November 6, 2024 • 40 mins
Welcome to Part II of my interview with my friend, my co-worker Ronette Lusby-Brown. Two educators keeping it real on our off hours and letting down our hair and speaking our truths.
What happens when you combine heartfelt storytelling, personal growth, and a splash of fashion humor? Join us for a transformative episode with special guest Ronette Lesby-Brown as we navigate the complexities of life, focusing on themes of healing, self-love, and embracing authenticity. We share personal experiences, including the emotional preparation for a hysterectomy, and how this journey has shifted perspectives on creativity and self-care. Together, we reflect on the significance of gratitude and the small joys in life, from quiet moments of introspection to the simple pleasure of putting on makeup.
From the addictive allure of online shopping on platforms like Amazon and TikTok Shop to the struggle of finding comfort in one's own skin, our conversation takes a playful turn into the world of fashion and body positivity. We humorously tackle the temptations of impulse buying and explore how personal style can be a journey of self-acceptance and newfound confidence. Sharing stories of personal growth, we celebrate the freedom of personal style choices and emphasize the importance of dressing for yourself, whether it's for a special event or just another day.
The episode circles back to profound topics of self-healing and authenticity. We uncover the power of storytelling, exploring how embracing one's unique narrative can teach empathy and kindness, especially to our children. Ronette and I discuss the importance of being genuine, rejecting societal pressures, and focusing on self-love and acceptance. As educators, we also share our passion for teaching and mentoring, highlighting how revisiting childhood passions can ignite new creative paths. Join us as we champion authenticity and patience in pursuing personal and professional growth.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, back at it again.
Just as I promised, part two ofInfinite Love with Kate, with
my special guest, ronetteLesby-Brown If you've been
following, you're going to enjoyanother long episode of an
interview we had Eh, it's noteven an interview, a
conversation we were having backand forth of two people just
(00:21):
kicking it, talking about life,talking about growth and healing
, talking about our bodies andself-love.
But if you're new to this, Irecommend that you go back to
part one and enjoy.
And also, if you are new tothis or you're returning, I
appreciate your love and supportbecause obviously I know I've
been on a hiatus and thisinterview, or duet, took place
(00:45):
over the summer prior to mefinding out that.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I had to have a hysterectomy.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
So you're going to hear a lot of heavy breathing.
I apologize, it is what it is.
I tried to do the best editingI could, but we also found a
glitch in our microphones duringit and it really wasn't worth
paying all the extra moneybecause they said they couldn't
do much for it.
So with the time that I had off, I did the research that I
could and did the best editing Icould.
(01:11):
You can adjust your volume allyou want.
Bear with me.
I hope you still enjoy it,because it is definitely worth
listening to the humor, thebanter, the love, the respect
for each other.
And also stay tuned for what'scoming in the next few weeks, as
I finally regain my strengthback on my feet, back at work,
trying to balance life and alsojump back into the creative
(01:35):
world for what's to come forseason five.
So enjoy as we jump back intothe conversation, talking about
self-reflection in our cars andwhere that takes us.
That is my newest thing thisyear.
That that's my beautifulreflection.
Like I'm taking that breath I'mtaking as if I have chaos
coming in here this house isfine, though it is up, like you
(01:57):
know but I'm grateful, and I'mgrateful for my home part, yeah,
I take my seatbelt off.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah, I get that left leg sit it up.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
So now, I got one leg up, one leg down and then I'm
scrolling yeah on my phone and I.
But while I'm doing that, I'mtalking to myself, reflecting
myself how grateful I am.
I'm like man, today was trying,but today was awesome.
It ended on a good note, orthis is all mine.
Yeah, I'm grateful for what Imean, like I've lived there for
I don't know, 14 years, 13 years, think, you know.
(02:25):
I love it because every dayI'll be out there for 20 minutes
to 40 minutes forgetting sogood.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Good Now that self care.
Yes, oh, yeah I personallydon't do that great of a job
with self care, but like gettingmy hair done is therapeutic,
that's self care right, eventhough it costs so much yeah, if
you guys know people that youknow want to.
You know, get some free wigs,yes you know, uh, yes, I'm out
here just saying right, becauseI spent a grip for my hair, but
(02:54):
I have an amazing hairstylistthat it's an art form for her
right and I love it.
But that self-care for me, yeah, when you get up and you do
your makeup every day, I dobecause it makes me feel
beautiful.
It's self-care for me, yeah,when you get up and you do your
makeup every day, I do becauseit makes me feel beautiful.
It's self-care for me and youknow, I'll do my face and I
don't even wear foundation,Right?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
It's just, I like putting on my lashes and I like
a cute, shiny lip gloss.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
She does love her lip gloss.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yes, and I love my lip bar, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Lipstick yeah, stays on all day right, but it's just
little things like that aretherapeutic.
Me shopping on amazon what didyou see it?
I've been, you know, for mytrip, and every day is five, six
packages.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I'm like I gotta stop I know my cart has like 357 000
things I know and I put them onhold.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Am I, do I?
I always ask myself do I needit it, do I desire it?
Or is this just greed?
But everyone's?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
not thinking they'd be slick right.
It'd be like there are items inyour cart that has a price
change.
And it'd be like oh, it wentfrom $19.99 to $19.98.
You think I'm come on, I'mgoing to need to.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Well, that's why I got addicted to TikTok shop.
Talk about price cutting.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I've never ordered off a TikTok shop.
Okay, careful, I'm alwaysafraid.
Oh, I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Everything comes right away.
I mean not as fast as obviouslyAmazon.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
But see, that's my problem.
I don't like waiting.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Well, if you don't mind waiting and you like, the
price cuts.
But what's the wait?
A couple days?
Oh okay, it just depends onwhere it's coming from.
It'll tell you too before yousay okay.
But yeah, tiktok shop.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yes, tiktok shop.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yeah, like some things are like $4.99.
I'm like what, really?
Yeah, I just got like anAvroler, one of those things
that you land around.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
I bought the stepper machine for my booty and my fast
.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
But here's the thing, right, you use it.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
So my mind, and my body are like enemies.
You know my song, whatever Ihave for them to be friends.
Oh god, because my mind is likeyou can do it right, but my
body like girl.
You don't put that space on.
And it sucked you in and keephow do you?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I've probably a one handful times worn space.
I can't breathe.
I wear a girdle every day.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
One.
I don't want to jiggle.
I don't want my booty jigglingin my summer dresses and my
clothes, like that's just.
I keep it all together.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You do, but I you're talking the corset from way back
in Bridgerton's era you love itI know you would have been,
whereas I would have been betteroff as a dude in a tuxedo,
because I could pull that vibeoff, but shonda needs to call me
like she does be an extra.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Oh, maybe we could do that.
I just want to.
Just I just want to be in adress and like the wigs and okay
yeah, that would never.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I would never.
I would have on titanic, Iwould have just jumped.
I would be like, screw it, ohno, take me, take me right to
the bottom.
I would have been floating onboo.
No, with that corset I wouldjump and go down.
Go down with the ship.
No, that's just not my, I can't.
These are the little signs thatI should have always picked up
on.
And how gay I was as a child.
Because one hated wearingdresses, hated it.
(05:58):
We always wore dresses,everything.
Put me in a white dress for afamily picnic every year.
Come out of that forestpreserve, had to tow in dirt
because I was like a rough riderand just had to be the tomboy
that just rolled down, explore.
And yeah, I could.
I mean I look good in a dress.
I mean I definitely.
There's a couple pictures I wasshowing work.
Yeah, I was feeling it.
If that's the important part, Iwas like, damn, you can't put
(06:21):
me back in those dresses, I I'llpull it off, but I just no, not
comfortable.
Once I realized, especially thelast year, my comfortability of
my fit and I loved that part ofme is like coming into my body
and knowing what I like and whatI feel good in.
I was like, oh okay, I'mgetting there.
I love to see that growth likemy personal validation.
When I get to validate myself,I'm like, yeah, I'm really
(06:41):
feeling that myself, myself, I'mlike I'm really feeling that
myself.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
All right, yeah, I've been thinking those thoughts.
Yes me, I throw a dress on.
Yeah, I throw jeans on.
I'll do dragon pants on.
Yeah, it just, I just go with.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
However, I feel that yeah, and then you see me at
work and, uh, joggers every day.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
You're like that's what she's feeling listen,
listen, it's you right, it is methough it is me, yes, like
honest self, like it is totallyoh yeah like me.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And then like, when I get to dress up, like that was
the part I was learning.
So when I got to dress up forthat cruise this year, that's
the stuff I've been envisioning,but not knowing what to how to
put it together.
And then when we said let's doa sneaker ball, I was like, oh,
my god, thank you universe,you're giving me that
opportunity of how I want toexpress myself.
And I loved it, maybe just alittle bit of that tummy wave,
(07:28):
but I was like, oh crap, I'mhitting the 44, menopausing time
to get all that checked out,but I still loved it.
I was like, damn alright, andyou felt good about it.
Oh, and I already have it in myhead like, okay, okay, a lot of
this year I wore blazers.
I was like yeah, I like this.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I feel it.
You did wear a lot of blazers,yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I liked it, I was loving that, I felt comfortable
in it, which I never did before.
You ever have those days.
I remember a lot in high schooland college where nothing fit
right and you were just like I'mnot going anywhere, I'm just
not doing it.
My clothes, my body was justlike okay, I did not have that
luxury, I just but it was, itwas me.
(08:09):
It was the insecurity though Ithink of I don't know how I
identify anything with.
I mean, it would be sotraumatic where I was like I
can't go out.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I knew not to go out I mean, that's how I felt with
my hair, like yeah it's onestrand was out of place, like
life was over yeah, it's justI'm not but I couldn't
understand.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
You know, like I couldn't understand what it was,
though that was making me souncomfortable, I'd see the image
in the mirror.
I was like, no, this doesn'tfit right, or I don't fit right,
you know.
But I was not anywhere nearconnected to my body as I am now
.
So I'm like, oh, it makes sense.
