Are you questioning whether you have autism or ADHD as a Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur, coach, or practitioner?
In today’s episode, I explore some of the questions many of us face: Should I seek a diagnosis for autism or ADHD? How can I support my nervous system and operate at my highest potential?
Through personal stories and insights, I’ll show you the power of embracing our neurodivergent gifts and creating a positively supportive environment for growth. This podcast is for anyone questioning their neurotype, seeking self-acceptance, and aiming to thrive authentically in their entrepreneurial journey.
Why Listen:
- Gain clarity on whether seeking a diagnosis aligns with your journey
- Discover strategies to support your nervous system and enhance functionality
- Learn the importance of self-compassion and leveraging neurodivergent strengths
- Understand how creating a supportive environment can lead to greater success and fulfillment as a highly sensitive entrepreneur.
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Disclaimer:
This podcast is for informational & inspirational purposes only. Nothing shared is intended as medical, psychological, or personalized advice, and should not be used as a substitute for professional support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back.
I'm so glad that you're here.
Today's episode we're talkingabout have you questioned
whether or not you might haveautism or ADHD, especially as a
highly sensitive entrepreneur,coach or practitioner?
Now, I'm bringing this upbecause I have had a lot of
(00:21):
questions from followers and theexperiences that I've had
personally and that I haveguided many of my clients
through.
There's been a very commontheme of questioning whether you
might have the neurodivergentneurotype of autism or ADHD,
(00:41):
especially if you're a highlysensitive person, because highly
sensitive person or sensoryprocessing sensitivity is a form
of neurodivergence.
And here's the thing is thatthere can be a lot of overlap
between sensory processingsensitivity, autism and ADHD.
Now there are some people thatI'm noticing on the internet
(01:03):
that are saying, well, if you'rea highly sensitive person, that
automatically means that you'reautistic, and I don't believe
that to be true, because thereare a subset of the population
that have autism, that do nothave high sensitivity, and some
that even have hyposensitivity.
What I believe it is is thatthere are an overlap of traits
(01:26):
and neurotype features thatoverlap between the two
different neurotypes, and that'swhy there's also a lot of
commonality between highlysensitive people and some people
who have ADHD.
The medical field is starting torecognize that some people can
have both autism and ADHD, whichis now being termed AU ADHD.
(01:49):
Now, this is the thing If welook back in the history of
diagnosing for autism,historically, if one was
diagnosed with autism, then therubric said that it was
impossible for that patient toalso have ADHD, and now they're
seeing that that's not true, andthis is just proof about how
(02:10):
medical trends and diagnosticscan shift and change as we start
to understand more and more,and especially when it comes to
autism, especially if you're afemale.
Historically the research onautism was done primarily on
males, especially boys, youngboys.
As the research has widened andthey're looking more into a
(02:33):
wider subset of the population,they're seeing that not only is
autism something that is presentin females, but oftentimes it
looks very different than whatit looks like traditionally from
the research that was done onmales.
If you're interested in divingdeeper into any of this, before
I forget, I want to suggest abook to check out that you might
(02:56):
find interesting andinformative, and the book is
called Divergent Mind Thrivingin a World that Wasn't Designed
for you, and the author's nameis Janera Nirenberg, and this
book speaks about some of thedifferent neurotypes of
neurodivergence, and especiallyin the female population.
(03:19):
I found this to be a reallyempowering book.
It really helped me betterunderstand myself as a woman who
is neurodivergent, especiallyfor the fact that I've always
felt different.
Reading this book helped me tounderstand some things about
myself that I didn't understandbefore, and this is the thing
(03:40):
that I find with my clients andsome of the people that reach
out to me that follow me is thatwhen you understand more about
yourself, then you canunderstand why you do the things
that you do, and that'sempowering.
The more you understand aboutyourself, the more empowered you
can feel, instead of wonderingwhy is this happening to me, why
(04:02):
can't I fit in, why can't I doit like these other people?
And especially for those of uswho are neurodivergent, when we
look at, say, for example,sensory processing sensitivity
or highly sensitive people, thatmakes up about 20 to 30% of the
population, and so that meansthat our nervous system and our
brain is wired differently than80% of the population, and so
(04:26):
that means, of course, we're notgoing to function the same as
most of the people around us.
And, as I talked about in lastweek's five-day training on day
four, when the people around usdon't understand our differences
, especially when we areneurodivergent, then we can be
(04:47):
led to believe, and conditionedto believe, that there's
something wrong with us and thatthere's something about us that
we need to change, fix, hide ormask, and so masking is a very
common term that is used,especially in the autism world.
About masking or hiding who youtruly are masking or hiding
(05:09):
those traits that maybe otherpeople might think are quirky or
weird, in order to try to blendin or fit in or not stand out,
and I know that was the case forme for pretty much most of my
life.
Turning back to the main focusof the topic of conversation for
today's podcast episode is areyou questioning whether you
(05:30):
might have autism or ADHD,especially if you identify as a
highly sensitive person, whichyou probably do if you follow me
and if you're listening to thispodcast, you're following this
podcast, and so there is asubset of the highly sensitive
population who is also going toidentify as having autism or
(05:51):
ADHD.
Now my personal experience.
I'm going to be speaking morefocused and highlighting autism
versus ADHD.
I'm going to speak from my ownlived experience today, and so,
as you already know I identifyas a highly sensitive person
with sensory processingsensitivity.
(06:12):
A number of years back Istarted to explore and was
opened up to the possibilitycould I also be autistic?
And it was a really interestingthing that started me on this
road of looking at myself andwhether or not I might have
autism.
(06:32):
So as a naturopathic doctor, Ialready knew a fair amount about
autism and the criteria fordiagnoses, and I knew that one
of the things that is a verycommon feature of somebody who
has autism is they might have adifficult time understanding
idioms.
Examples of idioms could bethings like the straw that broke
(06:53):
the camel's back, like a fishout of water kill two birds with
one stone.
You know these are just a fewexamples of many.
I never thought twice aboutthis for myself.
I do remember when I wouldlearn some of these phrases when
I was a child.
They would have to be explainedto me and then I would memorize
(07:14):
the idiom and then, wheneveranyone would say it, I would
just refer back to the memorizeddefinition of what this idiom
means and I never thought twiceabout it until I ended up where
I'm living now.
So the backstory.
I think it was about nine yearsago I was living on the west
coast of British Columbia,canada.
(07:35):
I ended up meeting my nowhusband and he was over there on
a work contract for 12 monthsand his home is here in Quebec,
canada, and so he's a Frenchspeaking Quebecois.
And as we were dating, itbecame clear, as his work
contract was ending and mymother was diagnosed with
(07:57):
terminal cancer, that it wastime to pack up where I was and
move back east.
So we ended up moving back tohis home in a town in
Lac-Saint-Jean that is 99.9%French speaking.
So I had no choice but toreally catch up on my French.
(08:21):
Now the backstory on that when Iwas in high school I did go to
French immersion, so all of mycore subjects were in French,
and I'm really grateful that Ichose to do that when I was
younger, because I developed areally good core understanding
of French.
But of course, I didn't speakFrench for 20 years and the
French that I learned in schoolwas very proper French.
(08:44):
It was all about the grammar.
It was very much about just theproper way to speak.
French that I learned in schoolwas very proper French.
It was all about the grammar.
It was very much about just theproper way to speak French.
I did not learn about theQuebecois slang and I did not
learn about idioms when I was inFrench immersion.
So, fast forward to me movingwith my husband to Quebec,
canada, living in thisFrench-only speaking place,
(09:04):
speaking French with my husbandand his teenage children, it was
only a matter of time beforethe idioms would come out, the
French idioms.
They made absolutely no senseto me.
They would say something, theywould say an idiom, and I would
just look at them with thisblank stare, like what did you
(09:24):
just say?
And it became clear as more andmore idioms came out.
They had to define the idiomand I had to memorize the idiom
and what it meant so that Icould refer back to it in my
mind whenever anybody would usean idiom.
And I started thinking aboutthis and it sparked something in
(09:46):
me.
I don't know why it did, but itdid.
And so I decided to go onlineand do a little bit of research.
And this is the other thing is,when I do research, I dive into
rabbit holes.
When I find a subject that Ineed to learn more about, I will
dive and dive and dive.
And it fascinates my husbandand I have close friends of mine
(10:10):
who are just absolutely amazedwith what I come up with when I
end up going into these rabbitholes of research.
So here I am, going intolearning about autism and I
decided to take some onlinetests and scored extremely high
on all of them.
And I did one of the tests inFrench so that I could show my
(10:32):
husband the results.
And he looked at me.
He said you would rather go toa library than a house party?
And I said yeah, and we had aconversation about that and he
went.
What do you think about this?
I ended up finding a website.
It's a great resource for youif you're wanting to learn more
(10:55):
about autism for yourself or forloved ones.
It's called embrace-autismcom.
The person who created thiswebsite is a naturopathic doctor
and it's got great resourcesand several self-assessment
tests that you can do.
Now this is the thing is theseself-assessment tests are not
(11:17):
official diagnostic tests, asmentioned on the website.
The willingness to take all ora multitude of tests may itself
be indicative of autism, and Iwould have to agree.
Now here's the thing is, once Istarted to dive into these
rabbit holes of understandingmore about autism and
recognizing myself in so much ofthe features and the diagnostic
(11:41):
criteria and looking back at mypast, especially my childhood
and going everything makes somuch more sense now Everything.
