November 15, 2024 • 47 mins
Dive into the vibrant world of drag as Maine's local drag performer, Dominick Varney, shares personal stories and insights on embodying Queer Joy through the art of drag. This episode explores the power of performance art in challenging norms and celebrating identity, highlighting how drag can be a profound expression of self-love and community spirit.
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This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered health advice. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice. *Please note that this episode contains sensitive behavioral health topics such as suicide and substance use. If you are experiencing a behavioral health crisis, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling 988 or visiting www.988lifeline.org.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The Inspired Insights podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered health advice.
(00:06):
This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice.
Please note that this podcast may contain discussions on sensitive topics such as mental illness, suicide, and substance use.
If you are experiencing a behavioral health crisis or need support, please contact the 9-8-8 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling 9-8-8 or visiting www.988-lifeline.org.
(00:46):
Hello everybody! Welcome back to this week's episode of the Inspired Insights podcast with Soren Peterson, Chris McLaughlin, and today we have a lovely guest.
(01:07):
A lovely celebrity, if you will. Would you like to introduce yourself?
Yeah, my name is Dominic Barney and I'm an actor, director, choreographer in the area.
Some of you might know me by my alter ego, which is Priscilla Poppy-Gox.
Which I cannot wait to start talking more about.
(01:28):
Yes, me too.
And I also work at the University of Maine. I'm a teacher and advisor there too.
Dominic, thanks so much for coming. Hi Soren, by the way.
Hi!
Thanks for starting the episode off.
Thanks for being here. I'm super excited to get into some conversations.
For our listeners, in full transparency, Dominic and I have been friends for years now.
(01:52):
And this is an episode that I've really been excited and so appreciative of you kind of stepping through the friend boundary and coming into the podcast zone. So thank you for being here.
Thank you, I feel honored.
Thank you.
Soren, how's your week been, by the way?
My week has been really swell. I've been, actually my friends and I have been really getting into Magic the Gathering.
(02:18):
I wondered if you were going to bring this in.
Because it's just so fun. And I think it's really pleasant and it's reinvigorated my excitement for games and sort of like non-intellectual topics, right?
Yeah, take a break from some of the...
(02:39):
I spend all my time in the miasma of academia or like books that I'm reading. And I think Magic with my Friends is just a lovely break from that, where I get to take my head and breathe a little, take my head above water.
And how important that is.
Yes.
Which brings me to thinking about Inspired Insights for the week. Do you want to go first? Do you want me to go first?
(03:04):
Yeah, I can go first.
Okay.
So my inspired insight of the week is inspired by the first few chapters of Crime and Punishment, which I just started reading.
And in that I see the main character isolate more and more. And as he isolates, he grows a greater loathing for people as a whole.
(03:29):
And it's just sort of this positive feedback loop leading to ultimate isolation, right?
Yeah.
And that's also the case for positive emotions as well. And it shows me that although we have control over our emotions, our emotions so quickly build on themselves, spiral and control us, right?
(03:52):
Yeah.
So that's my inspired insight of the week.
That's a good one.
Dominic, would you let's a good one go?
Well, that just made me think about feelings. And I have a five year old named CJ. And he, we just read a story called The Boy with Big Big Feelings.
And I know that story.
It's beautiful. And it's a moment of reflection on him. Like, I want to make sure that I'm raising a child that is okay being emotional. Like he's emotional child.
(04:23):
And this inspired insight just made me think about the like, all days ago, we had breakfast and I'm not always an amazing parent. So I gave him yogurt and I offered him what the other thing would be.
And I said, would you like a waffle pancake, a pop tart? And he was like, I want a pop tart. And I was like, of course you do.
(04:45):
So he went off and I went to the cover to get a pop tart and we were out of pop tarts.
Yeah, I know.
Wow.
So all of our listeners just went, my heart dropped.
Yeah.
Well, so did he.
So we gave her on the corner and I was like, hey, buddy, we don't have any pop tarts. And he's like, oh, and I was like, I'm gonna make you a waffle. Is that okay? And he's like, yeah, that's okay.
(05:06):
And then so I was making the waffle and all of a sudden I heard the piano and the other room start playing and he was just playing the piano. And I was like, oh, that's really cute.
And then out of nowhere, I heard him singing.
No pop tarts for me today. No pop tarts at all. And it was like, perfect. I was like, oh, I'm so sorry you don't have a pop tart. But I was like, we wouldn't have had this moment.
(05:29):
Yeah.
If I had a pop tart. So he's like his own Billy Joel moment.
Yeah. Has that been something that you have worked with CJ on, like CJ on to like direct towards music or just did that on his own?
No, we just did it on his own.
That is so cool.
Cool. Oh, so my inspired insight is going to keep this feelings trend going. So thanks for kicking that off, Soren.
(05:55):
Yeah, Derek and I went and saw a show at Penobscot Theatre last night, their first show of this new season, which Inspired Consulting Group is a sponsor of, goes Penobscot Theatre.
Thank you for allowing me to sponsor your season.
And so we went to the first show, which was a play called Birthday Candles. And it probably is one of the most beautiful stories I've ever seen play out on a stage. And the fact that this is happening in Bangor, Maine just blew me away.
(06:32):
I went through all the feelings. It was like 90 ish minutes of every single feeling. And I'm going to call my husband out a little bit. When we left the theater, you know, that silence of people kind of processing kind of a heavy ish performance.
(06:52):
And Derek was just like, I didn't even realize I was crying. And I'm crying. And I was like, Oh, I realized I was crying. Like all of the feelings. But it's just for me, so here's where the insight comes in, right?
The importance of supporting the arts and the importance of supporting local theater, especially when it's this good, supporting it, and the importance of these public displays of emotion that just model for the rest of the world as you're doing with CJ, that it is absolutely not just okay, but essential.
(07:32):
Totally.
That we experience the full range of all the emotions that as humans we're able to experience.
Yeah. What I see in both of you guys's inspired insight is that arts primary utility is to be as a incarnation of emotions.
(07:52):
Yeah.
It is a raw expression of a emotional sensation and can lead to an outlet and an expression of within other people, those emotions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I know that you, Dominic, are a performer. And I was wondering how drag and just you have used theater in general as an outlet and expression for your emotions or how you've used it to develop your own emotional state, right?
(08:25):
Great question.
Yeah. I always look at my life in thirds, which is weird. I've always believed that in order for my emotions to be neutral, that there were three things that needed to be in balance.
And so one was that I knew that I wanted to be teaching. I wanted to be inspiring and changing the world in a classroom setting. And that's something professionally that I do and that I went to school for.
(08:51):
And then there was a part of my being that needed to be fulfilled at the theater level. I needed to be performing and writing and artistically doing something and then balancing that out with my own personal family.
Yeah.
And I always found that the family being the center of it, that if one of those other things was off, then the family was off.
(09:13):
So if I was completely immersed in work teaching and I didn't have an artistic balance there, that my family could tell that something was off.
And vice versa, if I was only doing theater and not really focusing on the teaching, then my family felt that too.
Yeah.
So that's like how I maintain my life, which is exhausting.
(09:38):
Yeah.
But during COVID, that was really tricky.
Yeah.
Because both of the things that I do to balance my life were really non-existent.
Yeah.
That's really kind of where my drag journey started was during COVID.
Yeah. Well, let's just get right into it. Tell us a little bit about her. Tell us about Priscilla.
(10:01):
Priscilla is full of sass with a little bit of class. Yeah. I was looking for a way to connect during COVID, being at home.
And I work with the Penobscot Theater. That's not a secret. And the director at the time was looking for something that would connect the community.
