July 17, 2023 • 36 mins
In this episode of the Revolutionary Freedom podcast, host Adam Kasix interviews Allison Hare, a former sales executive turned lifestyle entrepreneur. Allison shares her journey of leaving her corporate job and starting her podcast, Late Learner, which focuses on helping busy professional women reconnect with their true selves.
She emphasizes the importance of finding activities that light you up and nourish your soul. Allison encourages listeners to unlearn societal conditioning and make choices that align with their own voices. She suggests simple actions to promote personal growth.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Adam (00:00):
welcome, revolutionary Freedom.
Today we have a powerhouse onthe rise and getting stronger.
Allison Hare is with us.
She's a former sales executiveturned lifestyle entrepreneur.
She's the host of theaward-winning top 1.5% globally
ranked podcast late learner andfounded the effective collective
membership designed for highperforming mothers.
(00:22):
That are ready for a newchapter.
I know the moms loverevolutionary freedom, so we're
gonna give it to'em.
Allison helps busy professionalwomen reconnect with their most
alive selves.
Her podcast Late Learner is forthe person who almost told
herself, it's too late, Alison,let's kick some ass today.
(00:43):
How are you?
Allison (00:44):
I'm excited to be here, Adam.
Thank you.
Adam (00:47):
Yes, me too.
We ha we share our coachingmastermind and I'm telling you,
when you up the level of theenergy of those you associate in
the room, you find yourselfrising.
And I feel like I'm abeneficiary of that today as
well,
Allison (01:03):
Me too.
We're linking arms.
We're linking arms in thisjourney.
Adam (01:08):
Absolutely.
We're in the shore.
David Goggin's.
He talks about getting wet andsandy and SEAL training and
that's, I did that with my kidalready this week too.
It's, that is there's, it's apowerful place to be when you're
linked in common goal.
Allison (01:19):
Yeah.
Adam (01:20):
Alright.
Busy professional women thathave almost believed the lie
that it's too late.
Maybe she's forgotten whereshe's at in life.
I help people recover their trueidentity, get back to their
authenticity, live holisticallyaligned with their hearts
desires.
You're complimentary to that bigtime.
So you know, why don't you kickus off with maybe a little bit
(01:43):
of your story, how late Learnerwas born, how your mission was
born, and yeah, give us a gistof the philosophies that you
help women with, and I'm surethat men are gonna benefit too.
So guys, relax.
Allison (01:56):
relax.
You know what's funny is thatthe more, and I'll get into my
story, but the more vulnerable Ishare, and typically my audience
is female.
But I'll tell you, Adam, I hearfrom so many men who respond
back and say, thank you so much.
I struggle with this as well.
And I think it is fascinatingand I think that men.
(02:19):
Good men are very maligned inthe society in ways that don't
allow them to express theiremotions fully.
Like men and women both havefull, full range of emotions,
but are not always allowed toexpress them.
So I really appreciate.
The opportunity to share mystory with your audience and to
(02:43):
talk to you.
Yes, we do have a lot ofoverlap.
You help people get unstuck.
I help people not only getunstuck, but become alive again.
It's a reclaiming of vibranceand vitality that may be lost in
the shuffle of.
Of the cultural expectations ofchecking all the boxes.
(03:05):
And I left my corporate career.
I've been in technology salesfor over 20 plus years, and I
left my corporate job and careera year ago.
And I'll tell you, Adam, I wasso burnt out.
So burned out it, and it was oneof those things where I have a
(03:26):
degree in broadcasting and myentire life I loved the art of
public speaking.
I love the art of sharing apowerful message that could
change and impact people.
But my mother had taught me longago.
She said, Alison never rely on aman to make money.
(03:49):
Always make your own.
And my mom was a stay-at-homemom.
She had six kids and my fathertraveled around the world.
My mom did everything, and sheregretted it.
I think she, I don't think sheregretted having us, but I think
she regretted.
Not having options and not beingable to make money on her own.
And so me and my sisters, shebeat it into our heads and I
(04:14):
took that of, never rely on aman to make money.
Always make your own.
When I look.
back at my life, every singleopportunity I had to do
something like the fun thing orthe creative thing.
I wanted to be a radio dj, butit didn't make money, and I kept
picking the money every singlestep of the way.
So I kept making practicaldecisions, but almost abandoning
(04:37):
the creative side that justnever had a place to play.
And I'm 48 now, and so when Ileft my corporate job at 47, I
had no plan, and it was one ofthose things where I.
It was so clear that I hadstarted a podcast four years ago
as you had so kindly andgenerously mentioned.
(04:58):
It's called Late Learner, and Ilaunched it four years ago and I
felt completely alive.
I wanted to make an impact.
I think I was, when I startedit.
I signed up for some podcastworkshop.
I had no idea what I would talkabout, what I was good at, what,
like I just signed up for it.
(05:19):
I just paid money, signed up andsaid, let me just figure this
out.
But what I knew is, especiallyback then, there was so much
political discourse.
There was so much there was somuch.
So many broken systems that Iwas witnessing or experiencing
on my own around healthcare andeducation, and especially
maternal healthcare.
(05:39):
And I was like, one vote everytwo years is not enough.
How do I make a bigger impact?
So I.
I didn't know what I was gonnado.
I started this podcast and itfelt it, it feels like when I
get on this microphone that Icompletely am in my element.
Whether or not I'm sayinganything worthy, I don't know,
but it.
(06:00):
Feels like I'm havingmeaningful, useful conversations
that move the needle and helppeople understand things in a
different way.
I am not the expert.
I'm just the guide.
So I'll bring on experts.
I've had Seth Godin, likeincredible thought leaders,
Jesse Itzler.
I've had Muriel Hemingway, likethe famous actress, and.
(06:23):
If you know who those peopleare, they're big in their
circles.
If you don't, just trust me,they're big in their circles.
But I've had incredible thought,thought leaders on that are
offering maybe a differentapproach from the norm.
That works.
And so it is a reallythought-provoking thing.
So as I was at work, doing theprofessional sales thing, I'm
(06:47):
making I'm a mother of two, Ihave two kids in private school.
I had a great big income and Ijust walked away from it without
Annette and I was like, There'sgotta be something more.
This hurts too much to show upto work every day and feel like
I am constricted.
Where I would get on themicrophone and feel expansive,
(07:10):
and I'm like, why does this feelso good?
And why does just showing up atwork feel so bad?
And it wasn't that the workenvironment was so bad.
It was almost like I was livingin a different body.
I was living in a different, andI taught, told myself for many
years, I I told myself that letme do this so I can make money
(07:33):
and, ha.
And it was fine.
It was fine.
But let me do something on theside so I can fill my soul.
So this was like paying thebills.
This was, this other thing wasfilling my soul.
And it got to the point where mysoul was being crushed by the
corporate world, and I had aseries of really awful bosses.
Just awful, just soul crushingthe wrong match, the wrong
(07:58):
match, where I was like, I justcan't do it.