I have not received an officialdiagnosis for a number of
reasons and I'm going to go overwhy you may or you might not
want to consider getting anofficial diagnosis For myself.
(12:05):
Where I live, the medicalsystem is heavily backlogged and
where I'm located, all of themedical practitioners only speak
French and so my French isdecent, but it doesn't come as
easily to me as English and Idon't feel comfortable doing
assessment tests, especially anautism assessment test, in
(12:28):
French.
So there's a lot of limitationsto me accessing getting an
autism diagnosis where I livecurrently.
Now I can say that I'mself-diagnosed and I'm sitting
on the fence about that.
All of those self-assessmenttests that I've done, I score
extremely high, but I'm on thefence about identifying myself
(12:51):
as a self-diagnosed autistic andthat might change to observe in
people that I know, in clientsand on the internet and on
social media.
When you get a diagnosis, like Imentioned, it explains so much
(13:12):
and that's empowering and it canfeel liberating and it can feel
like wow, I finally figured apiece of my puzzle out.
This makes so much more senseand there can be this tendency
then to identify as beingautistic, to the point where it
just becomes your whole identity, and I understand that.
(13:37):
It's such an important part ofwho you are, especially when no
one has understood you, whenyou've felt so misunderstood for
so many years, especially whenpeople around you have been
trying to get you to change,telling you that you're too
weird or quirky, telling youthat who you are and what you're
(13:59):
doing isn't right and wonderingwhat about you is so broken.
And once you recognize andrealize I'm not broken, I'm
autistic, there's this weightthat's lifted off of your
shoulders, especially for me.
I know I've spent so many yearsof my life trying to fit in
(14:19):
somewhere, trying to belongsomewhere, and it could be so
easy for me to that now say Inow have an identity, I now
belong somewhere, and I think itwas the years leading up to
finally coming to thisrealization that I might be
autistic that has prevented mefrom really stepping into this
(14:41):
as an identity, and that's this.
I recently spoke about this onmy social media.
I spent a lot of years trying tofind a way to fit in, searching
for somewhere where I belonged,because I never felt like I
belonged anywhere.
And if we look at the lastseven, eight years of my life,
(15:03):
I've gone through many shifts,starting with after my mom
passed away.
I ended up in the worstautoimmune and endometriosis
flare of my life and it changedmy life.
It spiraled me into a darknight of the soul.
I lost a sense of who I am,trying to figure out who I am as
(15:24):
I was watching my physicalabilities and my future and my
capabilities and all thepotential that I had for myself
slip through my fingers likesand.
During those months and thosecouple of years, as I was
navigating these flares andfiguring out what was going on
and figuring out who I am,amidst episodes of being bed
(15:49):
bound for weeks and months at atime, I started to find
communities of other people whowere dealing with the same
issues, other people withautoimmunity and endometriosis,
and I felt like maybe that'swhere I belonged Right.
As I was diving into rabbitholes of research, trying to
(16:12):
figure out how to pull myselfout of this, and as I was
navigating, trying differentthings to manage my symptoms, I
came across the carnivore diet.
It seemed to be the miraculousthing that turned everything
around for myself.
It enabled me to get back on myfeet after being bed bound for
(16:33):
months.
And, of course, this carnivorediet.
For a naturopathic doctor, itmade absolutely no sense, but it
was also the thing that helpedgive me my life back when I was
watching it slip through myfingers.
As I was diving into rabbitholes of research about the
carnivore diet and why that mayhave been the thing that helped
(16:55):
to turn my symptoms around, Idiscovered communities based
around the carnivore diet andlow carb and I thought, well,
maybe that's where I belong.
But then, as I was continuingmy path, I was finding that the
carnivore diet was helping.
(17:15):
But it got me to a place whereI plateaued and I was actually
starting to developsensitivities to certain cuts of
meat.
So it was like I was backingmyself into a corner, even on
one of the strictest diets onthe planet.
And it was around that time ifyou've listened to some of my
(17:41):
previous podcast episodes that Istarted to explore, well, what
else is possible, what else isgoing on here.
And that's when I reallystarted to dive into doing some
of that inner emotional healingwork, and I was working with my
mother's spirit, and this iswhen I did all that work to heal
some mother wounds and developself-compassion for myself that
I had sorely lacked for most ofmy life.
(18:01):
And as I had dove into thisinner emotional healing sphere,
my health got even better and Inoticed that those food
sensitivities were waning and Iwas able to start introducing
some foods again.
And as I was doing this, I wasrecognizing that I was no longer
(18:23):
feeling like I belonged in thecarnivore community anymore
because I was introducing theseother foods.
And then, as I was goingthrough this shift, that's when
I was really starting to look atwell, do I have autism?
And between me starting tonotice this for myself and my
clientele that was coming to methat were highly sensitive
(18:45):
people more and more werestarting to question for
themselves and it was kind of anawakening moment for them and
for me.
And I decided that this timeI'm not going to make this the
same cycle as I've done in thepast with falling into
autoimmune communities, thinkingthat's where I belonged, or
(19:06):
falling into carnivorecommunities, thinking, okay,
well, if I can fit in here, thenI'm going to belong somewhere
and this is my identity.
I'm seeing now that there arecommunities, especially within
the entrepreneurial world, ofpeople, especially women with
autism and ADHD, and I sayespecially in the
(19:29):
entrepreneurial world, becausethere's this high percentage of
people with autism are notthriving in the working world
with a job for various reasons,right, especially if their needs
can't be accommodated for right.
Trying to fit yourself into aworld that's not designed for
(19:49):
you is hard.
World that's not designed foryou is hard, and so a lot of
people who are highly sensitive,are artistic, do have ADHD.
They will feel called to becomean entrepreneur and work for
themselves, so that they canwork on their terms, so that
they can design their work in away that's designed for them and
that makes absolute sense.
And I'm all for that, andactually that's a core of my
(20:14):
personal messaging and mission,which I'll get to in a minute.
But what I was noticing onsocial media is I could easily
find myself spiraling into thesame patterns that I have in the
past of I need to find a placeto belong and, oh, this is where
I belong, this is who I am.
(20:35):
And then I've come to realizethat that cycle doesn't actually
give me what I'm actuallylooking for within myself.
I don't need to identify andbecome part of a group to feel
like I belong.
Through my own process of innerhealing, I've come to recognize
(20:55):
that what needs to happen isfor me to understand myself, and
so this is why understandingthese neurotypes can be so
helpful, but then not attachingto it as an identity that allows
me to belong somewhere.
And it's so ironic, because Ispent most of my life searching
(21:20):
to belong, and now that I'vegotten to this point where I
have put enough pieces of thepuzzle together to figure out
what's actually going onunderneath the surface and who I
actually am, I no longer feellike I need to fit into a group
somewhere, and so that's why Idon't want to attach too
strongly to any one identity.
(21:41):
But I also think that it takes ajourney to get to this place,
and sometimes especially ifyou've spent so long searching
for an answer and feeling soconfused and misunderstood, and
when you finally have an answer,sometimes that pendulum needs
to swing over to the oppositeside of attaching onto this
(22:04):
identity, because it's finallysomething that fits Before.
Then you can loosen the gripand find somewhere in the middle
where you understand that itmakes up a piece of you, but
it's not the whole you, and Ithink this is the thing for all
of us.
You know, understanding theseaspects about ourselves again is
so empowering and it explainsone piece of a much bigger
(22:29):
picture about ourselves.
We are are all multifactorial,multilayered beings, and
understanding our neurotype isone piece of a much bigger
puzzle, but it's also a veryempowering piece.
So, if you've been questioning,is it possible that I'm
autistic or ADHD?
(22:51):
Now, if you're listening to this, maybe you've questioned and
you've already had an answer,and I'd be interested to know
how much of this resonates ordoesn't resonate, or how much of
my story might resonate oroverlap with yours.
And this is the thingeveryone's story is different.
There's going to be some thingsthat resonate and some things
(23:12):
that don't.
And, as with all things, takeanything that I say with a grain
of salt, because my experienceis not going to be the same as
your experience.
Take what you need and leavethe rest behind, but hopefully,
in all of the episodes that Ishare here, there's going to be
something that might help you toput together another piece of
your own personal puzzle.
(23:32):
Now, if you've been questioningand you're not sure yet, you
might be asking should I seek adiagnosis?
I've had many conversations withpeople who've been questioning
whether or not, they should seeka diagnosis.
And there's two fairly commoncamps that I tend to see.
There's one group of people whodon't want to get a diagnosis.
(23:55):
It's enough for them torecognize themselves in this
neurotype so that they canbetter understand what they're
about and how they operate.
But they don't want to have anofficial diagnosis for a variety
of reasons, often because theydon't want to have it on their
medical file, maybe for work,maybe for life insurance or for
(24:17):
other purposes.
They're just comfortable toknow that yeah, I'm quite likely
autistic and I don't need to gofurther with a diagnosis.
And then there's another schoolof thought where somebody
really wants to have thatdiagnosis so they can have that
confirmation.
Because when you have thatconfirmation, I understand that
(24:38):
that can feel so liberating andfreeing and confirming.
And so for some people theywant the diagnosis, to get the
confirmation, so that they canfinally maybe trust something
about themselves after all theseyears of gaslighting themselves
out of being who they are.
