December 8, 2023 • 36 mins
This solo episode welcomes you into a conversation about giving yourself the gift of presence, connecting mind, body, and spirit, and the transformative power of stepping away from life's chaos. With our world often mired in consumerism, especially during the holidays, we delve into the necessity of self-reflection and understanding our individual processes.
Does the rush of the holidays leave you feeling pressured and overwhelmed? We tackle this subject head-on, offering strategies for slowing down, finding clarity, and placing importance on your needs. I'll share my own experience of living with ADHD, and how I've learned to manage procrastination and improve completion by reconnecting with my body. This episode aims to remind you of your value and urge you to prioritize yourself amidst the noise.
We discuss how being truly present can enhance our connections with both ourselves and those around us. I share useful tips, some of my personal stories and give you resources to help you prioritize self-care, slow down, and truly connect with yourself. This is not just a conversation, but an invitation to evolve and thrive. You don't want to miss this.
Check out my episode with The Deep Life Podcast here:
https://youtu.be/TMvGMdM2D3s?si=9iLpWiomVUaPw-Al
Pick up a copy of my book Finally Thriving or purchase my audiobook here:
https://geni.us/FinallyThriving
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https://www.finallythrivingprogram.com/waitlist
Are you ready to get out of a reactive survival mode and step into your natural state of thriving?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everybody, welcome to Integrate Yourself.
I'm your host, alison Polo, andyou can find me at
FinallyThrivingProgramcom.
And if you want to find my bookFinally Thriving, go to Amazon
or anywhere you can find booksand you can purchase my book
there.
It's a great gift to givepeople this time of year if you
(00:22):
want to help friends and familymembers or yourself, which is
even better with your own selfmastery, mastering your energy,
mastering your body andmastering your mind, and what I
do is take you through thatprocess of integrating mind,
body and spirit so that you canhave a sustainable wellness
(00:46):
practice that will lead you backhome to yourself.
And this is going to be soimportant as we get into the new
year.
After this time of appreciationand the holidays and the giving
and the receiving, it's goingto be really important to step
into the time of resolution, tobe able to give to yourself too.
(01:07):
And if you feel like this wouldbe a good gift for friends and
family, I would love it if you'dshare it with them too.
My group coaching program iscalled Finally Thriving, the
Finally Thriving program.
That's the link I gave you atthe beginning of the show
Finallythrivingprogramcom.
You can go there and get on mywait list If you're interested
(01:29):
in participating in the nextround.
We're going to be starting thatin January.
You will get the registrationdates.
If you sign up for my wait listas well, you'll get a free
Align your Mind mini course.
It'll get you started on yourpath to thriving.
It's a lot of the foundationalwork that we do in the very
beginning of the class together.
So you'll be one step ahead ifyou go ahead and sign up for
(01:52):
that and as well, you're goingto get your free connect with
your body, meditation, which Ithink is so important.
Our body is our first level ofawareness, our first level of
consciousness.
It's really the densest part ofour soul, in a way.
And when we can connect withour body and we can begin to
(02:15):
listen to our bodies andmessages what it's telling us,
we're making space for a self orprioritizing time with our self
.
This is where the magic happens.
So if you can start practicingthat with a small meditation
every day, that's a big, bigdeal.
Many people don't even get thatfar.
So this is what the practice ofprioritizing time with yourself
(02:40):
starts with.
It's really what you enjoydoing.
So if you enjoy meditating, ifyou enjoy just laying on the
floor and doing nothing for 10minutes.
That's fine too.
Go get out in nature, take awalk.
These are all the things we talkabout in the class, as well as
how you can connect with yourbody to create a sustainable
wellness practice, somethingthat you find joy in, that
(03:02):
you'll never get tired of, thatyou don't have to motivate
yourself to do something.
That's very joyful and itfulfills you.
It has purpose in your life totake care of yourself.
You understand the value ofthat and that's what we move
toward in that finally thrivingprogram together, and it's a 12
week course and coaching program.
(03:23):
It's going to help you tap intoyour intuition.
It's going to help you create avery sustainable wellness
practice.
That's just right for you andit's something that will always
bring you back to you, and sothat's where we're heading.
That's the theme of this monthis really making space for
yourself.
It's always a theme for thethings I teach.
(03:44):
I always teach people how to dothat in various ways, and our
wellness practice can be one ofthose things.
So if you'd like to be a partof that, head over to the link
for the wait list and you canjoin.
You'll get the registrationdates and you'll be on my list
to know what to do next and toget all the freebies to, which
(04:05):
is very exciting, and so I hopeyou enjoy that, as always.
Thanks so much for tuning ineverybody.
I really appreciate you so much.
I don't know if I say thatenough.
You guys are amazing.
I really love my listeners andyou know I just want to be here
(04:25):
for you as much as I possiblycan because you know, as we move
into more craziness in theoutside world, we just really
need something to speak to us,to go and remind us really to go
within, like this is the topicof today's show is, um, you know
(04:45):
, giving yourself the gift ofpresence, and we're going to get
into that a little bit today invarious, various perspectives
here, and I've shared on a fewshows, a few other podcasts
lately.
If you check out the deep lifepodcast, I've just done an
(05:06):
episode with them.
That was really really fun.
They're just such a good groupof Lisa and Dan.
They just I just love them somuch.
They're wonderful people and Igot to share some things that
I've been going through thissummer, this past summer and
fall.
I just really had to take abreak because, uh, you know, you
(05:28):
go, go, go and then eventuallyyou've got to just say wait a
minute, what, what do you know?
Where am I in all of this?
And this is really what I wasdoing Another round of that.
I think we just go throughlayers of that.
I don't think it ever stops.
