Mindful Communication for Little Boys

In this episode of Motherhood: The Best Job in the World, Kelsey Redd, mental health counselor turned stay-at-home mom, shares a funny, eye-opening parenting story about the gender differences between her boy-girl twins — and what it taught her about communicating with toddlers. Learn why toddler boys may not "see" messes the way girls do, and how you can use specific parenting scripts and simple, concrete instructions to help young kids listen, follow directions, and cooperate without frustration.

If you're wondering how to get your toddler to listen, how to talk to young kids in a way that works, or how to stop nagging and start connecting, this episode is for you. Kelsey gives practical parenting tips for improving toddler cooperation, reducing power struggles, and adjusting your communication style based on your child's unique perspective, gender, and personality.

✨ Topics covered:

• How to get toddlers to follow directions
• Talking to toddler boys vs toddler girls
• Parenting twins and understanding gender differences
• Gentle parenting scripts that actually work
• How to communicate with toddlers so they listen
• Encouraging cooperation without yelling

🎙 Follow the podcast and connect with Kelsey @creating.intentional.mothers for more mindful parenting tips, relatable stories, and practical tools for enjoying motherhood and raising emotionally healthy kids.

Episode Transcript

Kelsey Redd (00:10):
Welcome to Motherhood, the best job in the
world. I'm your host, KelseyRedd, a mental health counselor
turned stay at home mom,empowering you with skills and
knowledge you need to be thebest mom you can be and actually
enjoy motherhood and even findhumor in the antics we

(00:31):
experience every day. Don'tforget to follow the show so you
can get notifications of newepisodes and follow me on
Instagram at motherhoodunderscore the best job so that
if you're feeling stuck orfeeling like you aren't enjoying
this motherhood thing, you canshoot me a DM or email me. And
let's set up a time to talk, seewhat's going on for you. I would

(00:54):
love to help you find yourpurpose, find yourself again,
and equip you with the tools youneed so that you can have a plan
and even scripts for motheringso you can enjoy doing the best
job in the world.
Today, I'm gonna tell you aninteresting lesson I learned
about gender differences and howwe need to communicate a little

(01:19):
differently for boys and girls.
I have had the most enjoyable and hilarious social
experiment by having my boy girltwins. I think it's the most fun
thing that you could everpossibly experience, and I
highly highly recommend if youever get the chance to have

(01:40):
twins and especially boy girltwins, that you take that
opportunity because it is sofun.
So let me tell you a little story. The other day,
I'm looking around the house andI'm just about to start with
cleanup time. The house is adisaster and I'm like, okay, I'm
gonna do this in the best waypossible to get cooperation from

(02:04):
my kids so that I'm not justasking them and demanding them
to clean up the house, but sothat it's actually their idea
and they really want tocooperate in this cleanup time
with me.
So I'm going to do all thethings that all the parenting
coaches tell you to do. So I goover to my son who's on the
couch building something withsome Legos. I get down on his

(02:25):
level. I put a hand on his armto get his attention.
I look into his eyes, and with the most calming,
regulated parent voice I canmuster, I say, honey, what do
you think we should do aboutthis living room?
And he looks around, what mom?It looks fine.

(02:50):
And I'm like, okay. So I ask again a new question.
Does it look a little messy toyou? Let let me put this into
context. This is the kind ofcleanup situation where there's,
like, toys scattered all over,all over the floor. The couches

(03:11):
the couch cushions areeverywhere. Books, Legos, Magna
Tiles, toys just strewn about.
So I'm like, does it look alittle messy to you?
And he looks around again and he's like, there's
like one thing out, but like, wecan still walk, which

(03:32):
technically I guess is true if Iwe can still walk through the
living room, he means that wecan tiptoe through the mess
avoiding Legos like land mines,then yes, that's true. We can
still walk through.
And so I'm starting to decide I need to take a

(03:52):
different approach. So I say,well, honey, maybe we can clean
up a little bit and then it'llbe easier to walk through. And
he says, I'll clean one thing.As he reaches for a Lego
slightly out of reach and addsit to his pile that he's playing

(04:13):
with.
So now at this point, I'm starting to go crazy.
I'm starting to think that mymind is going to explode and my
daughter, his twin sister, walksinto the room and I call her
over to me. And in the mostgenuine, curious way with

(04:33):
pleading, my eyes just pleadingthe way a mad woman pleads for
sanity, I ask her in the mostsincere way I can. I say, babe,
does this room look messy toyou? Because at this point, I'm
wondering, am I hallucinatinghere? Am I just absolutely

(04:54):
insane? Am I seeing things? Am Ihallucinating of messes, of Lego
messes everywhere? So I asked mydaughter, does this room look
dirty to you?
Does this room look messy to you? And she looks
around and she says, yeah. I'mlike, oh, thank goodness. I'm
not crazy.
And I ask her, okay, what do yousee? And she says, well, there's

(05:20):
Magna Tiles everywhere andthere's Legos all over and I see
books and I see pillows and Isee toys and I see and she goes
on and starts listing every itemshe sees in the her in the
living room similar to how mybrain is working, right? And I'm
secretly just thanking mydaughter for being a normal

(05:44):
woman, young woman andrecognizing what it is that I
see and that I deal with everyday. So what does this teach us?
How can we take this informationand be a better mom from this
information?
Well, I learned a valuablelesson. I learned that my son is
not going to see things the sameway I see things. I learned that

(06:07):
I'm going to have to usedifferent communication when I'm
talking to my son than when I'mtalking to my daughter.
And here's a pro tip, have anyof you ever experienced this in
your marriage? Has anyone everwondered why you walk into a
room and see 400 things thatneed to get worked on or taken

(06:27):
care of and your husband doesn'tseem to notice the same way you
do? Well, next time thathappens, you can rest assured
that your husband is notintentionally trying to drive
you crazy. But actually, sincethe time he was probably a young
child, he has not been able tosee the mess in the room.

(06:48):
Just like my five year old sontaught me, that there are actual
genetic differences in the wayboys and girls, and later men
and women, see the world aroundthem. So let's just give each
other a little grace.
And when we talk to the boys inour life, we might have to say,
honey, I see 10 Legos that needto be put away. Can you go pick

(07:14):
up 10 Legos? Or hey, honey, Iwant you to go find every green
magnet tile and put all thegreen magnet tiles together and
put away in the tub. Or let'scount how many couch cushions we
can put back up on the couch.
Those might be the instructionsthat we give to the boys. But

(07:37):
what I do like about this lessonis that it reminds us to find a
little bit of the humor and torecognize that we might have to
tailor our communication, ourrequests, our instructions, even
our discipline to each childbased on gender differences, of
course based on age differencesand based on personality

(07:58):
differences. Each child has tobe parented so uniquely and this
is a perfect reminder of whatsome of those differences might
look like and how we can tailorour communication to get better
results from each kid. If youenjoy hearing relatable stories
and specific scripts that youcan use in your parenting.

(08:21):
Don't forget to follow the show,follow me on Instagram and let's
be in touch. Join theconversation by sending me your
stories. I'd love to hear fromyou. I'll see you next time on
Motherhood. The best job in theworld.