April 8, 2025 • 11 mins
In this heartfelt episode of the Infinitely Precious podcast, James Henry returns after a brief hiatus due to his father’s hospitalization and shares a deeply personal reflection on presence, connection, and the wisdom of friends. He recounts the emotional challenges of navigating medical uncertainty and how a friend’s reminder helped him shift from worrying about outcomes to embracing the present moment. Through his week spent at his father’s bedside—listening, sharing silence, and simply being—James offers a moving meditation on the transformative power of presence. He invites listeners to consider their own capacity to be fully present with loved ones and strangers alike, and to seek out spiritual community and practices that ground them in the here and now.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Welcome to the infinitely precious podcast produced by
(00:03):
infinitely precious LLC. Yourhost is James Henry. Remember,
you are infinitely precious andunconditionally loved for the
gift you already are.
James (00:12):
Hello, beloved. It's me, James, and I'm back with you
live. If you are a regularwatcher on our Tuesday stream,
whether it's on the church'swebsite or it's on our Facebook
(00:33):
page or my own personal Facebookpage, or whether you listen to
it in the afternoon on mypodcast. In any case, you will
know that we have not been livefor several weeks. I was away
taking care of some familybusiness, my father's medical
power of attorney, and so I hadsome things to do.
(00:57):
He's been in the hospital. Andbecause of that, I had to
prioritize away from thesemoments. You've got
rebroadcasts. So today, I'm backand I'm glad to be back. Dad's
still not out of the woods,still working his way through,
(01:18):
but he's gotten better and ismeant to be released today to
start doing some physicaltherapy, etcetera, to get back
in shape.
So as such, I thought I wouldtalk a little bit about the
wisdom of friends and howremaining connected in the
(01:40):
spiritual community in some waywould help along this journey of
faith. I would tell you that thefirst week, which would have
been two weeks ago, that I spentout of town with my family, most
focused on dad in the intensivecare unit, was a time where it
(02:03):
was a real rollercoaster, up anddown. And I kept getting more
and more focused on the outcomesof dad's stay in the hospital,
which as you know, or as youmight guess, becoming focused on
outcomes takes you out of themoment. It takes you away from
(02:25):
where you are right now and kindof thrusts you into the unknown
because you really don't knowwhat the outcome will be. There
are many possible outcomes, andwe were constantly getting new
information that suggested adifferent outcome each time.
(02:47):
So, the challenge became, Ibecame more and more challenged
in my ability to really bepresent for dad and for others
in this journey to potentialrecovery. So I spent a week
there, came back, did my weekendthing, preaching and kind of
(03:13):
recovering a little bit. Andthen I got a call on Monday that
said, we really need you to comeback down sooner than you
anticipated because thingsaren't looking good. That was,
last week and when I got there,dad seemed generally alright and
actually with each successiveday last week got better. The
(03:33):
weekend when I had been gone hadbeen bad, but then he got
successively better a little biteach day.
And I had a good friend, Sarah,who reminded me, she said,
James, you don't get so caughtup in the outcomes and what's
yet to come. Instead, practicebeing present. That's what your
(03:55):
real gift is. Practice beingpresent. And that was a wake up
moment for me, being where youare.
I talk about it all the time, Iencourage it, but in the midst
of my own concerns and sort ofcrisis of making choices,
medical choices with and fordad, I kind of lost touch with
(04:21):
that need to be in the moment.So all of last week, each day,
Monday through Friday before Ileft once again to come back
home, I was really there. Ispent pretty much all day, every
day at the hospital with dadsitting he was downgraded from
(04:41):
an intensive care to a step downunit. I spent a lot of time
sitting with him, feeding him asnecessary, and just sometimes
sitting in silence, watching himnap, and sometimes having
significant conversations. Butthere was a big difference in
the week because every day,instead of being a concern for
(05:05):
what the outcome would be, everymoment of every day, for the
most part, was really about justbeing present.
What a tremendous gift it was tosit with dad for him to be able
to share what he was thinking orconcerned about. We had several
opportunities to talk aboutdeath, and his concerns about
(05:29):
them or his sense of ease andpeace with that, which he has,
and what his concerns about therest of us or for the rest of us
were. Should death be the stepthat happened sooner rather than
later? I mean, after all, we'reall going there, as he reminded
(05:50):
us. He quipped with me.
He was in no rush. He was notspeeding it up in any way. But
when it came, it came. So thattime with dad was a real gift.
We took the time together sothat I don't feel like I have
(06:18):
any unfinished business with myfather.
And I suspect he doesn't feellike he has any unfinished
business with me. We had thetime to really be present
together somewhere between eightand ten hours a day, and just
being there makes a difference.Have you ever noticed in your
(06:40):
own life how it can make a realdifference when you show up and
are with the people you careabout just there, not thinking
about what's next, not thinkingabout what the outcome of this
particular visit's going to beor about when it will end or any
of those things, but just beingthere. If you haven't tried that
(07:00):
out, it's worth practicingreally being with the people
that you spend time with, reallybeing where you are, even if
it's in the grocery store andeveryone around you is pretty
much strangers. Making the timeto be where you are, you see
things you might not have seen,you hear things you might not
(07:23):
have heard, and instead of beingreactive from moment to moment
to moment, you have theopportunity to respond, to
recognize this sentence dad justsaid, I don't have to say
anything back to.
