March 30, 2024 • 55 mins
Have you ever sensed a disconnect between your evolving self and your current circumstances? As a mentor for the highly sensitive, I've navigated these very waters, transforming from a naturopathic practitioner to guiding others through their own metamorphoses.
This episode is a heartfelt exploration into the intricacies of our personal and professional growth, especially for those whose sensitivities run deep. I explain the growing pains of outgrowing relationships and businesses, and the 'gap' that can be created when this happens. I also celebrate the empowerment that comes from embracing authenticity, and how that closes the 'gap'.
This episode is an invitation to reflect on and assess whether your professional life mirrors your personal growth and to consider the profound impact of aligning your purpose with your work. Join me on this intimate journey of growth, and let's soar together into our most authentic and sensitive selves, leveraging your sensitive gifts for the most profound impact, fulfillment, and success with your work.
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
- Instagram @michelledowker_wellbalance
- Facebook @michelledowkerwellbalance
- Email michelle@michelledowker.com
FREE GUIDEBOOK:
Discover your Leadership Advantage https://michelledowker.thrivecart.com/astrology-guidebook/
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Leadership Mapping Audit — Decode the design you were born to lead, decide, and live with alignment. https://michelledowker.thrivecart.com/audit/
Clarity Intensive — Pinpoint your next step with clarity, confidence, and direction. https://michelledowker.thrivecart.com/clarity
The Vantage Upgrade — Rewire your Inner Operating System to live as who you've become. https://wellbalance.ca/upgrade
Disclaimer:
This podcast is for informational & inspirational purposes only. Nothing shared is intended as medical, psychological, or personalized advice, and should not be used as a substitute for professional support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Michelle Dowker (00:00):
If you're an ambitious, highly sensitive
person like me, and especiallyif you've been on the path of
inner healing, you have thisdeep soul desire to continually
grow and evolve that you'reaware of what I call the gap.
(00:31):
I've used an analogy about thegap that I'm going to explain to
you today over and over againwith my clients, especially in
relationships, but this analogyis also extremely important for
any sensitive entrepreneur whois on this personal evolution
(00:52):
path to be aware of any gaps inyour business in terms of your
relationship with it and whatcan happen when that gap gets so
great that it is no longersustainable.
So first I'm going to explainthis analogy in terms of
relationships, because this ishow my explanation started years
(01:16):
ago, when I was working withhighly sensitive people in terms
of leading them through theirown inner healing journey and
inner awakening journey.
When you embark on this type ofinner healing work, you start
to change, you start to comeback to yourself, you become
more whole, you shed thelimiting beliefs and the social
(01:40):
conditioning constructs and thesurvival behaviors and patterns
that you'd operated from before,and when you do this, you
change, your actions change,your reactions change and the
things that you desire to movetowards in your life also change
(02:02):
your visions, change yourperspectives, change.
And when it comes torelationships, sometimes, when
you are shifting your goals andhow you're operating and how
you're seeing the world and whatyou desire out of your life,
sometimes the people that youare in relationship with aren't
(02:24):
coming along with you for theride, because we're all at
different points in our livesand not everybody, as it is, at
a point in their journey wherethey want to do the inner
healing work or grow or shift orchange.
Maybe that's not part of thepath, maybe that's not their
desire, and sometimes what canhappen is, when we embark on
(02:45):
this type of personaldevelopment, inner healing and
personal evolution path, thepeople who are in our lives
might not necessarily be at apoint where they want to, and
you start to notice that there'sthis gap that starts to form
between where you were when youwere at the same level as them
(03:06):
and where you are going to, andyou're seeing that they haven't
changed or they haven't changedas quickly as you have, and so
sometimes you can end up seeingwhat I call the gap.
That can look like you can seethem operating from those old
survival behaviors that you usedto operate from, like people
(03:30):
pleasing and perfectionism andcodependency.
Maybe you see that they're nottaking responsibility for
certain things, that you'vesince learned how to take
responsibility forself-responsibility and you want
them to do the same.
Maybe your interests and yourgoals and your desires and the
(03:51):
goalposts that you've createdfor yourself have shifted and
changed and you're movingforward in a more advanced
direction or more quickly, andyou're seeing that they're not.
Maybe they're holding on tosomething, maybe they're stuck
in comfort or familiarity, ormaybe that's just not the
direction they want to go.
(04:12):
Sometimes this gap can feel alittle frustrating, because we
want the people who are closestto us to be moving with us,
especially when we're seeing howmuch inner freedom and
empowerment this type ofpersonal evolution work can
deliver.
Not everybody is at that placewhere they want to, and it's a
(04:34):
really common human tendency towant to seek comfort, to seek
the familiar, to stay in thefamiliar, because the unknown
can be scary and it can feeluncomfortable to be navigating,
maybe, depths of personalevolution and looking at
ourselves, and that's notsomething that everybody is
(04:56):
willing or wants to do.
So now there becomes thissituation where you're at this
point, where you're starting tosee a gap develop between you
and the person in your life.
Unfortunately, we can't changeother people and it doesn't
matter how much you try, if theydon't want to make those
(05:16):
changes.
If they try to do them for you,it's likely going to fall flat.
They're likely going to growresentful if they're feeling
like you're pushing them to dosomething that they don't want
to be doing, and it's really notyour job to force anybody to be
doing anything that they don'tfeel motivated to do from within
themselves.
(05:37):
This topic often tends to comeup with my clients that they're
noticing that this gap isstarting to develop.
My clients that they'renoticing that this gap is
starting to develop, and I oftenexplain to them that there will
be this point where you need todecide what your line in the
sand is in terms of decidingwhether or not that gap is
sustainable or not any longer,and there's a variety of things
(05:58):
that you can do, decide to do ifyou're finding that this gap is
becoming unsustainable.
It could be a seriousconversation which might help
them to decide for themselveswhat they want to do, and you
might need to move ahead on yourown without them, because if
you're holding on to somethingthat is no longer aligned, then
(06:22):
it's not beneficial for eitherof you.
Now here's the thing.
I've used this analogy a lotwith clients in terms of their
relationships, especially theirromantic relationships, but
today I want to talk about thisconcept of the gap when it comes
to your relationship with yourbusiness.
A lot of times I tend to workwith clients, and this has been
(06:46):
my own personal story of whenyou first start your business
doing what you love.
I know for myself.
I had started my business froman unhealed place.
I had already done quite a bitof work with therapists, so I
had a decent level ofself-awareness, but there was
still a lot of layers to unpackthat I had not at that point in
(07:11):
my life when I first started mybusiness 13 years ago, and so I
was still operating out ofpeople pleasing over delivering,
overworking, workaholism,rescuing others, codependency.
I was looking to my work togive me validation and
(07:32):
acknowledgement that I was doinga good job, that I was valuable
, that I was doing something ofvalue.
I hadn't yet found that peaceand fulfillment and sense of
value and good enough fromwithin myself, and I was looking
to my patients and I waslooking to my title as doctor
(07:56):
and I was looking to my businessto give me the things that I
really needed to find withinmyself.
That was number one I reallyneeded to find within myself.
That was number one.
And number two is when I wasfirst starting my business,
coming out of naturopathiccollege, my focus was very
generalized and, for thepopulation that I was serving, a
(08:19):
lot of the work that I wasdoing had to do with teaching
the foundational basics of dietand lifestyle and stress
management and those types ofthings which I loved back then.
I loved being able to teachpeople how to empower themselves
by making different decisionsand different choices with the
(08:43):
food that they're eating, thelifestyle habits that they were
undertaking, and working onmindset and stress management
and seeing how much that thatcan impact your physical
symptoms and physical health andhelp you feel better.
And then here's the thing is, Iwas undergoing my own healing
(09:05):
journey that had many steps,twists and turns, and my own
personal inner awakening reallyhappened, as I've mentioned in a
previous podcast episode, aftermy mom passed away and I ended
up with the worst endometriosisand autoimmune flares of my life
(09:26):
that left me bed bound formonths.
It triggered a dark night ofthe soul that made me question
absolutely everything about mylife and my purpose and my
direction, where I was going andwhat was brewing underneath the
surface that I had not yetlooked at was brewing underneath
the surface that I had not yetlooked at.
So all of that had sent me onmy own inner healing quest,
(09:56):
embarking on a whole series ofspiritual coach training,
certifications, and then workingwith my mother's spirit, with a
psychic medium, and it wasthose things that really
transformed everything for meand triggered my own inner
spiritual awakening, and it'swhat led me to put together the
inner liberation method that Ihave since guided dozens of
(10:17):
clients through to find theirown inner healing and inner
awakening and come out the otherside feeling completely
liberated and empowered.
So here's the thing Throughthis whole journey of my own
personal evolution.
There have been many points onmy journey that my relationship
(10:38):
with my business.
There were several gaps thatwere forming as I was evolving
and growing.
There were a couple of thingsabout my business that weren't
growing and evolving at the samerate.
One of them was my clienteleand the focus of the work that I
(10:58):
was doing, which I'm going togo into detail about what that
looked like and the things thatneeded to change, as well as the
fact that until I became fullyaware of the gaps and took the
action to close those gaps, forquite a while I was still
operating out of those oldsurvival patterns because that's
(11:22):
how I had set up my business.
