June 25, 2025 • 42 mins
What happens when the life you worked tirelessly to build no longer fits?
In this special bonus episode, Melissa sits down with Gena Chieco—former White House attorney turned soulful leadership coach—for a conversation that travels from burnout and breakdown to bold reinvention. Together, they trace Gena’s journey from prestigious public service and clean tech leadership to walking away from it all, taking a one-way flight to Paris, and rebuilding her life from the inside out.
They talk about the moment when “success” stopped feeling like enough, the sacred discomfort of not knowing who you are anymore, and the transformation that comes when you finally stop chasing external approval and start following your own resonance.
This episode is a love letter to anyone who feels like they’re circling around a next chapter but can’t quite leap. It’s about trust, truth, nervous system healing, and the unexpected freedom that lives on the other side of letting go.
✨ If this conversation speaks to you, doors for ORBIT are open until July 19th. Learn more and apply at thenovaglobal.com/nova-orbit
If you loved today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaways by screenshotting this episode and tagging us on Instagram! We also have a free monthly community call on the first Wednesday of every month, join here!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
UNKNOWN (00:00):
Hmm.
SPEAKER_02 (00:02):
To even question what you've been told is true is
incredibly courageous.
It doesn't always feel likecourage what looks like courage
to other people.
For me, it feels like survival.
This is our personal medicine.
SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
If I'm surrounded by thinkers, by lovers, by passion,
by integrity, then I really dothink that I know who I am.
SPEAKER_05 (00:21):
There is a peace that is indescribable when
you're being who you are andyou're living your purpose.
I'm not going to come to the endof my life and be like, I didn't
live the life I was meant tolive.
SPEAKER_01 (00:30):
Can I be so comfortable in the idea and so
comfortable in that uncertaintythat every version of it is
going to be okay.
SPEAKER_03 (00:38):
This is the Inner Rebel Podcast.
Hey there, Rebels.
This is Melissa Bachmeit, one ofyour hosts of Inner Rebel.
And today we have a littlesomething different for you.
It's a bonus episode that I justhad to share.
(00:59):
As most of you know, I'm thefounder of a company called The
Nova.
It's a community for soul-ledwomen and non-binary individuals
who are done performing andready to rise in full alignment
with who they are.
And recently I had aconversation with one of our
trusted advisors, Jenna Chieko,who's also stepping in as the
first facilitator of The Orbit,which is our newest high-level
(01:21):
offering inside of The Nova.
And this conversation was sopowerful.
It was rooted in truth,leadership, and a path of an
inner rebel that I just knew Iwanted to bring it here.
Because while we're talkingabout business and leadership,
what we're really talking aboutis the journey of coming home to
yourself, trusting your voice,and creating from a place that's
fully aligned.
(01:41):
Before we drop into thisepisode, here's a bit of
context.
The Orbit is a year-longexperience for women, who are
ready to stop circling aroundthe thing they know they're
meant to build and finally bringit to life.
Whether it's the next iterationof your business, a new
business, a movement, a creativevision, or a new way of leading,
the orb is designed to hold youthrough it all in a cohort of 10
(02:05):
other people and a facilitatorwho's been doing this for
decades with strategy, soul, andcommunity.
So if you're someone who's beenfeeling the nudge to expand but
wants to do it withoutabandoning your body your values
or your truth, this one's foryou.
Let's dive in.
Okay.
Hello, hello.
I'm so excited to get to havethis conversation with you
(02:27):
today.
Jenna is living what I wouldconsider a dream life.
Recently moved to France from LAand I have this dream of living
in France.
One day I took French as a younggirl and so anytime around the
French language I'm like so muchso I love that we're having a
conversation today just aboutwho you are because we want to
(02:50):
get our community to know whoyou are I felt like well gosh
everyone already knows Jennashe's been around for a year
with the Nova but you werebehind the scenes with the Nova
so I'm really excited to haveyou share your life, your story.
This sounds corny, but like whatyour hopes and dreams are for
what we're creating with TheOrbit, because this is a really
(03:11):
special thing that we'veco-created.
So thank you for taking the timeto share about who you are.
Thank you.
It's such an honor and joy to behere with you and to
SPEAKER_04 (03:20):
delve into this further.
SPEAKER_03 (03:22):
Yeah.
So I'm going to take you back.
Back in the day, you had what alot of people would consider a
dream career.
You worked in the White House,general counsel.
You had a lot of high levelroles.
You were an attorney and youleft that behind.
And so I would love for you toshare.
And people always ask about amoment.
I found that maybe you have likea specific moment.
(03:45):
I found that mine was such asequence of moments.
And I'm like, how do you pickone?
It's more like a drawn out thingthat happens over time.
But I would love for you toshare what that was like for you
to have this fancy career youworked so hard for and start to
feel like something was shiftinginside of you.
SPEAKER_02 (04:03):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_04 (04:03):
it is more of a series of learnings than one
moment, although, of course, Ican place a few key moments.
But thanks for this opportunityto share a little bit more in
case it resonates for those whoare listening.
So public service is a themethat's been woven throughout my
life.
And yes, serving both terms ofthe Obama administration felt
like I hit the jackpot.
It was deeply fulfilling.
(04:24):
I worked on immigration reformefforts at the Department of
Homeland Security.
I worked on energy environmentalissues at the White House.
I was surrounded by brilliant,talented peers.
And in many ways, I felt like Ihad reached this dream of what I
never even potentially couldhave imagined when I first
started my journey in lawschool.
Yet in quiet moments, when I wasbeing honest with myself, I
(04:46):
couldn't shake this feeling thatsomething was missing and that I
was yearning for something more.
I didn't have the words for it.
And so, of course, Iinternalized it and I figured
something's wrong with me.
Maybe I'm depressed.
Who am I to complain?
And I kind of just chugged alongwith my legal career.
And then a lot of things startedto come crashing Thank you so
(05:06):
much.
(05:32):
Unemployed, Miserable, LonelyAnd it was terrific.
It fulfilled a lot of things Ihad been curious about having
spent most of my career ingovernment.
Now it was a chance for me to bein a fast-paced private sector
(05:55):
experience with a mission that Iwas aligned around.
However, I did get burned out.
I thought I was immune toburnout.
I don't think I reallyunderstood what burnout was, but
I'd worked crazy hours in mycareer.
SPEAKER_03 (06:05):
I really relate to you in this particular
SPEAKER_04 (06:07):
thing.
So I was like, burnout until ithappened.
I'm invincible.
I'm invincible.
Oh, yeah.
And then I was like, why do Ihave a sleep disorder?
And like, why are these thingshappening to me?
I learned that.
through now immersing myself inthis topic, but it's not just
long hours.
There's typically other thingsthat contribute to burnout.
And for me, ultimately, I feltlike I couldn't stand in my
integrity and stay in theworkplace there.
(06:29):
There were some things going on.
That's about all I can say aboutit.
But that was one of thesepivotal moments.
It was kind of like MidlifeAwakening Part 2.
Like Midlife Awakening Part 1was all the stuff that happened
in DC that got me to California.
And then Midlife Awakening Part2 was quitting this job.
I had never quit anything in mylife.
I had just been through so much.
The year prior, I thought I wasgoing to be there indefinitely.
(06:52):
We were in a B-raise.
There was a lot of excitingpossibilities, but I just knew
my truth that I needed to leave.
And so I honored a yearning totake a travel sabbatical.
And if I had been braver, Iwould have taken that travel
sabbatical right when I leftgovernment in 2017.
But I felt I was kind of wrappedwith fears around who's going to
hire me and minimizing myabilities and resume and all the
(07:13):
things.
So now is my chance.
Once again, the stars align andI was like, I'm doing this.
So I booked a one-way ticket toParis and it was absolutely
life-changing to be on thatsabbatical.
One of the biggest things I hadto work through was giving
myself permission.
Like, I had never just spentmoney.
I never not had an income comein.
It just was hard.
(07:34):
But I'm so glad I honored thatbecause it really led me to
dramatically change my life.
And that was the bridge toleaving the law, was letting go
of the startup role, taking mysabbatical, and just having this
metamorphosis through the
SPEAKER_03 (07:49):
experience.
Yeah.
I really love that you mentionedthat You said, if I had been
braver, I would have done it atthis moment.
But I think that because I workwith a lot of women and a lot of
women in the Nova are at thispivotal point where they're like
having the feelings that youmentioned that maybe there
aren't words for it.
I mean, I started having themback in 2017 to 2019.
(08:11):
I left my career in 2019.
And there could be a lot ofshoulds like it could feel like,
oh, I failed because I didn't doit sooner or because I went back
to a job.
There can be some shame aroundthe process that to really
separate from a whole identity.
