March 17, 2024 • 27 mins
Skipping recording a podcast episode last week was the wake-up call I needed, a stark reminder that even as a mentor, I must listen to my body's whispers before they become screams. I've walked the tightrope between pushing limits and self-preservation, and in this intimate exchange I share with you today, I draw back the curtain on how to recognize when you're on the brink of your own thresholds.
Whether you're a fellow sensitive soul, navigating neurodivergence, or managing chronic conditions alongside entrepreneurial demands, this dialogue is for you. I open up about the dangers of glorifying the hustle over well-being and invite you to explore the empowering act of setting boundaries for long-term fulfillment.
For anyone who feels the weight of their sensitivities in a world that often fails to accommodate them, this episode paints a picture of thriving through self-awareness and respect for our unique capacities.
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Disclaimer:
This podcast is for informational & inspirational purposes only. Nothing shared is intended as medical, psychological, or personalized advice, and should not be used as a substitute for professional support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, I want to talk about thresholds identifying
them, accepting them, honoringthem and respecting them,
especially if you are a highlysensitive entrepreneur.
If you've been following mypodcast, you know that I've been
putting out weekly sessions,but last week I missed a session
.
The reason why is because I wasapproaching a threshold and
(00:22):
something had to give, and whatgave was me recording a podcast
episode.
So, as you know, I'm a highlysensitive person.
I'm neurodivergent and I havechronic illnesses like
endometriosis and autoimmunity,and these conditions, for the
most part, are well managed.
For the most part, you couldsay that they're in remission.
(00:45):
However, I still need to bevery conscious about respecting
my limits.
This is a non-negotiable.
Otherwise, I can't create theimpact I desire or fully enjoy
what it is that I know that I'mhere to be doing.
So I want to talk to you aboutthat and how to honor, address,
(01:08):
identify and respect your ownthresholds so that you can be
your best and work at yourfullest potential.
The first thing to become awareof is where your limits are.
What is your threshold?
Somebody has a different levelat which their threshold is in
(01:30):
terms of where that sand in theline is drawn before you hit a
wall, before you reach burnout,before things become too
overwhelming or too much for youto handle and you cannot
continue the way that you'recontinuing.
You need to stop, you need totake a break, you need to take a
(01:52):
nap, you need to go to bed, youneed to be all sick, your
symptoms come back, you get aflare up.
These are all examples ofreaching a threshold and it gets
to the point where your bodysays that's enough, we can't do
this anymore.
Awareness is always the firststep, recognizing the signs that
(02:12):
you've not only reachedthreshold, but what are those
signs that you're approaching it?
Your body and mind gives yousigns and messages leading up to
your limit, signs that you'reat 75% capacity, 50%, 25%, even
5% or 10%.
(02:33):
They're usually whispers thatget louder the closer you reach
your personal threshold.
These signs can be differentfor different people.
Some examples can be feelingoverwhelmed, shutting down,
starting to get irritated,losing interest in what you're
doing.
You might notice physicalsensations like tight or sore
(02:54):
muscles, and they might be justa little bit at the beginning
and get worse and worse withtime the further and further you
are approaching thresholdExhaustion, intolerance to
sounds, bright lights orexercise, or physical symptoms
like digestive issues, sleepdisturbances or headaches.
These, of course, are just afew of a thousand other examples
(03:16):
, and of course, they mightindicate other things as well.
I'm not here to diagnose ortreat anything.
This is just information, andyou might notice that at
different levels of approachingthreshold, different types of
signs or messages might occur.
So you might notice you gettight muscles at around like 25%
(03:39):
threshold, but it's thedigestive symptoms that show up
at 50%, and then maybe themigraine starts at 75%, for
example.
It could be anything, and I'mnot saying that this is
something to avoid approachingthreshold, because sometimes
it's important to challengeourselves.
(04:00):
However, it's about findingthat fine balance between
challenge that helps you growand overstepping the boundaries
that cause you to be inchallenge too much, because what
happens is, especially with ournervous system little bits of
(04:22):
challenge helps your nervoussystem to widen its window of
tolerance, but what happens isover time, if it's constant and
you don't give your nervoussystem breaks, opportunities to
relax and finding your way backdown from being in challenging
moments for your nervous system.
(04:44):
It's been proven scientificallythat allostatic load over time,
if not relieved, does lead tophysical symptoms, physical
ailments, physical dis-ease, andso this isn't a made-up thing,
and for those of us who arehighly sensitive, people who are
neurodivergent, who do havechronic illness, it is more
(05:08):
important than ever for you toidentify your limits, identify
your threshold, identify thesigns that you're approaching
threshold, so that you canaccommodate your needs Instead
of enduring them, instead ofgaslighting yourself.