20 years later, you're like Iwish you could jump back in your
life and be like little girl.
You're going to be okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Like I am thick, shapely, I like it right.
This fupa, it's here, it's notgoing anywhere.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I spank it up, I girdle it up, but listen, god
knows, he can't make my stomachflat.
Yeah, I wouldn't have a job,right, like I would be that girl
.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
You wouldn't, no, no.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I.
What do you want?
You want me to teach, not today.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
You're like I'm doing something else, something else,
what, like?
Everything would be crap.
So god knows like.
And then we're gonna go back tojay-z, jay-z, jay-z's, like
girl, we can't give you a flatstomach.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
We already saw your future but I cannot make it too
flat.
You're going to act out and Ican't even get mad at him
because I know he's telling thetruth.
Yeah, he is, because I'mtelling him what I'm gonna do,
like I already have visuals ofwhat I would do take it off four
days in a row.
Yes, my stomach I'm doingthings over here, but don't you
(09:38):
worry, I'm making my own moneythe days that I am here, because
when I am here I'm gonna do anamazing job, amazing job.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
You're like, speaking of that, I got like 160 days
saved up, so you leave me alone,but when it's a good stomach
day.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
See you tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
But God knows that.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, he does Jesus, he saw.
He's like honey, I already sawyour future life, he did.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
So he said I'm going to give you this little pooch
where, yeah, I'd say, okay, youknow what I mean, and you know,
I gotta be humble.
In my garden you can't do toomuch because I still gotta
breathe.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Oh yeah, that's why, but he knows me.
No, when you go home, you letall that out, right?
yeah, listen first of all, whenI go home, I like to be free
yeah, free, free I'm free Ithink we uh, I won't share the
story, but I think you had toldme a story that you fell asleep
one time, too free.
You forgot free.
But no, you forgot you were.
It was like a nap.
You didn't expect to fallasleep and the family came home
because I'm free, yeah they'relike you're having like uh man,
(10:31):
you might want to go in the.
You know the bedroom don't befree let me be me right.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, of course that's how it is.
But you know, I, like I toldyou me and jesus got this
understanding like he, he knewsome things he just can't give
me.
He can make me an amazingteacher, but he know he can't
give me a flat stomach, becauseI can be amazing with a flat
stomach.
You know, I'm not going to be aword.
I'm not going to know where togo, I wouldn't even know what to
do.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I just need to read.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
If my stomach was that flat Look in my trunk, the
sports bra on and some leggingsand shorts Like I just I know my
level of ignorance.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Like I know though.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Like though, yeah, like I'm gonna be a fashion.
No, no accountability.
Yeah, my pajamas.
I'm gonna be a fashion over mylike all the time my level of
ignorance would be so bad.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah, so we see you everywhere.
What billboards and all listenlike be like somebody don't stop
her, let her go but I know yeah, so that's why claim it.
You gotta claim it, it's yoursI just know what it is.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
So right here c-sections this little baby's
gonna so.
Right here C-sections thislittle baby's gonna be right
here, Because I want to keep myjob.
Yeah, I'm gonna make this intomy FUPA, so I'm gonna go online.
Thank you, lord, for my FUPA.
Don't make it any bigger,because it's a nice size right
now.
Where I can, you know, hide it?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
All of of old Tim Hortons.
You know what I get that.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Say thank you, Lord, for my FUPA.
It's gonna be like bubbles.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Oh yeah, but then you gotta change the acronym for
our school.
Like what's FUPA?
Play dumb, like you don't knowwhat FUPA is, but you know what
you're talking about we gottamake something else.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, we gotta change the.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Yeah, but you can't really promote that at work, so
you gotta create it like aneducational fun, something,
something, program you know likemake it something inviting.
But in your mind you're, youknow you can walk by it every
day and get that snicker andthat little half grin like yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I love you, but listen, I'm telling you I'm a
great teacher because of my FUPA, because it keeps me humble in
the classroom.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
What's that song?
Stay humble, stay kind.
That's Kendrick Lamar.
Yeah, the good one.
I can't.
I don't know if I can everthink about you without thinking
about your poofa and yourhumbleness.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I'm big, we have no qualms here.
We just we share it all andthat's cool.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
We've probably gone off so much.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
But people can see that like teachers are like real
people too.
Oh god, we are real.
I mean, I have no shame in mygame, none at all.
But what were we talking aboutjust now?
I don't know, I know we do gooff tangent, but I've.
I've shared that on day one ofmy podcast.
I said I'm no, but yeah, I do,but no.
Then I go off tangent no matterwhat, where I'm at, who I'm
with's, you can only talk aboutone topic for a second without
(13:11):
jumping into 8,000 more.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
And then when people are like well, what were you
talking about?
Oh, no, what.
What were?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
you.
Well, we were talking aboutthat.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I'm an amazing teacher.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
And how you're fire and I fight for the underdog.
I love that you went right toyour podcast voice.
Yeah, so soothing and seductive.
I think you're taking your flatstomach to a whole new level.
I think you're channeling.
I just held it in, so I'mfeeling like yeah, I know, and
it's seductive and it's like,ooh, who's she channeling?
But did you hear me listen toit?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I don't know how sexy that was.
I just held it in gonna diedown, so I just gotta let it so,
uh, does she have a name?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
the other person we need to give her a name.
Yeah, all because of this youknow, like you know hey girl,
hey uh-oh, who pays that?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
hello welcome to my podcast episode so this is
ronette talking, this is foupeokay, I like it is.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
It's a beautiful way to french for extra tummy extra
loving in my oven.
Yes, there you go, yeah.
Yeah, see, we could do this allday long I love that topic
again.
Let me see what are yourquestions say no, but I did have
a.
Talked about a lot I do.
I have a question for you,because I'm not sure if you've
(14:29):
been asked this ever, but talkabout alopecia and talk about
your wigs.
Yeah, would you ever not wearone at work?
Could you ever see yourselfgetting to that point?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
makeup and all like fine I get asked that actually a
lot, do you?
My husband tells me every daybaby, just be free, you know
what I mean well, you talk abouthow You've seen me fall.
Yeah, be free.
Do I think that I am at a levelin my life that I'm ready to do
that?
No, I'm not there and it's notmore so.
Like like I'm embarrassed, it'sjust like, like wigs are
(15:01):
awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Like I just love, like you know, like different
hair different styles.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You Different hair, different styles.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
She has some cute ones, because I have my own
personal favorite, the bob.
The bob.
She's sexy.
That's when I see Foubet.
She got this whole differentlike bounce to her when she
wears it too and I'm like damn.
So I always have to make sure Icompliment her when I see her.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
But your bob was dope when you had it.
Remember, you had it when youwas blonde.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Oh yeah, yeah, like that was the dopest.
Do you know what's funny?
I just had a breakdown with myhairstylist because I would like
to go short.
Like shave, do an up top kindof like that soft mask level,
like the mom with the sex tablet.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Mom, what's her name?
Okay, no, that's just nasty.
That's kate.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
No, no, that's not a hairstyle no, no, no, no, I'll
show you afterwards like we'retalking hot.
I don't know what that was, butthanks, you can just ruin this
the whole moment.
I'm no, I'll show youafterwards Like we're talking
hot.
I don't know what that was, butthanks, you can just ruin this
whole moment.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
I'm just trying to.
No, I'll show you.
I'm trying to cut your hair off.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
It's just something I wanted.
Are you going to put yourearrings on?
Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, we'll getto that conversation next you
can put your earrings Talkingabout how it's just not really
possible because of my scar lineacross.
So everything is just so thinand there's so many scars and it
was frustrating to me, right.
So I'm having a moment becauseI'm triggered, which is fine,
(16:17):
Because I need to be triggered,I need to let it all go.
And she shows me pictures.
She's like well, what about?
And she was just trying to benice what about tattooing?
I was like listen, I appreciatethat, but I don't find that
sexy.
I don't connect to the amountof tattoo that this woman had
that she showed me.
I was like I teach also and Idon't think that's very
appealing or inviting.
Yeah, she's like well, whatabout when you speak across the
(16:38):
world?
I'm like I still don't.
I'm like I'm just telling youthat person out there looks hot.
I don't connect with it because, again, my scarline still will
show.
Yeah, and I was like, thank youfor that.
But then it kind of frustratedme more.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I was like, whatever this feeling is, feel it, listen
, you can get a wig to do it foryou.
Yeah, believe it or not, likethey create them where you can
get a short style to like yeahlike what you do do what I do,
just try it.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
That's a good thing to look into.
I will my biggest thing.
I'm a scratchy itcher.
Everything itches for me.
You take them out just middleof my day like hold on while I'm
driving halfway home.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
That's why I talked to god too oh menopause yeah, I
talked to him about menopause oh, you haven't hit that area yet.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
No, but we have to talk.
Yeah, you have to have thatconversation because have you
hit perimenopause?
They told me that I was likeclose you'll know I mean when
the fibroids start acting up,they told me listen, but my
fibroids acted up when I was 19and then at 30 they were like
you could get a hysterectomybecause you're basically in
perimenopause.
I'm like, oh, but I was.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I was like wasn't it just started right and I know
it's coming?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
yeah, but again.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
But again I had to talk to JC.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Yeah, jc has had some great conversations with us.
He's like now, what lesbianLike?
Listen, listen, poupee, what doyou want?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
You're not going to make me sweat on the top of my
head.
Oh yeah, I think you're goingto put me through some changes,
right.
But I can't rip my wig off inthe middle of class.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
You can't rip my wig off in the middle of class you
can't have my face wet, butmaybe, maybe that's what jc will
do to have you push yourselfout of that comfort zone but I
don't want to be pushed out ofthat jc.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Jc's listening, by the way, so he's like, oh, you
don't, I got you because one Ipaid a lot for the unit I got
out, so this is not to be takenoff, right I?
Get it, I get it like I, I mymy wigs are not bothersome to me
, no right, like I, just I lovethem.
