Melissa Bauknight: The Power of Being Seen

Send us a text

In this special episode, we turn the mic toward Inner Rebel co-host Melissa Bauknight — and what unfolds is a deeply honest, powerful conversation about identity, expansion, and the kind of community that changes everything.

Melissa shares the story of her becoming — from high-achieving corporate sales leader silently battling imposter syndrome, to spiritual seeker, coach, and ultimately the founder of The Nova, a global women’s collective redefining leadership, belonging, and power. Through her lived experience, she offers a grounded and generous roadmap for what it really takes to come home to yourself — especially when the world you grew up in taught you to conform.

This episode explores what it means to be truly seen — and how that simple act can unlock lifetimes of untapped potential. We talk about the role of chosen family, the discomfort of being witnessed in your fullness, and the sacred rebellion of building a life that reflects who you really are.

If you’ve ever felt like the black sheep, or you’re navigating your own next chapter — in business, identity, or belonging — Melissa’s story is a reminder that transformation is rarely linear, community is never optional, and who you’re becoming is already in motion.

TOPICS:

• Navigating spiritual awakening and expanding beyond the rules we’re raised by
• How being witnessed changes everything
• The slow, courageous unraveling of identity and friendships
• The birth of a soul business rooted in alignment and integrity
• Redefining belonging through chosen family and conscious community
• Why community is oxygen — and how to create the village you long for

Support the show

If you loved today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaways by screenshotting this episode and tagging us on Instagram! We also have a free virtual monthly community call on the 3rd Thursday of every month, join here!

CONNECT WITH INNER REBEL

Follow Inner Rebel Podcast: @innerrebelpodcast
Follow Melissa: @melissa-bauknight & @thenovaglobal

Follow Jessica: @bydesignwithjess or connect through her website http:/www.bydesignwithjess.com

Visit the Inner Rebel website

Check out The Nova Community and become a part of our "Novalution" https://thenovaglobal.com/

Download...

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
To even question what you've been told is true is
incredibly courageous.
It doesn't always feel likecourage, what looks like courage
to other people.
For me, it feels like survival.
This is our personal medicine.

SPEAKER_05 (00:15):
If I'm surrounded by thinkers, by lovers, by passion,
by integrity, then I really dothink that I know who I am.

SPEAKER_04 (00:21):
There is a piece that is indescribable when
you're being who you are andyou're living your purpose.
I'm not gonna come to the end ofmy life and be like, I didn't
live the life I was meant tolive.

SPEAKER_01 (00:30):
Can I be so comfortable in the unknown and
so comfortable in thatuncertainty that every version
of it is going to be okay?

SPEAKER_02 (00:38):
This is the Inner Rebel Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 (00:53):
I don't know.
I'd feel so private right now.
Like it doesn't feel ready forpublic consumption just yet.
So maybe I'll feel differentlywhen the time comes to put it
out there.
And I also have to check withhim.
Like he keeps things prettyclose to his heart, too.
So we'll see.
We have so many follow-upquestions.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11):
Go ahead.
You remember what he said whenhe proposed, or did you like
totally leave your body?
Because I know when Johnproposed to me, I'm like no idea
what he said to me at all.

SPEAKER_01 (01:18):
We do have a video of it.
I mean, some of the things hesaid, I'm gonna keep to myself,
but well, I don't you don't needto tell me everything.

SPEAKER_02 (01:24):
I'm just more curious, like, did you remember?

SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
I remember a lot of it, not all of it.
I definitely remember being veryfixated on how he pulled it off.
He really surprised me.
So when he opened the ring box,I was just like, how, how, like
my brain was just trying tounderstand what was going on
until it kind of landed back inmy body.
But the video is really nice tohave.
Yeah, I'm just so peaceful.

(01:48):
You sent me a message todayabout everything feeling like
it's clicking into place, and Ithink that's how it feels in my
way.

SPEAKER_02 (01:55):
I was just sort of feeling that as you're sharing
it.
I wish we could always, which isso stupid and unrealistic, to be
like, I wish we could alwayslive in the present as if we had
this certainty that everythingwould all make sense and we
would know that one day it wouldall click into place and that it
would all just be okay.

(02:16):
And I think maybe we get betterat doing that, but the bigger
the void and the bigger theunknown, the harder it is to be
okay.

SPEAKER_01 (02:27):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (02:28):
And hard.

SPEAKER_01 (02:29):
Yeah.
A friend recently reflectedback, this was before the
proposal, but said that myenergy has been so different
lately.
And I asked why, and she saidit's like your questions have
been answered.
Like the previous Jessica wasjust for years living in those
questions, and some of thosequestions have been answered.
And I do think there is a piecehaving made it to another side

(02:51):
of something for sure.
I think I did get pretty good atbeing surrendered in the
questions and in how hard thehard was.
I mean, I was there for so long.
Like I didn't actually know howI was gonna get through it.
I didn't.
But I think if we knew exactlyhow things would turn out, we
wouldn't go on the journey, andthe journey is what prepares us

(03:12):
for the thing.
I think probably be prettycomplacent and go, oh, well,
that's just gonna happen, andand not be willing to do all the
deep work and expansion requiredto hold the vision.
So we can't quite bypass it.
And I think maybe there's a goodreason why we don't know how
things are gonna go becausenothing would really drive us

(03:34):
there otherwise.

SPEAKER_02 (03:35):
And you wouldn't be able to be the person in the
relationship that you are today.
You wouldn't be the Jessica thatis in this relationship at all.

SPEAKER_01 (03:44):
No, it's true.
It's so remarkable actually tohave such a gap between my last
relationship and the one thatI'm in.
It was like a seven-year gap tobe able to really viscerally
feel how different a human beingis showing up this time around.
And I don't know if I would havebeen able to see that so clearly

(04:05):
and it wouldn't be so distinctif there wasn't so much space
and so much growth in between.
So that's that's also somethingI'm feeling really proud of.

SPEAKER_02 (04:14):
What are some of the biggest differences?

SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
Um I think my capacity to take full
responsibility for myself, whatis mine and what is someone
else's is a really big one.
Like I think I've always had ahuge capacity for love.
I think I've always been areally good partner, but I think
my awareness of taking ownershipof my own triggers and taking

(04:38):
ownership of my stuff when itcomes up and recognizing what is
really mine and what is aboutthe relationship and what needs
to be addressed or doesn't.
And also letting someone else becompletely himself, especially
in the personal growth space andas a coach, I really know how to
hold someone to their highestcapacity.

(04:58):
And you know, it's my my work,it's my job to guide people
there.
And I think that got leaky in myprevious relationship.
I think like the lines werereally blurry without knowing.
And he doesn't need my help.
He really doesn't.
Like he's so self-sufficient andself-aware and inspiring.

(05:20):
He doesn't need me that way.
And that frees up my energy tofocus on my own life and our
shared life.
But I think I know my businessthis time around differently.
And it allows the transaction oflove between us to be so much
cleaner and without agenda.

SPEAKER_02 (05:39):
That makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 (05:40):
And learning how to speak my needs and no longer
having to squash parts of myselfor compromise parts of myself
for anyone.

SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
Also, probably the part of like meeting somebody
later in life and having done alot of work before you meet
somebody.
100%.
Like really knowing who you are.
Yeah, it's a real benefit ofthat.
And now it's like, why didn't Imeet him sooner?
It's like, well, because youprobably needed to learn all of
those things that are why it'sworking so well.

