EP 175: Exploring the Mystique of Childbirth with Nathan Riley

Dr. Nathan Riley is a board-certified OB-GYN and fellow of ACOG who left the medical industrial complex due to his disillusionment with the “standard of care” within the conventional maternity care model. This was hard because “going with the flow” of hospital-based practice was providing him financial security. On the other hand, standing in his truth from having sat with over 1000 births and connecting with women and their families has provided him a lifestyle more in alignment with fatherhood, deepening his connection with his wife, and caring for people in the way that he had anticipated long before stepping into practice.

Dr. Riley now focuses his time on upholding the traditional practice of midwifery. He supports midwives as a collaborative physician for midwives of all varieties in over twenty states. He is an advocate for home birth and still attends births for those in need. He boasts a C-section rate of <5% even while he was practicing within hospitals and higher-risk patients.

His mission is to uphold midwifery as the art that it is and to honor birth as a sacred process and the transition to parenthood as spiritual transformation. Dr. Riley empowers women to have babies on their own terms, using nature as our guide. He helps fathers embrace the opportunity to connect with birth and their partners through pregnancy and birth, encouraging them to go deeper versus distancing themselves from this stigmatized but magical rite of passage.

Dr. Riley is the father of two, the second of whom was born at home, and he is proudly married to his highschool sweetheart. In his spare time, he walks in the woods, makes Dad jokes, paints, and drinks coffee with amazing people.

About this episode:
Our journey takes us into the world of obstetrics and gynecology with our esteemed guest, Nathan Riley. Together, we peel back the layers of the birthing process, revealing insights into biogeometry, herbalism, and anthroposophic medicine. Nathan's holistic approach to maternal care highlights the imperative of understanding the complexities of human experiences and preserving the sanctity of childbirth.

Between the realms of birth and death, we find intriguing parallels and profound wisdom. Listen in as we explore the sacredness of these transitions, delving deep into the energetic components of childbirth, the influence of repressed trauma on the birthing experience, and the importance of intuition. We also discuss the responsibilities and joys of fatherhood, the significance of role-modeling for children, and the balance between understanding, compassion, and

Pick up a copy of my book Finally Thriving or purchase my audiobook here:
https://geni.us/FinallyThriving

Join my Finally Thriving Group Program waitlist here:
https://www.finallythrivingprogram.com/waitlist

Purchase Finally Thriving Here!
Get my Finally Thriving book here!

Finally Thriving Audiobook
Purchase the Finally Thriving audiobook here!

Finally Thriving Program
Are you ready to get out of a reactive survival mode and step into your natural state of thriving?

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

Follow me on Instagram:
@allisonpelot_

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel:
https://www.youtube.com/c/AllisonP

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:18):
Your life is your greatest work of art and it all
relates back to thesynchronicities.
Welcome to Integrate Yourself,everybody.
I'm your host, alison Palau.
You can find me atFinallyThrivingBookcom.
You can find my book there.
You can find my audio bookthere, as well as amazing

(00:40):
resources from the book likemeditations and vocal toning
sessions and movements that Irefer to in the book that you
can refer to through the websiteand integrate into your life by
practicing it.
That's why I put them on thewebsite, so that you would have
some really good resources forbeing able to practice that in

(01:02):
your life.
If you want to order my book orthe audio book, you can go
there to do that and find outmore information about the book
as well.
If you're interested in mycoaching services, you can go to
AlisonPalaucom and find myservices there.
I am currently getting ready tostart a new Finally Thriving

(01:23):
program class, which beginsAugust 21st.
It's going to be pretty amazing.
This is class three and thefirst two classes were
incredible.
I'm really excited to startthis next one.
It's going to be so much fun.
One thing I do with all mygroups before I start is I set

(01:47):
the energy tone for the group aspeople start to come in and I
get a feel for what everybodyneeds and the energy of the
group.
I will gift everybody with alittle gift.
I'm not going to tell you whatit is, it's a surprise.
I will pull a card for thegroup as well.
This one, I'm feeling like theenergy is going to be more about

(02:09):
creative abundance.
I've been getting so many peoplecome to me lately about really
learning how to tap into theirauthentic self and express
themselves, express their truthreally through their creative
expression.

(02:29):
Some of us it's reallyinteresting because we tend to
it's not that we don't createthings, and sometimes people
create amazing things from pasttrauma or suffering in the world
.
They've had some reallytraumatic experience and they
make art out of that and that'sbeautiful.

(02:50):
That's not the only way we haveto create.
That's not our only option.
I had someone the other day askme this question on a podcast
that I was on and they werereally confused because they're
like, well, wait, don't we?
You know we were talking aboutworking on our subconscious
stories and our belief systemsand as we lift those stories in

(03:12):
those programs within ourselves,then we have this unbridled
ability to just create from theheart and it comes really easy
and it's really joyful.
And he did not understand that.
He was like but wait, don'tpeople create, mostly in the

(03:33):
world, from a place of suffering, from past experiences they've
had that they've learned from?
Yeah, of course they do.
This has been our world andthere's nothing wrong with that.
I think creative expression isa great way to move through some
of that for ourselves and toexpress that trauma or that

(03:53):
experience so that we're notholding it in ourselves
absolutely.
The other part of this is thatwe don't always have to come
from that place.
It doesn't always have to befrom a place of suffering.
It can actually be from a placeof joy.
It can be from a place ofgratitude, a place where you are
receiving all the goodness inyour life.

(04:15):
You're receiving all thosebeautiful creative downloads and
you have this vivid imaginationthat really helps you create
anything from art in your lifeor just your life, which is a
creative endeavor.
You look at your life and that'swhat you see that you created.
It's the life that you'reliving now.

(04:36):
Some people look at that lifeand they're like oh my God, I
don't like this life, I don'twant this life.
That's when we know there is atime to make a change.
That's when we start reflectingon our life.
We start reflecting on reallywhat we want, what we deeply

(04:57):
desire, which is not always amaterial thing.
We reflect on that and then wethink about what can we focus on
that would give us more of whatwe want and what can we let go
of in our life?
As far as stories or oldprogramming goes, things we
learned or things that wereprojected onto us Mainly things

(05:20):
that you learned when you were achild.
You bring those into youradulthood and that's in your
subconscious.
You're not always aware ofthese things, but it is good to
clean that up and get rid of thethings, the reactions or
responses in your life that youreally don't need anymore and
start to live from more of yourauthentic truth.

(05:42):
That's how we become reallycreative.
That's how we bring that purecreativity through that's not
distorted because we're tryingto get.
When I say distorted, I meanreally.
It could be anything fromsomething that's totally
terrible to do to other peopleto.
It could even be just youwanting to get attention or

(06:05):
needing that attention that youdidn't get when you were a kid.
It could be needing to beaffirmed as an adult something
you may have not gotten.
We start giving ourselves thesethings that we didn't get when
we were kids.
It could just be as simple asthat Then.
Now you've brought in that partof yourself into the whole and

(06:26):
then you can create from a verypure place where you're not
really needing anything from itand you can just do it out of
the joy of doing it.
Now, if you get, if the outcomeor the result is that you get a
lot of attention from it or youget a lot of money from it,
that's fantastic.
That's kind of like what Iconsider icing on the cake.
But really, for someone to beable to receive something like

(06:49):
that and that much in thatgreater capacity, we really need
to make space in our ownconsciousness to be able to
accept that unconditionally,without needing anything or
feeling like we're just alreadyenough and we're already

(07:12):
abundant coming from that place.
So that's what I'm saying, and,yes, it may take us some steps
to get there, but that's what wework on in my class.
We not only work on that, but wealso work on, you know, our
self-care.
Really self-care and this isthe backbone of the program is
your wellness practice.
How well are you taking care ofyourself?

