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April 3, 2025 38 mins

This week, Debi and Sam are joined by David Weaver, volunteer leader at Dream City Church

David, Sam and Debi talk about David's journey of coming to know the Lord in his 40s.  He talks about how other men in the church modeled
 what it means to be a father and a husband, something he had never really seen before.  

David, Sam and Debi also talk about the term "toxic masculinity"  and why we need strong, godly men in society.  We need men to be a strong presence in homes, with children and in society or society becomes unbalanced. But, those men must be sanctified by spending time with God and in healthy relationships with other Christian men.

To Find out more about Dream City Church https://dreamcitychurch.us

Please follow Into the Fire podcast on your favorite podcast platform, give us a 5-star rating and leave a review!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Hey everybody, Pastor Luke Barnett here, and I
want to just invite you all tobe part of our Easter trilogy
this year.
This year is going to be off thecharts.
It's the greatest year thatwe've ever put together.
Week one of our Easter trilogyon April 6th is called The God
of the Second Chance.
If you know people who just needa second chance at life, invite

(00:22):
them to come with you.
Week two of the trilogy is April13th, and it's called The God of
No Regret.
If you know people who areliving, being weighed down by
great regret.
This is a weekend for them.
It's also our big Easter egghunt and just a wonderful,
wonderful weekend.
And then finally, on the April20th is Easter Sunday, and it's

(00:47):
a brand new illustrated sermoncalled The God of the Cave.
God does some of his greatestwork in caves.
Now, the Friday before that'sour big Good Friday service, and
if you've been to our GoodFridays you know that it is
absolutely spectacular.
About 2,500 people outsideunderneath our shade structure

(01:08):
and beautiful music and a timeof reflection upon the cross.
So, hey, what do you say?
Come join us this year for theEaster Trilogy.
It will change your life.
God bless you guys.
Love y'all.

SPEAKER_03 (01:21):
Today's topic is make men manly again.
We're joined today by ourspecial guest, Dave Weaver.
Thank you for being here withus.
Thank

SPEAKER_02 (01:29):
you for having me.

SPEAKER_03 (01:30):
Yeah.
So can you just introduceyourself a little bit and tell
us a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_02 (01:35):
My name's David Weaver.
I am married.
Most of you guys might know mywife, Monica, around this campus
quite often, six, seven days aweek.
Two children.
We've been together 25 years.
We've known each other 25 yearsthis month and been married 21.
And yeah, it's been a greatjourney.

UNKNOWN (01:58):
I mean,

SPEAKER_02 (01:59):
Creeping up on 10 years that we've been hanging
out here.

SPEAKER_03 (02:02):
Wow.
And how old are your kids?

SPEAKER_02 (02:05):
Michael is 16.
And Hannah will be 21 May 1st.

SPEAKER_03 (02:10):
Nice.
Amazing.
And how long have you guys beenat Dream City?

SPEAKER_02 (02:15):
We're creeping up on...
Nine, 10 years.
Nine, 10 years.

SPEAKER_03 (02:19):
That's awesome.
And what ministries have yourfamily been involved in since
you guys have been here?

SPEAKER_02 (02:25):
All of them.

SPEAKER_03 (02:25):
All of them.

SPEAKER_02 (02:26):
All 887 of

SPEAKER_03 (02:28):
them.
We have quite a lot here.
I think Sam and I probably arethat way too.
Pick a ministry, yep, beenthere.

SPEAKER_02 (02:36):
We joke we live here.
So the children's ministry whenthey were younger, the youth,
the high school, now the youngadults.
Micah's part of the women'sministry.
I'm part of the men's ministry.
We're both part of the marriageministry.
If you come here any particularday and you get a coffee, those

(02:59):
are probably my kids in thecafe.

SPEAKER_03 (03:00):
Yes.
That's awesome.
So very integrated.
But we were talking before, andthat always hasn't been your
life, right?
Your day-to-day.
No.
Right.
And which I...
think is something so powerful,your testimony, and so I'm
really excited to get into that.

(03:21):
Can you tell us what kind ofprompted you to, I guess, walk
into the Dream City doors?
Or what led you to

SPEAKER_02 (03:29):
come to that?
Yes.
So where should we start,really?

SPEAKER_03 (03:40):
Wherever you want.

SPEAKER_02 (03:42):
You know, probably...
the sadness and the hatred in myheart, and I needed something
different.
You know, in 2010, Monica and myfamily went through a pretty
devastating business failure.
You know, at the time, I didn'trealize that God was putting me

(04:10):
through a seven-year tribulationbecause that's how long we
fought it.
And it wasn't a criminal oranything.
It was...
I got wrapped up into a businessdeal, and I knew or I should
have known what the other peoplewere doing.
So after that long battle, I'msitting in the courtroom, and
behind the court, behind thejudge, there's the Arizona

(04:32):
placard.
And my dad had just passed away,and I had a stone and a prayer
card in my hand.
And to that point, never been tochurch, wasn't raised in church.
You know, parents...
Monica didn't come from a greatbackground either.
Her mom's fantastic.