I just can't do it.
So I left my corporate careerand it was from a tarot reading.
I'm not gonna lie, we have thesevery interesting.
Adam (08:10):
look.
I think my mother gave birth tome or conceived me partly off of
a TA reading.
So it's, yeah.
Anyway, she's always called mean accident, so maybe she read,
they read the cards wrong.
Allison (08:24):
Maybe, I don't know, but like a terror reading and I
was like, that's it's.
time to go.
So I had some really realconversations with my husband.
We're a two income household andI took one income completely
away and a lot has changed andhad to change and shift since
since that happened.
And when I left, I made onedecision and that was I wasn't
(08:48):
gonna make any decisions until Iget to hear my own voice there
was so much culturalconditioning.
Adam (08:54):
Ooh, timestamp!
Allison (08:57):
There was so much cultural conditioning that was
going on and I remember, soanother kind of fun thing, Adam
and this was part of the storytoo, where it sounds like it's
fun and frivolous, but itactually was vital to the change
that I made and vital to what Iteach now and thi this was a few
(09:18):
years ago when I was really inthe grind of.
The corporate life, justmiserable at work, but putting
on the face, wearing the mask,just, I cared about my job, I
care about, the company.
I cared about doing a good job.
It wasn't like I was, gunsblazing for everybody.
It was not that way.
I really wanted to be great atit, and I just, it was almost
(09:41):
like.
Can you be somebody you're not?
And I just couldn't fake itanymore.
And I ended up I, I used to goto a trainer, like a fitness
trainer, and I would go fromfive in the morning until five
30 and I'd work with a trainerand that was the only time I had
from five 30 to, 10 o'clock ornine or whatever time at night.
(10:01):
I was committed.
I was, it was owed to somebodyelse.
I was working, I was taking thekids somewhere.
I was working on the podcast.
I was with my husband, like itwas just, every moment was
scheduled, so I didn't have timeto do anything else.
And so I would go and work witha trainer and one week my
trainer was out of town and itwas around Christmas.
(10:25):
And so I had a little bit offlexibility and flexibility from
work.
And I went in and I was like,all right I need to go work out
somewhere.
So I'm looking in like classpass, where they have a lot of
different options and I'mlooking for like strength
training or something and I'mlike, wait a minute, I don't
wanna do that.
What do I really wanna do?
(10:47):
And I never asked that questionbefore.
And I found a dance class and Iwas like, Let me try it out.
And I stumbled on this danceclass and I felt like I was
struck by lightning and not thatI and I don't have a dance
background, I didn't pick up themoves or anything.
It was, like in the dark.
(11:07):
So you weren't like in your headlooking in the mirror.
It was like the lights were low,the music was loud, and it was
like a follow along format.
And I remember feeling like I, Ifelt like this intense rush go
through my body.
And I remember asking myself, AmI allowed to feel this good?
I just had not felt this good.
(11:27):
I hadn't given myself permissionbecause I was busy punishing
myself with all the things thatI had to do I should do, and it
was the start of something that,this was January of 2020.
And then of course the pandemichit.
So I started rearranging mywhole life to go to these
classes and I would, show up atwork in the office in these
(11:51):
suits.
And I would leave for lunch andhope I didn't get caught for
going too long, and I'd comeback sweaty and gross and
Probably stinking, but it waslike, it felt like this jolt of
energy that I just hadn't felt.
And and it was like the key towait a minute, if I can feel or
have this jolt of energy bychoosing something that.
(12:14):
Lights me up.
That feels nourishing, thatfeels good.
That allows me to, in my case,it's move my body.
Maybe for listeners, maybe it'slike pulling weeds.
Maybe it's something that is,knitting or something that
lights you up.
I would ask you listener, tothink about those things that
maybe you forgot to do cuz youthought, I don't have time to, I
(12:38):
would love to go to a danceclass.
I would love to go to the gym atall.
I would love to do, to sit on myback porch and read a book, but
I just don't have time.
And I would tell you, and askyou, can you pause and say what
else?
What boundary can you set?
That you can maybe start totiny, make some tiny shifts and
(13:01):
micro choices to maybe giveyourself a little bit of that
and see what happens.
And so I became a danceinstructor over the pandemic.
I did it remotely and I justfelt like I wanna give this to
people.
It feels so good.
It's three years later.
I'm not the greatest dancer, butI will bring energy.
(13:22):
And What.
I think is so amazing aboutthat, that the podcast and the
dancing were like two clearthings that allowed me to feel
like dancing.
Podcast, my family life feelsexpansive.
It feels like I belong here.
(13:43):
Work felt restrictive.
It felt intense.
It felt constricting where, myhusband would walk by my office
and he would see me slumped overthe keyboard crying between
meetings.
And I am not a crier, and I wasjust like, I was just like
trying to, I was, do you need ahug, Adam?
Adam (14:04):
No, I'm not crying at the
Allison (14:05):
okay.
I'm here to give you a moment.
But he would be like, what the Fis going on, Alison?
And I'm like, I gotta do this.
My, we can't afford for me toleave, I gotta do this.
And when I left my corporatejob, my, like I said, I just
needed to hear my own voice.
And I remember a few days afterI'd left and I had nowhere to
(14:26):
go.
I had no job to do.
I was just free, and.
I remember my, something wasgoing on in our house where I
was learning a dance routineonline, in my husband's home
office.
So my husband's there, he'sworking.
He's sure, come on in.
So I'm doing it, and the voicein my head was so loud at him,
(14:48):
it said, How dare you.
You should be ashamed ofyourself that your husband is
working so hard, so you can sithere and dance.
What is wrong with you?
And I was like, oh, this has tostop.
Like you could hear.
All of the shame and thediscipline and all of the, and I
(15:10):
am type A, like I'm a type Apersonality and all of that
programming and all of thatshame was like trying to shame
me out of doing something fun.
And that's why I said it's notfun, frivolous, it's like vital
to your vibrance is doing.
Is doing those things that lightyou up, even if they're tiny,
(15:31):
even if it is lighting a candle,or using the good China or
wearing your fancy clothes to,shake Shack or something because
It's fun, or because it makesyou feel good, whatever, I think
it's so much more accessible.
Than people realize, but I thinkit's critical to our ability to
(15:52):
stay engaged in our career.
And I'm not saying, foreverybody to quit their job.
For me it just, I had just
Adam (15:59):
Most should
Allison (16:00):
it.
Mo should Okay.
Yeah.
That's not the ans it's notalways the answer, but if it is,
I will cheer you on and if it isnot, I will help you, I'll help
you find your spark again.
And so it, it just has been anamazing journey that when I
left, I started doing all kindsof unconventional things to hear
my voice.
(16:21):
And some were traditional, likeI'd, I have a therapist and.
Do all that kind of stuff.
And some were unconventionalthat I would do 12 hour walks
with no, cell phone.
I did that twice.
It's Colin o Brady, if you'refamiliar with his his concept of
the 12 hour walk.