(07:33):
And that could mean anythingfrom what you're thinking 90% of
the day to how you're eating,to how you're moving, to what
you think about yourself, whatyou think about other people all
of this goes into the mix.
You know how much are youdimming yourself to fit in, how
much are you making yourselfsmall throughout the day.

(07:54):
That's not doing anybody elseany favors.
It's only hurting the peoplewho are gonna benefit from you
shining your light.
So when we start to realizethese things, we can show up as
ourselves, and we don't have toapologize for that right,

(08:14):
because we're doing it in arespectful, loving way.
So we move into more of a loveenergy and less of a fear energy
like motivation through fear,right, and so I, you know.
I just wanted to share thatwith you all because these are
things that have been cominginto my awareness lately and
what people are working on andneeding right now, and so I

(08:36):
thought that, my goodness, youknow, working on your wellness
practice will get you closer toyour creative expression, which
is really pure creativity isreally how you express yourself.
That's what creativity is allabout, and so if we come, come
from a place where we're takingcare of our self, we're taking
care of our wellness, then wecan do that right.

(08:59):
And so that's what we do in thefinally thriving program, and
we have lots of fun doing it,because I think that fun is a
big part of it too.
We tend to take everything soseriously, especially as it
relates to spiritual wellness.
It really isn't thatcomplicated.
Is there a lot of crazy thingsgoing in the world that are

(09:20):
complicated and hard tounderstand?
Yes, but there's a reason forthat.
It's set up that way for you tobe confused.
So we're going to make itsimple, we're going to make it
fun, and it's going to be easyfor you to get to know yourself
being your own energy, learnabout your own energy signature,

(09:40):
experience yourself this way,and then when you go out into
the world and you want to helpother people, you can do that
and it won't be overwhelming,right, and our bodies can handle
that too when we're in thatspace.
So this is, you know, a holisticprogram, and that what that's
what I wanted to offer people.

(10:00):
It's based on my book, finallythriving.
I wanted to offer anopportunity for people to be
able to dive deeper into some ofthese principles that I talk
about in the book aligning themind, connecting with the body
and learning how to listen totheir spirit, listening to their
inner knowing, trusting theirbody and focusing the energy of

(10:22):
the mind, expanding theimagination.
These are all keys to reallyliving an abundant, beautiful
life, and so I want to helpeverybody do that.
So if you want to be a part ofthat next group I'm starting
this next group August 21st ifyou want to do that, set up a

(10:43):
free call with me so we can talkabout what your needs are
specifically and I'll get yousigned up and I'll tell you more
about the class and what youcan expect from it.
It's in a 12 week course incoaching programs.
So you get a course with thecoaching program, which will be
a module every week that you canuse and practice.

(11:04):
You can integrate your practicewith that module and then we're
going to follow up with thatwith a live coaching session
every week.
So it's a live group coachingsession.
I've got now four guestspeakers scheduled for that and
then you have coaching with meon the other weeks as well, and
this has just been prettyamazing.

(11:25):
We also we do story work, we dojournal prompting as well, which
really helps integrate thesubconscious into the logical as
well, and I'm a sure more aboutthat in the class.
We get clear in our intention,our values.
Those are all the foundationsof a healthy life, and then from

(11:48):
there, we learn how to connectwith our body, we learn how to
care for our body, we learn howto trust our body and then learn
how to really tap into yourintuition.
You know, like everybody'stalking about these psychic
gifts that are coming online.
I'm going to teach you how toget closer to that, how to hone
into that, how to practice that.

(12:09):
Basically, you know, just foryour own benefit, so that it
makes your life easier.
So set up that call with me ifyou want to sign up.
I'd love to have you there.
I invite all of you to be theretoday.
My guest is Nathan Riley.
He's a holistic OBGYN and he isincredible.

(12:33):
I had so much fun talking tohim today.
He is really an incrediblespeaker.
He has so much amazinginformation to share about the
birthing process.
Today we talk abouttransformation through birth,
what it is about birth thatmakes it so sacred, that the
process of it and we forget thatin our daily lives.

(12:54):
But the birthing process iseverything it's.
It's all about creation, youknow, and it's an amazing,
magical kind of thing.
You know.
It's just like incredible, butwe, you know, we don't think
about it like that as much.
We do when we're in the moment.
I remember when my kids wereborn, exactly, I was in the

(13:15):
moment.
I was like wow.
And this year my story ontoday's show too about also my
own personal experience of beinga little bit traumatized in the
birthing experience, of havingmy, my son, my first son,
especially.
But then I share that.
You know, that is part of thelearning experience and I was

(13:37):
very naive back then too.
So if I were to do it all overagain, I would totally hire a
midwife and I would definitelyhire Nathan as well.
He would be the number oneperson on my list, but
unfortunately I did not havethat option when I was that age.
So that's okay.
But if you now he's availableand if you are looking for

(14:02):
somebody who can teach you aboutall this stuff, about the
holistic perspective on birth,and it's quite amazing.
You know what he shares and Ilove his perception on the
birthing process, thetransformation, that
transformation that the parentsgo through as well and how it

(14:26):
changes your life, what our kidscan teach us, and we also get
into the opposite in the thatspectrum and the death about
death and how sacred thatprocess is to, and and how they
just both things just reallycause you to slow down in your
life and really reflect and getto the heart of what really

(14:50):
matters.
That's more of that.
We talk about that, but so muchmore.
This was an incredibleconversation, so I hope you
enjoy this as much as I did.
Without further ado, it is myhonor and my pleasure to
introduce you to Nathan Riley.
Everybody, enjoy your life isyour greatest work of art.

(15:29):
Today I'm here with a veryspecial guest, dr Nathan Riley.
He is an MD and fellow of ACOG,thank you.
Has a truly holistic OBGYNpractice, upholding natural

(15:50):
healing and the midwife freecare model of birth.
He brings a fresh perspectiveto natural fertility awareness,
natural birth, family planningand what mothers and fathers can
do to have a sacred birth.
Thank you so much, nathan, forcoming on.
We've been connected for sometime now and it's so nice to get
to just talk with you one onone about all this stuff it is

(16:13):
very it is a huge honor.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
I feel like if you're invited on to Allison's podcast
, you're doing something right.
The one sort of one of thethreads that kind of binds us is
the, the Czech Institute, theCzech family.
A lot of the people that youand I engage with regularly are
either they've trained with theCzech Institute or they have

(16:35):
some experience working withPaul or Angie as clients or
whatever else, and I want togive them a shout out, because I
would never have been able todo what I'm doing now without
their support, and I was theresort of impromptu doctor for
their second birth, and we gotto know each other and have
become dear friends ever sinceand I've met outstanding people

(16:57):
through that world and you'rejust another example of that.
So thank you, thank you forhaving me and letting me share
my story a little bit today oh,thank you, nathan.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yes, same here.
I feel the same.
You're wonderful and I'm so, sograteful to be connected with
you.
Before we get into what we'regoing to talk about today, can
you share a little bit more,expand on your story, how you
got into this sacred work aroundthe birthing process, because
that's really what you're doing,and you're doing it very

(17:26):
differently than a standardobgyn would do it.
So I would love for you toshare more about that with my
audience yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
You know, I think most people, when they hear the
term obgyn, images of whitecoats and blood work and
ultrasounds and hospitals andsterility and all that stuff
comes to mind.
Because for many women nowadaysthey're still having babies
under the care of an obgyn andthat care looks in a certain way
it has a sort of there's amotif there and that's a lot of

(18:00):
controlling aspects of nature.
You know, in a clinical orhospital setting that doesn't
necessarily feel great, but it'skind of what we've got.
That's what people say, don'tyou know it's safe there, it's,
it's all these things.
Well, my story as anobstetrician so obgyn joins do
two things.

