November 20, 2024 • 16 mins
What if expressing your truth meant transforming your relationships and personal growth journey? In this heartfelt episode of Infinite Love with Kate, I open up about my personal evolution, revealing the powerful lessons learned from embracing authentic communication. Through stories of facing my fears and choosing empathy over manipulation, we unravel why speaking honestly is often so challenging. Join me on this reflective path as I share how intuition has guided me in selecting the right teachers and the courage required to walk away from those who no longer align with our true selves.
Together, we'll tackle the complexities of self-expression, especially in the face of challenging personalities like narcissists. Drawing from personal experiences, I discuss how recognizing our own triggers and communicating with integrity can turn confrontations into lessons of compassion and growth. With a focus on accountability, stemming from my family's teachings, we ponder whether silence is serving or stifling us and how to responsibly voice our truths. This episode offers a thoughtful exploration of staying true to oneself and the transformative power of heartfelt communication.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, welcome to Infinite Love with Kate.
I told you I was in the workschanging everything up and here
I am going live Finally.
It's been a long time coming.
So now, while you're listening,you could go to my YouTube
channel, click on my link andfollow, subscribe and share, or
(00:23):
you can continue to listen onall platforms, whichever you
prefer.
But I wanted to put myself outthere.
You guys have been listening tomy voice for long enough and I
figured it was time.
I do quite a few guest speakingspots on other people's
podcasts, so I said why not atleast try to dabble with this?
(00:44):
Get my feet wet, getcomfortable, so sit back, relax
and enjoy another episode ofInfinite Love with Kate.
So for today's episode, I justwant to unravel something that's
been on my mind honestly, andit's say what you need to say.
(01:05):
I know it's a loaded phrase,but I'm at the point in my life
where I've done a lot of thehealing work and I'm not perfect
by any means.
But I always come up with thequestion of why can't people
just say what they need to sayor say what they mean to say?
(01:25):
Why does it have to be a game?
Why does it have to bemanipulation.
Why does it have to be thishuge ordeal of trying to figure
out what it is?
People are trying to say andI'm guilty as well are trying to
say and I'm guilty as wellPrior to doing any shadow work,
(01:47):
any healing work, I was exactlythat person.
So I take full accountabilitythat I was that person.
I was afraid to say the thingsI wanted to say.
There was always fear and I hadto figure out where that came
from.
So that's kind of what's beenon my mind is not so much as
(02:08):
unraveling others and what theyneed to say, but just in general
, say what you mean to say.
You only live life once.
So I continue to walk the pathof confusion, fear, abandonment.
(02:29):
Why not just say the things youmean to say?
Now, there's a way of sayingthings.
For sure, I recently haveendured some people that have a
little chip on their shoulderand obviously, yes, it's ego.
But there's a way to say thingswith empathy, with compassion,
(02:52):
with love, and you don't have toby any means.
But I know for myself I couldchoose to walk away with my head
held high and that's not my ego, it's not my pride, it's just
that I just don't align withthat.
I don't align with how you'recoming at me or how you think
(03:14):
you're teaching me.
It's just not mine, not mine tobear, and personally I'm at a
place where I know how I like tobe taught.
I know when things excite me,when I want to learn.
That's what drives people,inspires people per se, is you
(03:41):
captivate them, you gravitatethem, you excite them with your
teachings.
And if you can't do that,instead you bully them.
You're not teaching anyone,you're not doing God's work,
you're not doing anyone's work,You're doing your own ego's work
.
And it's not exciting, it's notenticing, it doesn't make me
(04:08):
want to stick around and learnfrom you.
And I've had quite a fewteachers growing up, some that
were absolutely extraordinary,some not so much, and those are
the ones you know that are runby their own ego or their own
(04:28):
God, complex, whatever it may be.
But there comes a point in yourlife when you know intuitively
when to walk away, when to holdthem, when to fall.
So that was something that'sbeen kind of coming up for me
(04:49):
lately is my experiences withothers, the alignment or
disalignment, and I sit thereand I evaluate it, I evaluate
myself, I go through it BecauseI again, I'm not perfect.
So I have to ask myself thesame questions.
Is it my ego, is it somethingI'm missing, or is it them?
