June 8, 2025 • 13 mins
Unlock the secret to a thriving family culture with this heartfelt episode of Motherhood: The Best Job in the World! Join host Kelsey Redd, a stay-at-home mom, as she shares four sacred rituals to transform your parenting from reactive to intentional. Discover practical parenting tips like how to make sacred rituals out of family mealtimes, one-on-one car conversations, unrushed mornings, and dedicated bedtimes to foster connection and a nurturing home environment. Perfect for busy moms seeking to build a meaningful family culture, these intentional parenting strategies help creating lasting bonds and a sense of security. With ideas inspired by Household Habits expert, Justin Whitmel Earley, this episode offers actionable ideas to balance the chaos of motherhood with purposeful routines. Tune in for relatable stories, stress-reducing techniques, and insights to create a family culture you’re proud of. Connect with Kelsey on social media or the podcast website to share your journey! Subscribe now, share this show with a mom friend, and join the conversation!
Subscribe now, share this show with a mom friend, and join the conversation!
Connect with Kelsey:
@creating.intentional.mothers
creating.intentional.mothers@gmail.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kelsey (00:01):
It is very possible that stay at home moms are the
busiest people on the planet.From morning until night, the
moment we wake up till themoment we go to sleep, we are
busy helping all the kids do allthe things we're finding missing
shoes, we're cleaning up spills,we're cleaning up Legos before
(00:22):
we step on another one. It'seasy to get caught up in all the
things we have to do to justsurvive day to day, much less
try to keep a clean home or havesome time for self care or just
go have a hobby. But there arefour critical routines that I
call sacred because they are soimportant in creating a family
(00:46):
culture that we're proud of.Let's talk about them.
Welcome to motherhood, the bestjob in the world. I'm your host,
Kelsey Redd, a stay at home momjust like you, sharing practical
parenting tips so you can findjoy in mothering.
(01:10):
Now I'm not gonna give you alist of four things you need to
do every day with every childperfectly in order to keep your
family connected. It'simpossible. It won't happen.
There's too many moving parts.And then if you're like me,
there's too many kids. Andthere's only one of me, and I
only have so much energy to goaround. But I do have four
(01:33):
crucial and what I considersacred rituals that I try to
keep my family grounded in. AndI have a minimum standard that I
try to meet, and I consider it awin if I can meet that standard
each day or each week as we'lldiscuss.
So let's get into it. First up,one meal per day. Is there one
(01:56):
meal, breakfast, lunch, dinner,that you can bring your whole
family together to sit around atable and eat that meal together
as a sacred space. I keep sayingsacred because it means set
apart. It means differentiatedfrom the rest of the world.
(02:16):
And this is what I mean bysacred mealtime. No
distractions, no phones, notoys. And in our family, we have
the rule that we don't answerthe door if someone knocks while
we're all seated at the table,because we want to emphasize
that when our family is togetheraround the table eating or even
just talking, that is a setapart space that's more
(02:41):
important than anything elsegoing on in the world at that
time. And for little kids, it'sall about building social skills
and the security of having aregular routine that the family
all participates in. With littlekids and limited time, family
mealtimes don't have to befancy.
It honestly is not about thefood anyways. In fact, we tell
(03:06):
our kids all the time thatdinner is not just about eating.
It's about conversation. Andsome of my favorite things to do
while we're at the dinner tabletogether is to ask fun questions
like would you rather games. Wealso have a pass the salt game.
(03:28):
It doesn't have to be salt. Itcan be whatever. But pass the
water bottle game, wherewhoever's holding the water
bottle or the salt or theliterally anything they can pick
up off the table is the one whogets to answer all the questions
that we ask. It's a great timeto get to know your child a
little bit more, slip in somedeeper questions as you ask some
(03:48):
fun ones, and learn the skill ofconversing, of asking questions
and waiting for an answer,taking turns talking. These are
all the skills that are builtjust by having a meal together
and by setting it apart as atime of no distractions and no
phones and no busyness.