(08:54):
This thing that we call ouridentity as far as our careers
go, because that's not who weare, but we're so ingrained to
be like, oh, my work is who Iam, especially when you work so
hard to have a specific careertrajectory.
It feels like it's all of you,right?
Yes.
So thank you for speaking tothat of like, gosh, I didn't do
the bravest thing, but sometimesit's all your system can handle
in that moment.
(09:14):
Moving across the country andhaving your whole life implode
is enough, you know, and thenyou like settle your system a
little bit and then you can makea braver choice.
So let's talk a little bit aboutthat time in your sabbatical
because I'm curious and we couldprobably spend our entire time
together talking about what youlearned because it changed your
whole entire life.
(09:35):
It's kind of set the foundationfor who you are today.
So can you share a little bitabout what you learned about
yourself and what leadershipreally means when you took that
time to buy a one-way ticket andfigure out your next move?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (09:50):
Yeah, and thank you for this question.
It's such a fascinating timingright now because, as you had
mentioned, I just moved toFrance in April.
Mm-hmm.
And that trip started with aone-way ticket to Paris as well.
I'm currently in the countrysidenow outside of Bordeaux and I'm
revisiting places since I'vemoved here that I haven't been
to since my 2018 sabbatical.
(10:10):
So it's such a powerfulrevisiting of who I was in 2018
on my sabbatical and who I amnow and how much has happened in
these seven years or less thanseven years.
It's pretty wild.
So there was so much that Ilearned on my sabbatical and
yes, we could spend the wholetime talking about it.
But I often reflect on the factthat I feel very privileged and
fortunate.
I've literally traveled aroundthe world.
(10:31):
I've traveled extensively.
And the greatest adventure ofthis lifetime has been my
homecoming to my true self.
And my sabbatical was such agateway to that.
As I mentioned, I was prettyburnt out.
I was struggling with a lot ofthings.
I was lost.
I was full of fear and doubt.
And there was kind of thisexquisite contrast between those
fear gremlins and then my innerknowing of this is where I'm
(10:55):
meant to be.
This is what I'm meant to do.
Like it was written in me allThere was a real sense of
empowerment in that.
But one of the biggest lessonswas there's a quote that
captures this.
Alexander Dan Hager said, youoften feel tired not because
you've done too much, butbecause you've done too little
of what sparks a light in you.
And that was the story of mylife at that point.
(11:15):
I had been chasing these thingsthat I thought would bring me
fulfillment and notunderstanding there were a lot
of coping mechanisms andsurvival strategies woven into
them.
I was pretty much a walkingcluster of coping mechanisms.
Like workaholism, perfectionism,people pleasing.
And I kept rising up the ranks.
And it was really when I got tothat role of general counsel and
(11:35):
also, yes, working at the WhiteHouse, it's like, okay, I'm
experiencing all these things.
And yet I still feel likesomething's missing.
And that was my invitation toreally dramatically change
things.
And it wasn't even necessarilyintentional.
Like when I look back on it, Ithink sometimes our soul knows
our way and these things surfacewithout us intellectualizing.
It just surfaces.
And if we're so fortunate tomeet these things, we do.
(11:58):
And so every waking moment on myspectacle was around what sparks
joy, what feeds my spirit, likea blank canvas of how do I want
to paint this picture of who Iam.
And I didn't know it washappening at the time, but I
really restored the essence ofwho I am, mind, body, heart, and
soul.
And I had never really thoughtabout those four pillars of who
we are before.
(12:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(12:48):
Trusting the unfolding and thismessy thing called life, which
is not linear at all.
And I did not quite understandthat at the time.
Deprogramming from theproductivity myth, learning to
set healthy boundaries andhonoring my needs, that whole
zero Fs.
Spirit really took hold when Iwas on my side.
Gave you no choice.
(13:08):
Another really big learning wasaround deeper purpose.
So I had taken my former type Aattitude of like hustle, grind,
get shit done.
Like I'm going to figure out mypurpose.
I worked with a career coach.
I took assessments.
It was like, what is my purpose?
And Also unexpectedly through mysabbatical, it was like my
purpose surfaced, like a seedsprouting through earth because
I was restoring who I am, theessence of who I am.
(13:30):
And I think on like a deeperpsyche level, I allowed myself
to feel safe in surfacing likethe most sacred parts of who I
am, which is my deeper purpose.
And I enrolled in a coachtraining program at that time.
I never thought I'd be a coach.
I didn't even know what coachingwas, but I did it through Martha
Beck, who I found veryinspiring.
And her teachings are reallyfocused on shedding the social
self and embracing our often Sothat was a lot of what my
(13:57):
sabbatical led to.
SPEAKER_03 (14:17):
Well, so often, and I don't say this to offend
anybody, but there's adifference between
intellectually learningsomething and then bodying a
learning.
And anyone that I have hired,I'm like, what should have you
lived through?
Tell me your story.
So I'm glad you have thetraining, but have you walked
it?
Have you...
(14:38):
Brought yourself, not that youhave to always bring yourself
back from ashes.
I mean, I've done it in ways,but I didn't have like my whole
life blew up and well, you know,and I know that so many people's
stories.
I don't have that.
But I think that being able towalk your talk is so important
because so much of holding thatspace comes from that deep
(14:59):
connection.
Like cellular knowing of like,yeah, no, I know what it feels
like in my story to be in thisgreat unknown, to have this
feeling, to be so ambitious, tohave accomplished so much and
feel like it's not it.
But this is terrifying.
It works so hard for this thing.
And a lot of people never leave.
I think we're really fortunatein this time that we have a lot
(15:21):
of access to information and wehave permission via other people
seeing that other people havedone it.
And I don't necessarily thinkeveryone needs to leave their
career either.
And I believe you think thattoo.
It's more of, are you showing upin a way that allows you to be
you no matter what you're doing?
(15:42):
Because I don't necessarilybelieve anymore that our purpose
is our work.
I believe that our purpose isbeing ourselves and whatever
work emerges from the the giftof getting to be ourselves.
It's sort of a convergence.
I don't feel like I havedifferent selves anymore.
I'm not like, oh, I'm thisperson over here.
And then I switch over here andI'm this person.
(16:03):
And, you know, so you're nottrying to shapeshift your whole
life and you just become I'mJenna and I show up as Jenna,
whether I'm with my friends orI'm at work or I'm on a coaching
call or I'm doing thisinterview.
It's like you just get to be whoyou are.
And that in of itself is, Ithink, the greatest gift we
could ever give ourselves.
Yes, 100%.
(16:24):
Hands down.
So kudos to you.
And I know it takes so much morethan what you're able to say
even today of what it takes togo there, I say in air quotes,
because meeting yourself inthose places, it takes a level
of courage and vulnerabilitythat's really hard to put into
words.
SPEAKER_04 (16:42):
Yeah, thank you for all that.
I really, everything you sharedresonates for me.
And it's funny, people havecommented, oh my gosh, you
totally live like an Eat, Pray,Love chapter.
And I joke that it was more Eat,Pray, Self-Love because I came
into true self-love through thatchapter, not necessarily having
the words or understanding ofwhat was going on, but to really
embrace the full spectrum of whowe are.
(17:03):
The shadows, the light, thegifts, the vulnerabilities to
meet ourselves with the samefull hearted compassion that we
meet others in our lives is thegateway towards this.
And it is something of aprivilege to take a sabbatical.
I had pretty modest savings frommy career in federal service and
I wasn't the most financiallysavvy, let's just say.
But I took that risk and it paidoff dividends for me.
SPEAKER_03 (17:26):
Yeah.
I have to like chew on my tongueto not dive into all of these
other side topics that I'm like,oh, I want to dive into the
money side of things.
But we don't have all day totalk to each other.
Maybe there'll be a part two.
So one of the things that we gotfeedback on as we started to
talk about the orbit, and we'regoing to dive into that now, is
that your resume was soimpressive that it was
(17:47):
intimidating.
Yeah.
And I'm like, oh gosh, we got totell her whole story because I
think it speaks to how wecategorize people.
And there's this measuring upthat we do as women of, am I
good enough?
Have I accomplished enough?
Do I belong in that room?
And this is one of the mostimportant things that I want to
(18:07):
do with our work at the Nova andwith the Orbit is sort of
dismantling this belonging.
Like you get to be in the roomand getting myself in these
rooms that I thought I had nobusiness being in, to be clear.
And really over the last severalyears is what allowed me to
start to see everyone as a humanbeing and really see that, yes,
(18:31):
you've done incredible Yeah.
(19:00):
I will call them, I don't knowwhose term is expanders, but
expanders or vision holders orpeople that really stretch you
into your becoming your nextlevel.
And I think, again, if we canget our authentic voice and our
sense of belonging, like we'repretty much nailing life right
there.
No big deal.
No big deal.
(19:20):
Just a few things on the menu.
