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May 17, 2024 16 mins

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Sit with me while I admit a deep dark little tattoo artist secret. I have feelings about it when my long term clients go to someone else. 

I don't know if this term has been used before, but I say Polytattery refers to clients getting work done by several tattoo artists in the same time period. 

It can be awkward for us both if you don't say anything ahead of time. Or if you come back with a new piece by someone else and ask me to touch it up for you. 

Hear me wrestle with my own ego and admit to you what feels best and what doesn't. 

And then... hear the tale that has defined my last week of existence. It does have to do with dentistry, but it's not graphic. 

You can connect with me, Micah Riot, as well as see my tattoo art on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/micahriot/

Micah's website is www.micahriot.com
The podcast is hosted on Buzzsprout but truly lives in the heart of Micah's website at:
https://www.micahriot.com/ink-medicine-podcast/

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Micah Riot (00:30):
Hello, darlings, Micah Riot here with another
episode of Ink Medicine Podcast.
It's May 16th 2024.
It's a Thursday when I'mrecording this and it will be
out on Friday the 17th.
It's a Thursday when I'mrecording this and it will be
out on Friday the 17th.
The title of this episode, polytattery, refers to what we

(00:51):
tattoo artists think of as umpolyamorous clients.
I'm saying with a question markbecause it's a topic that's a
little bit hard to wrap yourmind around, because for some
people it's no big deal at alland for other people we have
feelings.
And I've also been asked byclients before how I would feel

(01:14):
if somebody who's been tattooedby me for years would then start
going to somebody else all of asudden.
And I've also had clients beweird and shady about going to
somebody else because they feltawkward about it, and sometimes
shady about going to somebodyelse because they felt awkward
about it.
And sometimes they would go tosomebody else and then come back
to me because the piece theygot from somebody else wasn't
really great, so they wanted meto fix it because they trusted

(01:35):
me, and so all of those thingsare things I'd like to discuss
in today's episode.
So at the outset I have to saythat there are a lot of
different kinds of clients, butin my career I found that there
are two main types.
There's a type of client whowanted to find their person and

(01:59):
they found their person in thiscase me and then they would come
to me for years and you know,to continue bigger pieces, to
get smaller pieces.
Something would happen in theirlife, they would want a new
piece.
They'd come back to me, theywould send me their kids later,
when the kids grow up and turned18, their parents, their
friends, so on.
So those are a lot of my like.

(02:19):
Loyal base of my clientele arepeople who really like having
their person that they go to,and maybe here and there those
people might be traveling,getting a little souvenir here
and there, and that's like anexperience they want to have.
But for the most part I amtheir person and they just keep
coming back to me year in, yearout.
Then there's clients who arecollectors.

(02:42):
They want different pieces anddifferent styles from different
folks in different places, maybesometimes in the same place,
like Bay Area is just full ofamazing tattooists, and so yeah,
of course, I have also hadclients who were happy to come
to me.
We had a connection, we had agreat time, maybe did even
bigger piece, but then theywanted to go collect from

(03:04):
somebody else and sometimes it'sin the same style, like, say,
they're really into watercoloror abstract work and they just
keep going to different peoplewho do that style and sometimes
it would be like differentthings just because people were
interested in different stylesfrom different famous tattoo
artists.
So when that is known at theoutset that the person is a

(03:27):
collector, that feels completelyfine to me personally.
That they are going to keepgoing and collect different
pieces from different people,like it's something that we know
in advance and it's somethingthat doesn't bug me.
The thing that I would sayprobably feels a little bit more

(03:47):
sensitive to me is when peoplecame to me for a bigger piece
and then went to somebody elsethat they didn't research very
well and they got a piece thatisn't great and then they want
to come back to me to have itfixed and I'm really happy to

(04:09):
help out somebody that I alreadyknow and really already care
about.
Like I'm totally down to fix apiece that they aren't happy
with, because I want people thatI care about and also people in
general, out there to have workthat they are happy to look at.
That doesn't make them feelweird or sad when they look at
it.
I'm, in general, happy to dothat.

(04:29):
But there's a part of my egothat gets activated because I
work in so many different stylesthat even if they went to
somebody else for, like, a moretraditional style of work like I
, could do that shit too.
So why didn't you just come tome in the first place, since you
already trust me and I get it?
Like people want differentexperiences.
I mean, I myself have acollection from different people

(04:52):
.
I love the people I've gone to,but for various reasons, some
having to do with me and somehaving to do with them, like
their location or their style.
I'm not coming back to them formore, but I do tend to seek out
like specialists in their fields.
Right now, I'm reallyinterested in ornamental black
work and that is what I'm goingafter.