(07:43):
I can just receive it andappreciate it. And then no
answer is necessary. Wasn'tseeking an answer, just making a
statement. And I think that'ssomething perhaps most of us
miss in this life. What would itfeel like for you if you were
(08:07):
really in the moment, especiallywith the people you love, but
even with the people you don'teven know?
What would you see that you arequick to miss because you are
speeding by? You're in your nextdestination or you're in the
(08:28):
outcome of this meeting you'rein rather than in the meeting
itself when you might even getclues as to better ways to
engage right now. We live in asociety that seems to invite us
to a place of outcomes. Whatwould the outcome be? And we
(08:49):
measure things by outcomes.
I mean, hospital outcomes inAmerica are not even near the
top of industrial nations in theworld, and it's worth measuring
that. Those outcomes come fromeach moment and careful choice
that's made along the way, andwhat are the choices we're
(09:11):
making in this moment? Withoutknowing what's going to happen,
can you be really right heremaking the best choice you can
make right now? And if you canbe, perhaps that will impact
what the outcome is. But gettingfocused on the outcome alone
makes you miss the moment.
(09:32):
I could have missed out on everysingle one of the five days I
spent sitting with my father andwith others who came in to visit
him and checking on hiswell-being. I could have missed
those days focused on what wasnext. Certainly, preparing for
the future is not a bad thing.Not saying that at all, but
(09:54):
getting so focused there thatyou miss now, think causes you
to miss out on the beauty ofthis life we have to live and
share together. All I'm invitingyou to do is to learn from my
experience, if you will, ofinitially failing in my
(10:15):
contemplative practice of beingwhere I am and being reminded by
someone.
So, I guess a couple ofquestions. Do you have some
people who can help you rememberto be where you are? Remind you
when you seem to get out of yourskin into some unknown future or
(10:36):
some uncertain reality in whichyou find yourself? Do you have
friends? Do you have a communityof people who are willing to
call you out?
That's worth it. It's worthfinding people who care enough
about you to call you out andremind you how to be present.
Are you present when you get achance? Are you practicing ways
(10:57):
to be present when you're there?I will suggest to you that a
simple meditation practice isworth the time of practicing
being in the space.
Seems like you're not doinganything at all, and you aren't.
You're practicing being whereyou are without the need to do.
You practice being recognizingyou're a human being and
(11:21):
focusing less on the fact thatour society tells us we're human
doings. So get back in themoment, be present where you
are, you never know what giftthis moment will bring and you
might miss it if you're focusedsomewhere else. Find the people
that will call you back.
But remember in the midst of allof that, you are indeed
(11:41):
infinitely precious andunconditionally loved for the
gift you already are. Until thenext time I join you, wish you
all the best.
Welcome to the infinitely precious podcast produced by
(00:03):
infinitely precious LLC. Yourhost is James Henry. Remember,
you are infinitely precious andunconditionally loved for the
gift you already are.
James (00:12):
Hello, beloved. It's me, James, and I'm back with you
live. If you are a regularwatcher on our Tuesday stream,
whether it's on the church'swebsite or it's on our Facebook
(00:33):
page or my own personal Facebookpage, or whether you listen to
it in the afternoon on mypodcast. In any case, you will
know that we have not been livefor several weeks. I was away
taking care of some familybusiness, my father's medical
power of attorney, and so I hadsome things to do.
(00:57):
He's been in the hospital. Andbecause of that, I had to
prioritize away from thesemoments. You've got
rebroadcasts. So today, I'm backand I'm glad to be back. Dad's
still not out of the woods,still working his way through,
(01:18):
but he's gotten better and ismeant to be released today to
start doing some physicaltherapy, etcetera, to get back
in shape.
So as such, I thought I wouldtalk a little bit about the
wisdom of friends and howremaining connected in the
(01:40):
spiritual community in some waywould help along this journey of
faith. I would tell you that thefirst week, which would have
been two weeks ago, that I spentout of town with my family, most
focused on dad in the intensivecare unit, was a time where it
(02:03):
was a real rollercoaster, up anddown. And I kept getting more
and more focused on the outcomesof dad's stay in the hospital,
which as you know, or as youmight guess, becoming focused on
outcomes takes you out of themoment. It takes you away from
(02:25):
where you are right now and kindof thrusts you into the unknown
because you really don't knowwhat the outcome will be. There
are many possible outcomes, andwe were constantly getting new
information that suggested adifferent outcome each time.
(02:47):
So, the challenge became, Ibecame more and more challenged
in my ability to really bepresent for dad and for others
in this journey to potentialrecovery. So I spent a week
there, came back, did my weekendthing, preaching and kind of
(03:13):
recovering a little bit. Andthen I got a call on Monday that
said, we really need you to comeback down sooner than you
anticipated because thingsaren't looking good. That was,
last week and when I got there,dad seemed generally alright and
actually with each successiveday last week got better. The
(03:33):
weekend when I had been gone hadbeen bad, but then he got
successively better a little biteach day.