It's so common to say thingsI've done this too to say things
(05:28):
like oh, it's not that big of adeal, oh, it's nothing, I just
need to be less sensitive.
These were common phrases in myvocabulary.
I would get these signs tellingme hey, it's time to slow down.
Hey, it's time to take a break.
Hey, it's time to back off.
Hey, it's time to support yournervous system, hey, it's time
to accommodate your needs.
And I would ignore them.
(05:49):
I didn't trust them.
I thought I needed to bepushing myself more and doing
more because other people were,so I need to be like them, and
so I would ignore my own signsand signals and just keep
plowing forward until I wouldblow my threshold, and then I
would be in a whole world ofhurt.
(06:10):
Basically, my whole systemwould shut down, my mind would
stop functioning, my physicalsymptoms would flare up and I
would be in a world of hurt,sometimes to the point of
bedbound, because I didn'tlisten, and eventually my body
and soul stepped in and saidwell, if you're not going to
(06:31):
respect your threshold and giveyourself what you need and
support yourself, then we'regoing to force you to do it.
This can be challenging,especially in today's hustle
culture, especially when so manypeople operate from those
conditioned shards and thepeople pleasing, especially in a
world built for neurotypicalsand for those of us who aren't
(06:54):
neurotypical, there's been thistendency, if we've been
conditioned into this world, tobelieve that we need to do
what's necessary in order to fitin to this world of
neurotypicals.
To avoid rejection, to findacceptance, and ignoring our own
needs was one of these ways inorder to do that.
(07:15):
Now the rub is, the more youdon't accept where you are, who
you are and what your particularphysical and emotional needs
and limitations are, the thingsthat you don't accept control
you, so all these things thatyou don't accept about yourself
end up controlling you and theybecome a shadow that runs your
(07:37):
life.
This was a huge learning lessonfor me and I'm really grateful
that I've finally figured thisout, and it's one of the lessons
that I help my clients masterto greater and greater levels
through our work together.
When you understand your bodyand your nervous system, your
threshold as well as yourcapacity, and you accept,
(08:01):
respect and own these thingsabout yourself, they no longer
control you and then you're freeto find your flow, to operate
in a way that works best for you, instead of operating from the
shoulds, so you can set your ownschedule and work at your own
pace and work in ways that workbest for you and your nervous
(08:25):
system, instead of trying toforce yourself to work in ways
that your industry or professionsaid that you should.
This was a huge learning lessonfor me.
I know in the past, when I was anaturopathic doctor working in
clinic, the model was you seeback to back patients, one after
another after another, and Iwould see my patients for 60 to
(08:47):
90 minutes and I would haveenough time in between the
session to go take a wash andbreak and quickly review the
chart for my next client and seeanother patient.
And sometimes I would seeupwards of six, eight, ten
patients in a day like this.
Back to back to back to back,and I wondered why I was burning
out.
(09:07):
I wondered why, at the end ofthe day I would go home and
crash because I had nothing leftfor myself.
I didn't respect my own nervoussystem needs, my own self care
needs.
I didn't understand back thenthat I am a highly sensitive
person and I pick up on otherpeople's energy.
(09:28):
So I was picking up on theenergy of every single one of my
patients.
They were all impacting me andwhile I understood at that point
a little bit about energetichygiene, I didn't really fully
accept it, own it, respect itLike I do now, and because of
that I was able to help mypatients get better, find
(09:51):
healing, improve their symptoms.
But because I wasn't respectingmy own nervous system and
energetic needs, I was only ableto show up for them as much as
I was able to show up for myself, and if I'm not respecting my
threshold, then I'm not showingup for myself all that much.
So how much can I show up forthem?
(10:14):
I tricked myself and fooledmyself into thinking that I was
there for them, but it washollow energy.
I couldn't be fully me grounded, centered and fully
energetically contained andenergetically full when I wasn't
taking care of my needs andwhen I was not respecting my
(10:34):
threshold.
Now that I do, I get so muchmore accomplished and I'm able
to show up for my clients insuch a different way, because
now I am making sure that I'mprioritizing my own energy, my
own nervous system, my own needsfirst and foremost, so that I
(10:57):
can be centered and solid forthe client that's sitting in
front of me.
And some of those things thatI've had to do for myself in
order to respect my threshold isto adjust my schedule so that I
work less hours and have morefree time to do things outside
of work, like going for walks inthe forest with my dog in the
(11:21):
middle of the day and having thetime flexibility to be able to
do other things as they show up,so I can be in the moment with
my life, especially when itcomes to my life with my
sweetheart, so that I can pickup and go on dates in the woods
with him, so that we can pick upand go and run errands together
(11:43):
, so that I can enjoy presencewith him, because I'm not trying
to recover from having mythreshold blown.
