And I would do that all day longfor free if I could, and I feel
(13:47):
like it makes the world a betterplace. And then the compel piece
of that is, is my greatest giftor my greatest strength is that
I'm persuasive. And I alwayshave been, it's a gift that I
was given. That's why I was goodat sales are good at you know,
whatever. And so now, you know,the third part of purpose. So
the first part is your greateststrength, your closest held core
(14:09):
value. The third part ofpurpose, a good purpose
statement is your mission. Andthat really is just the
application of your greateststrength and your core value
towards a specific outcome. Sofor example, I wrote forces at
work forces at work is connectand compile, it's just in book
form. And it's written to helpyou know professionals who are
(14:33):
feeling stuck or misaligned intheir life or career. And so
that's my mission is to helpthem you know, get unstuck.
Rick Ripma (14:41):
It's really interesting because Connect.
Again, it's one of the thingsthat many of the top agents tell
me is extremely important as areal estate agent is as being
that person who can connect. Soyou teach me People How to
connect up. Is there any anylittle tidbits? Or, you know, I
(15:06):
know you can't tell useverything?
Unknown (15:07):
Oh, well, I mean, one basic thing is for anybody who's
an entrepreneur, is to beauthentic to be yourself. You
know, I think there's a lot tobe said about conventional
wisdom about how to meet people,or how to network and all of
that. But if it's not authentic,and it doesn't resonate with
you, that's going to comeacross. So you've got to find
ways in there are people who aregreat at sales, who are not
(15:30):
extroverts, you know, sales isabout listening, and about being
able to position yourself as aguide. And we know that if you
want to position yourself as aguide, I always encourage my
clients to focus on two things.
You need empathy and authority,you need to be able to say, Hey,
I understand your situation. Iknow what it feels like to be in
your shoes. And I know what todo about it. And so I think in
(15:53):
connection, be authentic. Butalso just keep yourself busy
doing things that you love, likeyou said, you know, I'm a
reader, too. I'm at the libraryall the time. I meet people at
the library. I love to exercise,I meet people at the gym, I love
to travel, I meet people Itravel, every time I go on a
trip, I get a new client. Sofunny, because I'll just be
(16:14):
talking with someone on theplane or at the hotel. And
that's just that's an enjoyableway of getting out in the world.
And you'll tend to find peoplewho are who are like you or who
understand you, because they'redoing those things that they
love to be doing to.
Rick Ripma (16:31):
Yep, so if somebody wants to connect with you, what
is the best way to get a hold ofyou? The best way
Unknown (16:37):
it's going to be go to my website. And it's just Missy
shropshire.com. You can alsoGoogle forces@work.com. And I
would encourage, if you want toget connected, just fill out the
connect with me form. I don'tsend out a lot of email. But
when I do have an event here intown, or if I'm doing a class or
something, that's where I'llannounce that. It's
Rick Ripma (16:59):
it's mi SS yshopshire.com. Yeah, just the
Unknown (17:09):
way it sounds. People always try to put a C or extra
letters in there, but it's justshot cheer.
Rick Ripma (17:13):
Yeah, well, I can misspell my own name. Okay, I
can misspell anything. No. Imean, it's one of my
superpowers. Yeah. So. So canyou just kind of give us a
little more direction on compel?
What does that mean? How do wego about doing that?
Unknown (17:37):
Yeah, well, compel is that is, to me, it's it wasn't
the C word that stood forpersuasion. You know, I was like
trying to make this catchylittle purpose statement. And
when I landed on that it reallyresonated with me is connecting
compound. And so I want to becompelling. You know, I want to
be compelled by truth and growthand be able to expand my purpose
in the world, and I want to becompelling. So I love those two
(18:00):
words. But for me, I think earlyon in my sales career, I thought
my job was to persuade people,that they needed something or to
buy something. And now, as I'vematured, I think my job is to
compel people with their owntruth. And so when I work with
people, I help them kind of rootout the inconsistencies in their
(18:21):
life that they're really notokay with. And so instead of
having them having to do myplan, or come along with what I
think is right, I try to helpthem build their own, you know,
sense of integrity of how I wantto be and how I want to operate
in the world. Yes.