Just some dark nights in thesoul to heal.
I know.
Speaking of dark nights andpeople are like, what kind of
people are in Nova?
And I'm like, generallyspeaking, they've been through
some sort of dark night of thesoul.
Like we set out to attract that,but it's sort of what happened
because it's kind of a byproductof going through some shit in
life and being like, hmm, how doI want to choose to live?
(19:43):
And what's the reality that Iwant to consciously create?
Having said all of that, when westarted to vision, what could
our next level be?
don't even like to refer to itlike that, but a more
concentrated cohort ofindividuals who want more
accountability, who want toreally have focused attention on
(20:04):
something, whether that'sbuilding the business, whether
that's exiting the career,whether that's like deepening
into a transformation in theirleadership style.
I really wanted somebody likeyou who and everyone that will
ever facilitate inside of theorbit.
So our vision is to have thecohorts, which we're calling
Stellars.
There'll be groups of call it 10ish individuals that are part of
(20:26):
the greater Nova ecosystem.
So you'll have access to all ofthe people and all of the
programming.
If you choose, you're not juston an isolated island.
We really want you to be part ofthe whole But that every person
who facilitates and we have afaculty of coaches has walked
(20:51):
the talk, walked the walk.
That was a very windy road toget to my question, but...
Welcome
SPEAKER_04 (20:58):
to
SPEAKER_03 (21:05):
the meeting.
and the heart behind it.
What drew you to want to say yesto being a part of this and
being a facilitator in our firstcohort?
SPEAKER_04 (21:25):
Yeah, that's such a great question.
Again, I'm so honored to be apart of this.
And from our first conversation,I knew we were aligned.
And these kinds of conversationsare just sparking so many ideas
and vision.
So it's really such an honor.
The fact that the NOVA isdedicated to integrated,
embodied, conscious leadershipand inclusivity, diversity are
(21:47):
really big factors for me of thedraw and why I'm so excited
about this.
Having served as a proud memberof your advisory board these
months, it's been such a giftand joy to witness your
leadership and the vision thatyou and your team are bringing
to the orbit as well to thebroader community.
And the alignment on missionvisions values is something that
(22:12):
is really integral as well.
Holding space for women andnon-binary members is really a
sacred experience for me.
The first time I started leadingcircles, I had this feeling like
my entire life led to thismoment.
And if I can take a moment toexplain that further.
I used to vision out goals fromthat intellectual space, like
(22:34):
KPIs or OKRs, and I'd jot smartgoals.
Like it was very methodical andlogistic and intellectual.
And I've had an experience inmore recent years where when I
listen to my deeper yearnings,it feels like casting a vision
into the stars.
It feels celestial.
It feels intuitive, spiritual,heartfelt.
(22:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (23:19):
And you tied in the celestial thing.
SPEAKER_04 (23:49):
Mm-hmm.
(24:19):
Rumi has this one quote that Ihave to take a moment to read.
He said, And that's like thecrux of what so many of us on
this path are realizing we arelove.
We are a soul in a human bodyhaving a messy existence that's
(24:42):
called life.
And our North Star, like ourcompass, is our beating heart
and our spirit.
And we've been conditioned in somany ways from family of origin,
larger society, misogyny,racism, xenophobia, late-stage
capitalism, colonialism, whitesupremacy.
It's like all these forces arein our larger operating systems
that we internalize to seeksafety and to belong, like when
(25:05):
you were talking about thebelonging.
And, you know, many have to stayin survival mode.
They can't escape those things.
But for those of us who are ableto do so...
it's really the greatest journeywe can undertake is to mindfully
shed some of those things andrealize that belonging, Anne
Lamott talks about how it's aninside job.
Like we've spent so much of ourlives exporting everything, our
(25:27):
sense of self, our confidence,our validation.
And then we begin this journeyof reclaiming and understanding
that comes from within.
No one can make us feelsomething.
No one can give us power or giveus true confidence or alignment
or authenticity that thesethings are, within us.
SPEAKER_03 (25:44):
Yeah.
Oh gosh.
Belonging is one of my favoritetopics to talk about.
There was a moment wherebelonging landed in my body and
it was in like a sacred circleof women on retreat.
And it is so fascinating that wethink it comes from other
people.
Yeah.
And I was like sobbing sobbingI'm like I think this is what
(26:09):
belonging feels like
SPEAKER_02 (26:11):
I
SPEAKER_03 (26:11):
think I found it but it was that like I can let
myself be seen so not like Imean although we could have been
naked but like I felt like I wasjust like naked in myself in
like I don't have any walls thatI'm trying to put up or pretend
like there's nobody I'm tryingto be in this room it does take
other people I think at least inmy experience, that reflection,
(26:33):
that mirroring to be held in away where you're like, oh, I
just get to be me here.
That's the game that we'replaying is like maybe more of
me.
And then I met with more love.
And of course, it's not like youhave these one moments and
you're like done with thatthing.
You know, it's still a work inprogress.
But now I find that spaces orpeople that I would normally
(26:54):
have had social, I had a lot ofsocial anxiety for most of my
life.
And I would have definitely hadlike this, you know, this like
shitty bitch in my head that waslike telling me all these
reasons what don't say that ordon't walk up to them or you
don't belong here.
That voice has calmed down somuch.
And I find that I can like justbe with people in a totally
different way because I foundthat belonging inside of me.
(27:16):
And yeah, and that is why Ibelieve so wholeheartedly in
holding space and in communitybecause we lose our belonging in
relationship.
All of these things happen, likeyou mentioned, all of the
structures and systems and theplaces in which we lose our true
(27:37):
north.
And so they can only really berestored.
You can do a lot of work alone,but ultimately the restoration
of these pieces happens incommunity.
It happens in relationship.
It happens being held in a safecontainer.
It happens being mirrored backto you Yeah.
(28:17):
Because I know you're talkingabout KPIs and all those things.
It's not about just likeshedding them all, because I
think they're really importantparts of business.
You know, they are things thathave really transformed how we
run the Nova.
But it's bridging that gap ofwhere do we rely on strategy?
Where do we rely on soul?
And it's not like they runparallel to one another.
But how can we really createthat next iteration of our work,
(28:41):
of our lives?
Thank you so much.
So I would love for you to sharewhat are some of the results
(29:02):
that you hope people have insideof the containers that you hold?
So
SPEAKER_04 (29:07):
for this experience, it will be a mix of you were
talking about strategy and soul.
So we will have a facilitated,interactive experience.
portion of each 90-minutesession that you can think of as
self-discovery, personaldevelopment meets leadership
development.
And then another portion ofthese sessions will be space
(29:30):
held for group coaching, whichis the essence of group coaching
is open-ended questions, activelistening, validation, support,
compassion, to help each personsurface their deeper truths, to
feel safe, as you said, insharing the vulnerable aspects
of who we are.
There's a quote around shamedies when we share our truths in
(29:50):
safe spaces, and it's so true.
It's so true.
This is a part of the humanexperience, the shame gremlins
that we hold often secret.
So there's often a secretiveaspect of shame.
So we keep secrets, familysecrets, whatever the secrets
might be, and it erodes ourwell-being.
And when we speak our truths ina safe space, it's like the
light is cast on it.
(30:11):
And we see so clearly that it'snot ours to carry anymore.
There's nothing shameful aboutit.
It's being human.
Human experience is reallytough.
And that not alonenessexperience is so powerful as
well.
There's a sense in the coachingrole that I think sometimes it
can be misused a little bit, butlike everything you need is
within you.
The crux of that is that youhave such powerful intuition and
(30:35):
gifts and strengths and wisdom.
And in these spaces, we canreally amplify those.
You were touching upon thisphenomenon where we tend to more
easily hold compassion forsomeone else than our own self
for various reasons.
And so when someone speaks theirtruth, you see the way the group
(30:55):
responds.
You might feel like, oh, Iexperienced that and I didn't
even think about it or I didn'trealize it's a big deal.
Or you're able to holdcompassion for someone else.
And it's so healing to yourselfthat you're feeling compassion
for yourself.
I like to think of groups as apatchwork quilt that each person
carries their own unique colorsand textures and experiences and
wisdom.
(31:15):
And when the group comestogether, it forms that quilt
and the threads that hold thepatches together are trust and
safety and a lot of the integralpieces that come together when
you're in a safe space as agroup.
There's a quote that I wanted toshare.
SPEAKER_03 (31:32):
You may be like, well, I love quotes so much.
I have so many quotes.
Let's call a quote deck.
We'll make you a deck of all ofyour favorite quotes.
I do like to start sessions with
SPEAKER_04 (31:40):
poetry as well.
Right.
Okay, so Janelle Blanc.
You know who you are.
Janelle Blanc said, a circle ofwomen may just be the most
powerful force known tohumanity.