I've done solo overnight hikes.
I've done I climbed the ManitouIncline, which is like the
(16:43):
steepest incline of Colorado.
I've done psychedelic assistedtherapy.
To trying to help Deprogram andI have a lot of money mindset
stuff that's like deeplyembedded.
I think a lot of it isgenerational that I'm trying to
just unwind.
And so where that leads me nowis how there has to be a way,
(17:05):
like I have bet the farm onmyself that I can figure out how
to work and live withoutburnout.
And without sacrificing income.
And I always knew that theincome would come when I was
fully aligned, and what doesthat look like and how can I
teach other people to be fullyaligned so they can choose what
(17:29):
their income is, what their lifelooks like, whatever that is.
I think more of what I do ismore around the lifestyle.
Side of it.
And I remember a friend of mineasked me as I'm, I'm always in
the struggle, right?
I'm always trying to figure itout.
And my friend had asked meastutely and said, when you're
80 years old and you look back,what do you want your life to
(17:50):
look like?
And I was like, oh, right now.
Like I have freedom.
I have a family that loves me.
I have a roof over my head.
I have an amazing husband andfamily, and I have freedom to
explore anything that makes mecurious and have a platform to
(18:11):
be able to do it.
Why would I need more?
What am I running towards?
And that's the same thing of theAmerican way is more.
But it's like filling an empty,an unfillable bucket.
And if you have enough now, whyisn't it enough?
And I think that people like mewho have done everything,
(18:36):
they've checked all the boxes,they've, gotten the corner
office or they have the title,they have the cars.
They're not worried aboutputting food on their table.
And they are look around andthey're like I have the family,
but I'm not happy.
I'm not fulfilled.
And it's almost embar I don'tknow that a lot of people would
(18:58):
admit that.
Is this all there is?
Like, where was the fulfillmentbox?
I wanted to check that off.
And I wonder, I think a lot ofwomen feel shame that, wait a
minute, I'm not.
I have so much, I should begrateful.
Why isn't it enough?
So it's a really weird.
Layer of is this, is that allthere is and do I deserve more?
(19:25):
And so I think there's a lot ofself-worth that's wound up in
there.
Adam (19:30):
Man.
I really appreciate letting usin on the story and the genesis
of this.
I want to go all the way back tothe point where you left your
corporate job without a
Allison (19:40):
Yeah.
Adam (19:40):
and this isn't I, and I fully understand and appreciate
for anyone listening that ifyou're a single income provider,
some of these things might notdirectly apply to you.
in terms of strategy or beingable to leave without a plan if
you're trying to feed othermouths as well.
At the same time, like there'swisdom that goes along with
(20:01):
these decisions, most of which Iignored up until this point in
my life growing up.
But I also understand very well,I, friends and family watch me
leave.
I, I had nursing career for 10years.
All sorts of different things.
Our move to Florida was leavinga healthy six figure position as
a sea level director in sales,and when that collapsed, I saw
(20:26):
that ship burning down.
We're like, you know what, it'stime to go.
And we moved our family a six tothe Tampa Bay area.
With no immediate plan to how wewere going to get bred the next
day or to pay those bills whenthey come.
But what I understood, I had afew things that I knew about
myself in terms of my own skilllevel and confidence, and for me
(20:47):
and my life and my wife and I,we believed that there was an
aspect a significant aspect inthe core of that, that God was
leading us to do certain things.
And, but there was also, youhave to apply some smarts to it.
And We did some of those things.
I'm wondering for you, withoutnecessarily the particular
strategy, the more of themindset when you left, what was
(21:11):
it?
Allison (21:11):
It was not without freakouts, it wasn't without, I
remember I had decided I wasgoing to leave.
I didn't tell anybody yet.
It was in January.
It was the end of our fiscalyear.
If you are in sales and knowworking for big technology
companies, I work for DocuSignand Salesforce and adp.
There's a lot of intensepressure.
(21:32):
Yeah.
There's a lot of intensepressure, that, that come along
with having that kind of highstake sales world.
And I woke up in the middle ofthe night and I couldn't
breathe, and I thought I washaving a heart attack and I
just, I couldn't breathe.
My heart was beating outta mychest.
I thought I was having a heartattack.
I'd never had a panic attack,but apparently that's what it
(21:52):
was.
And I remember that.
I was so scared.
And I didn't know how to fix it.
I didn't know how to help.
I knew I was gonna be leaving.
And that week following thatpanic attack, I had four
massages in a week, and not oneof them helped.
And what I realized is that allof that energy and anxiety was
(22:16):
stuck in my body.
It was just plain stuck.
There wasn't a jackhammer on theplanet that would've been able
to release the tension in myshoulders.
And how do I unwind that?
And juxtapositioning thephysical stuff that was going on
with me with the mental mindsetshift of, oh my God, never rely
(22:36):
on a man to make money, neverrely on a man to make money, and
knowing that I'm highly skilledand could get a job if I wanted
to in different areas andcontinuously saying no.
There's something more.
And so even over after leavingand, being in a position where
I'm like, I gotta get a job.
(22:57):
I don't know how we're gonnakeep doing this.
Like we had a set amount of timeand that time ran out and, I'm
like, I've gotta get a job.
And so I'd start looking attraditional jobs and all of a
sudden I would feel that tensioncome back in my body and a voice
would come and say, Not yet.
Alison, you're so close.
You are on the right track.
(23:17):
So it was almost like first Ihad to hear my own voice, and
whether that is God or theuniverse or whatever your higher
power is, it felt like it feltvery divine of just no.
This is not right.
Not yet.
And they were great jobs.
They were great opportunities,but they would've taken so much
time away and it was truly.
(23:39):
I could feel the corporate, thebackpack like the corporate
backpack that just is too heavyto fit on my back right now.
I just could feel it and knew itwasn't right.
Adam (23:52):
man.
Okay, so you teed up something.
No decisions until I hear my ownvoice.
I relate to something similar,but different, but similar that
I did back in 2018 We talkedabout unlearning and you deal
with a lot of these things.
And when it comes to strippingaway of the installed
identities.
There's a lot of crossover to mymaterial here, and I want your
(24:13):
flavor for it on the show now.
I think those two can cometogether.
No decisions until I hear my ownvoice.
Unlearning.
Stripping away the installedidentities.
Simple, practical action wise.
Listeners driving to work,they're in the car.
Maybe they're in a car line forschool.
Who knows what it is in theshower?
(24:34):
Listening.
That's a big spot right at nightgoing to bed.
Allison (24:37):
Right.
Adam (24:38):
What can you give this person listening right now who
can take this simple, practicalaction to begin to learn to undo
what the world has put on themand the conditioning that
they're operating through versusthem being able to hear their
own voice?
(24:59):
And understanding what theirsoul is requesting of them, what
their soul is, probably beggingof them, what is something we
can do to raise that awareness?
Allison (25:12):
The easiest, quickest way to start to unlearn is to go
in nature.