SPEAKER_01 (06:06):
True.
And we talk about that a lotbecause there is a grief.
Yeah.
There is a grief in not havingthat sooner and the time that we
feel that we've lost and howlittle time it feels like we
have left in a way, even thoughthere's lots of time.
But we have to remind ourselvesof that pretty frequently that
we probably wouldn't have beenable to create what we have and
be ready for what we havewithout the journeys we've both

(06:29):
individually been on.
And that's just part of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you for asking.
Absolutely.
Okay.
Well, I'm gonna flip flip theturn the tables.

SPEAKER_02 (06:38):
Everyone says flip it.
I always think of um what's thesong which you're like, it's
your flippin' dip and wham yam,you know, the so you do.

SPEAKER_01 (06:46):
Oh come on.
I'm gonna turn the tablesbecause this is not my
interview.
This is your interview.
So we're going to okay.
Well, let's just start over.
Let's just start with start asthough we're starting.
Start at the very beginning.
Welcome to Inner Rebel.

(07:08):
I am so excited about our very,very, very special guest.
This is one of the specialestguests I think we've ever had.
And I'm so excited to introduceher to our listeners.
We have Melissa Bachnight on theshow because it is time that we
have an episode all about you,where our listeners can learn

(07:30):
more about you and theincredible things that you do.
Because even though we aresharing so much on this podcast,
you know, even as we talk toother guests, there's so much
about you and what you do in theworld and your expertise that I
don't feel we've had time toshare.
And so I'm really, reallyexcited to give that gift of you

(07:53):
to our listeners.
Hi, Melissa.
Hi, Jessica.

SPEAKER_02 (07:57):
Even though we actually just spent the first 20
minutes like diving deep intoyou.
And then you're like, no, no,no, this is not about me.

SPEAKER_01 (08:03):
This is not about me.
And I might cut all of that out.
We don't know.
So even though you all have asense of Melissa, I'm still
gonna read you her bio and I'mgonna treat this like an
interview like we have with ourother guests, because I really
want Melissa to be able to shareso much more of who she is with
everyone.
Melissa Bachknight is a businessmentor, community builder, and

(08:24):
founder of The Nova, a globalnetwork of soul-led women who
are rewriting the rules ofleadership, power, and success.
A former top-ranked corporatesales leader turned feminine
leadership catalyst, Melissablends strategy with soul to
help ambitious women buildmovements through the power of
community.
Melissa has coached and mentoredthousands of women across the

(08:44):
globe, spoken on stages aboutpurpose-driven entrepreneurship,
and built one of thefastest-growing chapter-based
women's ecosystems in thecountry, all while raising a
family, healing her body, andtelling the truth about what it
actually takes to rise.
When she's not mentoring womeninto their next level, she's
hiking in Colorado, singingweird songs with her

(09:05):
eight-year-old son Jack,wrestling her dog, and trying to
be a two-five tennis champion ofthe world.
Welcome, Melissa.
Thank you.
Welcome to Inner Rebel.
Are you prepared?

SPEAKER_02 (09:14):
I have no idea.
I'm feeling great.
Yeah.
And a little bit warm in myoffice.

SPEAKER_01 (09:20):
I love that you put layers on.
You're like, I don't want towear a tank top.
And you put you wanna takeanything off.
Oh.
This like a strip interview.

SPEAKER_02 (09:29):
Every time I ask a question, you have to take off
another layer.
Okay.
Get ready, everybody.
This is gonna be our mostexciting interview yet.
More for Block Night gettingvomited.

SPEAKER_01 (09:37):
How does it feel to be in this position to be in the
hot seat?

SPEAKER_02 (09:40):
It feels totally normal.
It feels like my whole life isin the hot seat without any sort
of comfort zone.
So good.

SPEAKER_01 (09:47):
Good.
Let's make you as uncomfortableas possible, but not better.
Great.
So we have talked a lot aboutour inner rebel.
And in our very first episode ofthe season, I did ask you the

question (09:58):
what is your relationship to your inner rebel
now?
But also a lot of time haspassed since then.
So I want to check in again withyou, your inner rebel.
Where are you at currently inyour relationship with that
rebel?
Maybe it shifted or changed orbeen redefined.
What is that for you today?
I feel really at peace with myinner rebel.

SPEAKER_02 (10:20):
She feels incredibly integrated.
I think my inner rebel used tofeel very spicy.
And I think she used to feellike she was trying to prove
something.
And my inner rebel has fueled alot of what I have built in the
world and still does to thisday.
But given what I'm building inthe world right now, I just feel

(10:43):
like my inner rebel is just me.
And I am real grateful for herfor all that she has fought for,
for the pain that she has livedthrough, for the lack of
belonging that she has felt inher life.
But I have never felt moreintegrated and that I belong

(11:04):
than I do in this season of mylife, quite honestly.

SPEAKER_01 (11:08):
It makes me think that our inner rebel is just our
authentic self.
And when our authentic self hasspace to be expressed and is no
longer fighting to be seen andfighting against systems to be
heard, then it no longer has torebel.
It just is.
It's so true.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (11:27):
It's like I've created a world where all I am
is seen.
And so there's really nothing tofight against anymore except the
whole world.
But it is my life, you know,it's my friendships, it's now my
marriage, it's the communitiesthat I show up in all the time.
And it's the whole point of thecompany that I built and the way

(11:51):
that I run my team, it'sliterally the point of it all.
And so there's nowhere that I goanymore that I have to fake it.

SPEAKER_01 (12:00):
Wow.
Can we just take a moment to patme on the back?
To recognize how huge that is.
That there's no place in yourlife that you feel you have to
hide.
Yeah.
What do you think Melissa from10 years ago or 20 years ago,
what would she have believed orthought hearing that?

SPEAKER_02 (12:21):
I don't even think Melissa 10 years ago realized
that she was doing that, to behonest with you.
10 years ago, I was juststarting to become aware that
these things were happening.
That's when I first started mypersonal growth journey.
That's when I first enrolled inlandmark worldwide and was
starting to ask myself thesequestions of like what else

(12:42):
could be available?
What else is out there?
Actually, maybe that was alittle bit more than 10 years
ago.
Because this is my 10-yearwedding anniversary.
So maybe that started 12 yearsago.
If we think about like let'scall it Melissa 12 years ago,
didn't even know.
Didn't even have thisvernacular.
I was in corporate, just likecrushing life.
I didn't know.
You know, it's so funny becauseI have someone that supports us

(13:03):
in social media and she'll writethese posts and she's learning
my story.
So she's doing nothing wrong,but she'll write about like
burnout or these stories thatI'm like, I never had that
story.
Like I was doing great.
However, I didn't know what Ididn't know.
So I didn't realize that thereason that I felt anxious was
because I was hiding.
The reason that I felt like Ihad all these things to prove

(13:25):
was because I didn't really getwhat belonging meant.
And the reason that I had allthese feelings about my parents
was because I was actuallyreally mad at them.
And I had a lot that wasunhealed with them.
And so, yeah, so I think shewouldn't even know that I needed
to go on this journey.

SPEAKER_01 (13:45):
We've talked a lot over the course of the last two
seasons about how we can becomesuccessful on inauthentic
foundations.
And so I think when we've hitall these markers, like we
should be crushing it, like yousaid.
And there are a lot of peopleout there crushing it, but still
feeling off in some way.
Like, I'm wondering what weresome of the things that you were

(14:07):
feeling at that time, eventhough everything seemed to be
going well, that drove you downthis path of seeking more?