If you have one, embrace it.
If you need one, seek it.
If you find one for the lovethat is all that is good and
holy, dive in.
(32:01):
And that is is the spirit withthis type of thing.
And I'll acknowledge there's alevel of courage and
vulnerability in doing groupwork.
Like I actually, just to make aconfession here, I hadn't done
group work before I startedleading circles.
Oh, and I knew intuitively howpowerful it is because I was
(32:25):
like, oh my gosh, I feel scary.
Like, I mean, I knew about it inthe context of therapy and I was
like, one-on-one therapy is likedeep enough.
I can't imagine being in a groupof people and like sharing.
So there is that element ofvulnerability and courage.
That's really so much of thepower of this.
Trusting your inner voice thatsomething's calling you to this
experience that you know there'ssomething on the other side that
will really amplify where youyearn to go.
(32:48):
And there's also typically likereally cool synchronicity across
groups.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (32:54):
It's one of my favorite things that you're
like, I couldn't because Ireally believe that like I don't
know, whatever it is.
And that's the energy or thatour souls are like, I'm going to
find that person that you get inthe room.
And every time I facilitated agroup or been in one, you're
just like, you can't make thisshit up.
Like, yeah, how are we in thesame room of all the people on
this planet?
Like we landed in the same roomand and not even just like One
(33:16):
to one, it's like that wholegroup dynamic of I like to say
it's like the medicine we needtends to find itself into the
same room, whether it's virtualor in person.
And it's mind below it becauseevery time it happens, like I've
not had a time where it hasn'thappened.
And I probably shouldn't be sobold, but like I'm going to
that.
I just think when your intentionis to gather in this way, it's
(33:39):
like the universe is like, OK,let me help you orchestrate a
few things that you might havedone on your own.
SPEAKER_04 (33:44):
Yeah.
I mean, it's incredible.
Like things like a form ofexperience in youth or sibling
dynamic.
It's really, it's uncanny.
You can't make it up, as yousaid, but it just feels like
it's the medicine.
I love that, that you're allmeant to be there in that
moment.
And I also like to think of itas every person in the group is
a gift waiting to be unwrapped,that you come into this room,
you start as strangers, and youform often lifelong bonds.
(34:06):
I have groups that are in yearfive.
We've been through deaths andbirths and promotions and
demotions, and life is intensethese days.
It's just...
Such a sacred experience to havea trusted circle like what the
Orbit
SPEAKER_03 (34:18):
is bringing your community.
Yeah, it's everything.
I wholeheartedly disagree witheverything you need is inside of
you.
I couldn't disagree anymore.
Because I do.
I mean, obviously, I'm buildingcommunity for a living.
But if that were true, then whywouldn't we be okay if we were
just like roaming aroundisolated all by ourselves
without relationships?
You know, it's just likecommunity.
(34:39):
It's like, yes, and no.
I believe that community is thesecond half of that statement,
right?
SPEAKER_04 (35:03):
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (35:26):
Yeah, you were saying both.
I think you were speaking to theyes and of like, this is the
part of it that is true insideof us.
And then we can be met in theseother ways that like really, I
forget the word you use, butenhance it, bring it out.
It amplifies the word that youuse.
So I think in the world, likewe've talked about this in the
(35:46):
world, generally speaking, and Itend to let's say I'm a little
bit biased in this because I'min a world where everyone is
like into personal growth, notnecessarily in all my friend
groups.
But in my professionalcommunity, everyone's obsessed
with growth work.
So they're really familiar withthe idea of what we're creating,
right?
Of a mastermind model.
And I know you coach inside ofother organizations that are
(36:09):
more towards executive women.
And perhaps they're not asfamiliar with the whole personal
growth world, or maybe it'stheir first exposure to
something like that.
So let's speak to the personthat's feeling a pull from
That's like sitting on the edgeof something, whether they've
done 10,000 hours of growth workor I don't feel like most people
(36:32):
that are drawn to the Nova havedone quite a bit.
You know, it's not like we'relike, you can't come here if you
haven't, like to be very clear.
But it just tends to draw thatwhere they're like, oh, finally,
like you're speaking about thesoul.
You're speaking aboutspirituality.
They're just looking for that.
So it's sort of like anaccidental natural filter for
that.
But if the woman that is kind ofon the edge of taking some sort
(36:55):
of leap, whether it's intosomething new, a next iteration
of something.
They're really in that spacethat you spoke to of, I know
that I want to be held in whatis coming through me, but it
scares me.
What do you say to her?
What do you say to them?
How can I trust that innerknowing that I have right now?
(37:17):
Yeah.
First of all, there will always
SPEAKER_04 (37:20):
be fear if we're making a leap.
Yeah.
So it's not about waiting forthe absence of fear.
Also, typically we won't reach100% slam dunk certainty with
any big leaps because we'reentering the unknown.
And our system is primed forsurvival.
And that means minimizing risk,staying the same.
(37:40):
Like I often say we'd soonerstay in a familiar hell than
leap into an unknown paradise.
Like paradise is waving at us,come join us.
And we're like, no, I'm justgoing to stick with what I know.
So they'll Mm-hmm.
(38:09):
those fear mechanisms thinkwe're still a little girl and
they're trying to keep us safe.
But we're women now, we'reevolved, we're able to handle a
lot more than when we were kids.
So understanding what fear islike a legacy system and
releasing that fear and thenunderstanding if there is any
clear fear that's like, A tigerchasing us or like a true reason
to be a breed.
(38:30):
A lot of times with beer, it'slike the boogeyman.
You can be gripped with allthese thoughts and feel it and
be terrified and you turn on alight and nothing's there.
So I'd say getting clear withfear is a big one.
Recognizing this trust fallelement in big leaps.
I don't know if anyone likesdoing a trust fall.
I mean, it's superuncomfortable.
You're just like, I'm falling.
Like, what's happening?
(38:50):
Where am I going to go?
I feel like I've been in a trustfall for like...
Four straight years.
The trustful piece of like beingable to sit with the discomfort.
And we've talked about it beingembodied, like checking in with
our body.
How does this feel in our bodywhen we vision out what this
change is going to be?
Maybe there's fear and stuff,but like ultimately, does it
give us a sense of expansivenessand lightness and energy
(39:13):
excitement?
Or is it like suffocating andquelching and like just
minimizing and suffering?
Like we end up over time when wehave a relationship with our
body, understanding when I Adecision is for our greater
good, our higher self, versussomething out of the shoulds or
the stuckness or the socialprogramming.
It can feel different with us.
Checking in with our heart.
(39:34):
I've trained in internal familysystems, which I know you're
familiar with.
We can think of it as parts workand really honoring the full
spectrum of our emotions.
And one of the things I likeabout IFS too, and it's kind of
like the movie Inside Out, isvisualizing our inner peeps.
Like in any big decision.
Okay, so like, for example, mymove to France, like there was a
part of me that was like, I loveLA.
I love this life.
(39:54):
I've curated in LA.
I love my community.
Like I don't want to leave.
And then there was this part ofme that was like, we're meant to
move abroad.
This has been a lifelongyearning.
Another sign of a decisionthat's worth pursuing is if it's
something that you can't let goof.
that through years you have thisthought of imagining if I could
or what if I could or how wouldthis look.
(40:14):
So getting clear on that aswell.
And when we honor the fullspectrum of our parts, our
emotions, it's really importantbecause if we're ignoring or
minimizing or abandoning partsof ourselves, it just makes them
become more entrenched and canlead to like anxiety and
depression.
When we see full eyes wide openwith open heart who we are, it
(40:34):
often diminishes a lot of thoseemotional gremlins and we're
able to really embrace this pathit's important to be tactical
practical of course like ifwe're making a huge leap in life
have a plan B you probably won'tneed it you can ask yourself
what do I need to feel safe whatdo I need to feel supported um
Recognizing baby steps arereally important.
(40:55):
When we are entering theunknown, what we think of as a
liminal space, a threshold, MLK,junior, you don't need to see
the whole staircase.
Just take the first step.
Like actually what I've come tolearn over my many metamorphoses
is the first step sets in motionthe change.
So you can't see the whole thingup front.
(41:18):
You have to step into it, whichagain is terrifying.
And there's one more quote I'mgoing to leave you with on this
question, which is Aaron Hansensaid, there is freedom waiting
for you on the breezes of thesky.
And you ask, what if I fall?
Oh, but my darling, what
SPEAKER_03 (41:36):
if you fly?
Perfect ending.
Thank you so much.
It is so true.
And all of that gets to bepossible inside of it, right?
You just have to get yourself tosay yes, and then let yourself
be held.
Let us help you be brave.
Like that's what my community,my sacred circles have done.
They just let me be brave overand over.