And for some people, having adiagnosis can be really helpful
(24:59):
so that they can get theaccommodations that they need as
a neurodivergent person andmaybe get the support in terms
of disability or get thoseaccommodations in school or with
work or whatever it is for them.
Having that diagnosis ishelpful for them for these
reasons and many others, and soyou might be in one camp or the
(25:23):
other, or there might besomething else.
The key is for you to do whatfeels most aligned for you, and
if you're having troubledeciding, what I suggest that
you might want to consider doingis actually going back to the
last five episodes In my podcast.
I did a five-day, five-episodetraining on how to truly trust
(25:47):
your intuition and makedecisions in the most aligned
way for yourself, according toyour design and according to how
you operate and think.
And listening to those fiveepisodes and practicing the
tools that I suggest and takingin the concepts and the
perspective shifts that I sharein those five episodes might
(26:08):
help you to come to a morealigned decision for yourself as
to what you might want to do,whether or not you want to seek
out a diagnosis or not.
And one thing I often suggestfor people who are seeking a
diagnosis is that not allpractitioners will be the same,
and this is the same in themedical system with anything,
(26:31):
but especially if, say, forexample, you're looking for an
autism diagnosis and you're awoman, you might want to screen
out the practitioner and seewhether or not they are
knowledgeable about A diagnosingin adults, because that's very
different than diagnosing inchildren and B whether or not
(26:52):
they are familiar with autismand how it presents in females.
So an adult female is going tobe very different than
diagnosing a male child, forexample.
So that would be my suggestionto you if you are seeking out a
diagnosis, to make sure that thediagnosing practitioner is
(27:13):
familiar with diagnosing inadults and, if you're a female,
diagnosing in adult females.
Otherwise, there might be apossibility of disappointment,
even if you strongly havesuspected that if you were to be
diagnosed, you would likely beautistic.
Now, technically, in terms ofautism, there's not necessarily
(27:34):
any treatment per se, comparedto say, for example, what might
be considered for somebody whomight be diagnosed with ADHD.
I'm going to talk about in aminute about what can be
incredibly supportive forsomebody who has autism to
increase your potential andfunctionality.
Now, if you suspect that youmight have ADHD, for example,
(27:57):
getting a diagnosis might openup a pathway to medical
treatment, if that's somethingthat you would like to try.
And again, when it comes tothat, getting medication for
some people, they would wantthat to support their ability to
focus and their overallwell-being, and some people are
(28:17):
not interested in takingmedication.
As with any medication, there'sside effects, and so there's
always this pro and con listthat needs to happen in terms of
whether or not that issomething that feels aligned for
you.
Some people have found thattaking medication for ADHD can
be incredibly helpful, and somepeople don't like taking those
(28:40):
medications because of the sideeffects, and that's always a
personal decision, and I'm nothere to talk about being
diagnosed.
I'm not here to talk aboutwhether or not to take
medications or what medicationsare involved.
I will talk about a few thingsto consider that are going to
help to support all of us withany type of neurodiversity.
(29:04):
Whether or not you decide toseek out diagnosis or seek out
medical treatment, the thingsthat I find that are incredibly
important are A understandyourself this is where learning
about these traits andunderstanding how you're wired
can be incredibly empowering andalso understanding what your
(29:26):
particular needs are, andanybody and everyone is going to
have a different set of needs.
You're highly sensitive ifyou're autistic, if you're ADHD,
if you have another neurotypein terms of neurodivergence, and
even within each of theseneurotypes.
Different people will have adifferent set of needs,
(29:46):
especially in terms ofsupporting your nervous system,
right?
So your nervous system and yourbrain are wired differently
than the neurotypical populationand so, depending on how you're
wired, you might have differentsets of sensitivities that you
might need to accommodate for,whether that be photosensitivity
(30:06):
, or whether that be noises ortastes or textures, or and
there's so many examples hereyour senses are definitely one
thing to take into account whenit comes to your specific
nervous system needs andunderstanding how your senses
(30:29):
respond or don't respond tocertain things, and then how you
think, how your brain processesthings.
These are examples ofunderstanding how you operate
and how your neurotype operates,and the next step?
So the first step isunderstanding yourself and the
next step is accepting thesethings about yourself,
(30:52):
especially if you've beenconditioned to believe that
these things are unacceptable.
If these things are wrong, ifthese things about you are flaws
that need to be fixed, youprobably don't accept these
things about yourself.
You've likely been shamingthese features about yourself
away.
You've likely been playingsmall, hiding these features
about yourself or maskingyourself so that these features
(31:15):
that might seem weird or strangeor quirky don't come out, so
that you can try to blend inwith the neurotypical population
.
When you do this, when you don'town who you are, when you don't
accept who you are, when you'retrying to fight against it,
when you're rejecting who youare, then you're putting
(31:36):
additional stress on yournervous system and you're not
going to thrive and you'relikely going to struggle.
You're going to struggleemotionally and over time with
all of this pressure on yournervous system.
It's going to impact yourphysiology as well.
I've mentioned in previousepisodes about how your nervous
(31:56):
system is the bridge betweenyour inner emotional terrain and
every single physiologicalsystem in your body.
And if you're putting all thispressure on your nervous system
through judgment and criticismand trying to be different and
trying to change yourself andnot accepting yourself over time
, your physiology is going to beimpacted as well as your mental
(32:18):
wellness.
And so step two is accepting whoyou are, accepting these
features about yourself andhaving compassion and I talk all
about that in lesson four oflast week's five-day learning
series, how self-compassion issuch an important key to
(32:39):
thriving, especially as a highlysensitive person.
And if you haven't beenaccepting yourself, you're not
going to have a lot ofself-compassion for yourself.
And so step 2.5,.
Step 3, I would say, isself-compassion Developing that
self-compassion for yourselfwith unconditional love.
(32:59):
This is an important key tohealing and this is an important
key to you actually steppinginto a higher level of
functionality and thriving as aneurodivergent person.
As I mentioned in part fourlast week of the training series
(33:19):
, studies show for highlysensitive people, when you do
put yourself in a positivelysupportive environment, both
from within and put yourself ina positively supportive
environment in terms ofaccommodating for your nervous
system needs, then studies showthat this leads to something
(33:39):
called vantage sensitivity andstudies show that this leads to
something called vantagesensitivity, which means that
your level of functionality andthriving is going to go up and
it will be significantly higherthan any improvements that a
less sensitive or neurotypicalperson is going to experience
putting themselves in an equallypositively supportive
environment.
(34:00):
It's that important and it'ssomething that, especially those
of us who haven't beenaccepting of ourselves and
haven't accepted ourneurodivergence and we've been
trying to fit in, we've beentrying to find somewhere to
belong and we think that there'ssomething wrong with us.
We're likely not supportingourselves in a way that provides
vantage sensitivity and this isone of the reasons why so many
(34:24):
of us with neurodivergence don'tthrive, especially those of us
who are highly sensitive people.
You know, I came across a fewcomments the other day from
people who are neurodivergentand they do not believe that it
is possible to thrive as anautistic person.
From what I've observed from myown personal experience and
(34:47):
through working with my clients,is that one of the things that
causes those of us withneurodivergence especially
highly sensitive people andespecially those of us with
autism, we don't thrive when wedon't accept ourselves.
We don't thrive when we don'thave compassion for ourselves.
We won't thrive if we are notaccommodating for our own
(35:09):
particular unique nervous systemneeds and we won't thrive if
we're not owning the strengthsand gifts that come with our
neurodivergence.
And so this is step three isgetting to know your strengths
and your gifts as aneurodivergence.
And so this is.
Step three is getting to knowyour strengths and your gifts as
a neurodivergent person,whether that be a highly
sensitive person, autistic, adhd.
There's a lot of overlappinggifts and there's a lot of
(35:31):
unique gifts that come with eachof the different neurotypes and
when you come to accept themand own them and leverage them,
you can leverage these over andabove your professional skills,
especially when you're anentrepreneur, especially when
you're a coach or a practitioner.
And you've got theseprofessional skills, you can
take these gifts that come withyour neurodivergence and you
(35:53):
leverage them and own them andlean into them.
I recently came across astatistic that when you focus on
your strengths and leveragethem, that you can increase your
quality of life by 600%.
Like that's huge.
And this takes us accepting whowe are and supporting our needs
with compassion and leveragingthe gifts.
(36:16):
And when we do these things,then the challenges that come
with these neurodivergentneurotypes become less
challenging, they become lessoverbearing, they become less
overwhelming.
And this is the thing whenyou're not accepting yourself,
when you're shaming yourself,when you're trying to fit in and
belong, when you're trying tochange who you are, when you're
(36:38):
not accommodating for yourneurodivergent needs, when
you're doing all of these thingsand you've got all this
pressure on your nervous system,then the challenging aspects of
your neurotype are going topredominate.
They're going to be the thingsthat are more front and center
and you're going to feel morechallenged.
You're going to feel moreoverwhelmed.
When you accept yourself, whenyou have compassion for yourself
(37:00):
, when you can give yourselfgrace, when you can give
yourself the time that you need,when you can shift around your
schedule and the way you operateand work and create boundaries
and standards in your businessthat work for you and your
neurotype, and when you leverageyour gifts as a neurodivergent
person in your work and youfocus on your strength and you
(37:24):
focus what you really love,without trying to force yourself
to be someone that you're not,without forcing yourself to do
things because that's what otherpeople do.