(04:53):
You know, some issues there withfatherlessness.
And I was a fatherless home andshe was a fatherlessness home.
So we really never had a greatexample of what a father looked
like.
Or

SPEAKER_03 (05:12):
what a marriage looked

SPEAKER_02 (05:13):
like.
Or what a marriage looked like.
My mom was married...
Three times, two different men.
One disappeared, the other onewas an alcoholic, an abuser.
So when we grew up, thatstepfather image was not any
better than the vision of what Ihad of my dad being gone.

(05:36):
So anyways, long story.
I had made amends with my dad.
The crazy thing is my mom anddad remarried 20 years old from
first grade to like 19 yearsold.
I saw my dad, my real dad, maybethree times.
And then I moved to Arizona fromCalifornia and just some little

(06:00):
fortuitous meetings.
I kind of, you know, ran into mydad and he, that whole thing
regenerated.
And it was really good to dothat because it gave me the
peace to realize it wasn'treally my dad.
100% just leaving.
There was more to that story.
And he was really a good guy anddid the right thing afterwards.

(06:23):
But anyways, I'm sitting in thecourtroom and behind the judge,
you've got the Arizona placardthat's in God we trust or in God
riches.
And I just, it was probably thefirst time I remember praying.
I didn't even know I was prayingat the time.

SPEAKER_03 (06:37):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (06:38):
I was like, dad, buddy, if it's real up there.

SPEAKER_03 (06:42):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (06:42):
I mean, like I need you right now.
And I walked out of there, andthere was no winner in this
case.
I didn't win, they didn't win,but we didn't lose either.
Nobody won, nobody lost.
It was just finally over.
The door was shut on that.
And every time I'd hike afterthat, I would hike, because we

(07:05):
had a house across the streetfrom the church, and I would
hike Lookout Mountain.
And every time I'd hike, I'dhave this overwhelming, what I
know now to be the Holy Spirit,And it wasn't a voice.
It wasn't a visual.
It was just this, you said thatif I got you out of there, you
would seek my face.
So, you know, Monica and at thetime, obviously, you know, at

(07:29):
the time we were creeping up on15 years at this time, you know,
yeah, close together.
And so I said, Monica, we got totry something different.
You're not happy.
I'm not happy.
I mean...
My mom's been divorced.
Your mom probably should havebeen divorced.
My, both my brothers have beendivorced.

(07:50):
I'm like, I don't know thatthat's where we have to go, but
we didn't know anything else.
So we show up to a couple ofdifferent churches.
We both said not the compoundacross the street, which happens
to be this place.
It's so busy all the time.
And it was like, really?

(08:11):
So we went to a couple ofchurches around here and then
you see, um, you know, a guywith a guitar and then he would
read some scripture and thenkids are looking for pages in
the coloring book and thatwasn't working.
And so anyways, we show up, wedecide, let's try Dream City.

SPEAKER_03 (08:28):
At

SPEAKER_02 (08:28):
the time, it was kind of the Dream City, first
assembly flip into Dream City.
You know, Luke hadn't been longafter taking over.
Adam had just started.
Pastor Franklin was kind ofcoming back around.
But anyway, so I show up and wewalk in.
And you see this worship team.

(08:48):
And you see this guy, you know,like as manly as they get with
his hands up, screaming from themountaintop, screaming Jesus
from the mountaintop.
And I'm like, I love that guy.
And my kids still tease mebecause I got a man crush on
Adam Rainey.
They're like, oh, you're goingto see Adam, right?
So anyway, so I'm like, allright.

(09:10):
So that seed was finallyplanted, right?
Well, I think the seed wasprobably planted planted when I
prayed.

SPEAKER_03 (09:16):
And

SPEAKER_02 (09:18):
then I kind of answered that call on the
mountain.
So anyway, so we came back.
And within a couple messages,Pastor Luke does a sermon on
dumb rubs.
If you hang with dumb people,you're going to do dumb things.
And he talked about how he hungwith the baseball team and he
went, jumped the fence atDisneyland, ended up in the

(09:41):
Anaheim Jail Center.
I remember that story.
Guess who grew up in Anaheim?
Guess who's about the same age?
Luke and I are about the sameage.
I'm like, this guy's saying thisfrom a stage.
He's telling them it's okaybecause I have this savior.
I'm like, who's the savior yougot, right?
So all right, so I want to knowmore about this guy.
And then on the screen duringthe video news, it was Pastor

(10:03):
Franking doing a men'sbreakfast.
And it was Robert Owens.
Seven marathons, sevencontinents in seven days.