SPEAKER_02 (14:15):
Well, I had imposter syndrome.
So, like I was number two in thecompany at 29, making$250,000 a
year, feeling like, what if theyfind out I don't know what I'm
doing?
Like, never feeling like Ideserved the titles that I had.
And I was great at everything,you know, but I was like,
they're gonna find out.
I'm gonna start talking, or mymanager's gonna ride along with

(14:37):
me, and then she's gonna belike, This dum-dum.
How's she pulling this shit off?
You know?
So that was always kind ofthere.
I was in sales and they'd makeus do these mock scenarios.
I would stay up and memorize andmemorize and memorize and
memorize to like make sure thatI got it all right.
And then I would like take Xanaxand I would freak out and I
would crush it.
But I was like so afraid of notgetting it right.
Cause again, they'd probablyfind out that I was a dum-dum

(14:59):
and I didn't know what I wasdoing, and I probably shouldn't
be doing so well.
I just felt like I didn'tdeserve my accolades.
And then I think about it a lotto this day, and I'm like, I
don't know that I was hiding thelot with my friends.
I wasn't as like dropped in andvulnerable as I am now.
I think that part was missing,but you know, with my family, I
was always supposed to be a goodChristian girl, and I for sure

(15:21):
wasn't.
I wasn't in the Christian faithanymore.
And that is still thought of asnot okay in my family.
And I really needed to reconcilewith that and find where I did
fit in in my spirituality andand be okay with where I landed.
And I had a lot of resentmentfor them, not just accepting the
fact that I didn't follow theirpath.

(15:42):
So those were some of the thingsgoing on.
But I think really what hashappened for me is there was a
lot of unactualized potential.
It wasn't that I was playingsmall or any of this.
It's like I had so much more inme, like so much more impact

(16:02):
than I was capable of.
Like me as fully actualizedwhole person leader, I wasn't
even fucking scratching thesurface.
And that's what I feel like I'mgetting to now is like, oh shit,
you're capable of so much morewhen you're not worried about
being an imposter.
Or like, what are people gonnathink if they see you?

(16:23):
I was really good at like a jobin corporate, but what I'm
actually capable of, I don'teven think I have any idea now,
but I'm starting to get aglimpse of it.
And I'm like, this is verydifferent than I ever even
thought.

SPEAKER_01 (16:35):
I love that.
That's so beautiful.
And I feel like I can relate tothis a little bit and where I am
now in my life and the giftsthat I'm utilizing now in my
life.
I couldn't have even fathomedthat they existed inside of me a
decade ago.
Right?
Like if someone had said you'regonna be doing all of these
things, I would have thoughtthey were talking about a
different person.
Yes.

(16:56):
Like, could you feel I haveuntapped potential, or was it I
don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 (17:01):
I think it just takes time to live into it.
I was always doing a lot of big,brave things at every stage of
my life.
You know, like even in college,I was a Division II college
softball player with a fullschedule, getting 3.9 grades
while having a job and aninternship.

(17:21):
That feels like I was reallyliving out my potential, right?
For where I was at in my life, Ifeel like I was expanding into
it at each season.
I think the key element, though,was putting myself in rooms of
expanders who could see thingsthat I couldn't.
I think that's the biggestdifferentiator.
And once I started to do that,then it was like exponential

(17:44):
growth.

SPEAKER_01 (17:44):
I think so often we can look back and feel regret or
shame or remorse at certainthings happening in a certain
way or not fast enough.
And yet you could not become whoyou are without all of those
little tiny micro stages ofdevelopment.
Like every stage you werebuilding the skills or learning
the capacity you needed in thatexact moment to take you to the

(18:06):
next.
Yeah.
But we know now, and this issomething that you talk about
all the time on the podcast thattwo of your biggest passions are
entrepreneurship and community.
And you've bridged those twopassions, and community is like
like central to your whole lifeat this point.
What was the role of communitylike for you back then?
You were doing corporate, youwere very successful, but there

(18:28):
was something still feelinguntapped.

SPEAKER_02 (18:31):
I always had just really good friends.
I played team sports, and so itwas just baked into that, you
know, as a competitive softballplayer and I played basketball
through high school.
And so I always just wassurrounded by a close community.
And I don't think I would havecalled it that.
It was just my team, my people.
And so I always had like mypeople that I was navigating

(18:52):
life with.
And when I moved to Tampa forcollege, I knew nobody, but then
I had my team.
And then when I moved toColorado, I knew nobody.
And um one of the first things Idid actually was I joined a
kickball team.
And that's how I met my people.
And how I got into personalgrowth is a friend of mine who's
still one of my best friends wasin landmark.

(19:12):
And she was an expander for me.
She was one of my bestgirlfriends.
And I remember walking aroundthe park where I lived, and she
talked about it before.
And so she was just having acurious conversation with me.
And I was finally like, yeah,fuck it.
Let's go.
Why not?
I think my life's pretty good,but there probably is some
things I don't know about thatmaybe I could find out about.

(19:33):
And so it was my community offriends that exposed me to a
world beyond what I had known.
People that kind of spoke thiscommon language and opened me
up.
You mean in landmark?
Landmark.
But then like it was also partof my good girlfriends.
Because they were going too.
Because they all went.
So I had this juxtaposition ofthese friends that were really

(19:55):
starting to bridge this gap forme around like communication and
taking personal responsibilityand having integrity in our
lives and doing like interestingthings in the world.
And I was starting to be exposedto this other way of living that
I didn't really know much about,and people that were just more
curious about the world.
And some of my personal friendswere into that, and some were

(20:19):
not.
And it started to kind of createa divide of those that were more
growth-oriented and those thatwere not.
And then I met my husband and hedid landmark too.
So there was like kind of acommon language there between
him and I.
And it's actually what ended upleading us into getting married.
So when I started to learn alittle bit more around what are

(20:40):
some of the foundational thingsthat I can do to learn how to be
just a more conscious humanbeing on planet Earth.
And who are the people in mylife that are committed to
living like this?

SPEAKER_01 (20:52):
And really like doubling down on those
friendships.
So that was a conscious decisionyou made that I need to double
down on the friendships thatmake me feel like we are all
growing in the same direction.

SPEAKER_02 (21:01):
Yeah.
I wouldn't say it was that easy.
Like it was some of the hardestfriendship breakups and like
painful separations.
And I wasn't like, I'm breakingup with these other people.
It was like awkward and slow andfucking terrible.
But I could just feel that I wasgravitating more towards people
working in a certain way, andthat I wanted to live more like

(21:22):
that, and that I wanted to makemore intentional choices about
how I live my life and how Ispent my time and the kind of
work that I did in the world.
And was it was like opening myconsciousness up to this whole
other way of being that I'dnever been exposed to.
And I was like binging thatshit.

(21:43):
I loved it.
I was like, this is my favoritenew addiction.

SPEAKER_01 (21:47):
You have talked about going into these spaces
with expanders and them seeingyou and reflecting parts back to
you that you couldn't see inyourself, and that that
expedited your process ofgrowth.
So, yeah, what happened inlandmark or in those rooms in
community at that time where youstarted to have that experience?

(22:09):
What was that experience likefor you initially?
And what shifted in you?