That's when the strengths comeout.
That's when you have thispossibility to A increase your
level of functionality and Bthrive.
(37:46):
And I think this is the thingthat's not talked about enough.
And I mean the other thing aswell as a neurodivergent person.
If you are trying to compareyourself to a neurotypical
person and saying, but I don'tlook just like that, so I'm not
thriving in terms of how my lifefunctions, then you're always
going to be in this constantvicious cycle of comparison that
(38:12):
will never allow you to thrive.
Thriving might not look likethe person sitting beside you,
but I want to ask you if you'rewondering I don't know.
I'm neurodivergent, I'mautistic, I'm highly sensitive,
I'm ADHD and I'm not thriving.
Are you supporting your nervoussystem?
Are you accepting of who youare?
(38:34):
Do you have compassion foryourself?
Do you recognize the gifts andstrengths that you have and are
you leveraging them?
These are four questions to askyourself seriously, and if you
say no to any of those, thenthat might be a piece of your
puzzle to look at to help youfind a more connected level of
(38:58):
functionality within yourself.
And then the other piece tothat that I had mentioned in the
day four, training, was are youin a positively supportive
environment?
And part of that is what I'vealready mentioned about
accommodating for your nervoussystem needs and supporting your
nervous system so that you havea wider window of tolerance
(39:20):
nervous system so that you havea wider window of tolerance,
developing stronger vagal toneand higher heart rate
variability and coherence.
But also, what's the companythat you're surrounding yourself
with, the people around you?
Are they supportive?
And this can be a big questiondepending on where you are in
your life and what's going on inyour world.
(39:41):
I know for myself in my past Iused to be in a romantic
relationship with somebody whothought that my sensitivity was
a flaw and constantly told methat I needed to grow a thicker
skin, and he committed himselfto helping me grow a thicker
skin and telling me that it wasfor my own good, because there's
no way that I could survive inthis world being as sensitive as
(40:04):
I am.
You know I'm not saying this toshame or blame him.
I can see his point of view,based on his conditioning that
he thought he was trying to helpme, but, as a highly sensitive
person, studies show that whenyou are in a negatively
supportive environment,especially with people who do
(40:24):
not support or accept you, thenyou're not going to thrive.
And I spoke in training forlast week about my experience
with my mother, and she wasalways telling me that I was too
sensitive, right up to thepoint where, just before she
passed away, she told me there'sone thing that I can do for
myself to improve myself as aperson is to be less sensitive.
(40:47):
And so, of course, I ended upin this romantic relationship
that parroted the same message.
But the thing is, looking backat myself.
When I was in that relationship,I was not thriving.
I was constantly anxious andunsure of myself.
Part of the reason was becausethe main relationship in my life
(41:12):
with my romantic relationship,was negatively supportive.
It was not a supportiverelationship.
When I left that relationship.
I went to therapy to get somesupport and moved through a lot
of issues and healed some ofthose wounds, did some work to
identify the type of person thatI wanted to welcome in my life
(41:38):
as a romantic relationship.
I'd learned some lessons aboutwhat to look for and what I want
and what I don't want, andrecognizing what you don't want
can be so clarifying.
That will probably be a wholeother podcast episode for
another day.
So when I met my now husband,he's a completely different
(41:59):
person than who I've been within my past.
He's very supportive andaccepting and understanding
about my sensitivity.
Now there's a strongpossibility that he's likely
neurodivergent as well.
Without going into any details,that's likely why he
understands me and that's likelywhy he is so positively
(42:20):
supportive towards me, becausehe gets me, because there's so
many things about each of usthat are very similar.
Looking at my life now in thisrelationship with somebody who's
the closest relationship in mylife and he's so positively
supportive of who I am and howI'm built and how I operate, has
changed the game dramaticallyand I can see it in how I
(42:44):
operate, especially how I run mybusiness.
I can see how much that haschanged my level of
functionality, my level ofthriving and my ability to
connect with my own deepestsense of purpose, mission and
vision.
Because I've been able to leaninto my strengths, because I've
(43:05):
developed this vantagesensitivity of being surrounded
by somebody who's the mostimportant person in my life, who
is so positively supportive,and then pair that with all the
work that I've done to developself-compassion for myself.
After I did all of this innerhealing work over these last
(43:25):
several years, of course I'mthriving so much more than I
ever have in my past, and thishas positively impacted my work,
not only my own level ofenjoyment and my purpose and
satisfaction and my success, butalso the level of
transformation that I'm able tofacilitate for my clientele and
(43:47):
the impact that I can providefor them.
And I've talked about that aswell in episode five of last
week's training.
But it's this deeper inner workof having compassion for myself
and accepting myself andunderstanding who I really am
and putting myself in apositively supportive
environment, both in myrelationships with my husband,
(44:10):
who so positively supports me,and also doing business on my
terms, where I'm setting up theschedule that works for me and
my environment that works for mein terms of supporting my
nervous system needs and workingwith the clientele.
That really lights up my souland energizes me, and focusing
(44:31):
on the topics and focus thatenergize me.
As I've spoken about in previouspodcast episodes, I like going
deep and it really drains me tostay in the superficial and not
everybody in this world wants togo deep.
That's okay.
But on the other side of thetoken, me pretending and me
(44:52):
masking and me trying to staysuperficial to appease the
people that don't want to godeep it drains me and exhausts
me.
It's not doing them a favorbecause I'm not giving them
everything that probably thatthey're looking for, that they
could get from anotherpractitioner that would give
them exactly the type ofconnection they're looking for,
(45:13):
and I'm not giving my all to whoI'm here to be destined to
serve, and those are the peoplewho love to go deep.
And so all of this has helpedme find my next level in my
business and my next level ofperformance in terms of the
impact that I can make for thepeople that I'm destined to
serve and the level of successthat I experience, not only
(45:36):
financial success, but thatlevel of inner fulfillment and
satisfaction.
All of that is important,especially for those of us who
are highly sensitive people,finding meaning is such an
important aspect to our livesand living in a place from
connected authenticity.
(45:56):
So I know I've gone.
I've diverted a little bit fromthe main topic today.
It's all sort of connected.
Going back to the question, areyou questioning if you might
have autism or ADHD?
Especially if you've beenfollowing me?
You're a highly sensitiveperson and especially if you're
a highly sensitive entrepreneur,coach or practitioner and
(46:17):
you're wondering if maybethere's this possibility that
you might also have autism orADHD and whether or not.
Should I look into this?
Is this a thing?
Is this a possibility?
Should I get diagnosed orshouldn't I?
So I've talked about andtouched upon those different
things.
It's a personal choice foreverybody and we all have
different reasonings for why orwhy not or which direction that
(46:40):
we want to go, and I encourageeverybody to do what feels most
aligned for you, not what otherpeople tell you to do, not what
the expectations say.
So I hope today's podcast hasgiven you some perspectives to
consider If you've beenquestioning whether or not
(47:04):
autism or ADHD might be a pieceof your puzzle, of your bigger
picture, and I know if you'requestioning whether autism is a
piece of your picture.
You have probably dived intoall sorts of other topics and
perspectives to understand thisdeeper, so I hope that what I've
shared here has just given youanother piece to help you better
(47:25):
understand everything foryourself.
I know for the clients that Ihave guided through mentorship,
many of them have come to arealization, either before we
start working together or whilewe're working together, that
they do indeed have autism orADHD, and that's absolutely
empowering.
(47:46):
And knowing this piece of thepuzzle, we can work with that to
help you identify even moreclearly what your particular
nervous system and neurotypeneeds are so that you can
accommodate them, especially asa business owner, coach or
practitioner, so that you canoperate your business on your
(48:07):
terms that is supportive andgives you that positive,
supportive environment, so thatyou can work at your highest
potential, at your highest levelof functionality, up levellevel
your business and accept andown and leverage your gifts as a
neurodivergent person, becausethat's what's going to help you
(48:30):
create that bigger impact thatyou know that you are here to
deliver in your lifetime, toleave that meaningful legacy If
that's something that you knowthat you want to explore more
deeply to up-level your businessto operate at your fullest
potential, especially as ahighly sensitive, potentially
(48:53):
autistic or ADHD entrepreneur,coach or practitioner, you know
that you want to make the shiftsand adjustments, to be
operating your business on yourterms, connected with your
mission, vision and purpose, anddoing things in a way that are
positively supportive foryourself, both within your own
(49:13):
inner emotional environmentfilled with self-compassion, and
also making the changes aroundyourself within your business so
that you can truly thrive andmake that deeper impact.
And you want to do thatefficiently and quickly.
You don't want to spend yearsdoing this.
This is what I do, and so I canhelp you get there way faster
(49:37):
than if you're trying to sortthrough all of this on your own,
because it can be really hardto see all of your puzzle pieces
and your blind spots and thethings that you can't see yet.
And I can help you see thatwider perspective and help you
come up with the action plansand the strategy and make those
(49:57):
inner shifts and the perspectiveshifts and how you see yourself
and your business and identifywhat you really want and what
your purpose, mission and visiontruly is and move forward with
that quickly and efficiently.
So if that's something thatyou're looking for.
Don't hesitate to reach out.
