March 28, 2025 • 10 mins
In this heartfelt episode of Infinitely Precious, James Henry shares a deeply personal reflection on navigating stress, uncertainty, and emotional weight while supporting a loved one in crisis. Drawing from his recent experience advocating for his father in the ICU, he explores the challenge of staying present in difficult moments, the importance of leaning on community, and the need for self-compassion. Through his journey, he invites listeners to recognize their own inner and external resources, embrace the present, and remember that they are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
James (00:00):
Welcome to the Infinitely Precious podcast produced by
Infinitely Precious LLC. I'mJames Henry, and I'll be your
host today. As you can tell, ifyou're a regular listener, the
intro and the podcast itself isgoing to be a little bit
different today. I'm on the roadunexpectedly for a family need,
(00:26):
and I even missed one of ourpodcast drops because I didn't
have the opportunity to record.So what I felt like talking
about today is something thatI've been trying to work with
this week, and that is how do wedeal with the things that we
(00:48):
struggle with, the things thatwe carry, the pain of others,
especially when we're in a placewhere we are called upon to help
others in those moments.
How how do we learn to stay inthose moments, to stay with
(01:09):
those moments, to, not run away.This week, I had a my father
was, put into the intensive careunit, and it was kind of it's
been kind of up and down thisweek, and as it's been that kind
(01:36):
of a week, and I have been hissort of advocate and
spokesperson, It has been my jobto sort of gather what was going
on, understand what all of themedical practitioners were
talking about, and make surethat dad got what he needed
(01:56):
while he was there. You know,obviously, the medical people
were, doing the all of theimportant things, but I just
tried to make sure that theydidn't overlook his own personal
needs and the way things weregoing for for him. And it was
also my job to communicate to myfamily exactly what was going
(02:18):
on. I was happy to do it.
Daddy asked me to do that thing.But there were moments, as there
are in any time where in astressful situation, there are
times when it can overwhelm us.And you can't be clinical when
(02:45):
you're dealing with someone asclose to you. If you have a good
relationship like I do with myfather, it's hard to just be in
any way objective. I can alreadysay upfront, I'm subjective
about dad, and I'm subjectiveabout him getting the best care,
and because of that, I had toconstantly find myself stepping
(03:09):
back and saying, all right, nowthat I have that information,
when dad was able to becommunicative, and that was
several times throughout theweek, including today, to ask
him what he wanted, but then notto run away from the feelings,
particularly in the momentswhen, you know, the emotions
(03:30):
would well up and in the midstof the uncertainty of what the
prognosis might be.
How do you hang in there inthose moments? Because there are
a lot of those kinds of hardmoments in life. And I know that
some of you who listen to mypodcast are people who face
(03:51):
those kinds of challenges. Theymay not wear the exact same face
that mine does, but they arechallenges that you must face
and figure out how you can be inthose moments with the people
that matter the most. So, youknow, first of all, when we look
(04:16):
at these kinds of things,remember, you're not in this
alone.
That's what I had to constantlytry and remember myself because
if I'm being honest with you,sometimes it feels like it would
be easier to try to do it allyour way without doing any
consultation. And that is afallacy. That is indeed a
(04:42):
fallacy. I was very fortunate tohave siblings and my lovely wife
who were all very present forme, helping me through those
times, listening to me, helpingme struggle through some of the
decisions, generating ideas.This evening, completely out of
(05:03):
the blue, one of my siblings andher husband brought us dinner
tonight so that it turned out tobe perfect timing because while
dad went to have a test, we allgot to sit down together and to
eat a meal that was reallydelicious, well prepared, a home
(05:26):
cooked meal that had beendelivered with love.
And it's those kinds of thingsthat can sustain us. First of
all, remembering we're not inthis alone. And second of all,
when we find ourselves trying toescape, run away, not deal with
the moment, to slow down, tocatch our breath, and to come
(05:50):
back into the moment. One thingI'm not always good at that is
helpful in times like this toois to learn to be more gentle
with yourself. You know, giveyourself some grace,
particularly if it's a time ofhigh stress and uncertainty, and
it's about people you love.
(06:13):
In moments like that, you know,the very best we have is to slow
down and be kind to ourselves.And certainly part of that
kindness is the way we talk toourselves. You know, I've done a
podcast about self talk and howimportant it is to pay attention
to the way we talk to ourselvesabout ourselves. If we call
(06:38):
ourselves stupid or demean thechoices we make, that's not
helpful to us, and over the longrun it begins to wear us down.
Certainly in times of stress,we're gonna make mistakes.