I've spoken a little bit moreabout the details of some of the
shifts that I've made as ahighly sensitive person to
respect my threshold in aprevious podcast episode.
(12:04):
So I definitely suggest thatyou go and check that out if you
want more details about some ofthe more fine-tuned real-time
adjustments I've made to respectmy highly sensitive nervous
system.
Today I want to talk more aboutwhat happens when you do respect
those limits and create thoseboundaries and standards for
(12:25):
yourself and prioritize yourselfand no longer gaslight yourself
around ignoring those limitsand thresholds and approaching
them.
When you respect your limitsand threshold, you create the
environment that aligns withyour nervous system.
When you respect your limitsand threshold, you exclusively
focus on the topics and workinclined to how that you most
(12:49):
enjoy and you give yourselfpermission to leave the rest
behind.
And there's some mindset andperspective shifts that go along
with making that shift.
And once you make those mindsetshifts, once you see the
perspective of how important itactually is to actually do that
for yourself, it brings so muchmore fulfillment in so many ways
(13:12):
in your work as well as yourprivate life, as well as within
your relationships, because youhave more capacity for your
clients, for your relationshipsand for yourself.
And that changes everything,even if other people don't
understand because not everybodywill especially if they're
(13:32):
operating from the perspectiveof the socially conditioned rat
race belief of you always needto be doing, you need to always
be pushing yourself, you need toconstantly force yourself to
move past your limits and, in asense, like this is not a black
or white thing.
There's some discernment to behad here, like I've mentioned
earlier about building yourwindow of tolerance, but the key
(13:54):
is, especially for highlysensitive people, is to
understand that you can't alwaysbe in that state, because if
you do, you're not going to beable to bring all that you can
into your work and be all thatyou know that you are destined
to be.
When you don't respect yourlimits, you cannot operate at
your fullest potential.
(14:15):
And some people don't get thisbecause everybody's operating
from a different lens ofperspective based on their own
beliefs, and beliefs are createdwhen you have an experience and
you put meaning to thatexperience, and it sets up a
certain belief.
That is what influences thelens of perspective that you are
(14:35):
looking through.
And when other people makecomments, especially critical or
judgmental comments, about yourchoices that you are doing for
you and for your business andfor the clientele that you serve
, and they are making critical,judgmental, harsh or unapproving
comments, they're speaking fromtheir own inner projections.
(14:58):
They might tell you things likeyou're selfish for focusing on
a specific subset of clientele,that you shouldn't just be so
selective to zone in on just onespecific zone of genius, that
you shouldn't be limiting yourschedule, that you should, as an
entrepreneur, be making yourbusiness the number one priority
(15:22):
in your life, that you're justbeing selfish for prioritizing
yourself.
And the thing is that theircriticisms say more about their
own inner strife than anythingto do with you and your choices
you've made to support you andto support the results that
you're able to facilitate foryour clientele.
When you honor your threshold,you feel better.
(15:46):
You're more energetic,clear-headed, focused and
satisfied because you're caringfor yourself in the ways that
nurture you deeply.
And when you feel better, youdo better work, you enjoy it
more and the impact that youknow that you're here to make
for the people you serve growsexponentially.
(16:07):
You know that you're a leaderin your work and to lead by
example means honoring who youare and how you operate.
Especially if you identify as ahighly sensitive person,
neurodivergent or have some typeof chronic illness, like me,
these things don't need tocontrol your life.
(16:28):
When you understand, accept andown these aspects of yourself
and use your body and intuitionas a guide, you take the
driver's seat, and that not onlyimproves your own well-being,
but your impact, income andinner fulfillment from what it
is that you do.
As a highly sensitiveentrepreneur, I must respect my
(16:50):
limits and honor my threshold.
It makes me more successful inevery sense of the word, and
this is one of the many pillarsI guide my clients to master
more deeply than ever, becauseit does make such a difference
and sometimes it can be easy toveer off track.
So recently I ended up steppingaway from respecting my own
(17:12):
threshold.
My own mentor helped shed lighton where I had fallen back into
old patterns, and I'm sograteful that she did, because
this is the thing is, you can'tsee.
What you can't see, especiallywhen you fall back into old
patterns like pushing yourselfto do things oh, it's not that
big of a deal.
And this is especiallyproblematic when you actually do
(17:36):
really enjoy what you're doing,like I do In my work.
I really do enjoy what I do,and sometimes that means that I
end up over focusing on the workthat brings me joy, to the
point of losing balance with therest of my life.