(05:14):
How do I feel when I'mconfronted by them?
Okay, if I don't feelcomfortable, if I don't feel
good, I don't feel anenlightenment, then it's not my
ego, it's not my pride, it'sjust that we are in two
different places of our livesand it's time to walk away.
(05:35):
So why don't people just saywhat they mean to say?
Why does everything have to belayered?
And I don't mean just layeredin details where you're trying
to figure everything out.
I'm talking layered in thesense of their own healing work.
(05:58):
I can't do your work, I can'tdo your healing, your work, I
can't do your healing.
So if you're not saying whatyou need to say and that's just
this mindset that you want me tofigure it out on my own, I just
I'm clearly not getting it, youknow.
Then I sit with it.
(06:19):
And if I had to sit with it fortoo long, it's just to me not
worth it, because now I'mwasting time sitting with this
notion that you want me tofigure something out.
And again, I know the worldworks in a domino effect, you're
led by one, who's led byanother, who's led by another.
So I don't know if anyone'sgoing to connect with this
(06:39):
episode or not, but it's justsomething, like I said, that's
been on my mind.
It's been interesting, thethings I've been witnessing and
observing or experiencing, andit's really had me
self-reflecting and really goingdeep within and asking myself
(06:59):
is this where I want to be?
Because usually, when you'renot in alignment with people,
with your surroundings, withevents, it tells you it's time
right, it's time to let it go,it's time to step away or it's
time to make those moves orthose changes.
And that's exactly what I'vebeen doing lately quietly too,
(07:24):
because I don't owe anyone anexplanation.
I don't and sometimes it'sbetter to keep things to
yourself.
When you're making those moves,especially those positive moves,
the world doesn't need to knowand you don't need the world to
validate you for the choicesyou're making.
It's all free will.
So you're right Making thesechanges, making these moves, and
(07:50):
clearly one of them is righthere, right now, this recording
session live Me and you, or Ishould say me and the device, me
and a phone, I and you, or Ishould say me and the device, me
and a phone.
I'm here and it might feeluncomfortable, I might feel a
little nervous, but I'm puttingmyself out there and I know this
(08:12):
episode isn't going to be thelongest.
Right now it probably is a bitconfusing and I promise you they
won't all be confusing, but itwas just something that's been
on my mind all day and I know itserved a greater purpose and
maybe it serves a purpose forall of you who are listening.
Maybe you're experiencingsomething similar without even
(08:34):
knowing it, and maybe you'reasking yourself why aren't I not
saying the things I mean to say?
Is it because I can't say themwithout judgment?
Or I can't say them becausethere's still fear behind it
which triggers my emotions?
(08:55):
And, man, I mean, I used toalways have that reaction
instead of a connection, aresponse to something someone
would say and it wasn't theirfault, even though at the time I
probably blamed them.
That was my ego, that was mywound.
It was the trigger, whichultimately is money.
(09:19):
Just because someone else sayssomething that triggers you,
it's not theirs, it's yours.
That trigger is meant for youto experience, even if it makes
you uncomfortable.
Feel it, because you know whatUltimately, you're going to heal
it If you allow yourself tofeel it, allow yourself to fight
with it, sit with it, arguewith yourself, argue with it.
(09:41):
You're going to heal it andyou're going to simply let it go
.
And then you're going to haveanother experience, and that
experience isn't going to feelas crazy, as chaotic, as painful
as the first time you felttriggered.
Isn't that what you want foryourself?
I used to be in the most randomsituations where I was triggered
(10:03):
and I'd have that high-pitchedsqueal, react to it and
sometimes, yes, I was insituations with narcissists.
So you can't win those battles,but you know whether or not to
speak up for yourself or to walkaway, and it's all about just
assessing, assessing to speak upfor yourself or to walk away,
and it's all about justassessing, assessing the moment.
(10:27):
Right then and there, what do Ifeel?
Do I feel fight or flight?
Am I feeling anxious?
Do I feel emotional?
Do I really want to have anemotional outburst in front of
the world?
Okay, no, alright, take acouple deep breaths.
I'm going to walk away.
They're not letting me walkaway.