And if that means.
I'll walk outside for fiveminutes, let it be a walk
outside.
And so one of the things that Ido with my effective collective
(25:34):
Mastermind is I teach people theeasiest way to do this.
And this is super fun.
It's super easy, it's superaccessible, is your one goal a
day is to lower.
Your nervous system is to relaxyour nervous system.
So how do you do that?
(25:56):
All you need to do is dowhatever it is.
In your life.
That feels really good.
And so what I always tell peopleis make a list of 20 things.
20.
Maybe it's in activities, maybeit's in experience, maybe it's
something that just feelsnourishing.
This is not Take 80 Red Bulls orhit your shot of espresso at
(26:18):
three o'clock.
This is Just take It takes 10minutes, right?
Like 10 minutes.
Just write down 20 things.
Stream of consciousness.
They could be something sosmall, like enjoying a cup of
tea instead of pounding thecoffee, cuz you gotta get it, or
like shoving food in your facewhen maybe you would rather slow
down and enjoy it.
(26:39):
And it could be as simple assimply putting your hand on your
heart.
Because when you physically putyour hand on your heart, it
automatically tells your body.
It's okay to relax and thatyou're also sending it love.
And what I think is sointeresting about that is when
you have the ability to calmyour nervous system down, I tell
(27:02):
people, just do whatever it is.
When you can start to feel yourshoulders lower, even if it's
for a moment, and that's it.
And just do that once a day andthe more you start doing it
again, these are micro choices,right?
The more you start doing that,the more it feels better.
And when it starts to feelbetter, when you start to notice
Adam (27:25):
a shift,
Allison (27:26):
yeah, like you're just noticing the shift, just get to
the shift.
And that could take.
30 seconds.
It could take five minutes.
Maybe it is taking a pickleballclass, trying something new,
taking a new direction.
You're
Adam (27:40):
My wife and I are going on a.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I got excited.
Allison (27:44):
I wanna hear, are you doing
Adam (27:45):
doing something.
No, but we're doing a class.
We've never done these things.
We have 26 years together andwe've never done like little fun
class stuff.
So we're gonna go and do actualclay pottery
Allison (27:58):
Ooh.
I love it.
I, Adam, will you, and I'mserious about this, will you
tell me how it goes, like howyou feel?
Adam (28:08):
Okay.
Allison (28:09):
I really wanna know, because I think even
Adam (28:11):
putting it in my show, in my notes,
Allison (28:12):
But even if it's something you don't really care
about, but it's something new,at least you're trying something
new and it is reprogramming yourneuro pathways a little bit,
that you have to expand theparameters of your schedule.
You have to expand theparameters of your routine, and
that is how you invitepossibility.
(28:33):
That's how you invite growth.
And what I'm doing is, I call itfractures of light.
It essentially is when you'veoutgrown your container and that
container starts to crack.
And in those cracks are whereyou see the light.
And maybe that is.
Lighting that candle or puttingyour hand on your heart, or even
meditating for a minute, ortaking a 30 minute dance class
(28:55):
at home or doing some YouTube,yoga thing.
Just anything that's going tocalm your nervous system down
those fractures of light.
What you wanna do is you wannakeep doing that, so you make
that light brighter.
You bring the light in becauseit's about you.
It's about you.
Adam (29:12):
YouTube yoga.
And I'll mention her right nowbecause I like her stuff so much
and I, for anybody to listen.
Who wants to check her out?
Sarah Beth Yoga.
Sarah with, I don't thinkthere's an H.
Doesn't matter.
Her channel's huge.
Allison (29:25):
My husband does her yoga.
He loves it.
He does her Yoga.
dudes like it.
Adam (29:32):
like it because she, while it's calming and it's serene and
it lets you relax, I've foundeven with other men's yoga, they
are a little too flowery for me.
They're a little too woowoo orthey're distracting because the
person has their dog there andthe dog's making mouth noises
(29:53):
like it doesn't even matter.
Sarah has a delivery that'sclean and she's got all sorts of
different topics.
And I started using her stuffyears, some years ago because of
my own ptsd with anxiety issuesand tension that I'd carry
during the day.
And it's part of my Sunrisesystem that I use, that I've
developed.
But she's a part of it.
She comes and goes in my life atdifferent times.
(30:15):
But Sarah Beth lover I want totell, mention why we, I decided
to look up that pottery classthing.
And this is gonna reach forpeople who've been in
relationships maybe for a longtime.
Or you ha it's been long enoughthat maybe your date life got a
little stale.
And so by not de edifying mywife whatsoever, because we do
have a strong relationship, didI tell you that we were
(30:37):
divorced?
Allison (30:37):
Yeah.
Adam (30:39):
I did tell you that.
Okay.
So we have been divorced andpeople know our story, so I'm
not gonna get into it againhere.
But we are not divorced anymore.
We, but date night.
Four kids career, we're bothbuilding new careers.
She's a personal trainer and I'mdoing my thing and it can still
just be like, okay let's getdate night done.
Let's, maybe it's more thancheck the box, but it's not
enough to keep it fresh,innovating and invigorating for
(31:02):
our relationship.
Injecting energy.
It wasn't there.
And we were Gulf side inBradenton and we're at this
dinner, our table is on therail, and then the water's right
there and we're watching boatlike it doesn't.
We didn't have anything likethat in Detroit.
Lemme just tell you, we leftthat night and we're like, after
(31:24):
some conversation we go, datenight needs some lovings, date
night needs some love.
And then we're like, we justgotta do something different.
But by doing somethingdifferent, because I understand
this possibility that when yougo do something different, you
become a learner again.
You put yourself into a newposition.
Allison (31:43):
Late learner.
Adam (31:44):
is joining me.
We, I'm telling you, I, I joinedup with a Toastmasters chapter
over the last month or two.
My son's now coming
Allison (31:51):
Oh, I love
Adam (31:52):
and when you can enter into a room, This is A two part
of it, but when you can enterinto something where you're
brand new and you can be firstday again at something and be
the rookie all over again,especially the more professional
or competent you are in yourskills.
If you're an expert atsomething, go down and get dumb
at something like, Be a rookiein the room and all of a sudden
(32:15):
you're nervous again.
You got butterflies, but you'realso more awake.
You're more alert and alive, andthen you start making other
connections through observationsand the rabbit trail goes down.
But yeah, so I wanted to mentionthat.
That is a big one.
Allison (32:30):
I love
Adam (32:31):
allison, it's been amazing spending time with you today.
We're gonna, we're gonna makesure that this goes out.
The, your resources that youprovide will be in the show
notes.
People can follow you.
The simple, practical action ofhearing your own voice, finding
these ways to increase yourawareness.
This is blessing somebody rightnow where do you want people to
find you
Allison (32:47):
Thank you Adam so much.
What a gift to talk to you andwhat a gift you're giving as
well.
Allison Hare dot com is mywebsite or Instagram, Allison
underscore Hare.