I had fallen back into that oldpattern of doing that and I was
(17:58):
starting to notice that it wasimpacting how I was feeling.
Having a conversation with mymentor, we were able to piece
together oh, that's why I'mfeeling this way.
Oh, I see I'm like at like 75%threshold right now.
Okay, yep.
Having her point that outbefore I blew my threshold
(18:20):
really helped me see morequickly how I could realign
myself and bring myself back tothe most balanced position I can
and accept and own my needs,capacity and threshold and make
sure that I'm taking care of mynervous system needs and
accommodating them.
And so one of the things that Idid for myself to help
(18:42):
accommodate my needs and recoverfrom pushing my threshold was
taking a break from podcastinglast week, which is why you
didn't get a new episode lastweek.
I allowed that to be okay.
In the past I would have beatmyself up for that.
I would have put all sorts ofinner pressure on myself.
My inner judge would have beenscreaming at me what are you
(19:02):
doing?
You can't do this.
What are people going to think?
Now I can have gentle,compassionate, loving
conversations with thoseprotective parts of myself and
say, hey, I understand, you'rescared, you're feeling like
maybe everything's going to fallapart If you miss a week of
podcasting.
What's important here is makingsure that I'm taking care of
(19:27):
and that my nervous system istaking care of.
That means taking some time formyself, reminding those
protective parts that takingthat time for myself is better
for us in the long run, becausethen I can maintain my center
and my groundedness and myenergy and I can be here fully
(19:49):
for my clients and for you.
That is more impactful than metrying to burn the candle at
both ends, watching that threadfray away to the point where I
have nothing left to give.
That doesn't help anybody.
Today's podcast is a littlereminder about thresholds seeing
(20:12):
your threshold, understandingyour thresholds, identifying
when you're approachingthreshold, and also a point to
mention here about thresholds issometimes your threshold will
be different depending on what'sgoing on in your life.
The more challenges are goingon, the more external stressors
(20:34):
are showing up for you.
You might notice that yourthreshold looks different than
when things are maybe smoothsailing, fully stable.
You might notice that the signsof approaching threshold might
be different as well in each ofthose different situations.
It's not a cut or dry, black orwhite situation.
(20:56):
It's very nuanced.
This is where really payingattention to yourself and
connecting with your intuitionand your inner knowing and
understanding the language ofhow it speaks and not ignoring
it and not gaslighting yourselfaway from hearing it, trusting
it or responding to it.
(21:18):
That's huge and sometimes it'shard to see for yourself.
Sometimes it can be helpful tohave someone help you understand
these aspects of yourself andhelp you to see when you are
veering off track.
Help you to see and identifythe practical steps to take if
(21:41):
you are starting to approachthreshold, because it's in those
moments that you're probablygoing to have the least amount
of clarity about what's actuallygoing on.
And I say this from personalexperience myself, and that's
why, even though I'm a mentorfor other people, I have my own
people that I work with to helpme see what I can't see.
(22:02):
And when I guide and mentor myown clients, I help you
understand all the nuances aboutyourself, your superpowers and
how to use them in your work, aswell as your threshold and how
to understand how your thresholdworks, identify the signs
(22:24):
leading up to reaching yourthreshold and the strategic plan
of how to prevent blowing yourthreshold and how to support
yourself in recovering.
If you do, I help you to get toknow yourself even more deeply,
understand your threshold,accept it and also to identify
(22:49):
your capacity to deeper anddeeper levels and own them, so
that they don't own you.
And when you do that, morefreedom, fulfillment and
flourishing success are on theother side of that.
Life is a journey, with its upsand downs, with its challenges.
(23:09):
We don't live in a bubble, andworking with your threshold and
your capacity and your intuitiveguidance that helps you
understand and see where yourthreshold is being approached is
going to help you to be moreproductive and be more centered,
present and powerful in thework that you are doing and so
(23:32):
that you can enjoy what you'redoing so much more, because you
have the energy and clarity andvitality to do so.
And sometimes it's not alwayseasy to see it on your own, and
that's where I can come in andhelp you.
If that's something that you'reinterested in is to help you
really identify and understandwhere your threshold is and what
(23:53):
to do if you're approaching it,and, through mentorship, is to
support you along the way, tohelp you identify and see when
you are veering off track andgoing into old patterns again,
so that you can do theintegration work to turn that
around for yourself, and that'swhat improves absolutely
(24:15):
everything.
I hope this episode was helpfulfor you in some way to help you
understand a little bit moreabout honoring your threshold,
identifying it and where youmight be on that path and
journey for yourself, especiallyif you are a highly sensitive
person, neurodivergent orsomeone with a chronic illness.