I think we have to continue tocome back to ourselves and take
that space and really reevaluateour lives, and that's what a
(05:50):
lot of times this time of yearis all about.
We get to that resolution andwe're like oh, I haven't even
thought about that, I haven'teven spent enough time or given
myself enough space to evenconsider how I want to do this,
how I want to do my life.
So what I invite you to do thismonth is to start making space
(06:15):
for yourself, to get to knowyourself better, to get to feel
your own energy, to understandyour own perspective, your own
process, because when we'recaught up in the holidays and
which is a beautiful time we'regiving, we're receiving.
(06:37):
You know, a lot of times we arepretty caught up in what
people's judgments are of us,like how we show up or what kind
of gifts we're gonna be givingand how that's gonna be received
and the judgment around all ofthat, and it's like really a lot
of pressure around showing up acertain way for other people.
(06:57):
And so what I would consider isjust to see okay, maybe I could
do it a little differently thisyear.
How can I do this?
And I've talked to a few peoplefew clients about this and for
many people it really stressesthem out.
(07:17):
I mean, we can all relate tothis, the running around.
Initially it feels really good,it's like exciting, it's like,
oh my God, the holidays, this isgreat.
But we get really caught up inconsumerism.
We get caught up in the idea ofconsuming, even more so during
this time of year than any othertime.
We're kind of always caught upin consumerism to some extent
(07:38):
because we've been trained thatway, but this time of year even
more so than ever.
But what I've talked to a few ofmy clients about is they're
saying this just doesn't feelright anymore, like I really
don't want to go through thisagain this year.
I wanna try something different.
(07:58):
I wanna see what it feels liketo maybe just get one gift for
each person.
That might be right for them,not like 10 for each person, or
we're just gonna spend timetogether.
This year we're gonna dosomething different.
We're gonna sing together,we're gonna gather and eat
(08:18):
together, instead of making itall about the presence and I
love presents and I lovereceiving gifts and if it's
creating stress, if you'refeeling like it's an obligation
to step into that consumer mode,then this is where I'm saying,
(08:42):
like, think about that, considerand feel into it.
Even, what does that feel likefor you?
Do you feel like doing thatagain?
So, with that, it's importantfor us to make space for
ourselves within all of this, sothat we can step into the month
(09:05):
and enjoy it while we're here,because that's the point right.
We wanna enjoy our family, wewanna enjoy our friends, we
wanna enjoy this downtime,because it is, in a way, a
downtime, but we get really busyand then it doesn't become
downtime anymore.
So, within that, how can youjust slow down a bit and take
(09:27):
time for yourself?
So I'm gonna give you some tipstoday.
I'm gonna give you some of myrecommendations and what I've
done, because I've had to dothis.
Over the years, I've struggledwith ADHD, which is, of course,
a diagnosis.
It's not an identity.
I have not identified with it.
I just know that it existswithin me, because and that's
(09:51):
really important todifferentiate, because if we
identify with something, then wekind of in my experience, I
become a victim to it.
So, yes, I've experienced mybrain functioning that way.
But is that who I am?
Do I make excuses or blamesomething else for that being
(10:14):
the case?
No, what I do is I work withthat, I work with it.
So I do that.
I realize that I have adifferent process in life.
I honor that process, which isa way of honoring myself and
then move forward with theaction that it takes to do that.
And sometimes it's not alwaysgreat, you know.
(10:36):
Sometimes it doesn't work outgreat, sometimes it works out
great.
So it's going through thosestages of finding out what your
process is in life and doingthat.
So that's what I've been doing.
And I bring up ADHD because, ina way, as an example of what
(10:56):
I've had to do, getting backinto my body has helped me so
much with that, like learning myown process.
It grounds me, gets me out ofmy head, my thinking mind,
because my thinking brain canjust go all over the place with
so many ideas.
You know, I'm really good atpicking up ideas from other
(11:19):
people, but then eventually, Ihave to come back around and see
okay, where am I in all this?
And many of us are experiencingthat.
Many of us struggle with thatbecause now we have social media
, we have all kinds of mediaoutlets that we're influenced by
.
We're influenced by friendssending you posts and all these
kinds of things, and your ownperception is interrupted many
(11:43):
times during the day.
So that's why it's even moreimportant to make the time for
yourself to get clear on whereyou are, and so, with ADHD, I've
had to.
You know, as being anentrepreneur, a coach, a mother
over the years, a podcaster, acontent creator, an author.
(12:06):
You know I've done a lot ofprojects.
I've now gotten into music, andthe biggest thing for me is or
the two biggest challenges, Iwould say, would be completion
and procrastination.
Right, so I do a lot ofprocrastination, and I would do
that with myself.
I would abandon myself, I wouldprocrastinate, I would put off
(12:30):
the time that I needed to bewith myself and I would put
other people in front of me, andthat would include family, that
would include clients, becauseI was putting the importance on
others before myself and so,therefore, I wasn't taking care
of myself in the way I needed to.
(12:51):
I was depleting myself,depleting my energy, depleting
my resources and, in that too,not giving myself the interest,
the time and attention that Ineeded to grow as well.
So I wasn't filling my cup, Iwas filling other people's cups
(13:16):
until I was completely empty.
And I say this to just give yousome perspective here.
I'm not saying that being ofservice to other people and only
serving the self is the way togo either.
I truly believe in the act ofservice.
(13:37):
I have always been abouthelping other people.
That has been my main objectiveand my purpose throughout most
of my adult life.
I've always wanted to helppeople, and that's been the
driving force and the motivationfor me to do what I do.
It's not even about making tonsof money.