(10:26):
And so I said, why don't we do like a talk show on Zoom?
And I was going to do it as Dominic. And I don't know, somewhere along the line, I did a video playing Frankenfurter during COVID and people really enjoyed it.
Yeah.
So like, I was like, why don't I do it in drag? And she was like, okay.
So I just started this talk show called Dition in Drag, where I talked to people all over the community about theater and arts.
(10:52):
And about like five or six episodes in, I was just had the feeling that I need to like name her. I need to name this persona.
And so there's a history around Priscilla Poppycox. And so, yeah, she kind of came.
So as somebody who watched all of your videos, you also got, what was also really fun is you would make cocktails, and you would invite your viewers to make those cocktails and sort of have this dynamic of having a little happy hour together and just kind of Dition in Drag.
(11:30):
Yeah, it was super fun.
I've told you this before, mission accomplished with that whole piece around connecting and community.
Like, it brought so much joy to so many people, not just in this area, but all over.
Yeah, I know that, like, my experiences being in quite a rural area, I haven't had a lot of queer influences outside of the internet, right?
(11:58):
And in freshman year, I went to go see your Christmas Priscilla Poppycox show. And I found it really inspiring.
I really, really liked it because it was the first time I had seen like a queer performance in a public forum in my entire life.
Right. And that there's something so empowering and liberating about that, about seeing that as a queer youth.
(12:23):
Right. And it's so powerful to have queer representation in a public forum.
And you named it like you and I have talked about this before, Sorin, I think in season one,
where we have talked about the importance of representation, especially in media, and how that, how different that was for our different age groups growing up in the 80s and not having,
(12:49):
let me rephrase that, the only queer representation I saw growing up was the AIDS patient or the sex worker or the victim of crime.
And so how different that is. And I remember talking with you, Sorin, and your mom after that performance.
The glow on you talking about that performance is, it's an incredible thing.
(13:19):
For the long time, when I first started doing it, I almost had like an imposter syndrome about it because it was something that I created out of like need for like the community and myself.
Like it was a little selfish because I was missing that part of my balance. And then once COVID ended and it started to become real, where people were asking me to come in and talk to them and perform, I felt like an imposter.
(13:46):
And sometimes I still do because I guess I'm an actor. And so Priscilla is a part of me, but she's also a character that I play.
But all characters, like as an actor, when you're portraying a character, the goal is to make them real. The goal is to make them believable.
Relatable.
Relatable. And so it seems strange that Priscilla is like an extension of me because the character wouldn't be believable to anybody if she wasn't.
(14:17):
You're bringing up something that I think is so important for our listeners who may not know a whole lot about drag or drag culture.
This idea that this persona is a part of you. It's bigger than just slapping on a wig and makeup, right?
That you are giving a piece of yourself through Priscilla.
(14:41):
And I'm curious, Dominic, are there times where that boundary gets even more blurry for you between Dominic, the dad, the husband, the teacher, the professional, and Priscilla who's zany and blah, blah, blah.
Priscilla's big. When Priscilla walks into a space that you are performing in, Priscilla owns that space the minute that first high heel touches the floor.
(15:11):
And Dominic doesn't walk into spaces like that when Dominic's Dominic.
Yeah, I don't know. People always say like, Dominic is so funny or big and loud.
And I'm always like, I'm really not. Because people know me from the stage.
I usually play those characters and I always feel that I let people down sometimes when I'm just Dominic because they're expecting something more.
(15:39):
And like you said, Priscilla is big and loud.
And I don't think there's ever been a moment where I was concerned about the cross because, like I said, Priscilla still talks about her child.
Like, it's my child. So you're talking about her husband as my husband.
So I don't try to fool anybody. No one thinks I'm a woman.
(16:03):
Which is what I want. That's the whole artistic part of it.
And that's so important as well that there's an element of Priscilla that's a character.
But it's not that Priscilla has this completely fictional backstory.
Priscilla is you. And so a lot of your performances over the last couple of years as Priscilla have been sort of your story told as Priscilla.
(16:31):
And there's nothing fictional about that. And so I think that's also really important for folks to recognize is that at least your drag, it's still Dominic.
Like Dominic is still in there. You haven't created this completely made up story.
Like Priscilla just didn't drop from a stork in the sky, right?
(16:54):
Priscilla is you and you are Priscilla. I find that to be equal parts fascinating.
And it's lovely. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, one of the things I have done all of the performances that my local high school has put on and I wouldn't say that I'm a fantastic performer by any means.
(17:17):
But I think that getting into character in my experience is both an exercise in external empathy, discovering what it's like to be someone else.
But also, mainly, it is discovering a different aspect of you and then embracing it in order to become that performer.
(17:38):
Yeah. Right. I think like all of us have pretty much every part of human nature within us somewhere.
And when you're on stage, you just pick one of those things and embrace it. Right.
What's the favorite character you've ever played, Soren? Who's that been?
(17:59):
I think the most fun I've had playing a character was probably when I was playing a moon.
The moon, rather, in Adam's family, which is not a large role by any means.
But I just got to be just like drag. Actually, I got to be a very out there diva and steal the show without saying a single line. Right.
(18:26):
So I had to be very expressive and I had the long white gloves. Yeah. And I thought that it was really fun. Yeah. Yeah.
And it is just like drag that character, actually. Yeah. Because it is very much not me. Yeah. But also at the same time, I get to feel I got to feel powerful in a very effeminate character, which isn't typical of a feministic. Right. Yeah.
(18:56):
Priscilla's moon to a lot of people as well. Yeah. Yeah.
The moon does. The moon. Yeah. Yeah.
So I think that's so cool. That's amazing. Yeah.
Least scary. No, I don't know. I've never really had stage fright. I think the one time that I had stage fright, I broke out in hives the first show I ever did because I was in sixth grade. And I was I had I had I think the third largest role in the show for the middle school thing.
(19:28):
And I had to do a like Scottish accent, like a Shrek accent. And I forgot a few of my lines and I was just like tearing up backstage. Oh, really? Yeah.
But and you rebounded and you like you said you've done theater every year. Yeah. Through your school. Yeah. I at this point, I think it's not so much about the performance, but it's mainly because I'm like, gone myself into like a community.
(20:04):
And I like the culture of it. Right. And I think theater is a lot of the benefit of it is the community aspect. Right.
It's like a family. Yeah, it is like a family. Yeah, I'm curious. So I don't even know if you you might know this about each other.
Soren, you go to high school in the same high school that Dominic graduated from. And so, you know, thinking about because you did theater in high school as well, Dominic, didn't you?
(20:37):
I did one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Only one show in high school. Wow. Yeah, I didn't come into acting until really in college. I sang I sang in high school. I did show choir and I did the chorus. Yeah, those things.
But I didn't actually like take the stage for real. I would say for real. Like I wanted to do it. And it was fun until college. That's interesting. In high school, I did one show they did once upon a mattress.
(21:06):
That's the show that we're doing right now. That's great. Are you in it? Yeah, I know what part you are. Yeah, I'm King sex to us. No lies again.
Again, a scene stealer. So I feel like you're being a little typecast. I think that the King is hilarious. I think it's wild that your first show happens to be the show you're in right now. Yeah, that is that is kind of crazy.
(21:33):
I didn't even know that once upon a mattress was a show back in the day. I was like, careful. I thought that it would came out recently. That's better. Sorry.
Well, it did get revived. It's revived right now on Broadway. So really, I didn't. It was Sutton. Do you remember who you played in that? I played the minstrel. Okay, which is really just a singing role. Okay. Yeah. So that's kind of how that landed. It was in your comfort zone back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
(22:03):
You know, I for folks out there who have seen some of your performances around know your holiday special and the the other one woman show as Priscilla, you talk a lot in that show in those shows about your high school experience and sort of the how you discovered your
(22:32):
queerness. And I'm wondering if you as Priscilla think back about high school Dominic and what might have been different if there was a little bit more Priscilla that you brought with you through that high school career.