(24:35):
If you would like mypersonalized guidance, I invite
you to check out the differentoptions in the show notes and if
you feel called to any of them,I invite you to fill out the
application and we can organizea conversation in order to see
whether or not working togethermakes sense for both of us.
I'll be honest if I don't thinkthat we're an aligned fit to
(24:58):
work together, because it's whenwe are an aligned fit to work
together that thetransformational magic really
happens.
I look forward to speaking toyou again next time.
Today, I want to talk about thresholds identifying
them, accepting them, honoringthem and respecting them,
especially if you are a highlysensitive entrepreneur.
If you've been following mypodcast, you know that I've been
putting out weekly sessions,but last week I missed a session
.
The reason why is because I wasapproaching a threshold and
(00:22):
something had to give, and whatgave was me recording a podcast
episode.
So, as you know, I'm a highlysensitive person.
I'm neurodivergent and I havechronic illnesses like
endometriosis and autoimmunity,and these conditions, for the
most part, are well managed.
For the most part, you couldsay that they're in remission.
(00:45):
However, I still need to bevery conscious about respecting
my limits.
This is a non-negotiable.
Otherwise, I can't create theimpact I desire or fully enjoy
what it is that I know that I'mhere to be doing.
So I want to talk to you aboutthat and how to honor, address,
(01:08):
identify and respect your ownthresholds so that you can be
your best and work at yourfullest potential.
The first thing to become awareof is where your limits are.
What is your threshold?
Somebody has a different levelat which their threshold is in
(01:30):
terms of where that sand in theline is drawn before you hit a
wall, before you reach burnout,before things become too
overwhelming or too much for youto handle and you cannot
continue the way that you'recontinuing.
You need to stop, you need totake a break, you need to take a
(01:52):
nap, you need to go to bed, youneed to be all sick, your
symptoms come back, you get aflare up.
These are all examples ofreaching a threshold and it gets
to the point where your bodysays that's enough, we can't do
this anymore.
Awareness is always the firststep, recognizing the signs that
(02:12):
you've not only reachedthreshold, but what are those
signs that you're approaching it?
Your body and mind gives yousigns and messages leading up to
your limit, signs that you'reat 75% capacity, 50%, 25%, even
5% or 10%.
(02:33):
They're usually whispers thatget louder the closer you reach
your personal threshold.
These signs can be differentfor different people.
Some examples can be feelingoverwhelmed, shutting down,
starting to get irritated,losing interest in what you're
doing.
You might notice physicalsensations like tight or sore
(02:54):
muscles, and they might be justa little bit at the beginning
and get worse and worse withtime the further and further you
are approaching thresholdExhaustion, intolerance to
sounds, bright lights orexercise, or physical symptoms
like digestive issues, sleepdisturbances or headaches.
These, of course, are just afew of a thousand other examples
(03:16):
, and of course, they mightindicate other things as well.
I'm not here to diagnose ortreat anything.
This is just information, andyou might notice that at
different levels of approachingthreshold, different types of
signs or messages might occur.
So you might notice you gettight muscles at around like 25%
(03:39):
threshold, but it's thedigestive symptoms that show up
at 50%, and then maybe themigraine starts at 75%, for
example.
It could be anything, and I'mnot saying that this is
something to avoid approachingthreshold, because sometimes
it's important to challengeourselves.
(04:00):
However, it's about findingthat fine balance between
challenge that helps you growand overstepping the boundaries
that cause you to be inchallenge too much, because what
happens is, especially with ournervous system little bits of
(04:22):
challenge helps your nervoussystem to widen its window of
tolerance, but what happens isover time, if it's constant and
you don't give your nervoussystem breaks, opportunities to
relax and finding your way backdown from being in challenging
moments for your nervous system.
(04:44):
It's been proven scientificallythat allostatic load over time,
if not relieved, does lead tophysical symptoms, physical
ailments, physical dis-ease, andso this isn't a made-up thing,
and for those of us who arehighly sensitive, people who are
neurodivergent, who do havechronic illness, it is more
(05:08):
important than ever for you toidentify your limits, identify
your threshold, identify thesigns that you're approaching
threshold, so that you canaccommodate your needs Instead
of enduring them, instead ofgaslighting yourself.
It's so common to say thingsI've done this too to say things
(05:28):
like oh, it's not that big of adeal, oh, it's nothing, I just
need to be less sensitive.
These were common phrases in myvocabulary.
I would get these signs tellingme hey, it's time to slow down.
Hey, it's time to take a break.
Hey, it's time to back off.
Hey, it's time to support yournervous system, hey, it's time
to accommodate your needs.
And I would ignore them.