(18:20):
We do women's health throughthe gynecology lens and we do
birth care, pregnancy andpostpartum care and we attend
childbirth for roughly 99 point.
99% of babies are under thatcare.
And when I was in medical school, everybody has that moment
where they get to, you know,deliver a baby.

(18:41):
It's not a pizza.
You don't deliver a baby.
You're there to catch the baby,to make sure the baby doesn't
hit the ground.
But when you're payingattention you're like, oh my
gosh, what a vulnerable space tobe in.
This woman has her legs open instirrups, flab on her back.
A baby is emerging from whatprevious to that was a sexual
organ.
You know it's a vagina, whichis the inside guys, the vulva's

(19:04):
on the outside.
There's this opening, a baby isemerging, and then the opening
closes and now there's thisliving thing on her chest,
hopefully and I mean hopefullyon her chest, not on like a
beauty warmer across the room.
Right when you're there withthat, you're like whoa, there's
like a mystique around us.
This is really reallycompelling stuff, whereas

(19:27):
elsewhere in medicine you alwayshave like the answer you know,
the kidneys show that they'redysfunctional in this way and
the images show this, or thebiopsy shows this there's no
answer to birth.
And that mystique is reallywhat propelled me into the field
.
And the story I tell time andtime again is that then that
mystique starts to like kind ofdissipate and now you're kind of

(19:48):
the person controlling nature,just like farmers were forced to
accept controlling how theiryields and their cornrows were
going by adding fertilizer andtrying to implement these
various technologies withtilling and whatever you know,
pesticides, whatever it is.
And I wasn't okay with that.
I kind of felt like there's amystery here, like where's the

(20:12):
mystery?
Can't we be curious?
And that was never reallyincentivized for me and it's not
to the discredit, necessarilyof the medical industrial
complex.
It was maybe me just beingextra curious and really being
thoughtful and in compassionatearound this thing that I still
would never have an answer to asa man.
And fast forward, I've done.
I did my residency, I did myfellowship which is an end of,

(20:35):
you know, hospice and palliativemedicine and I maintained that
little kernel of like NathanRiley-ness.
There was something about thisthat I was going to hold near
and dear and I was going toexplore and investigate and be
thoughtful and contemplativeabout this process for the rest
of my life and so, fortunately,I preserved that kernel and it
wasn't until, you know, fastforward, I've done all the check

(20:57):
training.
I've done biogeometry training.
I've done all these herbalismtraining.
I've done all this stuff.
I've met so many great peoplelike you in the field who've
given me different language totalk about divinity around the
human experience and Steiner'swork, from the physical, etheric
, astral to spiritual.
I have all this language now.

(21:17):
I actually recently startedstudying anthroposophic medicine
, which made me optimistic again, because what anthroposophic
medicine does is it starts withthe question of what is life.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
We're not talking about abortion, we're talking
about, like, what is differentbetween a plant and a rock.
That's actually where you startyour training in this extension
of allopathic medicine, whichis, you know from Steiner's work
, anthroposophic medicine.
And if you can't answer thequestion as to what makes the
plant alive and the rock notalive, how are we supposed to

(21:49):
attend to something way morecomplex than rocks or plants,
which is the human organism?
We've jumped over animalsaltogether.
We are human beings.
We have so much breath in howwe interact with our environment
that to simplify birth to amedical procedure never sat well
.

(22:09):
Finding anthroposophic medicinenow gave me new language and new
insights into how I could sortof show up in a maybe a more
well-rounded way as a humanbeing caring for another human
being.
Contrast that study of what islife with medical training where
you start.
Day one my day one was openingup a cadaver and looking at her

(22:34):
internal organs.
She happened to have died fromher varian cancer and she had
gotten all this chemo and herinsides were completely
plastered, all this sort ofsticky sort of former living
tumor growth in her belly.
And we're now trying tounderstand the human body from a
dead rock, essentially.
And then images, the spatialimaging.

(22:57):
It's not a living thing you'relooking at, you're not looking
at a system, Blood work.
It would be like trying to dosurgery on a stream.
Everything is changing momentto moment, nanosecond by
nanosecond Biopsies.
It's a piece of dead tissue.
We can't understand the humanexperience looking at dead
tissue.
We have to look at it as abio-dynamic organism.

(23:21):
And so that's really kind ofbrought me full circle, to be
given permission to be morecurious again and to go back to
the very fundamentals of why areyou alive and why is this
person not alive?
What the hell is the differencethere?

(23:42):
And that really means so muchin attending to birth and I know
you've had a couple of kids.
Maybe you can share somereflections on your own births
and we can start there.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Oh, wow.
Yeah, there's so much that yousaid right there that I want to
touch upon, and I will say thatI had the unique experience of
working on a cadaver in collegeas well, and I went to a school
called Radford University and itused to be a nursing school and
then they got these cadaversthat were donated to them and,

(24:15):
being in the pre-physicaltherapy program, I got to I
don't know why we got to work oncadavers, but for some reason
we did in our anatomy class and,yeah, I was like an older woman
who had passed and her uteruswas tiny.
It was like that.
It was like that big.
I was like that does like what?

(24:36):
And so, yes, like you're saying,I agree with you.
It's like you're seeing thingsin a static state and they're
not really there.
Isn't that life force, energythere?
And that's what we need to belooking at more from that
perspective instead of thestatic state, which I think the
medical industry does so much.
It's like they're studyingsomething and that's not.

(24:59):
That doesn't have any life init.
That doesn't make sense.
So there's that, that's onething I wanted to point out.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
And then the other thing was yeah, go ahead.
Organs that expands andcontracts expands and contracts
on a regular basis, notrhythmically throughout the
whole, your whole lifetime, butperiods of time.
There's this expansion andcontraction, just like the human
heart, but we treat it as this,like a part of the car, you

(25:26):
know, like this is your wombspace.
This is a valuable organ and itonly looked that big when you
look at a woman, but inpregnancy it's like this big.
How is that possible?

Speaker 1 (25:37):
I know that's what I thought.
I was like whoa, it can expandthat much.
Oh my God, you know that wasreally really interesting to see
.
So from that, that was, I think, it.
You know it was valuable for meto see what it, what everything
looked like from the inside.
You know, like that was aunique experience.