(05:15):
Like I'm seeking out people whodo ornamental black work and
wanting to get tattooed by themspecifically.
So, to be honest, I'm notsaying it's great that I have
feelings about this, like my jobis to do tattoos and my job is
to do them for people well andto care for the people who are

(05:37):
coming to me to get tattoos, tocare for them as whole human
beings, and those whole humanbeings will wander off, like it
will happen.
I'm actually kind of amazed whenpeople don't, and it's not
great that I have feelings aboutthis, but I do, like I kind of
how to put it I feel when I havea relationship with somebody

(06:00):
and I've been tattooing them fora while and I know a lot about
their history and who they areand what moves them, there is a
part of me that feels likethey're under my care, like I
have these big wings and I haveall these people under these
wings part of my circle, part ofmy care.
I extend my care to themenergetically from then on and

(06:24):
when they go to somebody else, apart of that feels broken and
I'm yeah as I said, it's notgreat Like people have a right
to autonomy in their own bodiesand if they want to go to
somebody else, they should mostdefinitely go to somebody else.
But there's a little piece ofme that gets sad about it.
That's ego.
Yeah, and you know what, if I'mexperiencing it, pretty sure

(06:48):
that other people areexperiencing it too.
I think tattoo artists will sayto you that they don't care and
like on a bigger scale, like wedon't care, it's your body, do
what you want with it.
We're not going to like losesleep over it or, you know, say
something about it to you Likewe're not, it's petty.
But I would say that mostpeople have feelings and that

(07:11):
doesn't mean that you shouldn'tgo to somebody else.
It doesn't mean that youshouldn't get your little
souvenir when you're traveling.
I think what it means is thatwhat would feel the best to me
as someone's like go-to tattooartist as they're, you know,
part of their team, part oftheir care team, care for their
soul what would feel best to meis if the person would just like

(07:34):
tell me about their plans To belike hey, I found this tattoo
artist.
I really want to get tattooedby them.
They do this type of thing.
It's super cool.
What do you think?
Or not even, what do you thinkLike?
I actually love to be askedwhat I think.
Like.
I would love to go check outtheir work and like make sure
that I think it's solid and good.
But if you don't ask me, youknow what I think.
That's fine too.

(07:55):
I think just being told likehere's what's going on, here's
what I'm doing, would feel good.
It's uh, it would feel betterthan having you come back for
another session and seeing likea big piece on you that you just
went and got Like you don't oweme anything.
You know, it's true, you reallydon't, but like I don't know I

(08:17):
care about you, so I want toknow, you know, I don't know if
it makes any sense.
This is why this episode iscalled polytattery, because it
feels a little bit likepolyamory, like someone who's
super cool with polyamory youknow fine with their partners
having other partners, fine withtheir partners, you know,
having adventures, but like justwants to be informed of what's

(08:37):
happening, like doesn't want tocontrol it, just wants to be
informed.
It's kind of how I feel aboutit, because we are all in
relationship.
We're all in relationship toeach other, we're all in
relationship to ourselves, we'reall in relationship to the
processes we have with eachother, to the things we do
together.
And, yeah, I'm in relationshipwith all of you, all of you
listening, all of you that Itattoo, all of you have yet to

(09:00):
tattoo.
There's going to be arelationship there and there's
some relationship there as Istart to think about who is
going to be coming across mytable, you know, in the future
of my career.
I started thinking about thisearlier today because one of my
friends, who became a friendafter being a client for a while
, texted me and said hello fromhere, and she sent me a link to

(09:26):
the tattoo shop she was at onthe East coast and she said I
feel like I'm cheating on you,but I really need it.
And she apologized and I saidwhat are you getting?
And she told me and I said I'mglad you're getting your needs
met, even if it's by somebodywho is not me.
And then I said polytattery,and tell me how it goes.

(09:48):
And it was kind of like all Ireally wanted needed, like it
felt so considerate of her totell me like even though of
course you know she has fullrights of going and getting
tattooed by whoever she wants,wherever she wants it just felt
really considerate for her totell me.

(10:09):
And I did not need her toapologize at all, but just to
tell me.
Here's what I'm doing and Ifeel really good about that.
And that's probably all thereis really to say on the topic of
polytattery.
And I wanted to tell youanother story because it's been
on my mind this week and becauseit's about relationships and I
think about those a lot.
I had this dentist for the lastbunch of years.