Okay, no, alright, take acouple deep breaths.
I'm going to walk away.
They're not letting me walkaway, okay, well then, I'm going
to reiterate I am stepping away.
(10:47):
You know, if they don't allow meto step away and they're still
poking at me, I really know it'stheirs.
I really know who they are as aperson, because those types of
people they're out there, theywant to entice you, they want to
poke at you and poke at youbecause they know they're going
to get a reaction, but they're ablessing in disguise.
(11:09):
They're there so you can healthat.
That's how I look at it now isgo ahead, make my day.
You're there to heal me.
Thank you, I'm going to walkaway.
A better person, a strongerperson, a more loving person, a
compassionate person, a warrior,and you're still going to be in
(11:30):
that loop of karma.
So I bid you adieu.
Have a great day.
That's the kind of things I sayto myself when I'm in those
situations.
Now, have I been triggered?
Yes, will I always be triggered?
Of course, but not in ways thatI can't handle, unless it's a
brand new wound I have notforeseen yet.
(11:52):
I mean, I don't wish that uponmyself, but I don't know what
I've buried deep inside all mylife.
So I'd like to say thatmajority of the wounds I've
experienced have come up in thelast couple of years, because
I've really allowed myself tosit with it.
But who knows, who knows?
(12:13):
So say what you mean to say.
Are you saying exactly what youwould like to say to people, not
in fear of hurting them, butalso in a proper way?
That doesn't have to be somalicious.
It may hurt them, but guesswhat?
You may be bringing them a gift, a lesson.
(12:33):
And if those people walk awaybecause they can't handle the
truth or they can't handle thetrigger they weren't meant to be
in your life in that moment, itdoesn't mean they can't come
the truth or they can't handlethe trigger.
They weren't meant to be inyour life in that moment.
It doesn't mean they can't comeback into your life.
It just means that in thatmoment you both are out of
alignment.
So why put yourself throughthat?
(12:54):
I think the whole world needs tolearn this, that it doesn't
have to be a constant battle.
We don't all see eye to eye.
I mean, look at the politicaldebates going on right now.
We don't all agree.
However, that doesn't mean thatwe all can't choose kindness
and love and self-respect andrespect for others.
(13:20):
Say what you mean to say withouthaving to put others down,
because then you're really notsaying anything at all.
You're using words to load thegun, and the gun is your mouth,
is your voice, is yourprojections of what you're doing
to hurt other people.
Don't load that gun.
Say what you mean to save itwith compassion.
(13:44):
And that's the biggest thingthat I'm learning now is am I
always saying what I mean to say?
Because there's a reason itcomes off, there's a reason.
I'm being weird this too.
So you see, I always find a wayto take accountability too.
I don't just look at asituation and point my finger
and be like you, you, you, you,you, you.
(14:04):
No, I find the mirror.
The world is our mirror, theworld is our teacher.
So whenever someone projectssomething, even if they mean
they're teaching you, it's stilltheir projection, it's still
their ego.
So it's something they need tohear themselves and hopefully it
clips with them themselves.
But if their ego is so big andtheir dog complex is coming up,
(14:29):
it's a longer road for them,it's more karma for them to face
.
So I make sure to find thatbalance of okay.
Is it my ego?
I question myself, and I wastaught that at such a young age
by my family.
Whenever someone would get introuble, my parents would
reflect upon us first what didyou do?
You had to kind of plead yourcase.
(14:52):
All right, I swear it wasn't methis time.
But it taught us accountability.
It taught us to takeaccountability when we know
we're in the wrong, which youhope that over time we would not
do wrong.
But we weren't perfect as kids.
(15:14):
I mean I tried to get out of acouple parties I threw Again.
Not perfect, just fun.
So say what you mean to say.
That's the lesson, that's thequestion.
Go out there and think about it.
Let it sit with you.
Are you saying everything youneed to say to people?
(15:36):
And if you're not saying it, isit for the right reason or is
it because you're avoiding?
Are you running from it?
Are you avoiding thosesituations on purpose?
And if you're not doing that,great, then you're doing it for
you.
So with that, this is a shorterepisode, but I thank you,
(16:03):
because this really wasn't whatI planned on doing today.