I needed to make the shifts toclose the gap so that I was no
longer operating from apeople-pleasing lens, so that I
was no longer overextendingmyself and having loosey-goosey
boundaries around how I wasworking, my schedule, who I was
(11:43):
working with and the level ofenergy that I was maintaining
and protecting about myself whenI was connecting with patients
and clients.
So in my personal timeline ofmy work, I told you about the
story, about how and why I endedup switching away from local
(12:05):
clinical naturopathic practiceand shifting over into online
wellness and life coaching, andin the early years of my
coaching experience I started in2019.
I was working in the weight lossspace with a fellow colleague.
(12:25):
That was the first gap that Iwas starting to see.
As I was working with theseclients, I was recognizing that
I was growing less and lessinterested in explaining the
basics of where do you findsugar in your diet when you're
looking at ingredients.
What is a carbohydrate, what isat ingredients, what is a
(12:45):
carbohydrate, what is a protein,what is a fat?
And looking at the basics ofputting menu plans together.
They excited me at first, but Iwas finding that repeating
myself with these basics was nolonger interesting to me, was no
(13:07):
longer interesting to me, and Icould see that there were so
many more deeper levels toconsider here that this
particular clientele was notinterested in working with, like
the emotional relationship tofood and stress management and
your own personal relationshipto yourself, which is really the
crux of everything when itcomes to your relationship with
(13:28):
your food and how you'remanaging your stress and how
much you're accepting who youare now.
Because when you don't acceptyourself, even if you're not at
the place where you really wantto be, the more you do not
accept yourself, the more youare at war with yourself, and
the things that you don't acceptwill control you.
(13:51):
They will have power over youand show up in places and in
ways that you least want them to.
And so there's this one reallyimportant aspect of acceptance
that I had to learn and that Iguide my clients to deepen for
(14:11):
themselves, because this is onepiece of a bigger puzzle to
really find the freedom from thethings that you might be
feeling are controlling you.
So here I was, working in thisspace with weight loss.
It was becoming increasinglyclear that I was less and less
interested in dealing with thesebasics I'm not throwing any
(14:34):
shade on the fact that these areimportant things for people to
learn if they aren't aware ofthese things yet and I was on my
own personal evolution journeywith my own diet at that point,
because I had discovered theautoimmune protocol and
carnivore to manage my ownphysical symptoms that talking
(14:57):
about the basics and guidingpeople through the rudimentary
beginnings of discovering how tomake changes to your diet was
not something that I wasinterested in doing any longer.
I had been advancing my ownjourney and it felt like I was
reaching too far back into mypast of my own knowledge, that I
(15:21):
wasn't feeling like I wasconnecting with the clientele
that I was working with at thelevel that I really wanted to,
and I knew that this waspreventing me from being able to
deliver the level of resultsand transformation that I knew
that I could be providing thepeople that I was working with.
(15:41):
That was my first gap that Iwas seeing was starting to form
and I was seeing that I wasgetting a little bit bored with
what I was doing.
I was looking less and lesslooking forward to the client
calls where I had to onboardsomeone and teach them all the
basics at the beginning, and Iknew I just knew in my soul
(16:05):
there was something more for meto be doing, especially with
everything that I had beendiscovering for myself.
You know, doing an eliminationdiet and cutting out gluten for
the very first time in your lifeand trying to figure out where
gluten is and how to do that wasso far into my past by that
point that it just wasn'texciting me like it was,
(16:28):
especially because, with my ownhealth journey the fact that I
was so reactive to so many foodsthat I had to resort to the
meat-only carnivore diet for aperiod of time I knew that it
was an extremely helpfultherapeutic diet used as an
elimination diet for certainpeople who had tried everything
(16:52):
else.
I wanted to explore offeringthat as a solution to people who
had tried everything else, evenup to the autoimmune protocol.
As I was helping people withthat, I was doing my own work to
heal my own inner emotionalterrain.
And as I was doing that, I wasstarting to incorporate more and
(17:13):
more of that into the work thatI was doing.
And that was a gap.
That I was noticing was alsohappening was that I didn't want
to be teaching people how to doa carnivore diet as an
elimination diet, but rather Iwas enjoying more when somebody
had already started thecarnivore diet and now they were
(17:35):
looking for that deeper inneremotional journey work so that
they could reintroduce foodsagain.
That at that point, waslighting me up to address the
underlying emotions and stressand mindset and do that inner
emotional healing.
And I had created a protocolthat I had used on myself and I
(17:59):
would then guide my clients, whoI was guiding through this
inner emotional healing journey,through the gradual
reintroduction process once theyhad done the inner emotional
healing and they were finding somuch success with being able to
tolerate foods again.
(18:20):
This is the first stage of themultiple gaps that were going
along in my career journey.
I know for myself, if I wouldhave just decided to stay in the
first iteration of my onlinework coaching weight loss and I
decided to stay there, I know Iwouldn't have been happy.
(18:40):
I would have grown more andmore restless with what I was
doing.
I knew that I was on thisjourney of evolution and I
didn't see all of the puzzlepieces yet to my own inner
healing journey.
But I knew there was more.
Now, as I was working on my owninner healing journey and, like
(19:02):
I've mentioned, did thespiritual coach training, worked
with my mother's spirit and Ihad been doing all the shadow
integration and the inner childhealing and the inner
reparenting.
My health was getting betterbecause I was addressing the
inner emotional terrain that wasputting all of that stress onto
my nervous system.
(19:22):
And studies show that nervoussystem dysregulation is a prime
trigger for immune dysregulationconditions like autoimmunity
and like endometriosis, andnervous system dysregulation is
what can definitely worsen allof these symptoms.
So that when you address thenervous system and you address
(19:45):
the underlying inner emotionalterrain which has the biggest
influence on your nervous system, then of course your body has a
much better opportunity tobalance itself out and rectify
dysregulation with the immunesystem, with the nervous system.
And so, as I was getting betterand as my health was improving,
(20:09):
at this point I was stillworking with and bringing in
clients who had chronic illnessthemselves autoimmunity,
endometriosis we had beenworking on this inner emotional
healing to help them to findbetter regulation with their
symptoms and, for some people,even go into remission.
(20:30):
However, I was finding that alot of people that were coming
into my world were so identifiedwith being a person with a
chronic illness and the themesthat we were navigating in our
work together was keeping metied to identifying with chronic
(20:50):
illness myself and I recognizedthat as I was growing and
evolving away from identifyingwith being a person with chronic
illness, I recognized thatthere was this gap again that I
was reaching too far back intomy own personal experience of
(21:12):
when I was at the prime of myworst debilitating chronic
illness condition of my life.
I had to reach back into thatexperience to relate to a lot of
my new clients who werestruggling in the muck of having
a chronic illness portion ofthe population.
I could see that it was nothelping me to be keeping myself
(21:35):
in that particular stage of mybusiness evolution journey and
the energy that I was puttingmyself into working with this
(21:55):
particular subset of thepopulation.
I could see that that gap wasgrowing and if I continued along
this direction of having thisspecial focus of working with
people with autoimmunity andendometriosis, who were
specifically coming to me forthat particular reason.
(22:16):
I was seeing that I was goingto be in a very similar
situation that I had been in thepast, when I was struggling
with coaching in weight loss.
Similar feelings were coming upfrustration and restlessness,
and feeling like there wassomething different and bigger
(22:36):
that I had to be doing thataligned more with where I was
going as I was continuing my owninner healing and personal
evolution journey.
So I ended up making a shiftaway from working with people
with chronic illness and towardsworking with people who
identify as highly sensitivepeople people who want to move
(22:59):
past coping mechanisms andsurvival patterns that are often
associated with being highlysensitive and move more into
self-empowerment copingmechanisms and survival patterns
that are often associated withbeing highly sensitive and move
more into self-empowerment.
And the reason why I made thisshift was because I was noticing
in the subset of the populationthat I was working with, the
people with autoimmunity andendometriosis.
(23:19):
The people that were gettingthe best results and the people
that I enjoyed the most workingwith were also people who
identified as highly sensitivepeople.
They tended to respond the bestto my particular approach and
methodology, and that makessense because I'm a highly
(23:40):
sensitive person.
So, of course, the people whoalso resonate with that
particular personality trait aregoing to resonate very well
with my own personal experienceand the particular methodology
that I had guided myself throughas I've been going through this
inner healing journey.
(24:00):
So I decided in around 2022 thatI was going to shift away from
working with people with chronicillness towards working with
people who are highly sensitive,people who are ready to step
into the next level of theirinner liberation, and I guided
them through what I ended upcalling the inner liberation
(24:21):
method.
This was a methodology that Ihad created from doing my own
inner healing work with mymother spirit, and the process
is a blend of a bunch ofdifferent modalities that I've
learned as a naturopathic doctor, some of the processes that I
learned in the spiritual coachtraining program and a lot of
(24:43):
approaches that I intuited whileI was working with my mother
spirit.
She really was the impetus toso much of the healing and
transformation and evolution inmy own work that has enabled me
to guide others to be able to dothe same for themselves, and
(25:03):
I'm grateful every single dayfor my mother being on the other
side helping me through thisand doing her own healing.
And as we heal together, I canfeel the power of my lineage
being healed and the impact thatthat has, not only for me but
in my ability to facilitate andguide others to do the same for
(25:24):
themselves.