SPEAKER_03 (10:13):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (10:14):
And I'm like, this isn't some teenager on a
10-speed knocking doors.
These are real dudes.

SPEAKER_03 (10:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (10:20):
Right?
These are real guys.
Yeah.
And the guys I'm with, like,hey, bud, let's go have a beer.
Yeah, let's go have a beer.
And the happy hour turns into anall-nighter, into an
all-weekender.
And that wasn't good.
And that was what we were tryingto get away from because that's
the only thing we knew.
So anyways, I show up to thismen's breakfast.
You got Robert Owens, Franklin.
Never seen these guys before inmy life.

(10:42):
And...
I'm like, this is a pararescueguy that's out there saving
souls.
Holy smokes, this guy'sfantastic, right?
And Michael was little at thetime.
He was only 6'2".

SPEAKER_03 (10:54):
He's huge now.

SPEAKER_02 (10:58):
So I made a decision that I was going to hit every
single one of...
That might be exaggerating.
I've hit 90% of...
The men's breakfast.
Yeah.
And then they were starting themen's Bible study Monday
morning.
I start hitting those things.

(11:18):
And I'm sitting there.
It had to be a couple of years.
I just sat there and stared atPastor Franklin going, all
right, I don't trust people, butthis guy's earning my trust.
He's teaching on integrity, thenet worth of character.

SPEAKER_03 (11:33):
So you just go for a few years is what

SPEAKER_02 (11:36):
you're saying?
So in this morning– Bible study,you got Franklin, you got your
dad, Robert, you got Gilbert,you got Tommy Robertson, and
you're walking, I'm lookingaround going, I'm really not
that manly anymore, am I?
These guys are like, you talkabout the bravado that the world

(11:58):
thinks of.
These guys have that bravado,but they got Jesus in their
heart.
And you're like, wow, that'samazing, right?
So, you know, then he's, Starttalking about, you know, the
world's only 6,000 years old.
And I'm like, dude, I've seenthe Grand Canyon.
It's not six.
And then he starts telling mewhy.
And the Great Flood and this.
And then how the Holy Spirit,you know, breathes into a

(12:21):
virgin.
I'm like, I know basic biology,man.
So when you're talking aboutfaith and you don't have any
kind of faith like that, you'venever seen that.
It was a long journey to pick upa Bible at 44 years old and be
like, okay.
And then to have this faith,what is faith?

(12:42):
I don't, you know, I've neverseen anybody healed.

SPEAKER_03 (12:45):
Yeah.
What

SPEAKER_02 (12:46):
is faith?
I've never seen, you know,anything mended.
I've never, but then you go 10years later and you're like in
2022, I was supposed to haveback surgery and you have people
at the church praying for me andanointing with oil.
And now I don't have backsurgery and I don't have pain in
my back and I can, I can wrestleand I can run.

(13:06):
And you're like, Oh my God, youdon't even know he healed you,
but you were faithful andobedient and kept coming.
He's like, boom, you're healed.
By the blood and the stripes ofJesus, bam, gone, right?
So you're like, these thingshave just happened.
The restoration in my marriage,I didn't see it day one.
I didn't show up and go, well, Ididn't feel that every day.

(13:26):
I just was obedient and keptshowing up and showing

SPEAKER_03 (13:29):
up.

SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
And the next thing you know, it's like, now my
marriage is restored.
Now I have this relationshipwith my kids.
Now I have this relationshipwith my wife.
Now I have mentors.
Like the first father figurethat ever really sat down and
said, this is the way you treata woman was the visual that
Pastor Franklin gave me the wayhe treats Lisa.

(13:50):
Yeah.
I mean, other than that, I, youknow.

SPEAKER_03 (13:54):
Never seen it.
Never saw it.
Never saw it.
Right?

SPEAKER_02 (13:58):
So anyways, through this whole thing, now I'm like
really excited.
close with Pastor Franklin andPastor Lisa.
In fact, Monica and I have beenmarried three times, never
divorced.
But the first one, we did itbecause, I don't know, it was
the thing to do.
We

SPEAKER_01 (14:14):
were young.
The second

SPEAKER_02 (14:15):
time was our tenure, and we decided, listen, let's
give this a real shot.
A year ago, we renewed our vows.
under God with Pastor Franklinand Lisa.
And that was our third marriage.
But we went through every firetogether and never filed papers
on each other.
It wasn't that we always lovedeach other.