Rick Ripma (18:38):
Maybe you can tell me how mine is. Because maybe
I'm not talking about compel,because I've always worked when
I work with with somebody. Ihaven't always but I've learned
that. It's not. I don't I don'twant to make the decision for
him. Yeah, I want to educatethem. Yeah, that's what I work
out. I work at, you know, like,like, right, let's, let's take a
(19:01):
real estate agent. Right. Right.
Now there's a, there's a big,big deal with the new law coming
through, right? Yeah,everybody's a little worried
about it. So I'm puttingtogether information so that I
can educate on how as a lender,because because this is going to
be a big piece of it on how youfinance these, this commission,
right? And how, yes, so. So I'malmost done. So I could get that
(19:24):
out and educate them on exactlywhat can be done. And I do that
with my clients too, because Ithink, you know, here's your
options. Here's, you know, whyisn't FHA better than a
conventional? Well, it may befor somebody but it may not be
for another person, right? Sothey just have to understand so
they can make the right decisionfor them. Is that is that kind
(19:44):
of Compeller Am I missing?
Unknown (19:48):
Well, I think that's how you compel is through
education. That might be a wordthat reflects your purpose is,
you know, mine is connectingcompel yours might be educating
serve, you know. So you, that'show it's a perfect example of
how you are going todifferentiate yourself, you're
going to do all this research,and then kind of be hands off
(20:11):
and give people what they needin order to make the decision.
Rick Ripma (20:14):
Okay, so yeah, I just think that is compelling.
Yeah, I just tried to understandand hopefully other people who
are listening will kind of getan idea of, you know, and
understand it. Now, you we'vetalked a little bit about you've
been in sales that you were atop salesperson in a
multibillion dollar company,you're in the top 2%. Now the
Yeah, so So you have the resumein sales, and you understand
(20:38):
sales. So you understand. Howare you know what we go through?
Because I think, oh, yeah, it'sa tough, it's a tough industry,
any sales, but real estateagents have it really tough, I
think.
Unknown (20:51):
Yeah. And I think with the new law coming out, it's
definitely disconcerting. Andit's got to be unsettling for a
lot of people. But again, youknow, I always go back to Viktor
Frankl in situations like thisand put it out, you know,
probably you read this in highschool, I know I did. And it's
one of the books that has alwaysstayed with me as me in search
for meaning. And it's a storyabout how he survived in a
(21:13):
German concentration camp. And Iwent back to this again, during
COVID, anytime where I'm feelinghelpless, or like things are out
of my control. You know, ViktorFrankl says that the one freedom
that's never taken away from usis our freedom to choose a
response. And you saw duringCOVID, where people freaked out,
and they just gave into fear.
And things just got crazy. InAthens, I did that too.
(21:33):
Initially, like I was wearingmasks, I was sanitizing
everything I was seen at nightworrying about my family. And
then at one point, I realizedthis is crazy, I needed I had to
turn the TV off, and get back toa place of how choosing my
response, and choosing to becalm, and measured and careful,
but not fearful. And I think thesame is true in this
(21:57):
circumstance, too, is in everytime something like this comes
up, there are people that arejust going to throw their hands
in the air and just get allworried about it. And but there
will be people who find theopportunity. And that's what we
want to do is we want to stopand pause the power of the
pause, choose a response andlook for the opportunities that
will present themselves in anygiven situation.
Rick Ripma (22:20):
Yeah, and you know that that pause? Because in
really in anything in life, evenany reaction that you you, you
have, if you will just and I'mnot I'm not saying I'm really
great at this, I just noticed,it helps. Yeah, because you stop
and think about okay, so whatresponse do I want? And if you
(22:40):
give us response based based onwhat you think is the right
response, life will go a loteasier and better.
Unknown (22:47):
Yeah, I think I mean, I think we know this, but to
actually remember it in themoment. You know, I think that
we all make decisions from oneof two places, we're going to
make decisions from a place offear and uncertainty, or from a
place of love and confidence.
And I learned this as a parent,I think I'm a worst case
scenario, person by nature.
Like, I always imagine the worstcase scenario, what can happen.
