September 3, 2024 • 39 mins
In this episode, I’ve included highlights from five episodes from the second year of Introducing Me. These episodes were recorded between October 2021 and July 2022 and thoughts or opinions may have changed since the time of recording. Check out their entire episodes in the archives.
Michael: An Intellectual Disability and a Dream; https://a.co/d/htOHKiM
Vera: Immersed in the Deaf Community; https://www.tiktok.com/@veepats
Jessica: Team USA Paralympic Discus Thrower; https://www.tiktok.com/@jessie_heims
Marsha: From Firefighter to Fire Marshal; https://iabpf.org
Edward: Being Trans in Music and Literature; https://www.edward-underhill.com
Donate to the podcast: https://ko-fi.com/introducingmepodcast
Want to share your story and be a guest? Email: introducingmepodcast@gmail.com
Find all the podcast social media and more on the website: https://www.introducingmepodcast.com
Artwork: instagram.com/vashaundesigns
Music/Editing: youtube.com/colemanrowlett
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:16):
- Hello and welcome to Introducing Me.
I'm your host Sarah. Istarted this podcast to get
to know other people and lifestyles while
discovering more about myself.
Each episode I give a new guest a chance
to discuss their background,culture, interests,
or whatever they want to talkabout to help increase all
of our own worldviews.
Following up from last episode,
we're taking a look backat some previous episodes.
(00:36):
You'll hear clips that wererecorded in my second year
of podcasting, specificallybetween October 19th, 2021
and July 11th, 2022.
In the next episode,
we'll be looking back atepisodes from year three.
As I close out my fourth yearof podcasting, it's important
to realize that these episodesweren't recorded within the
last few weeks, like my regular episodes.
(00:58):
Things these guests stated atthe time may not be a fully
accurate representationof how they are today,
but I wanted to pull different stories
and life experiences for today's episode.
There are clips of varyinglengths from five different
episodes, and I hope
that if you haven't heard these episodes,
you give the archives a chanceto hear their entire stories,
or if you have heard thembefore, give them another listen
(01:19):
and you might find joy in recalling back
to when you firstlistened to that episode.
This first clip is from myconversation with Michael Long.
He's an advocate, inspirational speaker,
and the author ofA Life Like Anybody Else:
How a Man with an IntellectualDisability Fulfilled
His American Dream.
And what do you think thebest things to tell children
(01:44):
are in terms of accepting people
with intellectual disabilities
and making sure that yes, you know,
they are a part of society?
- Well, I think that, um,
the most important message that I try
(02:07):
to be able to get outthere for, uh, the children
is being able to know
that they're just like them, them,
and, um, and, um,
it is, uh, important, um,
(02:31):
to be able to be a part of
inclusion opportunities
because it is a most
powerful thing that when, uh, individual
with a intellectual disability to
(02:53):
be able to have their dreams come true.
And I think one of the messages that I got
across is that couple of things.
One is when you grow up
and get married, you could have a child
(03:14):
with a intellectual disability.
And so it's important to be able
to make sure that
when theyre children
and they interact with peoplewith developmental disability,
(03:35):
that prepares them as being parents
in a situation in the newfuture of if they have,
um, inter intellectual disabilities.
One of the things that I
did in my speeches,especially at junior high,
(03:59):
because that's where youreally start associating
with other people and making friends and,
and, um, and,
and being able to interact with
your friends and everything.
And so, um, I think there's a barrier
(04:24):
in the situation, uh, especially with PE
in the situation.
Um, and that is whereyou have two captains
in the situation
and they pick the people, um, um,
pick the people in the situation of, of
(04:48):
who they want on their team ifthey were playing basketball
or football or baseball
or whatever the case might be.
And so it was really, um, important
that, um, where I said that
(05:10):
you need to be able to not have captains
and choose people
because people with intellectualdisabilities that are
included always get chose last
in the situation.
And so how you prevent that, um,
(05:33):
from happening is youjust go down 1, 2, 1, 2,
all the ones in the situation,your one team, all the twos
and another team, and you, uh,
have an inclusive opportunityto make a difference
in people's lives andbeing able to play sports.