(25:57):
And then you brought up theearly on.
You were saying that you hadexperience with palliative care,
you had training there, and itjust reminds me of when my, when
my dad passed away a couple ofyears ago it'll be I think the
22nd is actually February 22nd2020 is when he passed away.

(26:18):
So I don't know what today is,but it worked close for
somewhere in that realm.
So, yeah, so it's reallyinteresting that we're talking
about this today, because Ithink what came to me when I was
there for him and helped himpass it felt like a birth, like
the birthing process, you know.
So it was like the same side,or the two different sides of

(26:42):
the same coin and I was like,wow, okay, this is a sacred
moment, just as birthing is asacred moment.
We're helping someonetransition into the next
dimension of reality, right, andso that makes sense, that you
would have that kind of trainingas well, as you were sharing
that.
I was like, yeah, that makessense, but to most people it

(27:04):
might not, because birth anddeath seem like so opposite to
each other.
But I feel like they're verysimilar, you know, but we don't
get to, you know, we it's kindof it is kind of normal to be
around a birth, you know, likeyou can be, you witness it.
Now it's very accessible to dothat.
Death not so much.

(27:25):
You know, we don't get theopportunity to have that sacred
moment around somebody who'sdying.
So I just thought I'd bringthat up because that was really
interesting that you said that.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I obviously feel the same way.
There was something compellingabout having lost my own father.
I was in medical school when hepassed away.
He was being treated formultiple myeloma, which is a
type of bone marrow originatingcancer, and it just riddles the
body with all sorts of tumorsand the bones and I mean it's a

(28:01):
nightmare.
And I remember my dad.
He was this big.
We grew up and I grew up inPittsburgh.
He was this big rust belt kindof blue collar worker.
He was always this toweringgiant to me and as I saw him
dying over years he became bigenough for me to carry him like
a baby into the bathroom and puthim on the toilet.
This big guy with all thismuscle and big bones and big

(28:23):
sausage fingers, and I thinkthat that imprinted on me
something as well.
You know, when you're with aperson in their final moments of
dying, I actually think you cando quite a bit of harm by
interfering in that process.
You know we may not have thelanguage for it, but there is a
sense that if I get in the wayof the hard work that my loved

(28:46):
one is doing right now in thedying process, I could
potentially set them up for someharm in whatever comes after
that.
The Buddhists would say youknow, they can't live out their
dharma if you interfere withthat process of suffering, and
suffering has a broad scope ofmeaning.
But in that regard you don'tgive opioids to a practicing

(29:08):
Buddhist at the end of life,because the opioids, like
morphine or whatever, detachesthem from the process of dying.
I mean literally it discursivesyou from it.
So what if we looked at birththe same way?
What if we intervene, you know,through the lens of Stan Groff?
He has this perinatal matricestheory and Stan Groff was really
famous for his work, hiscollaborative work with Joan

(29:28):
Halifax, who later became aTibetan Buddhist monk.
They were using LSD for end oflife and they collected all this
data.
But it was right in the 60swhen suddenly there was this
kabash on LSD and the otherpsychedelics.
So his work was really reallypivotal for me at the end of
life.
But then I startedinvestigating further and he
actually was also thinking aboutbirth.

(29:49):
So this guy was doing both andI think he was a psychiatrist,
if I recall.
I can't recall completely, butit doesn't really matter what
your specialty is.
You can download things as Ihave, but in birth Stan Groff
had this theory that, okay,you're inside this amniotic
inverse, everything's fine.
And then stuff starts closingin on you because you're getting

(30:10):
bigger and the space is only sobig and there's no way out.
Like, how traumatizing is that?
You know to be trapped.
And then suddenly a littlelight opens up at the end of the
tunnel and those cosmicoppressive forces you start to
grapple with.
If I don't get to that light,I'm gonna die.
And so you do die, but you'rereemerged as a human being.

(30:32):
That's not to say you're not ahuman inside the womb, but this
is a thought experiment.
After that those cosmicoppressive forces are resolved
and you go through this deathrebirth cycle.
You emerge now in the Earth'sschool and you've got 90 years
or so to do whatever you're hereto do.
Not that that's like your lifepurpose.
It could mean that, but it'sactually far greater than that.

(30:54):
Why are you here?
Why are you alive?
Why are you different from theplants?
It goes back into that what Iwas saying before.
If we think about that in thereverse direction, in death.
And then actually you emerge,you see the light and you go
towards the light.
It's kind of this repeatedcycle.
Why wouldn't we overlap birthand death?

(31:15):
These are two incrediblyimportant points in our life.
I have the privilege of beingable to sit and perhaps
contemplate and maybe eventuallywrite something about it in the
future.
I think everybody's a littletoo quick to write their books
Before I can actually sayanything.
That's super profound, butthere is definitely the essence

(31:37):
of birth in death and vice versa.
I don't know if death is thebeginning or death is the end.
You'd have to say of what.
The next question is whathappens when we die?
Where did we come from when wewere born?
Just so many great questionscome out of that.
The exercise through thesecurious questions, I think, is
what makes this work sointeresting for anybody in the

(31:59):
wellness space.
This is really where it's at.
It's not your carbs and yourcalories and all of that.
What the hell?
Why am I alive?
What am I doing here?
How am I going to stay alive?
At some point I'm not going tobe alive anymore.
Why does that happen?

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Right.
No, those are the big questions.
I know that's what's beendriving me for so long.
I don't understand sometimeswhy people aren't curious about
that.
It's like, why wouldn't you be?
Yeah, like you said, they'revery similar.

(32:34):
If we really think about it,they're very similar in sacred
and much alike birth and deathprocess.
I want to talk because yourspecialty is the birth process.
You're there for people and youhold space and you explain it.
When I heard you talking aboutthis on Amy Fournier's show
Awakening Aphrodite, you weresaying we were having a

(32:57):
discussion, we were on a paneltogether and talking about how
you're doing less actually as anOBGYN and practitioner Letting
the birthing process happen theway it needs to happen for that
person, for the baby.

(33:18):
I love that because my ownbirthing process with my two
kids the first time I was reallyyoung, like we were talking
before the show you hadmentioned I was primed for that.
I was perfect age.
I did feel like that, but I alsofelt like I was so naive about

(33:40):
what was about to happen.
I just didn't, and times weredifferent.
It just was when we didn't.
I didn't have access to thethings that are available now
for women that are just amazing.
I just felt like a little bitin the dark and I thought I was
an athlete, a gymnast.
For a long time I thought thiswould be easy.
My mom had an easy time withher births, although she says

(34:04):
that, but she was actually putto sleep for her births.
That's a little different.
That's the way they did it backthen.
Yeah, she's like oh, it wasgreat.
I'm like I'm sure it was.
But so in my mind I was likethis would be easy.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
What's that?
I'll add something to that whenyou're finished.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Okay, yeah, we could talk about that too.
That's a whole nother can ofworms there.
So for me, it took me a reallyit was a very stress.
I'll say my first pregnancy wasextremely stressful.
I had, you know, from being agymnast, real tight hips, and it
was.
It took me a really long time todilate and I was in a lot of

(34:48):
pain and I was in labor forabout 24 hours and they kept
sending I would go to thehospital and they'd send me home
.
They did that three times andfinally I was like I'm not going
home, I'm having this baby, andI started to scream because I
was in so much pain.
It really felt like I was beingpulled from both directions,
you know.
And later I'm realizing that Iwas having back spasms.