(14:02):
It's more about being ofservice to people and being here
to help, and I tried my bestover the years to be able to
step up to that, to plate withwhatever people needed, whatever
I thought was the mostimportant, and so that's what
(14:22):
I've done throughout the years.
So that's a beautiful thing,right?
But even when you're doing that,you still have to honor
yourself, because if you're notdoing that, then you're not
actually creating a good servicefor other people.
You're also not the best rolemodel for that for both your
(14:45):
kids, for your students, foryour clients, those kinds of
things.
When we put ourselves first inthat way, then we're better able
to take responsibility on alllevels of our life, and that
means that you are responsiblefor you and no one else takes
(15:06):
that burden right, so you're notprojecting that burden onto
other people.
And so victim mentality istalked about a lot right now,
and this is a way that it alsopresents itself.
But also we can be the saviors.
We can try to save everybody.
(15:27):
We can even be the perpetrators, the person who's the
narcissist, or the person whocreates the chaos or the problem
, and we've all been all ofthose things.
You know, and that's okay.
But all I'm saying is like lookand see where you need more
(15:48):
balance in your life.
Where does it need to beharmonized?
Are you giving yourself enough,or are you just showing up for
other people and then abandoningyourself?
So if your cup is overflowing,you're gonna be able to give
(16:09):
more than enough to other people, but if it's not, then you're
gonna be giving people what youdon't have, and that's actually
not serving anybody.
So now, with that point going,I wanted to just so we could
(16:30):
also add people pleasing intothe mix.
Fitting in getting people'sapproval, all these things are
needs that you can meet yourselfand then from there you get the
support that you need fromothers because you've met those
basic needs for yourself.
But again, until you startdiving into this and really
(16:53):
taking the space for yourself,you're not gonna ever really
know what's there.
And it's okay if you don't knowwhat's there.
That's part of the process.
But we gotta start somewhere,and where we start is looking at
our calendar.
My first tip is look at yourcalendar and see how much space
(17:15):
you have for yourself.
On that calendar you have spacefor you.
Do you have time where you canjust be by yourself?
That's the first thing to lookat.
I don't know about you, but Idefinitely will not do something
if it's not on my calendar,mainly because I just forget
about it.
(17:35):
So if we wanna schedule time forourselves whether it's a
wellness practice, whether it'sjust meditation, whether it's a
walk in nature schedule that foryourself, put it on your
schedule.
I highly recommend.
I know it sounds silly, I knowit sounds so practical, but it
(17:56):
really does work and then takeoff anything on your schedule
that you don't need.
Is it something that you'reputting on?
Because, from my experience, Iput a lot of things on because I
wanted to connect with people.
I would over connect, do somuch where I was connecting with
everybody else and not reallytaking the time to connect with
(18:17):
myself or giving myself thatspace, even throughout the day,
to just process.
Right, because we do so muchthrough the day, we come across
so many people, we take on otherpeople's thoughts, a lot gets
projected on us.
We don't give ourselves enoughtime to process that.
(18:39):
So this is the time to do it,and so, with that, the next tip
would be to start taking action.
So once you've scheduled thattime for yourself, you're
showing you that you matter toyou and you've made that a
(19:03):
priority.
Go ahead and do something thatyou really feel like is
nourishing for you.
You know, put in the, put astretching session in there and
stretch your body.
See how it feels, see if youcan be totally present for that.
If you have a hard timemeditating, go take a walk out
(19:26):
in nature.
Listen to the sounds around you, you know.
So these are some things.
It's just basic things we cando.
It doesn't have to be a bigspiritual practice, it doesn't
(19:47):
have to be anything that is, youknow, planned so much.
You just can use that time todo with whatever you'd like to.
It could just be Foldingclothes, washing dishes.
You're just by yourself, youare processing, could be making
(20:08):
an art project, it could bedoing a weightlifting workout,
it could be sitting down Havinga nice meal and just being
present with it.
It's really the point here isfor us to be able to feel.
Feel what we're not feeling,feel your own energy.
(20:33):
One thing I love to do is I'msure you guys know I've talked
about this a bunch of times isthe voice work.
I Love to do a vocal toningsession.
I love to hear my own voice andreally get familiar with that
sound, because that is whatreally crowns me, to know that,
(20:54):
wow, okay, this is me, this iswhat I sound like.
There's something deeplyhealing about that.
So I Will say also, one otherthing to think about is one
thing that's been coming to minda bunch lately is Shoes.
(21:17):
You know, think about your feet,or your feet Feeling good.
Are they able, just practicallyspeaking, or your toes able, to
spread, or are they crunched upin a shoe most of the time?
Do you feel like your feet hurtor are you allowing them to
move over the ground?
Are you taking your shoes off?
Do you have shoes that will letyour toes spread out?
(21:39):
How big is the soul of your, ofyour shoe?
Is it really far from theground?
Are you closer to the ground?
We do Ground ourselves byelectromagnetic, magnetically
connecting to the earth.
So the further away our foot isfrom the earth on a regular
(22:01):
basis, the less grounding wehave.
So it's important to be able toground yourself through your
feet, feel the ground on yourfeet, feel your feet move.
The bones in your feet shouldmove pretty well, and you can do
an ankle stretch as well forthe feet to help them move
better.
(22:21):
And this is this is really afoundational, no pun intended,
way to connect with yourself.
So I want to get into connectionnow and why we could be so
(22:42):
anxious, especially this time ofyear, right, because we're just
Most of us and I know, I'vetalked to people and I have
experienced this myself manytimes, I still experience it
we're constantly trying to findthat connection right that we
deeply, deeply desire and we'refine.
(23:04):
We're looking for it outside ofourselves.
We're looking for it throughother people, we're looking for
it through other experiences,but we haven't really taken the
time, the interests or theattention to go within ourselves
.