(05:57):
And I'm a big sports fan,as you probably could tell.
I'm a big San Francisco Giants
107 wins this year out of, uh,
162 games.
And they cremated the Dodgers,
the rivalry last night in the first game
(06:22):
that they ever played witheach other in the playoffs.
And so I was so her static that, um,
we won four to nothing last night.
And, and so, uh,
it's really important to be able to,
(06:45):
um, have inclusive opportunities
at that age.
- Yeah, and I think that exampleyou gave just in PE class
is so useful and, and easy to do
and would affect a lot of people, um,
(07:07):
who aren't getting pickedfirst when it comes
to, to team sports.
Now, in your book it does mention
that I believe your parentswere originally told you may
never speak, which isobviously not what happened.
Um. - Right. - So would
- That's true.
(07:28):
- Would you be willing totalk a little bit about, um,
your disability and what sortof things you do struggle with
because you, you do speakand that has been happening ?
- Yeah. Well, one of the things is, is uh,
I think the doctor didn'tknow what he was talking about
(07:50):
and what kind of commitmentthat my parents, um,
had, um, uh, being able to make sure
that, um, um, that I, um,
my parents, um, made sure that I, uh,
(08:12):
have the opportunity to speak.
I remembered that I hated it.
Um, there was a time that where, um,
I went to, uh, a little town called
Chico, California,
and it was rated back in 19, uh,
(08:35):
89, the number oneparty school in America,
and that is Chico State.
And so, um, one of the things that
happened is, uh, Ididn't like the situation
and so my parents decided not
(08:56):
to be able to spend themoney, uh, of sending me
to a speech therapist when I was little
in a situation.
And, um, and so, um, one
of the things that happened is, um,
(09:17):
it created a lot of barriers between me
and my classmates without
intellectual disabilities.
And that is where I left,there was a speech therapist
in the situation, uh, uh, at the school.
And so I left the room in the situation
(09:42):
and that created barriers
of why is Michael goingout of the classroom?
Um, and so, um, um,
I, uh, had a lot of speechtherapists, uh, speech therapy,
and then from first grade on, uh, to,
(10:04):
I think it was about sixth grade
or seventh grade that whereI went to my first, um,
grade teacher, Mrs.
Beckman. And, um, she, uh, um,
I went to, um, uh, herhouse during the summer
(10:27):
to be able to, for about two hours to
be able to make sure that I kept up
during the summer years
and being able to learnhow to read and talk and,
and, and all of that kind of stuff.
So as you can see, Ihad very strong parents
(10:52):
in the situation ofwanting me to be able to
learn how to talk and learnhow to be able to walk
and, um, and um, um,
and so I, um, um,
(11:15):
I I always loved Mrs.
Beckman. Um,
and so it was something that, um,
I always enjoyed duringthe summer years, um,
um, or summertime during the years
(11:36):
of, of summer.
Um, so yeah, that's, that's
how that happened.
- Next up is a quickclip from Vera's episode.
She is an ASL Englishinterpreter from Ontario, Canada,
(11:56):
and also a CODA, which isan acronym that means child
of deaf adult. ASL is her first language
and she has spent her wholelife working and volunteering
and just being a partof the deaf community.
What is the day-to-day responsibility
of being an interpreter?
- It depends on the day
(12:17):
because I am, I have twointerpreting hats that I wear.
I have a contract where I'man interpreter for individuals
that are newcomers to Canada at a program
where they're learning written English
and ASL with the goal ofbecoming Canadian citizens.
So they can book me forwhatever they need me for
during the 15 hours a week thatI'm contracted to be there.
(12:39):
And by be there nowadaysit's mostly virtual but .
But, uh, I'm available tothem for whatever they need,
whether it's a dentistappointment, doctor's appointment,
job interview, citizenshiptest, everything.
Um, and then I also work
as a freelance sign language interpreter.
And so that is where peoplecan contact me directly
for whatever their interpreting needs are.
(13:01):
And I go to different assignments daily.
So I have two funerals this week.
I had a wedding earlier this month,
lots of doctor's appointments.
Um, I did fan expo, um,Toronto earlier this month.