(05:49):
I didn't trust them.
I thought I needed to bepushing myself more and doing
more because other people were,so I need to be like them, and
so I would ignore my own signsand signals and just keep
plowing forward until I wouldblow my threshold, and then I
would be in a whole world ofhurt.
(06:10):
Basically, my whole systemwould shut down, my mind would
stop functioning, my physicalsymptoms would flare up and I
would be in a world of hurt,sometimes to the point of
bedbound, because I didn'tlisten, and eventually my body
and soul stepped in and saidwell, if you're not going to
(06:31):
respect your threshold and giveyourself what you need and
support yourself, then we'regoing to force you to do it.
This can be challenging,especially in today's hustle
culture, especially when so manypeople operate from those
conditioned shards and thepeople pleasing, especially in a
world built for neurotypicalsand for those of us who aren't
(06:54):
neurotypical, there's been thistendency, if we've been
conditioned into this world, tobelieve that we need to do
what's necessary in order to fitin to this world of
neurotypicals.
To avoid rejection, to findacceptance, and ignoring our own
needs was one of these ways inorder to do that.
(07:15):
Now the rub is, the more youdon't accept where you are, who
you are and what your particularphysical and emotional needs
and limitations are, the thingsthat you don't accept control
you, so all these things thatyou don't accept about yourself
end up controlling you and theybecome a shadow that runs your
(07:37):
life.
This was a huge learning lessonfor me and I'm really grateful
that I've finally figured thisout, and it's one of the lessons
that I help my clients masterto greater and greater levels
through our work together.
When you understand your bodyand your nervous system, your
threshold as well as yourcapacity, and you accept,
(08:01):
respect and own these thingsabout yourself, they no longer
control you and then you're freeto find your flow, to operate
in a way that works best for you, instead of operating from the
shoulds, so you can set your ownschedule and work at your own
pace and work in ways that workbest for you and your nervous
(08:25):
system, instead of trying toforce yourself to work in ways
that your industry or professionsaid that you should.
This was a huge learning lessonfor me.
I know in the past, when I was anaturopathic doctor working in
clinic, the model was you seeback to back patients, one after
another after another, and Iwould see my patients for 60 to
(08:47):
90 minutes and I would haveenough time in between the
session to go take a wash andbreak and quickly review the
chart for my next client and seeanother patient.
And sometimes I would seeupwards of six, eight, ten
patients in a day like this.
Back to back to back to back,and I wondered why I was burning
out.
(09:07):
I wondered why, at the end ofthe day I would go home and
crash because I had nothing leftfor myself.
I didn't respect my own nervoussystem needs, my own self care
needs.
I didn't understand back thenthat I am a highly sensitive
person and I pick up on otherpeople's energy.
(09:28):
So I was picking up on theenergy of every single one of my
patients.
They were all impacting me andwhile I understood at that point
a little bit about energetichygiene, I didn't really fully
accept it, own it, respect itLike I do now, and because of
that I was able to help mypatients get better, find
(09:51):
healing, improve their symptoms.
But because I wasn't respectingmy own nervous system and
energetic needs, I was only ableto show up for them as much as
I was able to show up for myself, and if I'm not respecting my
threshold, then I'm not showingup for myself all that much.
So how much can I show up forthem?
(10:14):
I tricked myself and fooledmyself into thinking that I was
there for them, but it washollow energy.
I couldn't be fully me grounded, centered and fully
energetically contained andenergetically full when I wasn't
taking care of my needs andwhen I was not respecting my
(10:34):
threshold.
Now that I do, I get so muchmore accomplished and I'm able
to show up for my clients insuch a different way, because
now I am making sure that I'mprioritizing my own energy, my
own nervous system, my own needsfirst and foremost, so that I
(10:57):
can be centered and solid forthe client that's sitting in
front of me.
And some of those things thatI've had to do for myself in
order to respect my threshold isto adjust my schedule so that I
work less hours and have morefree time to do things outside
of work, like going for walks inthe forest with my dog in the
(11:21):
middle of the day and having thetime flexibility to be able to
do other things as they show up,so I can be in the moment with
my life, especially when itcomes to my life with my
sweetheart, so that I can pickup and go on dates in the woods
with him, so that we can pick upand go and run errands together
(11:43):
, so that I can enjoy presencewith him, because I'm not trying
to recover from having mythreshold blown.
I've spoken a little bit moreabout the details of some of the
shifts that I've made as ahighly sensitive person to
respect my threshold in aprevious podcast episode.
(12:04):
So I definitely suggest thatyou go and check that out if you
want more details about some ofthe more fine-tuned real-time
adjustments I've made to respectmy highly sensitive nervous
system.