So this is where the problemlies when the anxiety comes up,
(23:25):
when you haven't actually givenyourself that pure presence,
it's going to be very hard foryou to do that for other people
If you can't do it for yourselffirst.
Now, I definitely feltchallenged by this when I was a
young mother, because my parentsreally had a hard time being
(23:49):
able to be present with me.
So therefore, I was a reallychallenged, a challenged parent
to be present with my own kidswhen they were little, even
though I wasn't working.
I took off three years of workand and just decided Excuse me,
(24:10):
just decided to be astay-at-home mom and it was the
best thing.
I really loved it.
It was like the really the bestjob I've ever had.
In some ways.
I enjoyed it so much and I'mvery grateful that I got to do
that.
And I do remember having a hardtime just doing nothing and
just sitting on the floor withthem and not Not doing anything,
(24:32):
just being present with them.
That was my biggest challenge,and now I know why because I
wasn't getting comfortable Withbeing alone with myself and it
and you know that's a wholeother topic, right?
Are they being alone?
We get scared to be alonebecause we think, oh my god,
(24:56):
that's a fear.
That was a fear for me, butwhat I realized Was that I
actually do enjoy being aloneand I enjoy connecting with
other people too.
So if these two things can betrue at once, then where's the
(25:17):
fear there?
So when you start to experienceyourself and spend time what I
call a wellness state withyourself, that's preparing you
to get more comfortable beingalone, being with your own
(25:38):
energy, which we're never reallyalone, cause if you think about
the law of one and how we'reconnected to everything and
everybody, we're just under theimpression that we're not, and
that's a whole, nother topic initself.
But that all leads back to theconnection aspect that I've been
(25:59):
talking about is we have beensevered from our connection with
source, with God, whatever youwant to call it, it's all the
same the universe, and that isreally the connection to
abundance, that's connection tounlimited potential and energy.
But in this realm of realitythat we're in, we have been
(26:26):
taught that.
Nope, there's a finite amountof energy.
There's a finite amount of love, even within religion like no
offense to any of my listenersthat are religious, there's
nothing wrong with that but evenin religion, there is something
(26:47):
that I call the divinityscarcity, where you are led to
believe that you are not thesource.
You don't have that connectionto God within you.
It's outside of you.
You're supposed to seek itoutside of you and, as I talked
to one of my guests, jasonPicard, the last episode if you
(27:09):
listen to that, we did get intohow religion is a good stepping
stone for spirituality, like forpeople.
I need that, many of us needthat, to be able to begin to
connect that way with our ownsoul, and that's okay.
So I'm not saying that'snecessarily a bad thing.
I'm just saying that this issomething to like start to
(27:34):
recognize, to become aware of,because this will be leading up
to, ultimately, what your trueconnection is, and that is with
yourself, because you'repowerful, you have a lot of
potential and it's infinite, andwhen you can make yourself the
(28:02):
practice, you start to learnthis.
You're not only learn it, youexperience it, and that is
what's most important is that webegin to feel that, and I have
this topic today about givingyourself the gift of presence
and what that leads to isconnection, and we can talk
(28:24):
about this all day, but reallythe magic is when you experience
it.
So it's something that you haveto follow through with to be
able to really know what that'slike.
And we're not attaining somegoal.
It's not a goal-oriented thing.
It's just you giving yourselfthat time, attention and love
(28:48):
that you so crave from everybodyelse.
And what will happen as aresult of that is you're gonna
see that unfold in your lifemore and more.
Now you may see some challengescome up within that too.
As you open up, you may seemore of that.
Those denser, older emotionscome through, and that may feel
(29:14):
not great, but there's a reasonyou're feeling it.
There's a reason it's comingthrough is because you are
needing to feel it so that thatdissipates the hold it has on
you, and this is how it works.
So giving yourself the gift ofpresence is the best gift that
(29:37):
you could give anybody,including yourself.
So what that does is it makesyou the light, the role model
for everybody else.
They see you doing that.
They're like, wow.
They don't even maybe have tosee it.
(29:59):
They just feel it, they know itbecause your energy has changed
and it's all about energymastery Mastering your own
energy before you try to controlother people, or don't control
other people, because we allknow that doesn't work.
So there's many ways that youcan spend time with yourself,
(30:24):
and I have a lot of thosetechniques and practices that
are joyful and fun in my program, the Finally Thriving program.
You can check out my book ifyou wanna dive deeper into that
or understand the things that Iteach my clients and my students
, and just carve out time foryourself this season and see how
(30:51):
it feels.
If anything, just try somethingdifferent.
Right, you can't go wrong there.
Yeah, so I mean we're headinginto a different time.
We're heading into 2024 isgonna be, I think, pretty
amazing, but we have to slowdown so that we can enjoy that.
And slowing down doesn't meanyou're giving up.
(31:12):
It just means that you arechoosing you, maybe for the
first time.
So congratulations and thank youso much for listening.
I love you guys so much and Ihope you got so much out of
(31:32):
today's show.
I really felt like I needed toshare that from my heart today.
That's something that I've beengoing through and we're all
struggling.
We're all seeing thesechallenges that are in our
outside world, but really themost powerful thing you can do
is come back home to yourself.
So if you wanna learn moreabout how to do that, I can
(31:52):
definitely help you.
Check out my book.
I've also got some audio books,both on Audible if you're a
member of that, and Spotify ifyou have that premium account,
and you can find my book onAmazon.
So thank you all so much,sending you all so much love,
and I'm looking forward totalking to you again soon.
(32:15):
Take care and I'll see you guysagain tomorrow through Audible.
(32:41):
Yes, that's fairly new to manyof us.