SPEAKER_02 (22:14):
I mean, being seen does a lot for a person.
So I would say the first personthat really started to see me
was my high school competitivesoftball coach.
He's probably the reason that Iwent away to college in a
totally different state, 18hours away from my family.
He really saw life through alens of adventure and was like,
why wouldn't you go away?

(22:36):
Like, go.
He was the one that lived lifelike that.
And he was the first person thatI'd really encountered as an
adult that encouraged me to gosee the world and showed me the
world like that.
And I'm like, you betcha, I'mgonna try that.
And so that was one of the bigsteps.
And then another huge criticalmoment was the third program in
landmark, the self-expressionand leadership program, when I

(22:58):
was still the one hiding in theback of the room.
Like, don't put me on the mic.
My gosh, do not put me in thefront of the room.
I never got up and shared, evenlike turning to the person next
to me to share somethingvulnerably, like made me want to
crawl inside of my own body anddie.
But there was a moment where wehad like 300 people in the room
in the final landmark forum daywhere they needed one person to

(23:20):
volunteer to go up in front ofthe whole entire room.
And my friends were soenthusiastic that I should be
the one that they called me outand uh I didn't die.
In fact, I was kind of funny andit all went quite well.
And so I was like, maybe I couldsomeday be in front of a room
and not want to die.
But then the other moment waswhen I stood up and I shared,
and the facilitator at the timestopped me in the middle of my

(23:43):
share to tell everybody howpowerful my presence was and
named all of these things aboutme in the way that I spoke and
how I carried myself.
And I don't remember most of thewords that she said, but she was
like, Can you all see this?
Do you see this and this andthis and this?
And had everybody witness me andnamed them.

(24:06):
And I never felt that I was apowerful person in front of the
room.
And, you know, I was like, Ihate doing this.
This is awful.
I'm not good.
I'm an imposter and I want todie every time I do this.
And she named all of thesethings about me.
And it was a real turning pointfor me in my life.
In fact, I've told her this manytimes.
I'm like, Lena, you changed mylife.

(24:27):
And it like makes me emotionaljust thinking about that moment.
And I've had probably a thousandof those moments since then
where people have witnessed meand named things and made me
feel safe to be myself.
And it's literally why I'm ableto say, I don't have to hide any
part of me anymore.

SPEAKER_01 (24:47):
I think it takes a lot of bravery actually to put
yourself in rooms with peoplewho don't think and see the
world in the same way.
And we all grow up in anenvironment with a particular
narrative and worldview, andmany people never grow out of
that worldview.
I think there's just somethingabout the power of people and

(25:08):
community in reflectingdifferent perspectives, inviting
you into new ways of seeing theworld and seeing life that then
helps change your own neuralpathways so that you even can
believe in new potentials.
It's so beyond people justseeing potentials in you.
But if you don't actuallybelieve in those potentials for
your own life by witnessing inother people and seeing that

(25:30):
other people do live anotherway, it's actually very, very
difficult to live differently.

SPEAKER_02 (25:36):
Yeah.
Because I was only exposed toone way of living.
Literally, one.

SPEAKER_01 (25:41):
Yeah.
But think of how brave you arethen.
How much courage it takes tochallenge that narrative.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (25:49):
No, scary first for sure.
So brave.
Well, because first I likemoved, you know, and then I was
like in Tampa, Florida, and I'mlike, oh my God, diversity, look
it.
Not everyone's like a middleclass white person.
This is wild.
And like I started to getexposed to things.
And then I remember being like,wait a minute, I could question
Christianity.
Like that's even a possibility.
Like, I remember like sitting ona couch with a girlfriend, and

(26:12):
for the first time, like evenbeing told that it was available
to question a religion.
Like I didn't even know I wasallowed.
It was so mind-blowing to me.
But then, like sitting in therooms in Landmark when people
were talking about stuff likepolyamory, I'm like, wait a
minute, people have like sexwith different people.
And like I like learned allkinds of shit about

(26:32):
relationships and like what wason the menu.
And I had no idea.
People were talking about allthese different kinds of things.
And then I just got so curiousbecause I was like, wow, I
didn't even know these thingsexisted.
And then, you know, I juststarted to follow the
breadcrumbs.
I remember just asking theuniverse for like an energy
worker one day.

(26:53):
And then I went to a networkinggroup and I met this woman who
was like, I'm a hairdresser.
And by the way, I work with MaryMagdalene.
And I'm like, well, what thefuck does Mary Magdalene do?
You know?
And I went to her house and shedid energy work on me.
And I like had this insaneexperience where I was seeing
light and I was tinglingeverywhere.

(27:14):
And literally, my foreheadwouldn't stop tingling for a
year.
It's like she opened up all myenergy centers just by like
walking near me.
And then I was like, what'sthis?
Why is my head tingling?
So I just started to go downthis rabbit hole of like, why is
my body tingling?
And what else is out there?
So I just started trying allthese modalities.

(27:35):
Got Reiki certified.
I did family constellationhealing.
I did all of these things.
And still to this day, I'm like,there's so much out there that
we don't have any fucking clueis out there.
And not everything is for us,not everything is for you.
But like, who am I to say it'snot real, it's not true, it

(27:56):
doesn't work.
If I've never even fucking heardof it.

SPEAKER_01 (27:59):
But you know more than anyone how strong or how
powerful that need for belongingis.
And we all have such a powerfulneed for belonging from our
family of origin and being partof that system.
So this is why I think it takesso much courage and why so many
people are so afraid to explorenew things and leave their
comfort zone.
Like I'm wondering how did youcarry both of those things at

(28:21):
the same time?
Because you are adventurous andyou are opening up your mind to
this whole new way of being, andthen also have this part of you
that is so deeply needing to beseen and held in community.

SPEAKER_02 (28:32):
Yeah, I think it's because I was like, oh, there's
like so many weirdos out therelike me that are you start to
find a new family in a way, anew Yeah, I was like finding all
this chosen family.
I was finding like all thesecurious people.
I remember even going to thischurch that was like this Mile
High Church, the science of themind and spirit.
And I sit down because I wasstill like going to church, but

(28:53):
I'm like, none of this makes mefeel good at all.
And I sat down, and this womannext to me was like, Oh, I was a
Hindu.
And this other woman was like,Oh, I used to be Catholic.
And this other person was like,I was atheist.
It was like on Easter Sunday,because I'm like, if you're
gonna resonate with me, let'sbring it on Easter Sunday.
Let's see how you show mewhatever you talk about.
And I never even knew whatspirituality was.

(29:15):
And I'm like sitting in thischurch all alone, and all these
people were from all differentbackgrounds, and it was so cool.
They're talking about like MLKand Jesus and all these
incredible spiritual people andamazing leaders.
And I was like, what the fuck isthis?
I just was finding out about allthese worlds that didn't box you

(29:36):
in.
There are all these places outthere that I never knew existed
that you don't actually have tobuy into anything that doesn't
feel true for you.
And then I was finding all thesepeople that were curious too.
And I'm like, I think a lot ofpeople need to know about this
because there's a lot of peoplethat are like, I'm probably the
black sheep of my family.

(29:57):
I don't know where I fit in.
Where are my people?
Like that was my journey for solong.
And I was like, I gotta tellsome people about this.
No spirituality was neveractually talked about it like
this.
It was truly hard.