(22:53):
Yeah, that's a great question. I, I look back at my high school and being closeted and being scared and really trying to convince myself that I could change. Yeah, I didn't. I think that I put most of my energy in that. Yeah, not just not that.
(23:17):
Not that I knew I could change. It's a very fascinating. I don't know how I would have done it differently at that time back in the olden days. Yeah, I'm not sure how I would have done it differently. I surrounded myself with people that liked me that I had fun with that I'm still friends with.
I felt safe with them. Yeah. And I was safe with my family and the people that because that's the reality the more you hide, the more people see it. Yeah. So I think I just avoided people. Yeah, as much as I could. Yeah, until I left that space. Yeah, but it's so beautiful.
(23:59):
Looking at the way high schools are right now. There are so many wonderful clubs and students that are being proactive and loud and proud and if it if I could be in those in that world now as a high school student, I know I would be different. Yeah.
Yeah, I feel the same. It just goes to show like how much has changed and how much progress has been made because of people like you. And I'm so grateful. My son will be so grateful. Yeah. Yeah.
(24:32):
And we've talked about this a lot over. Yeah. Well, seasons now of you know, for me, I very intentionally did not do theater out of fear, a stereotype of stigma that if I did theater that would have been really too gay.
(24:56):
Right. And it would have shown a light that I wasn't willing able ready to have, which is fascinating. Right. Because if you look at the movies of our generation, right, all of the famous actors and stars who are making so much money that everybody loves are all straight men.
So like, but we were afraid to act right in that role because we might be thought of as gay. That's right. That was the stereotype that I had is, well, gay kids would do theater. So I don't want to be that gay kid.
(25:29):
So I'm not doing theater. And I mean, this is one of the examples where stereotypes are right.
Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's fascinating. Well, I think that comes down to the feeling that you have about the family, the community. You feel safe with these people. And that's and and not that you don't feel safe in a sports team, but there is a there is a different energy of emotional.
(25:56):
Absolutely. I think, especially for queer men, still there is in at least my experience. I don't feel safe on a sports team.
And obviously things are changing and will continue to change. But I would agree. Like theater does provide that sports like environment where you're you have a community you're working towards something together.
(26:20):
There's a team.
There is there's a team element. My avoidance of theater doesn't mean that I was hanging out on the football team or the basketball team like I was in the band like that felt middle ground, because in my high school, there were some theater kids in the band, and they were some athlete kids in the band.
(26:43):
So, and and my high school, which was Old Town, we've talked about this at Old Town High School during that, that those years, the band was widely it was good. We were a good band.
And we were in town anymore. We were.
I was the first chair trumpet.
For several years.
(27:04):
It helps that my stepfather was my music teacher, all through elementary school. But the band that bands room. That was one of my safe spaces. Yeah, same for me for the chorus. Yeah.
And so I think some of the parallels here is that representation matters, right, if, if I had seen more out, proud, queer actors, maybe I could have claimed some of those other spaces as well.
(27:36):
So representation matters and community matters and that sense of safety and family matters, and whether it's band whether it's chorus whether it's the arts, or whether it's the, the locker room after practice right like wherever, wherever a young person is accepted
(27:57):
and validated and safe.
We got to promote more that we've got to create more of those spaces.
I definitely chose to sing, because it allowed me I said it in my show that like I was able to, they leave me alone if he could sing I could sing pretty good.
I was great so they would leave me alone. Yes, I had this talent that they didn't have. Yeah.
(28:21):
Yeah, and that's I guess that's another really important point too is whether you can hit a hockey puck really well or shoot a three point really well play trumpet, act, saying really well.
There's a bubble of some kind of safety, because it's a distraction totally. It's a distraction.
Yeah, I think that talents put power into the hands of people who can't stand on their own in some context, right.
(28:52):
Or at least provide like social immunity as you were saying, you and I have talked a lot about how the idea of clicks have changed a lot of years and so in your with your peer group now your friends.
Magic is cool, like playing the card game magic is cool. Yeah, not necessarily.
(29:17):
You had a group of friends that you did magic tricks together. We would absolutely do a live.
I would love to see that.
I don't know if that would be cool.
I do love a good magic show. But this idea of talent right this idea and then this idea of clicks. And so, what we, Dominic and I may have perceived as not really a cool crowd.
(29:45):
But now kind of is the cool crowd and those social walls have kind of been torn down a bit. High school, because it was all like one community and there wasn't the internet to create like speciate communities had one hierarchy, right, and coolness was judged by everybody and you cared about what everybody thinks.
(30:09):
Whereas now in high school. I don't think most people care about what anybody outside of their immediate friend group things.
And I think that's really great because it allows kids to be far more expressive and feel far more comfortable being themselves in an environment where they are around a lot of peers that once they would be scrutinized by, but now don't really care right I can't even imagine a
(30:37):
person high school who didn't care what every other person was thinking about Chris. Yeah, that is such a foreign concept to me. What do you think sort of behind that like what do you think has created that shift over the years, I think, a difference in confidence.
I think it's the internet. Yeah, not necessarily a difference in confidence. I actually I think kids are probably have lower self esteem than they did, because now the high school is still a war zone, but the attackers aren't those around you, they're that which
(31:15):
resides within you. Yeah, right. But I think that through the internet, people have been exposed to a wide variety of experiences and individuals outside of their high school environment, I'd love to hear what you think about this dominant because you are also in the classroom
now. Yeah, different age groups but you're in the classroom. And yet, we know that rates of anxiety are higher than they've ever been before among young people depression higher than they've ever been before. And so while
(31:50):
40 or so years ago, I was living in a inside of this head that was doing all kinds of like, not always very successful things. I don't remember my peers at this high level of distress that we've talked about going on with your peers soren at times you know and so.
(32:18):
Well, I think that's because, well, my theory is it's because they are those people were allowed to show those emotions and those high heightened areas of their psyche, because it's acceptable for for it was it was acceptable for those.
People who were like heterosexual or conceived heterosexuals in high school in our time. They were had permission to act how they wanted right they were able to act on their emotions their, their attractions, they were able to act on their aggressive aggressive feelings
(32:52):
and not shun them or me on it right. But people in our community. Didn't try. They weren't allowed to. Yeah, and if for fear of being weak for fear of being feminine if it's a male for fear of being ridiculed for more than just a minute.
(33:13):
And that's what we're now going to be for the next four years right so I don't I don't think we were given permission to do this right, but I think that you are I think that the youth today are able to do that.
Yeah, and like I was saying and looping back to the importance of representation representation is permission. Yeah, examples of other people engaging in things and it being socially accepted is society permitting an activity.
(33:43):
Um, and, like, I think drag queens and the female trans community, at least in the very beginning, were sort of the first head like they were at the head of the queer liberation movement Oh right, 100%.
And I think this is perhaps means speculating, but I think that the additional power that being someone that is still you, but a little bit different than you and more powerful and more dominant than you.
(34:19):
And I think that being both a feminine being a drag queen allows you to more confidently advocate for yourself and those around you. Yeah, right. Yeah. And do you feel like that's allowed you to more effectively advocate and made you feel more powerful in public settings.
Yeah, as both actually. Well, I think like when I do a gig as Priscilla if there's like a person that I'm that's that I'm not enjoying for whatever reason, she will put her in put the person in its place and you know I have a problem with it.
(34:53):
Yeah, I don't know what top and it would do in a performance setting.