Once I went through this ownmethodology for myself, which I
continue to refine and processand guide myself through, what I
was finding was with the highlysensitive people that I was
guiding through this process,they would come out the other
side feeling liberated from theconditioning and the limiting
(25:46):
beliefs that kept them frombeing and expressing their
authentic selves.
They finally felt free to bethemselves, without hiding,
without masking.
Every single client would tellme that they felt liberated and
empowered, that they finallycome home to themselves and they
feel like their own best friend.
They finally felt comfortableto stand up and assert their own
(26:10):
boundaries and communicate whatthey need and what they want,
and less reactive and triggeredby other people and their stuff.
I don't know how many peoplehave told me that I'm their
earth angel, their guardianangel, because their lives have
changed so much from thisprocess, and this is why this
work is so important to me,because it does make such an
(26:32):
important impact in otherpeople's lives, to be able to
guide them back to the truth andthe power of who they really
are and I believe that that'show our world and humanity is
going to heal is to deconditionfrom all the social conditioning
(26:52):
and the survival behaviors andthe limiting beliefs that we've
been led to believe aboutourselves Because we've been
operating in this wounded spaceof society and humanity.
I believe that part of the workof humanity of healing and
becoming whole is each one of usremembering the truth of who we
(27:14):
are, and my little corner ofthat is to help fellow people
who are highly sensitive peopleto remember the truth of who you
are, to remember the power thatyou have within you and to
believe that your uniquesensitivity and all the gifts
and all the traits that comewith that are not flaws.
(27:36):
You are not broken.
You might be different than 80%of the population, but that
does not mean that you're weird.
That does not mean that there'ssomething wrong with you, but
instead to remember the power ofwho you are and the superpowers
that come along with being ahighly sensitive person, because
there are gifts to being highlysensitive that when you harness
(28:00):
them and leverage them in yourlife and in your business.
It will help you to deliver thelevel of impact that you know
that you're here to be making inthis world in a meaningful way
to help others to find their ownsense of wholeness and healing.
Can you see how much morepowerful that feels in terms of
(28:26):
work to do than what I was doingbefore of explaining how to do
an elimination diet, explainingwhere to find sugar, because I
could see how it changedpeople's lives?
But as I was healing andgrowing, I needed to be doing
(28:56):
the work that coincided with thelevel of evolution that I was
undertaking in my own life as ahighly sensitive person.
We have this need to go deep andfind meaning.
We have this need to go deepand find meaning and if your
business is not keeping up withthat deep level of depth and
inner sense of need to createmeaning and impact in this world
(29:17):
, then that gap is going toleave you feeling restless.
That gap is going to leave youfeeling like there's something
missing and if you're not awarethat it's caused because of this
gap, you're going to besearching in places to fill that
gap that aren't actually goingto fill the gap.
So if you're feeling restlessand you're feeling like
(29:39):
something's missing.
If you're not recognizing thatit's because your business and
how you're operating in yourbusiness is not keeping up with
your personal evolution, youmight seek elsewhere to find
ways to fill what feels like ismissing, and oftentimes in
society and inhumanity.
(30:01):
If we're not aware, we willtend to look outside of
ourselves to fill that gapExternal things like other
people's validation, maybe morecertifications, chasing status,
chasing money to try to fillthat gap.
And while earning an income isabsolutely important and money
(30:24):
gives you stability and freedomto be able to do the things that
will help you to create theimpact in your life and in your
work that you know that you'rehere to do, seeking the money to
fill the thing that you feellike is missing is not going to
work, it's not going to help tomake you feel like you're
fulfilled from within and you'reconstantly going to be chasing.
(30:46):
And so the reason why I'mmentioning this is because
awareness is always the firststep.
If you can become aware that,if you're starting to feel some
of these things, to take a lookat the relationship with your
business if you are anentrepreneur, or the
relationship with your businessif you are an entrepreneur, or
the relationship with your jobor your position.
(31:07):
If you do have a career, seewhether or not it still aligns
with where you are as youcontinue your own inner healing
and personal evolution journey.
So, going back to my own story,as I was working with these
highly sensitive people who hadgone through this inner
liberation process which lit meup to guide them through and see
(31:30):
them come out the other sidefeeling so empowered and
connected to themselves, theytruly their lives transformed
and many of these clients wouldcome out the other side feeling
so connected to themselves andthey realized that their work no
(31:51):
longer aligned to who they werebefore they went through this
inner healing evolution, throughthe inner liberation process.
Once they more deeply connectedwith themselves and accepted
themselves and became their ownbest friend and started to
express their true authenticityand stood up for themselves and
(32:12):
established their boundaries andexpressed and communicated what
they needed and reallyidentified what they actually
wanted in their lifetime, theycould see that the work that
they were doing no longer feltpurposeful.
A lot of people would say itjust felt like a paycheck and
they wanted more than that.
Some people would tell me thatthey could see that they were in
(32:34):
a toxic work environment andthey no longer wanted to just
tolerate that.
They didn't want to just pushthrough until retirement.
They knew that they couldn't dothis for another 20 years and
they didn't want, in 20 yearstime, to look back and go.
That's not what I wanted to do.
There was an inner drive thatlit them up and they wanted to
(32:55):
share that with the world in apurposeful and meaningful way,
and so some of these clientsthat I was working with that I
guided through the innerliberation process and they were
seeing that their work was nolonger aligned and they were
feeling that restlessness.
Some of these clients wanted toexplore with me how to find
ways to feel more aligned andfulfilled and purposeful in
(33:17):
their work in ways that resonatewith their newly connected,
empowered, healed and connectedself.
I found, as this process washappening, that, while I loved
guiding people through theprocess of inner healing and
awakening, it felt like such ajoy to work with them once
(33:38):
they'd gone through the process,and now they want to align
their work so that they can workto their fullest potential and
make the most meaningful impactthat they know they want to
contribute to the greater good.
This is the thing guiding themthrough the awakening journey to
get to the other side reallylit me up to see the outcome.
(33:59):
And it's a really heavy journeyto guide them through.
It's not always easy, right?
This whole inner awakening andinner healing journey, right,
guiding them through thislabyrinth of meeting themselves
and all the parts is absolutelyempowering and it's big.
While I enjoyed doing that, Icould see that once they'd gone
(34:24):
through that and out the otherside, there was something even
bigger happening when I wouldguide them through this next
iteration of themselves.
Once they went through thisinner evolution journey, and I
was seeing that as I've beencontinuing to evolve and grow
and heal, guiding them throughthe initial stages of this inner
(34:48):
healing journey, and this innerawakening journey was starting
to become another gap becauseit's so far back from where I am
now I was no longer connectingto them in the same way that I
was when I was initially guidingpeople through this journey and
I was noticing that restlessfeeling again that was showing
(35:10):
up because I wanted to get themthrough the other side as
quickly as possible, so now Icould guide them through the
next step, that next step ofokay, now I've awakened.
Now what?
Now I want to be operating fromthis place of inner thriving
overflow and share this withothers in the most purposeful
and meaningful way.
(35:30):
With my work, I was seeing thatthat was the thing that was
lighting me up the most,compared to what I was doing
before, of guiding them throughthe journey to get to that place
.
When I started taking on peoplewho had already gone through an
inner awakening and now theywant to go to that next level of
themselves with their workfully aligned and fully
(35:52):
fulfilled and living out theirpurpose in lockstep with their
newly evolved self, I wasfinding that those people were
getting huge results quicklywhen they would work with me,
because I was taking them tothat next level and because I
had evolved myself through thispath.
I was leading them through myown personal experience, as well
(36:16):
as the fact that through thiswork, I've really been
connecting to my sensitive gifts, including intuition and
clairvoyance, and putting puzzlepieces together and out of the
box problem solving and solutionmaking that helped them to see
the things that they can't seefor themselves yet, because we
(36:38):
all have these blind spots ofthings that we can't see, and I
was seeing that my talent sitswith helping these people once
they've gotten to this otherside and now they want to align
their business, and essentially,what they were seeing when I
was guiding them to this placewas that gap between them in
their newly evolved self and thebusiness or the work that they
(37:02):
had before they had gone throughthis process.
That gap was growing, just likethat gap had developed for me
several times along my businesspivot journey, and so one of the
things that right now that I'mdoing with clients is helping
clients who have gone throughsome major personal healing,
(37:27):
personal evolution journey.
Now they're on the other sideof this journey and it is a
lifelong process, but they'vehad some major shifts in who
they are, how they operate andwhat their focus is in their
life and what they feel thatthey want to be contributing in
terms of their purpose work.
There's this gap between wherethey are now and where their
(37:49):
business was before someevolution that they've
encountered, and this next levelof themselves that they are now
operating from, and part of thework that I do is to help them
recognize the gap and see how toclose that gap by making shifts
to how they work, who they'reworking with, the type of focus
(38:14):
in terms of the type of work andspecialty that they are
focusing on, because, likely, ifthey're evolving, likely who
that they're meant to be workingwith and how, and on what is
going to be shifting, as well astheir expertise and experience,
is growing and evolving.
And then the other piece ofthat is how to shift the
(38:35):
standards and structure of howyou're operating within your
business, because, likely, howyou were operating in the past,
before you've had some greatinner evolution, is going to be
it was likely different thanwhere you are now.