You can find more informationabout my three-month mentorship
(50:20):
business on your terms in theshow notes below, or you can
send me a message and let meknow that you're interested in
applying and we'll have aconversation just to make sure
that you're a fit, because it'sreally when we both feel like we
are a fit to work together thatthat's when the magic truly
happens.
So if that sounds likesomething you're looking for and
(50:41):
you know this is your time, I'mlooking forward to hearing from
you.
Otherwise, I hope that this washelpful or insightful or
informative for you in some wayand I look forward to speaking
to you again in the next episode.
Thank you for being here.
Hello and welcome back.
I'm so glad that you're here.
Today's episode we're talkingabout have you questioned
whether or not you might haveautism or ADHD, especially as a
highly sensitive entrepreneur,coach or practitioner?
Now, I'm bringing this upbecause I have had a lot of
(00:21):
questions from followers and theexperiences that I've had
personally and that I haveguided many of my clients
through.
There's been a very commontheme of questioning whether you
might have the neurodivergentneurotype of autism or ADHD,
(00:41):
especially if you're a highlysensitive person, because highly
sensitive person or sensoryprocessing sensitivity is a form
of neurodivergence.
And here's the thing is thatthere can be a lot of overlap
between sensory processingsensitivity, autism and ADHD.
Now there are some people thatI'm noticing on the internet
(01:03):
that are saying, well, if you'rea highly sensitive person, that
automatically means that you'reautistic, and I don't believe
that to be true, because thereare a subset of the population
that have autism, that do nothave high sensitivity, and some
that even have hyposensitivity.
What I believe it is is thatthere are an overlap of traits
(01:26):
and neurotype features thatoverlap between the two
different neurotypes, and that'swhy there's also a lot of
commonality between highlysensitive people and some people
who have ADHD.
The medical field is starting torecognize that some people can
have both autism and ADHD, whichis now being termed AU ADHD.
(01:49):
Now, this is the thing If welook back in the history of
diagnosing for autism,historically, if one was
diagnosed with autism, then therubric said that it was
impossible for that patient toalso have ADHD, and now they're
seeing that that's not true, andthis is just proof about how
(02:10):
medical trends and diagnosticscan shift and change as we start
to understand more and more,and especially when it comes to
autism, especially if you're afemale.
Historically the research onautism was done primarily on
males, especially boys, youngboys.
As the research has widened andthey're looking more into a
(02:33):
wider subset of the population,they're seeing that not only is
autism something that is presentin females, but oftentimes it
looks very different than whatit looks like traditionally from
the research that was done onmales.
If you're interested in divingdeeper into any of this, before
I forget, I want to suggest abook to check out that you might
(02:56):
find interesting andinformative, and the book is
called Divergent Mind Thrivingin a World that Wasn't Designed
for you, and the author's nameis Janera Nirenberg, and this
book speaks about some of thedifferent neurotypes of
neurodivergence, and especiallyin the female population.
(03:19):
I found this to be a reallyempowering book.
It really helped me betterunderstand myself as a woman who
is neurodivergent, especiallyfor the fact that I've always
felt different.
Reading this book helped me tounderstand some things about
myself that I didn't understandbefore, and this is the thing
(03:40):
that I find with my clients andsome of the people that reach
out to me that follow me is thatwhen you understand more about
yourself, then you canunderstand why you do the things
that you do, and that'sempowering.
The more you understand aboutyourself, the more empowered you
can feel, instead of wonderingwhy is this happening to me, why
(04:02):
can't I fit in, why can't I doit like these other people?
And especially for those of uswho are neurodivergent, when we
look at, say, for example,sensory processing sensitivity
or highly sensitive people, thatmakes up about 20 to 30% of the
population, and so that meansthat our nervous system and our
brain is wired differently than80% of the population, and so
(04:26):
that means, of course, we're notgoing to function the same as
most of the people around us.
And, as I talked about in lastweek's five-day training on day
four, when the people around usdon't understand our differences
, especially when we areneurodivergent, then we can be
(04:47):
led to believe, and conditionedto believe, that there's
something wrong with us and thatthere's something about us that
we need to change, fix, hide ormask, and so masking is a very
common term that is used,especially in the autism world.
About masking or hiding who youtruly are masking or hiding
(05:09):
those traits that maybe otherpeople might think are quirky or
weird, in order to try to blendin or fit in or not stand out,
and I know that was the case forme for pretty much most of my
life.
Turning back to the main focusof the topic of conversation for
today's podcast episode is areyou questioning whether you
(05:30):
might have autism or ADHD,especially if you identify as a
highly sensitive person, whichyou probably do if you follow me
and if you're listening to thispodcast, you're following this
podcast, and so there is asubset of the highly sensitive
population who is also going toidentify as having autism or
(05:51):
ADHD.
Now my personal experience.
I'm going to be speaking morefocused and highlighting autism
versus ADHD.
I'm going to speak from my ownlived experience today, and so,
as you already know I identifyas a highly sensitive person
with sensory processingsensitivity.
(06:12):
A number of years back Istarted to explore and was
opened up to the possibilitycould I also be autistic?
And it was a really interestingthing that started me on this
road of looking at myself andwhether or not I might have
autism.
(06:32):
So as a naturopathic doctor, Ialready knew a fair amount about
autism and the criteria fordiagnoses, and I knew that one
of the things that is a verycommon feature of somebody who
has autism is they might have adifficult time understanding
idioms.
Examples of idioms could bethings like the straw that broke
(06:53):
the camel's back, like a fishout of water kill two birds with
one stone.
You know these are just a fewexamples of many.
I never thought twice aboutthis for myself.
I do remember when I wouldlearn some of these phrases when
I was a child.
They would have to be explainedto me and then I would memorize
(07:14):
the idiom and then, wheneveranyone would say it, I would
just refer back to the memorizeddefinition of what this idiom
means and I never thought twiceabout it until I ended up where
I'm living now.
So the backstory.
I think it was about nine yearsago I was living on the west
coast of British Columbia,canada.
(07:35):
I ended up meeting my nowhusband and he was over there on
a work contract for 12 monthsand his home is here in Quebec,
canada, and so he's a Frenchspeaking Quebecois.
And as we were dating, itbecame clear, as his work
contract was ending and mymother was diagnosed with
(07:57):
terminal cancer, that it wastime to pack up where I was and
move back east.
So we ended up moving back tohis home in a town in
Lac-Saint-Jean that is 99.9%French speaking.
So I had no choice but toreally catch up on my French.
(08:21):
Now the backstory on that when Iwas in high school I did go to
French immersion, so all of mycore subjects were in French,
and I'm really grateful that Ichose to do that when I was
younger, because I developed areally good core understanding
of French.
But of course, I didn't speakFrench for 20 years and the
French that I learned in schoolwas very proper French.
(08:44):
It was all about the grammar.
It was very much about just theproper way to speak.
French that I learned in schoolwas very proper French.
It was all about the grammar.
It was very much about just theproper way to speak French.
I did not learn about theQuebecois slang and I did not
learn about idioms when I was inFrench immersion.
So, fast forward to me movingwith my husband to Quebec,
canada, living in thisFrench-only speaking place,
(09:04):
speaking French with my husbandand his teenage children, it was
only a matter of time beforethe idioms would come out, the
French idioms.
They made absolutely no senseto me.
They would say something, theywould say an idiom, and I would
just look at them with thisblank stare, like what did you
(09:24):
just say?
And it became clear as more andmore idioms came out.
They had to define the idiomand I had to memorize the idiom
and what it meant so that Icould refer back to it in my
mind whenever anybody would usean idiom.
And I started thinking aboutthis and it sparked something in
(09:46):
me.
I don't know why it did, but itdid.
And so I decided to go onlineand do a little bit of research.
And this is the other thing is,when I do research, I dive into
rabbit holes.
When I find a subject that Ineed to learn more about, I will
dive and dive and dive.
And it fascinates my husbandand I have close friends of mine
(10:10):
who are just absolutely amazedwith what I come up with when I
end up going into these rabbitholes of research.
So here I am, going intolearning about autism and I
decided to take some onlinetests and scored extremely high
on all of them.
And I did one of the tests inFrench so that I could show my
(10:32):
husband the results.
And he looked at me.
He said you would rather go toa library than a house party?
And I said yeah, and we had aconversation about that and he
went.
What do you think about this?
I ended up finding a website.
It's a great resource for youif you're wanting to learn more
(10:55):
about autism for yourself or forloved ones.
It's called embrace-autismcom.
The person who created thiswebsite is a naturopathic doctor
and it's got great resourcesand several self-assessment
tests that you can do.
Now this is the thing is theseself-assessment tests are not
(11:17):
official diagnostic tests, asmentioned on the website.
The willingness to take all ora multitude of tests may itself
be indicative of autism, and Iwould have to agree.
Now here's the thing is, once Istarted to dive into these
rabbit holes of understandingmore about autism and
recognizing myself in so much ofthe features and the diagnostic
(11:41):
criteria and looking back at mypast, especially my childhood
and going everything makes somuch more sense now Everything.
I have not received an officialdiagnosis for a number of
reasons and I'm going to go overwhy you may or you might not
want to consider getting anofficial diagnosis For myself.
(12:05):
Where I live, the medicalsystem is heavily backlogged and
where I'm located, all of themedical practitioners only speak
French and so my French isdecent, but it doesn't come as
easily to me as English and Idon't feel comfortable doing
assessment tests, especially anautism assessment test, in
(12:28):
French.