Yeah, I think that you speak representation I think that being a husband and having a child in today's world has made Dominic more aggressive and assertive, because I'm and, and open, because I want my son to see me be a sort of and confident and open.
(35:22):
So, I'm trying to think of a situation that it did but I do feel like Dominic speaks up more. Yeah, and I think it's because of that. Yeah, I don't know if I just, I'm, I'm pretty. I'm boring.
I'm not so far from I don't like, I'm not aggressive in in a lot of things but Priscilla is. Yeah. Well, I think that speaks a little bit to Soren's point and I'd love to get your perspective on this, Dominic around this, this notion of drag as power and drag as a, as a art form about reclaiming that
(36:02):
power and about as somebody who is has never publicly done drag.
Every drag person I know that word power is almost always referenced in use and I'd love to hear from you about what that power has looked like and was it was it day one was it Priscilla day one, or Priscilla day 101 that you felt that power.
(36:36):
I think for me and Priscilla, I knew that I was a different drag queen. I knew from the very beginning that I wasn't.
I wasn't, I wanted to show people that a drag queen doesn't have to be someone who is half naked and is doing as lip syncing and and death dropping. Yeah. Not that that's bad. I think that they can do that are amazing.
(37:06):
I knew that I wasn't going to be that person. Yeah, because I wanted. It's that representation thing but it's not just so that my community can see it but it's so that other people can see that that a drag queen isn't just that right yeah that a drag queen can just be funny and
romantic and heartfelt and an entertainer I like to think of like, I always people say like who do you, who do you feel like you are the most like as Priscilla, and I always say those it's like a combination of like Julia Childs yep.
(37:41):
Julia Childs and like Dame Edna, like, like they know that Julia Childs was a drag queen. Yeah. She was just a chef. But Dame Edna was just an entertainer and was funny and made commentary on life.
And people loved her. And, and people weren't afraid of her. Yeah. And so that's that's kind of what I went into Priscilla being like I don't want people to be afraid of Priscilla I want people to go up to her and say hi and enjoy her and.
(38:16):
No, yeah, I don't want to, yeah, does that make sense? 100%. Yeah. And this permission to laugh. Yeah, because I think my experience going to drag shows, yours as well as others all over the country.
And that there's a piece of queer joy there that I that we also talk about it's it's it's actually becoming one of my more prominent mantras in my own personal and in the professional work I do that we talk, I talk so much about depression and anxiety and the really
(38:49):
important stuff. And so it's sort of that parenting adage right and and teaching adage for everyone negative make sure you have this many positive.
And so I'm really trying to integrate that, that for every harsh reality. I also want to make sure we're giving three plus examples of queer joy and why joy is such an important essential life saving element of our resilience.
(39:19):
You give as Priscilla people permission to laugh and put their stuff aside for a couple hours and laugh at you and then laughing with you and at you they're also laughing at themselves.
And and laughing at the perspective of for that couple hour show. What was going on for me before I walked through that door is taking a backseat and it's permission. It's permission to laugh at and with because you absolutely create a space where you want people to laugh at you as much as they're laughing with you.
(39:56):
And I'm okay with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's so it's a it's a it's magic. I like.
Now I'm talking more about the trick right. It's absolutely. It's pure magic it's pure joy.
Every time I've walked out of a Priscilla event, whether it's a bingo brunch, a trivia night or a heartfelt show where you're just putting it all out there.
(40:26):
Every time I've left. I've left feeling joy that I might not have had coming in or been aware of and sometimes a winner and sometimes I've left a winner.
Bingo. Bingo. Yeah, yeah, I think the performances, both as performers and as people watching them. It is both escapism and allowing you to augment what is outside of that escape.
(40:58):
Right.
Like, I know that performances, especially freshman year doing drama was kind of my only requiem.
I don't know if I'm using that word right from my extremely negative emotional state. Right.
(41:23):
Are you saying it was a break? Yeah, it allowed you to take a break. Like take a break from the heavy. You were able to put aside the heavy head stuff just for a little bit and be someone else.
Yeah, something else.
Yeah. So true. Yeah, I, you know, I,
(41:45):
I love it. And I know that we sadly live in a world today where there is so much.
I hate, I don't know even know what other word to use for it coming out at all of us in all of the identities that we have.
And so as we kind of start thinking about wrapping up today, Dominic, I'd love to just hear from you. What do you want listeners to know about drag? What do you want them to take away from this podcast? Maybe as something that you haven't thought of before?
(42:24):
Well, I think like I speak a lot about living in living for drag and I want people to understand that drag isn't necessarily
a man and woman's clothing or a woman and men's clothing, but there's drag in everyone and it just looks different.
It's that confidence to do something that you don't think you can do in your normal skin. And so, you know, drag can be political, it can be emotional, it can be performance, it can be theater.
(42:57):
I like to think of it like people who say that they're an athlete or they're athletic. And that is a range, right? You can be, how are you athletic? You can be a D1 athlete, you could be a professional football player, or you could be the person that walks their dog every Sunday.
Briskly. Yep. Yep. So being an athlete can be different no matter what. And so drag is different for everyone and it's different for every individual, but it's also different for every drag queen.
(43:24):
Yeah. And there are lots in this community that are doing really wonderful events and nights and representation.
And I just want people to enjoy themselves when they see a drag queen because they're really just there for joy.
(43:45):
For joy. Yeah. I love that. I love that. There's one other thing I'm going to ask you to do.
At the end of a lot of almost all of your shows, you have a saying that you offer your audiences. And I'd love for you to share that saying and maybe let us know what that has meant. That saying has meant for you.
(44:11):
Yeah, I think growing up, I've always been a person that wants to help others and that others usually come before us. And I think that's part of our community. I think that people in our community really just want other people to be happy and they also think about them other people more than I think about themselves.
Or maybe it's just that I'm a Pisces. And that's what I do. But there was just a moment when I created Priscilla that I realized I'd given so much to other people that I realized I hadn't saved a lot for myself.
(44:42):
And so I just started saying, save a little love for yourself. Don't you dare give it all away. Because there's got to be a piece that keeps your life burning. There's got to be a piece that keeps you the inspiration team going on for another day.
Thank you for that. Thank you so much. Thank you. This has been lovely. So thank you to our listeners for tuning in today. I'm just like, I'm processing so much. It's probably a little leftover birthday candles performance last night. But I thank you, Dominic, so much.
(45:20):
I want to encourage our listeners to follow some of your advice and make sure that they are doing a little something extra for themselves in the coming days. And we don't ever give our listeners homework.
And I feel like I have homework I want to give our listeners about making sure that they're filling their own cup and keeping a little bit in their cup. That filling it doesn't mean you fill it so you can empty it all out and then start with an empty cup again.
(45:51):
So keep a little bit of that self love in that cup and to find what gives you power, find what makes you joyful, find what makes you confident, and do a whole lot more of that as well.
Yeah. Any last words, Soren? Lean in to what makes you you. You'll never face backlash from someone that is deserving of making commentary for being yourself.
(46:25):
Yeah. And I think that drag shows that I think that this show has showed that. And I am just so excited to see how queer media progresses as I get older and my generation steps onto the stage even more.
(46:48):
And we've learned so much from all of the older queer members of the community. Senior. The senior member. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I really I'm dragging you guys through the mess.
No pun intended. I think I look good. I think you look great. I think you look great. Well, thank you all. This has been another episode of the inspired insights podcast. I am Chris McGlallen.
(47:10):
I'm Soren Peterson. Thank you, Dominic Varney. And until next time, take care. Have a lovely rest of your week.
The inspired insights podcast has been brought to you by inspired consulting group LLC.