We're not gonna do exactly whatwe intended or maybe even
(06:59):
exactly what someone elsewanted, but in those moments of
high stress and chaos when we'retrying to help others through
and be advocates for otherfolks, to me, it's in moments
like that when we need thegreatest grace, when we need to
cut ourselves slack, forgiveourselves, and then move on to
press forward. It's not easy,but it is doable. So ask
(07:29):
yourself, particularly if you'refacing stressful challenges in
your life, whether they'repersonal medical issues the
state of our society today, ourculture, our nation, if you're
listening from a nation thatyou're concerned about, wherever
you are, whenever you are, takestock of what resources you
(07:54):
bring to the moment. Who areyou? What do you bring to this
moment?
What are some of the resourcesavailable within you? Are you
kind? Are you able to bear upunder pressure? Are you able to
let go and slow down in themoments you need to? Are those
(08:16):
some of the things you bring toit?
What resources outside yourself?Are there people you could turn
to? People who would be glad tohelp you, but you'd just prefer
not to ask. Some people wouldlove to help if you only told
them what you needed. So maybeone of the things you have to do
too is to learn to be clearabout what it is you need and
(08:40):
who might be a good resource toturn to for that.
Sometimes it might be aprofessional, but sometimes it
might be a friend or a familymember who can help in that. My
family was of great help to mein this week, when I've been
walking along with my dad. Sodon't underestimate yourself.
(09:02):
All of us in our lives will facemoments of great stress and
challenge, and great stress andchallenge that's all tied up in
our emotions and our attachmentsto things and to people make it
difficult for us to get a goodfocus on what really needs to be
done. If you can, despite yoursubjectivity, step back for a
(09:28):
moment and take a look.
What do you bring? What can youcall on to help you in times
like this? And what will be thenext step that you take? Above
all, remember that you areinfinitely precious and
unconditionally loved for thegift you already are. And if you
(09:50):
can remember that, remember thepreciousness, the gift that you
are, that you bring to thismoment, and you can practice
being in this moment.
Don't borrow from the longdistance future when you're
uncertain or even from the pastand the mistakes you have made,
but instead be present in themoment and perhaps you'll
(10:12):
discover you are more than youimagined you were. Perhaps
you'll discover people aroundyou are more than you imagined
they were. Perhaps you'll justdiscover that you are strong
enough in any given crisis toengage. So I invite you to do
(10:33):
just that. Thanks for listeningtoday.
I wish you all the best. I'vealready reminded you, but I'll
say it again. You are infinitelyprecious and unconditionally
loved for the gift you alreadyare. Until our next time
together, all the best to you.
Welcome to the Infinitely Precious podcast produced by
Infinitely Precious LLC. I'mJames Henry, and I'll be your
host today. As you can tell, ifyou're a regular listener, the
intro and the podcast itself isgoing to be a little bit
different today. I'm on the roadunexpectedly for a family need,
(00:26):
and I even missed one of ourpodcast drops because I didn't
have the opportunity to record.So what I felt like talking
about today is something thatI've been trying to work with
this week, and that is how do wedeal with the things that we
(00:48):
struggle with, the things thatwe carry, the pain of others,
especially when we're in a placewhere we are called upon to help
others in those moments.
How how do we learn to stay inthose moments, to stay with
(01:09):
those moments, to, not run away.This week, I had a my father
was, put into the intensive careunit, and it was kind of it's
been kind of up and down thisweek, and as it's been that kind
(01:36):
of a week, and I have been hissort of advocate and
spokesperson, It has been my jobto sort of gather what was going
on, understand what all of themedical practitioners were
talking about, and make surethat dad got what he needed
(01:56):
while he was there. You know,obviously, the medical people
were, doing the all of theimportant things, but I just
tried to make sure that theydidn't overlook his own personal
needs and the way things weregoing for for him. And it was
also my job to communicate to myfamily exactly what was going
(02:18):
on. I was happy to do it.
Daddy asked me to do that thing.But there were moments, as there
are in any time where in astressful situation, there are
times when it can overwhelm us.And you can't be clinical when
(02:45):
you're dealing with someone asclose to you. If you have a good
relationship like I do with myfather, it's hard to just be in
any way objective. I can alreadysay upfront, I'm subjective
about dad, and I'm subjectiveabout him getting the best care,
and because of that, I had toconstantly find myself stepping
(03:09):
back and saying, all right, nowthat I have that information,
when dad was able to becommunicative, and that was
several times throughout theweek, including today, to ask
him what he wanted, but then notto run away from the feelings,
particularly in the momentswhen, you know, the emotions
(03:30):
would well up and in the midstof the uncertainty of what the
prognosis might be.