But doing menopause?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
yeah, you're not gonna love it, I just need him
to not let that happen yeahthat's why I be talking to you,
yeah he's like okay, but I'mgonna teach you something,
though he's gonna teach you avaluable lesson somewhere he
already taught me with the fuparight, you know just carry that
bandana so you can just dab, dab, dab.
Yeah, that's all you need.
Oh, you see those new fans.
They have the neck fans thatare like powerful.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I saw it, so maybe you'll just be aligned and then
I'm hoping that he's like youknow what you're already hot I'm
not gonna make you feel hot,yeah he's like you're already.
Foupe is already on fire yeah,so I'm just you know, that's why
I talk we talk to too.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Our level is not the same as yours.
You've got a whole different.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
But I've been saying it for you.
What Like the vision?
Make it plain.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
I know, go home and write it down.
That's hilarious, hey.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
JC, what up?
Yeah, hey, don't make me sweaton my head.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No, I just early doctor, finally, before COVID.
So I was being naughty but Iwas like, let me just go because
I need to figure out if mycortisol is too high.
Because it was like a waking,but just in my stomach this year
, and I'm like, okay, Ifluctuate.
I've always fluctuated in mystomach, but this was like a hey
bam.
I'm like, oh, I mean, can youslide somewhere else?
(19:43):
Like to the booty.
Yeah, jc didn't care for that.
He said I got you.
So this lady was just sweet ascan be and I'm telling her all
my woes and I'm like, ugh.
She's like, oh, ok, well, justschedule more appointments.
Mamogram, internal ultrasound.
I'm like, oh, listen, you couldput a booty pad on?
No, I was like I could.
Could you imagine I'd be thegirl that walks and all of falls
(20:04):
out?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
you see, like panties , they're just you know, you're
just giving you.
Just I don't need a booty pad.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I like my little.
I actually love.
I've like grown to love mylittle booty.
See, there you go and like theother day I have.
The other day I had somethingon there's like booty shorts and
I was like, oh, I can squeezeit, I'm like see, I can't wear
booty shorts so you can do ityeah shorts and where I would
never be able to get away withthose what I think you could.
You could no People would belooking for the right reasons.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Thighs out, so Thick thighs save lives.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Exactly so.
Let them out.
Let them out to save lives.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I have to say mental life work.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Oh, I'm talking about after hours, like after school.
Let Foufey wear the bootythighs.
Now you got me saying all short, what am I saying?
Booty shorts, let Foufay wearthem after hours.
You're out of school, whatabout?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
listen, I get down after school, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
I don't get to see you often at the school no one
really sees me, I know.
I know you still dress rawtoday for me yeah, but this will
be me outside of school.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Old Navy summer dress outside of school oh yeah, I'm
a mom.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
So I'm still like careful with it.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
You still carry Jesus right there?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Yes, right there, Listen, I told you me.
And JC.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I know.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Me and G like we got a different you know, like
relationship.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
I say the same thing.
I'm like I'm pretty cool, I gotmy spirits.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
And I know when I have something on that.
Yeah, maybe I shouldn't,because my husband where you
going.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Oh see, when he asked it.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
now, you know, I'm like baby, look okay, where you
about to go with that on.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
So you know, that's when I know, yeah, you're like
to the front door to get themail to come back in.
Hey, do you change after that,or?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
are you still?
Where are you going, vince?
I'm all covered up, yeah, butthat booty to my husband you're
like, babe, I can't do anythingabout the booty.
Yeah, it's there you're lookingall thick going out the house.
This is me did not sound likehim he did.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I love his old man.
His old man chat, he's guy heis.
I love that he came into yourlife.
But that's because you had aconversation with Jaycee and
Jaycee said you've gone throughwar back and I've got you.
He loves me with my hair offand that's why I appreciate he's
learned how to clean my wig,See that's.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
He's learned how to clean like the glue and stuff
off of my units like that's areal man.
That's a real man yeah, that'struly a real man like if I'm
like exhausted, he's like justgive it to me, I'll do it so
wait, let me ask you this.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah, because I know you didn't just hand it over
when he said let me clean it.
I know you had to give him theboot camp of a week's worth of
like lessons.
Oh no, because you're you'revery particular too.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, how to do it.
Um, that you know.
Now he knows how to do it.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Perfect and it's nothing yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
And you know I've always walked around my kids
like with my hair off.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Because I just wanted them to be comfortable with it.
So I know people with alopecia,whose spouses have never seen
their hair.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Really yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Like I know, like women who never ever like seen
it.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
But I want I women who never, ever seen it.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
But I, I want, I always wanted my kids to know
that this is mommy.
Yeah, and my husband now knowslike this is mommy.
You know where you're notliking me because of what I look
like or loving me yeah, because, like my heart, and people just
don't understand that it's theheart of people oh yeah to segue
back, which makes us an amazinglike teaching set yeah, it's
like oh, heart and soul.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Heart, yeah, heart and soul has always been me.
I've lived my life and nothing,if anything, even with the
healing and unhealed version, Istill was led by heart and soul
yeah that never changed.
Yeah oh yeah.
Healing isn't linear, it'snever gonna go away.
You're, you're, I mean.
I'm not sitting here and sayingI want, want to be healed and
we still hurt, right God yeah.
(23:52):
It's still okay to not be okay,yeah, yeah, because new things
come up and it's like I could bedoing all this work and all of
a sudden, something I never sawcoming from my past just hits me
.
I'm like what the oh?
You think I'm ready for this?
Like that's that conversation,was that okay?
So, going back, you weretalking about how you'd like to
be free for your kids to see,have them see you in, and that's
(24:13):
great, because I got a littledistracted by the crazy squirrel
.
So now that we're back and wewere talking about your children
seeing you in all of your glory, your righteous, beautiful
glory, they're obviously okaywith everything.
Do they ever ask you questionsof fear of the future or do you
just?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
no, talk to them about no, because I've always
been very, very open, okay, um,about alopecia, so like when
they were babies I purposelywould not have my hair on, just
so they're comfortable.
Yeah, so you know, I will tellthem stories of things that I've
been through.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
They know like we all have stuff going on, just keep
pushing so and also to know thatspreading awareness and
spreading kindness, that itmatters what you say to people,
your friends, anyone like thathas an effect.
And that's what I always teachwith my nephews is this is what
I went through.
You don't want to be thatperson that you.
You know.
My nephew, my one nephew, he isthe greatest, especially with
(25:10):
kids with disabilities.
He'll always jump out, help mein any way and that came
naturally.
He came to all our, a lot ofour special olympics practices
when he was really little and hehigh-fived him during practice
and he's just that aware and hehe understands that bullying
happens, but but he doesn't havea tendency to be mean too, like
on the other kids.
And I remind them like, hey,what you just said, snapping off
it hurts people you may notthink it does, but it's going to
(25:33):
have an impact on somebody.
So be careful, because you'rebasically projecting whatever it
is you're feeling right now.
So if you're going throughsomething, share that.
Yeah, don't keep it bottled inkids are so different nowadays
and I think a lot of it's thesocial media and the technology.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Parents just have to do a better job of like hugging
and loving their kids, yeah likethat's oh god yeah, problem,
you know what I mean.
Like normalize telling your kidI love you.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Normalize just walking in their room boys and
girls, because I think peopleforget boys need to hear that
just as much as girls do.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Yeah like I tell my son all the time, like your
superpower is your brain.
You, you know, my daughter, youare so talented Because you
have to speak life.
I've had to speak life into mysituations.
You have to speak life intoyour students.
I have to speak life into theclassroom.
I have to speak life into ourESY program.
You know what I mean?
Just just, I have to speak lifeinto this podcast.
Watch what you say.
(26:25):
Yeah so and I told you know likemy story on and and how does it
feel to be able to share that?
But I don't feel depleted, Idon't feel nervous, like I just
feel I'm chilling.
You know what I mean, like Ican't control it.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
No, so why fight that world of control?
Yeah, and that's what I saidearlier is I don't want to be
the victim.
I want to be the hero of my ownstory, because I'm the writer,
I'm the creator, I'm thedirector of my story.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
And I don't ask about you know, like I don't even,
I'm not even at the point whereI'm like.
God, can you bring my hair back, like after 28 years, like
people don't understand thatit's not that.
I don't have the faith.
It's just not my priority.
This is just me.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Surgeries.
Someone asked me.
They're like would you everstart your surgery?
Why?
I said my biggest struggle wasevery time I asked for a surgery
it changed how I looked, whichmeant that it changed how I felt
about myself, which I wasalready struggling with.
So then, therefore, now I haveto start over, I go.
Who wants that life?
Why am I chasing?
I attract, I don't chase.
I don't need to chase for aface.
I got to love me, I got to like,chase myself, and that's
(27:34):
non-existent because it's not myreality.
My reality is right here,present this moment.
So if I can't get a hold ofthis and love all this, then I'm
just gonna be chasing for therest of my life and jc jc's
always gonna be holding thatcarrot like come on, you want to
do that life?
Then, when you run yourselfragged until you're so depleted,
I don't want that life, no,thank you.
So I had to take a pausebecause my friend had to take a
(27:58):
very important phone call, so weended up having to delete that
entire section which we kind oftalked about basically her
husband going into a program forthe Golden Apple Accelerant and
how proud we were of him, andbasically we kind of just jumped
to a new segment of learningand how we learn on our own and
(28:18):
not always being the crutch forother people, in the sense of
you have to let people do thethings they need to do on their
own, which then brings us intothe next part of the podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
enjoy yeah, and it's just like thinking outside box,
like that's what teaching is allthe time.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Trust your intuition outside the box?
Speaker 2 (28:39):
yep, what would be the best way?
I will learn this exactly youcan't be afraid to laugh, you
can't be afraid to, you know Idance.
Yeah, you know me do a little acount, can't be afraid to reach
back into those things thatmade you happy.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
You know like as a child, creating a song, to
memorize something, to memorizethe formula.
Yeah, we did all that last year.
But that's what I loved aboutlast year.
It's kind of it brought me backinto it.
It's like a reminder and it wasfun because that was just a
refresher for you.
Yeah, like you repeat cycles,love it again.