(35:11):
So that was, you know, not onlywas I in labor, I was also
having back spasms, debilitatingback spasms, so, but I'd never
felt like I'd never felt a backspasm before that.
So I didn't know what washappening.
I thought, oh, this is justpart of labor and this is
horrible.
So there was all this stressand then I was in the hospital

(35:32):
and I started screaming and thenurse told me to shut up and I
was like what?
And yeah, and it really andthis relates to what my journey
is now with voice, because I wasreally, you know, in that
moment where I should have hadevery right to scream as loud as

(35:57):
I wanted to or make any noisethat I needed to, because noises
are part of birth.
Now that I've learned down theroad, like those are actually,
you know, a portal in a way.
The sounds that you makethrough birthing as well, in
order to help the facilitate it,because we've been using these
kind, you know, sounds, certainsounds, forever with women, and

(36:18):
so, to be to have my voice justlike censored, like that, it
just felt like, of course, I wasyoung, I didn't know what to do
, and then I just felt like so,so suppressed, and that made the
birthing much worse, and so itjust kind of kept going downhill
from there and then my waterbroke and I was in so much pain.

(36:41):
They were like I was like,please give me it.
I didn't know any much aboutchemicals and stuff back then,
so I was, please give me anepidural.
I'm in so much pain and I'mlike I'm not sure we can do that
, but then they decided the lastminute to do it and it, you
know, of course, created a lotof issues for my lower spine
later on too.
So my son, my first son, cameout with a mercant.

(37:05):
He had inhaled merconium and ofcourse, you know, there was so
much stress going on.
It makes sense that that wouldhave happened so, right away the
the respiratory therapist,which did a wonderful job, and
I'm very grateful for them theytook him away and cleaned him
out and saved his life, becausehe wasn't breathing when he came
out, and then he had to be inthe, in the, in the Nick unit,

(37:31):
for three days, and so it wasquite a stressful event and part
of me was very disconnectedbecause I'd just gone through
all of this with my body and Iwas like, oh my gosh.
You know, it was hard for me toconnect with my son right then
because I had gone through somuch trauma and I just felt
hollow, you know.

(37:51):
And then I would say, about aweek later it kicked in that, oh
my God, okay, I can do this.
You know I'm doing this.
Yes, I feel connected to mybaby, but it took a good week
and I, just because I justdidn't, I just was like, oh, I
don't know if I can do this, youknow.

(38:13):
So that was my first birthingexperience and you know I had
taken LeMau's classes and allthose things, but I didn't have
a midwife, which if I were to doit all again, I would have
hired a midwife for sure anddone it differently.
But again, we go through thesethings because we're supposed to
, you know, and so I honoredthat and I learned from it, and
so you know that was, that wasmy experience.

(38:36):
But I will say that the way youdescribe a lot of the people
that you work with, it soundslike so much more joyful.
When you talk about ox, is itoxytocin that gets produced is
what creates that love and thatjoy in the moment.
Yeah, yeah.
So I would love to for you toshare more about that as well

(38:57):
and how that makes theexperience different than like a
very stressful experience whichis more of a medical procedure
experience.
Right, is what it felt like forme.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Yeah, I'm taking notes here because you brought
up so many great points.
I mean, in just that storyalone there's so much to talk
about and for anybody listening.
I don't want anybody ever tohear stories and then feel bad
about how their birth went.
You know, one of the mostimportant things that you said
is hey, it all happened to me.
For that, in that way, for somereason, I really believe that.

(39:32):
I really believe that, despiteevery one of your efforts,
sometimes things just aren'tgoing to go the way that you
thought or hoped or dreamt thatthey would.
That doesn't mean it was a badbirth.
It's just like a psychedelicjourney.
If you've ever done a dose ofmushrooms or LSD or even in some
really deep, certain breathwork practices, it may be hard

(39:56):
but it wasn't like that suckedor what a bad trip it was or
whatever else.
You were taken through thatexperience for all of the right
reasons, and so that's notdiminishing how hard it was for
you, allison, or anybody outthere listening.
Even Angie Czech, who we wereboth familiar with and I was her

(40:18):
doctor she ended up with arepeat C-section after desiring
a home birth, vaginal birthafter a prior C-section had a
midwife, had it all done, right.
She was in labor for like 36hours and it just didn't happen.
The baby was like I'm not doingit, yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
That's what I feel like is going on.
You said that perfectly.
The baby is deciding how theywant to come out right.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
Yeah, I had this really interesting experience
with a client one time who hadgone into a regression therapy
with her therapist and she wasstruggling with having had a
C-section and she was beatingherself up over it.
And how did this happen?
I did all the right things,blah, blah, blah.
There's a lot that's not inyour control.

(41:04):
So in this therapy session sheactually managed to somehow go
into the womb with her baby,which had already been born.
So she was back in there.
The baby was indicating intothe pelvis I didn't want to go
through there and she looks downinto her own pelvis, sitting
next to her fetus inside thewomb, and sees what she
described as cobwebs and a dark,damp cellar.

(41:26):
It just didn't look like a safeplace to go through.
So the baby said I had to comeout the other way.
Oh, wow, and it turns out, yeah, from this regression therapy
session.
She apparently had a whole bunchof sexual abuse in her
childhood that had never beenopened up.
It was repressed and it wasstored.

(41:47):
I don't know what we say.
We can use all this funnylanguage that says we've read
fancy books and nobody reallyfucking knows.
Sorry for cursing, no, it'sokay.
It's like something stored inher body and the baby knew that.
And the baby was saying, mama,I'm not going through there, I
got to come out the other way.
So if you ended up with aC-section, it has nothing to do
with you.
Now, if you maybe aren'tworking with a check coach or a

(42:14):
holistic lifestyle coach or adoctor like me who has some
understanding of how we can dialin your diet, your movement,
your breathing, your hydration,your mindset, your sleep, those
are all things that are in yourcontrol.
And if you haven't done any ofthose and you develop
gestational diabetes and yourbabies haven't heard time or
whatever, maybe we could havedone something better.
But it's also water under thebridge.

(42:35):
There's no shame.
It's the birth that you had andhopefully there is some silver
lining.
There's a lesson to be takenfrom that.
That story that I told you aboutthe baby that didn't want to go
through, that pelvis that hadall this whatever you want to
call it, the energetic bad juju,whatever you want to call it
that story is actually like amedicine story for so many

(42:58):
people that come into mypractice because it wasn't your
fault it probably is neveranybody's fault when they have a
C-section.
We also have a medicalindustrial complex that is
probably too low of a thresholdto do surgery.
But all of that aside, evenwhen women go full in on healthy
lifestyle, they have all themoney in the world and they want

(43:18):
to have the best doctor, bestmidwife.
Sometimes things just don't gothe way that you want it to, and
there is always a story,there's always a unknown reason
that maybe you won't even knowuntil you're on your deathbed
and something comes to you, thisepiphany.
You get a signal from afar, andthat's okay too.
But there is where thiscuriosity comes from.