SPEAKER_01 (30:10):
Did you know that I went to Reiki camp at 10 years
old?
No.
My mom sent me, I don't know ifit was camp per se, but like a
Reiki summer camp when I was 10.
My parents would have been like,that's some voodoo shit.
And I just say that because whatwe grow up being told is what we
know.
It's just the way it is.
It's like my worldview is goingto be so vastly different from
your worldview just because ofthe stories that were told or

(30:32):
what is normalized or notnormalized.
And I just think that's soimportant for people to get
because we think how we seethings is the only way it is.
And it's really not.
And so really not.
And there are people, you know,I encounter a lot of people who
feel lonely or they don't knowhow to find their community and
they don't have that feeling ofbeing seen and known.

(30:53):
And when we talk about it on theshow, sometimes I do have that
question of like, well, youcan't like how do you get to be
seen?
Like that's not something youactually have control over.
How do you can't make people seeyou?
And sometimes they don't seeyou.
So if you're missing being seenand you don't have that
experience of being seen, thenhow does that not turn into this
whole other problem you have?

(31:15):
But okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, we I think we shouldunpack that.
But I but I do think what I'mhearing though is that it does
take an act of willingness onour part to put ourselves out
there, get off the couch, putyourself in spaces with people
that you might not necessarilythink you're gonna connect with.
Be open to new people, be opento new ideas.

(31:35):
When I first moved to LosAngeles, I went to women's
circles with strangers all thetime because I just needed to be
in rooms where people would showup willing to be vulnerable.
Because I'm like, probably mypeople are in spaces where
they're open to personal growthand sharing and vulnerability
and healing.
And then it just becomes thisripple effect where new doors
open and new doors open and newdoors open, and then eventually

(31:57):
your community forms.

SPEAKER_02 (31:59):
It does take a willingness to get out of your
house, first and foremost.
You can be on a Zoom, though.
You don't have to leave yourhouse, you can get on a Zoom.
We do virtual experiences, youdon't even have to put pants on,
but it has to be modeled.
Generally speaking, our world isfucking scary and we've been
bullied as kids.
We've been taught how to likeshape shift and mold ourselves

(32:20):
to fit into other people'sexpectations.
We've been taught there's anaccepted way of being, there's
right and wrong, there's goodand bad, and we have really
learned inside of our bodies howto show up in a way that works
for different environments.
And so why authenticity doesn'talways work is because if you

(32:41):
all of a sudden show up insideof your family of origin in a
totally different way, they'regonna be like, What the fuck is
wrong with you?
Where did Melissa go?
And they might be mean, it'srisky.

SPEAKER_01 (32:52):
And then it shuts it down, like it squashes this new
part of you that's kind ofemerge and it goes right back
into its shell.

SPEAKER_02 (32:58):
Yeah.
And it could be worse.
Then you're like, I tried, thatwas terrible.
Now I'm even more afraid.
So what I would highly advise isfinding a friend.
Most people, hopefully, you havethat one friend that you're just
like, oh my God, we get soweird.
We're always giggling.
That one person you can let yourguard down.

(33:18):
If you don't have that, then Iwould go look for a Nova group.
I would go look on the internetfor a place like
trauma-informed.
Maybe you have a coach that youwork with.
I would look for terms likevulnerability, authenticity,
trauma-informed.

SPEAKER_01 (33:36):
You're suggesting people go into organized groups
that function specifically inthis way.
So not necessarily just meetingup with a friend group, but
putting yourself in situationswhere people know how to hold
this kind of space as a way topractice.
Practice.

SPEAKER_02 (33:53):
Like you need to enter a room and it to feel safe
to be seen, it really needs tobe modeled.
So, like, something I might dois I might be like, oh my God, I
have like crazy pit sweat rightnow.
Like, I might say that as theleader of a room that's not very
professional, but one of thethings we do, like Emily is our
Denver chapter leader, and shewas coming in hot from another

(34:16):
meeting.
And I might be like, hey, um, Iknow you're coming in hot from
another meeting right now.
Would you like me to lead thebeginning of this call so you
can like take some breaths,regulate your nervous system,
and then you let me know whenyou want to jump in?
And she'd be like, I would lovethat.
Thank you so much.
Great, I got you.
We just model that everything'sfucking fine here.
And we have agreements, right?

(34:36):
So we might say, like, this isthe Nova way of being.
You can come in here exactly asyou are, you can participate
exactly as you are here.
If you don't want to talk,that's totally fine.
If you feel like crying todaybecause you're having the
shittiest day of your life,that's totally fine.
If you had something amazinghappening and you're told

(34:57):
normally that you can't talkabout yourself and you have to
hold it all in, you can be bigand braggy here.
Like we just name it and then wemodel it and then we celebrate
it, and that's how we do it.
I love how you do it.
That is how we do it.
Yeah, I would I would go find aplace where this is known how to

(35:18):
do this, so you can go practicebecause you literally are
rewiring your body to learn whatit feels like.
And I did this a lot withstrangers first, actually.
It's actually way less riskywith strangers, even though it's
like seems kind of weird.
And then I started to do it withfriends.
The people closest to you arethe scariest because they know

(35:40):
you the most.
So when you're trying to be adifferent person and you go try
to do that with your parents,they're like, I've known you for
40 years, what the hell'shappening?
You know, so it took me thelongest to rewire this with my
husband and my parents.
So I did a lot of practicingwith strangers who became very
dear close friends, but I did itin places where there was a
facilitator who taught us.

SPEAKER_01 (36:00):
If someone does not feel seen in the group that
they're in when they'repracticing this, is that
indicative of it being the wronggroup?

SPEAKER_02 (36:08):
100%.
Okay.
Get the fuck out.
I've been in those groups andthey're actually more
traumatizing, and it's not good.
Can you put words into whatbeing seen truly felt like?
I think at some level, it feelslike, oh, I didn't die when I
said that out loud.

(36:29):
No one judged me.
I didn't feel alone.
Being seen isn't always like, ohmy god, girl, I know I get you.
You know, it's not always likethat.
Sometimes it's like, oh, I waslike really scared to say that
out loud.
Like different spectrums, likesaying something like, I kind of
fucking hate my dog.
Like I remember saying that outloud, and my neighbor was like,

(36:50):
Oh yeah, me too, my puppy sucks.
You know, like I felt reallyseen.
I feel like everyone wassupposed to love their dogs, and
mine was so hard and it sucked.
So that's like one sillyexample, but also I felt awful
because I wanted this puppy andit was awful, and I wanted to
give it away.
And I felt terrible for sayingit out loud.
There's nothing that I've eversaid or done or admitted out

(37:11):
loud that I have been alone, notonce.
And I think that's the biggestpart of it is like you're not
alone.
Someone is having some sort ofsimilar experience.
You're not crazy, it's okay,you're not alone, and it's
valid.

SPEAKER_01 (37:24):
I wanted to ask you what you think is so powerful
about being seen, but I thinkit's part of not feeling alone.
But why do you think that is sopowerful?

SPEAKER_02 (37:34):
I mean, I think that's part of belonging, right?
It's like something's wrong withme that I feel this way.
I shouldn't feel this way.
I'm supposed to be having adifferent experience.
Everyone else out there ishaving a different experience,
and something must be wrong withme that I'm feeling this way.
That's like what we tellourselves, right?
I'm the only one.

(37:54):
Belonging is so core to survivalas a human being.
And nobody wants to be the onlyone on planet Earth to be
experiencing the thing thatthey're experiencing.
It makes us feel terrible.