For yeah, exactly because noteverything has to be repeated
cycle where it's like, okay, youmissed a lesson, but more so of
(29:14):
a reflection of, okay, this iswhat you used to enjoy.
Like you need that back in yourlife and that's why I think mr
t and everyone came into my lifeafter that, because I was doing
that work, that received thoseblessings, because it was a
blessing to have that man waltzinto that classroom because he
was, I mean, oh, phenomenal, andwith me I just how can?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I put it I don't want to bore myself, do you?
Speaker 1 (29:35):
don't want to bore yourself.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I have to keep it you know, fresh every day and plus,
I get so much joy when I seelike their light bulbs go off
where they get it.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I've walked into your classroom a couple times and
witnessed that.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
That's why I love watching you teach.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
It's like thank God, and I just it's so hard to
describe, because it's beyondjoy, because it, like it, lights
up within you like yeah and Ididn't, like, even during covid,
like I didn't hate teaching,like I love what I do yeah but I
also know that I'm beingelevated to do something else
and I just have to be patient.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
So with me working with Golden Apple, I knew that I
always wanted to help otherteachers and other educators
become better teachers.
So me being a part of theirmentor, that mentoring program,
that now I get to go and watchother teachers in their element
and help them to develop intotheir best selves.
So I'm actually looking forwardto like that next chapter and I
(30:35):
just got like my acceptanceemail, so I'm actually looking
forward to like that nextchapter and I just got like my
acceptance email.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
So will this next chapter, will it be sporadic, or
do you see yourself in the longrun making that more permanent?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Probably making it permanent.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
And leaving the teaching.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I don't know, you know like.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I can.
I know it's a scary questionbecause it is, but I can see
like doing something on the side.
Okay, you know what I mean, yeahlike doing something on the
side, okay, I mean, yeah, well,that's kind of what I want to do
is eventually, you know,motivational speaking, I writing
my books.
I want to eventually leave theteaching experience, but it's
not for anything that likebecause I hate it.
It's just that when you know,you know and like I know that my
(31:11):
creative passions are like onfire and I know that I wasn't
even aware of these gifts before.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
And now that?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I have them, it's like I keep building on them and
I love that I'm learning, likeI'm teaching myself, and that's
that kind of light bulb that youjust that spark that's like,
okay, use this, let's not justsit on it, but I feel it.
I just know it's about timingand so I trust it too, because
before I was like, okay, I'mgonna give myself a time limit
three years.
Why?
Why do that to yourself?
because you're limiting yourselfyeah there's things you need to
(31:38):
learn and jc's already paying aton to raise like oh, you said
three years, you put it, you puta demand.
No, I didn't.
Now it's like it'll happen whenit's supposed to happen.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah, and like I knew that this, like I wanted to do
this next level with helpingincoming teachers, because with
golden apple they do somethingcalled scholarly institutes this
summer and that's for theteachers or like college
students in their program thatthey go through like this
extensive training right, ohyeah but I was able to be a
(32:08):
speaker at lake forest andnorthern college and I remember
my topic was debunking the mythsof working with diverse
learners and it was standingroom.
Only, you know, in mysymposiums, Right.
Like they, I had like greatevaluations and the students
(32:30):
just walked away because I wasmy authentic self.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
And I was talking to them.
It was like it fired them up.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
So people from Golden Apple call me a lesbian.
I was talking to them, it waslike it fired them up.
So people from Golden Applecall me it loves me.
Everybody wants to be in yourclan and I'm just like, but this
is what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
But you want to be on that level with them.
That's the thing I think peopleforget, remember, because we
wear so many hats.
It's like who should I be forthese people?
It's like no, I'm not trying tolike, I don't need to sell you,
because if I have to sell you,that means I'm overselling
myself and I'm becomingsomething I'm not.
I'm giving you a version ofmyself that doesn't truly exist.
I'm just.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
I just I only know how to be me.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Yeah, exactly.
Like there are multiple levelsof me, yes, but you're going to
get them all in one sitting, andthat's what I love about this
part, whereas before I thinkshaming yourself and knowing
like, okay, I'm totally being aversion that I don't want to be.
When people told me fake ittill you make it, I don't know
how to fake it.
I can't fake things.
(33:25):
Like I mask so much of my lifethat was faking it and that
almost killed me.
Why do you think I want to fakeit till I make it?
I'm never going to make it then, because I'm lying to myself
and I'm putting that energy outthere in the world of just lies.
Yeah, I can't, and it's so muchharder now, like when you, when
you're around people, you feelthey're lying, you're like I
don't know how to connect withthat, because I was that before.
(33:47):
So I hold space, but I justcan't.
I can't sit and listen to thisanymore, you know, it's like
someone's food feeding me bs.
Yeah, I don't want that.
It's just no part of it.
And that's where my brain issometimes with the politicians,
the politics of education.
Here these kids matter.
There's so much we could bedoing for these kids.
There's so much money, there'sso many people you could hire.
(34:09):
Why don't we hire grant writersto supplement for the things
that we need for these kids?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
And then just administrators just got to trust
the teachers.
Yes, you know, I don't need anew you know strategy introduced
every three days, like no,that's because, yeah, like SQ3R,
I will never forget that youknow in school.
You know what I mean.
But it was just a way that weorganized information and I just
(34:34):
think that you know, we justhave to get to the point that we
have to just stay withsomething and let that work.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
And it's not going to happen overnight.
Oh, every year we change it.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Practice where but we don't.
We have no idea if this oneworks.
We we gave this strategy 12seconds.
Yeah, we need some more time.
Like you have to develop, andif you're always changing, you
know, every 30 seconds, we can'tsee if anything worked.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
we have no data to compare it to.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Let me do give me a semester yeah, you know, a year.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
It's about consistency.
Consistency and holding peopleaccountable.
Fine, if you don't feel youcan't trust a teacher that says
something about you and thatteacher that you need to have a
conversation with, not put allof us in one glass jar and say,
okay, you're all messing it up,so let's change jesus.
Ready, jc?
Speaker 2 (35:27):
we're both asking this fix it, jesus well on that
level.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I know that you do need to get going soon, but I
really wanted to say thank youfor this absolutely.
I truly enjoyed.
I didn't know what you weregoing to say when I put it out
there.
I was like you know what I wantto ask her.
And it wasn't even because Iwas like, oh, we'll talk about
alopecia or something.
It was just because I was likeyou know what she needs to just
come sit down with me.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
But I think that this was good for me too.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
It's divinely aligned , yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
I'm comfortable talking about it.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
And I love that you freely spoke about it before
even me even bringing it up.
But what I'm going to do, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
It's not like a strain coming up anytime you
know what I mean yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
There's no like magic buttons.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
No, you just learn how to buy the right eyebrow
pencil, you learn how to buy theright type of lashes and you
get you a bomb haircut.
And then I keep going and Ikeep moving.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
I cannot let alopecia ran my life so much.
Yeah, that now I do it when Iwant to, and that's how I'm
going to do it Because I can'teven answer for me.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Like obviously I had cruise on since I was born, so
like I lived with it.
But it was true, though, whenpuberty hit in seventh grade, it
fucked me in the worst waypossible, because emotions I'm
already a sensitive person.
I was a beautiful, sensitiveperson then.
Like I just saw joy and loveand light, and everyone,
everyone was a damn rainbow anda unicorn to me, because I just
felt that I was like aninternalized care bearer.
(36:49):
So then puberty hit andeverything became dark, yeah,
you know, and it was slow motionand I was like you could see
the joy leaving me, you couldsee the love leaving and I.
I saw it and I hated it becauseit was.
It was almost like you'repulling a tug of war and you're
pulling, but you can see thatthe other person now there's
like 10 people on there and onlyone of you and you're just
slowly letting go of the rope.
You're like damn it.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Yeah, I can look at pictures and tell like this was
a really bad moment in my life.
Yeah, and then I look atpictures now and like I see
peace yeah so my takeaway fromjust even with this podcast, you
know, it's just protect yourpeace.
Yes, you know things that arenot going to bring me pour back
into yourself.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I don't want to, I don't want any parts of it,
exactly you know, and I don'tfeel shame about that you know,
like when you were talking abouthow your, your group was small,
I look at that now as that's mylife is because protecting my
peace also, I can't fake that, Ican't be something, that I'm
not with you.
And you know like obviously Idon't drink anymore.
So I don't know if that justmeans people stop asking me to
(37:50):
invite me out because they thinkthat that's gonna bother me
like none of that bothers me,but your life has gone on, you
know yeah you know exactly likeI.
I can be in those moments and befine with it.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
It's not something I'm like oh god, I miss that me
finding peace is me sitting inmy loft watching Bridgerton when
no one interrupting me.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
That's the key.
No one interrupting you.
I'm okay with that.
Mine is literally a blanketsitting up against a tree
listening to a book on tape ormy music or writing.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
But mine is swinging in, my egg swing.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Your egg swing.
Mm-hmm, wait, what's an egg?
Speaker 2 (38:26):
swing.
You know the swing that kind oflooks like an egg.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
No, but I don't like hammocks it's like a hammock
okay but it's like the circle,oh, kind of like a, uh, like a
birdcage, yeah, okay, yeah, thatwould be so.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
You saw my video that I posted.
I was in that over the weekendand I was in georgia and I was
just swinging yeah, and I waslike this is my hat yes, because
you could do it for hours andnot even know.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
I went by, I was in.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Menards and I saw the patio swing.
So you're like don't, but I satthere and I was swinging.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Who doesn't?
I mean, come on, go to Bed,Bath Beyond.
Who's not going to try thislittle bed and be like I'm going
to just cozy up and see if?
Speaker 2 (39:01):
I like it.
It's too high so I can't do bedbaths.
They don't have enough dealsfor me, True.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, I got mine off of Amazon.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
There we go.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Amazon Say that I got my bed.
I got the new one where it's Idon't know what it's called Nest
something.
It's a blanket, no, it's a bed.
Oh.
But I needed something.
Mine was too hard, oh.
So I got one that kind of likemolds into you, yeah.