So there's a lot of limitationsto me accessing getting an
autism diagnosis where I livecurrently.
Now I can say that I'mself-diagnosed and I'm sitting
on the fence about that.
All of those self-assessmenttests that I've done, I score
extremely high, but I'm on thefence about identifying myself
(12:51):
as a self-diagnosed autistic andthat might change to observe in
people that I know, in clientsand on the internet and on
social media.
When you get a diagnosis, like Imentioned, it explains so much
(13:12):
and that's empowering and it canfeel liberating and it can feel
like wow, I finally figured apiece of my puzzle out.
This makes so much more senseand there can be this tendency
then to identify as beingautistic, to the point where it
just becomes your whole identity, and I understand that.
(13:37):
It's such an important part ofwho you are, especially when no
one has understood you, whenyou've felt so misunderstood for
so many years, especially whenpeople around you have been
trying to get you to change,telling you that you're too
weird or quirky, telling youthat who you are and what you're
(13:59):
doing isn't right and wonderingwhat about you is so broken.
And once you recognize andrealize I'm not broken, I'm
autistic, there's this weightthat's lifted off of your
shoulders, especially for me.
I know I've spent so many yearsof my life trying to fit in
(14:19):
somewhere, trying to belongsomewhere, and it could be so
easy for me to that now say Inow have an identity, I now
belong somewhere, and I think itwas the years leading up to
finally coming to thisrealization that I might be
autistic that has prevented mefrom really stepping into this
(14:41):
as an identity, and that's this.
I recently spoke about this onmy social media.
I spent a lot of years trying tofind a way to fit in, searching
for somewhere where I belonged,because I never felt like I
belonged anywhere.
And if we look at the lastseven, eight years of my life,
(15:03):
I've gone through many shifts,starting with after my mom
passed away.
I ended up in the worstautoimmune and endometriosis
flare of my life and it changedmy life.
It spiraled me into a darknight of the soul.
I lost a sense of who I am,trying to figure out who I am as
(15:24):
I was watching my physicalabilities and my future and my
capabilities and all thepotential that I had for myself
slip through my fingers likesand.
During those months and thosecouple of years, as I was
navigating these flares andfiguring out what was going on
and figuring out who I am,amidst episodes of being bed
(15:49):
bound for weeks and months at atime, I started to find
communities of other people whowere dealing with the same
issues, other people withautoimmunity and endometriosis,
and I felt like maybe that'swhere I belonged Right.
As I was diving into rabbitholes of research, trying to
(16:12):
figure out how to pull myselfout of this, and as I was
navigating, trying differentthings to manage my symptoms, I
came across the carnivore diet.
It seemed to be the miraculousthing that turned everything
around for myself.
It enabled me to get back on myfeet after being bed bound for
(16:33):
months.
And, of course, this carnivorediet.
For a naturopathic doctor, itmade absolutely no sense, but it
was also the thing that helpedgive me my life back when I was
watching it slip through myfingers.
As I was diving into rabbitholes of research about the
carnivore diet and why that mayhave been the thing that helped
(16:55):
to turn my symptoms around, Idiscovered communities based
around the carnivore diet andlow carb and I thought, well,
maybe that's where I belong.
But then, as I was continuingmy path, I was finding that the
carnivore diet was helping.
(17:15):
But it got me to a place whereI plateaued and I was actually
starting to developsensitivities to certain cuts of
meat.
So it was like I was backingmyself into a corner, even on
one of the strictest diets onthe planet.
And it was around that time ifyou've listened to some of my
(17:41):
previous podcast episodes that Istarted to explore, well, what
else is possible, what else isgoing on here.
And that's when I reallystarted to dive into doing some
of that inner emotional healingwork, and I was working with my
mother's spirit, and this iswhen I did all that work to heal
some mother wounds and developself-compassion for myself that
I had sorely lacked for most ofmy life.
(18:01):
And as I had dove into thisinner emotional healing sphere,
my health got even better and Inoticed that those food
sensitivities were waning and Iwas able to start introducing
some foods again.
And as I was doing this, I wasrecognizing that I was no longer
(18:23):
feeling like I belonged in thecarnivore community anymore
because I was introducing theseother foods.
And then, as I was goingthrough this shift, that's when
I was really starting to look atwell, do I have autism?
And between me starting tonotice this for myself and my
clientele that was coming to methat were highly sensitive
(18:45):
people more and more werestarting to question for
themselves and it was kind of anawakening moment for them and
for me.
And I decided that this timeI'm not going to make this the
same cycle as I've done in thepast with falling into
autoimmune communities, thinkingthat's where I belonged, or
(19:06):
falling into carnivorecommunities, thinking, okay,
well, if I can fit in here, thenI'm going to belong somewhere
and this is my identity.
I'm seeing now that there arecommunities, especially within
the entrepreneurial world, ofpeople, especially women with
autism and ADHD, and I sayespecially in the
(19:29):
entrepreneurial world, becausethere's this high percentage of
people with autism are notthriving in the working world
with a job for various reasons,right, especially if their needs
can't be accommodated for right.
Trying to fit yourself into aworld that's not designed for
(19:49):
you is hard.
World that's not designed foryou is hard, and so a lot of
people who are highly sensitive,are artistic, do have ADHD.
They will feel called to becomean entrepreneur and work for
themselves, so that they canwork on their terms, so that
they can design their work in away that's designed for them and
that makes absolute sense.
And I'm all for that, andactually that's a core of my
(20:14):
personal messaging and mission,which I'll get to in a minute.
But what I was noticing onsocial media is I could easily
find myself spiraling into thesame patterns that I have in the
past of I need to find a placeto belong and, oh, this is where
I belong, this is who I am.
(20:35):
And then I've come to realizethat that cycle doesn't actually
give me what I'm actuallylooking for within myself.
I don't need to identify andbecome part of a group to feel
like I belong.
Through my own process of innerhealing, I've come to recognize
(20:55):
that what needs to happen isfor me to understand myself, and
so this is why understandingthese neurotypes can be so
helpful, but then not attachingto it as an identity that allows
me to belong somewhere.
And it's so ironic, because Ispent most of my life searching
(21:20):
to belong, and now that I'vegotten to this point where I
have put enough pieces of thepuzzle together to figure out
what's actually going onunderneath the surface and who I
actually am, I no longer feellike I need to fit into a group
somewhere, and so that's why Idon't want to attach too
strongly to any one identity.
(21:41):
But I also think that it takes ajourney to get to this place,
and sometimes especially ifyou've spent so long searching
for an answer and feeling soconfused and misunderstood, and
when you finally have an answer,sometimes that pendulum needs
to swing over to the oppositeside of attaching onto this
(22:04):
identity, because it's finallysomething that fits Before.
Then you can loosen the gripand find somewhere in the middle
where you understand that itmakes up a piece of you, but
it's not the whole you, and Ithink this is the thing for all
of us.
You know, understanding theseaspects about ourselves again is
so empowering and it explainsone piece of a much bigger
(22:29):
picture about ourselves.
We are are all multifactorial,multilayered beings, and
understanding our neurotype isone piece of a much bigger
puzzle, but it's also a veryempowering piece.
So, if you've been questioning,is it possible that I'm
autistic or ADHD?
(22:51):
Now, if you're listening to this, maybe you've questioned and
you've already had an answer,and I'd be interested to know
how much of this resonates ordoesn't resonate, or how much of
my story might resonate oroverlap with yours.
And this is the thingeveryone's story is different.
There's going to be some thingsthat resonate and some things
(23:12):
that don't.
And, as with all things, takeanything that I say with a grain
of salt, because my experienceis not going to be the same as
your experience.
Take what you need and leavethe rest behind, but hopefully,
in all of the episodes that Ishare here, there's going to be
something that might help you toput together another piece of
your own personal puzzle.
(23:32):
Now, if you've been questioningand you're not sure yet, you
might be asking should I seek adiagnosis?
I've had many conversations withpeople who've been questioning
whether or not, they should seeka diagnosis.
And there's two fairly commoncamps that I tend to see.
There's one group of people whodon't want to get a diagnosis.
(23:55):
It's enough for them torecognize themselves in this
neurotype so that they canbetter understand what they're
about and how they operate.
But they don't want to have anofficial diagnosis for a variety
of reasons, often because theydon't want to have it on their
medical file, maybe for work,maybe for life insurance or for
(24:17):
other purposes.
They're just comfortable toknow that yeah, I'm quite likely
autistic and I don't need to gofurther with a diagnosis.
And then there's another schoolof thought where somebody
really wants to have thatdiagnosis so they can have that
confirmation.
Because when you have thatconfirmation, I understand that
(24:38):
that can feel so liberating andfreeing and confirming.
And so for some people theywant the diagnosis, to get the
confirmation, so that they canfinally maybe trust something
about themselves after all theseyears of gaslighting themselves
out of being who they are.
And for some people, having adiagnosis can be really helpful
(24:59):
so that they can get theaccommodations that they need as
a neurodivergent person andmaybe get the support in terms
of disability or get thoseaccommodations in school or with
work or whatever it is for them.
Having that diagnosis ishelpful for them for these
reasons and many others, and soyou might be in one camp or the
(25:23):
other, or there might besomething else.