(14:37):
We always loved each other, butit's not that we didn't always
like each other.
So through this, we've builtthis marriage ministry with
Franklin and Lisa.
I mean, I don't want to take anycredit for it because it's his
vision that he gave to Franklinand Lisa.
We just help out.
The men's group, and we havethis Forge thing now.

(14:57):
So if you walk around the churchand you start seeing these men
wearing these Forge hats and theForge sweatshirts and the Forge
t-shirts, and they're startingto infiltrate this church,
right?
Because we have manly men, likesome of the men that I've talked
to

SPEAKER_03 (15:13):
about

SPEAKER_02 (15:15):
stepping up going, hey, listen, We're not gonna
just show up on Sunday.
We're not just gonna show up onSunday.
We're gonna show up on Wednesdayand we're gonna show up on
Thursday nights and we're gonnashow up to the wellness, right?
And we're gonna, you know what?
We're gonna take some classesthat are uncomfortable that Dr.
Cole can get commissioned asmen.
And we're gonna carry that bigsword and hopefully we don't
have to unsheathe it, right?

SPEAKER_03 (15:35):
And

SPEAKER_02 (15:37):
these things just kind of just naturally
organically took place throughjust showing up,

SPEAKER_03 (15:46):
you know?
And I think it's great.
I kind of want to touch on howyou were realizing that your
version of what you thought amanly man was wasn't like, I
guess...
It changed.
It changed how you view a realman changed, right?
Like what the world sees versuslike how God sees a man.

(16:06):
Yeah.
Well, and I think too with that,I just want to add a little
thing to that too.
It's like you get thisperception that...
you know, being a Christian, Imean, the world, I think, has a
perception that Christianitymakes you weak, right?
It makes you weak.
And then there's like the toxicmasculinity that the world talks
about.
And neither one of those iscorrect, right?

(16:30):
They're not...
Right.
And so it's taking that andputting it in the right
perspective of what does it meanto be a manly, godly man.

SPEAKER_02 (16:41):
Right.
Well...
I mean, the first thing is theworld thinks the bravado of
this, how big of a beard you canhave, right?
How fast can you chug a beer,right?
Can you beat another man justbecause he lipped off to you?
Well, that's a manly trait, Iguess.

(17:03):
I mean, I'm totally intotraining and that kind of stuff,
but the truth is, can you get onyour knees and repent?
Because we have those sins,whether they're sinful thoughts
or the sinful actions.
Can we get on our knees andrepent and apologize to the
person

SPEAKER_03 (17:19):
that

SPEAKER_02 (17:21):
we offended?
And then can we not, can weforgive?
Can we not hold an offense forsomething that somebody else has
done and accept that apologywhen somebody apologizes to us?
And I think, you know, Today'smen have lost a lot of courage.

(17:42):
They don't stand up when theyneed to and they back down from
worldly things or things thatsociety tells you are the cool
things.

SPEAKER_03 (17:54):
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (17:55):
Yeah, there's a lot there.
That's a deep subject.

SPEAKER_03 (17:58):
And I was going to say, how have you seen that
impact of men falling silent inour culture today?
Yeah.
impact the world.

SPEAKER_02 (18:08):
Yeah.
I mean, look at the, thewokeness that goes on.
I mean, to the teachings, to thehanging of the flags in the
classroom as a father, youshould be in there and be like,
it didn't take a governmentaction to say, Hey, listen, men
are an executive order to tellmen you can't compete with

(18:29):
women.

SPEAKER_03 (18:29):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (18:30):
Some father should have walked in there and punched
that guy right

SPEAKER_03 (18:34):
in

SPEAKER_02 (18:34):
the face.
Right.
Proverbs 18.6 says, loops, lipscreate strife and your mouth
invites a beating.
I would just say Jesus told meto do it.

SPEAKER_01 (18:45):
That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 (18:46):
And I think now they're starting to realize,

SPEAKER_03 (18:48):
oh,

SPEAKER_02 (18:49):
it is okay for me to speak up.
And men are starting to speakup.

SPEAKER_03 (18:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (18:53):
Okay.
And yeah, I don't know, man.
I didn't have to deal with that.
You know, Hannah swam allthrough her younger ages and
through high school.
I think she was kind of thebeginning of that, and then

(19:17):
Michael's kind of the middle ofthat, and I think now you have
that group that's circling back,

SPEAKER_03 (19:22):
right?

SPEAKER_02 (19:23):
Right.
It was definitely too long, butit was a short term of

SPEAKER_03 (19:28):
these

SPEAKER_02 (19:29):
men not stepping up.
Because, yeah, if you had, like,Riley Gaines, I mean, she's just
a superstar.
Oh, she's awesome.
And she deserves every bit ofthe things that she's had to go
through to bring that tosurface.