Then I got 900 pillows and afull body pillow.
Yeah, my husband hates thepillows.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
He's like what's the point?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
I'm like they just look so nice.
Well, no, you should see meLike I got cooler, like coolant.
So one side's cool and oneside's warm.
Those pillows are phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Amazon, amazon.
You gotta send me the link.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Oh, see you trying to make me shy.
Oh my bad.
Well, this is the gift I keepon giving.
This is for Foupe, All right.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
With that being said, again, thank you so much, my
lesby, lesby, lesby Thank you somuch for inviting me.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
This was amazing.
Oh, that sounded like Foupesaid goodbye.
This was amazing.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
And, with that being said, thank you all for joining
me on another episode ofInfinite Love.
Bye.
Okay, back at it again.
Just as I promised, part two ofInfinite Love with Kate, with
my special guest, ronetteLesby-Brown If you've been
following, you're going to enjoyanother long episode of an
interview we had Eh, it's noteven an interview, a
conversation we were having backand forth of two people just
(00:21):
kicking it, talking about life,talking about growth and healing
, talking about our bodies andself-love.
But if you're new to this, Irecommend that you go back to
part one and enjoy.
And also, if you are new tothis or you're returning, I
appreciate your love and supportbecause obviously I know I've
been on a hiatus and thisinterview, or duet, took place
(00:45):
over the summer prior to mefinding out that.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I had to have a hysterectomy.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
So you're going to hear a lot of heavy breathing.
I apologize, it is what it is.
I tried to do the best editingI could, but we also found a
glitch in our microphones duringit and it really wasn't worth
paying all the extra moneybecause they said they couldn't
do much for it.
So with the time that I had off, I did the research that I
could and did the best editing Icould.
(01:11):
You can adjust your volume allyou want.
Bear with me.
I hope you still enjoy it,because it is definitely worth
listening to the humor, thebanter, the love, the respect
for each other.
And also stay tuned for what'scoming in the next few weeks, as
I finally regain my strengthback on my feet, back at work,
trying to balance life and alsojump back into the creative
(01:35):
world for what's to come forseason five.
So enjoy as we jump back intothe conversation, talking about
self-reflection in our cars andwhere that takes us.
That is my newest thing thisyear.
That that's my beautifulreflection.
Like I'm taking that breath I'mtaking as if I have chaos
coming in here this house isfine, though it is up, like you
(01:57):
know but I'm grateful, and I'mgrateful for my home part, yeah,
I take my seatbelt off.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah, I get that left leg sit it up.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
So now, I got one leg up, one leg down and then I'm
scrolling yeah on my phone and I.
But while I'm doing that, I'mtalking to myself, reflecting
myself how grateful I am.
I'm like man, today was trying,but today was awesome.
It ended on a good note, orthis is all mine.
Yeah, I'm grateful for what Imean, like I've lived there for
I don't know, 14 years, 13 years, think, you know.
(02:25):
I love it because every dayI'll be out there for 20 minutes
to 40 minutes forgetting sogood.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Good Now that self care.
Yes, oh, yeah I personallydon't do that great of a job
with self care, but like gettingmy hair done is therapeutic,
that's self care right, eventhough it costs so much yeah, if
you guys know people that youknow want to.
You know, get some free wigs,yes you know, uh, yes, I'm out
here just saying right, becauseI spent a grip for my hair, but
(02:54):
I have an amazing hairstylistthat it's an art form for her
right and I love it.
But that self-care for me, yeah, when you get up and you do
your makeup every day, I dobecause it makes me feel
beautiful.
It's self-care for me, yeah,when you get up and you do your
makeup every day, I do becauseit makes me feel beautiful.
It's self-care for me and youknow, I'll do my face and I
don't even wear foundation,Right?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
It's just, I like putting on my lashes and I like
a cute, shiny lip gloss.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
She does love her lip gloss.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yes, and I love my lip bar, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Lipstick yeah, stays on all day right, but it's just
little things like that aretherapeutic.
Me shopping on amazon what didyou see it?
I've been, you know, for mytrip, and every day is five, six
packages.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I'm like I gotta stop I know my cart has like 357 000
things I know and I put them onhold.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Am I, do I?
I always ask myself do I needit it, do I desire it?
Or is this just greed?
But everyone's?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
not thinking they'd be slick right.
It'd be like there are items inyour cart that has a price
change.
And it'd be like oh, it wentfrom $19.99 to $19.98.
You think I'm come on, I'mgoing to need to.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Well, that's why I got addicted to TikTok shop.
Talk about price cutting.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I've never ordered off a TikTok shop.
Okay, careful, I'm alwaysafraid.
Oh, I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Everything comes right away.
I mean not as fast as obviouslyAmazon.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
But see, that's my problem.
I don't like waiting.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Well, if you don't mind waiting and you like, the
price cuts.
But what's the wait?
A couple days?
Oh okay, it just depends onwhere it's coming from.
It'll tell you too before yousay okay.
But yeah, tiktok shop.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yes, tiktok shop.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yeah, like some things are like $4.99.
I'm like what, really?
Yeah, I just got like anAvroler, one of those things
that you land around.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
I bought the stepper machine for my booty and my fast
.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
But here's the thing, right, you use it.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
So my mind, and my body are like enemies.
You know my song, whatever Ihave for them to be friends.
Oh god, because my mind is likeyou can do it right, but my
body like girl.
You don't put that space on.
And it sucked you in and keephow do you?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I've probably a one handful times worn space.
I can't breathe.
I wear a girdle every day.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
One.
I don't want to jiggle.
I don't want my booty jigglingin my summer dresses and my
clothes, like that's just.
I keep it all together.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You do, but I you're talking the corset from way back
in Bridgerton's era you love itI know you would have been,
whereas I would have been betteroff as a dude in a tuxedo,
because I could pull that vibeoff, but shonda needs to call me
like she does be an extra.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Oh, maybe we could do that.
I just want to.
Just I just want to be in adress and like the wigs and okay
yeah, that would never.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I would never.
I would have on titanic, Iwould have just jumped.
I would be like, screw it, ohno, take me, take me right to
the bottom.
I would have been floating onboo.
No, with that corset I wouldjump and go down.
Go down with the ship.
No, that's just not my, I can't.
These are the little signs thatI should have always picked up
on.
And how gay I was as a child.
Because one hated wearingdresses, hated it.
(05:58):
We always wore dresses,everything.
Put me in a white dress for afamily picnic every year.
Come out of that forestpreserve, had to tow in dirt
because I was like a rough riderand just had to be the tomboy
that just rolled down, explore.
And yeah, I could.
I mean I look good in a dress.
I mean I definitely.
There's a couple pictures I wasshowing work.
Yeah, I was feeling it.
If that's the important part, Iwas like, damn, you can't put
(06:21):
me back in those dresses, I I'llpull it off, but I just no, not
comfortable.
Once I realized, especially thelast year, my comfortability of
my fit and I loved that part ofme is like coming into my body
and knowing what I like and whatI feel good in.
I was like, oh okay, I'mgetting there.
I love to see that growth likemy personal validation.
When I get to validate myself,I'm like, yeah, I'm really
(06:41):
feeling that myself, myself, I'mlike I'm really feeling that
myself.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
All right, yeah, I've been thinking those thoughts.
Yes me, I throw a dress on.
Yeah, I throw jeans on.
I'll do dragon pants on.
Yeah, it just, I just go with.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
However, I feel that yeah, and then you see me at
work and, uh, joggers every day.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
You're like that's what she's feeling listen,
listen, it's you right, it is methough it is me, yes, like
honest self, like it is totallyoh yeah like me.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And then like, when I get to dress up, like that was
the part I was learning.
So when I got to dress up forthat cruise this year, that's
the stuff I've been envisioning,but not knowing what to how to
put it together.
And then when we said let's doa sneaker ball, I was like, oh,
my god, thank you universe,you're giving me that
opportunity of how I want toexpress myself.
And I loved it, maybe just alittle bit of that tummy wave,
(07:28):
but I was like, oh crap, I'mhitting the 44, menopausing time
to get all that checked out,but I still loved it.
I was like, damn alright, andyou felt good about it.
Oh, and I already have it in myhead like, okay, okay, a lot of
this year I wore blazers.
I was like yeah, I like this.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I feel it.
You did wear a lot of blazers,yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I liked it, I was loving that, I felt comfortable
in it, which I never did before.
You ever have those days.
I remember a lot in high schooland college where nothing fit
right and you were just like I'mnot going anywhere, I'm just
not doing it.
My clothes, my body was justlike okay, I did not have that
luxury, I just but it was, itwas me.
(08:09):
It was the insecurity though Ithink of I don't know how I
identify anything with.
I mean, it would be sotraumatic where I was like I
can't go out.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I knew not to go out I mean, that's how I felt with
my hair, like yeah it's onestrand was out of place, like
life was over yeah, it's justI'm not but I couldn't
understand.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
You know, like I couldn't understand what it was,
though that was making me souncomfortable, I'd see the image
in the mirror.
I was like, no, this doesn'tfit right, or I don't fit right,
you know.
But I was not anywhere nearconnected to my body as I am now
.
So I'm like, oh, it makes sense.
20 years later, you're like Iwish you could jump back in your
life and be like little girl.
You're going to be okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Like I am thick, shapely, I like it right.
This fupa, it's here, it's notgoing anywhere.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
And.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I spank it up, I girdle it up, but listen, god
knows, he can't make my stomachflat.
Yeah, I wouldn't have a job,right, like I would be that girl
.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
You wouldn't, no, no.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
I.
What do you want?
You want me to teach, not today.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
You're like I'm doing something else, something else,
what, like?
Everything would be crap.
So god knows like.
And then we're gonna go back tojay-z, jay-z, jay-z's, like
girl, we can't give you a flatstomach.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
We already saw your future but I cannot make it too
flat.
You're going to act out and Ican't even get mad at him
because I know he's telling thetruth.
Yeah, he is, because I'mtelling him what I'm gonna do,
like I already have visuals ofwhat I would do take it off four
days in a row.