(10:29):
I found him through a client ofmine who had had Lyme and
needed a lot of dental work torepair her teeth that were
damaged from having Lyme for solong.
And he did.
And she was raving about him onFacebook and I was looking for
a dentist and I saw her ravingabout him and I needed some work
.
That seems specific enough tothat.

(10:51):
I just couldn't just goanywhere and, you know, wanted
somebody who I could trust, andso I made an appointment and
went to him and really feltcared for, he did what he needed
to do, my healing was fine andso on.
And so over the years I'd goback to him and, you know, get
my cleanings at his office andwould get some dental work here
and there.

(11:12):
And so last week I had aprocedure that I needed to have
done.
He the year prior he tried tosave a root canal of mine that
was going south and he did andit it stood, it held for about a
year and then at the last exam,he was like it's developing
some infection underneath it.
We need to take it out and putan implant in.

(11:34):
And so I was like, okay.
And so last week I came to myappointment and he took my tooth
out.
He put bone grafting materialin my gum, sewed it up, and over
the course of a bunch of daysafter the procedure I just
wasn't feeling really good.
It was really inflamed.
I had a lot of pain and I waslike is something wrong?

(11:57):
Like do I need more attentionto this?
So I called his office over theweekend and the assistant told
me that he had had a medicalemergency.
He wasn't available and shegave me the number of somebody
else and so I talked to thisother person and the other
person gave me more antibiotics.
And then a couple days later Icalled the office again and I

(12:18):
was like is he gonna be backanytime soon?
Like what's going on?
Is he okay?
And what the assistant told mewas that she wasn't comfortable
talking about it at the moment.
And that was weird.
And my lovely apprentice, mygrandchild Sailor, was sitting
across the room and Sailor waslike, yeah, I get the feeling

(12:41):
that maybe he's not okay, maybehe's gone.
And I was like like shush it,you are making this up like
drama, like hello drama.
But that was weird what theassistant said.
You know, I started to makeplans, looking for somebody else
to look at my mouth because Ijust wasn't feeling good about
how I felt, you know.

(13:02):
And so some days go by actuallywas leaving an exam in downtown
San Francisco.
I was on my way back to BARTwhen I got a call from my
dentist's office and hisassistant told me that he indeed
did pass away some days ago.
He had a massive heart attackand he passed away.

(13:22):
And even though I was sort ofprepared for this news, because
I already was thinking about itsince that was what Sailor said
happened I was still shocked andI started bawling, I just
started crying and I sat down inUnion Square and I just cried
and cried and cried so hard.
I really had no idea that itwould affect me this way.

(13:44):
We didn't have a personalinterpersonal relationship,
right, he was my dentist, but hewas a really caring human.
He seemed at the outset likeyou'd think he was kind of like
a basic old white dude, but likehe actually wasn't that old.
But he was quirky and weird.
He was a Mormon, which I don'thave a lot of interactions with

(14:04):
Mormons Not that that meansanything, but you know, there's
sort of a mysticism aroundMormonism and he did really good
work and I really trusted himand I felt good in his care and
I realized that I don't have alot of cis men that I trust to
care for me and he was one thatI do.

(14:26):
That I did that I did trust tocare for me.
I felt safe with him and I feltlike he always told me what he
was doing and he respected me asa human.
He saw me as a whole human.
He never commented on like mypiercings or my tattoos.
He just treated me like a wholeperson.
I'm crying like now about it.
It's a loss.

(14:46):
I didn't expect to feel thisway about it, but it's true.
And yeah, I sat there for awhile and I called my friend
client who I found out about himfrom originally, and I told her
and she had this very similarreaction to me and some you know

(15:06):
.
A little bit later she textedme and she said there's going to
be a funeral next week and I'mgoing to go and I said I would
also like to go.
Let's go together.
So we're going to go together.
We're going to a Mormon churchfor his funeral.
I've never been to a Mormonchurch or Church of Latter-day
Saints is preferred by thatcommunity and I am happy that

(15:28):
we're going to go to the churchand attend the service.
I would like to honor him.
I'd like to be there.
So that's story time for thisweek.
That's the episode and that'sthe story time for this week for
this week.
That's the episode and that'sthe story time for this week.
I so appreciate you listening.

(15:49):
It's such an honor to be makingsomething that other people
think is interesting enough tospend their time listening to.
I appreciate you so much and Ihope you're about to have a very
good weekend.
Thank you.
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