(23:10):
And when I was with my kids, youknow, especially raising my
daughter when she was, you know,in her early 1920s, and she
wanted me out at night, youknow, nothing good happens after
midnight. And you know, I wouldjust worry about her, there's
girls being abducted inBloomington. And that's where
she was going to school. And soI, when I would have
conversations with her, what shewas sensing was the fear behind
(23:31):
it. And they never ended well.
But when I could take a pauseand shift and shift my energy
from a place of fear to a placeof love and competence, of my
belief in her because that'swhat she was looking for. She
would say, Mommy, don't trustme, you don't think I'm smart?
You don't think I That's how shewould interpret that. And when I
came from a place of Look, Iknow you are smart, and that you
are careful, and you take careof yourself. And there's crazy
(23:54):
people out there. And I want youto continue to be vigilant and
be aware of that. Whenever I wasable to shift my energy and take
responsibility for my own fear,those conversations went better.
And I think the same thing isgoing to be true in this
situation that your agents arefacing. It's we need to be calm,
we need to be measured. Andwe'll find the solutions. This
(24:16):
will be figured out. You knoweverything there is a solution
to every problem. Yeah. And itwill be figured out and you just
want to make sure you're on thecutting edge of the people that
are figuring that out. Yeah,
Rick Ripma (24:28):
I heard the number one agent in the country speak
on this topic. He was on one ofthe people I'm a membership of
and he basically said, you know,we just we just he said we have
to work together with ourlenders. And we have to educate
ourselves. And we have to haveour plan and and a buyer's agent
(24:51):
now is going to need to have apresentation to their buyers,
just like you have to yoursellers. Yeah Have you adjusted?
Unknown (25:02):
So the great news is we already know how to do that. We
just need to start implementingthat and insert our plan first.
Rick Ripma (25:09):
Yeah, that's right.
Have the plan, get it out there.
And I think the other thing is,is how do they get over being
afraid of it? Because I thinkthat you don't like, it tend to
be one who just does things. IfI'm afraid of it, I do it first,
right. But a lot of people don'tdo that.
Unknown (25:25):
Here's the thing is that which we resist persists.
And I think sometimes the fearis just, it's like the stages of
grief, you know, it's like, wewant it, we don't want this to
be true, we want to still fightit. And we want to still argue
with reality, basically, whatwe're doing is arguing with
reality, we're trying to makethings go back the way they
were, well, that's nothappening, you know, you got to
(25:46):
stop looking back, becausethat's not the direction we're
going. And it's it's basicchange management, it's just
accepting the truth and thereality of where things are, and
then choosing a belief, so. So Ithink sometimes fear is a
choice. I mean, you can chooseto work through your fear and to
face it, and choosing to believethat you're at exactly the right
(26:09):
place at exactly the right time,and you have everything you need
to meet this challenge. So thatis what I encourage my clients
to do, it's like less not comefrom a place of deficiency or
from being behind. Everybody'sin the same boat here. So let's
step onto this level playingfield and with this attitude
that I am enough, I have enough,and I can figure this out.
Rick Ripma (26:30):
Yeah, you gotta believe you can figure it out,
or you can't figure it out.
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Unknown (26:36):
And it's that connection, again, you know, I
love this about real estateagents is that there really is a
camaraderie and people I know,from when I was in, I think I
did 14 transactions, I was inreal estate for about a year and
a half. And I did really well,you know, I did one summer I did
14 transactions. And for a brandnew real estate agent, that's
not nothing. That was prettygood. But the camaraderie of
(26:59):
people that were willing to helpme even people who were on the
other side of the deal, youknow, we really strove to work
together for solutions. And Ithink that this is a, this is a
time where we just really needto lean into that and to be
supporting each other. In that,yeah,
Rick Ripma (27:15):
that's what I've noticed, that's what impresses
me about one of the things thatimpresses me about our real
estate community is that thevast majority of them will just
help out without any thought ofanything, just, they just want
to be there and help out. Andthat's, that says a lot about
the quality of people that areour real estate agents. And they
(27:35):
have a bad name name out therein the end, you know, out there
outside of the industry, it'scompletely unfair. It
Unknown (27:42):
is to you know, like I've seen some of the I'm not
well versed in the in the lawand all the nuances of what's
going on. But I did readsomething, I think there was a
New York Times article where itwas like, oh, agents are driving
people because of theCommission's, I never once
looked at what the commissionwas going to be on a sale when I
was in real estate. And, and Idon't think that drove any of my
colleagues at all, you know, weshowed up to serve and to help
(28:04):
and to educate and help peoplewith one of the most important
decisions of their life. And Idon't know any agents, I think
those types of people, if theywere doing that, they get
eliminated out of the industry.