We have to connect with ourchildlike innocence and
curiosity to tap into our trueessence.
This innocence is in each andevery one of us.
(33:03):
We all have the ability to tapinto this pure innocence anytime
we'd like.
It's our natural state and thisis ultimately the game to play.
If you can see this in yourself, you can begin to see it in
(33:23):
others.
It brings an entirely new levelof compassion to the mix and a
way to bridge the gap betweenwhat's blocking us from loving
each other, experiencing thebeauty of our lives, knowing
true bliss and, ultimately,loving ourselves, regaining the
(33:47):
innocence within ourselves,freeze us from suffering.
We are perfect, just the way weare.
Hey everybody, welcome to Integrate Yourself.
I'm your host, alison Polo, andyou can find me at
FinallyThrivingProgramcom.
And if you want to find my bookFinally Thriving, go to Amazon
or anywhere you can find booksand you can purchase my book
there.
It's a great gift to givepeople this time of year if you
(00:22):
want to help friends and familymembers or yourself, which is
even better with your own selfmastery, mastering your energy,
mastering your body andmastering your mind, and what I
do is take you through thatprocess of integrating mind,
body and spirit so that you canhave a sustainable wellness
(00:46):
practice that will lead you backhome to yourself.
And this is going to be soimportant as we get into the new
year.
After this time of appreciationand the holidays and the giving
and the receiving, it's goingto be really important to step
into the time of resolution, tobe able to give to yourself too.
(01:07):
And if you feel like this wouldbe a good gift for friends and
family, I would love it if you'dshare it with them too.
My group coaching program iscalled Finally Thriving, the
Finally Thriving program.
That's the link I gave you atthe beginning of the show
Finallythrivingprogramcom.
You can go there and get on mywait list If you're interested
(01:29):
in participating in the nextround.
We're going to be starting thatin January.
You will get the registrationdates.
If you sign up for my wait listas well, you'll get a free
Align your Mind mini course.
It'll get you started on yourpath to thriving.
It's a lot of the foundationalwork that we do in the very
beginning of the class together.
So you'll be one step ahead ifyou go ahead and sign up for
(01:52):
that and as well, you're goingto get your free connect with
your body, meditation, which Ithink is so important.
Our body is our first level ofawareness, our first level of
consciousness.
It's really the densest part ofour soul, in a way.
And when we can connect withour body and we can begin to
(02:15):
listen to our bodies andmessages what it's telling us,
we're making space for a self orprioritizing time with our self
.
This is where the magic happens.
So if you can start practicingthat with a small meditation
every day, that's a big, bigdeal.
Many people don't even get thatfar.
So this is what the practice ofprioritizing time with yourself
(02:40):
starts with.
It's really what you enjoydoing.
So if you enjoy meditating, ifyou enjoy just laying on the
floor and doing nothing for 10minutes.
That's fine too.
Go get out in nature, take awalk.
These are all the things we talkabout in the class, as well as
how you can connect with yourbody to create a sustainable
wellness practice, somethingthat you find joy in, that
(03:02):
you'll never get tired of, thatyou don't have to motivate
yourself to do something.
That's very joyful and itfulfills you.
It has purpose in your life totake care of yourself.
You understand the value ofthat and that's what we move
toward in that finally thrivingprogram together, and it's a 12
week course and coaching program.
(03:23):
It's going to help you tap intoyour intuition.
It's going to help you create avery sustainable wellness
practice.
That's just right for you andit's something that will always
bring you back to you, and sothat's where we're heading.
That's the theme of this monthis really making space for
yourself.
It's always a theme for thethings I teach.
(03:44):
I always teach people how to dothat in various ways, and our
wellness practice can be one ofthose things.
So if you'd like to be a partof that, head over to the link
for the wait list and you canjoin.
You'll get the registrationdates and you'll be on my list
to know what to do next and toget all the freebies to, which
(04:05):
is very exciting, and so I hopeyou enjoy that, as always.
Thanks so much for tuning ineverybody.
I really appreciate you so much.
I don't know if I say thatenough.
You guys are amazing.
I really love my listeners andyou know I just want to be here
(04:25):
for you as much as I possiblycan because you know, as we move
into more craziness in theoutside world, we just really
need something to speak to us,to go and remind us really to go
within, like this is the topicof today's show is, um, you know
(04:45):
, giving yourself the gift ofpresence, and we're going to get
into that a little bit today invarious, various perspectives
here, and I've shared on a fewshows, a few other podcasts
lately.
If you check out the deep lifepodcast, I've just done an
(05:06):
episode with them.
That was really really fun.
They're just such a good groupof Lisa and Dan.
They just I just love them somuch.
They're wonderful people and Igot to share some things that
I've been going through thissummer, this past summer and
fall.
I just really had to take abreak because, uh, you know, you
(05:28):
go, go, go and then eventuallyyou've got to just say wait a
minute, what, what do you know?
Where am I in all of this?
And this is really what I wasdoing Another round of that.
I think we just go throughlayers of that.
I don't think it ever stops.
I think we have to continue tocome back to ourselves and take
that space and really reevaluateour lives, and that's what a
(05:50):
lot of times this time of yearis all about.
We get to that resolution andwe're like oh, I haven't even
thought about that, I haven'teven spent enough time or given
myself enough space to evenconsider how I want to do this,
how I want to do my life.
So what I invite you to do thismonth is to start making space
(06:15):
for yourself, to get to knowyourself better, to get to feel
your own energy, to understandyour own perspective, your own
process, because when we'recaught up in the holidays and
which is a beautiful time we'regiving, we're receiving.