(43:39):
It's not just doctors are badand they do C-sections.
Sometimes babies have actuallythe say in this, and that's that
yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
I love that you said that.
That makes so much sense to me.
Yeah, because there's so manyother energetic components.
I mean, why wouldn't it be?
This is birth.
This is huge deal.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
We don't know what causes labor Allison.
We don't even know what startslabor, let alone why.
A baby would decide I'm notgoing out through the vagina.
And for those women out there,sometimes babies die in
childbirth as well, and it couldbe that the baby was unfit for
the process.
I think that that actually is apart of being mortal and that's
not a popular opinion.
But furthermore, for women whoare abjectly refusing C-section,

(44:24):
their baby might say okay, I'mgoing to leave and come back
when we can do this a differentway, because I'm not going
through there for whateverreason.
So the baby died in thechildbirth process.
We blame it on the woman formaking a bad decision or the
doctors for not doing the rightsurgery or whatever else, when
it could have just been the babyhad this plan all along.
I'm not going through there andI'll just come back when you're

(44:46):
ready, when you're ready to dothis right, because I'm not
going through that pelvis.
Who knows, who knows.
This is why this is cool.
I don't want to say it's fun tothink about, because nobody
wants to have to honor a passingbaby Like God.
What a traumatic, horriblething to go through Sometimes.
It's not.
You don't have that say, welike to think that you're in

(45:06):
charge, through a reductive lens, of childbirth, but there's a
lot we don't know, and that doesmake this a little bit more
interesting and fun to kind ofpontificate.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
Absolutely.
Yeah, we don't think of babiesas being pure energy, pure
consciousness coming in.
They know already what's goingon, probably better than we do,
and I have worked with clientsbefore who've lost babies during

(45:38):
childbirth or before, and thenthey have another soul that
wants to come in, and verysuccessfully.
So that does happen.
I see what you're saying there.
Yeah, I've seen that happen andthrough.
I mean, my practice isdifferent than yours, of course,
but the people that I work withare.
You know, there was a stretchof time where I was working with

(46:00):
a lot of women that were tryingto get pregnant, and then that
happened to a few of them and itwas really heartbreaking, but
also it allowed them to createthe space to grow during that
span of time, and then they,then another soul, hopped in and

(46:20):
presented themselves.
So that was really beautifultoo.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Yeah, totally, and I think a lot of women more so
than men because they're growinga baby, like they're starting
to get little inklings, theirintuition starts kicking in
again when they get pregnant.
And all of that conditioningthat they've been told.
You know, we know best, we knowthe images show this and the
labs show this and theultrasound or whatever shows

(46:45):
this.
A lot of women are pushing backon that because their intuition
is telling them I don't know ifthat's the right way to do it
they're baby, they're incommunication with their baby at
all times and it's not going tocome to you like a text message
necessarily.
It's going to be a feeling inyour solar plexus, in your gut.
Something's not right aboutthis.
When that intuition isdismissed, let's say a doctor

(47:10):
comes in and says I'm sorry, Ihave to check your baby, and the
woman says no, I don't wantyour hands in there.
And they say we have to do itfor the baby and they have
forced your legs open, pull yourlegs up to your shoulder.
The partners asked to becomplicit in this process.
That also can lead to a lot oftrauma.
So there's a lot of traumahappening in this space, not
just in how we give birth, butalso the way that the system I'm

(47:34):
using air quotes on my endtreats this as a medical
procedure.
So there's a lot of women youmay be able to pet them.
A lot of my friends, even mywife, wasn't really thrilled
with her first birth, which wasan undisturbed, so to speak,
unmedicated, natural birth inthe hospital.
The second was at home and itwas actually very healing.
But there was something aboutthe experience I got the sense

(47:56):
hearing her tell her birth storyand sort of finding some
closure to that that she didn'treally feel witnessed in that
process.
Her intuition wasn'tnecessarily treated as
authoritative knowledge andsomething about.
I'm putting words in her mouth,but I've heard this from so
many other women.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
No, I felt that way as well.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
Yeah, definitely, and I mean I got a little hint of
that from your story.
When we aren't treating womenas the sacred power spots that
they are, they're about to bringa baby into the world, when
we're not treating that as moreof a sacred unfolding, as
opposed to treating it like amedical procedure, a lot of
trauma is happening there.
So we have generations of womennow who are having babies in

(48:38):
the hands of well, goodintentioned midwives and doctors
, but they're not really beingpresent and bearing witness to
what this person that they'rethere to care for they took an
oath to care for.
They're not really bearingwitness to that.
They're just focused on thephysical reality of babies
coming out heart rates, bloodwork, blah, blah, blah, all that
stuff and they lose the bigpicture.

(48:58):
And when we lose that bigpicture, I think women leave the
experience feeling likesomething wasn't right.
So what I do in my practiceactually a big part of my work
in Beloved Holistics is helpingpeople to reclaim their power.
There's a lot of responsibilitythat comes with being pregnant,
but if you take responsibilityfor your actions what is

(49:18):
controllable you also have toaccept the outcomes.
If you've done everything inyour power, then the outcomes
actually aren't important.
You can just do your very best,and that is a deconditioning
process when women findthemselves pregnant In your case
, at age 28,.
You find yourself pregnant andsuddenly now you have to make
decisions that are going to lastthis entire lifetime for this

(49:38):
child and perhaps the lifetimeof their children, through
genetic imprinting orepigenetics, transgenerational
trauma being passed down, all ofthat stuff.
So there's a lot more to thisthan what does the ultrasound
show and what does your doctorhave to say.
What do you feel inside?
And whatever you feel you haveto be prepared to act on,
because nobody's going to takecare of this baby later.

(50:00):
So let's start practicingsaying no.
Let's start practicing sayingfuck yes when things just feel
right or wrong.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
I love that.
That's something I've just nowstarted doing in my life and I'm
50.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
Me too.
Just the other day I was likethis doesn't feel right, I'm
going to not do this thinganymore.
But is that okay?
You have to get permission fromsomebody out there, I guess, to
do the thing, that we need.
It's a journey, everything isceremony, this whole thing.
We're all just trying to figureit out.
There's nobody out there withthe answer.
You have the answer as much asanybody else.

(50:39):
We're just here as doctors andmidwives to provide you with
additional information so thatyou can be sure about your
decision and you can feel likeyou've turned over every rock
possible, from fertility all theway through parenting.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
Yeah, what are your thoughts, nathan on?
Because I believe that even ifwe have these experiences and
some of it we have no controlover like you said, with the
outcome, making peace with thatand then healing the parts that
need to be healed from that canactually help our kids that

(51:15):
we've had and the trauma theymay have experienced.
I feel like by healing myselfand going through taking these
opportunities for self-growth,the energy with them changes.
They feel that too.

(51:35):
Even if you have made mistakesas a parent or you feel like
you've messed up, you can alwaysrectify that by changing the
energy around it.
What do you think about that?

Speaker 2 (51:51):
Yeah, I was so deeply present with your words that I
kind of lost the question, but Ithink I get the question
because I live it every day.
We've got a three-year-old anda one-year-old and we had a home
birth in our second, 50 feetfrom where I'm sitting, from the
moment that that baby emerges.
I'm going to just speak fromthe lens of a father.