You know, just because that'swhere they are, no one's gonna
want to work with someone likethat. That would come so I did I
disagreed with that article somuch, and I did not find that to
(28:26):
be true of the industry at all.
So as that's the dialogue that'sbeing out out there right now,
Rick Ripma (28:35):
yeah. Well, I'm gonna I'm going to kind of
switch subjects here and ask thequestion of the week. You might
have heard it if Okay, questionof the week. It's always okay.
All right. Well, it's a it's ait's the hardest question we're
gonna ask. So what? What wasyour first car? Oh,
Unknown (28:53):
1977 Plymouth, Laurie.
Rick Ripma (28:56):
Okay. Did you love it? Yeah. Well,
Unknown (28:59):
I love that it could get me from point A to point B.
I could see the road from insidethe car. And it smelled like
fumes, but it was, like, old youknow, 1977 Plymouth Laurie. So
and everyone's singing that songin their head. Now that velocity
song, but that was a star thatwas really proud of it. It cost
$250 And I was able to buy it bymyself. Oh,
Rick Ripma (29:22):
yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, so what's been
your favorite car that you'veever owned? Well, it
Unknown (29:27):
would have to be a fully loaded Cadillac SRX that I
got as a gift from my previoussales job. Oh,
Rick Ripma (29:33):
really? Awesome.
Yeah, you still have that?
Unknown (29:38):
My what's what's funny story. You know, I was a sales
director with Mary Kay foryears. And while I was in Mary
Kay building my little empire,my little cosmetic empire. I
earned seven pink Cadillacs andMary Kay. Wow. And I know people
are always like, wow, that'sreally impressive. And then the
second question is, what do youdo with seven pink cars? And my
teenage boys drove them to highschool and my A 18 year old is
(30:01):
driving one right now if you goto the Carmel High school
parking lot, you'll see a pinkCadillac in the driveway and he
drives it. So, hey, ironically,I don't drive a pink car
anymore. But my, my husbanddrove one to work for years and
my kids are going to school.
Yeah, well,
Rick Ripma (30:18):
Cadillacs a Cadillac, right? Yeah. Who's
gonna complain? So how can I?
How can a real estate a realtoralign their life in their work
purpose? How do they how canthey align that? Because they
have a lot of trouble with that?
Oh, yeah. I mean, like work lifebalance, yes. Work like life,
line and everything. Yeah, it's
Unknown (30:40):
just an ongoing because things change all the time,
seasons change. I know, when Iwas in real estate, I had kids
in high school, middle schooland grade school. And so this is
where a coach can really helpyou. And I had a coach who was
constantly helping me, becauseonce you get it all lined up,
then it shifts again, and yougot to do it again. So I think
that's one thing is maintainingan air of flexibility, always
(31:02):
knowing your values and yourpriorities. You know, so, you
know, when I was in Mary Kay,there, this is one of the things
they do so well, is they teachus to honor our priorities, you
know, your family's moreimportant in your business,
every time every single time.
And I think it's just what inwhatever season, you're having a
schedule, having a routine thatworks for you that serves your
(31:22):
family. I think as a anyentrepreneur, taking
ridiculously good care ofyourself, you've got to stay
healthy. And if you're doingthat, a lot of the other things
will fall into place.
Rick Ripma (31:37):
Yeah, I've had some of them tell me that. Okay, so
they're, they've had a dinnerwith friends plan for three
weeks. They're with theirspouse, they're leaving the
house, a phone call comes in.
And it's somebody who wants tosee a million dollar house. And
they want to see it right now.
(31:58):
They're like, yeah, how do I notdo that?