(06:37):
You know, a lot of times we arepretty caught up in what
people's judgments are of us,like how we show up or what kind
of gifts we're gonna be givingand how that's gonna be received
and the judgment around all ofthat, and it's like really a lot
of pressure around showing up acertain way for other people.
(06:57):
And so what I would consider isjust to see okay, maybe I could
do it a little differently thisyear.
How can I do this?
And I've talked to a few peoplefew clients about this and for
many people it really stressesthem out.
(07:17):
I mean, we can all relate tothis, the running around.
Initially it feels really good,it's like exciting, it's like,
oh my God, the holidays, this isgreat.
But we get really caught up inconsumerism.
We get caught up in the idea ofconsuming, even more so during
this time of year than any othertime.
We're kind of always caught upin consumerism to some extent
(07:38):
because we've been trained thatway, but this time of year even
more so than ever.
But what I've talked to a few ofmy clients about is they're
saying this just doesn't feelright anymore, like I really
don't want to go through thisagain this year.
I wanna try something different.
(07:58):
I wanna see what it feels liketo maybe just get one gift for
each person.
That might be right for them,not like 10 for each person, or
we're just gonna spend timetogether.
This year we're gonna dosomething different.
We're gonna sing together,we're gonna gather and eat
(08:18):
together, instead of making itall about the presence and I
love presents and I lovereceiving gifts and if it's
creating stress, if you'refeeling like it's an obligation
to step into that consumer mode,then this is where I'm saying,
(08:42):
like, think about that, considerand feel into it.
Even, what does that feel likefor you?
Do you feel like doing thatagain?
So, with that, it's importantfor us to make space for
ourselves within all of this, sothat we can step into the month
(09:05):
and enjoy it while we're here,because that's the point right.
We wanna enjoy our family, wewanna enjoy our friends, we
wanna enjoy this downtime,because it is, in a way, a
downtime, but we get really busyand then it doesn't become
downtime anymore.
So, within that, how can youjust slow down a bit and take
(09:27):
time for yourself?
So I'm gonna give you some tipstoday.
I'm gonna give you some of myrecommendations and what I've
done, because I've had to dothis.
Over the years, I've struggledwith ADHD, which is, of course,
a diagnosis.
It's not an identity.
I have not identified with it.
I just know that it existswithin me, because and that's
(09:51):
really important todifferentiate, because if we
identify with something, then wekind of in my experience, I
become a victim to it.
So, yes, I've experienced mybrain functioning that way.
But is that who I am?
Do I make excuses or blamesomething else for that being
(10:14):
the case?
No, what I do is I work withthat, I work with it.
So I do that.
I realize that I have adifferent process in life.
I honor that process, which isa way of honoring myself and
then move forward with theaction that it takes to do that.
And sometimes it's not alwaysgreat, you know.
(10:36):
Sometimes it doesn't work outgreat, sometimes it works out
great.
So it's going through thosestages of finding out what your
process is in life and doingthat.
So that's what I've been doing.
And I bring up ADHD because, ina way, as an example of what
(10:56):
I've had to do, getting backinto my body has helped me so
much with that, like learning myown process.
It grounds me, gets me out ofmy head, my thinking mind,
because my thinking brain canjust go all over the place with
so many ideas.
You know, I'm really good atpicking up ideas from other
(11:19):
people, but then eventually, Ihave to come back around and see
okay, where am I in all this?
And many of us are experiencingthat.
Many of us struggle with thatbecause now we have social media
, we have all kinds of mediaoutlets that we're influenced by
.
We're influenced by friendssending you posts and all these
kinds of things, and your ownperception is interrupted many
(11:43):
times during the day.
So that's why it's even moreimportant to make the time for
yourself to get clear on whereyou are, and so, with ADHD, I've
had to.
You know, as being anentrepreneur, a coach, a mother
over the years, a podcaster, acontent creator, an author.
(12:06):
You know I've done a lot ofprojects.
I've now gotten into music, andthe biggest thing for me is or
the two biggest challenges, Iwould say, would be completion
and procrastination.
Right, so I do a lot ofprocrastination, and I would do
that with myself.
I would abandon myself, I wouldprocrastinate, I would put off
(12:30):
the time that I needed to bewith myself and I would put
other people in front of me, andthat would include family, that
would include clients, becauseI was putting the importance on
others before myself and so,therefore, I wasn't taking care
of myself in the way I needed to.
(12:51):
I was depleting myself,depleting my energy, depleting
my resources and, in that too,not giving myself the interest,
the time and attention that Ineeded to grow as well.
So I wasn't filling my cup, Iwas filling other people's cups
(13:16):
until I was completely empty.
And I say this to just give yousome perspective here.
I'm not saying that being ofservice to other people and only
serving the self is the way togo either.
I truly believe in the act ofservice.
(13:37):
I have always been abouthelping other people.
That has been my main objectiveand my purpose throughout most
of my adult life.
I've always wanted to helppeople, and that's been the
driving force and the motivationfor me to do what I do.
It's not even about making tonsof money.
(14:02):
It's more about being ofservice to people and being here
to help, and I tried my bestover the years to be able to
step up to that, to plate withwhatever people needed, whatever
I thought was the mostimportant, and so that's what
(14:22):
I've done throughout the years.
So that's a beautiful thing,right?
But even when you're doing that,you still have to honor
yourself, because if you're notdoing that, then you're not
actually creating a good servicefor other people.
You're also not the best rolemodel for that for both your
(14:45):
kids, for your students, foryour clients, those kinds of
things.
When we put ourselves first inthat way, then we're better able
to take responsibility on alllevels of our life, and that
means that you are responsiblefor you and no one else takes
(15:06):
that burden right, so you're notprojecting that burden onto
other people.