But thank you so very much forthis Oh and Late Learner
Podcast.
Late Learner.
Adam (33:02):
we'll include it all in the show notes, but if you're on
the fly, check her out right nowif she struck a chord for you,
god bless you.
We'll talk later.
Allison (33:08):
Thank you Adam.
welcome, revolutionary Freedom.
Today we have a powerhouse onthe rise and getting stronger.
Allison Hare is with us.
She's a former sales executiveturned lifestyle entrepreneur.
She's the host of theaward-winning top 1.5% globally
ranked podcast late learner andfounded the effective collective
membership designed for highperforming mothers.
(00:22):
That are ready for a newchapter.
I know the moms loverevolutionary freedom, so we're
gonna give it to'em.
Allison helps busy professionalwomen reconnect with their most
alive selves.
Her podcast Late Learner is forthe person who almost told
herself, it's too late, Alison,let's kick some ass today.
(00:43):
How are you?
Allison (00:44):
I'm excited to be here, Adam.
Thank you.
Adam (00:47):
Yes, me too.
We ha we share our coachingmastermind and I'm telling you,
when you up the level of theenergy of those you associate in
the room, you find yourselfrising.
And I feel like I'm abeneficiary of that today as
well,
Allison (01:03):
Me too.
We're linking arms.
We're linking arms in thisjourney.
Adam (01:08):
Absolutely.
We're in the shore.
David Goggin's.
He talks about getting wet andsandy and SEAL training and
that's, I did that with my kidalready this week too.
It's, that is there's, it's apowerful place to be when you're
linked in common goal.
Allison (01:19):
Yeah.
Adam (01:20):
Alright.
Busy professional women thathave almost believed the lie
that it's too late.
Maybe she's forgotten whereshe's at in life.
I help people recover their trueidentity, get back to their
authenticity, live holisticallyaligned with their hearts
desires.
You're complimentary to that bigtime.
So you know, why don't you kickus off with maybe a little bit
(01:43):
of your story, how late Learnerwas born, how your mission was
born, and yeah, give us a gistof the philosophies that you
help women with, and I'm surethat men are gonna benefit too.
So guys, relax.
Allison (01:56):
relax.
You know what's funny is thatthe more, and I'll get into my
story, but the more vulnerable Ishare, and typically my audience
is female.
But I'll tell you, Adam, I hearfrom so many men who respond
back and say, thank you so much.
I struggle with this as well.
And I think it is fascinatingand I think that men.
(02:19):
Good men are very maligned inthe society in ways that don't
allow them to express theiremotions fully.
Like men and women both havefull, full range of emotions,
but are not always allowed toexpress them.
So I really appreciate.
The opportunity to share mystory with your audience and to
(02:43):
talk to you.
Yes, we do have a lot ofoverlap.
You help people get unstuck.
I help people not only getunstuck, but become alive again.
It's a reclaiming of vibranceand vitality that may be lost in
the shuffle of.
Of the cultural expectations ofchecking all the boxes.
(03:05):
And I left my corporate career.
I've been in technology salesfor over 20 plus years, and I
left my corporate job and careera year ago.
And I'll tell you, Adam, I wasso burnt out.
So burned out it, and it was oneof those things where I have a
(03:26):
degree in broadcasting and myentire life I loved the art of
public speaking.
I love the art of sharing apowerful message that could
change and impact people.
But my mother had taught me longago.
She said, Alison never rely on aman to make money.
(03:49):
Always make your own.
And my mom was a stay-at-homemom.
She had six kids and my fathertraveled around the world.
My mom did everything, and sheregretted it.
I think she, I don't think sheregretted having us, but I think
she regretted.
Not having options and not beingable to make money on her own.
And so me and my sisters, shebeat it into our heads and I
(04:14):
took that of, never rely on aman to make money.
Always make your own.
When I look.
back at my life, every singleopportunity I had to do
something like the fun thing orthe creative thing.
I wanted to be a radio dj, butit didn't make money, and I kept
picking the money every singlestep of the way.
So I kept making practicaldecisions, but almost abandoning
(04:37):
the creative side that justnever had a place to play.
And I'm 48 now, and so when Ileft my corporate job at 47, I
had no plan, and it was one ofthose things where I.
It was so clear that I hadstarted a podcast four years ago
as you had so kindly andgenerously mentioned.
(04:58):
It's called Late Learner, and Ilaunched it four years ago and I
felt completely alive.
I wanted to make an impact.
I think I was, when I startedit.
I signed up for some podcastworkshop.
I had no idea what I would talkabout, what I was good at, what,
like I just signed up for it.
(05:19):
I just paid money, signed up andsaid, let me just figure this
out.
But what I knew is, especiallyback then, there was so much
political discourse.
There was so much there was somuch.
So many broken systems that Iwas witnessing or experiencing
on my own around healthcare andeducation, and especially
maternal healthcare.
(05:39):
And I was like, one vote everytwo years is not enough.
How do I make a bigger impact?
So I.
I didn't know what I was gonnado.
I started this podcast and itfelt it, it feels like when I
get on this microphone that Icompletely am in my element.
Whether or not I'm sayinganything worthy, I don't know,
but it.
(06:00):
Feels like I'm havingmeaningful, useful conversations
that move the needle and helppeople understand things in a
different way.
I am not the expert.
I'm just the guide.
So I'll bring on experts.
I've had Seth Godin, likeincredible thought leaders,
Jesse Itzler.
I've had Muriel Hemingway, likethe famous actress, and.
(06:23):
If you know who those peopleare, they're big in their
circles.
If you don't, just trust me,they're big in their circles.
But I've had incredible thought,thought leaders on that are
offering maybe a differentapproach from the norm.
That works.
And so it is a reallythought-provoking thing.
So as I was at work, doing theprofessional sales thing, I'm
(06:47):
making I'm a mother of two, Ihave two kids in private school.
I had a great big income and Ijust walked away from it without
Annette and I was like, There'sgotta be something more.
This hurts too much to show upto work every day and feel like
I am constricted.
Where I would get on themicrophone and feel expansive,
(07:10):
and I'm like, why does this feelso good?
And why does just showing up atwork feel so bad?
And it wasn't that the workenvironment was so bad.
It was almost like I was livingin a different body.
I was living in a different, andI taught, told myself for many
years, I I told myself that letme do this so I can make money
(07:33):
and, ha.
And it was fine.
It was fine.
But let me do something on theside so I can fill my soul.
So this was like paying thebills.
This was, this other thing wasfilling my soul.
And it got to the point where mysoul was being crushed by the
corporate world, and I had aseries of really awful bosses.
Just awful, just soul crushingthe wrong match, the wrong
(07:58):
match, where I was like, I justcan't do it.
I just can't do it.
So I left my corporate careerand it was from a tarot reading.
I'm not gonna lie, we have thesevery interesting.
Adam (08:10):
look.
I think my mother gave birth tome or conceived me partly off of
a TA reading.
So it's, yeah.