Unknown (32:01):
Well, I would first examine how often does that
really happen? So get the facts,you know, not the feeling but
get the best? How often is thathappening? And if it really is a
pump, because we don't need toborrow tomorrow's problems, you
know, we can only solve today'sproblems with today's resources.
So if we have that problemtoday, we've got to figure out
(32:21):
how to handle that. And that's aconversation with the family
isn't in alignment with ourpriorities for me to excuse
myself and go do that for thisseason of my life? Not forever,
because but just for thisseason, is that going to be
okay? And I think that makes ita lot easier, Rick, is to say,
you know, for the next threemonths, I'm going to hit this
big goal. And I'm going to sayyes and go whenever and if the
family is okay with that, do it.
But if it becomes I do thatalways, that begins to devalue
(32:44):
your family and erodes trust andrelationships.
Rick Ripma (32:50):
Okay, so that makes complete sense. It's kind of
what I've been told by one agentwho's actually kind of figured
it out. He just He said, I havea plan. And I, and he said, I
set it up up front, the customerknows. And he said, If I have
to, I have teammates, who canwho will do it, and they'll go
take it. But he but he's beenable to do that. And it's it's
(33:14):
like he said, You got to have aplan. And if you work it out,
because I would be what yousaid, I work it out with my
family first. So they understandby now it's just my wife and I
so it's really easy. And youknow, so it just makes it
easier. I just think that's athat's a big deal for real
estate agent. The next questionI have is, I have these written
(33:35):
down. So I'm looking off to makesure I asked me correctly. So we
all have limiting beliefs. Yeah,right. So how do we overcome
them? How do we get past ourlimiting beliefs? Really, first,
we have to understand them,right? We have to know they're
there. And then how do weovercome them?
Unknown (33:53):
Yeah, we really have to recognize what they are. And
this is almost impossible to doby yourself. And it's one of the
things that a coach can help youwith. And that's why coaching is
so effective. And people getresults so quickly. Because you
have someone who cares about youwho's objective, who says, is
that true? You know, andchallenges your limiting
beliefs. And I do this all thetime. And so there's two things
(34:15):
that are true about belief. Thefirst thing is that behavior
always follows belief. Sowhatever it is, you're
believing, if you believe I'mtoo old, I'm too young, I don't
know, whatever your behaviorwill, will, will play that out.
The second thing that's trueabout beliefs is that we choose
them. So we do have the powerbecause the brain is the tool of
the mind, we can stop andchallenge a belief. And I
(34:38):
actually have a five stepprocess, that that helps people
actually walk through a belief Iidentify it for them. And then
we asked I asked them these fivequestions, and by the end of the
five questions there ready tolet that believe go and choose
another one. And the results arealways dramatic and just
amazing. So I think it'srecognizing that we all have
limiting beliefs and that andthat they feel true So that's
(35:00):
the thing is you have to knowthat your limiting beliefs feel
true to you, because you've beenthinking them for a long time.
And that's how our brain works.
It developed to ruts andpatterns. So you have to have
someone who's going to help youdisrupt that belief, and help
you choose a new one.
Rick Ripma (35:16):
And you actually have a process. It's interesting
that you have a process and itworks so quickly, because most
people really, this is one thatyou suffer with for years. Yeah,
it
Unknown (35:29):
really is. It's one appointment in my office,
because I'm positive psychologyand neuroscience has come so
far. And so we understandthings. There's some there's a
great book out called Managingthought by Mary Lorre, she was
the first person that thatshared that with me, it's like,
oh, you can choose your beliefsand get a different result.
Almost instantly, you can begoing this direction and choose
(35:50):
a new belief and start goingthis direction. You know, one
example is one time I wasworking with a woman, and she
wanted to hit a goal in hersales career. Excuse me, and,
um, tell me more about this. Whyis important? And she said, um,
she was disgusted with herself.
She was like, oh, I should havedone it by now. And that's an
(36:11):
example of a limiting belief isI should have done it by now.