SPEAKER_01 (38:08):
Like something is fundamentally wrong with us.
I think there's gonna be peoplelistening who go, but aren't we
supposed to belong to ourselves?
Like, isn't the idea ultimatelythat we belong so much to
ourselves that it doesn't matterwhere we are, it doesn't matter
who sees us if we see ourselves,or do you think that that's a
bullshit concept?

SPEAKER_02 (38:29):
Uh I think it's a bullshit concept, but I also
think it's sort of true.
They they coexist.
It has taken me being incommunity and feeling deeply
seen and loved in community withothers to now be like, oh, I
really deeply see myself.
That's why I can go to myparents and be like, it's cool
that you think I'm going tohell.
I'm good.

(38:52):
It's probably really fun.
You know, I mean, all my friendsare there.
It's fine.
You know, they go together, butI don't think there's anybody
that could be hated by the wholeworld and be like, but I belong
to myself, so I'm fine.

SPEAKER_01 (39:07):
There's a channel in human design that we call the
channel of community.
And it's made up of two numbers,and one is 40, which is the gate
of aloneness, and then 37, whichis the gate of friendship and
family.
And why they call it the channelof community, and what I find so
interesting about how it'sexplained, is that in order for
a community to be healthy and tothrive, everyone within that

(39:28):
community actually needs to betheir own individual, right?
We need to be self-actualizedand individuated in order to
serve the group in a way that ishealthy and functional, like
rather than losing ourselves incommunity, like using community
to escape ourselves.
So I think what you're sayingabout I think it's bullshit, but

(39:49):
I think it's also true because Ithink that we actually just need
both fundamentally.
Like we need a certain amount ofseparateness and self-ownership
and autonomy.
And we aren't islands, likehuman beings need connection.
We need to belong as well.
And I think that the thing tolearn ultimately is how do we
belong and how do we connect andhow do we serve in a group, but

(40:13):
not lose our sense of self.

SPEAKER_02 (40:14):
Yeah.
And there's discernment, right?
I lean on specific people toremind me in the seasons where I
feel a little lost.
I'm like a pretty freakingconfident, whole,
self-actualized person, butthere are seasons where I'm
like, oh my gosh, I feel alittle bit like needing someone
to remind you who you are toreflect that back to you.

(40:37):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there are people in my lifethat have earned that role of
reminding me, you being one ofthem.
I have those people.
And even one of the things, Idon't remember if I've talked
about this on here, but I have agroup of girlfriends that have
really taught me a lot aboutfriendship.
And we have created threadswhere when you forget who you

(41:00):
are, here's what you listen toto be reminded.
I love that.
And we say, like, this is whoyou are for me, because there
isn't a person that doesn't needthat 100% at times in your life.

SPEAKER_03 (41:12):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (41:12):
But that's discernment.
Not everyone gets that role.
Not everyone knows you at thatlevel.
So I think even the mostconfident, clear, powerful,
whatever person has moments orseasons, I should call it, where
you're like, what the fuck'sgoing on?
Can someone just remind me thatI am gonna be okay?

SPEAKER_01 (41:33):
Yeah.
I love that these, I guess itwas a series of experiences that
you had.
Being recognized and being seenbecame your life mission for
others.
Now your whole life is centeredaround helping other people feel
recognized and empowering themto live their dreams, seeing
their vision and holding spacefor their visions and helping
them actualize it.
So this is the seed, from what Iunderstand, that the Nova was

(41:55):
born, your company.
And I know we've shared with ourlisteners a lot about your
entrepreneurial journey and someof the challenges of that.
We don't have to go through allof that again.
But I don't know if you evershared what the spark was of
that vision.
Like, how did all of thisexperience lead you to this
moment of, oh, this is what I'msupposed to burn?

SPEAKER_02 (42:17):
The thing about it is it had been building all
along.
You know, it wasn't like alightning bolt hit me in the
forehead and I was like, this isit.
You know, it had been buildingthrough all of these
experiences.
A lot of which actually, which Ibarely talk about and I really
need to, was Beauty Counter.
I spent nine years in a directmarketing company, direct sales

(42:38):
company, learning about thepower of a movement, learning
about building an army of womencentered around a really badass
mission, learning about feminineleadership, learning about why
you actually really do want toblend friendship and business,
how it's one of the mostpowerful things you can do.
Learning about programdevelopment and partnerships and

(43:01):
running events.
That's actually what taught methe most, in addition to like
all the inner work I was doing.
That is like what laid thefoundation for so much of what I
was building.
Because I was like, well, Idon't fucking want to do this
for somebody else again.
Guess what?
They closed the doors in oneemail.
I lost nine years of work, oneemail, hundreds of thousands of

(43:23):
dollars in one email.
That's a spark.
Yeah.
If I ever had one lit under myass, and also so devastating.
Yeah.
Thankfully, I was already inmotion, but that taught me so
much about inspiring authenticleadership around a movement.
So I had been already buildingcommunity, I'd been already

(43:44):
doing these connection calls.
So much of these things werealready in motion, and I was
losing my inspiration forbuilding somebody else's dream.
And I'd known for 10 years thatI wanted to build a
chapter-based organization.
I'd known I wanted to build amembership.
And so I don't know why Idecided it was time, but I just
did because I don't really thinknot a lot of what I do is

(44:08):
premeditated.
I don't know if you've realizedthat yet, Jess.
I just know when I know, andthen I just do.
And so I knew I impulsivelysigned up for Sarah Jenks'
counsel.
I saw a post, I signed up forit.
I thought I'm not a person thatbelongs in that room.
She doesn't choose people likeme.
I'm not good enough.

(44:28):
There was still a little bit ofimposter syndrome even then.
Well, because it felt like sucha big room for me.
Like that's the thing I'mlearning now.
I'm putting myself in theserooms that I'm like, you're a
crazy lady.
You don't belong in those bignow, not anymore.
At this stage, now I'm like, allright, we're going in that room.

SPEAKER_01 (44:45):
Haven't you noticed that wherever we have fear is
actually initiation?
Like anytime anytime you'relike, oh, this feels too
stretchy, is actually the nextplace you're meant to be.

SPEAKER_02 (44:55):
Yeah.
And so now I feel like I amquantum leaping at every turn.
In that room, I was like, Idon't know who I thought went
into the rooms of Sarah Jenks,but it was like not people like
me.
But it totally is.
And this is why I'm realizingwho I actually am as a human
being and the leader and aninfluencer and a catalyst for
change and someone that actuallycan build a movement.

(45:17):
Like I'm like, oh, you actuallyare that person.
And I've realized that in likeless than two years.
And so I signed up for thisprogram, got in the room, and
started to really dive intointegrating my whole self,
repairing my marriage, puttingthe sacred feminine kind of at
the center of my world andreally coming out with my

(45:39):
spirituality and things that Ihad been hiding.
Actually, what I knew, Jess, wasthat I felt ready to do this,
but I was still hiding in mymarriage and my spirituality.
And so I joined a priestessmastermind so I could repair my
marriage and come out of hidingin my spirituality, is what I
did.

SPEAKER_01 (45:56):
Good for fucking you.
Thank you.
Seriously.
And I I also want to highlightthat because actually, this is
something that that my fianceesaid.
We were just talking aboutsomething really cool that he
had done, and I asked why he haddone it.
And he said, because it scaredme.
So I did it.
And I see you doing that a lot.
As soon as there's an area whereyou're like, I feel like I have
hit the edge of how far I knowhow to go on my own.