Anyway, she's always called mean accident, so maybe she read,
they read the cards wrong.
Allison (08:24):
Maybe, I don't know, but like a terror reading and I
was like, that's it's.
time to go.
So I had some really realconversations with my husband.
We're a two income household andI took one income completely
away and a lot has changed andhad to change and shift since
since that happened.
And when I left, I made onedecision and that was I wasn't
(08:48):
gonna make any decisions until Iget to hear my own voice there
was so much culturalconditioning.
Adam (08:54):
Ooh, timestamp!
Allison (08:57):
There was so much cultural conditioning that was
going on and I remember, soanother kind of fun thing, Adam
and this was part of the storytoo, where it sounds like it's
fun and frivolous, but itactually was vital to the change
that I made and vital to what Iteach now and thi this was a few
(09:18):
years ago when I was really inthe grind of.
The corporate life, justmiserable at work, but putting
on the face, wearing the mask,just, I cared about my job, I
care about, the company.
I cared about doing a good job.
It wasn't like I was, gunsblazing for everybody.
It was not that way.
I really wanted to be great atit, and I just, it was almost
(09:41):
like.
Can you be somebody you're not?
And I just couldn't fake itanymore.
And I ended up I, I used to goto a trainer, like a fitness
trainer, and I would go fromfive in the morning until five
30 and I'd work with a trainerand that was the only time I had
from five 30 to, 10 o'clock ornine or whatever time at night.
(10:01):
I was committed.
I was, it was owed to somebodyelse.
I was working, I was taking thekids somewhere.
I was working on the podcast.
I was with my husband, like itwas just, every moment was
scheduled, so I didn't have timeto do anything else.
And so I would go and work witha trainer and one week my
trainer was out of town and itwas around Christmas.
(10:25):
And so I had a little bit offlexibility and flexibility from
work.
And I went in and I was like,all right I need to go work out
somewhere.
So I'm looking in like classpass, where they have a lot of
different options and I'mlooking for like strength
training or something and I'mlike, wait a minute, I don't
wanna do that.
What do I really wanna do?
(10:47):
And I never asked that questionbefore.
And I found a dance class and Iwas like, Let me try it out.
And I stumbled on this danceclass and I felt like I was
struck by lightning and not thatI and I don't have a dance
background, I didn't pick up themoves or anything.
It was, like in the dark.
(11:07):
So you weren't like in your headlooking in the mirror.
It was like the lights were low,the music was loud, and it was
like a follow along format.
And I remember feeling like I, Ifelt like this intense rush go
through my body.
And I remember asking myself, AmI allowed to feel this good?
I just had not felt this good.
(11:27):
I hadn't given myself permissionbecause I was busy punishing
myself with all the things thatI had to do I should do, and it
was the start of something that,this was January of 2020.
And then of course the pandemichit.
So I started rearranging mywhole life to go to these
classes and I would, show up atwork in the office in these
(11:51):
suits.
And I would leave for lunch andhope I didn't get caught for
going too long, and I'd comeback sweaty and gross and
Probably stinking, but it waslike, it felt like this jolt of
energy that I just hadn't felt.
And and it was like the key towait a minute, if I can feel or
have this jolt of energy bychoosing something that.
(12:14):
Lights me up.
That feels nourishing, thatfeels good.
That allows me to, in my case,it's move my body.
Maybe for listeners, maybe it'slike pulling weeds.
Maybe it's something that is,knitting or something that
lights you up.
I would ask you listener, tothink about those things that
maybe you forgot to do cuz youthought, I don't have time to, I
(12:38):
would love to go to a danceclass.
I would love to go to the gym atall.
I would love to do, to sit on myback porch and read a book, but
I just don't have time.
And I would tell you, and askyou, can you pause and say what
else?
What boundary can you set?
That you can maybe start totiny, make some tiny shifts and
(13:01):
micro choices to maybe giveyourself a little bit of that
and see what happens.
And so I became a danceinstructor over the pandemic.
I did it remotely and I justfelt like I wanna give this to
people.
It feels so good.
It's three years later.
I'm not the greatest dancer, butI will bring energy.
(13:22):
And What.
I think is so amazing aboutthat, that the podcast and the
dancing were like two clearthings that allowed me to feel
like dancing.
Podcast, my family life feelsexpansive.
It feels like I belong here.
(13:43):
Work felt restrictive.
It felt intense.
It felt constricting where, myhusband would walk by my office
and he would see me slumped overthe keyboard crying between
meetings.
And I am not a crier, and I wasjust like, I was just like
trying to, I was, do you need ahug, Adam?
Adam (14:04):
No, I'm not crying at the
Allison (14:05):
okay.
I'm here to give you a moment.
But he would be like, what the Fis going on, Alison?
And I'm like, I gotta do this.
My, we can't afford for me toleave, I gotta do this.
And when I left my corporatejob, my, like I said, I just
needed to hear my own voice.
And I remember a few days afterI'd left and I had nowhere to
(14:26):
go.
I had no job to do.
I was just free, and.
I remember my, something wasgoing on in our house where I
was learning a dance routineonline, in my husband's home
office.
So my husband's there, he'sworking.
He's sure, come on in.
So I'm doing it, and the voicein my head was so loud at him,
(14:48):
it said, How dare you.
You should be ashamed ofyourself that your husband is
working so hard, so you can sithere and dance.
What is wrong with you?
And I was like, oh, this has tostop.
Like you could hear.
All of the shame and thediscipline and all of the, and I
(15:10):
am type A, like I'm a type Apersonality and all of that
programming and all of thatshame was like trying to shame
me out of doing something fun.
And that's why I said it's notfun, frivolous, it's like vital
to your vibrance is doing.
Is doing those things that lightyou up, even if they're tiny,
(15:31):
even if it is lighting a candle,or using the good China or
wearing your fancy clothes to,shake Shack or something because
It's fun, or because it makesyou feel good, whatever, I think
it's so much more accessible.
Than people realize, but I thinkit's critical to our ability to
(15:52):
stay engaged in our career.
And I'm not saying, foreverybody to quit their job.
For me it just, I had just
Adam (15:59):
Most should
Allison (16:00):
it.
Mo should Okay.
Yeah.
That's not the ans it's notalways the answer, but if it is,
I will cheer you on and if it isnot, I will help you, I'll help
you find your spark again.
And so it, it just has been anamazing journey that when I
left, I started doing all kindsof unconventional things to hear
my voice.
(16:21):
And some were traditional, likeI'd, I have a therapist and.
Do all that kind of stuff.
And some were unconventionalthat I would do 12 hour walks
with no, cell phone.
I did that twice.
It's Colin o Brady, if you'refamiliar with his his concept of
the 12 hour walk.
I've done solo overnight hikes.
I've done I climbed the ManitouIncline, which is like the
(16:43):
steepest incline of Colorado.
I've done psychedelic assistedtherapy.
To trying to help Deprogram andI have a lot of money mindset
stuff that's like deeplyembedded.