SPEAKER_03 (19:44):
Mm-hmm, yeah.
But it's true, yeah.
Yeah, and there, I mean, you cansee, too, and it's interesting
because things swing in apendulum, right?
You've got too much, you know,one direction and then too far.
But, I mean, even in just theway that, I mean...
some of the things that like theoriginal feminists were trying

(20:04):
to fight for, you know, fairtreatment for women and things
like that, that those were someof the, there were valid
concerns that they had about theway women were being treated,
the way single mothers werebeing treated or title nine,
right.
Title nine, all those things.
And then it swings so far towhere it's like, okay, you know,
we've got to feminize all themen and women are in control and
boss girl or girl boss and allof the toxic masculinity and all

(20:28):
of that stuff.
And so then you don't want it toswing way forward.
far again on the other sidewhere it's you know going back
to we need to be at that okayeverybody in their right place
and being that's where thechurch comes in right that is
exactly right that's where we'resupposed to say hey so we can
say okay men and women aredifferent right we each have
roles that we're supposed tofulfill we don't need to compete

(20:48):
with each other or not like eachother for

SPEAKER_02 (20:50):
the things you can do I can't do

SPEAKER_03 (20:52):
right right

SPEAKER_02 (20:52):
like bear a child right I don't care what anybody
says

SPEAKER_03 (20:55):
yes

SPEAKER_02 (20:55):
I can't bear a child right there's these chromosomes
and x y

SPEAKER_03 (20:59):
x google says something else.
Chat GPT.
We were talking about thatearlier.
Chat GPT probably will tell youthat men can have a baby.

SPEAKER_02 (21:09):
But I know in chapter one, in chapter one, it
tells me the truth.

SPEAKER_03 (21:15):
Yes, exactly.
And I think this is what yousaid is a very valid point, Sam,
is that this is where the churchis important for the church to
step up, right?
So because the world, if left toits own devices, goes crazy and
swings back and forth and andit's just not sanctified.
So it's important for us to showthose examples.

(21:35):
And you were talking abouthaving not seen a godly marriage
or fatherhood and that kind ofthing until you were here.
And I think that's a reallyimportant point because right
now there's so much, I don'tknow the exact number, but
fatherlessness and unmarriedchildbirth and childbirth

(21:56):
cohabitation and all of thosedifferent things are huge.
And it does affect kids andtheir ability to, because again,
you were saying you grew up inkind of a tumultuous environment
and you didn't know what thatlooked like.
So how many other kids aregrowing up and the numbers are
higher now than they used to beof kids that are growing up in

(22:18):
homes like that where they'venever been to church, they've
never seen a real marriage, theydon't know what a father is
supposed to look like.
It's either a bad example or noone at all.
And so this is really a placewhere the church can and should
step in and define what thosethings are and model it and
train.

SPEAKER_02 (22:37):
Yeah, and I think the church has a worldly
connection to the people thathaven't been or have been to the
wrong church, a bad stigma,right?
But when you get in there andactually get involved with a

(22:57):
church that speaks the truth totheir men, and those men are
out, and you start gettinginvolved with those guys, you'll
start seeing that there aregreat examples everywhere.
Yeah.
We can go through a list ofgreat marriages.
It hasn't always been perfect,but they're great marriages.

SPEAKER_03 (23:18):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (23:18):
You know, some of these guys, they're just so soft
now.
Things go sideways, and they'relike, oh, that's it, file a
photo of ours.
Like, really?

SPEAKER_03 (23:26):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (23:28):
She was late from work.
Is that jealous?

SPEAKER_03 (23:31):
I mean, like, throw a little trust out there.
Are you going to fight a littlebit harder?

UNKNOWN (23:36):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (23:36):
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I think it's funnythat you brought that up because
there was another topic I reallywanted to talk about on, not
necessarily this episode, butjust in general, was the lack of
resilience that people have somuch now.
It's insane.
Just thinking about that today.
Because this has come up abunch, right?
We're talking about, you know,whether it's young people with a
job or anything goes wrong,right?
Whether it's people with theirmarriages, they just give up,

(23:58):
right?
Something doesn't happen.
It's just like, oh, let's justquit.
Let's just not.
I can't deal with that.
And I'm really...
Like, I've thought a lot aboutthis and I don't know what the
answer is, but like, where didthat happen?
Because you look back at like,okay, we were talking about the
depression earlier, the GreatDepression, not clinical
depression, but the depression.

(24:19):
Yeah, the Great Depression,1938.
Yes, 1930.
But the Great Depression orWorld War II or whatever, I
mean, it was difficult times andpeople, I mean, literally
they're, you know, making theirown shoes and going across the
country and, you know, things,everything hung inside of their
car and there was a resiliencethat was there, that we've had
in America from the founding ofAmerica.