(46:19):
You actually take theself-initiative to put yourself
in uncomfortable spaces toaddress it.
That's remarkable.
And I want everyone to takenotes.
So cool.
Because we get so complacent inour lives and we stay victim to
all the things that we think areholding power over us.
But really, we need to take thatstep, get really uncomfortable,

(46:40):
and look at the parts of us wedon't want to look at.
Because that's actually wherethe growth is and the
transformation is.

SPEAKER_02 (46:45):
It's so uncomfortable.
That's when people are like,What's your comfort zone?
I'm like, I don't, I literallydon't think I have one.
But you know, it's interestingbecause I was unpacking this
with Lizzie Langston, who runsour Phoenix chapter.
She's our member concierge andshe's sunshine in human form and
she's a psychic medium, andshe's like, Your energy,
everything is just so clear andit's it's wild.
And she's like, What'd you do?
Trying to help me identify thepattern, which is a genius thing

(47:06):
to do as a coach.
And what I do, and she's like,Did you like go on a vacation?
Then did you do this?
I mean, I wish I was like, Iwent on a vacation, I came back,
and boom, everything was good.
I become obsessed with solvingthe problem.
I'm like, you're blocked.
Go fucking figure it out.
And I do it through otherpeople.
I'm like, all right, we're gonnago find the experts who are like

(47:28):
a hundred steps ahead of you,and then you're gonna hire them,
or they're gonna be your mentor,and you're gonna figure it out
and they're gonna guide you.
And so that's what I've beendoing.
I'm like, great, this person'sbuilt a global gajillion dollar
company.
Okay, they're gonna be your newfriend, and you're gonna bravely

(47:49):
ask them to mentor you.

SPEAKER_01 (47:51):
I always say I don't want to take advice from anyone
who is not living what I want tobe living, right?
And that's another thing aboutcommunity, is there are people
who have done the thing we wantto do.
They they have experiences thatwe don't have and they can help.
And you might still have to doit your way, but they can be
guides, they can hold space,they can show you a path.

SPEAKER_02 (48:11):
They can tell you your blind spots.
The thing that's happenedrecently is you know, I asked, I
don't even know how many people,it's not even embarrassing, but
I'm I'm a one-three.
I've been investigating the shitout of my life.
I'm like, I gotta figure thisout.
We want to grow our community.
Where are the gaps?
What is the question I should beasking?
What do I need to be solving?

(48:31):
So I'm finding really nicepeople to help me find the
questions that I should beasking.

SPEAKER_01 (48:37):
I love that.
What are the questions I shouldbe asking?
What are the right questions weshould be asking?
Because I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (48:41):
There's nine million things.
People are like, what can I helpyou with?
I'm like, I literallyeverything.
I have no idea.
So they help me narrow down thequestions I should be asking.
And then once I know, I haven'tfigured it all out, but I can go
to work and I wake up inspiredat 6 a.m.
and I'm like, now I know thequestions that I should be
asking, and I can solve thosequestions.
And then what's next?

(49:02):
And I feel like I'm likefiguring out how to be a fucking
CEO.
And I was literally like CEOclasses.
Do I need to go to school to be?
How do I be a CEO?
How do I do this job?
I don't know how to do this job.
Is there a school I can go to?
Who can teach me to do this job?

SPEAKER_01 (49:18):
I want to talk about the voice message that you left
me.
You left me a voice memo thismorning that was so amazing.
Long.
I know that we have to wrap upreally soon, but I really want
to touch on this before we go.
I think if people really want tounderstand your journey as an
entrepreneur, they can go back,they can listen to the last
season and the first episodefrom season two, because you do
talk about your challenges atthat time and what was so

(49:41):
overwhelming and all of thelearning that you've done.
And now you seem to be in a verydifferent place.
I love the words you used.
It was like the vision is beingcrystallized.
And you're like now two yearsin.
Is that right?
About two years in?

SPEAKER_02 (49:54):
Not even.
Well, I guess, yes, technically,I started working on it, but we
didn't even have a team hiredyet.
It hasn't been two years sincemy first team came together.

SPEAKER_01 (50:02):
There's been moments where it's been like a shit show
for different periods of time.
Yep.
You've done a lot of learning,and I love how you put like
building the plane as they flyit.
Building the plane as you flyit.
How would you articulate whereyou feel you are now?
I'm having a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_02 (50:17):
Yay.
Praise be.
Because I've certainly hatedthis company in seasons, and I
feel sad saying that out loud.
I've had a real big commitmentto laying a solid foundation.
And it turns out laying thesolid foundation can really suck
because it's I mean the processof that, like the journey of
that, you mean the process oflike tech build-outs and like

(50:42):
operationalizing something andfiguring out how to create SOPs
and duplicatable systems.
And like for somebody like me, Ican do it.
I actually do have that kind ofa brain.
It's just not my center of joy.
But in order to create somethingthat's not gonna crash and burn
when you have growth, it'sreally critical.

(51:03):
It's like trying to build ahouse where you're like, I don't
really want to build afoundation.
Fuck it.
I'm just gonna put some walls upand tile it and make it look
pretty.
And I'm just not gonna build abusiness like that.
And I've never done this before.
So for those of you who thinkyou're supposed to be awesome at
something immediately, I feelyour pain because I've never

(51:24):
done this before and I wanted tobe awesome immediately.
And as it turns out, you're notgoing to be.
So not in every way, maybe.
There's some ways you werealways awesome immediately.
Thank you.
There's an excruciating partabout being a visionary and
being in the gap.
It's like torture.
Because so many of the thingsthat are happening now, I've

(51:45):
been able to see all along.
And I'm like, what the fuckaren't we there?
And so being in the gap betweenwhat you can see and where you
are is like madness.
So where we are today, since youasked, is we have well, we'll
have at least nine to tenchapters by the end of the year.
We call them constellationsbecause that's way more fun than

(52:06):
chapters, all in the US, allover the country.
I've just rebuilt our customerjourney.
Everything is appearing infives, like a five-pointed star,
which my sweet little psychicmedium, Lizzie, came through
her, and now everything isappearing in fives.
Now we're going to be releasingthe reclamation rituals, which I
sobbed the first time I wroteit.

(52:26):
It's literally like 10 years ofmy journal entries, honestly, is
where it came from.
And it's five North Stars ofwhat it takes to reclaim
yourself, your life, andactually not just our own, but
as a collective.
Collective reclamation is whatwe're doing.
And so they're rituals to meetyou in whatever season of your

(52:48):
reclamation you're in.
And I'm fucking pumped.
And they're spicy.
And this is like a program orit's a download.
They're like, it's a PDF.
You get it.
It's like a top of funnel.
You land on our website andyou're like, what are they doing
around here?

SPEAKER_01 (53:00):
Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_02 (53:01):
It's a free download.
It's one of the coolest thingsI've ever created.
I'm so excited.
And it's like music paired withreflection questions, paired
with nervous system things tomake you feel safe in your
actual body, because we justtalked about that.
And then you get access to StarPath, which is an online AI

(53:21):
astrology oracle.
All these ways for you to justlike really dig into your own
reclamation.
And there's five different NorthStars.
So you can just tap into howyou're feeling.
And then there's a ritual foryou to go through.
So there's like the threshold,then there's Nova Core, which is
all of our virtual programmingand our online community that
everyone's a part of.
Then there's Nova Local.