These kinds of moments buildbonds even if dinner's a little
(04:12):
bit chaotic or you're servingleftovers for the second night
in a row. Try to make meals onemeal a day sacred for your
family. Okay. Next, one on onecar conversations. The rule here
is that if I am ever in the carwith only one child at a time,
(04:39):
that car ride has become sacred,and it is set apart with no
radio, phones, no AirPods, and Iam just trying to engage my
child in conversation duringthat drive.
These are some of the mostprofound times to have
conversations about what's goingon in their life, about how
(05:00):
they're feeling about theirfriends or the activities
they're doing. There's somethingabout the quiet space and the
side by side position with noeye contact and no pressure that
makes kids talk. Now my kids arestill really young. So most of
the time they're behind me, andit's actually kinda hard to have
(05:21):
a conversation. But my oldesttwo, my twins are just getting
to the age where if we're notgoing too far and it's just me
and them, me and one of them, Ilet them sit in the front seat
and we can have a conversation.
I want to start now to show themthat you can talk to mom about
anything when we're in the cartogether. As you get older, this
(05:44):
becomes even more important,especially when it comes to, you
know, that awkward stage whereit could be hard to talk to mom
and dad about some things.Again, being able to look away,
to look out the window, to knowthat mom and dad are not
focusing their gaze on you,feels so much less pressure and
allows kids and tweens to startopening up in ways they might
(06:06):
not have. I am guilty ofsometimes just wanting to have
my AirPods in and listen to mypodcasts or listen to my
audiobooks or even just zone outand enjoy some radio. But if I'm
traveling with one kid, thatbecomes a sacred car ride.
(06:30):
My next ritual, sacred ritual,is one unrushed morning per week
of the family all home togetherwith nowhere to hurry off to.
This one's tricky. Obviously,most days of the week, dad has
to be at work at a certain time.I like to go work out in the
(06:54):
morning, and it sometimesrequires me to sacrifice leaving
in the morning so that I can bethere when my kids wake up and
come jump in to bed with mefirst thing in the morning, and
to have nothing else to do andnowhere else to go. Especially
for kids who have to startlearning the morning routine of
(07:18):
wake up, get dressed, eat yourbreakfast, get your shoes on so
we can get in the car and go toschool.
That is stressful. That isstressful, especially for young
kids. So having at least onemorning a week allows there to
be space for kids to slow down,have a calm start, take a deep
(07:41):
breath, and just let that daystart off gently. So this week,
see if you can find one morningwhere you can delay what you
have to do or maybe get it doneeven earlier before you know
anyone will be awake, and plannothing until, like, 10:00 in
the morning and just alloweveryone to wake up whenever
(08:05):
they want, maybe start with abig family cuddle session and
just see how the day progresses.Can we have some stuff ready to
go for the next morning, likebreakfast premade or bags packed
so that we don't have to rushand do that first thing in the
morning?
These are options to help youhave a little more free time in
(08:28):
the morning. And the lastattachment building, connection
building, sacred ritual that Itry to implement as often as
possible, but my minimum is onebedtime per kid per week.
(08:49):
Bedtime can be a battle. I mean,let's be honest, most of the
time it is. I am typicallylosing my patience by the end of
the night.
I have stuff I wanna get donewhen everyone's in bed, or I'm
just tired and I wanna go tosleep. It can be rough. But at
least one time per week, I tryto designate a bedtime with one
(09:12):
child where I'm not going torush out of the room, where I'm
going to cuddle as long as theywant. I'm gonna talk as long as
they want with my five year olddaughter. She has so much to
say.
So much to say. I don't thinkshe would fall asleep for an
hour, but I'm not gonna rushher. I'm gonna sing her the
songs she asks me for. I'm goingto rub her back if that's what
(09:34):
she wants. But if I can just dothat for each child, one time a
week, that teaches them that momwill be there.
Dad will be there. We will havean opportunity to get one on one
attention, which with a largefamily can be hard to give to
each child. Sometimes I feellike there's just not enough of
(09:57):
me to go around to all fourkids. But when they have their
undivided bedtime, even if it'sjust once a week, they know I'm
gonna say no to some other kidsbecause I'm busy cuddling with
your brother right now. And ofcourse I'll come in and check on
the others before I go to bedand kiss them goodnight, but I'm
(10:19):
gonna stay here and cuddle withyour brother for a little longer
and see what he needs to hear.