I think a lot of it isgenerational that I'm trying to
just unwind.
And so where that leads me nowis how there has to be a way,
(17:05):
like I have bet the farm onmyself that I can figure out how
to work and live withoutburnout.
And without sacrificing income.
And I always knew that theincome would come when I was
fully aligned, and what doesthat look like and how can I
teach other people to be fullyaligned so they can choose what
(17:29):
their income is, what their lifelooks like, whatever that is.
I think more of what I do ismore around the lifestyle.
Side of it.
And I remember a friend of mineasked me as I'm, I'm always in
the struggle, right?
I'm always trying to figure itout.
And my friend had asked meastutely and said, when you're
80 years old and you look back,what do you want your life to
(17:50):
look like?
And I was like, oh, right now.
Like I have freedom.
I have a family that loves me.
I have a roof over my head.
I have an amazing husband andfamily, and I have freedom to
explore anything that makes mecurious and have a platform to
(18:11):
be able to do it.
Why would I need more?
What am I running towards?
And that's the same thing of theAmerican way is more.
But it's like filling an empty,an unfillable bucket.
And if you have enough now, whyisn't it enough?
And I think that people like mewho have done everything,
(18:36):
they've checked all the boxes,they've, gotten the corner
office or they have the title,they have the cars.
They're not worried aboutputting food on their table.
And they are look around andthey're like I have the family,
but I'm not happy.
I'm not fulfilled.
And it's almost embar I don'tknow that a lot of people would
(18:58):
admit that.
Is this all there is?
Like, where was the fulfillmentbox?
I wanted to check that off.
And I wonder, I think a lot ofwomen feel shame that, wait a
minute, I'm not.
I have so much, I should begrateful.
Why isn't it enough?
So it's a really weird.
Layer of is this, is that allthere is and do I deserve more?
(19:25):
And so I think there's a lot ofself-worth that's wound up in
there.
Adam (19:30):
Man.
I really appreciate letting usin on the story and the genesis
of this.
I want to go all the way back tothe point where you left your
corporate job without a
Allison (19:40):
Yeah.
Adam (19:40):
and this isn't I, and I fully understand and appreciate
for anyone listening that ifyou're a single income provider,
some of these things might notdirectly apply to you.
in terms of strategy or beingable to leave without a plan if
you're trying to feed othermouths as well.
At the same time, like there'swisdom that goes along with
(20:01):
these decisions, most of which Iignored up until this point in
my life growing up.
But I also understand very well,I, friends and family watch me
leave.
I, I had nursing career for 10years.
All sorts of different things.
Our move to Florida was leavinga healthy six figure position as
a sea level director in sales,and when that collapsed, I saw
(20:26):
that ship burning down.
We're like, you know what, it'stime to go.
And we moved our family a six tothe Tampa Bay area.
With no immediate plan to how wewere going to get bred the next
day or to pay those bills whenthey come.
But what I understood, I had afew things that I knew about
myself in terms of my own skilllevel and confidence, and for me
(20:47):
and my life and my wife and I,we believed that there was an
aspect a significant aspect inthe core of that, that God was
leading us to do certain things.
And, but there was also, youhave to apply some smarts to it.
And We did some of those things.
I'm wondering for you, withoutnecessarily the particular
strategy, the more of themindset when you left, what was
(21:11):
it?
Allison (21:11):
It was not without freakouts, it wasn't without, I
remember I had decided I wasgoing to leave.
I didn't tell anybody yet.
It was in January.
It was the end of our fiscalyear.
If you are in sales and knowworking for big technology
companies, I work for DocuSignand Salesforce and adp.
There's a lot of intensepressure.
(21:32):
Yeah.
There's a lot of intensepressure, that, that come along
with having that kind of highstake sales world.
And I woke up in the middle ofthe night and I couldn't
breathe, and I thought I washaving a heart attack and I
just, I couldn't breathe.
My heart was beating outta mychest.
I thought I was having a heartattack.
I'd never had a panic attack,but apparently that's what it
(21:52):
was.
And I remember that.
I was so scared.
And I didn't know how to fix it.
I didn't know how to help.
I knew I was gonna be leaving.
And that week following thatpanic attack, I had four
massages in a week, and not oneof them helped.
And what I realized is that allof that energy and anxiety was
(22:16):
stuck in my body.
It was just plain stuck.
There wasn't a jackhammer on theplanet that would've been able
to release the tension in myshoulders.
And how do I unwind that?
And juxtapositioning thephysical stuff that was going on
with me with the mental mindsetshift of, oh my God, never rely
(22:36):
on a man to make money, neverrely on a man to make money, and
knowing that I'm highly skilledand could get a job if I wanted
to in different areas andcontinuously saying no.
There's something more.
And so even over after leavingand, being in a position where
I'm like, I gotta get a job.
(22:57):
I don't know how we're gonnakeep doing this.
Like we had a set amount of timeand that time ran out and, I'm
like, I've gotta get a job.
And so I'd start looking attraditional jobs and all of a
sudden I would feel that tensioncome back in my body and a voice
would come and say, Not yet.
Alison, you're so close.
You are on the right track.
(23:17):
So it was almost like first Ihad to hear my own voice, and
whether that is God or theuniverse or whatever your higher
power is, it felt like it feltvery divine of just no.
This is not right.
Not yet.
And they were great jobs.
They were great opportunities,but they would've taken so much
time away and it was truly.
(23:39):
I could feel the corporate, thebackpack like the corporate
backpack that just is too heavyto fit on my back right now.
I just could feel it and knew itwasn't right.
Adam (23:52):
man.
Okay, so you teed up something.
No decisions until I hear my ownvoice.
I relate to something similar,but different, but similar that
I did back in 2018 We talkedabout unlearning and you deal
with a lot of these things.
And when it comes to strippingaway of the installed
identities.
There's a lot of crossover to mymaterial here, and I want your
(24:13):
flavor for it on the show now.
I think those two can cometogether.
No decisions until I hear my ownvoice.
Unlearning.
Stripping away the installedidentities.
Simple, practical action wise.
Listeners driving to work,they're in the car.
Maybe they're in a car line forschool.
Who knows what it is in theshower?
(24:34):
Listening.
That's a big spot right at nightgoing to bed.
Allison (24:37):
Right.
Adam (24:38):
What can you give this person listening right now who
can take this simple, practicalaction to begin to learn to undo
what the world has put on themand the conditioning that
they're operating through versusthem being able to hear their
own voice?
(24:59):
And understanding what theirsoul is requesting of them, what
their soul is, probably beggingof them, what is something we
can do to raise that awareness?
Allison (25:12):
The easiest, quickest way to start to unlearn is to go
in nature.
And if that means.
I'll walk outside for fiveminutes, let it be a walk
outside.
And so one of the things that Ido with my effective collective
(25:34):
Mastermind is I teach people theeasiest way to do this.
And this is super fun.
It's super easy, it's superaccessible, is your one goal a
day is to lower.