For example, so many of myclients, when they first started
(38:56):
their business, would beoperating from that people
pleasing, and they wouldn't bestanding up for their boundaries
and asserting boundaries anddeciding where their line in the
sand was.
This tendency to say yes tothings that they don't really
want to, but they're maybeafraid of upsetting people or
losing clients or disappointingpeople.
And then what happens is youknow, I've done this myself is I
(39:20):
would end up paying the pricefeeling drained, feeling
resentful, feeling frustrated,feeling restless because I was
doing the things that I didn'tactually really want to be doing
, but out of the feeling ofmaybe feeling not good enough or
seeking the validation all ofthose things, I was still
operating from these patterns,helping shift the underlying
(39:43):
mindset and perspective of howto shift how you're operating in
your business so that you aresetting the standards that work
for yourself and work for yourhighly sensitive nervous system,
needs Shifting your perspectiveand mindset on how to establish
boundaries and why and whythey're so important.
(40:05):
And actually it's doingeverybody a disservice when you
don't Seeing how important it isto actually be focusing on what
lights you up the most, becausethat's where your zone of
specialty is, that's where yourunique edge is and that's how
you can help people to get thegreatest impact from the work
(40:28):
that you are here to deliver.
By focusing on what lights youup the most and that might
change and evolve as you do.
You to be able to tune into thelanguage of your inner knowing
(40:48):
and intuition and master that sothat you can recognize when
those gaps start to form, sothat you can empower yourself to
take the actions to keep yourbusiness evolving with you in
lockstep, so that you don't endup getting into positions where
that gap grows so wide that itfeels so unsustainable that you
(41:10):
get to this point where you sayI can't take this anymore.
Something's got to give.
You can take action andresponsibility way before you
get to that threshold.
That's really helpful becausethen, instead of getting to
these points of crisis where nowyou've got to go and shift
everything and it feels likeyour entire world has been
(41:30):
flipped upside down, you cancontinue to make shifts and
adjustments as you grow andevolve and become aware of how
to keep your business evolvingwith you so that you feel the
most lit up by your work on anongoing basis and you are
(41:51):
contributing the deepest levelof impact that you can through
your work, because you'reconnected with helping people at
the level that's most alignedfor you.
Helping the people you'rehelping to find their level
that's most aligned for them,connecting with yourself,
connecting with your truth,becoming whole and helping
(42:13):
others to do the same and that'sreally how humanity is going to
heal.
And, especially when you're ahighly sensitive person, you
have specific and unique giftsthat 80% of the population don't
have to the same degree thatyou do.
So say, for example, thingslike really keen pattern
(42:34):
recognition, seeing nuances thatother people don't pick up on,
holding space like no one elsefor the client that's sitting in
front of you, extremelyaccurate intuitive sense, and
even psychic gifts likeclairvoyance, like I have, where
(42:54):
I can actually see things showup in the bottom right hand
corner in black and whitePictures and images and words
and feelings.
They all kind of show up in theright-hand periphery when I'm
connecting with a client andI've since learned that those
things that I see they're notnothing.
They're not made-up things,because every single time that I
(43:18):
now bring up what I see to myclient, it's the exact thing
that they needed to help to puttheir own puzzle pieces together
, to help them to move forwardwith their goals and desires, to
help see themselves withcrystal clarity so they know
exactly the direction thatthey're heading and how to make
(43:39):
those decisions for themselves.
I help them see themselvesthrough the intuitive and
psychic images that I see andthis is exactly how I help my
clients to be able to closetheir own gap and then learn how
to maintain that and evenprevent it from happening in the
(44:00):
first place, ongoing withoutneeding to rely on me to do it
for them.
This is what lights me up themost right now.
That doesn't mean that this iswhat I'm going to be doing for
the rest of my career, becauseI'm continuing to heal, grow and
evolve.
I continue to do my own innerintegration work so that I can
(44:21):
become increasingly moreconnected to myself and feel
increasingly more whole.
And it is a lifelong processand as I continue to grow and
evolve the level at which I canguide somebody else because of
my experience and because of myconnection to my own unique,
sensitive gifts, the level ofclientele that I'm going to be
(44:44):
guiding is going to keepcontinuing to shift.
And I see that now as a factbecause if I don't, then that
gap will widen and I will get tothat restless place where I
will say something's got to give, this has got to change.
I can't continue to do this foranother 20 years and while all
the iterations of my work I feltconnected to and enjoyed and
(45:06):
loved at some point in my lifeand I could still do any of
those things I have the abilityI also know that part of the
impact of the work that I do isthe fact that I need to be doing
work that lights my soul up andis connected to what I believe
is my deep inner purpose, andwhen I do that, I can see now
(45:30):
I've had enough data to provethat the more I do this for
myself, the bigger, moretransformational results.
I facilitate for the clientsthat I'm working with.
This is the way it works, andso I know sometimes people feel
like it's maybe selfish to makethese changes, because who are
(45:50):
they to want to focus on, maybea more advanced level, when
there's so many people who needthe foundations and need to
learn the basics?
And yes, it's true, there needsto be people who are there to
teach the foundational basicsand teach at every single level
(46:11):
of one's personal journey.
But that doesn't need to be you.
If it doesn't light you upanymore, there are many other
people who it does light them upto be focused on that level of
the journey, and if that's whatlights them up and it's no
longer lighting you up, thenit's not serving either of you
(46:34):
to force yourself to stay atthat level just because you know
you can.
They'll be best served to go anddo that level with someone else
and then, once they movethrough that level, they'll come
out the other side and they'regoing to want to look at okay,
well, now what?
There's this whole next levelfor me to look at and I'm
looking for guidance with thislevel and that's where you come
(46:57):
in and as you shift and evolve.
That level might shift andevolve too and you might find
that you know what?
Maybe they're best to go findsomebody else to work on that
level with and when they comethrough that level, you're going
to be there to help themthrough that level, because
they're going to get to a pointwhere, wow, okay, now I'm here.
Now what?
There's more.
(47:17):
There's always more.
There's always new levels toexplore, and here's the thing is
, the more and more levels thatyou've gone through in your own
personal healing and evolutionwork, there's less and less
people at the more advancedlevels than there are at the
beginning levels.
The world needs all of us atevery level.
(47:38):
There's a lot more that I cansay about this, but I think I'm
going to leave it at that fornow, and I'll talk more about
this in another podcast episode,and I have a feeling that maybe
I'm going to be creating aworkshop about this soon because
this is such an important topic.
So a reflection question for youDo you feel like your business,
(47:59):
how you're operating in yourbusiness, the standards you have
for your business, theclientele you're working with,
the types of focus that you havein, the type of work that
you're doing in your business.
Do you feel that it's alignedwith your level of current
evolution and where you're goingon your evolution journey?
Do you feel that it's inlockstep or do you feel that
(48:22):
there is a gap?
And the first question to askis so, first of all, becoming
aware if there is that gap anddeciding A where is your line in
the sand where it no longerbecomes sustainable for you to
be having and maintaining thisgap between where you are and
what you are doing in your work,and whether or not you want to
(48:46):
be maintaining this gap, or doyou want to close the gap by
making some shifts to how you'reoperating, who you're working
with, how you're working, thestandards and boundaries that
you're setting and how much youare owning who you are in your
business.
And I see this especially forhighly sensitive people,
(49:13):
especially for those of us whohave tried to fit ourselves in
the mold of what the other 80%of the world is doing in terms
of running your business right.
The not so sensitive worlddoesn't always coincide with who
we are, and oftentimes some ofthose survival behaviors that we
tend to do are hiding ourselves, masking our sensitivity,
masking our neuro divergence andtrying to pretend or be like
(49:37):
someone else or hide away oursensitivity, thinking that
they're flaws, thinking thatthey shouldn't be brought out
into our business, that they'reflaws, thinking that they
shouldn't be brought out intoour business.
Here's the thing like Imentioned earlier, there are
gifts to your sensitivity.
Highly sensitive peoplecomprise about 20% of the
population, which means you havegifts that, when you harness
(49:57):
them as your superpower and youlayer them on top of the skills
that you already have from yourprofession, you stand out, you
leverage your skills and youhave a leg up on what you can do
and the types of transformationand the types of healing that
you can provide for the peoplethat you're here to facilitate
(50:21):
transformation for by leveragingyour sensitive gifts, owning
them and that's part of the workof making sure that there is no
gap is owning all the parts ofyou, all of your gifts, instead
of hiding them away, instead ofshaming them away, guilting them
away, pretending you don't havethem, because I know for so
(50:42):
many of us who are highlysensitive, these have been
things that we've tended to doto avoid judgment, to avoid
people being uncomfortable withus, to avoid being called weird
or a witch or quirky, because Iknow I've had lots of people
tell me these things in the pastand I used to take them
personally until I went throughthis inner healing and personal
(51:05):
evolution work, and now I seethat those comments are based on
their own projections and havevery little to do with me, and
maybe that's just a sign thatthey're not the aligned
clientele for me to work with.
And instead of hiding my giftsso that they will work with me,
I put my sensitive gifts frontand center in my work and
(51:27):
leverage them so that the peoplewho want those gifts, who align
with those gifts and appreciatethem, I will use those gifts to
help them to leverage their owngifts, to help them to align
with themselves and their workso that they can step into their
highest potential and createthe greatest impact that they
(51:49):
know that they're here to make.