Yes, my stomach I'm doingthings over here, but don't you
(09:38):
worry, I'm making my own moneythe days that I am here, because
when I am here I'm gonna do anamazing job, amazing job.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
You're like, speaking of that, I got like 160 days
saved up, so you leave me alone,but when it's a good stomach
day.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
See you tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
But God knows that.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, he does Jesus, he saw.
He's like honey, I already sawyour future life, he did.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
So he said I'm going to give you this little pooch
where, yeah, I'd say, okay, youknow what I mean, and you know,
I gotta be humble.
In my garden you can't do toomuch because I still gotta
breathe.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Oh yeah, that's why, but he knows me.
No, when you go home, you letall that out, right?
yeah, listen first of all, whenI go home, I like to be free
yeah, free, free I'm free Ithink we uh, I won't share the
story, but I think you had toldme a story that you fell asleep
one time, too free.
You forgot free.
But no, you forgot you were.
It was like a nap.
You didn't expect to fallasleep and the family came home
because I'm free, yeah they'relike you're having like uh man,
(10:31):
you might want to go in the.
You know the bedroom don't befree let me be me right.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, of course that's how it is.
But you know, I, like I toldyou me and jesus got this
understanding like he, he knewsome things he just can't give
me.
He can make me an amazingteacher, but he know he can't
give me a flat stomach, becauseI can be amazing with a flat
stomach.
You know, I'm not going to be aword.
I'm not going to know where togo, I wouldn't even know what to
do.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I just need to read.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
If my stomach was that flat Look in my trunk, the
sports bra on and some leggingsand shorts Like I just I know my
level of ignorance.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Like I know though.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Like though, yeah, like I'm gonna be a fashion.
No, no accountability.
Yeah, my pajamas.
I'm gonna be a fashion over mylike all the time my level of
ignorance would be so bad.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah, so we see you everywhere.
What billboards and all listenlike be like somebody don't stop
her, let her go but I know yeah, so that's why claim it.
You gotta claim it, it's yoursI just know what it is.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
So right here c-sections this little baby's
gonna so.
Right here C-sections thislittle baby's gonna be right
here, Because I want to keep myjob.
Yeah, I'm gonna make this intomy FUPA, so I'm gonna go online.
Thank you, lord, for my FUPA.
Don't make it any bigger,because it's a nice size right
now.
Where I can, you know, hide it?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
All of of old Tim Hortons.
You know what I get that.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Say thank you, Lord, for my FUPA.
It's gonna be like bubbles.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Oh yeah, but then you gotta change the acronym for
our school.
Like what's FUPA?
Play dumb, like you don't knowwhat FUPA is, but you know what
you're talking about we gottamake something else.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, we gotta change the.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Yeah, but you can't really promote that at work, so
you gotta create it like aneducational fun, something,
something, program you know likemake it something inviting.
But in your mind you're, youknow you can walk by it every
day and get that snicker andthat little half grin like yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I love you, but listen, I'm telling you I'm a
great teacher because of my FUPA, because it keeps me humble in
the classroom.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
What's that song?
Stay humble, stay kind.
That's Kendrick Lamar.
Yeah, the good one.
I can't.
I don't know if I can everthink about you without thinking
about your poofa and yourhumbleness.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I'm big, we have no qualms here.
We just we share it all andthat's cool.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
We've probably gone off so much.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
But people can see that like teachers are like real
people too.
Oh god, we are real.
I mean, I have no shame in mygame, none at all.
But what were we talking aboutjust now?
I don't know, I know we do gooff tangent, but I've.
I've shared that on day one ofmy podcast.
I said I'm no, but yeah, I do,but no.
Then I go off tangent no matterwhat, where I'm at, who I'm
with's, you can only talk aboutone topic for a second without
(13:11):
jumping into 8,000 more.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
And then when people are like well, what were you
talking about?
Oh, no, what.
What were?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
you.
Well, we were talking aboutthat.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I'm an amazing teacher.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
And how you're fire and I fight for the underdog.
I love that you went right toyour podcast voice.
Yeah, so soothing and seductive.
I think you're taking your flatstomach to a whole new level.
I think you're channeling.
I just held it in, so I'mfeeling like yeah, I know, and
it's seductive and it's like,ooh, who's she channeling?
But did you hear me listen toit?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I don't know how sexy that was.
I just held it in gonna diedown, so I just gotta let it so,
uh, does she have a name?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
the other person we need to give her a name.
Yeah, all because of this youknow, like you know hey girl,
hey uh-oh, who pays that?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
hello welcome to my podcast episode so this is
ronette talking, this is foupeokay, I like it is.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
It's a beautiful way to french for extra tummy extra
loving in my oven.
Yes, there you go, yeah.
Yeah, see, we could do this allday long I love that topic
again.
Let me see what are yourquestions say no, but I did have
a.
Talked about a lot I do.
I have a question for you,because I'm not sure if you've
(14:29):
been asked this ever, but talkabout alopecia and talk about
your wigs.
Yeah, would you ever not wearone at work?
Could you ever see yourselfgetting to that point?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
makeup and all like fine I get asked that actually a
lot, do you?
My husband tells me every daybaby, just be free, you know
what I mean well, you talk abouthow You've seen me fall.
Yeah, be free.
Do I think that I am at a levelin my life that I'm ready to do
that?
No, I'm not there and it's notmore so.
Like like I'm embarrassed, it'sjust like, like wigs are
(15:01):
awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Like I just love, like you know, like different
hair different styles.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You Different hair, different styles.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
She has some cute ones, because I have my own
personal favorite, the bob.
The bob.
She's sexy.
That's when I see Foubet.
She got this whole differentlike bounce to her when she
wears it too and I'm like damn.
So I always have to make sure Icompliment her when I see her.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
But your bob was dope when you had it.
Remember, you had it when youwas blonde.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Oh yeah, yeah, like that was the dopest.
Do you know what's funny?
I just had a breakdown with myhairstylist because I would like
to go short.
Like shave, do an up top kindof like that soft mask level,
like the mom with the sex tablet.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Mom, what's her name?
Okay, no, that's just nasty.
That's kate.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
No, no, that's not a hairstyle no, no, no, no, I'll
show you afterwards like we'retalking hot.
I don't know what that was, butthanks, you can just ruin this
the whole moment.
I'm no, I'll show youafterwards Like we're talking
hot.
I don't know what that was, butthanks, you can just ruin this
whole moment.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
I'm just trying to.
No, I'll show you.
I'm trying to cut your hair off.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
It's just something I wanted.
Are you going to put yourearrings on?
Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, we'll getto that conversation next you
can put your earrings Talkingabout how it's just not really
possible because of my scar lineacross.
So everything is just so thinand there's so many scars and it
was frustrating to me, right.
So I'm having a moment becauseI'm triggered, which is fine,
(16:17):
Because I need to be triggered,I need to let it all go.
And she shows me pictures.
She's like well, what about?
And she was just trying to benice what about tattooing?
I was like listen, I appreciatethat, but I don't find that
sexy.
I don't connect to the amountof tattoo that this woman had
that she showed me.
I was like I teach also and Idon't think that's very
appealing or inviting.
Yeah, she's like well, whatabout when you speak across the
(16:38):
world?
I'm like I still don't.
I'm like I'm just telling youthat person out there looks hot.
I don't connect with it because, again, my scarline still will
show.
Yeah, and I was like, thank youfor that.
But then it kind of frustratedme more.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I was like, whatever this feeling is, feel it, listen
, you can get a wig to do it foryou.
Yeah, believe it or not, likethey create them where you can
get a short style to like yeahlike what you do do what I do,
just try it.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
That's a good thing to look into.
I will my biggest thing.
I'm a scratchy itcher.
Everything itches for me.
You take them out just middleof my day like hold on while I'm
driving halfway home.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
That's why I talked to god too oh menopause yeah, I
talked to him about menopause oh, you haven't hit that area yet.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
No, but we have to talk.
Yeah, you have to have thatconversation because have you
hit perimenopause?
They told me that I was likeclose you'll know I mean when
the fibroids start acting up,they told me listen, but my
fibroids acted up when I was 19and then at 30 they were like
you could get a hysterectomybecause you're basically in
perimenopause.
I'm like, oh, but I was.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I was like wasn't it just started right and I know
it's coming?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
yeah, but again.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
But again I had to talk to JC.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Yeah, jc has had some great conversations with us.
He's like now, what lesbianLike?
Listen, listen, poupee, what doyou want?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
You're not going to make me sweat on the top of my
head.
Oh yeah, I think you're goingto put me through some changes,
right.
But I can't rip my wig off inthe middle of class.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
You can't rip my wig off in the middle of class you
can't have my face wet, butmaybe, maybe that's what jc will
do to have you push yourselfout of that comfort zone but I
don't want to be pushed out ofthat jc.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Jc's listening, by the way, so he's like, oh, you
don't, I got you because one Ipaid a lot for the unit I got
out, so this is not to be takenoff, right I?
Get it, I get it like I, I mymy wigs are not bothersome to me
, no right, like I, just I lovethem.
But doing menopause?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
yeah, you're not gonna love it, I just need him
to not let that happen yeahthat's why I be talking to you,
yeah he's like okay, but I'mgonna teach you something,
though he's gonna teach you avaluable lesson somewhere he
already taught me with the fuparight, you know just carry that
bandana so you can just dab, dab, dab.
Yeah, that's all you need.
Oh, you see those new fans.
They have the neck fans thatare like powerful.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I saw it, so maybe you'll just be aligned and then
I'm hoping that he's like youknow what you're already hot I'm
not gonna make you feel hot,yeah he's like you're already.
Foupe is already on fire yeah,so I'm just you know, that's why
I talk we talk to too.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Our level is not the same as yours.
You've got a whole different.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
But I've been saying it for you.
What Like the vision?
Make it plain.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
I know, go home and write it down.
That's hilarious, hey.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
JC, what up?
Yeah, hey, don't make me sweaton my head.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No, I just early doctor, finally, before COVID.