I actually had something elsein mind, but that question
really sat with me and it will.
It'll sit with me a little bitfurther along tonight, but I
think I went on to somethinghere, onto something here.
I think I'm really seeing andpeeling back the layers of why
(16:25):
that is the mantra for today.
So with that I bid you adieu.
I want you all to have anamazing day and I again thank
you for this first-timeexperience of going live solo on
Infinite Love with Cheat.
Have an amazing and amazing day, take care.
Hi, welcome to Infinite Love with Kate.
I told you I was in the workschanging everything up and here
I am going live Finally.
It's been a long time coming.
So now, while you're listening,you could go to my YouTube
channel, click on my link andfollow, subscribe and share, or
(00:23):
you can continue to listen onall platforms, whichever you
prefer.
But I wanted to put myself outthere.
You guys have been listening tomy voice for long enough and I
figured it was time.
I do quite a few guest speakingspots on other people's
podcasts, so I said why not atleast try to dabble with this?
(00:44):
Get my feet wet, getcomfortable, so sit back, relax
and enjoy another episode ofInfinite Love with Kate.
So for today's episode, I justwant to unravel something that's
been on my mind honestly, andit's say what you need to say.
(01:05):
I know it's a loaded phrase,but I'm at the point in my life
where I've done a lot of thehealing work and I'm not perfect
by any means.
But I always come up with thequestion of why can't people
just say what they need to sayor say what they mean to say?
(01:25):
Why does it have to be a game?
Why does it have to bemanipulation.
Why does it have to be thishuge ordeal of trying to figure
out what it is?
People are trying to say andI'm guilty as well are trying to
say and I'm guilty as wellPrior to doing any shadow work,
(01:47):
any healing work, I was exactlythat person.
So I take full accountabilitythat I was that person.
I was afraid to say the thingsI wanted to say.
There was always fear and I hadto figure out where that came
from.
So that's kind of what's beenon my mind is not so much as
(02:08):
unraveling others and what theyneed to say, but just in general
, say what you mean to say.
You only live life once.
So I continue to walk the pathof confusion, fear, abandonment.
(02:29):
Why not just say the things youmean to say?
Now, there's a way of sayingthings.
For sure, I recently haveendured some people that have a
little chip on their shoulderand obviously, yes, it's ego.
But there's a way to say thingswith empathy, with compassion,
(02:52):
with love, and you don't have toby any means.
But I know for myself I couldchoose to walk away with my head
held high and that's not my ego, it's not my pride, it's just
that I just don't align withthat.
I don't align with how you'recoming at me or how you think
(03:14):
you're teaching me.
It's just not mine, not mine tobear, and personally I'm at a
place where I know how I like tobe taught.
I know when things excite me,when I want to learn.
That's what drives people,inspires people per se, is you
(03:41):
captivate them, you gravitatethem, you excite them with your
teachings.
And if you can't do that,instead you bully them.
You're not teaching anyone,you're not doing God's work,
you're not doing anyone's work,You're doing your own ego's work
.
And it's not exciting, it's notenticing, it doesn't make me
(04:08):
want to stick around and learnfrom you.
And I've had quite a fewteachers growing up, some that
were absolutely extraordinary,some not so much, and those are
the ones you know that are runby their own ego or their own
(04:28):
God, complex, whatever it may be.
But there comes a point in yourlife when you know intuitively
when to walk away, when to holdthem, when to fall.
So that was something that'sbeen kind of coming up for me
(04:49):
lately is my experiences withothers, the alignment or
disalignment, and I sit thereand I evaluate it, I evaluate
myself, I go through it BecauseI again, I'm not perfect.
So I have to ask myself thesame questions.
Is it my ego, is it somethingI'm missing, or is it them?
(05:14):
How do I feel when I'mconfronted by them?
Okay, if I don't feelcomfortable, if I don't feel
good, I don't feel anenlightenment, then it's not my
ego, it's not my pride, it'sjust that we are in two
different places of our livesand it's time to walk away.
(05:35):
So why don't people just saywhat they mean to say?
Why does everything have to belayered?
And I don't mean just layeredin details where you're trying
to figure everything out.