So today was a little bit offood for thought.
If there has been a gap thatyou've been noticing has been
happening in your work as you'vebeen evolving and healing and
growing in your own personalexperience.
I hope this might give you alevel of awareness, if you
haven't been already aware, orsome perspective to consider if
(52:11):
you already knew that there wasa gap and some things to
consider in terms of how toclose that gap and how to align
yourself so that your businessdoes evolve with you in lockstep
.
And if you're at that placewhere you're hearing what I'm
saying and you're seeing and youknow that there's this gap that
you have been working onclosing and maybe you can't see
(52:33):
all the pieces of the puzzle foryourself, clearly, that's where
I come in right, because we allhave aspects that we can't see
for ourselves.
I have my own mentors, becauseyou can't see your own blind
spots and you can't see thebigger picture when you're in
the middle of it, and so, ifthis calls to you, I would love
to hear from you.
Send me a message and we'llchat, and if it feels like an
(52:56):
aligned fit, I do have limitedspaces in some of my one-on-one
containers.
What we do in those containersis help you to close that gap
and really help you to step intothis next level, iteration of
yourself leading with yoursensitive gifts as your
superpower and leverage those inyour work, and then help you to
(53:20):
see exactly how to keep thatgap closed as you continue your
own evolution and so that youcan do this for yourself ongoing
.
So if this aligns with you, Ilook forward to speaking with
you and, either way, I lookforward to speaking with you in
the next episode.
If you're an ambitious, highly sensitive
person like me, and especiallyif you've been on the path of
inner healing, you have thisdeep soul desire to continually
grow and evolve that you'reaware of what I call the gap.
(00:31):
I've used an analogy about thegap that I'm going to explain to
you today over and over againwith my clients, especially in
relationships, but this analogyis also extremely important for
any sensitive entrepreneur whois on this personal evolution
(00:52):
path to be aware of any gaps inyour business in terms of your
relationship with it and whatcan happen when that gap gets so
great that it is no longersustainable.
So first I'm going to explainthis analogy in terms of
relationships, because this ishow my explanation started years
(01:16):
ago, when I was working withhighly sensitive people in terms
of leading them through theirown inner healing journey and
inner awakening journey.
When you embark on this type ofinner healing work, you start
to change, you start to comeback to yourself, you become
more whole, you shed thelimiting beliefs and the social
(01:40):
conditioning constructs and thesurvival behaviors and patterns
that you'd operated from before,and when you do this, you
change, your actions change,your reactions change and the
things that you desire to movetowards in your life also change
(02:02):
your visions, change yourperspectives, change.
And when it comes torelationships, sometimes, when
you are shifting your goals andhow you're operating and how
you're seeing the world and whatyou desire out of your life,
sometimes the people that youare in relationship with aren't
(02:24):
coming along with you for theride, because we're all at
different points in our livesand not everybody, as it is, at
a point in their journey wherethey want to do the inner
healing work or grow or shift orchange.
Maybe that's not part of thepath, maybe that's not their
desire, and sometimes what canhappen is, when we embark on
(02:45):
this type of personaldevelopment, inner healing and
personal evolution path, thepeople who are in our lives
might not necessarily be at apoint where they want to, and
you start to notice that there'sthis gap that starts to form
between where you were when youwere at the same level as them
(03:06):
and where you are going to, andyou're seeing that they haven't
changed or they haven't changedas quickly as you have, and so
sometimes you can end up seeingwhat I call the gap.
That can look like you can seethem operating from those old
survival behaviors that you usedto operate from, like people
(03:30):
pleasing and perfectionism andcodependency.
Maybe you see that they're nottaking responsibility for
certain things, that you'vesince learned how to take
responsibility forself-responsibility and you want
them to do the same.
Maybe your interests and yourgoals and your desires and the
(03:51):
goalposts that you've createdfor yourself have shifted and
changed and you're movingforward in a more advanced
direction or more quickly, andyou're seeing that they're not.
Maybe they're holding on tosomething, maybe they're stuck
in comfort or familiarity, ormaybe that's just not the
direction they want to go.
(04:12):
Sometimes this gap can feel alittle frustrating, because we
want the people who are closestto us to be moving with us,
especially when we're seeing howmuch inner freedom and
empowerment this type ofpersonal evolution work can
deliver.
Not everybody is at that placewhere they want to, and it's a
(04:34):
really common human tendency towant to seek comfort, to seek
the familiar, to stay in thefamiliar, because the unknown
can be scary and it can feeluncomfortable to be navigating,
maybe, depths of personalevolution and looking at
ourselves, and that's notsomething that everybody is
(04:56):
willing or wants to do.
So now there becomes thissituation where you're at this
point, where you're starting tosee a gap develop between you
and the person in your life.
Unfortunately, we can't changeother people and it doesn't
matter how much you try, if theydon't want to make those
(05:16):
changes.
If they try to do them for you,it's likely going to fall flat.
They're likely going to growresentful if they're feeling
like you're pushing them to dosomething that they don't want
to be doing, and it's really notyour job to force anybody to be
doing anything that they don'tfeel motivated to do from within
themselves.
(05:37):
This topic often tends to comeup with my clients that they're
noticing that this gap isstarting to develop.
My clients that they'renoticing that this gap is
starting to develop, and I oftenexplain to them that there will
be this point where you need todecide what your line in the
sand is in terms of decidingwhether or not that gap is
sustainable or not any longer,and there's a variety of things
(05:58):
that you can do, decide to do ifyou're finding that this gap is
becoming unsustainable.
It could be a seriousconversation which might help
them to decide for themselveswhat they want to do, and you
might need to move ahead on yourown without them, because if
you're holding on to somethingthat is no longer aligned, then
(06:22):
it's not beneficial for eitherof you.
Now here's the thing.
I've used this analogy a lotwith clients in terms of their
relationships, especially theirromantic relationships, but
today I want to talk about thisconcept of the gap when it comes
to your relationship with yourbusiness.
A lot of times I tend to workwith clients, and this has been
(06:46):
my own personal story of whenyou first start your business
doing what you love.
I know for myself.
I had started my business froman unhealed place.
I had already done quite a bitof work with therapists, so I
had a decent level ofself-awareness, but there was
still a lot of layers to unpackthat I had not at that point in
(07:11):
my life when I first started mybusiness 13 years ago, and so I
was still operating out ofpeople pleasing over delivering,
overworking, workaholism,rescuing others, codependency.
I was looking to my work togive me validation and
(07:32):
acknowledgement that I was doinga good job, that I was valuable
, that I was doing something ofvalue.
I hadn't yet found that peaceand fulfillment and sense of
value and good enough fromwithin myself, and I was looking
to my patients and I waslooking to my title as doctor
(07:56):
and I was looking to my businessto give me the things that I
really needed to find withinmyself.
That was number one I reallyneeded to find within myself.
That was number one.
And number two is when I wasfirst starting my business,
coming out of naturopathiccollege, my focus was very
generalized and, for thepopulation that I was serving, a
(08:19):
lot of the work that I wasdoing had to do with teaching
the foundational basics of dietand lifestyle and stress
management and those types ofthings which I loved back then.
I loved being able to teachpeople how to empower themselves
by making different decisionsand different choices with the
(08:43):
food that they're eating, thelifestyle habits that they were
undertaking, and working onmindset and stress management
and seeing how much that thatcan impact your physical
symptoms and physical health andhelp you feel better.
And then here's the thing is, Iwas undergoing my own healing
(09:05):
journey that had many steps,twists and turns, and my own
personal inner awakening reallyhappened, as I've mentioned in a
previous podcast episode, aftermy mom passed away and I ended
up with the worst endometriosisand autoimmune flares of my life
(09:26):
that left me bed bound formonths.
It triggered a dark night ofthe soul that made me question
absolutely everything about mylife and my purpose and my
direction, where I was going andwhat was brewing underneath the
surface that I had not yetlooked at was brewing underneath
the surface that I had not yetlooked at.
So all of that had sent me onmy own inner healing quest,
(09:56):
embarking on a whole series ofspiritual coach training,
certifications, and then workingwith my mother's spirit, with a
psychic medium, and it wasthose things that really
transformed everything for meand triggered my own inner
spiritual awakening, and it'swhat led me to put together the
inner liberation method that Ihave since guided dozens of
(10:17):
clients through to find theirown inner healing and inner
awakening and come out the otherside feeling completely
liberated and empowered.
So here's the thing Throughthis whole journey of my own
personal evolution.
There have been many points onmy journey that my relationship
(10:38):
with my business.
There were several gaps thatwere forming as I was evolving
and growing.
There were a couple of thingsabout my business that weren't
growing and evolving at the samerate.
One of them was my clienteleand the focus of the work that I
(10:58):
was doing, which I'm going togo into detail about what that
looked like and the things thatneeded to change, as well as the
fact that until I became fullyaware of the gaps and took the
action to close those gaps, forquite a while I was still
operating out of those oldsurvival patterns because that's
(11:22):
how I had set up my business.
I needed to make the shifts toclose the gap so that I was no
longer operating from apeople-pleasing lens, so that I
was no longer overextendingmyself and having loosey-goosey
boundaries around how I wasworking, my schedule, who I was
(11:43):
working with and the level ofenergy that I was maintaining
and protecting about myself whenI was connecting with patients
and clients.