The key is for you to do whatfeels most aligned for you, and
if you're having troubledeciding, what I suggest that
you might want to consider doingis actually going back to the
last five episodes In my podcast.
I did a five-day, five-episodetraining on how to truly trust
(25:47):
your intuition and makedecisions in the most aligned
way for yourself, according toyour design and according to how
you operate and think.
And listening to those fiveepisodes and practicing the
tools that I suggest and takingin the concepts and the
perspective shifts that I sharein those five episodes might
(26:08):
help you to come to a morealigned decision for yourself as
to what you might want to do,whether or not you want to seek
out a diagnosis or not.
And one thing I often suggestfor people who are seeking a
diagnosis is that not allpractitioners will be the same,
and this is the same in themedical system with anything,
(26:31):
but especially if, say, forexample, you're looking for an
autism diagnosis and you're awoman, you might want to screen
out the practitioner and seewhether or not they are
knowledgeable about A diagnosingin adults, because that's very
different than diagnosing inchildren and B whether or not
(26:52):
they are familiar with autismand how it presents in females.
So an adult female is going tobe very different than
diagnosing a male child, forexample.
So that would be my suggestionto you if you are seeking out a
diagnosis, to make sure that thediagnosing practitioner is
(27:13):
familiar with diagnosing inadults and, if you're a female,
diagnosing in adult females.
Otherwise, there might be apossibility of disappointment,
even if you strongly havesuspected that if you were to be
diagnosed, you would likely beautistic.
Now, technically, in terms ofautism, there's not necessarily
(27:34):
any treatment per se, comparedto say, for example, what might
be considered for somebody whomight be diagnosed with ADHD.
I'm going to talk about in aminute about what can be
incredibly supportive forsomebody who has autism to
increase your potential andfunctionality.
Now, if you suspect that youmight have ADHD, for example,
(27:57):
getting a diagnosis might openup a pathway to medical
treatment, if that's somethingthat you would like to try.
And again, when it comes tothat, getting medication for
some people, they would wantthat to support their ability to
focus and their overallwell-being, and some people are
(28:17):
not interested in takingmedication.
As with any medication, there'sside effects, and so there's
always this pro and con listthat needs to happen in terms of
whether or not that issomething that feels aligned for
you.
Some people have found thattaking medication for ADHD can
be incredibly helpful, and somepeople don't like taking those
(28:40):
medications because of the sideeffects, and that's always a
personal decision, and I'm nothere to talk about being
diagnosed.
I'm not here to talk aboutwhether or not to take
medications or what medicationsare involved.
I will talk about a few thingsto consider that are going to
help to support all of us withany type of neurodiversity.
(29:04):
Whether or not you decide toseek out diagnosis or seek out
medical treatment, the thingsthat I find that are incredibly
important are A understandyourself this is where learning
about these traits andunderstanding how you're wired
can be incredibly empowering andalso understanding what your
(29:26):
particular needs are, andanybody and everyone is going to
have a different set of needs.
You're highly sensitive ifyou're autistic, if you're ADHD,
if you have another neurotypein terms of neurodivergence, and
even within each of theseneurotypes.
Different people will have adifferent set of needs,
(29:46):
especially in terms ofsupporting your nervous system,
right?
So your nervous system and yourbrain are wired differently
than the neurotypical populationand so, depending on how you're
wired, you might have differentsets of sensitivities that you
might need to accommodate for,whether that be photosensitivity
(30:06):
, or whether that be noises ortastes or textures, or and
there's so many examples hereyour senses are definitely one
thing to take into account whenit comes to your specific
nervous system needs andunderstanding how your senses
(30:29):
respond or don't respond tocertain things, and then how you
think, how your brain processesthings.
These are examples ofunderstanding how you operate
and how your neurotype operates,and the next step?
So the first step isunderstanding yourself and the
next step is accepting thesethings about yourself,
(30:52):
especially if you've beenconditioned to believe that
these things are unacceptable.
If these things are wrong, ifthese things about you are flaws
that need to be fixed, youprobably don't accept these
things about yourself.
You've likely been shamingthese features about yourself
away.
You've likely been playingsmall, hiding these features
about yourself or maskingyourself so that these features
(31:15):
that might seem weird or strangeor quirky don't come out, so
that you can try to blend inwith the neurotypical population
.
When you do this, when you don'town who you are, when you don't
accept who you are, when you'retrying to fight against it,
when you're rejecting who youare, then you're putting
(31:36):
additional stress on yournervous system and you're not
going to thrive and you'relikely going to struggle.
You're going to struggleemotionally and over time with
all of this pressure on yournervous system.
It's going to impact yourphysiology as well.
I've mentioned in previousepisodes about how your nervous
(31:56):
system is the bridge betweenyour inner emotional terrain and
every single physiologicalsystem in your body.
And if you're putting all thispressure on your nervous system
through judgment and criticismand trying to be different and
trying to change yourself andnot accepting yourself over time
, your physiology is going to beimpacted as well as your mental
(32:18):
wellness.
And so step two is accepting whoyou are, accepting these
features about yourself andhaving compassion and I talk all
about that in lesson four oflast week's five-day learning
series, how self-compassion issuch an important key to
(32:39):
thriving, especially as a highlysensitive person.
And if you haven't beenaccepting yourself, you're not
going to have a lot ofself-compassion for yourself.
And so step 2.5,.
Step 3, I would say, isself-compassion Developing that
self-compassion for yourselfwith unconditional love.
(32:59):
This is an important key tohealing and this is an important
key to you actually steppinginto a higher level of
functionality and thriving as aneurodivergent person.
As I mentioned in part fourlast week of the training series
(33:19):
, studies show for highlysensitive people, when you do
put yourself in a positivelysupportive environment, both
from within and put yourself ina positively supportive
environment in terms ofaccommodating for your nervous
system needs, then studies showthat this leads to something
(33:39):
called vantage sensitivity andstudies show that this leads to
something called vantagesensitivity, which means that
your level of functionality andthriving is going to go up and
it will be significantly higherthan any improvements that a
less sensitive or neurotypicalperson is going to experience
putting themselves in an equallypositively supportive
environment.
(34:00):
It's that important and it'ssomething that, especially those
of us who haven't beenaccepting of ourselves and
haven't accepted ourneurodivergence and we've been
trying to fit in, we've beentrying to find somewhere to
belong and we think that there'ssomething wrong with us.
We're likely not supportingourselves in a way that provides
vantage sensitivity and this isone of the reasons why so many
(34:24):
of us with neurodivergence don'tthrive, especially those of us
who are highly sensitive people.
You know, I came across a fewcomments the other day from
people who are neurodivergentand they do not believe that it
is possible to thrive as anautistic person.
From what I've observed from myown personal experience and
(34:47):
through working with my clients,is that one of the things that
causes those of us withneurodivergence especially
highly sensitive people andespecially those of us with
autism, we don't thrive when wedon't accept ourselves.
We don't thrive when we don'thave compassion for ourselves.
We won't thrive if we are notaccommodating for our own
(35:09):
particular unique nervous systemneeds and we won't thrive if
we're not owning the strengthsand gifts that come with our
neurodivergence.
And so this is step three isgetting to know your strengths
and your gifts as aneurodivergence.
And so this is.
Step three is getting to knowyour strengths and your gifts as
a neurodivergent person,whether that be a highly
sensitive person, autistic, adhd.
There's a lot of overlappinggifts and there's a lot of
(35:31):
unique gifts that come with eachof the different neurotypes and
when you come to accept themand own them and leverage them,
you can leverage these over andabove your professional skills,
especially when you're anentrepreneur, especially when
you're a coach or a practitioner.
And you've got theseprofessional skills, you can
take these gifts that come withyour neurodivergence and you
(35:53):
leverage them and own them andlean into them.
I recently came across astatistic that when you focus on
your strengths and leveragethem, that you can increase your
quality of life by 600%.
Like that's huge.
And this takes us accepting whowe are and supporting our needs
with compassion and leveragingthe gifts.
(36:16):
And when we do these things,then the challenges that come
with these neurodivergentneurotypes become less
challenging, they become lessoverbearing, they become less
overwhelming.
And this is the thing whenyou're not accepting yourself,
when you're shaming yourself,when you're trying to fit in and
belong, when you're trying tochange who you are, when you're
(36:38):
not accommodating for yourneurodivergent needs, when
you're doing all of these thingsand you've got all this
pressure on your nervous system,then the challenging aspects of
your neurotype are going topredominate.
They're going to be the thingsthat are more front and center
and you're going to feel morechallenged.
You're going to feel moreoverwhelmed.
When you accept yourself, whenyou have compassion for yourself
(37:00):
, when you can give yourselfgrace, when you can give
yourself the time that you need,when you can shift around your
schedule and the way you operateand work and create boundaries
and standards in your businessthat work for you and your
neurotype, and when you leverageyour gifts as a neurodivergent
person in your work and youfocus on your strength and you
(37:24):
focus what you really love,without trying to force yourself
to be someone that you're not,without forcing yourself to do
things because that's what otherpeople do.
That's when the strengths comeout.
That's when you have thispossibility to A increase your
level of functionality and Bthrive.
(37:46):
And I think this is the thingthat's not talked about enough.
And I mean the other thing aswell as a neurodivergent person.
If you are trying to compareyourself to a neurotypical
person and saying, but I don'tlook just like that, so I'm not
thriving in terms of how my lifefunctions, then you're always
going to be in this constantvicious cycle of comparison that
(38:12):
will never allow you to thrive.