How do you hang in there inthose moments? Because there are
a lot of those kinds of hardmoments in life. And I know that
some of you who listen to mypodcast are people who face
(03:51):
those kinds of challenges. Theymay not wear the exact same face
that mine does, but they arechallenges that you must face
and figure out how you can be inthose moments with the people
that matter the most. So, youknow, first of all, when we look
(04:16):
at these kinds of things,remember, you're not in this
alone.
That's what I had to constantlytry and remember myself because
if I'm being honest with you,sometimes it feels like it would
be easier to try to do it allyour way without doing any
consultation. And that is afallacy. That is indeed a
(04:42):
fallacy. I was very fortunate tohave siblings and my lovely wife
who were all very present forme, helping me through those
times, listening to me, helpingme struggle through some of the
decisions, generating ideas.This evening, completely out of
(05:03):
the blue, one of my siblings andher husband brought us dinner
tonight so that it turned out tobe perfect timing because while
dad went to have a test, we allgot to sit down together and to
eat a meal that was reallydelicious, well prepared, a home
(05:26):
cooked meal that had beendelivered with love.
And it's those kinds of thingsthat can sustain us. First of
all, remembering we're not inthis alone. And second of all,
when we find ourselves trying toescape, run away, not deal with
the moment, to slow down, tocatch our breath, and to come
(05:50):
back into the moment. One thingI'm not always good at that is
helpful in times like this toois to learn to be more gentle
with yourself. You know, giveyourself some grace,
particularly if it's a time ofhigh stress and uncertainty, and
it's about people you love.
(06:13):
In moments like that, you know,the very best we have is to slow
down and be kind to ourselves.And certainly part of that
kindness is the way we talk toourselves. You know, I've done a
podcast about self talk and howimportant it is to pay attention
to the way we talk to ourselvesabout ourselves. If we call
(06:38):
ourselves stupid or demean thechoices we make, that's not
helpful to us, and over the longrun it begins to wear us down.
Certainly in times of stress,we're gonna make mistakes.
We're not gonna do exactly whatwe intended or maybe even
(06:59):
exactly what someone elsewanted, but in those moments of
high stress and chaos when we'retrying to help others through
and be advocates for otherfolks, to me, it's in moments
like that when we need thegreatest grace, when we need to
cut ourselves slack, forgiveourselves, and then move on to
press forward. It's not easy,but it is doable. So ask
(07:29):
yourself, particularly if you'refacing stressful challenges in
your life, whether they'repersonal medical issues the
state of our society today, ourculture, our nation, if you're
listening from a nation thatyou're concerned about, wherever
you are, whenever you are, takestock of what resources you
(07:54):
bring to the moment. Who areyou? What do you bring to this
moment?
What are some of the resourcesavailable within you? Are you
kind? Are you able to bear upunder pressure? Are you able to
let go and slow down in themoments you need to? Are those
(08:16):
some of the things you bring toit?
What resources outside yourself?Are there people you could turn
to? People who would be glad tohelp you, but you'd just prefer
not to ask. Some people wouldlove to help if you only told
them what you needed. So maybeone of the things you have to do
too is to learn to be clearabout what it is you need and
(08:40):
who might be a good resource toturn to for that.
Sometimes it might be aprofessional, but sometimes it
might be a friend or a familymember who can help in that. My
family was of great help to mein this week, when I've been
walking along with my dad. Sodon't underestimate yourself.
(09:02):
All of us in our lives will facemoments of great stress and
challenge, and great stress andchallenge that's all tied up in
our emotions and our attachmentsto things and to people make it
difficult for us to get a goodfocus on what really needs to be
done. If you can, despite yoursubjectivity, step back for a
(09:28):
moment and take a look.
What do you bring? What can youcall on to help you in times
like this? And what will be thenext step that you take? Above
all, remember that you areinfinitely precious and
unconditionally loved for thegift you already are. And if you
(09:50):
can remember that, remember thepreciousness, the gift that you
are, that you bring to thismoment, and you can practice
being in this moment.
Don't borrow from the longdistance future when you're
uncertain or even from the pastand the mistakes you have made,
but instead be present in themoment and perhaps you'll
(10:12):
discover you are more than youimagined you were. Perhaps
you'll discover people aroundyou are more than you imagined
they were. Perhaps you'll justdiscover that you are strong
enough in any given crisis toengage. So I invite you to do
(10:33):
just that. Thanks for listeningtoday.
I wish you all the best. I'vealready reminded you, but I'll
say it again. You are infinitelyprecious and unconditionally
loved for the gift you alreadyare. Until our next time
together, all the best to you.
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