So in my personal timeline ofmy work, I told you about the
story, about how and why I endedup switching away from local
(12:05):
clinical naturopathic practiceand shifting over into online
wellness and life coaching, andin the early years of my
coaching experience I started in2019.
I was working in the weight lossspace with a fellow colleague.
(12:25):
That was the first gap that Iwas starting to see.
As I was working with theseclients, I was recognizing that
I was growing less and lessinterested in explaining the
basics of where do you findsugar in your diet when you're
looking at ingredients.
What is a carbohydrate, what isat ingredients, what is a
(12:45):
carbohydrate, what is a protein,what is a fat?
And looking at the basics ofputting menu plans together.
They excited me at first, but Iwas finding that repeating
myself with these basics was nolonger interesting to me, was no
(13:07):
longer interesting to me, and Icould see that there were so
many more deeper levels toconsider here that this
particular clientele was notinterested in working with, like
the emotional relationship tofood and stress management and
your own personal relationshipto yourself, which is really the
crux of everything when itcomes to your relationship with
(13:28):
your food and how you'remanaging your stress and how
much you're accepting who youare now.
Because when you don't acceptyourself, even if you're not at
the place where you really wantto be, the more you do not
accept yourself, the more youare at war with yourself, and
the things that you don't acceptwill control you.
(13:51):
They will have power over youand show up in places and in
ways that you least want them to.
And so there's this one reallyimportant aspect of acceptance
that I had to learn and that Iguide my clients to deepen for
(14:11):
themselves, because this is onepiece of a bigger puzzle to
really find the freedom from thethings that you might be
feeling are controlling you.
So here I was, working in thisspace with weight loss.
It was becoming increasinglyclear that I was less and less
interested in dealing with thesebasics I'm not throwing any
(14:34):
shade on the fact that these areimportant things for people to
learn if they aren't aware ofthese things yet and I was on my
own personal evolution journeywith my own diet at that point,
because I had discovered theautoimmune protocol and
carnivore to manage my ownphysical symptoms that talking
(14:57):
about the basics and guidingpeople through the rudimentary
beginnings of discovering how tomake changes to your diet was
not something that I wasinterested in doing any longer.
I had been advancing my ownjourney and it felt like I was
reaching too far back into mypast of my own knowledge, that I
(15:21):
wasn't feeling like I wasconnecting with the clientele
that I was working with at thelevel that I really wanted to,
and I knew that this waspreventing me from being able to
deliver the level of resultsand transformation that I knew
that I could be providing thepeople that I was working with.
(15:41):
That was my first gap that Iwas seeing was starting to form
and I was seeing that I wasgetting a little bit bored with
what I was doing.
I was looking less and lesslooking forward to the client
calls where I had to onboardsomeone and teach them all the
basics at the beginning, and Iknew I just knew in my soul
(16:05):
there was something more for meto be doing, especially with
everything that I had beendiscovering for myself.
You know, doing an eliminationdiet and cutting out gluten for
the very first time in your lifeand trying to figure out where
gluten is and how to do that wasso far into my past by that
point that it just wasn'texciting me like it was,
(16:28):
especially because, with my ownhealth journey the fact that I
was so reactive to so many foodsthat I had to resort to the
meat-only carnivore diet for aperiod of time I knew that it
was an extremely helpfultherapeutic diet used as an
elimination diet for certainpeople who had tried everything
(16:52):
else.
I wanted to explore offeringthat as a solution to people who
had tried everything else, evenup to the autoimmune protocol.
As I was helping people withthat, I was doing my own work to
heal my own inner emotionalterrain.
And as I was doing that, I wasstarting to incorporate more and
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more of that into the work thatI was doing.
And that was a gap.
That I was noticing was alsohappening was that I didn't want
to be teaching people how to doa carnivore diet as an
elimination diet, but rather Iwas enjoying more when somebody
had already started thecarnivore diet and now they were
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looking for that deeper inneremotional journey work so that
they could reintroduce foodsagain.
That at that point, waslighting me up to address the
underlying emotions and stressand mindset and do that inner
emotional healing.
And I had created a protocolthat I had used on myself and I
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would then guide my clients, whoI was guiding through this
inner emotional healing journey,through the gradual
reintroduction process once theyhad done the inner emotional
healing and they were finding somuch success with being able to
tolerate foods again.
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This is the first stage of themultiple gaps that were going
along in my career journey.
I know for myself, if I wouldhave just decided to stay in the
first iteration of my onlinework coaching weight loss and I
decided to stay there, I know Iwouldn't have been happy.
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I would have grown more andmore restless with what I was
doing.
I knew that I was on thisjourney of evolution and I
didn't see all of the puzzlepieces yet to my own inner
healing journey.
But I knew there was more.
Now, as I was working on my owninner healing journey and, like
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I've mentioned, did thespiritual coach training, worked
with my mother's spirit and Ihad been doing all the shadow
integration and the inner childhealing and the inner
reparenting.
My health was getting betterbecause I was addressing the
inner emotional terrain that wasputting all of that stress onto
my nervous system.
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And studies show that nervoussystem dysregulation is a prime
trigger for immune dysregulationconditions like autoimmunity
and like endometriosis, andnervous system dysregulation is
what can definitely worsen allof these symptoms.
So that when you address thenervous system and you address
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the underlying inner emotionalterrain which has the biggest
influence on your nervous system, then of course your body has a
much better opportunity tobalance itself out and rectify
dysregulation with the immunesystem, with the nervous system.
And so, as I was getting betterand as my health was improving,
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at this point I was stillworking with and bringing in
clients who had chronic illnessthemselves autoimmunity,
endometriosis we had beenworking on this inner emotional
healing to help them to findbetter regulation with their
symptoms and, for some people,even go into remission.
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However, I was finding that alot of people that were coming
into my world were so identifiedwith being a person with a
chronic illness and the themesthat we were navigating in our
work together was keeping metied to identifying with chronic
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illness myself and I recognizedthat as I was growing and
evolving away from identifyingwith being a person with chronic
illness, I recognized thatthere was this gap again that I
was reaching too far back intomy own personal experience of
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when I was at the prime of myworst debilitating chronic
illness condition of my life.
I had to reach back into thatexperience to relate to a lot of
my new clients who werestruggling in the muck of having
a chronic illness portion ofthe population.
I could see that it was nothelping me to be keeping myself
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in that particular stage of mybusiness evolution journey and
the energy that I was puttingmyself into working with this
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particular subset of thepopulation.
I could see that that gap wasgrowing and if I continued along
this direction of having thisspecial focus of working with
people with autoimmunity andendometriosis, who were
specifically coming to me forthat particular reason.
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I was seeing that I was goingto be in a very similar
situation that I had been in thepast, when I was struggling
with coaching in weight loss.
Similar feelings were coming upfrustration and restlessness,
and feeling like there wassomething different and bigger
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that I had to be doing thataligned more with where I was
going as I was continuing my owninner healing and personal
evolution journey.
So I ended up making a shiftaway from working with people
with chronic illness and towardsworking with people who
identify as highly sensitivepeople people who want to move
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past coping mechanisms andsurvival patterns that are often
associated with being highlysensitive and move more into
self-empowerment copingmechanisms and survival patterns
that are often associated withbeing highly sensitive and move
more into self-empowerment.
And the reason why I made thisshift was because I was noticing
in the subset of the populationthat I was working with, the
people with autoimmunity andendometriosis.
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The people that were gettingthe best results and the people
that I enjoyed the most workingwith were also people who
identified as highly sensitivepeople.
They tended to respond the bestto my particular approach and
methodology, and that makessense because I'm a highly
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sensitive person.
So, of course, the people whoalso resonate with that
particular personality trait aregoing to resonate very well
with my own personal experienceand the particular methodology
that I had guided myself throughas I've been going through this
inner healing journey.
(24:00):
So I decided in around 2022 thatI was going to shift away from
working with people with chronicillness towards working with
people who are highly sensitive,people who are ready to step
into the next level of theirinner liberation, and I guided
them through what I ended upcalling the inner liberation
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method.
This was a methodology that Ihad created from doing my own
inner healing work with mymother spirit, and the process
is a blend of a bunch ofdifferent modalities that I've
learned as a naturopathic doctor, some of the processes that I
learned in the spiritual coachtraining program and a lot of
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approaches that I intuited whileI was working with my mother
spirit.
She really was the impetus toso much of the healing and
transformation and evolution inmy own work that has enabled me
to guide others to be able to dothe same for themselves, and
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I'm grateful every single dayfor my mother being on the other
side helping me through thisand doing her own healing.
And as we heal together, I canfeel the power of my lineage
being healed and the impact thatthat has, not only for me but
in my ability to facilitate andguide others to do the same for
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themselves.
Once I went through this ownmethodology for myself, which I
continue to refine and processand guide myself through, what I
was finding was with the highlysensitive people that I was
guiding through this process,they would come out the other
side feeling liberated from theconditioning and the limiting
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beliefs that kept them frombeing and expressing their
authentic selves.
They finally felt free to bethemselves, without hiding,
without masking.
Every single client would tellme that they felt liberated and
empowered, that they finallycome home to themselves and they
feel like their own best friend.
They finally felt comfortableto stand up and assert their own
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boundaries and communicate whatthey need and what they want,
and less reactive and triggeredby other people and their stuff.