Edited and produced by Amanda Seidel and Derek Carter.
Marketing support for the inspired insights podcast by Elizabeth Keenan. Music by Derek Carter.
Please visit www.inspiredcg.com to learn more. Copyrights 2024. All rights reserved.
The Inspired Insights podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered health advice.
(00:06):
This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice.
Please note that this podcast may contain discussions on sensitive topics such as mental illness, suicide, and substance use.
If you are experiencing a behavioral health crisis or need support, please contact the 9-8-8 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling 9-8-8 or visiting www.988-lifeline.org.
(00:46):
Hello everybody! Welcome back to this week's episode of the Inspired Insights podcast with Soren Peterson, Chris McLaughlin, and today we have a lovely guest.
(01:07):
A lovely celebrity, if you will. Would you like to introduce yourself?
Yeah, my name is Dominic Barney and I'm an actor, director, choreographer in the area.
Some of you might know me by my alter ego, which is Priscilla Poppy-Gox.
Which I cannot wait to start talking more about.
(01:28):
Yes, me too.
And I also work at the University of Maine. I'm a teacher and advisor there too.
Dominic, thanks so much for coming. Hi Soren, by the way.
Hi!
Thanks for starting the episode off.
Thanks for being here. I'm super excited to get into some conversations.
For our listeners, in full transparency, Dominic and I have been friends for years now.
(01:52):
And this is an episode that I've really been excited and so appreciative of you kind of stepping through the friend boundary and coming into the podcast zone. So thank you for being here.
Thank you, I feel honored.
Thank you.
Soren, how's your week been, by the way?
My week has been really swell. I've been, actually my friends and I have been really getting into Magic the Gathering.
(02:18):
I wondered if you were going to bring this in.
Because it's just so fun. And I think it's really pleasant and it's reinvigorated my excitement for games and sort of like non-intellectual topics, right?
Yeah, take a break from some of the...
(02:39):
I spend all my time in the miasma of academia or like books that I'm reading. And I think Magic with my Friends is just a lovely break from that, where I get to take my head and breathe a little, take my head above water.
And how important that is.
Yes.
Which brings me to thinking about Inspired Insights for the week. Do you want to go first? Do you want me to go first?
(03:04):
Yeah, I can go first.
Okay.
So my inspired insight of the week is inspired by the first few chapters of Crime and Punishment, which I just started reading.
And in that I see the main character isolate more and more. And as he isolates, he grows a greater loathing for people as a whole.
(03:29):
And it's just sort of this positive feedback loop leading to ultimate isolation, right?
Yeah.
And that's also the case for positive emotions as well. And it shows me that although we have control over our emotions, our emotions so quickly build on themselves, spiral and control us, right?
(03:52):
Yeah.
So that's my inspired insight of the week.
That's a good one.
Dominic, would you let's a good one go?
Well, that just made me think about feelings. And I have a five year old named CJ. And he, we just read a story called The Boy with Big Big Feelings.
And I know that story.
It's beautiful. And it's a moment of reflection on him. Like, I want to make sure that I'm raising a child that is okay being emotional. Like he's emotional child.
(04:23):
And this inspired insight just made me think about the like, all days ago, we had breakfast and I'm not always an amazing parent. So I gave him yogurt and I offered him what the other thing would be.
And I said, would you like a waffle pancake, a pop tart? And he was like, I want a pop tart. And I was like, of course you do.
(04:45):
So he went off and I went to the cover to get a pop tart and we were out of pop tarts.
Yeah, I know.
Wow.
So all of our listeners just went, my heart dropped.
Yeah.
Well, so did he.
So we gave her on the corner and I was like, hey, buddy, we don't have any pop tarts. And he's like, oh, and I was like, I'm gonna make you a waffle. Is that okay? And he's like, yeah, that's okay.
(05:06):
And then so I was making the waffle and all of a sudden I heard the piano and the other room start playing and he was just playing the piano. And I was like, oh, that's really cute.
And then out of nowhere, I heard him singing.
No pop tarts for me today. No pop tarts at all. And it was like, perfect. I was like, oh, I'm so sorry you don't have a pop tart. But I was like, we wouldn't have had this moment.
(05:29):
Yeah.
If I had a pop tart. So he's like his own Billy Joel moment.
Yeah. Has that been something that you have worked with CJ on, like CJ on to like direct towards music or just did that on his own?
No, we just did it on his own.
That is so cool.
Cool. Oh, so my inspired insight is going to keep this feelings trend going. So thanks for kicking that off, Soren.
(05:55):
Yeah, Derek and I went and saw a show at Penobscot Theatre last night, their first show of this new season, which Inspired Consulting Group is a sponsor of, goes Penobscot Theatre.
Thank you for allowing me to sponsor your season.
And so we went to the first show, which was a play called Birthday Candles. And it probably is one of the most beautiful stories I've ever seen play out on a stage. And the fact that this is happening in Bangor, Maine just blew me away.
(06:32):
I went through all the feelings. It was like 90 ish minutes of every single feeling. And I'm going to call my husband out a little bit. When we left the theater, you know, that silence of people kind of processing kind of a heavy ish performance.
(06:52):
And Derek was just like, I didn't even realize I was crying. And I'm crying. And I was like, Oh, I realized I was crying. Like all of the feelings. But it's just for me, so here's where the insight comes in, right?
The importance of supporting the arts and the importance of supporting local theater, especially when it's this good, supporting it, and the importance of these public displays of emotion that just model for the rest of the world as you're doing with CJ, that it is absolutely not just okay, but essential.
(07:32):
Totally.
That we experience the full range of all the emotions that as humans we're able to experience.
Yeah. What I see in both of you guys's inspired insight is that arts primary utility is to be as a incarnation of emotions.
(07:52):
Yeah.
It is a raw expression of a emotional sensation and can lead to an outlet and an expression of within other people, those emotions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I know that you, Dominic, are a performer. And I was wondering how drag and just you have used theater in general as an outlet and expression for your emotions or how you've used it to develop your own emotional state, right?
(08:25):
Great question.
Yeah. I always look at my life in thirds, which is weird. I've always believed that in order for my emotions to be neutral, that there were three things that needed to be in balance.
And so one was that I knew that I wanted to be teaching. I wanted to be inspiring and changing the world in a classroom setting. And that's something professionally that I do and that I went to school for.
(08:51):
And then there was a part of my being that needed to be fulfilled at the theater level. I needed to be performing and writing and artistically doing something and then balancing that out with my own personal family.
Yeah.
And I always found that the family being the center of it, that if one of those other things was off, then the family was off.
(09:13):
So if I was completely immersed in work teaching and I didn't have an artistic balance there, that my family could tell that something was off.
And vice versa, if I was only doing theater and not really focusing on the teaching, then my family felt that too.
Yeah.
So that's like how I maintain my life, which is exhausting.
(09:38):
Yeah.
But during COVID, that was really tricky.
Yeah.
Because both of the things that I do to balance my life were really non-existent.
Yeah.
That's really kind of where my drag journey started was during COVID.
Yeah. Well, let's just get right into it. Tell us a little bit about her. Tell us about Priscilla.
(10:01):
Priscilla is full of sass with a little bit of class. Yeah. I was looking for a way to connect during COVID, being at home.
And I work with the Penobscot Theater. That's not a secret. And the director at the time was looking for something that would connect the community.
(10:26):
And so I said, why don't we do like a talk show on Zoom?
And I was going to do it as Dominic. And I don't know, somewhere along the line, I did a video playing Frankenfurter during COVID and people really enjoyed it.
Yeah.
So like, I was like, why don't I do it in drag? And she was like, okay.
