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December 15, 2023 67 mins

In this episode, Michelle Renee is joined by Aubri Lancaster, an asexuality and aromanticism educator. They discuss the concepts of asexuality and aromanticism, providing a comprehensive understanding of these orientations. Michelle shares her personal journey and how she discovered her own asexuality. They also explore the connection between aphantasia and asexuality. The conversation highlights the importance of differentiating between sexual attraction and desire. In this conversation, Aubri Lancaster and Michelle Renee discuss personal desire and attraction, exploring intimacy beyond sex, different pathways to asexuality, navigating sexual attraction and desire, expanding the definition of intimacy, challenges in sex education and advocacy, the importance of language and understanding, and decentering sex in relationships. The conversation explores the topic of solo sex within committed relationships and the importance of communication and negotiation in maintaining a healthy sexual dynamic. It challenges the societal expectation that sex should only occur within a partnership and highlights the need for individuals to prioritize their own sexual satisfaction. The conversation emphasizes the significance of open dialogue and mutual understanding in navigating differences in sexual preferences. Overall, it encourages a shift towards more inclusive and personalized relationship agreements.


Aubri Lancaster is an AASECT certified sexuality educator with a focus on asexuality and aromantisism. She can be found at ⁠AceSexEducation.com⁠ or @acesexeducation on social media.


Check out Aubri's upcoming webinar "Am I Ace Enough?"


Michelle Renee (she/her) is a San Diego-based Intimacy Guide and Surrogate Partner. Michelle's website is⁠ ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and can be found on social media at @meetmichellerenee.


Takeaways

  • Understanding personal desire and attraction is a complex and individual experience.
  • Intimacy can be experienced in various forms, including platonic, intellectual, and touch-based connections.
  • Asexuality encompasses different pathways and experiences, and it is important to recognize and respect these diverse perspectives.
  • Sexual attraction and desire can be separate from emotional and romantic connections.
  • There are many ways to connect and experience pleasure beyond sexual activity.
  • Sex education and advocacy face challenges in terms of societal norms and limited support.
  • Language and understanding play a crucial role in exploring and accepting diverse sexual orientations and experiences.
  • Relationships can prioritize different forms of connection and intimacy, and sex does not have to be the central focus. It is acceptable to prioritize solo sex even in committed partnerships.
  • Lack of communication and understanding can lead to issues in sexual dynamics.
  • Negotiating relationship agreements is crucial for establishing mutual satisfaction and avoiding societal expectations.
  • Open dialogue and self-awareness are essential in navigating differences in sexual preferences.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an upcoming episode, click here.


To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers, click here.


Links from today's episode:

Aubri's Episode of The Bonding Hour

Michelle's Episode of The Bonding Hour

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