(24:40):
I mean, we couldn't have hadthis country without
resilient...
people, bold men, and women whoare willing to follow those men
and do that.
We couldn't have had that, butlike somewhere along the line,
and I'm not sure exactly whereit happened, all of a sudden
we've got like a bunch of wimpy,you know.
Pansies.
Pansies.
I was giving you the opportunityto throw that.

(25:03):
So the

SPEAKER_02 (25:03):
pansies, right?
So they're, you know, it's notmy phrase, and I don't know
whose it is, but it says toughtimes create tough men.
Yeah.
Tough men create men.
Easy Times, Easy Times, CreateWeak Men.

SPEAKER_03 (25:17):
Oh,

SPEAKER_02 (25:17):
wow.
Right?
Yeah.
It's good.
And then it's going to cycleback.

SPEAKER_03 (25:20):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (25:21):
So somewhere from these, our
great-great-grandfathers to ourgrandfathers to our fathers,
right?
The GI generation raised theboomers.

SPEAKER_03 (25:33):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (25:33):
The boomers were the first ones to start mom and dad
working.
And then now we've got...
So we had the last key, theselatchkey kids, they're like, we
never had anybody home.
You're like, you're hungry?
Drink from the hose.
Drink from your hose.
The cockroach generation, thatsounds, we can't be dead.
Can't unalive us as the Biblesays.

(25:54):
Throw

SPEAKER_03 (25:55):
them in the backseat, the back window

SPEAKER_02 (25:56):
of the car.
Yeah, we'd slide back and forth.
Then all of a sudden it waslike, oh, they invented, not
that they invented seatbelts,but they made seatbelt laws.
Like, oh, that's probably apretty good idea.
We used to

SPEAKER_03 (26:05):
lay in the backseat, the back window of the car and
drive on, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (26:08):
Yeah.
And then-

SPEAKER_03 (26:10):
from rusty metal swing sets.
Yeah, and then you have the

SPEAKER_02 (26:15):
boomers, which to us, and now you have these kids,
kids that are having kids thatare like helicopters.
Like, hold on, move everything.
They're going to get hurt.
And I'm like, my dad was like,stick that screwdriver in the
socket.
Watch what happens.
You won't do it twice.
You're not going to do it twice.
It's

SPEAKER_03 (26:32):
going to touch the fire.
You'll find out.
It's hot.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, live and learn.
I think that analogy is goodabout this.
And again, it's that pendulum,right?
We were talking about it aminute ago, where the pendulum
swings.

SPEAKER_02 (26:43):
So hopefully we're back up on the way.
I think it's crested and it'scoming.
I'm hoping it's swinging

SPEAKER_03 (26:51):
back.
Yeah, hopefully.
Because it really is.
It's amazing how...
I mean, it's not necessarilytheir fault that they've just
never been taught it.
They haven't learned how tobe...
They haven't had the opportunityto learn to be resilient.
And I don't know where that...
Like I said, somewhere in therethat that happened.
And I think a lot of it isthat...
The video games.
We rode bikes and they playedvideo games.
Well, that's what I was going tosay.

(27:11):
I think sometimes we overlookthe impact of technology and how
now we live in the instant ageand now I can know every Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (27:49):
The softness comes from that.
Let them go play baseball.
Let them go rub dirt on it.
If they trip and fall, you don'tneed to go to the ER.
I promise.
It's just going to scab up andbe fine.
Rub dirt on it.
Let's go.

SPEAKER_03 (28:08):
Which again, I think is important where fathers come
in and they do that more so thanmothers do, right?
So if there's an absence offathers, then you don't have
that, oh, you're fine, go rubsome dirt on it.
Like the phrase of that.
But I think that is a lot ofwhat men bring into the equation
of that.
That may be part of it too.
That's true.

UNKNOWN (28:27):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (28:27):
It's all connected.

SPEAKER_03 (28:29):
It is amazing how that works.
Right.
One of my last questions is, howhave you experienced God at work
in your life as a result of yousaying yes to what he's called
you to do or showing things?

SPEAKER_02 (28:48):
So I'm self-employed.
So the best part of that is thetime freedom.
And that time freedom allows meto continue to tell him yes to
the things he calls us to,whether it be ministry.
And I'm certainly not, I don'twant to say minister.
I'm a minister, but I'm like,you got the pastor, Luke and
Tommy and those kind of, youknow, the order of pastoral.