Today I want to talk more aboutwhat happens when you do respect
those limits and create thoseboundaries and standards for
(12:25):
yourself and prioritize yourselfand no longer gaslight yourself
around ignoring those limitsand thresholds and approaching
them.
When you respect your limitsand threshold, you create the
environment that aligns withyour nervous system.
When you respect your limitsand threshold, you exclusively
focus on the topics and workinclined to how that you most
(12:49):
enjoy and you give yourselfpermission to leave the rest
behind.
And there's some mindset andperspective shifts that go along
with making that shift.
And once you make those mindsetshifts, once you see the
perspective of how important itactually is to actually do that
for yourself, it brings so muchmore fulfillment in so many ways
(13:12):
in your work as well as yourprivate life, as well as within
your relationships, because youhave more capacity for your
clients, for your relationshipsand for yourself.
And that changes everything,even if other people don't
understand because not everybodywill especially if they're
(13:32):
operating from the perspectiveof the socially conditioned rat
race belief of you always needto be doing, you need to always
be pushing yourself, you need toconstantly force yourself to
move past your limits and, in asense, like this is not a black
or white thing.
There's some discernment to behad here, like I've mentioned
earlier about building yourwindow of tolerance, but the key
(13:54):
is, especially for highlysensitive people, is to
understand that you can't alwaysbe in that state, because if
you do, you're not going to beable to bring all that you can
into your work and be all thatyou know that you are destined
to be.
When you don't respect yourlimits, you cannot operate at
your fullest potential.
(14:15):
And some people don't get thisbecause everybody's operating
from a different lens ofperspective based on their own
beliefs, and beliefs are createdwhen you have an experience and
you put meaning to thatexperience, and it sets up a
certain belief.
That is what influences thelens of perspective that you are
(14:35):
looking through.
And when other people makecomments, especially critical or
judgmental comments, about yourchoices that you are doing for
you and for your business andfor the clientele that you serve
, and they are making critical,judgmental, harsh or unapproving
comments, they're speaking fromtheir own inner projections.
(14:58):
They might tell you things likeyou're selfish for focusing on
a specific subset of clientele,that you shouldn't just be so
selective to zone in on just onespecific zone of genius, that
you shouldn't be limiting yourschedule, that you should, as an
entrepreneur, be making yourbusiness the number one priority
(15:22):
in your life, that you're justbeing selfish for prioritizing
yourself.
And the thing is that theircriticisms say more about their
own inner strife than anythingto do with you and your choices
you've made to support you andto support the results that
you're able to facilitate foryour clientele.
When you honor your threshold,you feel better.
(15:46):
You're more energetic,clear-headed, focused and
satisfied because you're caringfor yourself in the ways that
nurture you deeply.
And when you feel better, youdo better work, you enjoy it
more and the impact that youknow that you're here to make
for the people you serve growsexponentially.
(16:07):
You know that you're a leaderin your work and to lead by
example means honoring who youare and how you operate.
Especially if you identify as ahighly sensitive person,
neurodivergent or have some typeof chronic illness, like me,
these things don't need tocontrol your life.
(16:28):
When you understand, accept andown these aspects of yourself
and use your body and intuitionas a guide, you take the
driver's seat, and that not onlyimproves your own well-being,
but your impact, income andinner fulfillment from what it
is that you do.
As a highly sensitiveentrepreneur, I must respect my
(16:50):
limits and honor my threshold.
It makes me more successful inevery sense of the word, and
this is one of the many pillarsI guide my clients to master
more deeply than ever, becauseit does make such a difference
and sometimes it can be easy toveer off track.
So recently I ended up steppingaway from respecting my own
(17:12):
threshold.
My own mentor helped shed lighton where I had fallen back into
old patterns, and I'm sograteful that she did, because
this is the thing is, you can'tsee.
What you can't see, especiallywhen you fall back into old
patterns like pushing yourselfto do things oh, it's not that
big of a deal.
And this is especiallyproblematic when you actually do
(17:36):
really enjoy what you're doing,like I do In my work.
I really do enjoy what I do,and sometimes that means that I
end up over focusing on the workthat brings me joy, to the
point of losing balance with therest of my life.
I had fallen back into that oldpattern of doing that and I was
(17:58):
starting to notice that it wasimpacting how I was feeling.
Having a conversation with mymentor, we were able to piece
together oh, that's why I'mfeeling this way.
Oh, I see I'm like at like 75%threshold right now.
Okay, yep.
Having her point that outbefore I blew my threshold
(18:20):
really helped me see morequickly how I could realign
myself and bring myself back tothe most balanced position I can
and accept and own my needs,capacity and threshold and make
sure that I'm taking care of mynervous system needs and
accommodating them.