So I just started this talk show called Dition in Drag, where I talked to people all over the community about theater and arts.
(10:52):
And about like five or six episodes in, I was just had the feeling that I need to like name her. I need to name this persona.
And so there's a history around Priscilla Poppycox. And so, yeah, she kind of came.
So as somebody who watched all of your videos, you also got, what was also really fun is you would make cocktails, and you would invite your viewers to make those cocktails and sort of have this dynamic of having a little happy hour together and just kind of Dition in Drag.
(11:30):
Yeah, it was super fun.
I've told you this before, mission accomplished with that whole piece around connecting and community.
Like, it brought so much joy to so many people, not just in this area, but all over.
Yeah, I know that, like, my experiences being in quite a rural area, I haven't had a lot of queer influences outside of the internet, right?
(11:58):
And in freshman year, I went to go see your Christmas Priscilla Poppycox show. And I found it really inspiring.
I really, really liked it because it was the first time I had seen like a queer performance in a public forum in my entire life.
Right. And that there's something so empowering and liberating about that, about seeing that as a queer youth.
(12:23):
Right. And it's so powerful to have queer representation in a public forum.
And you named it like you and I have talked about this before, Sorin, I think in season one,
where we have talked about the importance of representation, especially in media, and how that, how different that was for our different age groups growing up in the 80s and not having,
(12:49):
let me rephrase that, the only queer representation I saw growing up was the AIDS patient or the sex worker or the victim of crime.
And so how different that is. And I remember talking with you, Sorin, and your mom after that performance.
The glow on you talking about that performance is, it's an incredible thing.
(13:19):
For the long time, when I first started doing it, I almost had like an imposter syndrome about it because it was something that I created out of like need for like the community and myself.
Like it was a little selfish because I was missing that part of my balance. And then once COVID ended and it started to become real, where people were asking me to come in and talk to them and perform, I felt like an imposter.
(13:46):
And sometimes I still do because I guess I'm an actor. And so Priscilla is a part of me, but she's also a character that I play.
But all characters, like as an actor, when you're portraying a character, the goal is to make them real. The goal is to make them believable.
Relatable.
Relatable. And so it seems strange that Priscilla is like an extension of me because the character wouldn't be believable to anybody if she wasn't.
(14:17):
You're bringing up something that I think is so important for our listeners who may not know a whole lot about drag or drag culture.
This idea that this persona is a part of you. It's bigger than just slapping on a wig and makeup, right?
That you are giving a piece of yourself through Priscilla.
(14:41):
And I'm curious, Dominic, are there times where that boundary gets even more blurry for you between Dominic, the dad, the husband, the teacher, the professional, and Priscilla who's zany and blah, blah, blah.
Priscilla's big. When Priscilla walks into a space that you are performing in, Priscilla owns that space the minute that first high heel touches the floor.
(15:11):
And Dominic doesn't walk into spaces like that when Dominic's Dominic.
Yeah, I don't know. People always say like, Dominic is so funny or big and loud.
And I'm always like, I'm really not. Because people know me from the stage.
I usually play those characters and I always feel that I let people down sometimes when I'm just Dominic because they're expecting something more.
(15:39):
And like you said, Priscilla is big and loud.
And I don't think there's ever been a moment where I was concerned about the cross because, like I said, Priscilla still talks about her child.
Like, it's my child. So you're talking about her husband as my husband.
So I don't try to fool anybody. No one thinks I'm a woman.
(16:03):
Which is what I want. That's the whole artistic part of it.
And that's so important as well that there's an element of Priscilla that's a character.
But it's not that Priscilla has this completely fictional backstory.
Priscilla is you. And so a lot of your performances over the last couple of years as Priscilla have been sort of your story told as Priscilla.
(16:31):
And there's nothing fictional about that. And so I think that's also really important for folks to recognize is that at least your drag, it's still Dominic.
Like Dominic is still in there. You haven't created this completely made up story.
Like Priscilla just didn't drop from a stork in the sky, right?
(16:54):
Priscilla is you and you are Priscilla. I find that to be equal parts fascinating.
And it's lovely. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, one of the things I have done all of the performances that my local high school has put on and I wouldn't say that I'm a fantastic performer by any means.
(17:17):
But I think that getting into character in my experience is both an exercise in external empathy, discovering what it's like to be someone else.
But also, mainly, it is discovering a different aspect of you and then embracing it in order to become that performer.
(17:38):
Yeah. Right. I think like all of us have pretty much every part of human nature within us somewhere.
And when you're on stage, you just pick one of those things and embrace it. Right.
What's the favorite character you've ever played, Soren? Who's that been?
(17:59):
I think the most fun I've had playing a character was probably when I was playing a moon.
The moon, rather, in Adam's family, which is not a large role by any means.
But I just got to be just like drag. Actually, I got to be a very out there diva and steal the show without saying a single line. Right.
(18:26):
So I had to be very expressive and I had the long white gloves. Yeah. And I thought that it was really fun. Yeah. Yeah.
And it is just like drag that character, actually. Yeah. Because it is very much not me. Yeah. But also at the same time, I get to feel I got to feel powerful in a very effeminate character, which isn't typical of a feministic. Right. Yeah.
(18:56):
Priscilla's moon to a lot of people as well. Yeah. Yeah.
The moon does. The moon. Yeah. Yeah.
So I think that's so cool. That's amazing. Yeah.
Least scary. No, I don't know. I've never really had stage fright. I think the one time that I had stage fright, I broke out in hives the first show I ever did because I was in sixth grade. And I was I had I had I think the third largest role in the show for the middle school thing.
(19:28):
And I had to do a like Scottish accent, like a Shrek accent. And I forgot a few of my lines and I was just like tearing up backstage. Oh, really? Yeah.
But and you rebounded and you like you said you've done theater every year. Yeah. Through your school. Yeah. I at this point, I think it's not so much about the performance, but it's mainly because I'm like, gone myself into like a community.
(20:04):
And I like the culture of it. Right. And I think theater is a lot of the benefit of it is the community aspect. Right.
It's like a family. Yeah, it is like a family. Yeah, I'm curious. So I don't even know if you you might know this about each other.
Soren, you go to high school in the same high school that Dominic graduated from. And so, you know, thinking about because you did theater in high school as well, Dominic, didn't you?
(20:37):
I did one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Only one show in high school. Wow. Yeah, I didn't come into acting until really in college. I sang I sang in high school. I did show choir and I did the chorus. Yeah, those things.
But I didn't actually like take the stage for real. I would say for real. Like I wanted to do it. And it was fun until college. That's interesting. In high school, I did one show they did once upon a mattress.
(21:06):
That's the show that we're doing right now. That's great. Are you in it? Yeah, I know what part you are. Yeah, I'm King sex to us. No lies again.
Again, a scene stealer. So I feel like you're being a little typecast. I think that the King is hilarious. I think it's wild that your first show happens to be the show you're in right now. Yeah, that is that is kind of crazy.
(21:33):
I didn't even know that once upon a mattress was a show back in the day. I was like, careful. I thought that it would came out recently. That's better. Sorry.
Well, it did get revived. It's revived right now on Broadway. So really, I didn't. It was Sutton. Do you remember who you played in that? I played the minstrel. Okay, which is really just a singing role. Okay. Yeah. So that's kind of how that landed. It was in your comfort zone back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
(22:03):
You know, I for folks out there who have seen some of your performances around know your holiday special and the the other one woman show as Priscilla, you talk a lot in that show in those shows about your high school experience and sort of the how you discovered your
(22:32):
queerness. And I'm wondering if you as Priscilla think back about high school Dominic and what might have been different if there was a little bit more Priscilla that you brought with you through that high school career.