And it seems innocuous andharmless, but it's not. Because
that's was the dialogue in ourhead is I should have done this
by now. And then I'm a failure,I couldn't do it. And it sets
her up for failure in thepresent, because she didn't
accomplish it in the past. Andso we did the five step
questions, which that veryquickly the questions are, is it
(36:33):
true? Where they always go? Yes,because it feels true. And the
second question, is itabsolutely true? Or is it always
true? Do you know without ashadow of a doubt that you
should have done it by now? Andwell, maybe it's not always
true? Or maybe it's notabsolutely true? And then I will
ask them? What is the how do youthink actor feel when you choose
(36:54):
to believe this thought that youshould have done it by now. And
here it comes, I feel like afailure. I feel like a loser. I
feel like I'm behind. I feellike I'm not good enough? Well,
that's the fruit of thatthought. And we're beginning to
see that. Whether it's true ornot, it's not helpful. And we
start to loosen its grip. Andthen I'll ask what, how would
(37:15):
you feel if you could no longerphysically think that thought
anymore? If I, if I could pullthat thought out of your mind,
and you didn't have access to itanymore? How would you feel? And
usually, it's like, I'd feelrelieved, I would feel hopeful,
I would feel like I have achance that I could do this. And
then I'll ask them what's moretrue than I should have done
this by now. And this is, thisis based on The Work of Byron
(37:36):
Katie, who she wrote a bookcalled, loving what is, and it's
just, it really helps you kindof choose new thoughts. And so
for in this case, I askedbecause we have to replace the
thought we can't, if we justeliminate a thought, something
else will fill that gap in ourbrain because it's a neural
(37:58):
pathway. And literally, as youcould take a picture of your
boss and see him. And so in thiscase, she chose a new thought is
what's more true than I shouldhave done it by now. And she
thought, and then she looked atme and her eyes just lit up. And
she said, my time is now. And soshe started choosing to repeat
that mantra to herself, insteadof the limiting belief, or the
self defeating and limitingbeliefs are usually a way to
(38:19):
protect us to protect our ego.
Because if we keep saying thatabout ourselves, it just keeps
us from trying. And it keeps usfrom feeling like we're failing.
Yeah,
Rick Ripma (38:29):
there's a guy I follow a member of his but he
says, your thoughts? Thoughtsbecome things. So choose the
good ones or something likethat, you know, that's
absolutely true. That our, ourthoughts become really our
thoughts, our why, where we arewhere we are today, right? Yeah.
(38:53):
Yeah. You know,
Unknown (38:55):
even to get back to your question about real estate
agents. So there, there's threelevels of motivation that I see
in people. And we have thelowest level of motivation is
desperation. And that's whenwe're at a client comes into my
office, and I hear them sayingthings like, I have to, I need
to, it's almost like they've gota gun to their head in there. If
I don't do this, it's really badthings are gonna happen. And so
(39:18):
that's motivation bydesperation. And it's actually
really effective because itengages our fight or flight
response. But we weren'tdesigned to live in flight or
fight fight, you know, for therest of our work consistently.
And so what happens is we getburnout if we continually use
desperation, as our form ofmotivation. And also it makes
(39:39):
the people around us reallytired. We were not invited to
parties anymore, because that'sno fun to be on someone who's
that stressed out all the time.
And then the middle form ofmotivation that I see is
rationalization and that's whenI should and that's when we're a
little bit too married toconventional wisdom and what
other people are doing becausewhen I hear Should well I should
(39:59):
work out, I should do this, Ishould do that. What I hear is
someone who's not takingresponsibility for themselves
and for what they believe inwhat they think is best for
them. They're still relying onother people and best practices
and kindness and things likethat. So I hear a lot of
shoulds. And that'srationalization. And I think we
all go through a period where wegot to explore that. But the
highest form and the best formof motivation is inspiration.
(40:21):
And that's when we can do whatwe really want to do. And that's
when in your case of the realestate agent who's sitting at
dinner, they have a compellingvision for their life, that
doesn't just include their salesgoal, but includes their
relationship with their family,the way they handle themselves
in situations like that. Andthey can do what they want to do
(40:42):
in that situation, without fearof loss, or something bad
happening. So
Rick Ripma (40:51):
yeah, I think it's, I think it's fascinating.