In a different episode, I'mgoing to talk to you about how I
do my bedtimes and one of myfavorite bedtime rituals, which
is called the body blessing,which I learned from one of my
favorite authors, JustinWhitmall Early, who wrote Habits
(10:44):
of the Household, but I'll savethat for a different episode.
However you decide to structureyour bedtime, see if you can set
apart one night per kid, perweek, to give some undivided
attention and let them know thatyou're all theirs. I should also
(11:04):
clarify that I don't designatethese nights ahead of time, like
say on Wednesday night, it's soand so's night. I'm more just,
however it's going, whoeverneeds it, whatever it works out
to be, I try to just give eachkid one night a week. So don't
think that you have to try tofind how am I gonna plan Tuesday
night so that I can be with Janeat bedtime.
(11:27):
Just see how it works out. Theidea is that you have something
you're striving for, which isone bedtime per kid per night. I
hope these give you some ideasfor how being a little bit more
intentional about a couplesacred routines can make a big
(11:47):
difference in your familyculture. Of course, you're gonna
be busy with all the littlethings that come up here and
there. Of course you're notgonna be perfect.
Of course there's gonna be daysor weeks that go by when you
haven't done these and you justcan't find the time or energy.
There are some times when I wantto be this mom, but I just know
(12:09):
I need my own space. And I needto just get in bed without doing
an hour long bedtime. Or there'stimes when I just need to zone
out a little bit and play mymusic in the radio. That's okay
though, that's gonna happen.
That's part of our selfregulation. But if we don't make
the effort to parentintentionally, then we will go
(12:33):
our whole lives with justreacting to the things that come
up in it. There will always be afire to put out. So we have to
set some things apart, considerthem sacred, and do the best we
can to implement some ritualsand routines so that our kids
know what to expect. We feel andfoster that family connection,
(12:57):
and we create the culture thatwe really want our family to
have long term.
I hope this has given you someideas that you can work with
this week. And I hear my kidscoming home from a bike ride,
it's time for me to sign off.Reach out to me and tell me how
your routine goes this week. I'dlove to hear if you try any of
these in your family. If thisepisode has added any value to
(13:20):
your life, please reach out tome.
I would love to connect withyou. Find me on social media or
click on the podcast website.I'll see you next time on
Motherhood, The Best Job in theWorld.
It is very possible that stay at home moms are the
busiest people on the planet.From morning until night, the
moment we wake up till themoment we go to sleep, we are
busy helping all the kids do allthe things we're finding missing
shoes, we're cleaning up spills,we're cleaning up Legos before
(00:22):
we step on another one. It'seasy to get caught up in all the
things we have to do to justsurvive day to day, much less
try to keep a clean home or havesome time for self care or just
go have a hobby. But there arefour critical routines that I
call sacred because they are soimportant in creating a family
(00:46):
culture that we're proud of.Let's talk about them.
Welcome to motherhood, the bestjob in the world. I'm your host,
Kelsey Redd, a stay at home momjust like you, sharing practical
parenting tips so you can findjoy in mothering.
(01:10):
Now I'm not gonna give you alist of four things you need to
do every day with every childperfectly in order to keep your
family connected. It'simpossible. It won't happen.
There's too many moving parts.And then if you're like me,
there's too many kids. Andthere's only one of me, and I
only have so much energy to goaround. But I do have four
(01:33):
crucial and what I considersacred rituals that I try to
keep my family grounded in. AndI have a minimum standard that I
try to meet, and I consider it awin if I can meet that standard
each day or each week as we'lldiscuss.
So let's get into it. First up,one meal per day. Is there one
(01:56):
meal, breakfast, lunch, dinner,that you can bring your whole
family together to sit around atable and eat that meal together
as a sacred space. I keep sayingsacred because it means set
apart. It means differentiatedfrom the rest of the world.