So I was being naughty but Iwas like, let me just go because
I need to figure out if mycortisol is too high.
Because it was like a waking,but just in my stomach this year
, and I'm like, okay, Ifluctuate.
I've always fluctuated in mystomach, but this was like a hey
bam.
I'm like, oh, I mean, can youslide somewhere else?
(19:43):
Like to the booty.
Yeah, jc didn't care for that.
He said I got you.
So this lady was just sweet ascan be and I'm telling her all
my woes and I'm like, ugh.
She's like, oh, ok, well, justschedule more appointments.
Mamogram, internal ultrasound.
I'm like, oh, listen, you couldput a booty pad on?
No, I was like I could.
Could you imagine I'd be thegirl that walks and all of falls
(20:04):
out?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
you see, like panties , they're just you know, you're
just giving you.
Just I don't need a booty pad.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I like my little.
I actually love.
I've like grown to love mylittle booty.
See, there you go and like theother day I have.
The other day I had somethingon there's like booty shorts and
I was like, oh, I can squeezeit, I'm like see, I can't wear
booty shorts so you can do ityeah shorts and where I would
never be able to get away withthose what I think you could.
You could no People would belooking for the right reasons.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Thighs out, so Thick thighs save lives.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Exactly so.
Let them out.
Let them out to save lives.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I have to say mental life work.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Oh, I'm talking about after hours, like after school.
Let Foufey wear the bootythighs.
Now you got me saying all short, what am I saying?
Booty shorts, let Foufay wearthem after hours.
You're out of school, whatabout?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
listen, I get down after school, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
I don't get to see you often at the school no one
really sees me, I know.
I know you still dress rawtoday for me yeah, but this will
be me outside of school.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Old Navy summer dress outside of school oh yeah, I'm
a mom.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
So I'm still like careful with it.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
You still carry Jesus right there?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Yes, right there, Listen, I told you me.
And JC.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I know.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Me and G like we got a different you know, like
relationship.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
I say the same thing.
I'm like I'm pretty cool, I gotmy spirits.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
And I know when I have something on that.
Yeah, maybe I shouldn't,because my husband where you
going.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Oh see, when he asked it.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
now, you know, I'm like baby, look okay, where you
about to go with that on.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
So you know, that's when I know, yeah, you're like
to the front door to get themail to come back in.
Hey, do you change after that,or?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
are you still?
Where are you going, vince?
I'm all covered up, yeah, butthat booty to my husband you're
like, babe, I can't do anythingabout the booty.
Yeah, it's there you're lookingall thick going out the house.
This is me did not sound likehim he did.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I love his old man.
His old man chat, he's guy heis.
I love that he came into yourlife.
But that's because you had aconversation with Jaycee and
Jaycee said you've gone throughwar back and I've got you.
He loves me with my hair offand that's why I appreciate he's
learned how to clean my wig,See that's.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
He's learned how to clean like the glue and stuff
off of my units like that's areal man.
That's a real man yeah, that'struly a real man like if I'm
like exhausted, he's like justgive it to me, I'll do it so
wait, let me ask you this.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah, because I know you didn't just hand it over
when he said let me clean it.
I know you had to give him theboot camp of a week's worth of
like lessons.
Oh no, because you're you'revery particular too.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, how to do it.
Um, that you know.
Now he knows how to do it.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Perfect and it's nothing yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
And you know I've always walked around my kids
like with my hair off.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Because I just wanted them to be comfortable with it.
So I know people with alopecia,whose spouses have never seen
their hair.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Really yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Like I know, like women who never ever like seen
it.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
But I want I women who never, ever seen it.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
But I, I want, I always wanted my kids to know
that this is mommy.
Yeah, and my husband now knowslike this is mommy.
You know where you're notliking me because of what I look
like or loving me yeah, because, like my heart, and people just
don't understand that it's theheart of people oh yeah to segue
back, which makes us an amazinglike teaching set yeah, it's
like oh, heart and soul.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Heart, yeah, heart and soul has always been me.
I've lived my life and nothing,if anything, even with the
healing and unhealed version, Istill was led by heart and soul
yeah that never changed.
Yeah oh yeah.
Healing isn't linear, it'snever gonna go away.
You're, you're, I mean.
I'm not sitting here and sayingI want, want to be healed and
we still hurt, right God yeah.
(23:52):
It's still okay to not be okay,yeah, yeah, because new things
come up and it's like I could bedoing all this work and all of
a sudden, something I never sawcoming from my past just hits me
.
I'm like what the oh?
You think I'm ready for this?
Like that's that conversation,was that okay?
So, going back, you weretalking about how you'd like to
be free for your kids to see,have them see you in, and that's
(24:13):
great, because I got a littledistracted by the crazy squirrel
.
So now that we're back and wewere talking about your children
seeing you in all of your glory, your righteous, beautiful
glory, they're obviously okaywith everything.
Do they ever ask you questionsof fear of the future or do you
just?
Speaker 2 (24:31):
no, talk to them about no, because I've always
been very, very open, okay, um,about alopecia, so like when
they were babies I purposelywould not have my hair on, just
so they're comfortable.
Yeah, so you know, I will tellthem stories of things that I've
been through.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
They know like we all have stuff going on, just keep
pushing so and also to know thatspreading awareness and
spreading kindness, that itmatters what you say to people,
your friends, anyone like thathas an effect.
And that's what I always teachwith my nephews is this is what
I went through.
You don't want to be thatperson that you.
You know.
My nephew, my one nephew, he isthe greatest, especially with
(25:10):
kids with disabilities.
He'll always jump out, help mein any way and that came
naturally.
He came to all our, a lot ofour special olympics practices
when he was really little and hehigh-fived him during practice
and he's just that aware and hehe understands that bullying
happens, but but he doesn't havea tendency to be mean too, like
on the other kids.
And I remind them like, hey,what you just said, snapping off
it hurts people you may notthink it does, but it's going to
(25:33):
have an impact on somebody.
So be careful, because you'rebasically projecting whatever it
is you're feeling right now.
So if you're going throughsomething, share that.
Yeah, don't keep it bottled inkids are so different nowadays
and I think a lot of it's thesocial media and the technology.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Parents just have to do a better job of like hugging
and loving their kids, yeah likethat's oh god yeah, problem,
you know what I mean.
Like normalize telling your kidI love you.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Normalize just walking in their room boys and
girls, because I think peopleforget boys need to hear that
just as much as girls do.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Yeah like I tell my son all the time, like your
superpower is your brain.
You, you know, my daughter, youare so talented Because you
have to speak life.
I've had to speak life into mysituations.
You have to speak life intoyour students.
I have to speak life into theclassroom.
I have to speak life into ourESY program.
You know what I mean?
Just just, I have to speak lifeinto this podcast.
Watch what you say.
(26:25):
Yeah so and I told you know likemy story on and and how does it
feel to be able to share that?
But I don't feel depleted, Idon't feel nervous, like I just
feel I'm chilling.
You know what I mean, like Ican't control it.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
No, so why fight that world of control?
Yeah, and that's what I saidearlier is I don't want to be
the victim.
I want to be the hero of my ownstory, because I'm the writer,
I'm the creator, I'm thedirector of my story.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
And I don't ask about you know, like I don't even,
I'm not even at the point whereI'm like.
God, can you bring my hair back, like after 28 years, like
people don't understand thatit's not that.
I don't have the faith.
It's just not my priority.
This is just me.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Surgeries.
Someone asked me.
They're like would you everstart your surgery?
Why?
I said my biggest struggle wasevery time I asked for a surgery
it changed how I looked, whichmeant that it changed how I felt
about myself, which I wasalready struggling with.
So then, therefore, now I haveto start over, I go.
Who wants that life?
Why am I chasing?
I attract, I don't chase.
I don't need to chase for aface.
I got to love me, I got to like,chase myself, and that's
(27:34):
non-existent because it's not myreality.
My reality is right here,present this moment.
So if I can't get a hold ofthis and love all this, then I'm
just gonna be chasing for therest of my life and jc jc's
always gonna be holding thatcarrot like come on, you want to
do that life?
Then, when you run yourselfragged until you're so depleted,
I don't want that life, no,thank you.
So I had to take a pausebecause my friend had to take a
(27:58):
very important phone call, so weended up having to delete that
entire section which we kind oftalked about basically her
husband going into a program forthe Golden Apple Accelerant and
how proud we were of him, andbasically we kind of just jumped
to a new segment of learningand how we learn on our own and
(28:18):
not always being the crutch forother people, in the sense of
you have to let people do thethings they need to do on their
own, which then brings us intothe next part of the podcast.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
enjoy yeah, and it's just like thinking outside box,
like that's what teaching is allthe time.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Trust your intuition outside the box?
Speaker 2 (28:39):
yep, what would be the best way?
I will learn this exactly youcan't be afraid to laugh, you
can't be afraid to, you know Idance.
Yeah, you know me do a little acount, can't be afraid to reach
back into those things thatmade you happy.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
You know like as a child, creating a song, to
memorize something, to memorizethe formula.
Yeah, we did all that last year.
But that's what I loved aboutlast year.
It's kind of it brought me backinto it.
It's like a reminder and it wasfun because that was just a
refresher for you.
Yeah, like you repeat cycles,love it again.
For yeah, exactly because noteverything has to be repeated
cycle where it's like, okay, youmissed a lesson, but more so of
(29:14):
a reflection of, okay, this iswhat you used to enjoy.
Like you need that back in yourlife and that's why I think mr
t and everyone came into my lifeafter that, because I was doing
that work, that received thoseblessings, because it was a
blessing to have that man waltzinto that classroom because he
was, I mean, oh, phenomenal, andwith me I just how can?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I put it I don't want to bore myself, do you?