I'm talking layered in thesense of their own healing work.
(05:58):
I can't do your work, I can'tdo your healing, your work, I
can't do your healing.
So if you're not saying whatyou need to say and that's just
this mindset that you want me tofigure it out on my own, I just
I'm clearly not getting it, youknow.
Then I sit with it.
(06:19):
And if I had to sit with it fortoo long, it's just to me not
worth it, because now I'mwasting time sitting with this
notion that you want me tofigure something out.
And again, I know the worldworks in a domino effect, you're
led by one, who's led byanother, who's led by another.
So I don't know if anyone'sgoing to connect with this
(06:39):
episode or not, but it's justsomething, like I said, that's
been on my mind.
It's been interesting, thethings I've been witnessing and
observing or experiencing, andit's really had me
self-reflecting and really goingdeep within and asking myself
(06:59):
is this where I want to be?
Because usually, when you'renot in alignment with people,
with your surroundings, withevents, it tells you it's time
right, it's time to let it go,it's time to step away or it's
time to make those moves orthose changes.
And that's exactly what I'vebeen doing lately quietly too,
(07:24):
because I don't owe anyone anexplanation.
I don't and sometimes it'sbetter to keep things to
yourself.
When you're making those moves,especially those positive moves,
the world doesn't need to knowand you don't need the world to
validate you for the choicesyou're making.
It's all free will.
So you're right Making thesechanges, making these moves, and
(07:50):
clearly one of them is righthere, right now, this recording
session live Me and you, or Ishould say me and the device, me
and a phone, I and you, or Ishould say me and the device, me
and a phone.
I'm here and it might feeluncomfortable, I might feel a
little nervous, but I'm puttingmyself out there and I know this
(08:12):
episode isn't going to be thelongest.
Right now it probably is a bitconfusing and I promise you they
won't all be confusing, but itwas just something that's been
on my mind all day and I know itserved a greater purpose and
maybe it serves a purpose forall of you who are listening.
Maybe you're experiencingsomething similar without even
(08:34):
knowing it, and maybe you'reasking yourself why aren't I not
saying the things I mean to say?
Is it because I can't say themwithout judgment?
Or I can't say them becausethere's still fear behind it
which triggers my emotions?
(08:55):
And, man, I mean, I used toalways have that reaction
instead of a connection, aresponse to something someone
would say and it wasn't theirfault, even though at the time I
probably blamed them.
That was my ego, that was mywound.
It was the trigger, whichultimately is money.
(09:19):
Just because someone else sayssomething that triggers you,
it's not theirs, it's yours.
That trigger is meant for youto experience, even if it makes
you uncomfortable.
Feel it, because you know whatUltimately, you're going to heal
it If you allow yourself tofeel it, allow yourself to fight
with it, sit with it, arguewith yourself, argue with it.
(09:41):
You're going to heal it andyou're going to simply let it go
.
And then you're going to haveanother experience, and that
experience isn't going to feelas crazy, as chaotic, as painful
as the first time you felttriggered.
Isn't that what you want foryourself?
I used to be in the most randomsituations where I was triggered
(10:03):
and I'd have that high-pitchedsqueal, react to it and
sometimes, yes, I was insituations with narcissists.
So you can't win those battles,but you know whether or not to
speak up for yourself or to walkaway, and it's all about just
assessing, assessing to speak upfor yourself or to walk away,
and it's all about justassessing, assessing the moment.
(10:27):
Right then and there, what do Ifeel?
Do I feel fight or flight?
Am I feeling anxious?
Do I feel emotional?
Do I really want to have anemotional outburst in front of
the world?
Okay, no, alright, take acouple deep breaths.
I'm going to walk away.
They're not letting me walkaway.
Okay, no, alright, take acouple deep breaths.
I'm going to walk away.
They're not letting me walkaway, okay, well then, I'm going
to reiterate I am stepping away.
(10:47):
You know, if they don't allow meto step away and they're still
poking at me, I really know it'stheirs.
I really know who they are as aperson, because those types of
people they're out there, theywant to entice you, they want to
poke at you and poke at youbecause they know they're going
to get a reaction, but they're ablessing in disguise.
(11:09):
They're there so you can healthat.