Because you, you, you obviouslyreally understand the art, our
psychological, how we work. Andso that's really helpful for
people. So if somebody, what ifsomebody thought, but I'd really
like to work with you, as acoach, what's the best way for
(41:12):
them to get a hold of you? Yeah,
Unknown (41:14):
the first thing I would recommend is for them to read
the book. It is it's on Audible,it's on Spotify, and you can get
a paperback, it's on Amazon,because the book is, so it's 20
years of coaching, summarized,and it's a power packed little
book. And most people tell me,they read it in one weekend,
because they it really kind ofwalks you through all these
(41:36):
issues. What is my purpose? Howcan I start to move step fuller
into my purpose? How do I createa compelling vision for my life
in my business that aligns andfeels good to me? How do I
increase my agency, which is mysense of really authority, and
how I show up and how I makedecisions so so all of those, I
really have made a concise casefor all of those different ideas
(41:59):
in the book. So get the book, ifyou liked the book, you're gonna
like working with me, if youdon't like the book, you
probably want to move on todifferent clubs. And then I have
a great opportunity right now, agroup that I call powerful
partners. And I wrote about thisin the book too, because my core
value is connection. And I havebeen able to connect people
together for just amazingpurposes, and wonderful things
(42:20):
are happening in the world. Andso I have a group coaching
program right now calledpowerful partners. It's a one
year program, where you getindividual one on one coaching
sessions with me, you get thebenefit of amazing group of
people for a monthlyaccountability call. And then I
host a quarterly event here intown called forces at work live.
(42:40):
And the next one is going toanyone can come to forces at
work live, it's a lunch, it's aworkshop. And, um, the next one
is on July 18, then I alreadyhave registration open for that
on my website. So okay, greatplace to network and to expand
your personal and professionalnetwork. Okay,
Rick Ripma (42:57):
perfect. So so the the powerful partners that group
coaching, which is I've nevergotten group coaching, I've
always, I've always doneindividual, but I put off
coaching forever. It's actuallymy youngest son, he went to IU
also, all my all my boys went toIU. And he was in a business
fraternity, and they usementors. And he's, he's done.
(43:23):
He's 31, he's done phenomenallywell. And because he always has
mentors, he always has a coach.
It's helped him immensely. So Isaw the value of it. I was one
who I was like, Well, I'm notgonna listen to him, so I'm not
going to do it.
Unknown (43:38):
Well, that's the thing, because there's a difference
between a consultant and acoach. You know, I'm coaching
Rick, coaching is actually thenumber one preferred method of
leadership development in thecountry right now. But people
know that and everybody wants acoach now, but a lot of people
can't articulate actually thedifference between coaching
teaching, training, mentoring,and or a pit of personal
(44:00):
improvement plans. So a goodcoach doesn't tell you what to
do. A good coach helps you makebetter decisions about what to
do. So yeah,
Rick Ripma (44:09):
yeah, yeah, that's what I found. I was that if I
had known I would have startedmuch sooner and been a lot
better off I think, yeah, but Iread what Bob golf, G O FF golf.
Yeah, who's a New York Timesbestselling author, because
you're talking about the bookand I think this is important.
I'm not the greatest. I'm agreat reader, but I'm not great
reading it out loud. They usedto make fun of me in school, so
(44:31):
I still have that limitingbelief. Okay,
Unknown (44:35):
now, now is your time.
Rick Ripma (44:38):
For forces that work is a love letter for anyone who
feels stuck pigeon holed, ormisaligned and their life or
career. If you're looking fortheory, you won't find it here.
What you'll find is deep empathyand a framework for clarity
based on missing hard won lifelessons. You'll be gently guided
by the skills and expertise orexperience of a gifted kid He
(45:00):
meets you where you are andhelps you reflect and take
action to realign your life witha purpose. This he has already
helped hundreds of people findtheir courage and conviction to
step into their their highestaspirations. I know this book
will help her reach many more.
Because just like me, she is inlove with your potential. And
together, all of us are forcesat work. And that's Bob Geldof.
(45:22):
I thought that was I mean, thatjust says a lot. Obviously, he's
a great writer, so he knows howto communicate but that and that
wasn't the only there was therewas another one. But I I picked
that one. And I guess I got ridof the I guess I got rid of the
No, here it is. And this is byand this is why I wasn't gonna
do this because I can'tpronounce his last name Steven.