(29:11):
And then you got the bottomfeeders down here.
We just come drag other men andgo camping.
So, you know, April 2010, welost everything.
We had very large civilforfeiture, seizures,

(29:33):
everything, and we had to fightthat.
Saying yes to him, not only didit restore my marriage, my
family, my heart from thebitterness and the hatred, but
he's restored to finances aswell.
Life's pretty good.

(29:54):
I'm not where I was, but I don'twant to be where I was.

SPEAKER_03 (29:56):
So

SPEAKER_02 (29:57):
he's trusted me and given me back some of what it
is.
And although finances is part ofit, but he's given me a lot of
time for you to come and sharetestimonies or to

SPEAKER_03 (30:11):
hang

SPEAKER_02 (30:12):
out with my kids, be around.
When I see kids, like you'vebeen to my, you know my kids.
I got my two kids, but then allyou guys are my kids.
Everybody's at our house all thetime.

SPEAKER_03 (30:21):
Yes, and allowed you to be a blessing to other people
too, right?
Like even me, I think of when Igot to use your house

SPEAKER_02 (30:29):
for a

SPEAKER_03 (30:29):
party.
I threw a baby shower or abridal shower.
But yeah, blessings onblessings.

SPEAKER_02 (30:34):
To be open enough or comfortable enough for the other
young adults to be, hey, listen,I don't even know why I wasn't
invited.
Yeah.
It was a bridal shower

SPEAKER_01 (30:44):
or a baby shower?
It was all women.
A bridal

SPEAKER_02 (30:45):
shower or a baby shower?

SPEAKER_03 (30:46):
Bridal shower.
Bridal shower.

SPEAKER_02 (30:48):
So she says, Monica, I have a bridal shower for one
of my friends.
We'd love to use your house.
And Monica and I are nevertelling God no again.
It's 100%.
It's yours.
We just get to steward it.
So whatever it is that...

SPEAKER_03 (31:04):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (31:04):
You know, and whether it be you or Olivia or
Alyssa or...

SPEAKER_03 (31:08):
To all our listeners, you know...

SPEAKER_02 (31:11):
Listen, I mean...
You have open reign of theWeavers.
It's funny because we've alwayshad the gatherings.

SPEAKER_03 (31:18):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (31:18):
The difference is we still have a...
bunch of gatherings, they'rejust not ragers that last all
night.

SPEAKER_03 (31:23):
Right?
It's so much more fulfilling.
I'm with you because I was thesame way, right?
So I was like,

SPEAKER_02 (31:30):
I've been to your house.
It's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 (31:32):
My house is crazy.
No, but I'm saying, I mean, youcame to know the Lord later in
life than I did, but our journeywas kind of similar in that I
was not raised in church, youknow, was leading kind of a wild
lifestyle and did the samething.
Ask God to prove himself to me.
And I'm telling you, you do thatand you're willing to follow
that, he will prove himself toyou and he will show you.

(31:55):
And again, just led, you know,it's those little obediences of
saying yes and being willing tosay yes to the things and to
whatever God asks you to do andsee where he takes you.
And it's an amazing journey.

SPEAKER_02 (32:07):
Yeah.
And I'll tell you one morething, like not being saved and
being saved, worldly view versusnon-worldly view.
Like my worldly view is, ofsomething that I know is near
and dear to your heart is theabortion.
Like to me, until I was educatedabout what it really was, to me,
I was like, ah, it's a woman'sright thing.
So now to knowing that withinvery short time, seed, egg,

(32:35):
light goes off, the light ofGod's going off into where, how,
I mean, that thing was 10 weeksold and it would, you had,

SPEAKER_03 (32:42):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (32:43):
A model in my hand.
And I was like, it brings tearsto my eyes now.
And it was because I didn'tknow.

SPEAKER_03 (32:49):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (32:50):
And now I'm looking.
Thank God I've never had to makethat decision.
Right.
I mean, for the ones that have,I mean, that's got to be it.
That's so good that what you dowith the restoration and let
them know.

SPEAKER_03 (33:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (33:06):
But that was just a worldly thing.
I didn't know any differentbecause— I heard what the rest
of the world.
Like, oh, it's women's right,reproductive rights.
Reproductive.
Don't be saying you can'treproduct.

SPEAKER_03 (33:16):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (33:16):
It's like, come on, let's call it what it

SPEAKER_03 (33:18):
is.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (33:19):
And Hannah at one time, she says, if you get in a
car accident drinking anddriving and the woman is
pregnant, it's a doublehomicide.

SPEAKER_03 (33:34):
How is that not murder?

SPEAKER_02 (33:37):
Right.
Yeah.
Yep.
That's true.

SPEAKER_03 (33:38):
Some

SPEAKER_02 (33:38):
serious thought right there.