That's how I look at it now isgo ahead, make my day.
You're there to heal me.
Thank you, I'm going to walkaway.
A better person, a strongerperson, a more loving person, a
compassionate person, a warrior,and you're still going to be in
(11:30):
that loop of karma.
So I bid you adieu.
Have a great day.
That's the kind of things I sayto myself when I'm in those
situations.
Now, have I been triggered?
Yes, will I always be triggered?
Of course, but not in ways thatI can't handle, unless it's a
brand new wound I have notforeseen yet.
(11:52):
I mean, I don't wish that uponmyself, but I don't know what
I've buried deep inside all mylife.
So I'd like to say thatmajority of the wounds I've
experienced have come up in thelast couple of years, because
I've really allowed myself tosit with it.
But who knows, who knows?
(12:13):
So say what you mean to say.
Are you saying exactly what youwould like to say to people, not
in fear of hurting them, butalso in a proper way?
That doesn't have to be somalicious.
It may hurt them, but guesswhat?
You may be bringing them a gift, a lesson.
(12:33):
And if those people walk awaybecause they can't handle the
truth or they can't handle thetrigger they weren't meant to be
in your life in that moment, itdoesn't mean they can't come
the truth or they can't handlethe trigger.
They weren't meant to be inyour life in that moment.
It doesn't mean they can't comeback into your life.
It just means that in thatmoment you both are out of
alignment.
So why put yourself throughthat?
(12:54):
I think the whole world needs tolearn this, that it doesn't
have to be a constant battle.
We don't all see eye to eye.
I mean, look at the politicaldebates going on right now.
We don't all agree.
However, that doesn't mean thatwe all can't choose kindness
and love and self-respect andrespect for others.
(13:20):
Say what you mean to say withouthaving to put others down,
because then you're really notsaying anything at all.
You're using words to load thegun, and the gun is your mouth,
is your voice, is yourprojections of what you're doing
to hurt other people.
Don't load that gun.
Say what you mean to save itwith compassion.
(13:44):
And that's the biggest thingthat I'm learning now is am I
always saying what I mean to say?
Because there's a reason itcomes off, there's a reason.
I'm being weird this too.
So you see, I always find a wayto take accountability too.
I don't just look at asituation and point my finger
and be like you, you, you, you,you, you.
(14:04):
No, I find the mirror.
The world is our mirror, theworld is our teacher.
So whenever someone projectssomething, even if they mean
they're teaching you, it's stilltheir projection, it's still
their ego.
So it's something they need tohear themselves and hopefully it
clips with them themselves.
But if their ego is so big andtheir dog complex is coming up,
(14:29):
it's a longer road for them,it's more karma for them to face
.
So I make sure to find thatbalance of okay.
Is it my ego?
I question myself, and I wastaught that at such a young age
by my family.
Whenever someone would get introuble, my parents would
reflect upon us first what didyou do?
You had to kind of plead yourcase.
(14:52):
All right, I swear it wasn't methis time.
But it taught us accountability.
It taught us to takeaccountability when we know
we're in the wrong, which youhope that over time we would not
do wrong.
But we weren't perfect as kids.
(15:14):
I mean I tried to get out of acouple parties I threw Again.
Not perfect, just fun.
So say what you mean to say.
That's the lesson, that's thequestion.
Go out there and think about it.
Let it sit with you.
Are you saying everything youneed to say to people?
(15:36):
And if you're not saying it, isit for the right reason or is
it because you're avoiding?
Are you running from it?
Are you avoiding thosesituations on purpose?
And if you're not doing that,great, then you're doing it for
you.
So with that, this is a shorterepisode, but I thank you,
(16:03):
because this really wasn't whatI planned on doing today.
I actually had something elsein mind, but that question
really sat with me and it will.
It'll sit with me a little bitfurther along tonight, but I
think I went on to somethinghere, onto something here.
I think I'm really seeing andpeeling back the layers of why
(16:25):
that is the mantra for today.
So with that I bid you adieu.
I want you all to have anamazing day and I again thank
you for this first-timeexperience of going live solo on
Infinite Love with Cheat.
Have an amazing and amazing day, take care.
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