Thriving might not look likethe person sitting beside you,
but I want to ask you if you'rewondering I don't know.
I'm neurodivergent, I'mautistic, I'm highly sensitive,
I'm ADHD and I'm not thriving.
Are you supporting your nervoussystem?
Are you accepting of who youare?
(38:34):
Do you have compassion foryourself?
Do you recognize the gifts andstrengths that you have and are
you leveraging them?
These are four questions to askyourself seriously, and if you
say no to any of those, thenthat might be a piece of your
puzzle to look at to help youfind a more connected level of
(38:58):
functionality within yourself.
And then the other piece tothat that I had mentioned in the
day four, training, was are youin a positively supportive
environment?
And part of that is what I'vealready mentioned about
accommodating for your nervoussystem needs and supporting your
nervous system so that you havea wider window of tolerance
(39:20):
nervous system so that you havea wider window of tolerance,
developing stronger vagal toneand higher heart rate
variability and coherence.
But also, what's the companythat you're surrounding yourself
with, the people around you?
Are they supportive?
And this can be a big questiondepending on where you are in
your life and what's going on inyour world.
(39:41):
I know for myself in my past Iused to be in a romantic
relationship with somebody whothought that my sensitivity was
a flaw and constantly told methat I needed to grow a thicker
skin, and he committed himselfto helping me grow a thicker
skin and telling me that it wasfor my own good, because there's
no way that I could survive inthis world being as sensitive as
(40:04):
I am.
You know I'm not saying this toshame or blame him.
I can see his point of view,based on his conditioning that
he thought he was trying to helpme, but, as a highly sensitive
person, studies show that whenyou are in a negatively
supportive environment,especially with people who do
(40:24):
not support or accept you, thenyou're not going to thrive.
And I spoke in training forlast week about my experience
with my mother, and she wasalways telling me that I was too
sensitive, right up to thepoint where, just before she
passed away, she told me there'sone thing that I can do for
myself to improve myself as aperson is to be less sensitive.
(40:47):
And so, of course, I ended upin this romantic relationship
that parroted the same message.
But the thing is, looking backat myself.
When I was in that relationship,I was not thriving.
I was constantly anxious andunsure of myself.
Part of the reason was becausethe main relationship in my life
(41:12):
with my romantic relationship,was negatively supportive.
It was not a supportiverelationship.
When I left that relationship.
I went to therapy to get somesupport and moved through a lot
of issues and healed some ofthose wounds, did some work to
identify the type of person thatI wanted to welcome in my life
(41:38):
as a romantic relationship.
I'd learned some lessons aboutwhat to look for and what I want
and what I don't want, andrecognizing what you don't want
can be so clarifying.
That will probably be a wholeother podcast episode for
another day.
So when I met my now husband,he's a completely different
(41:59):
person than who I've been within my past.
He's very supportive andaccepting and understanding
about my sensitivity.
Now there's a strongpossibility that he's likely
neurodivergent as well.
Without going into any details,that's likely why he
understands me and that's likelywhy he is so positively
(42:20):
supportive towards me, becausehe gets me, because there's so
many things about each of usthat are very similar.
Looking at my life now in thisrelationship with somebody who's
the closest relationship in mylife and he's so positively
supportive of who I am and howI'm built and how I operate, has
changed the game dramaticallyand I can see it in how I
(42:44):
operate, especially how I run mybusiness.
I can see how much that haschanged my level of
functionality, my level ofthriving and my ability to
connect with my own deepestsense of purpose, mission and
vision.
Because I've been able to leaninto my strengths, because I've
(43:05):
developed this vantagesensitivity of being surrounded
by somebody who's the mostimportant person in my life, who
is so positively supportive,and then pair that with all the
work that I've done to developself-compassion for myself.
After I did all of this innerhealing work over these last
(43:25):
several years, of course I'mthriving so much more than I
ever have in my past, and thishas positively impacted my work,
not only my own level ofenjoyment and my purpose and
satisfaction and my success, butalso the level of
transformation that I'm able tofacilitate for my clientele and
(43:47):
the impact that I can providefor them.
And I've talked about that aswell in episode five of last
week's training.
But it's this deeper inner workof having compassion for myself
and accepting myself andunderstanding who I really am
and putting myself in apositively supportive
environment, both in myrelationships with my husband,
(44:10):
who so positively supports me,and also doing business on my
terms, where I'm setting up theschedule that works for me and
my environment that works for mein terms of supporting my
nervous system needs and workingwith the clientele.
That really lights up my souland energizes me, and focusing
(44:31):
on the topics and focus thatenergize me.
As I've spoken about in previouspodcast episodes, I like going
deep and it really drains me tostay in the superficial and not
everybody in this world wants togo deep.
That's okay.
But on the other side of thetoken, me pretending and me
(44:52):
masking and me trying to staysuperficial to appease the
people that don't want to godeep it drains me and exhausts
me.
It's not doing them a favorbecause I'm not giving them
everything that probably thatthey're looking for, that they
could get from anotherpractitioner that would give
them exactly the type ofconnection they're looking for,
(45:13):
and I'm not giving my all to whoI'm here to be destined to
serve, and those are the peoplewho love to go deep.
And so all of this has helpedme find my next level in my
business and my next level ofperformance in terms of the
impact that I can make for thepeople that I'm destined to
serve and the level of successthat I experience, not only
(45:36):
financial success, but thatlevel of inner fulfillment and
satisfaction.
All of that is important,especially for those of us who
are highly sensitive people,finding meaning is such an
important aspect to our livesand living in a place from
connected authenticity.
(45:56):
So I know I've gone.
I've diverted a little bit fromthe main topic today.
It's all sort of connected.
Going back to the question, areyou questioning if you might
have autism or ADHD?
Especially if you've beenfollowing me?
You're a highly sensitiveperson and especially if you're
a highly sensitive entrepreneur,coach or practitioner and
(46:17):
you're wondering if maybethere's this possibility that
you might also have autism orADHD and whether or not.
Should I look into this?
Is this a thing?
Is this a possibility?
Should I get diagnosed orshouldn't I?
So I've talked about andtouched upon those different
things.
It's a personal choice foreverybody and we all have
different reasonings for why orwhy not or which direction that
(46:40):
we want to go, and I encourageeverybody to do what feels most
aligned for you, not what otherpeople tell you to do, not what
the expectations say.
So I hope today's podcast hasgiven you some perspectives to
consider If you've beenquestioning whether or not
(47:04):
autism or ADHD might be a pieceof your puzzle, of your bigger
picture, and I know if you'requestioning whether autism is a
piece of your picture.
You have probably dived intoall sorts of other topics and
perspectives to understand thisdeeper, so I hope that what I've
shared here has just given youanother piece to help you better
(47:25):
understand everything foryourself.
I know for the clients that Ihave guided through mentorship,
many of them have come to arealization, either before we
start working together or whilewe're working together, that
they do indeed have autism orADHD, and that's absolutely
empowering.
(47:46):
And knowing this piece of thepuzzle, we can work with that to
help you identify even moreclearly what your particular
nervous system and neurotypeneeds are so that you can
accommodate them, especially asa business owner, coach or
practitioner, so that you canoperate your business on your
(48:07):
terms that is supportive andgives you that positive,
supportive environment, so thatyou can work at your highest
potential, at your highest levelof functionality, up levellevel
your business and accept andown and leverage your gifts as a
neurodivergent person, becausethat's what's going to help you
(48:30):
create that bigger impact thatyou know that you are here to
deliver in your lifetime, toleave that meaningful legacy If
that's something that you knowthat you want to explore more
deeply to up-level your businessto operate at your fullest
potential, especially as ahighly sensitive, potentially
(48:53):
autistic or ADHD entrepreneur,coach or practitioner, you know
that you want to make the shiftsand adjustments, to be
operating your business on yourterms, connected with your
mission, vision and purpose, anddoing things in a way that are
positively supportive foryourself, both within your own
(49:13):
inner emotional environmentfilled with self-compassion, and
also making the changes aroundyourself within your business so
that you can truly thrive andmake that deeper impact.
And you want to do thatefficiently and quickly.
You don't want to spend yearsdoing this.
This is what I do, and so I canhelp you get there way faster
(49:37):
than if you're trying to sortthrough all of this on your own,
because it can be really hardto see all of your puzzle pieces
and your blind spots and thethings that you can't see yet.
And I can help you see thatwider perspective and help you
come up with the action plansand the strategy and make those
(49:57):
inner shifts and the perspectiveshifts and how you see yourself
and your business and identifywhat you really want and what
your purpose, mission and visiontruly is and move forward with
that quickly and efficiently.
So if that's something thatyou're looking for.
Don't hesitate to reach out.
You can find more informationabout my three-month mentorship
(50:20):
business on your terms in theshow notes below, or you can
send me a message and let meknow that you're interested in
applying and we'll have aconversation just to make sure
that you're a fit, because it'sreally when we both feel like we
are a fit to work together thatthat's when the magic truly
happens.
So if that sounds likesomething you're looking for and
(50:41):
you know this is your time, I'mlooking forward to hearing from
you.
Otherwise, I hope that this washelpful or insightful or
informative for you in some wayand I look forward to speaking
to you again in the next episode.
Thank you for being here.
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