(02:16):
And this is what I mean bysacred mealtime. No
distractions, no phones, notoys. And in our family, we have
the rule that we don't answerthe door if someone knocks while
we're all seated at the table,because we want to emphasize
that when our family is togetheraround the table eating or even
just talking, that is a setapart space that's more
(02:41):
important than anything elsegoing on in the world at that
time. And for little kids, it'sall about building social skills
and the security of having aregular routine that the family
all participates in. With littlekids and limited time, family
mealtimes don't have to befancy.
It honestly is not about thefood anyways. In fact, we tell
(03:06):
our kids all the time thatdinner is not just about eating.
It's about conversation. Andsome of my favorite things to do
while we're at the dinner tabletogether is to ask fun questions
like would you rather games. Wealso have a pass the salt game.
(03:28):
It doesn't have to be salt. Itcan be whatever. But pass the
water bottle game, wherewhoever's holding the water
bottle or the salt or theliterally anything they can pick
up off the table is the one whogets to answer all the questions
that we ask. It's a great timeto get to know your child a
little bit more, slip in somedeeper questions as you ask some
(03:48):
fun ones, and learn the skill ofconversing, of asking questions
and waiting for an answer,taking turns talking. These are
all the skills that are builtjust by having a meal together
and by setting it apart as atime of no distractions and no
phones and no busyness.
These kinds of moments buildbonds even if dinner's a little
(04:12):
bit chaotic or you're servingleftovers for the second night
in a row. Try to make meals onemeal a day sacred for your
family. Okay. Next, one on onecar conversations. The rule here
is that if I am ever in the carwith only one child at a time,
(04:39):
that car ride has become sacred,and it is set apart with no
radio, phones, no AirPods, and Iam just trying to engage my
child in conversation duringthat drive.
These are some of the mostprofound times to have
conversations about what's goingon in their life, about how
(05:00):
they're feeling about theirfriends or the activities
they're doing. There's somethingabout the quiet space and the
side by side position with noeye contact and no pressure that
makes kids talk. Now my kids arestill really young. So most of
the time they're behind me, andit's actually kinda hard to have
(05:21):
a conversation. But my oldesttwo, my twins are just getting
to the age where if we're notgoing too far and it's just me
and them, me and one of them, Ilet them sit in the front seat
and we can have a conversation.
I want to start now to show themthat you can talk to mom about
anything when we're in the cartogether. As you get older, this
(05:44):
becomes even more important,especially when it comes to, you
know, that awkward stage whereit could be hard to talk to mom
and dad about some things.Again, being able to look away,
to look out the window, to knowthat mom and dad are not
focusing their gaze on you,feels so much less pressure and
allows kids and tweens to startopening up in ways they might
(06:06):
not have. I am guilty ofsometimes just wanting to have
my AirPods in and listen to mypodcasts or listen to my
audiobooks or even just zone outand enjoy some radio. But if I'm
traveling with one kid, thatbecomes a sacred car ride.
(06:30):
My next ritual, sacred ritual,is one unrushed morning per week
of the family all home togetherwith nowhere to hurry off to.
This one's tricky. Obviously,most days of the week, dad has
to be at work at a certain time.I like to go work out in the
(06:54):
morning, and it sometimesrequires me to sacrifice leaving
in the morning so that I can bethere when my kids wake up and
come jump in to bed with mefirst thing in the morning, and
to have nothing else to do andnowhere else to go. Especially
for kids who have to startlearning the morning routine of
(07:18):
wake up, get dressed, eat yourbreakfast, get your shoes on so
we can get in the car and go toschool.
That is stressful. That isstressful, especially for young
kids. So having at least onemorning a week allows there to
be space for kids to slow down,have a calm start, take a deep
(07:41):
breath, and just let that daystart off gently. So this week,
see if you can find one morningwhere you can delay what you
have to do or maybe get it doneeven earlier before you know
anyone will be awake, and plannothing until, like, 10:00 in
the morning and just alloweveryone to wake up whenever
(08:05):
they want, maybe start with abig family cuddle session and
just see how the day progresses.Can we have some stuff ready to
go for the next morning, likebreakfast premade or bags packed
so that we don't have to rushand do that first thing in the
morning?