(52:13):
Not very many men are modeledwhat fatherhood actually means.
You're not just the person inyour household.
Perhaps if it's a let's say,it's a traditional household.
You've got the white picketfence, you've got a portion,
then you've got an SUV, whatever, and you're the breadwinner,

(52:33):
you're the man.
You're big and strong, you'vetaken care of your physique, you
have, you're, a crossfit,whatever, I don't know whatever.
You've got it all dialed in.
Nobody ever tells you what itreally means to be a dad,
because all of that stuff isgreat being a provider for the
family and being strong and notcrying at every sad point in the

(52:55):
movie, whatever you've beentrained to do by your dad, your
grandfather, all the men in yourlife fine.
But when you are a dad, likenow, you are holding your baby
and you're looking at them andthey are screaming in your face
and you have nothing to offerthem except presence and
grounding.
What the fuck is actually therefor the dads Like?

(53:16):
Who is actually helping us gothrough that?

Speaker 1 (53:18):
Not many people yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
I'm going to be launching a course in the coming
months.
I don't know when this episodeis going to air, but it's called
the Born Free Method andthere's a whole unit for the
dads or the partners, becausenot every relationship is a man
and a woman necessarily, but theperson who's not carrying the
baby has an extra diligencethere, or there's an extra level
of self-development andself-identification, because

(53:44):
you're going to have to give apiece of you to this little baby
who's going to call you dadliterally for the rest of their
life.
It doesn't matter if you're anabsentee or you're the most
involved father in the world.
You are their father andthey're going to treat you like
that.
What does that mean?
It means learning how to slowdown and be present with your
kids and love them through thedarkest times so that they know

(54:08):
how to relate to other peoplewhen those other people are
going through dark things.
It's not stoicism I don't carewhat Seneca and all those Ryan
Holiday's book and Tim Ferrissand all that's like stoicism is
bullshit.
It is a part of what is to be afather being stoic while a baby
is screaming at you and feelingokay, to be vulnerable with

(54:31):
them and to cry when it's hardto your partner, to be able to
be angry and frustrated and toactually emote, showing this
child that you have the fullrange of emotions.
You're not a statue out therelifting weights.
You are a human being who'sjust doing your best.
That modeling comes through andthere's a couple people in my

(54:51):
life that I think have done itreally well.
I think Kyle Kingsbury is adear friend of mine.
He and I talk about parentingon a daily basis and we're still
both trying to figure out.
But when I leave his house Iknow that that guy has been
through some really hard thingsand he shows up with his kids in
the most loving, kind, soft way.
The guy's 6'4".

(55:12):
He's built like a Greek god,but he can be so vulnerable and
give you the best hugs andkisses that you've ever had.
That's the type of work in themodeling that I'm trying to also
provide dads in the space,because your woman is going to
have a baby.
This is way more than that.
You are going through aspiritual transformation and

(55:32):
archetypal transformationthrough and through.
If you're only worried aboutthe moment of birth, which goes
by like that, you're solelygoing to be sorely unprepared
for having to give a piece ofyourself for the first time to
this little baby.
To answer your question nowthat I've given this 4-hour

(55:57):
diatribe, I will say that yourkids are going to learn how to
know themselves.
They're going to betterunderstand how to know other
people, how to treat otherpeople and how to show up,
taking responsibility forthemselves, their feelings, what

(56:17):
they say, and the integritythat we're lacking in the world,
the compassion that we'relacking in the world.
Being happy and confident inwho you are that is really, I
think, at the forefront of mymind every time I have any
interaction with my kids,because they're going to learn
everything from me, includingwhen it's okay to cry, when it's

(56:40):
not okay to cry, when it's okayto smile, when it's okay to be
unhappy, whenever we need to beable to show up as our authentic
selves and not give them somefacade as to what a man or a
woman, for that matter issupposed to be.
We are still sexual beings.
We are still desperately inlove with the person who gave
birth to you.
If you're looking from the lensof a father we are going to,

(57:03):
somebody like Kyle Kingsburycould walk in through the door.
He will have to rip my fuckinghead off before he gets to my
kids.
That is okay to also be veryproductive, but we need to give
them the.
We have to encourage them to bewho they are, to explore and to
continue to be curious and tosee the world through a child's
eyes.
I actually think that's what wedesperately need in the world.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Yeah, I agree with that so much.
Yeah, it's being the role modelfor our kids that we're just
being ourselves, we're showingthem how to be themselves, but
they don't know.
If we have put up a facade, itbecomes very confusing for kids.
They don't know.
It's very hard for them todecipher between what's real and

(57:45):
what's not.
Then when they get out into theworld, it gets even more
confusing.
It's better to be honest withyour kids and put it out there,
but also be apparent too andfind the balance there.
Yeah, I mean, my husband hasbeen.
He's like the best dad and Ijust really am so grateful for

(58:07):
him and the energy he brings toour two sons and just has.
Have there been some crazymoments?
Have there been some badmoments?
For sure, but that's part oflife and he teaches them that
and he's honest with them aboutthings and he's very

(58:28):
understanding and compassionate.
He's helping them with all thathe's.
For me, having two sons, it wasuncomfortable as a woman
sometimes with some of theconflict that men have getting
used to that.
Then I realized, oh, it's apart of being a man.

(58:49):
They need to go through thisand that's okay.
The father role is so importantand a lot of men don't think
it's important early on, but itis like you said.
I love how you put the presenceand just being there is
important.
It's really important yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
I'll also add, just because I think your listeners
will appreciate this I was at abreaking point at about six
months.
We have two little girls, bythe way, so it's the same.
I had this experience with thefeminine energy and trying to
figure out dial in my yin andyang balance in order to show
them that I'm not just a man, Ialso have a lot of feminine
energy.
You know vice versa for you.

(59:34):
But at about the six-month mark, I was struggling with the idea
that this kid is screaming itin my face and I can't do
anything.
I don't have breasts, I don'thave mom's smell.
I wasn't connected to this kidfor 10 months in the uterus.
What am I going to do?
Well, that holding space thingwas really hard because my
monkey mind was going and I wastired.

(59:54):
I was sleep deprived, but I wasalso just exhausted from not
being able to help.
From what I the way I wouldconceive of helping somebody
who's having a hard time.
I had to do a really deepmedicine ceremony and came out
of that.
It was a very large dose ofmushrooms, if you're curious.
It was by myself and I was justgoing through it.

(01:00:18):
I had this image of being in avoid where I had all of the
knowledge that I could ever know, all the stuff I ever wanted to
achieve.
But I was alone in this space.
It was my ego just banging myhead off of the wall.
I had to reconcile that I wasunwilling to give a piece of me

(01:00:39):
to this child.
Things change when you become aparent Again.
Everybody's like they just fitinto your life or whatever else
and people think you're doinggreat because you have a podcast
and your Instagram looks great.
It is really hard and it's okayfor you to have to do some deep
inner reflective work.
Ideally before.

(01:00:59):
That's the work I do with myclients.
I actually work as much withmen as I do with their pregnant
partners.
But in this journey I came outof it and the first thing I saw
when I opened my eyes and my doghad eight eyeballs.
I mean I was really in deep thebassinet in our bedroom and I
just cried for four hours.