(53:42):
If there's a constellation,there's the orbit, which is our
year-long journey into yourfully expressed feminine
leadership.
And then our legacy, which iswhat we're building out next,
which will be those that arefurther along in their journey
and want to like give back intomentorship.
So we have this full path thatjust crystallized the last
month.
We really solidified in whowe're speaking to because

(54:05):
everyone's kind of like, well,who are you serving?
And it's really thepurpose-driven entrepreneur.
All of it's inside of what wecall the unboxed woman.
So I don't want to say we onlyserve entrepreneurs because,
like me, I've been in corporate,I've been in direct sales, I've
been a founder.
Sometimes I've done both.
Sometimes I was a stay-at-homemom, also doing this permission
to just be wherever you are.

(54:27):
So the unboxed woman is apurpose-driven entrepreneur or a
woman that's inside, which wecall the bridge builder.
So someone that's a creative ora leader inside of an
organization that just reallyaligns with our values.
And then I also just built outall of the programming for the
orbit, which we are filling upright now, which is that premium
feminine leadership path.

(54:48):
It's a year-long container.
And it was like five portals.
Five is so wild.
But that was also built aroundmy personal journey that I keep
living even since I was in my20s of what's the arc to feeling
like your fullest expression inthat season of your life.
So we have Sacred Rebellion,your North Star, rooted
expansion, resonant visibility,and liberated leadership.

(55:11):
I feel like this whole thing isall coming together and we're
getting our chapter leaderstrained and getting like a whole
structure for them.
I'm like, look at us go.
We're figuring it out.

SPEAKER_01 (55:23):
How's it feel?
This is your baby.
This is your vision, and you'reseeing it really come to life.

SPEAKER_02 (55:29):
It feels like a really cool brand.
It feels like such a labor oflove and such a group effort,
you know, that it's been reallybuilt by an army of women along
the way.
And now I'm like taking credit,I think, for more of what I
should have been taking creditfor too.
But there's also been justcountless people that have been
a part of the ideation and everypart of it.

(55:52):
It's just been such a communityeffort that I'm just really
proud of us for what we'redoing.

SPEAKER_01 (55:57):
I don't know if I've ever seen someone build
something so consciously.
Like even in your mostunconscious moments, I think
maybe one of your biggestchallenges is impatience and
just wanting to like get thething, get the thing done.
It's so you know, it's a verymanifesting generator trait.
So true.
You skip some steps sometimesand have to retract and go back
and like build the foundation alittle bit more solidly and

(56:19):
you're learning as you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But even in that process,bringing so much consciousness
and love and integrity and soaware of what you want to build,
the quality of what you want tobuild and the values that you're
building it upon.
And I just really respect thehell out of you.
I think it's amazing, it's veryinspiring.

SPEAKER_02 (56:40):
Thanks, friend.

SPEAKER_01 (56:41):
Welcome.

SPEAKER_02 (56:41):
It'll be wild to look back in a year and then in
five years just to be like,Yeah, it's gonna take on a life
of its own.

SPEAKER_01 (56:47):
I think it's already starting to.
The vision starts to show youwhat it's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_02 (56:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I really believe that this thingis like it's its own soul.
Yeah.
And I think that's the problemwith trying to rush things.
I'm probably gonna rush thingsmy whole life, probably not
gonna stop.
I do think that that it's like atestament to time.
But when it's time, it's time.
Like what has fallen into placein the last month?
I've wanted to know for years.

(57:14):
And then it's just like and it'sfelt so easy and simple and
clear.
So when it's time, it's time.

SPEAKER_01 (57:21):
You gotta stick with the process, though.
A lot of people would havejumped shit by now.
And you gotta stick with theprocess, you gotta see it
through.
Those really, really hard timesare not necessarily a sign to
quit.
They're a deepening, they'relike a recommitment to what it
is that you're trying to create.
And there are lessons on the wayto creating capacity to hold the
magnitude of that vision.

SPEAKER_02 (57:42):
You also do need to know, you do need to have
discernment in that.
Because I do think sometimes I'mlike, am I just being so
stubborn?
I refuse to quit because that'sjust who I am.
I have really wondered that.
Are you just supposed to shutthis thing down?
And who knows?
Maybe I was and I just didn'tgive up.
But I think only you know that.

(58:04):
But I do understand why they arelike, well, I don't know what
percentage of businesses fail,but I'm like very clear as to
why.
But I do think that this is whyI say like the size of your
vision determines the size ofyour support system.
And so if you have a really bigvision, you better saddle up
with your people because if Ididn't have who I have, well,

(58:26):
there's a 150% chance this wouldbe done.
So if you think you're gonnacarry out a big vision by
yourself or with a tiny littlehandful of people, you're
joking.
There's no fucking way.
So you need to go get supported.
You need to go plug in, you needto give up any sort of idea that

(58:46):
asking for help is weakness.
I'm constantly like, I don'tknow.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I need your help.
What do we do?
How does this look?
What do you think?
It's just like constantly helpme out.
Here's where I'm at.
Who do I need to know?
Who do I need to talk to?
Yeah.
What can I do all the time?
Yeah.
And that's the only reason thatI'm it's not the only reason I'm
okay.
I'm okay for a lot of reasons,but like it's why I'm still

(59:09):
going.

SPEAKER_01 (59:10):
I think you've partially answered it in what
you just said.
But as I wrap us out, becausewe've talked so much about
community and being seen in thelast hour and a bit, what is the
message you want peoplelistening to understand about
community and its role in ourlives?

SPEAKER_02 (59:26):
It's just like oxygen.
It's the most important part.
We need to bring back thevillage everywhere.
Like, we don't need to be doingbusiness alone, marriage alone,
raising families alone.
If the way that I do my life caninspire anybody to be less

(59:46):
alone, like let it be that.
Well, also, it just makes life alot more fun.
Cool.
I can pick up the phone and callone of 30 people to get help on
any area of my life.
Like, I just think bring backthe village and choose your life
around.
It if you can, yourneighborhood, yeah, all of it,
pick it around that so that youcan be supported.

(01:00:07):
Environment and the people in itare the most important thing,
truly, so that you can actuallyfind joy in your life.
The point of life is not to likesuffer through it until the day
you die, have a little bit offun, have a little bit of space.
Try not to carry it all on yourown shoulders.
It's hard enough.
You're gonna have hard times nomatter what.
So why not spread it out alittle bit and share the load?

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:30):
Love it.
Thank you, Melissa.
Thanks, Jess.
Thank you so much.
I love you.
I have so much more to ask you,but I over asked, we're out of
time.
So thank you for your generosityand sharing all the way through
our podcast, sharing so openlyand vulnerably, like the
roughest, toughest parts of thisjourney.

(01:00:53):
Not everyone is that open andwilling.
You are really walking the talk,you're practicing what you
preach, and so authentically, asa leader of community, guiding
by revealing it can be messy, itcan be hard.
I don't have to presentsomething perfect and make
people think I have it allfigured out in order to be

(01:01:13):
successful.
You get to be human on thisjourney and you get to be
generous with others and you getto receive support.
So thank you, my dear.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:21):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:22):
You're welcome.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:22):
Love you.
Thanks for having me.
My pleasure.
Love you.