Episode Transcript
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Intro (00:00):
Welcome to the Infinitely
Precious podcast produced by
Infinitely Precious LLC. Yourhost is James Henry. Remember,
you are infinitely precious andunconditionally loved for the
gift you already are.
James (00:12):
Hello, beloved. It's me,
James, and I've been pondering a
question this week a little bit.A question raised by the apostle
Paul in a letter he wrote in thefirst century to the Romans. Why
(00:34):
do I do that's what I don't wantto do. Why do I do the evil that
I don't want to do?
Now he has some answers in theirrather, their good complex
theological rhetorical answers.For me this week, as I've been
thinking about the times when Imiss out on doing the good I
(00:57):
intended to do, a lot of itseems to flow from the fact that
I am not paying attention. And Imean that in the best maybe in
the worst. I mean that, truly inthe sense of being present in
that moment. Oftentimes, when Ijust allow myself to slip into
(01:21):
autopilot walking through life,without being attentive to the
moments that I'm in, when I'm inthat autopilot mode, I say
whatever pops up.
I do whatever pops up. Whateveris the path of least resistance
seems like the path that drawsme in. That's what I would say
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draws me to that thing. So whatis it that I can do about that
in addition to or beyond thegreatest thing, which is to rely
on the grace, the love, theforgiveness, the openness of the
divine? Is there something I canpersonally do to participate in,
(02:09):
the moments when I find myselfdoing things I ought not to do
or that I intended not to do?
And the answer is, yes. There issomething I can do, and it's to
be awake in the moment, toreally practice, to really try,
(02:30):
in the midst of everything elseto be there, it does not mean it
does not mean that I won't stilldo, maybe just as often, do the
thing I don't intend to do. Butsomehow inside of me, I have
noticed that when I am reallypresent in the moment, when I'm
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paying attention to what I'mdoing, what I'm saying, what I'm
thinking, and I'm not justsaying, whatever comes to mind
or doing whatever seems mostexpedient in the moment. When
I'm actually there, I am indeedless likely I'm less likely to
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do that thing that I don't wantto do, that I wish I hadn't
done. If I practice pausing inthat moment, if I slow down just
enough, if I pay attention towhat's going on, I mean, I see
it in everyday life in lots ofdifferent kinds of ways of
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paying attention.
I've been driving for a longtime. I wanna say I've been
driving about forty five years,give or take. More than forty,
for sure. And driving from placeto place, particularly long
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trips, have you ever noticedevery once in a while that
you'll get to a place on thetrip and you won't realize
exactly how you got there? Youyou will have been driving for
that distance, but you can'tname anything that you
particularly saw, any signs, anyplaces you passed.
You can't because you haveslipped into autopilot. Your
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body and mind are payingattention to what's going on
ahead of you at least to at atthe lowest level, but you're
thinking about something else oryour mind's engaged somewhere
else. You're not fully there.And that not being fully there
takes, takes you out of themoment. And if you're not paying
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attention, that's, creates ascenario in which you're much
more likely to trip up.
At least, that's what I think asI've been pondering the
question, Paul asks all thisweek. Now for you, you may, you
may see it another way. Andthat's why when I do these
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podcasts, I encourage you to towrite me if you want to,
And let me know what you'rethinking. If you disagree, if
there's some way that I couldsharpen my response or see it in
a different fashion.
If that's something that yousee, I encourage you to let me
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know, and I'll probably respondat a future, podcast to the
thoughts that you shared.Because certainly, I'm always
looking for better ways to befully present, to really engage
in this world in which I'mliving. I'm realizing how
important it is to be present,how much the world depends on my
(05:55):
actually, focusing on themoments I find myself living in
and through. And that payingattention actually makes a
difference. I still makemistakes.
I still trip up. I still do thethings that I don't want to do.
And if I'm not paying attention,I say things that hurt other
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people's feelings or do thingsthat, cause harm to another.
Certainly, usually not withintention. But without being
present, it's definitely withoutattention.
So my invitation to you thisweek would be to pay attention,
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to notice the things that spinyou up. And when you start to
feel yourself getting spun up,to step back. To step back. Say,
oh, I see that happening. I seethis spinning up happening.
I see where this is going. Isthere another way that I can
engage this moment that isn'tabout doing harm, about winning
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an argument, about showing thatI've got it all together?
Whatever it may be that'srunning in your head, is there
is this thing that's rising upin me something I can avert?
Stop by, changing my attitude,by thinking a different thought,
by examining my conscience, byrecognizing that oftentimes the
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thing that makes me most angryabout the other is my projecting
onto them my own stuff. Not evenalways them doing whatever
they're doing.
In fact, it's probably not mostof the time what they're doing.
It's what I project of my ownissues onto them. If I'm really
paying attention, I might seewhat's coming up inside of me,
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what's rising up inside of me,and be able to to divert myself
from doing something in thatmoment that I will come to
regret. And that the person withwhom I'm, spending time might
come to regret. That,particularly if it's one on one
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or a group of friends or a groupof even colleagues or, it could
even be strangers.
There's no reason to ruinsomeone else's day just because
I am not paying attention. Itdoesn't mean I won't do it. It's
simply an invitation to try mybest and for you to try your
(08:38):
best to be fully present in themoment. Paying attention is
being there. And if you payattention enough, the things
that rise up in you, you'llbegin to see the patterns in it.
The patterns in the way that youare being, defensive, or you're
(09:02):
trying to be, to to act out yoursense of insecurity without
realizing it. Your sense thatyou're not quite good enough.
Something about shame or sadnessor something that's triggered
you from your past can emergebefore you have a chance to
think about it. Paying attentionis not gonna make it go away,
(09:25):
but it might allow you to pauselong enough to catch what it is
and maybe to stop long enough tothink about ways that you might
deal with it more directly. Youdon't have to be a certain way.
You can choose to go anotherway. That's what I'm saying when
I'm saying pay attention.Because when we pay attention,
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we get the moment to make a freechoice, to use our free will, to
veer, in a direction other thanthe one that is hurtful to us
and to the other. Those were thethoughts that came to me this
week as I was thinking aboutthat question of Paul. I kept
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revisiting it, for reasons it'snot what I'm preaching about
this week.
It's not, particularly, on mymind for any other reason than
it just kept rising up. Maybe itwas so I would have a topic to
talk about in my, Fridaypodcast, or maybe it's because I
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need to be paying more attentionto my life. It's probably more
the latter and less the formerthat I need to be paying
attention in my life how to bestbe alive because we are mortal,
limited. We have a finite periodof time in which to engage the
world in which we live here, inthis form anyway. And as such,
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we ought to make the best of it.
And paying attention is one ofthe ways of making the best in
every moment. Why do I do thethings that I don't want to do?
Maybe some of it's my ownpropensity, but certainly, a
fair portion of it is becauseI'm not paying attention. So pay
attention, and I'm gonna do mybest to do the same. But paying
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attention or not, rememberalways that you are infinitely
precious and unconditionallyloved for the gift you already
are.
Until the next time.