(22:53):
Yeah, that's a great question. I, I look back at my high school and being closeted and being scared and really trying to convince myself that I could change. Yeah, I didn't. I think that I put most of my energy in that. Yeah, not just not that.
(23:17):
Not that I knew I could change. It's a very fascinating. I don't know how I would have done it differently at that time back in the olden days. Yeah, I'm not sure how I would have done it differently. I surrounded myself with people that liked me that I had fun with that I'm still friends with.
I felt safe with them. Yeah. And I was safe with my family and the people that because that's the reality the more you hide, the more people see it. Yeah. So I think I just avoided people. Yeah, as much as I could. Yeah, until I left that space. Yeah, but it's so beautiful.
(23:59):
Looking at the way high schools are right now. There are so many wonderful clubs and students that are being proactive and loud and proud and if it if I could be in those in that world now as a high school student, I know I would be different. Yeah.
Yeah, I feel the same. It just goes to show like how much has changed and how much progress has been made because of people like you. And I'm so grateful. My son will be so grateful. Yeah. Yeah.
(24:32):
And we've talked about this a lot over. Yeah. Well, seasons now of you know, for me, I very intentionally did not do theater out of fear, a stereotype of stigma that if I did theater that would have been really too gay.
(24:56):
Right. And it would have shown a light that I wasn't willing able ready to have, which is fascinating. Right. Because if you look at the movies of our generation, right, all of the famous actors and stars who are making so much money that everybody loves are all straight men.
So like, but we were afraid to act right in that role because we might be thought of as gay. That's right. That was the stereotype that I had is, well, gay kids would do theater. So I don't want to be that gay kid.
(25:29):
So I'm not doing theater. And I mean, this is one of the examples where stereotypes are right.
Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's fascinating. Well, I think that comes down to the feeling that you have about the family, the community. You feel safe with these people. And that's and and not that you don't feel safe in a sports team, but there is a there is a different energy of emotional.
(25:56):
Absolutely. I think, especially for queer men, still there is in at least my experience. I don't feel safe on a sports team.
And obviously things are changing and will continue to change. But I would agree. Like theater does provide that sports like environment where you're you have a community you're working towards something together.
(26:20):
There's a team.
There is there's a team element. My avoidance of theater doesn't mean that I was hanging out on the football team or the basketball team like I was in the band like that felt middle ground, because in my high school, there were some theater kids in the band, and they were some athlete kids in the band.
(26:43):
So, and and my high school, which was Old Town, we've talked about this at Old Town High School during that, that those years, the band was widely it was good. We were a good band.
And we were in town anymore. We were.
I was the first chair trumpet.
For several years.
(27:04):
It helps that my stepfather was my music teacher, all through elementary school. But the band that bands room. That was one of my safe spaces. Yeah, same for me for the chorus. Yeah.
And so I think some of the parallels here is that representation matters, right, if, if I had seen more out, proud, queer actors, maybe I could have claimed some of those other spaces as well.
(27:36):
So representation matters and community matters and that sense of safety and family matters, and whether it's band whether it's chorus whether it's the arts, or whether it's the, the locker room after practice right like wherever, wherever a young person is accepted
(27:57):
and validated and safe.
We got to promote more that we've got to create more of those spaces.
I definitely chose to sing, because it allowed me I said it in my show that like I was able to, they leave me alone if he could sing I could sing pretty good.
I was great so they would leave me alone. Yes, I had this talent that they didn't have. Yeah.
(28:21):
Yeah, and that's I guess that's another really important point too is whether you can hit a hockey puck really well or shoot a three point really well play trumpet, act, saying really well.
There's a bubble of some kind of safety, because it's a distraction totally. It's a distraction.
Yeah, I think that talents put power into the hands of people who can't stand on their own in some context, right.
(28:52):
Or at least provide like social immunity as you were saying, you and I have talked a lot about how the idea of clicks have changed a lot of years and so in your with your peer group now your friends.
Magic is cool, like playing the card game magic is cool. Yeah, not necessarily.
(29:17):
You had a group of friends that you did magic tricks together. We would absolutely do a live.
I would love to see that.
I don't know if that would be cool.
I do love a good magic show. But this idea of talent right this idea and then this idea of clicks. And so, what we, Dominic and I may have perceived as not really a cool crowd.
(29:45):
But now kind of is the cool crowd and those social walls have kind of been torn down a bit. High school, because it was all like one community and there wasn't the internet to create like speciate communities had one hierarchy, right, and coolness was judged by everybody and you cared about what everybody thinks.
(30:09):
Whereas now in high school. I don't think most people care about what anybody outside of their immediate friend group things.
And I think that's really great because it allows kids to be far more expressive and feel far more comfortable being themselves in an environment where they are around a lot of peers that once they would be scrutinized by, but now don't really care right I can't even imagine a
(30:37):
person high school who didn't care what every other person was thinking about Chris. Yeah, that is such a foreign concept to me. What do you think sort of behind that like what do you think has created that shift over the years, I think, a difference in confidence.
I think it's the internet. Yeah, not necessarily a difference in confidence. I actually I think kids are probably have lower self esteem than they did, because now the high school is still a war zone, but the attackers aren't those around you, they're that which
(31:15):
resides within you. Yeah, right. But I think that through the internet, people have been exposed to a wide variety of experiences and individuals outside of their high school environment, I'd love to hear what you think about this dominant because you are also in the classroom
now. Yeah, different age groups but you're in the classroom. And yet, we know that rates of anxiety are higher than they've ever been before among young people depression higher than they've ever been before. And so while
(31:50):
40 or so years ago, I was living in a inside of this head that was doing all kinds of like, not always very successful things. I don't remember my peers at this high level of distress that we've talked about going on with your peers soren at times you know and so.
(32:18):
Well, I think that's because, well, my theory is it's because they are those people were allowed to show those emotions and those high heightened areas of their psyche, because it's acceptable for for it was it was acceptable for those.
People who were like heterosexual or conceived heterosexuals in high school in our time. They were had permission to act how they wanted right they were able to act on their emotions their, their attractions, they were able to act on their aggressive aggressive feelings
(32:52):
and not shun them or me on it right. But people in our community. Didn't try. They weren't allowed to. Yeah, and if for fear of being weak for fear of being feminine if it's a male for fear of being ridiculed for more than just a minute.
(33:13):
And that's what we're now going to be for the next four years right so I don't I don't think we were given permission to do this right, but I think that you are I think that the youth today are able to do that.
Yeah, and like I was saying and looping back to the importance of representation representation is permission. Yeah, examples of other people engaging in things and it being socially accepted is society permitting an activity.
(33:43):
Um, and, like, I think drag queens and the female trans community, at least in the very beginning, were sort of the first head like they were at the head of the queer liberation movement Oh right, 100%.
And I think this is perhaps means speculating, but I think that the additional power that being someone that is still you, but a little bit different than you and more powerful and more dominant than you.
(34:19):
And I think that being both a feminine being a drag queen allows you to more confidently advocate for yourself and those around you. Yeah, right. Yeah. And do you feel like that's allowed you to more effectively advocate and made you feel more powerful in public settings.
Yeah, as both actually. Well, I think like when I do a gig as Priscilla if there's like a person that I'm that's that I'm not enjoying for whatever reason, she will put her in put the person in its place and you know I have a problem with it.
(34:53):
Yeah, I don't know what top and it would do in a performance setting.
Yeah, I think that you speak representation I think that being a husband and having a child in today's world has made Dominic more aggressive and assertive, because I'm and, and open, because I want my son to see me be a sort of and confident and open.