And so victim mentality istalked about a lot right now,
and this is a way that it alsopresents itself.
But also we can be the saviors.
We can try to save everybody.
(15:27):
We can even be the perpetrators, the person who's the
narcissist, or the person whocreates the chaos or the problem
, and we've all been all ofthose things.
You know, and that's okay.
But all I'm saying is like lookand see where you need more
(15:48):
balance in your life.
Where does it need to beharmonized?
Are you giving yourself enough,or are you just showing up for
other people and then abandoningyourself?
So if your cup is overflowing,you're gonna be able to give
(16:09):
more than enough to other people, but if it's not, then you're
gonna be giving people what youdon't have, and that's actually
not serving anybody.
So now, with that point going,I wanted to just so we could
(16:30):
also add people pleasing intothe mix.
Fitting in getting people'sapproval, all these things are
needs that you can meet yourselfand then from there you get the
support that you need fromothers because you've met those
basic needs for yourself.
But again, until you startdiving into this and really
(16:53):
taking the space for yourself,you're not gonna ever really
know what's there.
And it's okay if you don't knowwhat's there.
That's part of the process.
But we gotta start somewhere,and where we start is looking at
our calendar.
My first tip is look at yourcalendar and see how much space
(17:15):
you have for yourself.
On that calendar you have spacefor you.
Do you have time where you canjust be by yourself?
That's the first thing to lookat.
I don't know about you, but Idefinitely will not do something
if it's not on my calendar,mainly because I just forget
about it.
(17:35):
So if we wanna schedule time forourselves whether it's a
wellness practice, whether it'sjust meditation, whether it's a
walk in nature schedule that foryourself, put it on your
schedule.
I highly recommend.
I know it sounds silly, I knowit sounds so practical, but it
(17:56):
really does work and then takeoff anything on your schedule
that you don't need.
Is it something that you'reputting on?
Because, from my experience, Iput a lot of things on because I
wanted to connect with people.
I would over connect, do somuch where I was connecting with
everybody else and not reallytaking the time to connect with
(18:17):
myself or giving myself thatspace, even throughout the day,
to just process.
Right, because we do so muchthrough the day, we come across
so many people, we take on otherpeople's thoughts, a lot gets
projected on us.
We don't give ourselves enoughtime to process that.
(18:39):
So this is the time to do it,and so, with that, the next tip
would be to start taking action.
So once you've scheduled thattime for yourself, you're
showing you that you matter toyou and you've made that a
(19:03):
priority.
Go ahead and do something thatyou really feel like is
nourishing for you.
You know, put in the, put astretching session in there and
stretch your body.
See how it feels, see if youcan be totally present for that.
If you have a hard timemeditating, go take a walk out
(19:26):
in nature.
Listen to the sounds around you, you know.
So these are some things.
It's just basic things we cando.
It doesn't have to be a bigspiritual practice, it doesn't
(19:47):
have to be anything that is, youknow, planned so much.
You just can use that time todo with whatever you'd like to.
It could just be Foldingclothes, washing dishes.
You're just by yourself, youare processing, could be making
(20:08):
an art project, it could bedoing a weightlifting workout,
it could be sitting down Havinga nice meal and just being
present with it.
It's really the point here isfor us to be able to feel.
Feel what we're not feeling,feel your own energy.
(20:33):
One thing I love to do is I'msure you guys know I've talked
about this a bunch of times isthe voice work.
I Love to do a vocal toningsession.
I love to hear my own voice andreally get familiar with that
sound, because that is whatreally crowns me, to know that,
(20:54):
wow, okay, this is me, this iswhat I sound like.
There's something deeplyhealing about that.
So I Will say also, one otherthing to think about is one
thing that's been coming to minda bunch lately is Shoes.
(21:17):
You know, think about your feet,or your feet Feeling good.
Are they able, just practicallyspeaking, or your toes able, to
spread, or are they crunched upin a shoe most of the time?
Do you feel like your feet hurtor are you allowing them to
move over the ground?
Are you taking your shoes off?
Do you have shoes that will letyour toes spread out?
(21:39):
How big is the soul of your, ofyour shoe?
Is it really far from theground?
Are you closer to the ground?
We do Ground ourselves byelectromagnetic, magnetically
connecting to the earth.
So the further away our foot isfrom the earth on a regular
(22:01):
basis, the less grounding wehave.
So it's important to be able toground yourself through your
feet, feel the ground on yourfeet, feel your feet move.
The bones in your feet shouldmove pretty well, and you can do
an ankle stretch as well forthe feet to help them move
better.
(22:21):
And this is this is really afoundational, no pun intended,
way to connect with yourself.
So I want to get into connectionnow and why we could be so
(22:42):
anxious, especially this time ofyear, right, because we're just
Most of us and I know, I'vetalked to people and I have
experienced this myself manytimes, I still experience it
we're constantly trying to findthat connection right that we
deeply, deeply desire and we'refine.
(23:04):
We're looking for it outside ofourselves.
We're looking for it throughother people, we're looking for
it through other experiences,but we haven't really taken the
time, the interests or theattention to go within ourselves
.
So this is where the problemlies when the anxiety comes up,
(23:25):
when you haven't actually givenyourself that pure presence,
it's going to be very hard foryou to do that for other people
If you can't do it for yourselffirst.
Now, I definitely feltchallenged by this when I was a
young mother, because my parentsreally had a hard time being
(23:49):
able to be present with me.
So therefore, I was a reallychallenged, a challenged parent
to be present with my own kidswhen they were little, even
though I wasn't working.
I took off three years of workand and just decided Excuse me,
(24:10):
just decided to be astay-at-home mom and it was the
best thing.
I really loved it.