Your nervous system is to relaxyour nervous system.
So how do you do that?
(25:56):
All you need to do is dowhatever it is.
In your life.
That feels really good.
And so what I always tell peopleis make a list of 20 things.
20.
Maybe it's in activities, maybeit's in experience, maybe it's
something that just feelsnourishing.
This is not Take 80 Red Bulls orhit your shot of espresso at
(26:18):
three o'clock.
This is Just take It takes 10minutes, right?
Like 10 minutes.
Just write down 20 things.
Stream of consciousness.
They could be something sosmall, like enjoying a cup of
tea instead of pounding thecoffee, cuz you gotta get it, or
like shoving food in your facewhen maybe you would rather slow
down and enjoy it.
(26:39):
And it could be as simple assimply putting your hand on your
heart.
Because when you physically putyour hand on your heart, it
automatically tells your body.
It's okay to relax and thatyou're also sending it love.
And what I think is sointeresting about that is when
you have the ability to calmyour nervous system down, I tell
(27:02):
people, just do whatever it is.
When you can start to feel yourshoulders lower, even if it's
for a moment, and that's it.
And just do that once a day andthe more you start doing it
again, these are micro choices,right?
The more you start doing that,the more it feels better.
And when it starts to feelbetter, when you start to notice
Adam (27:25):
a shift,
Allison (27:26):
yeah, like you're just noticing the shift, just get to
the shift.
And that could take.
30 seconds.
It could take five minutes.
Maybe it is taking a pickleballclass, trying something new,
taking a new direction.
You're
Adam (27:40):
My wife and I are going on a.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I got excited.
Allison (27:44):
I wanna hear, are you doing
Adam (27:45):
doing something.
No, but we're doing a class.
We've never done these things.
We have 26 years together andwe've never done like little fun
class stuff.
So we're gonna go and do actualclay pottery
Allison (27:58):
Ooh.
I love it.
I, Adam, will you, and I'mserious about this, will you
tell me how it goes, like howyou feel?
Adam (28:08):
Okay.
Allison (28:09):
I really wanna know, because I think even
Adam (28:11):
putting it in my show, in my notes,
Allison (28:12):
But even if it's something you don't really care
about, but it's something new,at least you're trying something
new and it is reprogramming yourneuro pathways a little bit,
that you have to expand theparameters of your schedule.
You have to expand theparameters of your routine, and
that is how you invitepossibility.
(28:33):
That's how you invite growth.
And what I'm doing is, I call itfractures of light.
It essentially is when you'veoutgrown your container and that
container starts to crack.
And in those cracks are whereyou see the light.
And maybe that is.
Lighting that candle or puttingyour hand on your heart, or even
meditating for a minute, ortaking a 30 minute dance class
(28:55):
at home or doing some YouTube,yoga thing.
Just anything that's going tocalm your nervous system down
those fractures of light.
What you wanna do is you wannakeep doing that, so you make
that light brighter.
You bring the light in becauseit's about you.
It's about you.
Adam (29:12):
YouTube yoga.
And I'll mention her right nowbecause I like her stuff so much
and I, for anybody to listen.
Who wants to check her out?
Sarah Beth Yoga.
Sarah with, I don't thinkthere's an H.
Doesn't matter.
Her channel's huge.
Allison (29:25):
My husband does her yoga.
He loves it.
He does her Yoga.
dudes like it.
Adam (29:32):
like it because she, while it's calming and it's serene and
it lets you relax, I've foundeven with other men's yoga, they
are a little too flowery for me.
They're a little too woowoo orthey're distracting because the
person has their dog there andthe dog's making mouth noises
(29:53):
like it doesn't even matter.
Sarah has a delivery that'sclean and she's got all sorts of
different topics.
And I started using her stuffyears, some years ago because of
my own ptsd with anxiety issuesand tension that I'd carry
during the day.
And it's part of my Sunrisesystem that I use, that I've
developed.
But she's a part of it.
She comes and goes in my life atdifferent times.
(30:15):
But Sarah Beth lover I want totell, mention why we, I decided
to look up that pottery classthing.
And this is gonna reach forpeople who've been in
relationships maybe for a longtime.
Or you ha it's been long enoughthat maybe your date life got a
little stale.
And so by not de edifying mywife whatsoever, because we do
have a strong relationship, didI tell you that we were
(30:37):
divorced?
Allison (30:37):
Yeah.
Adam (30:39):
I did tell you that.
Okay.
So we have been divorced andpeople know our story, so I'm
not gonna get into it againhere.
But we are not divorced anymore.
We, but date night.
Four kids career, we're bothbuilding new careers.
She's a personal trainer and I'mdoing my thing and it can still
just be like, okay let's getdate night done.
Let's, maybe it's more thancheck the box, but it's not
enough to keep it fresh,innovating and invigorating for
(31:02):
our relationship.
Injecting energy.
It wasn't there.
And we were Gulf side inBradenton and we're at this
dinner, our table is on therail, and then the water's right
there and we're watching boatlike it doesn't.
We didn't have anything likethat in Detroit.
Lemme just tell you, we leftthat night and we're like, after
(31:24):
some conversation we go, datenight needs some lovings, date
night needs some love.
And then we're like, we justgotta do something different.
But by doing somethingdifferent, because I understand
this possibility that when yougo do something different, you
become a learner again.
You put yourself into a newposition.
Allison (31:43):
Late learner.
Adam (31:44):
is joining me.
We, I'm telling you, I, I joinedup with a Toastmasters chapter
over the last month or two.
My son's now coming
Allison (31:51):
Oh, I love
Adam (31:52):
and when you can enter into a room, This is A two part
of it, but when you can enterinto something where you're
brand new and you can be firstday again at something and be
the rookie all over again,especially the more professional
or competent you are in yourskills.
If you're an expert atsomething, go down and get dumb
at something like, Be a rookiein the room and all of a sudden
(32:15):
you're nervous again.
You got butterflies, but you'realso more awake.
You're more alert and alive, andthen you start making other
connections through observationsand the rabbit trail goes down.
But yeah, so I wanted to mentionthat.
That is a big one.
Allison (32:30):
I love
Adam (32:31):
allison, it's been amazing spending time with you today.
We're gonna, we're gonna makesure that this goes out.
The, your resources that youprovide will be in the show
notes.
People can follow you.
The simple, practical action ofhearing your own voice, finding
these ways to increase yourawareness.
This is blessing somebody rightnow where do you want people to
find you
Allison (32:47):
Thank you Adam so much.
What a gift to talk to you andwhat a gift you're giving as
well.
Allison Hare dot com is mywebsite or Instagram, Allison
underscore Hare.
But thank you so very much forthis Oh and Late Learner
Podcast.
Late Learner.
Adam (33:02):
we'll include it all in the show notes, but if you're on
the fly, check her out right nowif she struck a chord for you,
god bless you.
We'll talk later.
Allison (33:08):
Thank you Adam.
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