(35:22):
So, I'm trying to think of a situation that it did but I do feel like Dominic speaks up more. Yeah, and I think it's because of that. Yeah, I don't know if I just, I'm, I'm pretty. I'm boring.
I'm not so far from I don't like, I'm not aggressive in in a lot of things but Priscilla is. Yeah. Well, I think that speaks a little bit to Soren's point and I'd love to get your perspective on this, Dominic around this, this notion of drag as power and drag as a, as a art form about reclaiming that
(36:02):
power and about as somebody who is has never publicly done drag.
Every drag person I know that word power is almost always referenced in use and I'd love to hear from you about what that power has looked like and was it was it day one was it Priscilla day one, or Priscilla day 101 that you felt that power.
(36:36):
I think for me and Priscilla, I knew that I was a different drag queen. I knew from the very beginning that I wasn't.
I wasn't, I wanted to show people that a drag queen doesn't have to be someone who is half naked and is doing as lip syncing and and death dropping. Yeah. Not that that's bad. I think that they can do that are amazing.
(37:06):
I knew that I wasn't going to be that person. Yeah, because I wanted. It's that representation thing but it's not just so that my community can see it but it's so that other people can see that that a drag queen isn't just that right yeah that a drag queen can just be funny and
romantic and heartfelt and an entertainer I like to think of like, I always people say like who do you, who do you feel like you are the most like as Priscilla, and I always say those it's like a combination of like Julia Childs yep.
(37:41):
Julia Childs and like Dame Edna, like, like they know that Julia Childs was a drag queen. Yeah. She was just a chef. But Dame Edna was just an entertainer and was funny and made commentary on life.
And people loved her. And, and people weren't afraid of her. Yeah. And so that's that's kind of what I went into Priscilla being like I don't want people to be afraid of Priscilla I want people to go up to her and say hi and enjoy her and.
(38:16):
No, yeah, I don't want to, yeah, does that make sense? 100%. Yeah. And this permission to laugh. Yeah, because I think my experience going to drag shows, yours as well as others all over the country.
And that there's a piece of queer joy there that I that we also talk about it's it's it's actually becoming one of my more prominent mantras in my own personal and in the professional work I do that we talk, I talk so much about depression and anxiety and the really
(38:49):
important stuff. And so it's sort of that parenting adage right and and teaching adage for everyone negative make sure you have this many positive.
And so I'm really trying to integrate that, that for every harsh reality. I also want to make sure we're giving three plus examples of queer joy and why joy is such an important essential life saving element of our resilience.
(39:19):
You give as Priscilla people permission to laugh and put their stuff aside for a couple hours and laugh at you and then laughing with you and at you they're also laughing at themselves.
And and laughing at the perspective of for that couple hour show. What was going on for me before I walked through that door is taking a backseat and it's permission. It's permission to laugh at and with because you absolutely create a space where you want people to laugh at you as much as they're laughing with you.
(39:56):
And I'm okay with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's so it's a it's a it's magic. I like.
Now I'm talking more about the trick right. It's absolutely. It's pure magic it's pure joy.
Every time I've walked out of a Priscilla event, whether it's a bingo brunch, a trivia night or a heartfelt show where you're just putting it all out there.
(40:26):
Every time I've left. I've left feeling joy that I might not have had coming in or been aware of and sometimes a winner and sometimes I've left a winner.
Bingo. Bingo. Yeah, yeah, I think the performances, both as performers and as people watching them. It is both escapism and allowing you to augment what is outside of that escape.
(40:58):
Right.
Like, I know that performances, especially freshman year doing drama was kind of my only requiem.
I don't know if I'm using that word right from my extremely negative emotional state. Right.
(41:23):
Are you saying it was a break? Yeah, it allowed you to take a break. Like take a break from the heavy. You were able to put aside the heavy head stuff just for a little bit and be someone else.
Yeah, something else.
Yeah. So true. Yeah, I, you know, I,
(41:45):
I love it. And I know that we sadly live in a world today where there is so much.
I hate, I don't know even know what other word to use for it coming out at all of us in all of the identities that we have.
And so as we kind of start thinking about wrapping up today, Dominic, I'd love to just hear from you. What do you want listeners to know about drag? What do you want them to take away from this podcast? Maybe as something that you haven't thought of before?
(42:24):
Well, I think like I speak a lot about living in living for drag and I want people to understand that drag isn't necessarily
a man and woman's clothing or a woman and men's clothing, but there's drag in everyone and it just looks different.
It's that confidence to do something that you don't think you can do in your normal skin. And so, you know, drag can be political, it can be emotional, it can be performance, it can be theater.
(42:57):
I like to think of it like people who say that they're an athlete or they're athletic. And that is a range, right? You can be, how are you athletic? You can be a D1 athlete, you could be a professional football player, or you could be the person that walks their dog every Sunday.
Briskly. Yep. Yep. So being an athlete can be different no matter what. And so drag is different for everyone and it's different for every individual, but it's also different for every drag queen.
(43:24):
Yeah. And there are lots in this community that are doing really wonderful events and nights and representation.
And I just want people to enjoy themselves when they see a drag queen because they're really just there for joy.
(43:45):
For joy. Yeah. I love that. I love that. There's one other thing I'm going to ask you to do.
At the end of a lot of almost all of your shows, you have a saying that you offer your audiences. And I'd love for you to share that saying and maybe let us know what that has meant. That saying has meant for you.
(44:11):
Yeah, I think growing up, I've always been a person that wants to help others and that others usually come before us. And I think that's part of our community. I think that people in our community really just want other people to be happy and they also think about them other people more than I think about themselves.
Or maybe it's just that I'm a Pisces. And that's what I do. But there was just a moment when I created Priscilla that I realized I'd given so much to other people that I realized I hadn't saved a lot for myself.
(44:42):
And so I just started saying, save a little love for yourself. Don't you dare give it all away. Because there's got to be a piece that keeps your life burning. There's got to be a piece that keeps you the inspiration team going on for another day.
Thank you for that. Thank you so much. Thank you. This has been lovely. So thank you to our listeners for tuning in today. I'm just like, I'm processing so much. It's probably a little leftover birthday candles performance last night. But I thank you, Dominic, so much.
(45:20):
I want to encourage our listeners to follow some of your advice and make sure that they are doing a little something extra for themselves in the coming days. And we don't ever give our listeners homework.
And I feel like I have homework I want to give our listeners about making sure that they're filling their own cup and keeping a little bit in their cup. That filling it doesn't mean you fill it so you can empty it all out and then start with an empty cup again.
(45:51):
So keep a little bit of that self love in that cup and to find what gives you power, find what makes you joyful, find what makes you confident, and do a whole lot more of that as well.
Yeah. Any last words, Soren? Lean in to what makes you you. You'll never face backlash from someone that is deserving of making commentary for being yourself.
(46:25):
Yeah. And I think that drag shows that I think that this show has showed that. And I am just so excited to see how queer media progresses as I get older and my generation steps onto the stage even more.
(46:48):
And we've learned so much from all of the older queer members of the community. Senior. The senior member. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I really I'm dragging you guys through the mess.
No pun intended. I think I look good. I think you look great. I think you look great. Well, thank you all. This has been another episode of the inspired insights podcast. I am Chris McGlallen.
(47:10):
I'm Soren Peterson. Thank you, Dominic Varney. And until next time, take care. Have a lovely rest of your week.
The inspired insights podcast has been brought to you by inspired consulting group LLC.
Edited and produced by Amanda Seidel and Derek Carter.
Marketing support for the inspired insights podcast by Elizabeth Keenan. Music by Derek Carter.
Please visit www.inspiredcg.com to learn more. Copyrights 2024. All rights reserved.
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