And I need bravery every singleday, every single day, because
(41:59):
I'm stretching myself so big forwhat I'm creating in this world
and how I want to create it.
And it's like, let us help yoube brave.
So thank you for being here.
I'm so grateful to get to shareyour magic with our community
and can't wait to see whatunfolds in the group that comes
together this summer.
So have a beautiful day.
Thank
SPEAKER_04 (42:19):
you
SPEAKER_03 (42:19):
so much, you two.
It's
SPEAKER_04 (42:21):
been such a pleasure connecting with you today and
can't wait for this nextchapter.
Hmm.
SPEAKER_02 (00:02):
To even question what you've been told is true is
incredibly courageous.
It doesn't always feel likecourage what looks like courage
to other people.
For me, it feels like survival.
This is our personal medicine.
SPEAKER_00 (00:15):
If I'm surrounded by thinkers, by lovers, by passion,
by integrity, then I really dothink that I know who I am.
SPEAKER_05 (00:21):
There is a peace that is indescribable when
you're being who you are andyou're living your purpose.
I'm not going to come to the endof my life and be like, I didn't
live the life I was meant tolive.
SPEAKER_01 (00:30):
Can I be so comfortable in the idea and so
comfortable in that uncertaintythat every version of it is
going to be okay.
SPEAKER_03 (00:38):
This is the Inner Rebel Podcast.
Hey there, Rebels.
This is Melissa Bachmeit, one ofyour hosts of Inner Rebel.
And today we have a littlesomething different for you.
It's a bonus episode that I justhad to share.
(00:59):
As most of you know, I'm thefounder of a company called The
Nova.
It's a community for soul-ledwomen and non-binary individuals
who are done performing andready to rise in full alignment
with who they are.
And recently I had aconversation with one of our
trusted advisors, Jenna Chieko,who's also stepping in as the
first facilitator of The Orbit,which is our newest high-level
(01:21):
offering inside of The Nova.
And this conversation was sopowerful.
It was rooted in truth,leadership, and a path of an
inner rebel that I just knew Iwanted to bring it here.
Because while we're talkingabout business and leadership,
what we're really talking aboutis the journey of coming home to
yourself, trusting your voice,and creating from a place that's
fully aligned.
(01:41):
Before we drop into thisepisode, here's a bit of
context.
The Orbit is a year-longexperience for women, who are
ready to stop circling aroundthe thing they know they're
meant to build and finally bringit to life.
Whether it's the next iterationof your business, a new
business, a movement, a creativevision, or a new way of leading,
the orb is designed to hold youthrough it all in a cohort of 10
(02:05):
other people and a facilitatorwho's been doing this for
decades with strategy, soul, andcommunity.
So if you're someone who's beenfeeling the nudge to expand but
wants to do it withoutabandoning your body your values
or your truth, this one's foryou.
Let's dive in.
Okay.
Hello, hello.
I'm so excited to get to havethis conversation with you
(02:27):
today.
Jenna is living what I wouldconsider a dream life.
Recently moved to France from LAand I have this dream of living
in France.
One day I took French as a younggirl and so anytime around the
French language I'm like so muchso I love that we're having a
conversation today just aboutwho you are because we want to
(02:50):
get our community to know whoyou are I felt like well gosh
everyone already knows Jennashe's been around for a year
with the Nova but you werebehind the scenes with the Nova
so I'm really excited to haveyou share your life, your story.
This sounds corny, but like whatyour hopes and dreams are for
what we're creating with TheOrbit, because this is a really
(03:11):
special thing that we'veco-created.
So thank you for taking the timeto share about who you are.
Thank you.
It's such an honor and joy to behere with you and to
SPEAKER_04 (03:20):
delve into this further.
SPEAKER_03 (03:22):
Yeah.
So I'm going to take you back.
Back in the day, you had what alot of people would consider a
dream career.
You worked in the White House,general counsel.
You had a lot of high levelroles.
You were an attorney and youleft that behind.
And so I would love for you toshare.
And people always ask about amoment.
I found that maybe you have likea specific moment.
(03:45):
I found that mine was such asequence of moments.
And I'm like, how do you pickone?
It's more like a drawn out thingthat happens over time.
But I would love for you toshare what that was like for you
to have this fancy career youworked so hard for and start to
feel like something was shiftinginside of you.
SPEAKER_02 (04:03):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_04 (04:03):
it is more of a series of learnings than one
moment, although, of course, Ican place a few key moments.
But thanks for this opportunityto share a little bit more in
case it resonates for those whoare listening.
So public service is a themethat's been woven throughout my
life.
And yes, serving both terms ofthe Obama administration felt
like I hit the jackpot.
It was deeply fulfilling.
(04:24):
I worked on immigration reformefforts at the Department of
Homeland Security.
I worked on energy environmentalissues at the White House.
I was surrounded by brilliant,talented peers.
And in many ways, I felt like Ihad reached this dream of what I
never even potentially couldhave imagined when I first
started my journey in lawschool.
Yet in quiet moments, when I wasbeing honest with myself, I
(04:46):
couldn't shake this feeling thatsomething was missing and that I
was yearning for something more.
I didn't have the words for it.
And so, of course, Iinternalized it and I figured
something's wrong with me.
Maybe I'm depressed.
Who am I to complain?
And I kind of just chugged alongwith my legal career.
And then a lot of things startedto come crashing Thank you so
(05:06):
much.
(05:32):
Unemployed, Miserable, LonelyAnd it was terrific.
It fulfilled a lot of things Ihad been curious about having
spent most of my career ingovernment.
Now it was a chance for me to bein a fast-paced private sector
(05:55):
experience with a mission that Iwas aligned around.
However, I did get burned out.
I thought I was immune toburnout.
I don't think I reallyunderstood what burnout was, but
I'd worked crazy hours in mycareer.
SPEAKER_03 (06:05):
I really relate to you in this particular
SPEAKER_04 (06:07):
thing.
So I was like, burnout until ithappened.
I'm invincible.
I'm invincible.
Oh, yeah.
And then I was like, why do Ihave a sleep disorder?
And like, why are these thingshappening to me?
I learned that.
through now immersing myself inthis topic, but it's not just
long hours.
There's typically other thingsthat contribute to burnout.
And for me, ultimately, I feltlike I couldn't stand in my
integrity and stay in theworkplace there.
(06:29):
There were some things going on.
That's about all I can say aboutit.
But that was one of thesepivotal moments.
It was kind of like MidlifeAwakening Part 2.
Like Midlife Awakening Part 1was all the stuff that happened
in DC that got me to California.
And then Midlife Awakening Part2 was quitting this job.
I had never quit anything in mylife.
I had just been through so much.
The year prior, I thought I wasgoing to be there indefinitely.
(06:52):
We were in a B-raise.
There was a lot of excitingpossibilities, but I just knew
my truth that I needed to leave.
And so I honored a yearning totake a travel sabbatical.
And if I had been braver, Iwould have taken that travel
sabbatical right when I leftgovernment in 2017.
But I felt I was kind of wrappedwith fears around who's going to
hire me and minimizing myabilities and resume and all the
(07:13):
things.
So now is my chance.
Once again, the stars align andI was like, I'm doing this.
So I booked a one-way ticket toParis and it was absolutely
life-changing to be on thatsabbatical.
One of the biggest things I hadto work through was giving
myself permission.
Like, I had never just spentmoney.
I never not had an income comein.
It just was hard.
(07:34):
But I'm so glad I honored thatbecause it really led me to
dramatically change my life.
And that was the bridge toleaving the law, was letting go
of the startup role, taking mysabbatical, and just having this
metamorphosis through the
SPEAKER_03 (07:49):
experience.
Yeah.
I really love that you mentionedthat You said, if I had been
braver, I would have done it atthis moment.
But I think that because I workwith a lot of women and a lot of
women in the Nova are at thispivotal point where they're like
having the feelings that youmentioned that maybe there
aren't words for it.
I mean, I started having themback in 2017 to 2019.
(08:11):
I left my career in 2019.
And there could be a lot ofshoulds like it could feel like,
oh, I failed because I didn't doit sooner or because I went back
to a job.
There can be some shame aroundthe process that to really
separate from a whole identity.
(08:54):
This thing that we call ouridentity as far as our careers
go, because that's not who weare, but we're so ingrained to
be like, oh, my work is who Iam, especially when you work so
hard to have a specific careertrajectory.
It feels like it's all of you,right?
Yes.
So thank you for speaking tothat of like, gosh, I didn't do
the bravest thing, but sometimesit's all your system can handle
in that moment.
(09:14):
Moving across the country andhaving your whole life implode
is enough, you know, and thenyou like settle your system a
little bit and then you can makea braver choice.
So let's talk a little bit aboutthat time in your sabbatical
because I'm curious and we couldprobably spend our entire time
together talking about what youlearned because it changed your
whole entire life.