I don't know how many peoplehave told me that I'm their
earth angel, their guardianangel, because their lives have
changed so much from thisprocess, and this is why this
work is so important to me,because it does make such an
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important impact in otherpeople's lives, to be able to
guide them back to the truth andthe power of who they really
are and I believe that that'show our world and humanity is
going to heal is to deconditionfrom all the social conditioning
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and the survival behaviors andthe limiting beliefs that we've
been led to believe aboutourselves Because we've been
operating in this wounded spaceof society and humanity.
I believe that part of the workof humanity of healing and
becoming whole is each one of usremembering the truth of who we
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are, and my little corner ofthat is to help fellow people
who are highly sensitive peopleto remember the truth of who you
are, to remember the power thatyou have within you and to
believe that your uniquesensitivity and all the gifts
and all the traits that comewith that are not flaws.
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You are not broken.
You might be different than 80%of the population, but that
does not mean that you're weird.
That does not mean that there'ssomething wrong with you, but
instead to remember the power ofwho you are and the superpowers
that come along with being ahighly sensitive person, because
there are gifts to being highlysensitive that when you harness
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them and leverage them in yourlife and in your business.
It will help you to deliver thelevel of impact that you know
that you're here to be making inthis world in a meaningful way
to help others to find their ownsense of wholeness and healing.
Can you see how much morepowerful that feels in terms of
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work to do than what I was doingbefore of explaining how to do
an elimination diet, explainingwhere to find sugar, because I
could see how it changedpeople's lives?
But as I was healing andgrowing, I needed to be doing
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the work that coincided with thelevel of evolution that I was
undertaking in my own life as ahighly sensitive person.
We have this need to go deep andfind meaning.
We have this need to go deepand find meaning and if your
business is not keeping up withthat deep level of depth and
inner sense of need to createmeaning and impact in this world
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, then that gap is going toleave you feeling restless.
That gap is going to leave youfeeling like there's something
missing and if you're not awarethat it's caused because of this
gap, you're going to besearching in places to fill that
gap that aren't actually goingto fill the gap.
So if you're feeling restlessand you're feeling like
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something's missing.
If you're not recognizing thatit's because your business and
how you're operating in yourbusiness is not keeping up with
your personal evolution, youmight seek elsewhere to find
ways to fill what feels like ismissing, and oftentimes in
society and inhumanity.
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If we're not aware, we willtend to look outside of
ourselves to fill that gapExternal things like other
people's validation, maybe morecertifications, chasing status,
chasing money to try to fillthat gap.
And while earning an income isabsolutely important and money
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gives you stability and freedomto be able to do the things that
will help you to create theimpact in your life and in your
work that you know that you'rehere to do, seeking the money to
fill the thing that you feellike is missing is not going to
work, it's not going to help tomake you feel like you're
fulfilled from within and you'reconstantly going to be chasing.
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And so the reason why I'mmentioning this is because
awareness is always the firststep.
If you can become aware that,if you're starting to feel some
of these things, to take a lookat the relationship with your
business if you are anentrepreneur, or the
relationship with your businessif you are an entrepreneur, or
the relationship with your jobor your position.
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If you do have a career, seewhether or not it still aligns
with where you are as youcontinue your own inner healing
and personal evolution journey.
So, going back to my own story,as I was working with these
highly sensitive people who hadgone through this inner
liberation process which lit meup to guide them through and see
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them come out the other sidefeeling so empowered and
connected to themselves, theytruly their lives transformed
and many of these clients wouldcome out the other side feeling
so connected to themselves andthey realized that their work no
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longer aligned to who they werebefore they went through this
inner healing evolution, throughthe inner liberation process.
Once they more deeply connectedwith themselves and accepted
themselves and became their ownbest friend and started to
express their true authenticityand stood up for themselves and
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established their boundaries andexpressed and communicated what
they needed and reallyidentified what they actually
wanted in their lifetime, theycould see that the work that
they were doing no longer feltpurposeful.
A lot of people would say itjust felt like a paycheck and
they wanted more than that.
Some people would tell me thatthey could see that they were in
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a toxic work environment andthey no longer wanted to just
tolerate that.
They didn't want to just pushthrough until retirement.
They knew that they couldn't dothis for another 20 years and
they didn't want, in 20 yearstime, to look back and go.
That's not what I wanted to do.
There was an inner drive thatlit them up and they wanted to
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share that with the world in apurposeful and meaningful way,
and so some of these clientsthat I was working with that I
guided through the innerliberation process and they were
seeing that their work was nolonger aligned and they were
feeling that restlessness.
Some of these clients wanted toexplore with me how to find
ways to feel more aligned andfulfilled and purposeful in
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their work in ways that resonatewith their newly connected,
empowered, healed and connectedself.
I found, as this process washappening, that, while I loved
guiding people through theprocess of inner healing and
awakening, it felt like such ajoy to work with them once
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they'd gone through the process,and now they want to align
their work so that they can workto their fullest potential and
make the most meaningful impactthat they know they want to
contribute to the greater good.
This is the thing guiding themthrough the awakening journey to
get to the other side reallylit me up to see the outcome.
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And it's a really heavy journeyto guide them through.
It's not always easy, right?
This whole inner awakening andinner healing journey, right,
guiding them through thislabyrinth of meeting themselves
and all the parts is absolutelyempowering and it's big.
While I enjoyed doing that, Icould see that once they'd gone
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through that and out the otherside, there was something even
bigger happening when I wouldguide them through this next
iteration of themselves.
Once they went through thisinner evolution journey, and I
was seeing that as I've beencontinuing to evolve and grow
and heal, guiding them throughthe initial stages of this inner
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healing journey, and this innerawakening journey was starting
to become another gap becauseit's so far back from where I am
now I was no longer connectingto them in the same way that I
was when I was initially guidingpeople through this journey and
I was noticing that restlessfeeling again that was showing
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up because I wanted to get themthrough the other side as
quickly as possible, so now Icould guide them through the
next step, that next step ofokay, now I've awakened.
Now what?
Now I want to be operating fromthis place of inner thriving
overflow and share this withothers in the most purposeful
and meaningful way.
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With my work, I was seeing thatthat was the thing that was
lighting me up the most,compared to what I was doing
before, of guiding them throughthe journey to get to that place
.
When I started taking on peoplewho had already gone through an
inner awakening and now theywant to go to that next level of
themselves with their workfully aligned and fully
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fulfilled and living out theirpurpose in lockstep with their
newly evolved self, I wasfinding that those people were
getting huge results quicklywhen they would work with me,
because I was taking them tothat next level and because I
had evolved myself through thispath.
I was leading them through myown personal experience, as well
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as the fact that through thiswork, I've really been
connecting to my sensitive gifts, including intuition and
clairvoyance, and putting puzzlepieces together and out of the
box problem solving and solutionmaking that helped them to see
the things that they can't seefor themselves yet, because we
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all have these blind spots ofthings that we can't see, and I
was seeing that my talent sitswith helping these people once
they've gotten to this otherside and now they want to align
their business, and essentially,what they were seeing when I
was guiding them to this placewas that gap between them in
their newly evolved self and thebusiness or the work that they
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had before they had gone throughthis process.
That gap was growing, just likethat gap had developed for me
several times along my businesspivot journey, and so one of the
things that right now that I'mdoing with clients is helping
clients who have gone throughsome major personal healing,
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personal evolution journey.
Now they're on the other sideof this journey and it is a
lifelong process, but they'vehad some major shifts in who
they are, how they operate andwhat their focus is in their
life and what they feel thatthey want to be contributing in
terms of their purpose work.
There's this gap between wherethey are now and where their
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business was before someevolution that they've
encountered, and this next levelof themselves that they are now
operating from, and part of thework that I do is to help them
recognize the gap and see how toclose that gap by making shifts
to how they work, who they'reworking with, the type of focus
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in terms of the type of work andspecialty that they are
focusing on, because, likely, ifthey're evolving, likely who
that they're meant to be workingwith and how, and on what is
going to be shifting, as well astheir expertise and experience,
is growing and evolving.
And then the other piece ofthat is how to shift the
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standards and structure of howyou're operating within your
business, because, likely, howyou were operating in the past,
before you've had some greatinner evolution, is going to be
it was likely different thanwhere you are now.
For example, so many of myclients, when they first started
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their business, would beoperating from that people
pleasing, and they wouldn't bestanding up for their boundaries
and asserting boundaries anddeciding where their line in the
sand was.
This tendency to say yes tothings that they don't really
want to, but they're maybeafraid of upsetting people or
losing clients or disappointingpeople.
And then what happens is youknow, I've done this myself is I
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would end up paying the pricefeeling drained, feeling
resentful, feeling frustrated,feeling restless because I was
doing the things that I didn'tactually really want to be doing
, but out of the feeling ofmaybe feeling not good enough or
seeking the validation all ofthose things, I was still
operating from these patterns,helping shift the underlying
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mindset and perspective of howto shift how you're operating in
your business so that you aresetting the standards that work
for yourself and work for yourhighly sensitive nervous system,
needs Shifting your perspectiveand mindset on how to establish
boundaries and why and whythey're so important.
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And actually it's doingeverybody a disservice when you
don't Seeing how important it isto actually be focusing on what
lights you up the most, becausethat's where your zone of
specialty is, that's where yourunique edge is and that's how
you can help people to get thegreatest impact from the work
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that you are here to deliver.
