8 | 3 Reasons You Need Kid-Free Hobbies: Preserving Self-Identity as a Mom

Welcome to Intentional Motherhood: Peaceful Parenting Skills for Deeper Connection & Living with Purpose (formerly known as Motherhood: The Best Job in the World!)
I hear so many moms that say they don’t do anything for themselves. Or tell me they can’t even remember what they used to enjoy. This is a problem! If this is you, DM me and let’s get on a coaching call and find your identity again! 

When you enjoy hobbies for yourself, you can be the mom you want to be and here’s why:

1️⃣ When you fill your own cup, you have more resources to pour into your family. You can’t keep giving and giving without ever replenishing yourself. Some kid free time doing something you love will give you the mental, emotional, and even physical energy to be a happy and present mom. 

2️⃣ Having your own hobbies models to your kids that it is OK to take breaks and give yourself what you need. How often do you tell your kid to go have some quiet time or take some space when they’re overstimulated, but are we modeling this for them? Not to mention the benefit of SHOWING kids how we are trying new things, learning and failing, and that we value play when we go out and do it ourselves!

3️⃣ Spending time in kid-free hobbies allows you to reconnect with who you are outside of being a mom. This helps preserve and strengthen your individual identity, which can so easily get lost in the all-consuming process of raising tiny humans.

Subscribe now, share this show with a mom friend, and join the conversation! 

Connect with Kelsey:

@creating.intentional.mothers
[e-mail]

Episode Transcript

Kelsey Redd (00:11):
Hi friends, welcome to Motherhood, the best job in
the world. I'm your host, KelseyRedd, a therapist turned stay at
home mom, empowering you withthe skills and knowledge you
need to be the best mom you canbe and to actually enjoy
motherhood. Don't forget tofollow the show so you can get
notifications of new episodesand follow me on Instagram

(00:34):
motherhoodthebestjob. And ifyou're feeling stuck or feeling
like you aren't enjoying thismotherhood thing, shoot me a DM
or email me motherhood.Thebestjobgmail dot com to set
up a coaching call.
I would love to help you findyour purpose, find yourself

(00:54):
again, and equip you with toolsso you can find ultimate joy in
motherhood. You guys, I hear somany moms say that they don't do
anything for themselves or theytell me they can't even remember
what they used to enjoy doing.Does this sound like you? Do you
have hobbies Or are you feelinglike, I don't have time to do

(01:16):
anything for myself?
This is a problem, ladies. Ifthis is you, we need to talk.
Let's get on a coaching call andfind your identity again. We
need to be enjoying hobbies forourself. When you have things
outside of motherhood, it allowsyou to be the mom you really

(01:40):
want to be, and here is why.Reason number one that you
should have kid free hobbies.
When you fill your own cup, youhave more resources to pour into
your family. You can't just keepgiving and giving and giving to
everyone else without everreplenishing your own mental and

(02:02):
emotional energies. Some kidfree time doing something that
you love, that's just for fun,that brings you pleasure, will
give you the mental andemotional and even physical
energy to be a happy and presentmom. Reason number two: Having

(02:24):
your own hobbies actually modelsto your kids that it's okay to
take breaks and give yourselfwhat you need. How often do you

tell your kid (02:32):
you need a break.
Go have some quiet time. Go playby yourself. I say this to my
kids all the time when they'regetting overly aggressive,
overstimulated, getting insanelydisrespectful, I'm like, woah,
okay, you need a little bit ofyou time. And yet, do we model

(02:55):
this for them? Do we show themin day to day life that, Hey, I
need some time to go dosomething for me.
I need a little break where Ican just go have some fun, have
some space, and I will come backre energized, more happy, ready

(03:15):
to reengage with the familyagain. Another aspect of this
modeling is that we are actuallyshowing our kids, by our
example, that we are willing totry new things. We're learning,
we're failing, and we valueplay. Again, how often do we
stick our kid into a sport or anew class and we're like you're

(03:36):
gonna do great! But do they seeus going out into something that
maybe is a little scary or maybeis a new situation where we feel
a little anxiety and say, I'm alittle nervous to try this but
I'm gonna go do it anyways orI'm a little worried that I
don't know how to do this newthing but I'm gonna go do it

(03:57):
anyways.
Why don't we show them by ourexample that we are willing to
do the same things we expectthem to do? Alright, reason
number three that you shouldhave some kid free hobbies is
that when you're spending timedoing things for you, things
that bring you pleasure, you areable to reconnect with who you

(04:20):
are outside of being a mom. Thatself identity piece. This gives
you your own individual identityand actually strengthens that
sense of identity becauseotherwise we can get lost. It's
so easy to get lost inmotherhood.

(04:40):
It's so easy to spend all of ourwaking moments focused on other
people, taking care of otherpeople's needs, even at the
neglect of our self care, ourself hygiene, our interests and
our pleasures. And if we dothis, it ultimately leads to
burnout and unfortunatelyresentment. We have to be

(05:04):
preserving and strengthening ourown self identity so that we
don't get burned out or startresenting our family for needing
so much from us. So I challengeyou today to do something for
yourself, do something for fun,do something that brings you
pleasure for no other reasonthan to just enjoy it. If you

(05:26):
can do it kid free, all thebetter.
If not, that's okay. It's agoal. It's a work in progress.
Eventually we'll get you there.I want to help you find yourself
again.
I want to help you feel joy inmothering. So if you can relate
to feeling lost in motherhood,if you can relate to feeling
like I don't even know what Iwould do with an hour of free

(05:47):
time, let's talk. We need to mapout your self identity and I
have a whole worksheet to guideyou through it. Send me a DM on
Instagram motherhoodthebestjobor shoot me an email motherhood.
Thebestjobgmail dot com so wecan create a plan to get you
back to yourself and toultimately find joy in

(06:07):
motherhood.
I'll see you next time.