And I had a good friend, Sarah,who reminded me, she said,
James, you don't get so caughtup in the outcomes and what's
yet to come. Instead, practicebeing present. That's what your
(03:55):
real gift is. Practice beingpresent. And that was a wake up
moment for me, being where youare.
I talk about it all the time, Iencourage it, but in the midst
of my own concerns and sort ofcrisis of making choices,
medical choices with and fordad, I kind of lost touch with
(04:21):
that need to be in the moment.So all of last week, each day,
Monday through Friday before Ileft once again to come back
home, I was really there. Ispent pretty much all day, every
day at the hospital with dadsitting he was downgraded from
(04:41):
an intensive care to a step downunit. I spent a lot of time
sitting with him, feeding him asnecessary, and just sometimes
sitting in silence, watching himnap, and sometimes having
significant conversations. Butthere was a big difference in
the week because every day,instead of being a concern for
(05:05):
what the outcome would be, everymoment of every day, for the
most part, was really about justbeing present.
What a tremendous gift it was tosit with dad for him to be able
to share what he was thinking orconcerned about. We had several
opportunities to talk aboutdeath, and his concerns about
(05:29):
them or his sense of ease andpeace with that, which he has,
and what his concerns about therest of us or for the rest of us
were. Should death be the stepthat happened sooner rather than
later? I mean, after all, we'reall going there, as he reminded
(05:50):
us. He quipped with me.
He was in no rush. He was notspeeding it up in any way. But
when it came, it came. So thattime with dad was a real gift.
We took the time together sothat I don't feel like I have
(06:18):
any unfinished business with myfather.
And I suspect he doesn't feellike he has any unfinished
business with me. We had thetime to really be present
together somewhere between eightand ten hours a day, and just
being there makes a difference.Have you ever noticed in your
(06:40):
own life how it can make a realdifference when you show up and
are with the people you careabout just there, not thinking
about what's next, not thinkingabout what the outcome of this
particular visit's going to beor about when it will end or any
of those things, but just beingthere. If you haven't tried that
(07:00):
out, it's worth practicingreally being with the people
that you spend time with, reallybeing where you are, even if
it's in the grocery store andeveryone around you is pretty
much strangers. Making the timeto be where you are, you see
things you might not have seen,you hear things you might not
(07:23):
have heard, and instead of beingreactive from moment to moment
to moment, you have theopportunity to respond, to
recognize this sentence dad justsaid, I don't have to say
anything back to.
(07:43):
I can just receive it andappreciate it. And then no
answer is necessary. Wasn'tseeking an answer, just making a
statement. And I think that'ssomething perhaps most of us
miss in this life. What would itfeel like for you if you were
(08:07):
really in the moment, especiallywith the people you love, but
even with the people you don'teven know?
What would you see that you arequick to miss because you are
speeding by? You're in your nextdestination or you're in the
(08:28):
outcome of this meeting you'rein rather than in the meeting
itself when you might even getclues as to better ways to
engage right now. We live in asociety that seems to invite us
to a place of outcomes. Whatwould the outcome be? And we
(08:49):
measure things by outcomes.
I mean, hospital outcomes inAmerica are not even near the
top of industrial nations in theworld, and it's worth measuring
that. Those outcomes come fromeach moment and careful choice
that's made along the way, andwhat are the choices we're
(09:11):
making in this moment? Withoutknowing what's going to happen,
can you be really right heremaking the best choice you can
make right now? And if you canbe, perhaps that will impact
what the outcome is. But gettingfocused on the outcome alone
makes you miss the moment.
(09:32):
I could have missed out on everysingle one of the five days I
spent sitting with my father andwith others who came in to visit
him and checking on hiswell-being. I could have missed
those days focused on what wasnext. Certainly, preparing for
the future is not a bad thing.Not saying that at all, but
(09:54):
getting so focused there thatyou miss now, think causes you
to miss out on the beauty ofthis life we have to live and
share together. All I'm invitingyou to do is to learn from my
experience, if you will, ofinitially failing in my
(10:15):
contemplative practice of beingwhere I am and being reminded by
someone.
So, I guess a couple ofquestions. Do you have some
people who can help you rememberto be where you are? Remind you
when you seem to get out of yourskin into some unknown future or
(10:36):
some uncertain reality in whichyou find yourself? Do you have
friends? Do you have a communityof people who are willing to
call you out?
That's worth it. It's worthfinding people who care enough
about you to call you out andremind you how to be present.
Are you present when you get achance? Are you practicing ways
(10:57):
to be present when you're there?I will suggest to you that a
simple meditation practice isworth the time of practicing
being in the space.
Seems like you're not doinganything at all, and you aren't.
You're practicing being whereyou are without the need to do.
You practice being recognizingyou're a human being and
(11:21):
focusing less on the fact thatour society tells us we're human
doings. So get back in themoment, be present where you
are, you never know what giftthis moment will bring and you
might miss it if you're focusedsomewhere else. Find the people
that will call you back.
But remember in the midst of allof that, you are indeed
(11:41):
infinitely precious andunconditionally loved for the
gift you already are. Until thenext time I join you, wish you
all the best.
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