Speaker 1 (29:35):
don't want to bore yourself.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I have to keep it you know, fresh every day and plus,
I get so much joy when I seelike their light bulbs go off
where they get it.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I've walked into your classroom a couple times and
witnessed that.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
That's why I love watching you teach.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
It's like thank God, and I just it's so hard to
describe, because it's beyondjoy, because it, like it, lights
up within you like yeah and Ididn't, like, even during covid,
like I didn't hate teaching,like I love what I do yeah but I
also know that I'm beingelevated to do something else
and I just have to be patient.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
So with me working with Golden Apple, I knew that I
always wanted to help otherteachers and other educators
become better teachers.
So me being a part of theirmentor, that mentoring program,
that now I get to go and watchother teachers in their element
and help them to develop intotheir best selves.
So I'm actually looking forwardto like that next chapter and I
(30:35):
just got like my acceptanceemail, so I'm actually looking
forward to like that nextchapter and I just got like my
acceptance email.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
So will this next chapter, will it be sporadic, or
do you see yourself in the longrun making that more permanent?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Probably making it permanent.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
And leaving the teaching.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I don't know, you know like.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I can.
I know it's a scary questionbecause it is, but I can see
like doing something on the side.
Okay, you know what I mean, yeahlike doing something on the
side, okay, I mean, yeah, well,that's kind of what I want to do
is eventually, you know,motivational speaking, I writing
my books.
I want to eventually leave theteaching experience, but it's
not for anything that likebecause I hate it.
It's just that when you know,you know and like I know that my
(31:11):
creative passions are like onfire and I know that I wasn't
even aware of these gifts before.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
And now that?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I have them, it's like I keep building on them and
I love that I'm learning, likeI'm teaching myself, and that's
that kind of light bulb that youjust that spark that's like,
okay, use this, let's not justsit on it, but I feel it.
I just know it's about timingand so I trust it too, because
before I was like, okay, I'mgonna give myself a time limit
three years.
Why?
Why do that to yourself?
because you're limiting yourselfyeah there's things you need to
(31:38):
learn and jc's already paying aton to raise like oh, you said
three years, you put it, you puta demand.
No, I didn't.
Now it's like it'll happen whenit's supposed to happen.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah, and like I knew that this, like I wanted to do
this next level with helpingincoming teachers, because with
golden apple they do somethingcalled scholarly institutes this
summer and that's for theteachers or like college
students in their program thatthey go through like this
extensive training right, ohyeah but I was able to be a
(32:08):
speaker at lake forest andnorthern college and I remember
my topic was debunking the mythsof working with diverse
learners and it was standingroom.
Only, you know, in mysymposiums, Right.
Like they, I had like greatevaluations and the students
(32:30):
just walked away because I wasmy authentic self.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
And I was talking to them.
It was like it fired them up.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
So people from Golden Apple call me a lesbian.
I was talking to them, it waslike it fired them up.
So people from Golden Applecall me it loves me.
Everybody wants to be in yourclan and I'm just like, but this
is what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
But you want to be on that level with them.
That's the thing I think peopleforget, remember, because we
wear so many hats.
It's like who should I be forthese people?
It's like no, I'm not trying tolike, I don't need to sell you,
because if I have to sell you,that means I'm overselling
myself and I'm becomingsomething I'm not.
I'm giving you a version ofmyself that doesn't truly exist.
I'm just.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
I just I only know how to be me.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Yeah, exactly.
Like there are multiple levelsof me, yes, but you're going to
get them all in one sitting, andthat's what I love about this
part, whereas before I thinkshaming yourself and knowing
like, okay, I'm totally being aversion that I don't want to be.
When people told me fake ittill you make it, I don't know
how to fake it.
I can't fake things.
(33:25):
Like I mask so much of my lifethat was faking it and that
almost killed me.
Why do you think I want to fakeit till I make it?
I'm never going to make it then, because I'm lying to myself
and I'm putting that energy outthere in the world of just lies.
Yeah, I can't, and it's so muchharder now, like when you, when
you're around people, you feelthey're lying, you're like I
don't know how to connect withthat, because I was that before.
(33:47):
So I hold space, but I justcan't.
I can't sit and listen to thisanymore, you know, it's like
someone's food feeding me bs.
Yeah, I don't want that.
It's just no part of it.
And that's where my brain issometimes with the politicians,
the politics of education.
Here these kids matter.
There's so much we could bedoing for these kids.
There's so much money, there'sso many people you could hire.
(34:09):
Why don't we hire grant writersto supplement for the things
that we need for these kids?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
And then just administrators just got to trust
the teachers.
Yes, you know, I don't need anew you know strategy introduced
every three days, like no,that's because, yeah, like SQ3R,
I will never forget that youknow in school.
You know what I mean.
But it was just a way that weorganized information and I just
(34:34):
think that you know, we justhave to get to the point that we
have to just stay withsomething and let that work.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
And it's not going to happen overnight.
Oh, every year we change it.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Practice where but we don't.
We have no idea if this oneworks.
We we gave this strategy 12seconds.
Yeah, we need some more time.
Like you have to develop, andif you're always changing, you
know, every 30 seconds, we can'tsee if anything worked.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
we have no data to compare it to.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Let me do give me a semester yeah, you know, a year.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
It's about consistency.
Consistency and holding peopleaccountable.
Fine, if you don't feel youcan't trust a teacher that says
something about you and thatteacher that you need to have a
conversation with, not put allof us in one glass jar and say,
okay, you're all messing it up,so let's change jesus.
Ready, jc?
Speaker 2 (35:27):
we're both asking this fix it, jesus well on that
level.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I know that you do need to get going soon, but I
really wanted to say thank youfor this absolutely.
I truly enjoyed.
I didn't know what you weregoing to say when I put it out
there.
I was like you know what I wantto ask her.
And it wasn't even because Iwas like, oh, we'll talk about
alopecia or something.
It was just because I was likeyou know what she needs to just
come sit down with me.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
But I think that this was good for me too.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
It's divinely aligned , yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
I'm comfortable talking about it.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
And I love that you freely spoke about it before
even me even bringing it up.
But what I'm going to do, Idon't know.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
It's not like a strain coming up anytime you
know what I mean yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
There's no like magic buttons.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
No, you just learn how to buy the right eyebrow
pencil, you learn how to buy theright type of lashes and you
get you a bomb haircut.
And then I keep going and Ikeep moving.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
I cannot let alopecia ran my life so much.
Yeah, that now I do it when Iwant to, and that's how I'm
going to do it Because I can'teven answer for me.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Like obviously I had cruise on since I was born, so
like I lived with it.
But it was true, though, whenpuberty hit in seventh grade, it
fucked me in the worst waypossible, because emotions I'm
already a sensitive person.
I was a beautiful, sensitiveperson then.
Like I just saw joy and loveand light, and everyone,
everyone was a damn rainbow anda unicorn to me, because I just
felt that I was like aninternalized care bearer.
(36:49):
So then puberty hit andeverything became dark, yeah,
you know, and it was slow motionand I was like you could see
the joy leaving me, you couldsee the love leaving and I.
I saw it and I hated it becauseit was.
It was almost like you'repulling a tug of war and you're
pulling, but you can see thatthe other person now there's
like 10 people on there and onlyone of you and you're just
slowly letting go of the rope.
You're like damn it.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Yeah, I can look at pictures and tell like this was
a really bad moment in my life.
Yeah, and then I look atpictures now and like I see
peace yeah so my takeaway fromjust even with this podcast, you
know, it's just protect yourpeace.
Yes, you know things that arenot going to bring me pour back
into yourself.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I don't want to, I don't want any parts of it,
exactly you know, and I don'tfeel shame about that you know,
like when you were talking abouthow your, your group was small,
I look at that now as that's mylife is because protecting my
peace also, I can't fake that, Ican't be something, that I'm
not with you.
And you know like obviously Idon't drink anymore.
So I don't know if that justmeans people stop asking me to
(37:50):
invite me out because they thinkthat that's gonna bother me
like none of that bothers me,but your life has gone on, you
know yeah you know exactly likeI.
I can be in those moments and befine with it.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
It's not something I'm like oh god, I miss that me
finding peace is me sitting inmy loft watching Bridgerton when
no one interrupting me.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
That's the key.
No one interrupting you.
I'm okay with that.
Mine is literally a blanketsitting up against a tree
listening to a book on tape ormy music or writing.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
But mine is swinging in, my egg swing.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Your egg swing.
Mm-hmm, wait, what's an egg?
Speaker 2 (38:26):
swing.
You know the swing that kind oflooks like an egg.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
No, but I don't like hammocks it's like a hammock
okay but it's like the circle,oh, kind of like a, uh, like a
birdcage, yeah, okay, yeah, thatwould be so.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
You saw my video that I posted.
I was in that over the weekendand I was in georgia and I was
just swinging yeah, and I waslike this is my hat yes, because
you could do it for hours andnot even know.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
I went by, I was in.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Menards and I saw the patio swing.
So you're like don't, but I satthere and I was swinging.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Who doesn't?
I mean, come on, go to Bed,Bath Beyond.
Who's not going to try thislittle bed and be like I'm going
to just cozy up and see if?
Speaker 2 (39:01):
I like it.
It's too high so I can't do bedbaths.
They don't have enough dealsfor me, True.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, I got mine off of Amazon.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
There we go.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Amazon Say that I got my bed.
I got the new one where it's Idon't know what it's called Nest
something.
It's a blanket, no, it's a bed.
Oh.
But I needed something.
Mine was too hard, oh.
So I got one that kind of likemolds into you, yeah.
Then I got 900 pillows and afull body pillow.
Yeah, my husband hates thepillows.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
He's like what's the point?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
I'm like they just look so nice.
Well, no, you should see meLike I got cooler, like coolant.
So one side's cool and oneside's warm.
Those pillows are phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Amazon, amazon.
You gotta send me the link.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Oh, see you trying to make me shy.
Oh my bad.
Well, this is the gift I keepon giving.
This is for Foupe, All right.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
With that being said, again, thank you so much, my
lesby, lesby, lesby Thank you somuch for inviting me.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
This was amazing.
Oh, that sounded like Foupesaid goodbye.
This was amazing.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
And, with that being said, thank you all for joining
me on another episode ofInfinite Love.
Bye.
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The Burden
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.