These are options to help youhave a little more free time in
(08:28):
the morning. And the lastattachment building, connection
building, sacred ritual that Itry to implement as often as
possible, but my minimum is onebedtime per kid per week.
(08:49):
Bedtime can be a battle. I mean,let's be honest, most of the
time it is. I am typicallylosing my patience by the end of
the night.
I have stuff I wanna get donewhen everyone's in bed, or I'm
just tired and I wanna go tosleep. It can be rough. But at
least one time per week, I tryto designate a bedtime with one
(09:12):
child where I'm not going torush out of the room, where I'm
going to cuddle as long as theywant. I'm gonna talk as long as
they want with my five year olddaughter. She has so much to
say.
So much to say. I don't thinkshe would fall asleep for an
hour, but I'm not gonna rushher. I'm gonna sing her the
songs she asks me for. I'm goingto rub her back if that's what
(09:34):
she wants. But if I can just dothat for each child, one time a
week, that teaches them that momwill be there.
Dad will be there. We will havean opportunity to get one on one
attention, which with a largefamily can be hard to give to
each child. Sometimes I feellike there's just not enough of
(09:57):
me to go around to all fourkids. But when they have their
undivided bedtime, even if it'sjust once a week, they know I'm
gonna say no to some other kidsbecause I'm busy cuddling with
your brother right now. And ofcourse I'll come in and check on
the others before I go to bedand kiss them goodnight, but I'm
(10:19):
gonna stay here and cuddle withyour brother for a little longer
and see what he needs to hear.
In a different episode, I'mgoing to talk to you about how I
do my bedtimes and one of myfavorite bedtime rituals, which
is called the body blessing,which I learned from one of my
favorite authors, JustinWhitmall Early, who wrote Habits
(10:44):
of the Household, but I'll savethat for a different episode.
However you decide to structureyour bedtime, see if you can set
apart one night per kid, perweek, to give some undivided
attention and let them know thatyou're all theirs. I should also
(11:04):
clarify that I don't designatethese nights ahead of time, like
say on Wednesday night, it's soand so's night. I'm more just,
however it's going, whoeverneeds it, whatever it works out
to be, I try to just give eachkid one night a week. So don't
think that you have to try tofind how am I gonna plan Tuesday
night so that I can be with Janeat bedtime.
(11:27):
Just see how it works out. Theidea is that you have something
you're striving for, which isone bedtime per kid per night. I
hope these give you some ideasfor how being a little bit more
intentional about a couplesacred routines can make a big
(11:47):
difference in your familyculture. Of course, you're gonna
be busy with all the littlethings that come up here and
there. Of course you're notgonna be perfect.
Of course there's gonna be daysor weeks that go by when you
haven't done these and you justcan't find the time or energy.
There are some times when I wantto be this mom, but I just know
(12:09):
I need my own space. And I needto just get in bed without doing
an hour long bedtime. Or there'stimes when I just need to zone
out a little bit and play mymusic in the radio. That's okay
though, that's gonna happen.
That's part of our selfregulation. But if we don't make
the effort to parentintentionally, then we will go
(12:33):
our whole lives with justreacting to the things that come
up in it. There will always be afire to put out. So we have to
set some things apart, considerthem sacred, and do the best we
can to implement some ritualsand routines so that our kids
know what to expect. We feel andfoster that family connection,
(12:57):
and we create the culture thatwe really want our family to
have long term.
I hope this has given you someideas that you can work with
this week. And I hear my kidscoming home from a bike ride,
it's time for me to sign off.Reach out to me and tell me how
your routine goes this week. I'dlove to hear if you try any of
these in your family. If thisepisode has added any value to
(13:20):
your life, please reach out tome.
I would love to connect withyou. Find me on social media or
click on the podcast website.I'll see you next time on
Motherhood, The Best Job in theWorld.
Popular Podcasts
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides. Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.