(01:01:21):
How badly did I want to be afather to this little girl.
I can't give her any of mypresence.
So I always say my greatestcurrency with children is not
time, it's not my job or themoney, it's actually my presence
with them.
They want to be looking intoyou.
They're not seeing your blueeyes, they're seeing you and all

(01:01:43):
of your glory.
What part of that do you wantthem to see?
You need them to see all of it.
And it required that medicinejourney for me to really
understand what fatherhood meantto me.
And it was like four hours.
And then I remember getting aload of laundry after I was
coming down and I was foldingher little underwear, her
reusable diapers, and I was justlike, oh, it's such an honor to

(01:02:06):
be able to fold these littlediapers.
Even my wife something haschanged in you ever since that
journey, but it doesn't get likeI have it all figured out.
It was just the initiation.
You said you were ready.
Well, let's fucking go, man.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
That happens instantaneously.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
I love that.
Thank you so much for sharingthat, nathan.
Yes, that is it.
That is all there is.
That is the most importantaspect of being a parent.
I've learned over the years too, and it was really hard for me
early on, because I was tiredtoo and I was like stressed, but
then I was like I'm not workinganymore.
I got to be present for them,and even then it was hard.

(01:02:46):
So for me, my life is justpreparing that presence, and I
still sometimes have a hard timewith it, and I got to get out
of my own thing and then be withthem.
That's all they want.
They just want us to be presentwith them in the moment.
I remind myself of thatconstantly because I remember

(01:03:08):
not getting that as much when Iwas a kid, too, and how that
felt, and so you know I do thebest I can to do that for them,
absolutely, yeah, yeah, well,thank you, nathan.
This has been an incredibleconversation.
We talked about a lot ofdifferent things, but I feel
like this is going to giveeverybody so much value and
insight, both on what you do,what you offer, and more on the

(01:03:33):
birthing process and even thedeath process, you know for
people Would you want to share?
You did mention your course,which you're doing.
Is it through the checkInstitute?
Is that where you're offeringit, or no?
I thought maybe they werehelping you promote it or
something, or you wereaffiliated there somehow.

Speaker 2 (01:03:52):
I have a course at the check Institute.
It's my natural fertilitycourse that is up and available
as we speak.
It really it comes with a 150page course manual and the
course is only like 130 bucks.
But anybody out there who'sstruggling with fertility,
that's the.
That's where I send them first,because I don't have time to go
through everything I've learnedover all of these years.

(01:04:13):
But most of it is actuallyincorporated there.
Okay, cool.
I also have a PRP.
My PRP fertility program is waymore comprehensive.
You meet with me and sevenother practitioners.
It's a higher price point, butit's a fraction of the cost of
IVF.
So if you're oh yeah, with thatis the only option, let's at
least dial in your health sothat, a, maybe you can conceive

(01:04:35):
naturally likely, or B, if youend up going the IVF route, it's
going to actually work andyou've dialed in all of the
causes of your fertilitychallenges, from the physical,
mental, emotional and spirituallevels.
The check fertility course isactually included in that price.
You get access to it, and thenthere's so many other things.
People can go to my website tolearn more about that.

(01:04:56):
It's belovedholisticscom.
The course that is going to becoming out is called the Born
Free Method, which really You'vescratched the surface, maybe
1.50 of what's covered in thatcourse, but it really.
It starts with thedeconditioning that you don't
have any power or say in yourlife.
And let's apply that newreclaimed power to what you have

(01:05:18):
the ability to control inpregnancy, through childbirth,
into postpartum.
But it goes through everythingmany, many, many scenarios that
you could arise at withinpregnancy and childbirth.
Again, because I'm notavailable to counsel every
single person through everypregnancy.
I'm super busy.
So this course will beavailable.
It'll be at bornfreemethodcom.
Both websites will be combinedat bornfreemethodcom, but

(01:05:42):
neither here nor there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
Wonderful.
Yeah, I heard you have somegood music with that too.

Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
Yeah, we've got a so much.
Who's a buddy of yours, IanMorris, actually are
collaborating on the soundtrack.
What I've told people is it'skind of like if you were to
blend Kendrick Lamar with Yonseiwith the black keys, you would
have our soundtrack.
It's pretty dope.

(01:06:08):
Oh that's awesome.
So, yeah, so everything isavailable at my website.
I also do work one-on-one withpeople people who want pregnancy
support.
They just buy a package at mywebsite.
I also have health coaches thatI work with.
For some people, I just say goand see Kirstie Pratt or whoever
who's another checkpractitioner.
She's actually helps a lot withPaul and Angie's Instagram and

(01:06:29):
all of that.
I only work with people that Ireally trust their work.
So if you go to my website,you'll see the types of people
who are your people as well, butthey're the best at what they
do in the biz and their variousspecialties.
So I'm not messing around.
We're only doing works here.
We're not fluffing this up.
We're not going to say I took aweekend workshop and here's the

(01:06:52):
five steps to doing whatever.
We're going to get to the heartof your issues and we're going
to at least try to nudge youonto the right path.
Everything's a journey.
Yeah, and that's that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:05):
Fertility is a big one and we didn't really get
into that today, but we'll haveto have to have you back on the
show later to talk about that.
Yeah, because that's a big one.
Thank you so much, nathan.
I really appreciate you and itwas so nice to connect today and
talk about some amazing things.
Thank you, my pleasure.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
Allison, thank you, and to all of your audience out
there, thank you for listeningto Good Podcast.
There's a lot of junk out there.
Allison's podcast is not junkand it's a real honor in being
invited here to speak with youtoday.

Speaker 1 (01:07:36):
Thank you, nathan, you're amazing, you're the best.
Can't wait to connect in person.

Speaker 2 (01:07:41):
Yeah, likewise.
Likewise, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:07:49):
I believe bliss is a spiritual experience and you
can't find this without firstlearning how to play, make
mistakes and have fun, fun, fun,fun.
But it's hard to experiencebliss until you've learned how
to surrender to what you cannotcontrol, control, control,

(01:08:12):
control.
It's more fun to roll with lifemost times and, of course,
control what you can, but let goof what you cannot and hand
that over to the universe oryour higher self, your self.

(01:08:33):
Your joy lies in the idea thatmany times, life does not unfold
the way we always expect orplan, but it does unfold the way

(01:08:56):
that is right for each of us,giving us exactly what we need
without losing anything.
Oftentimes, the result is evenbetter than what we could have
ever imagined, ever imagined,ever imagined Because we opened
ourselves up to infinitepossibility, possibility,
possibility.
Embracing the unknown in yourlife is like watching a good

(01:09:19):
movie and waiting for the nextclue as to what could come next,
with curiosity and excitement,curiosity and excitement,
curiosity and excitement,curiosity and excitement,
curiosity and excitement.
What you discover along the wayin your life is important and it
all relates back to you beingable to see the beauty and

(01:09:39):
bringing awareness to thesynchronicities.
Your life is your greatest workof art.
We are all artists in that wayand you get to create your life
anywhere you like.
That's the fun part.
And having fun, I believe, is aspiritual experience,
experience, experienceExperience, and it all relates

(01:10:01):
back to the synchronicities.
And having fun, I believe, is aspiritual experience,
experience, experience, and itall relates back to the

(01:10:23):
synchronicities.
Your life is your greatest workof art and it all relates back

(01:10:45):
to the synchronicity of thesynchronicity.