Intimate Covenant Podcast
Biblical Perspective for a Fuller Marriage and Extraordinary Sex! Most married couples want more for their marriage, especially when it comes to sex. Intimate Covenant offers biblical teaching and resources to help achieve oneness with your spouse, resulting in a fuller relationship and an extraordinary sex life. Warning: We cover necessary and important topics about the marriage relationship and sex. We use frank language without being crude or crass. Our approach is biblical and wholesome, but not intended for singles — especially not for children.
Episodes
We explore findings from three recent scientific studies that show how flexible expectations, strong relationships, and emotional meaning shape a lifetime of sexual satisfaction in marriage.
- Bouchard KN, Cormier M, Huberman JS, Rosen NO. Sexual script flexibility and sexual well-being in long-term couples. Journal of Sexual Medicine. 2023.
- Tavares IM, Rosen NO, Heiman JR, Nobre PJ. Longitudinal associations between ...
In this episode, we share a few more segments from our live Q&A at the 2025 Annual Retreat; all of these had to do with the pursuer-responder dynamic. Specifically, we covered questions about:
- What is God teaching me through the pursuer-responder dynamic?
- Is compromise the answer to sexual desire discrepancy?
- What if, despite the sterotype, the husband doesn’t want sex?
- How should a wife deal with the role of relucta...
What happens when a room full of couples asks the questions most people are afraid to say out loud? We lean into the hard stuff: purity culture hangovers, what “counts” as sex, how to tell the truth without breaking trust, and how aging bodies can still enjoy rich, connected intimacy. Recorded live at our Intimate Covenant Marriage Retreat, this candid Q&A blends biblical wisdom, practical tools, and warm honesty to ...
Today we’re sharing some excerpts from our live Q&A session during a recent Marriage Day in Illinois. Listen to our responses to questions about:
- How to find unity of spiritual purpose when we have different passions?
- As a wife, how do I avoid nagging in my role to be a helpmeet?
- How can we create a community for porn recovery and support for betrayed spouses?
- Practically speaking, how do we pray together as a couple...
We trace how Darwin and Freud shaped cultural ideas about sex and how these philosophies have infiltrated even modern religion.
- Darwin and Freud both rejected a divine order of the universe or a spiritual guide for moral and ethical living. Their influences profoundly shape the course of modern philosophy and our current society.
- Many modern Christians have unwittingly adopted influences from Darwin and Freud into thei...
Augustine and subsequent Medieval sexual theology have profoundly influenced modern Christian teachings on sexuality, often causing unnecessary shame and restrictions that aren't biblically based. During the Middle Ages, the influence of Augustine, with echoes of Greek philosophy, intensified into even more unnecessarily restrictive laws and unbiblical teachings about sex. Contrary to Augustine and classic Catholic ...
Matt and Jenn explore how ancient Greek philosophy has shaped modern Christian attitudes toward sexuality, creating an unbiblical culture of shame and stigma around sexual desire.
• Plato's dualism in the 4th century BC separated body and soul, viewing bodily desires as inferior to spiritual pursuits
• Stoicism further emphasized suppression of passions, teaching that sex was only acceptable within marr...
Matt and Jenn use a cooking analogy to explore how great married sex requires more than just "spices" – it needs solid foundational ingredients of spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical connection.
• Adding more spice to bad ingredients doesn't make a dish better; it likely makes it worse.
• In struggling marriages, focusing solely on sexual excitement without addressing overall closeness ...
Warning: We cover necessary and important topics about the marriage relationship and sex. We use frank language without being crude or crass. Our approach is biblical and wholesome, but not intended for singles — especially not for children.
Difficult conversations are at the heart of successful marriages, yet many struggle with vulnerability and emotional expression. We explore practical ways to share feelings authe...
In this episode, Matt & Jenn tackle the concept of "organic sex" and whether truly spontaneous intimacy is even possible in a long-term marriage. The myth that good sex should just naturally happen without planning or effort has damaged many marriages and created unrealistic expectations.
• Sex is natural but not naturally perfect - it requires intentional cultivation
• Many couples believe the...
In this episode, Matt & Jenn share an encore episode about reassessing your expectations for your marriage and moving the trajectory of your relationship through personal investment.
- Mature past the selfish motivations of relationship and begin to see the true fulfillment of covenant love built on self-sacrifice — in your marriage and in your relationship to God.
- Instead of asking "What do I want FROM my marri...
In this "Christmas Q&A Potpourri" episode, Matt & Jenn are sharing segments from previous live Q&A sessions. We're answering the following questions:
- Should I sacrifice my desire for sexual intimacy if my spouse does not desire sex?
- What are your favorite topics of conversation for rejuvenation and reconnection?
- How do I handle my spouse being defensive when i ask them any question?
- How do I gr...
In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer the following listener questions:
- What advice do you have for couples that have great sex but struggle talking about sex? We’ve tried conversation starters but the answers are always brief.
- I’m ashamed how much value I place on my spouses physical appearance. Self-improvement is a good virtue, but how do I ensure my motives are not immoral or shallow
- I enjoy sleeping naked. My wif...
In this episode, Matt & Jenn share another set of clips from the Q&A session at our recent Annual Marriage Retreat. We cover the following questions:
- What ways can I warm my spouse up to more public displays of affection?
- Discuss navigating, in different seasons, sexual pursuer/responder roles switching. It's not a smooth transition and can be confusing.
- What if you are the sexual AND the emotional persue...
This episode is an excerpt from the live Q&A session at the 2024 Annual Marriage Retreat. We’re sharing our response to the following question: “Can you go into further detail on how the act of sex can glorify God?” We’re also sharing our responses to questions about sex toys, solo masturbation, modeling a healthy sexual relationship for your kids, and when to talk to your kids about pornography.
We also wan...
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the complaint, "My spouse never initiates sex." So, whose job is it, anyway? How can I get my spouse to initiate more often?
- Whether it’s sexual connection or any other aspect of your relationship, if you sense a lack of it in your relationship, it’s up to you to initiate what is missing.
- If you feel like you are the only one initiating, keep striving. But, recognize —...
In this episode, Matt & Jenn compare the sexual relationship to a hurricane. Sex, like a hurricane, is a powerful, God-given force. While we can’t direct the path of a hurricane, quiet the gale-force winds, or suppress the rising waters, we do have control over the effects of sex in our own marriages.
- The forces of a hurricane are mostly destructive. But the power of sexual desire can be channeled to constructive,...
In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener's email from a wife who is feeling rejected because her husband, the usual sexual pursuer, has stopped initiating. We'll explore some of the reasons this might be happening and what she can do about it. Plus, we give some personal updates and exciting announcements about the future of Intimate Covenant.
- Sexual pursuers may stop for many reasons and it’s ...
In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some of the latest TikTok relationship tests and whether there is something we can learn about our marriages from these viral trends.
- If you really want to test your relationship, pick up a mirror rather than a microscope. Only you can change you.
- “Turn towards” rather than “turning away” from your spouse by making and receiving bids for connection.
- Whether your prior rejection...
In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the resurging popularity of sleeping in separate bedrooms. We'll consider the reasons why a couple might choose this option and whether it might be wise for your marriage. In addition, we'll discuss some of the consequences of spouses who have separate bedtimes.
- Every step we take away from our spouses, especially physically, has inevitable negative long-term consequen...
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