(09:35):
It's kind of set the foundationfor who you are today.
So can you share a little bitabout what you learned about
yourself and what leadershipreally means when you took that
time to buy a one-way ticket andfigure out your next move?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (09:50):
Yeah, and thank you for this question.
It's such a fascinating timingright now because, as you had
mentioned, I just moved toFrance in April.
Mm-hmm.
And that trip started with aone-way ticket to Paris as well.
I'm currently in the countrysidenow outside of Bordeaux and I'm
revisiting places since I'vemoved here that I haven't been
to since my 2018 sabbatical.
(10:10):
So it's such a powerfulrevisiting of who I was in 2018
on my sabbatical and who I amnow and how much has happened in
these seven years or less thanseven years.
It's pretty wild.
So there was so much that Ilearned on my sabbatical and
yes, we could spend the wholetime talking about it.
But I often reflect on the factthat I feel very privileged and
fortunate.
I've literally traveled aroundthe world.
(10:31):
I've traveled extensively.
And the greatest adventure ofthis lifetime has been my
homecoming to my true self.
And my sabbatical was such agateway to that.
As I mentioned, I was prettyburnt out.
I was struggling with a lot ofthings.
I was lost.
I was full of fear and doubt.
And there was kind of thisexquisite contrast between those
fear gremlins and then my innerknowing of this is where I'm
(10:55):
meant to be.
This is what I'm meant to do.
Like it was written in me allThere was a real sense of
empowerment in that.
But one of the biggest lessonswas there's a quote that
captures this.
Alexander Dan Hager said, youoften feel tired not because
you've done too much, butbecause you've done too little
of what sparks a light in you.
And that was the story of mylife at that point.
(11:15):
I had been chasing these thingsthat I thought would bring me
fulfillment and notunderstanding there were a lot
of coping mechanisms andsurvival strategies woven into
them.
I was pretty much a walkingcluster of coping mechanisms.
Like workaholism, perfectionism,people pleasing.
And I kept rising up the ranks.
And it was really when I got tothat role of general counsel and
(11:35):
also, yes, working at the WhiteHouse, it's like, okay, I'm
experiencing all these things.
And yet I still feel likesomething's missing.
And that was my invitation toreally dramatically change
things.
And it wasn't even necessarilyintentional.
Like when I look back on it, Ithink sometimes our soul knows
our way and these things surfacewithout us intellectualizing.
It just surfaces.
And if we're so fortunate tomeet these things, we do.
(11:58):
And so every waking moment on myspectacle was around what sparks
joy, what feeds my spirit, likea blank canvas of how do I want
to paint this picture of who Iam.
And I didn't know it washappening at the time, but I
really restored the essence ofwho I am, mind, body, heart, and
soul.
And I had never really thoughtabout those four pillars of who
we are before.
(12:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(12:48):
Trusting the unfolding and thismessy thing called life, which
is not linear at all.
And I did not quite understandthat at the time.
Deprogramming from theproductivity myth, learning to
set healthy boundaries andhonoring my needs, that whole
zero Fs.
Spirit really took hold when Iwas on my side.
Gave you no choice.
(13:08):
Another really big learning wasaround deeper purpose.
So I had taken my former type Aattitude of like hustle, grind,
get shit done.
Like I'm going to figure out mypurpose.
I worked with a career coach.
I took assessments.
It was like, what is my purpose?
And Also unexpectedly through mysabbatical, it was like my
purpose surfaced, like a seedsprouting through earth because
I was restoring who I am, theessence of who I am.
(13:30):
And I think on like a deeperpsyche level, I allowed myself
to feel safe in surfacing likethe most sacred parts of who I
am, which is my deeper purpose.
And I enrolled in a coachtraining program at that time.
I never thought I'd be a coach.
I didn't even know what coachingwas, but I did it through Martha
Beck, who I found veryinspiring.
And her teachings are reallyfocused on shedding the social
self and embracing our often Sothat was a lot of what my
(13:57):
sabbatical led to.
SPEAKER_03 (14:17):
Well, so often, and I don't say this to offend
anybody, but there's adifference between
intellectually learningsomething and then bodying a
learning.
And anyone that I have hired,I'm like, what should have you
lived through?
Tell me your story.
So I'm glad you have thetraining, but have you walked
it?
Have you...
(14:38):
Brought yourself, not that youhave to always bring yourself
back from ashes.
I mean, I've done it in ways,but I didn't have like my whole
life blew up and well, you know,and I know that so many people's
stories.
I don't have that.
But I think that being able towalk your talk is so important
because so much of holding thatspace comes from that deep
(14:59):
connection.
Like cellular knowing of like,yeah, no, I know what it feels
like in my story to be in thisgreat unknown, to have this
feeling, to be so ambitious, tohave accomplished so much and
feel like it's not it.
But this is terrifying.
It works so hard for this thing.
And a lot of people never leave.
I think we're really fortunatein this time that we have a lot
(15:21):
of access to information and wehave permission via other people
seeing that other people havedone it.
And I don't necessarily thinkeveryone needs to leave their
career either.
And I believe you think thattoo.
It's more of, are you showing upin a way that allows you to be
you no matter what you're doing?
(15:42):
Because I don't necessarilybelieve anymore that our purpose
is our work.
I believe that our purpose isbeing ourselves and whatever
work emerges from the the giftof getting to be ourselves.
It's sort of a convergence.
I don't feel like I havedifferent selves anymore.
I'm not like, oh, I'm thisperson over here.
And then I switch over here andI'm this person.
(16:03):
And, you know, so you're nottrying to shapeshift your whole
life and you just become I'mJenna and I show up as Jenna,
whether I'm with my friends orI'm at work or I'm on a coaching
call or I'm doing thisinterview.
It's like you just get to be whoyou are.
And that in of itself is, Ithink, the greatest gift we
could ever give ourselves.
Yes, 100%.
(16:24):
Hands down.
So kudos to you.
And I know it takes so much morethan what you're able to say
even today of what it takes togo there, I say in air quotes,
because meeting yourself inthose places, it takes a level
of courage and vulnerabilitythat's really hard to put into
words.
SPEAKER_04 (16:42):
Yeah, thank you for all that.
I really, everything you sharedresonates for me.
And it's funny, people havecommented, oh my gosh, you
totally live like an Eat, Pray,Love chapter.
And I joke that it was more Eat,Pray, Self-Love because I came
into true self-love through thatchapter, not necessarily having
the words or understanding ofwhat was going on, but to really
embrace the full spectrum of whowe are.
(17:03):
The shadows, the light, thegifts, the vulnerabilities to
meet ourselves with the samefull hearted compassion that we
meet others in our lives is thegateway towards this.
And it is something of aprivilege to take a sabbatical.
I had pretty modest savings frommy career in federal service and
I wasn't the most financiallysavvy, let's just say.
But I took that risk and it paidoff dividends for me.
SPEAKER_03 (17:26):
Yeah.
I have to like chew on my tongueto not dive into all of these
other side topics that I'm like,oh, I want to dive into the
money side of things.
But we don't have all day totalk to each other.
Maybe there'll be a part two.
So one of the things that we gotfeedback on as we started to
talk about the orbit, and we'regoing to dive into that now, is
that your resume was soimpressive that it was
(17:47):
intimidating.
Yeah.
And I'm like, oh gosh, we got totell her whole story because I
think it speaks to how wecategorize people.
And there's this measuring upthat we do as women of, am I
good enough?
Have I accomplished enough?
Do I belong in that room?
And this is one of the mostimportant things that I want to
(18:07):
do with our work at the Nova andwith the Orbit is sort of
dismantling this belonging.
Like you get to be in the roomand getting myself in these
rooms that I thought I had nobusiness being in, to be clear.
And really over the last severalyears is what allowed me to
start to see everyone as a humanbeing and really see that, yes,
(18:31):
you've done incredible Yeah.
(19:00):
I will call them, I don't knowwhose term is expanders, but
expanders or vision holders orpeople that really stretch you
into your becoming your nextlevel.
And I think, again, if we canget our authentic voice and our
sense of belonging, like we'repretty much nailing life right
there.
No big deal.
No big deal.
(19:20):
Just a few things on the menu.
Just some dark nights in thesoul to heal.
I know.
Speaking of dark nights andpeople are like, what kind of
people are in Nova?
And I'm like, generallyspeaking, they've been through
some sort of dark night of thesoul.
Like we set out to attract that,but it's sort of what happened
because it's kind of a byproductof going through some shit in
life and being like, hmm, how doI want to choose to live?
(19:43):
And what's the reality that Iwant to consciously create?