By focusing on what lights youup the most and that might
change and evolve as you do.
You to be able to tune into thelanguage of your inner knowing
(40:48):
and intuition and master that sothat you can recognize when
those gaps start to form, sothat you can empower yourself to
take the actions to keep yourbusiness evolving with you in
lockstep, so that you don't endup getting into positions where
that gap grows so wide that itfeels so unsustainable that you
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get to this point where you sayI can't take this anymore.
Something's got to give.
You can take action andresponsibility way before you
get to that threshold.
That's really helpful becausethen, instead of getting to
these points of crisis where nowyou've got to go and shift
everything and it feels likeyour entire world has been
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flipped upside down, you cancontinue to make shifts and
adjustments as you grow andevolve and become aware of how
to keep your business evolvingwith you so that you feel the
most lit up by your work on anongoing basis and you are
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contributing the deepest levelof impact that you can through
your work, because you'reconnected with helping people at
the level that's most alignedfor you.
Helping the people you'rehelping to find their level
that's most aligned for them,connecting with yourself,
connecting with your truth,becoming whole and helping
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others to do the same and that'sreally how humanity is going to
heal.
And, especially when you're ahighly sensitive person, you
have specific and unique giftsthat 80% of the population don't
have to the same degree thatyou do.
So say, for example, thingslike really keen pattern
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recognition, seeing nuances thatother people don't pick up on,
holding space like no one elsefor the client that's sitting in
front of you, extremelyaccurate intuitive sense, and
even psychic gifts likeclairvoyance, like I have, where
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I can actually see things showup in the bottom right hand
corner in black and whitePictures and images and words
and feelings.
They all kind of show up in theright-hand periphery when I'm
connecting with a client andI've since learned that those
things that I see they're notnothing.
They're not made-up things,because every single time that I
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now bring up what I see to myclient, it's the exact thing
that they needed to help to puttheir own puzzle pieces together
, to help them to move forwardwith their goals and desires, to
help see themselves withcrystal clarity so they know
exactly the direction thatthey're heading and how to make
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those decisions for themselves.
I help them see themselvesthrough the intuitive and
psychic images that I see andthis is exactly how I help my
clients to be able to closetheir own gap and then learn how
to maintain that and evenprevent it from happening in the
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first place, ongoing withoutneeding to rely on me to do it
for them.
This is what lights me up themost right now.
That doesn't mean that this iswhat I'm going to be doing for
the rest of my career, becauseI'm continuing to heal, grow and
evolve.
I continue to do my own innerintegration work so that I can
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become increasingly moreconnected to myself and feel
increasingly more whole.
And it is a lifelong processand as I continue to grow and
evolve the level at which I canguide somebody else because of
my experience and because of myconnection to my own unique,
sensitive gifts, the level ofclientele that I'm going to be
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guiding is going to keepcontinuing to shift.
And I see that now as a factbecause if I don't, then that
gap will widen and I will get tothat restless place where I
will say something's got to give, this has got to change.
I can't continue to do this foranother 20 years and while all
the iterations of my work I feltconnected to and enjoyed and
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loved at some point in my lifeand I could still do any of
those things I have the abilityI also know that part of the
impact of the work that I do isthe fact that I need to be doing
work that lights my soul up andis connected to what I believe
is my deep inner purpose, andwhen I do that, I can see now
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I've had enough data to provethat the more I do this for
myself, the bigger, moretransformational results.
I facilitate for the clientsthat I'm working with.
This is the way it works, andso I know sometimes people feel
like it's maybe selfish to makethese changes, because who are
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they to want to focus on, maybea more advanced level, when
there's so many people who needthe foundations and need to
learn the basics?
And yes, it's true, there needsto be people who are there to
teach the foundational basicsand teach at every single level
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of one's personal journey.
But that doesn't need to be you.
If it doesn't light you upanymore, there are many other
people who it does light them upto be focused on that level of
the journey, and if that's whatlights them up and it's no
longer lighting you up, thenit's not serving either of you
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to force yourself to stay atthat level just because you know
you can.
They'll be best served to go anddo that level with someone else
and then, once they movethrough that level, they'll come
out the other side and they'regoing to want to look at okay,
well, now what?
There's this whole next levelfor me to look at and I'm
looking for guidance with thislevel and that's where you come
(46:57):
in and as you shift and evolve.
That level might shift andevolve too and you might find
that you know what?
Maybe they're best to go findsomebody else to work on that
level with and when they comethrough that level, you're going
to be there to help themthrough that level, because
they're going to get to a pointwhere, wow, okay, now I'm here.
Now what?
There's more.
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There's always more.
There's always new levels toexplore, and here's the thing is
, the more and more levels thatyou've gone through in your own
personal healing and evolutionwork, there's less and less
people at the more advancedlevels than there are at the
beginning levels.
The world needs all of us atevery level.
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There's a lot more that I cansay about this, but I think I'm
going to leave it at that fornow, and I'll talk more about
this in another podcast episode,and I have a feeling that maybe
I'm going to be creating aworkshop about this soon because
this is such an important topic.
So a reflection question for youDo you feel like your business,
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how you're operating in yourbusiness, the standards you have
for your business, theclientele you're working with,
the types of focus that you havein, the type of work that
you're doing in your business.
Do you feel that it's alignedwith your level of current
evolution and where you're goingon your evolution journey?
Do you feel that it's inlockstep or do you feel that
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there is a gap?
And the first question to askis so, first of all, becoming
aware if there is that gap anddeciding A where is your line in
the sand where it no longerbecomes sustainable for you to
be having and maintaining thisgap between where you are and
what you are doing in your work,and whether or not you want to
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be maintaining this gap, or doyou want to close the gap by
making some shifts to how you'reoperating, who you're working
with, how you're working, thestandards and boundaries that
you're setting and how much youare owning who you are in your
business.
And I see this especially forhighly sensitive people,
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especially for those of us whohave tried to fit ourselves in
the mold of what the other 80%of the world is doing in terms
of running your business right.
The not so sensitive worlddoesn't always coincide with who
we are, and oftentimes some ofthose survival behaviors that we
tend to do are hiding ourselves, masking our sensitivity,
masking our neuro divergence andtrying to pretend or be like
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someone else or hide away oursensitivity, thinking that
they're flaws, thinking thatthey shouldn't be brought out
into our business, that they'reflaws, thinking that they
shouldn't be brought out intoour business.
Here's the thing like Imentioned earlier, there are
gifts to your sensitivity.
Highly sensitive peoplecomprise about 20% of the
population, which means you havegifts that, when you harness
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them as your superpower and youlayer them on top of the skills
that you already have from yourprofession, you stand out, you
leverage your skills and youhave a leg up on what you can do
and the types of transformationand the types of healing that
you can provide for the peoplethat you're here to facilitate
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transformation for by leveragingyour sensitive gifts, owning
them and that's part of the workof making sure that there is no
gap is owning all the parts ofyou, all of your gifts, instead
of hiding them away, instead ofshaming them away, guilting them
away, pretending you don't havethem, because I know for so
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many of us who are highlysensitive, these have been
things that we've tended to doto avoid judgment, to avoid
people being uncomfortable withus, to avoid being called weird
or a witch or quirky, because Iknow I've had lots of people
tell me these things in the pastand I used to take them
personally until I went throughthis inner healing and personal
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evolution work, and now I seethat those comments are based on
their own projections and havevery little to do with me, and
maybe that's just a sign thatthey're not the aligned
clientele for me to work with.
And instead of hiding my giftsso that they will work with me,
I put my sensitive gifts frontand center in my work and
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leverage them so that the peoplewho want those gifts, who align
with those gifts and appreciatethem, I will use those gifts to
help them to leverage their owngifts, to help them to align
with themselves and their workso that they can step into their
highest potential and createthe greatest impact that they
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know that they're here to make.
So today was a little bit offood for thought.
If there has been a gap thatyou've been noticing has been
happening in your work as you'vebeen evolving and healing and
growing in your own personalexperience.
I hope this might give you alevel of awareness, if you
haven't been already aware, orsome perspective to consider if
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you already knew that there wasa gap and some things to
consider in terms of how toclose that gap and how to align
yourself so that your businessdoes evolve with you in lockstep
.
And if you're at that placewhere you're hearing what I'm
saying and you're seeing and youknow that there's this gap that
you have been working onclosing and maybe you can't see
(52:33):
all the pieces of the puzzle foryourself, clearly, that's where
I come in right, because we allhave aspects that we can't see
for ourselves.
I have my own mentors, becauseyou can't see your own blind
spots and you can't see thebigger picture when you're in
the middle of it, and so, ifthis calls to you, I would love
to hear from you.
Send me a message and we'llchat, and if it feels like an
(52:56):
aligned fit, I do have limitedspaces in some of my one-on-one
containers.
What we do in those containersis help you to close that gap
and really help you to step intothis next level, iteration of
yourself leading with yoursensitive gifts as your
superpower and leverage those inyour work, and then help you to
(53:20):
see exactly how to keep thatgap closed as you continue your
own evolution and so that youcan do this for yourself ongoing
.
So if this aligns with you, Ilook forward to speaking with
you and, either way, I lookforward to speaking with you in
the next episode.
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