And so one of the things that Idid for myself to help
(18:42):
accommodate my needs and recoverfrom pushing my threshold was
taking a break from podcastinglast week, which is why you
didn't get a new episode lastweek.
I allowed that to be okay.
In the past I would have beatmyself up for that.
I would have put all sorts ofinner pressure on myself.
My inner judge would have beenscreaming at me what are you
(19:02):
doing?
You can't do this.
What are people going to think?
Now I can have gentle,compassionate, loving
conversations with thoseprotective parts of myself and
say, hey, I understand, you'rescared, you're feeling like
maybe everything's going to fallapart If you miss a week of
podcasting.
What's important here is makingsure that I'm taking care of
(19:27):
and that my nervous system istaking care of.
That means taking some time formyself, reminding those
protective parts that takingthat time for myself is better
for us in the long run, becausethen I can maintain my center
and my groundedness and myenergy and I can be here fully
(19:49):
for my clients and for you.
That is more impactful than metrying to burn the candle at
both ends, watching that threadfray away to the point where I
have nothing left to give.
That doesn't help anybody.
Today's podcast is a littlereminder about thresholds seeing
(20:12):
your threshold, understandingyour thresholds, identifying
when you're approachingthreshold, and also a point to
mention here about thresholds issometimes your threshold will
be different depending on what'sgoing on in your life.
The more challenges are goingon, the more external stressors
(20:34):
are showing up for you.
You might notice that yourthreshold looks different than
when things are maybe smoothsailing, fully stable.
You might notice that the signsof approaching threshold might
be different as well in each ofthose different situations.
It's not a cut or dry, black orwhite situation.
(20:56):
It's very nuanced.
This is where really payingattention to yourself and
connecting with your intuitionand your inner knowing and
understanding the language ofhow it speaks and not ignoring
it and not gaslighting yourselfaway from hearing it, trusting
it or responding to it.
(21:18):
That's huge and sometimes it'shard to see for yourself.
Sometimes it can be helpful tohave someone help you understand
these aspects of yourself andhelp you to see when you are
veering off track.
Help you to see and identifythe practical steps to take if
(21:41):
you are starting to approachthreshold, because it's in those
moments that you're probablygoing to have the least amount
of clarity about what's actuallygoing on.
And I say this from personalexperience myself, and that's
why, even though I'm a mentorfor other people, I have my own
people that I work with to helpme see what I can't see.
(22:02):
And when I guide and mentor myown clients, I help you
understand all the nuances aboutyourself, your superpowers and
how to use them in your work, aswell as your threshold and how
to understand how your thresholdworks, identify the signs
(22:24):
leading up to reaching yourthreshold and the strategic plan
of how to prevent blowing yourthreshold and how to support
yourself in recovering.
If you do, I help you to get toknow yourself even more deeply,
understand your threshold,accept it and also to identify
(22:49):
your capacity to deeper anddeeper levels and own them, so
that they don't own you.
And when you do that, morefreedom, fulfillment and
flourishing success are on theother side of that.
Life is a journey, with its upsand downs, with its challenges.
(23:09):
We don't live in a bubble, andworking with your threshold and
your capacity and your intuitiveguidance that helps you
understand and see where yourthreshold is being approached is
going to help you to be moreproductive and be more centered,
present and powerful in thework that you are doing and so
(23:32):
that you can enjoy what you'redoing so much more, because you
have the energy and clarity andvitality to do so.
And sometimes it's not alwayseasy to see it on your own, and
that's where I can come in andhelp you.
If that's something that you'reinterested in is to help you
really identify and understandwhere your threshold is and what
(23:53):
to do if you're approaching it,and, through mentorship, is to
support you along the way, tohelp you identify and see when
you are veering off track andgoing into old patterns again,
so that you can do theintegration work to turn that
around for yourself, and that'swhat improves absolutely
(24:15):
everything.
I hope this episode was helpfulfor you in some way to help you
understand a little bit moreabout honoring your threshold,
identifying it and where youmight be on that path and
journey for yourself, especiallyif you are a highly sensitive
person, neurodivergent orsomeone with a chronic illness.
(24:35):
If you would like mypersonalized guidance, I invite
you to check out the differentoptions in the show notes and if
you feel called to any of them,I invite you to fill out the
application and we can organizea conversation in order to see
whether or not working togethermakes sense for both of us.
I'll be honest if I don't thinkthat we're an aligned fit to
(24:58):
work together, because it's whenwe are an aligned fit to work
together that thetransformational magic really
happens.
I look forward to speaking toyou again next time.
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