It was like the really the bestjob I've ever had.
In some ways.
I enjoyed it so much and I'mvery grateful that I got to do
that.
And I do remember having a hardtime just doing nothing and
just sitting on the floor withthem and not Not doing anything,
(24:32):
just being present with them.
That was my biggest challenge,and now I know why because I
wasn't getting comfortable Withbeing alone with myself and it
and you know that's a wholeother topic, right?
Are they being alone?
We get scared to be alonebecause we think, oh my god,
(24:56):
that's a fear.
That was a fear for me, butwhat I realized Was that I
actually do enjoy being aloneand I enjoy connecting with
other people too.
So if these two things can betrue at once, then where's the
(25:17):
fear there?
So when you start to experienceyourself and spend time what I
call a wellness state withyourself, that's preparing you
to get more comfortable beingalone, being with your own
(25:38):
energy, which we're never reallyalone, cause if you think about
the law of one and how we'reconnected to everything and
everybody, we're just under theimpression that we're not, and
that's a whole, nother topic initself.
But that all leads back to theconnection aspect that I've been
(25:59):
talking about is we have beensevered from our connection with
source, with God, whatever youwant to call it, it's all the
same the universe, and that isreally the connection to
abundance, that's connection tounlimited potential and energy.
But in this realm of realitythat we're in, we have been
(26:26):
taught that.
Nope, there's a finite amountof energy.
There's a finite amount of love, even within religion like no
offense to any of my listenersthat are religious, there's
nothing wrong with that but evenin religion, there is something
(26:47):
that I call the divinityscarcity, where you are led to
believe that you are not thesource.
You don't have that connectionto God within you.
It's outside of you.
You're supposed to seek itoutside of you and, as I talked
to one of my guests, jasonPicard, the last episode if you
(27:09):
listen to that, we did get intohow religion is a good stepping
stone for spirituality, like forpeople.
I need that, many of us needthat, to be able to begin to
connect that way with our ownsoul, and that's okay.
So I'm not saying that'snecessarily a bad thing.
I'm just saying that this issomething to like start to
(27:34):
recognize, to become aware of,because this will be leading up
to, ultimately, what your trueconnection is, and that is with
yourself, because you'repowerful, you have a lot of
potential and it's infinite, andwhen you can make yourself the
(28:02):
practice, you start to learnthis.
You're not only learn it, youexperience it, and that is
what's most important is that webegin to feel that, and I have
this topic today about givingyourself the gift of presence
and what that leads to isconnection, and we can talk
(28:24):
about this all day, but reallythe magic is when you experience
it.
So it's something that you haveto follow through with to be
able to really know what that'slike.
And we're not attaining somegoal.
It's not a goal-oriented thing.
It's just you giving yourselfthat time, attention and love
(28:48):
that you so crave from everybodyelse.
And what will happen as aresult of that is you're gonna
see that unfold in your lifemore and more.
Now you may see some challengescome up within that too.
As you open up, you may seemore of that.
Those denser, older emotionscome through, and that may feel
(29:14):
not great, but there's a reasonyou're feeling it.
There's a reason it's comingthrough is because you are
needing to feel it so that thatdissipates the hold it has on
you, and this is how it works.
So giving yourself the gift ofpresence is the best gift that
(29:37):
you could give anybody,including yourself.
So what that does is it makesyou the light, the role model
for everybody else.
They see you doing that.
They're like, wow.
They don't even maybe have tosee it.
(29:59):
They just feel it, they know itbecause your energy has changed
and it's all about energymastery Mastering your own
energy before you try to controlother people, or don't control
other people, because we allknow that doesn't work.
So there's many ways that youcan spend time with yourself,
(30:24):
and I have a lot of thosetechniques and practices that
are joyful and fun in my program, the Finally Thriving program.
You can check out my book ifyou wanna dive deeper into that
or understand the things that Iteach my clients and my students
, and just carve out time foryourself this season and see how
(30:51):
it feels.
If anything, just try somethingdifferent.
Right, you can't go wrong there.
Yeah, so I mean we're headinginto a different time.
We're heading into 2024 isgonna be, I think, pretty
amazing, but we have to slowdown so that we can enjoy that.
And slowing down doesn't meanyou're giving up.
(31:12):
It just means that you arechoosing you, maybe for the
first time.
So congratulations and thank youso much for listening.
I love you guys so much and Ihope you got so much out of
(31:32):
today's show.
I really felt like I needed toshare that from my heart today.
That's something that I've beengoing through and we're all
struggling.
We're all seeing thesechallenges that are in our
outside world, but really themost powerful thing you can do
is come back home to yourself.
So if you wanna learn moreabout how to do that, I can
(31:52):
definitely help you.
Check out my book.
I've also got some audio books,both on Audible if you're a
member of that, and Spotify ifyou have that premium account,
and you can find my book onAmazon.
So thank you all so much,sending you all so much love,
and I'm looking forward totalking to you again soon.
(32:15):
Take care and I'll see you guysagain tomorrow through Audible.
(32:41):
Yes, that's fairly new to manyof us.
We have to connect with ourchildlike innocence and
curiosity to tap into our trueessence.
This innocence is in each andevery one of us.
(33:03):
We all have the ability to tapinto this pure innocence anytime
we'd like.
It's our natural state and thisis ultimately the game to play.
If you can see this in yourself, you can begin to see it in
(33:23):
others.
It brings an entirely new levelof compassion to the mix and a
way to bridge the gap betweenwhat's blocking us from loving
each other, experiencing thebeauty of our lives, knowing
true bliss and, ultimately,loving ourselves, regaining the
(33:47):
innocence within ourselves,freeze us from suffering.
We are perfect, just the way weare.
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