(45:44):
Oh, talk hasay. Steven.
Fantastic. Yeah. So yeah, whowho is an award winning
producers, songwriter andeducator. And he said, here's
the truth. When Missy walks intothe room, the impossible
suddenly feels possible problemsbecome opportunities and far
fetched dreams become tangible.
She will move heaven and earthto help you believe in yourself.
(46:05):
Imagine three of those thingssay at all, if somebody has a
patient,
Unknown (46:11):
even Steven is the very first story in the book chapter
one, it might each other. Buthe's the very first story that I
share in the book, because whenI met Steve, and he was very
misaligned with his work, and hehad a ton of limiting beliefs.
And as we he came into myoffice, and we worked together
for six months, and he is livinghis dream right now. And he's
impacting so many people likehe's writing. He's writing music
(46:35):
for sitcoms, he's T he's workingwith many prolific artists. And
and he's also he's become aprofessor. So one of the things
that came out as we werecoaching is and this is my
superpower. My gift, too is Isee potential in people. And I
am able to just kind of move allthings aside and say, Wait, what
about this because there wasthis one piece of his story,
(46:57):
that puzzle piece that didn'tfit. And it was this love for
education. And so I didn't writethis part in the book. But one
of the things that he tried outduring our coaching time when he
became an elementary schoolteacher, and I'm like, you were
gonna hate that because becauseof the institutional and and all
that he did kind of end uphating it. But it was part of
the process where he, because hewanted to be an educator on some
(47:21):
level, and it was definitely apart of his DNA, but he hadn't
found a way to express it yet.
And so what ended up happeningis he ended up getting an
honorary doctorate from StanfordUniversity, so that they could
bring him on to teach thisincredible court because they
wanted someone with real lifeproducing experience, to teach
their students and to make itrelevant and current, which
(47:41):
education really needs rightnow. Yeah, you have a lot of
competition coming. Um, you canlearn almost anything on the
internet. And Steven has steppedinto this space so beautifully,
where he's creating his ownmusic. He's helping other
artists with their recordings.
And now he's also teachingstudents, and he's doing all
three of those thingssimultaneously. And they are
(48:03):
working together symbiotically,and it's just really amazing. So
that's one of my favoriterecommendations that I've ever
gotten. Because it makes me feellike my work matters. And it's
really helping people. Well,
Rick Ripma (48:16):
we're running out of time. So is there any last words
of wisdom you'd like to sharewith with the audience,
Unknown (48:21):
you know, just really gratitude read just, I'm so
thankful for the opportunity tohave known you and worked with
you and just delighted that youasked me to be on even though
I'm not currently a real estateagent anymore. I certainly love
working with agents and have atremendous amount of respect for
the work that you do as amortgage advisor, and that they
(48:45):
do and helping people make oneof the biggest decisions of
their life. And I'll be in touchas soon as the rates drop, so we
can refinance my house and I canredo my kitchen. Yeah,
Rick Ripma (48:55):
you and everybody else. I can't wait. You know,
it's,
Unknown (48:58):
it's as if people call like Missy, and
Rick Ripma (49:02):
we wish they'd come down, you know, they just
haven't yet. So, one more time.
The best way to get a hold ofyou. Go
Unknown (49:10):
to my website, because you're going to learn about if
you want to come to a live eventin Indy, check out events forces
that work live, I'd love to seeyou there. If you want to learn
about group coaching, it'scalled powerful partners. And
obviously reading the book, youcan get that on Amazon, but you
can actually access all of thatat Missy shropshire.com.
Rick Ripma (49:30):
Perfect. Well, I appreciate it. Missy. Thanks so
much for joining me today. It'syou've been awesome.
Unknown (49:35):
Thank you. Well, it's been my pleasure. And I really
enjoyed the time. Oh, perfect.
We'll have a lot of peopletoday.
Rick Ripma (49:42):
Yeah, I hope so. And if anybody wants to get a hold
of me, you can go to hardworking mortgage guy.com That's
hardworking mortgage guy.comThanks for joining us have a
great day went to MLS NUMBER33041 MLS NUMBER SIX which is
Nike. housing opportunity somerestrictions apply
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