SPEAKER_03 (33:40):
Yeah.
She's a smart cookie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
But that just shows you that thechurch has to be louder than the
culture.
Yes.
Right?
And that's when it's soimportant.
Yeah.
for speaking up and standing upand doing what's right.
Yeah, that's so good.
That's really good.
Because they call the devil thefather of lies, right?

(34:01):
And then again, if the culture,if that voice is louder than
what's coming out of the church,the big C church, just the body
of Christ in whatever arenawe're in, then that's where we
get all of the things that arehappening and people not knowing
the difference between right andwrong.

SPEAKER_02 (34:17):
Or men

SPEAKER_03 (34:19):
and women and pick a topic.
It

SPEAKER_02 (34:21):
took the big C, Dream City Church, and our
pastor's stance on that

SPEAKER_03 (34:27):
for

SPEAKER_02 (34:28):
us to understand.
Because other than that, wejust, you know, Planned
Parenthood, it seems like apretty good organization.
And you're like, whoa.

SPEAKER_03 (34:35):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (34:35):
Well, was I wrong?

SPEAKER_03 (34:36):
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.

UNKNOWN (34:41):
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (34:41):
Yeah, we just had someone tell us that last night
too.
We did an event, but someonesaid she was raised in Chicago
and it's all she ever knew.
And it wasn't until she camehere to this church that she
realized that she and herhusband, and they're in their
20s, but that they should beapplying their faith to church.
their political views and totheir stand on things and just
being informed.

(35:01):
And I think so many people,because the church has largely
been silent, that that is whereyou have all of that confusion
and people being led by theculture instead of being led by
the word of God.

UNKNOWN (35:14):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (35:15):
And, you know, I think this, even the political
climate right now, although Idon't think every, anybody
really agrees with everythingour president said, says, but I
think we agree with his heart.
He's not a politician.
He's not a polished speaker.
So he doesn't have that goldentongue like some previous
administrators that are like,oh, administrations, and they

(35:36):
can say it and make it soundperfect.
He's just rough around the edgesspeaking, but nobody can deny
his heart and the courage thathe has to stand up.
And that's for the Americanpeople because it's not...
Right.
Benefiting him.
Right.
I bet he's 75, somebody.
I mean, he could sit inMar-a-Lago and just sit there

(35:58):
and watch the show.
Right.
And he's decided to actually put

SPEAKER_03 (36:01):
his

SPEAKER_02 (36:02):
money where his mouth is.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (36:04):
To stand up and be a man because that's what standing
up, he knows that it's importantfor us to stand up for what's
right, right?
Because he saw that.
Well, and it's interesting thatyou say that because then there
are a whole lot of, there's beena new wave of like conservative
young men.
And I think that it takessomeone standing up.
And again, it takes a manstanding up showing you what it

(36:24):
means to treat your wife theright way or a man standing up
showing what fatherhood shouldlook like.

SPEAKER_02 (36:30):
A man standing up?
Like Charlie Kirk and going tothe campuses.
That's courage.
You know he's really good at itnow.
But that first time, I'm like,he's probably sitting around
going, what am I doing?
But I can do this.
And that's when you had to leanon God for your words because
now he's got it.
And most of these kids go saystuff to him knowing they're

(36:51):
going to get it.

SPEAKER_03 (36:51):
Tongue-lashed.
Yeah.
It's funny to watch.
It is.
Yeah.
Do you have any other questions?
That was my last one.
So thank you so much for joiningus.
This was amazing.
See, it wasn't nearly as crazyas you thought it was going to

SPEAKER_02 (37:06):
be.
If we did touch any men here andyou're looking for men to hang
out with, we have the ForgeGroup here at the church.

SPEAKER_03 (37:12):
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (37:13):
Come see us.
We have a monthly breakfast.
And we have a...
monthly ForgeX where we'll havesome kind of competition, bench
pressing or the manly man stuff.
And the messages are alwaysgreat.
We'll have some worship.
Find somebody that has one ofthese hats on and you can ask,
find where we are or find one ofthe leaders, which is Robert,

(37:34):
Franklin, myself, Gilbert.
We're all here, so.

SPEAKER_03 (37:39):
Yeah.
That's great.
And if you were listening to andyou want to know more about
having a relationship with theLord as well, reach out to us on
social media, come to the churchwebsite, come visit us at Dream
City Church.
So thank you so much for joiningus.
We appreciate it.
Thank you for listening to Intothe Fire, powered by Dream City
Church.

SPEAKER_00 (37:58):
You can listen to this podcast on Apple and
Spotify and follow us on socialmedia.
Find all the info on the shownotes.
To learn more about Dream CityChurch, visit our website at
dreamcitychurch.us Thanks forlistening.
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