Having said all of that, when westarted to vision, what could
our next level be?
don't even like to refer to itlike that, but a more
concentrated cohort ofindividuals who want more
accountability, who want toreally have focused attention on
(20:04):
something, whether that'sbuilding the business, whether
that's exiting the career,whether that's like deepening
into a transformation in theirleadership style.
I really wanted somebody likeyou who and everyone that will
ever facilitate inside of theorbit.
So our vision is to have thecohorts, which we're calling
Stellars.
There'll be groups of call it 10ish individuals that are part of
(20:26):
the greater Nova ecosystem.
So you'll have access to all ofthe people and all of the
programming.
If you choose, you're not juston an isolated island.
We really want you to be part ofthe whole But that every person
who facilitates and we have afaculty of coaches has walked
(20:51):
the talk, walked the walk.
That was a very windy road toget to my question, but...
Welcome
SPEAKER_04 (20:58):
to
SPEAKER_03 (21:05):
the meeting.
and the heart behind it.
What drew you to want to say yesto being a part of this and
being a facilitator in our firstcohort?
SPEAKER_04 (21:25):
Yeah, that's such a great question.
Again, I'm so honored to be apart of this.
And from our first conversation,I knew we were aligned.
And these kinds of conversationsare just sparking so many ideas
and vision.
So it's really such an honor.
The fact that the NOVA isdedicated to integrated,
embodied, conscious leadershipand inclusivity, diversity are
(21:47):
really big factors for me of thedraw and why I'm so excited
about this.
Having served as a proud memberof your advisory board these
months, it's been such a giftand joy to witness your
leadership and the vision thatyou and your team are bringing
to the orbit as well to thebroader community.
And the alignment on missionvisions values is something that
(22:12):
is really integral as well.
Holding space for women andnon-binary members is really a
sacred experience for me.
The first time I started leadingcircles, I had this feeling like
my entire life led to thismoment.
And if I can take a moment toexplain that further.
I used to vision out goals fromthat intellectual space, like
(22:34):
KPIs or OKRs, and I'd jot smartgoals.
Like it was very methodical andlogistic and intellectual.
And I've had an experience inmore recent years where when I
listen to my deeper yearnings,it feels like casting a vision
into the stars.
It feels celestial.
It feels intuitive, spiritual,heartfelt.
(22:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (23:19):
And you tied in the celestial thing.
SPEAKER_04 (23:49):
Mm-hmm.
(24:19):
Rumi has this one quote that Ihave to take a moment to read.
He said, And that's like thecrux of what so many of us on
this path are realizing we arelove.
We are a soul in a human bodyhaving a messy existence that's
(24:42):
called life.
And our North Star, like ourcompass, is our beating heart
and our spirit.
And we've been conditioned in somany ways from family of origin,
larger society, misogyny,racism, xenophobia, late-stage
capitalism, colonialism, whitesupremacy.
It's like all these forces arein our larger operating systems
that we internalize to seeksafety and to belong, like when
(25:05):
you were talking about thebelonging.
And, you know, many have to stayin survival mode.
They can't escape those things.
But for those of us who are ableto do so...
it's really the greatest journeywe can undertake is to mindfully
shed some of those things andrealize that belonging, Anne
Lamott talks about how it's aninside job.
Like we've spent so much of ourlives exporting everything, our
(25:27):
sense of self, our confidence,our validation.
And then we begin this journeyof reclaiming and understanding
that comes from within.
No one can make us feelsomething.
No one can give us power or giveus true confidence or alignment
or authenticity that thesethings are, within us.
SPEAKER_03 (25:44):
Yeah.
Oh gosh.
Belonging is one of my favoritetopics to talk about.
There was a moment wherebelonging landed in my body and
it was in like a sacred circleof women on retreat.
And it is so fascinating that wethink it comes from other
people.
Yeah.
And I was like sobbing sobbingI'm like I think this is what
(26:09):
belonging feels like
SPEAKER_02 (26:11):
I
SPEAKER_03 (26:11):
think I found it but it was that like I can let
myself be seen so not like Imean although we could have been
naked but like I felt like I wasjust like naked in myself in
like I don't have any walls thatI'm trying to put up or pretend
like there's nobody I'm tryingto be in this room it does take
other people I think at least inmy experience, that reflection,
(26:33):
that mirroring to be held in away where you're like, oh, I
just get to be me here.
That's the game that we'replaying is like maybe more of
me.
And then I met with more love.
And of course, it's not like youhave these one moments and
you're like done with thatthing.
You know, it's still a work inprogress.
But now I find that spaces orpeople that I would normally
(26:54):
have had social, I had a lot ofsocial anxiety for most of my
life.
And I would have definitely hadlike this, you know, this like
shitty bitch in my head that waslike telling me all these
reasons what don't say that ordon't walk up to them or you
don't belong here.
That voice has calmed down somuch.
And I find that I can like justbe with people in a totally
different way because I foundthat belonging inside of me.
(27:16):
And yeah, and that is why Ibelieve so wholeheartedly in
holding space and in communitybecause we lose our belonging in
relationship.
All of these things happen, likeyou mentioned, all of the
structures and systems and theplaces in which we lose our true
(27:37):
north.
And so they can only really berestored.
You can do a lot of work alone,but ultimately the restoration
of these pieces happens incommunity.
It happens in relationship.
It happens being held in a safecontainer.
It happens being mirrored backto you Yeah.
(28:17):
Because I know you're talkingabout KPIs and all those things.
It's not about just likeshedding them all, because I
think they're really importantparts of business.
You know, they are things thathave really transformed how we
run the Nova.
But it's bridging that gap ofwhere do we rely on strategy?
Where do we rely on soul?
And it's not like they runparallel to one another.
But how can we really createthat next iteration of our work,
(28:41):
of our lives?
Thank you so much.
So I would love for you to sharewhat are some of the results
(29:02):
that you hope people have insideof the containers that you hold?
So
SPEAKER_04 (29:07):
for this experience, it will be a mix of you were
talking about strategy and soul.
So we will have a facilitated,interactive experience.
portion of each 90-minutesession that you can think of as
self-discovery, personaldevelopment meets leadership
development.
And then another portion ofthese sessions will be space
(29:30):
held for group coaching, whichis the essence of group coaching
is open-ended questions, activelistening, validation, support,
compassion, to help each personsurface their deeper truths, to
feel safe, as you said, insharing the vulnerable aspects
of who we are.
There's a quote around shamedies when we share our truths in
(29:50):
safe spaces, and it's so true.
It's so true.
This is a part of the humanexperience, the shame gremlins
that we hold often secret.
So there's often a secretiveaspect of shame.
So we keep secrets, familysecrets, whatever the secrets
might be, and it erodes ourwell-being.
And when we speak our truths ina safe space, it's like the
light is cast on it.
(30:11):
And we see so clearly that it'snot ours to carry anymore.
There's nothing shameful aboutit.
It's being human.
Human experience is reallytough.
And that not alonenessexperience is so powerful as
well.
There's a sense in the coachingrole that I think sometimes it
can be misused a little bit, butlike everything you need is
within you.
The crux of that is that youhave such powerful intuition and
(30:35):
gifts and strengths and wisdom.
And in these spaces, we canreally amplify those.
You were touching upon thisphenomenon where we tend to more
easily hold compassion forsomeone else than our own self
for various reasons.
And so when someone speaks theirtruth, you see the way the group
(30:55):
responds.
You might feel like, oh, Iexperienced that and I didn't
even think about it or I didn'trealize it's a big deal.
Or you're able to holdcompassion for someone else.
And it's so healing to yourselfthat you're feeling compassion
for yourself.
I like to think of groups as apatchwork quilt that each person
carries their own unique colorsand textures and experiences and
wisdom.
(31:15):
And when the group comestogether, it forms that quilt
and the threads that hold thepatches together are trust and
safety and a lot of the integralpieces that come together when
you're in a safe space as agroup.
There's a quote that I wanted toshare.
SPEAKER_03 (31:32):
You may be like, well, I love quotes so much.
I have so many quotes.
Let's call a quote deck.
We'll make you a deck of all ofyour favorite quotes.
I do like to start sessions with
SPEAKER_04 (31:40):
poetry as well.
Right.
Okay, so Janelle Blanc.
You know who you are.
Janelle Blanc said, a circle ofwomen may just be the most
powerful force known tohumanity.
If you have one, embrace it.
If you need one, seek it.
If you find one for the lovethat is all that is good and
holy, dive in.
(32:01):
And that is is the spirit withthis type of thing.
And I'll acknowledge there's alevel of courage and
vulnerability in doing groupwork.
Like I actually, just to make aconfession here, I hadn't done
group work before I startedleading circles.
Oh, and I knew intuitively howpowerful it is because I was
(32:25):
like, oh my gosh, I feel scary.
Like, I mean, I knew about it inthe context of therapy and I was
like, one-on-one therapy is likedeep enough.
I can't imagine being in a groupof people and like sharing.
So there is that element ofvulnerability and courage.
That's really so much of thepower of this.
Trusting your inner voice thatsomething's calling you to this
experience that you know there'ssomething on the other side that
will really amplify where youyearn to go.
(32:48):
And there's also typically likereally cool synchronicity across
groups.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (32:54):
It's one of my favorite things that you're
like, I couldn't because Ireally believe that like I don't
know, whatever it is.
And that's the energy or thatour souls are like, I'm going to
find that person that you get inthe room.
And every time I facilitated agroup or been in one, you're
just like, you can't make thisshit up.
Like, yeah, how are we in thesame room of all the people on
this planet?
Like we landed in the same roomand and not even just like One
(33:16):
to one, it's like that wholegroup dynamic of I like to say
it's like the medicine we needtends to find itself into the
same room, whether it's virtualor in person.
And it's mind below it becauseevery time it happens, like I've
not had a time where it hasn'thappened.
And I probably shouldn't be sobold, but like I'm going to
that.
I just think when your intentionis to gather in this way, it's
(33:39):
like the universe is like, OK,let me help you orchestrate a
few things that you might havedone on your own.
SPEAKER_04 (33:44):
Yeah.
I mean, it's incredible.
Like things like a form ofexperience in youth or sibling
dynamic.
It's really, it's uncanny.
You can't make it up, as yousaid, but it just feels like
it's the medicine.
I love that, that you're allmeant to be there in that
moment.
And I also like to think of itas every person in the group is
a gift waiting to be unwrapped,that you come into this room,
you start as strangers, and youform often lifelong bonds.
(34:06):
I have groups that are in yearfive.
We've been through deaths andbirths and promotions and
demotions, and life is intensethese days.
It's just...
Such a sacred experience to havea trusted circle like what the
Orbit
SPEAKER_03 (34:18):
is bringing your community.
Yeah, it's everything.
I wholeheartedly disagree witheverything you need is inside of
you.
I couldn't disagree anymore.
Because I do.
I mean, obviously, I'm buildingcommunity for a living.
But if that were true, then whywouldn't we be okay if we were
just like roaming aroundisolated all by ourselves
without relationships?
You know, it's just likecommunity.
(34:39):
It's like, yes, and no.
I believe that community is thesecond half of that statement,
right?
SPEAKER_04 (35:03):
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (35:26):
Yeah, you were saying both.
I think you were speaking to theyes and of like, this is the
part of it that is true insideof us.
And then we can be met in theseother ways that like really, I
forget the word you use, butenhance it, bring it out.
It amplifies the word that youuse.
So I think in the world, likewe've talked about this in the
(35:46):
world, generally speaking, and Itend to let's say I'm a little
bit biased in this because I'min a world where everyone is
like into personal growth, notnecessarily in all my friend
groups.
But in my professionalcommunity, everyone's obsessed
with growth work.
So they're really familiar withthe idea of what we're creating,
right?
Of a mastermind model.
And I know you coach inside ofother organizations that are
(36:09):
more towards executive women.
And perhaps they're not asfamiliar with the whole personal
growth world, or maybe it'stheir first exposure to
something like that.
So let's speak to the personthat's feeling a pull from
That's like sitting on the edgeof something, whether they've
done 10,000 hours of growth workor I don't feel like most people
(36:32):
that are drawn to the Nova havedone quite a bit.
You know, it's not like we'relike, you can't come here if you
haven't, like to be very clear.
But it just tends to draw thatwhere they're like, oh, finally,
like you're speaking about thesoul.
You're speaking aboutspirituality.
They're just looking for that.
So it's sort of like anaccidental natural filter for
that.
But if the woman that is kind ofon the edge of taking some sort
(36:55):
of leap, whether it's intosomething new, a next iteration
of something.
They're really in that spacethat you spoke to of, I know
that I want to be held in whatis coming through me, but it
scares me.
What do you say to her?
What do you say to them?
How can I trust that innerknowing that I have right now?
(37:17):
Yeah.
First of all, there will always
SPEAKER_04 (37:20):
be fear if we're making a leap.
Yeah.
So it's not about waiting forthe absence of fear.
Also, typically we won't reach100% slam dunk certainty with
any big leaps because we'reentering the unknown.
And our system is primed forsurvival.
And that means minimizing risk,staying the same.
(37:40):
Like I often say we'd soonerstay in a familiar hell than
leap into an unknown paradise.
Like paradise is waving at us,come join us.
And we're like, no, I'm justgoing to stick with what I know.
So they'll Mm-hmm.
(38:09):
those fear mechanisms thinkwe're still a little girl and
they're trying to keep us safe.
But we're women now, we'reevolved, we're able to handle a
lot more than when we were kids.
So understanding what fear islike a legacy system and
releasing that fear and thenunderstanding if there is any
clear fear that's like, A tigerchasing us or like a true reason
to be a breed.
(38:30):
A lot of times with beer, it'slike the boogeyman.
You can be gripped with allthese thoughts and feel it and
be terrified and you turn on alight and nothing's there.
So I'd say getting clear withfear is a big one.
Recognizing this trust fallelement in big leaps.
I don't know if anyone likesdoing a trust fall.
I mean, it's superuncomfortable.
You're just like, I'm falling.
Like, what's happening?
(38:50):
Where am I going to go?
I feel like I've been in a trustfall for like...
Four straight years.
The trustful piece of like beingable to sit with the discomfort.
And we've talked about it beingembodied, like checking in with
our body.
How does this feel in our bodywhen we vision out what this
change is going to be?
Maybe there's fear and stuff,but like ultimately, does it
give us a sense of expansivenessand lightness and energy
(39:13):
excitement?
Or is it like suffocating andquelching and like just
minimizing and suffering?
Like we end up over time when wehave a relationship with our
body, understanding when I Adecision is for our greater
good, our higher self, versussomething out of the shoulds or
the stuckness or the socialprogramming.
It can feel different with us.
Checking in with our heart.
(39:34):
I've trained in internal familysystems, which I know you're
familiar with.
We can think of it as parts workand really honoring the full
spectrum of our emotions.
And one of the things I likeabout IFS too, and it's kind of
like the movie Inside Out, isvisualizing our inner peeps.
Like in any big decision.
Okay, so like, for example, mymove to France, like there was a
part of me that was like, I loveLA.
I love this life.
(39:54):
I've curated in LA.
I love my community.
Like I don't want to leave.
And then there was this part ofme that was like, we're meant to
move abroad.
This has been a lifelongyearning.
Another sign of a decisionthat's worth pursuing is if it's
something that you can't let goof.
that through years you have thisthought of imagining if I could
or what if I could or how wouldthis look.
(40:14):
So getting clear on that aswell.
And when we honor the fullspectrum of our parts, our
emotions, it's really importantbecause if we're ignoring or
minimizing or abandoning partsof ourselves, it just makes them
become more entrenched and canlead to like anxiety and
depression.
When we see full eyes wide openwith open heart who we are, it
(40:34):
often diminishes a lot of thoseemotional gremlins and we're
able to really embrace this pathit's important to be tactical
practical of course like ifwe're making a huge leap in life
have a plan B you probably won'tneed it you can ask yourself
what do I need to feel safe whatdo I need to feel supported um
Recognizing baby steps arereally important.
(40:55):
When we are entering theunknown, what we think of as a
liminal space, a threshold, MLK,junior, you don't need to see
the whole staircase.
Just take the first step.
Like actually what I've come tolearn over my many metamorphoses
is the first step sets in motionthe change.
So you can't see the whole thingup front.
(41:18):
You have to step into it, whichagain is terrifying.
And there's one more quote I'mgoing to leave you with on this
question, which is Aaron Hansensaid, there is freedom waiting
for you on the breezes of thesky.
And you ask, what if I fall?
Oh, but my darling, what
SPEAKER_03 (41:36):
if you fly?
Perfect ending.
Thank you so much.
It is so true.
And all of that gets to bepossible inside of it, right?
You just have to get yourself tosay yes, and then let yourself
be held.
Let us help you be brave.
Like that's what my community,my sacred circles have done.
They just let me be brave overand over.
And I need bravery every singleday, every single day, because
(41:59):
I'm stretching myself so big forwhat I'm creating in this world
and how I want to create it.
And it's like, let us help yoube brave.
So thank you for being here.
I'm so grateful to get to shareyour magic with our community
and can't wait to see whatunfolds in the group that comes
together this summer.
So have a beautiful day.
Thank
SPEAKER_04 (42:19):
you
SPEAKER_03 (42:19):
so much, you two.
It's
SPEAKER_04 (42:21):
been such a pleasure connecting with you today and
can't wait for this nextchapter.
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