So anywhere that you or Iwould go, deaf people also go,
but they need access andthat's where I come in.
(13:24):
- And is it difficult specifically
with like doctor's appointmentsand like medical jargon
and to kind of expand that knowledge
because I feel like I forgetterms in like spoken language
to then also be like you weren't learning,
I would guess those thingswhen you were first learning
ASL as your first language.
(13:46):
- No, and it's also a bigreason that I'm an advocate
of why CODAs shouldn'tbe used as interpreters,
especially when they're children,
because we don't have the terminology,
the world worldliness.
We don't have thevocabulary, we don't have
the confidentiality agreement.
We're not non partial as CODAs.
(14:08):
And so they shouldn'tbe used as interpreters.
You, you should use qualifiedinterpreters as much
as possible because of confidentiality,
because we study in order tobe able to interrupt the doctor
and say, I'm sorry for the interpreter,
I don't quite understand what that is,
would you mind explaining it to me so
that I could better explainit to the deaf person?
(14:29):
Um, or ask for preparationmaterials ahead of time so
that we can read up on certain things
and become well informed.
Interpreters are are like, um, jack
of all trades, master of none.
Like we know a little bit about every
single thing that we have to do.
Um, and I'm thankful
and very privileged to be able to do that
because I do learn a lotpersonally that I can retain
(14:51):
for future appointmentsor um, even future benefit.
- As I'm preparing this episode
and on its release date,
the Paralympic Games arecurrently being held in Paris
where Jessica Heims is competing.
When Jessica was born, she was diagnosed
with amniotic band syndrome.
About a year after herbirth, her parents decided
that the best course of action was
(15:11):
to have her leg amputated right
around the ankle calf region.
She goes into more detail in the episode,
but this clip covers her experience
with the Paralympic Games.
Now, you mentioned that yougot into the Paralympics when I
believe you were in high school.
So how did that come about
and what was that storyto kind of be like,
(15:35):
this is something I'm not interested
in, I'm gonna go for it.
- Yeah, so my mom was on,
I believe she was on Facebookone day just scrolling
through things and shefound a page for, um,
this Adaptive Meet down in Oklahoma City.
And she read up on itin her that it was for
or learn about that it wasfor, um, adaptive athletes
(15:56):
of all ages, but it'sgeared towards, uh, youth
and, um, adaptive children.
And we had no idea thisworld was even a thing.
We, I never heard of it,
but we decided that is going
to be our summer vacation for the time.
So we made a plan and uh,we sat down as a family
and my parents said, we're gonna try this.
(16:17):
We have no idea if we'regonna hate it or not.
If we try it for one daydecide, this isn't our thing.
We'll find something elseto do in Oklahoma City,
but if we end up loving it,we'll enjoy the whole week.
And we got down there
and absolutely fell in lovewith the environment right away.
Uh, for me it was just,it was really impactful
to be in an environment
where the whole communityunderstands, um, I, 'cause
(16:40):
before I knew all my sportsexperience was with children
who didn't have any sortof physical disability.
And so I was just usedto knowing that, okay,
I'll probably be slower than them in this.
I probably won't be able to do this
or have to adapt it in a way
that no one else really understandswhy or how I'm doing it.
But once I got there, thatwasn't even a problem.
You know, everyone expected, you know,
(17:02):
you go into a building,okay, where's the elevator?
Where's the ramp? Because we have people
that want to do this and need this.
And so we just casually do that.
And you know, everyone hastheir prosthetics laying
around on the groundand it's not a problem.
We're comparing legs andeverything and stories.
And it was just a reallyunique, unique environment
that I had no idea even existed.
(17:23):
My family didn't either.And we love that community
of understanding and beingable to compete alongside
athletes that had so manydifferent disabilities ones I had
never even heard of that at the time.
That really grew my love for the sport.
And it, it impacted me so positively
that once we came back home, like, we have
(17:45):
to make this a regular thing.
I need to be more likevia these, meet more,
even if it's not to compete,just to be in that environment.
So yeah, that absolutely,I fell in love with it
and it was there that I wastold about the Paralympics
and how this isn't like, youdon't just have to do this
as a casual event.
You can also do this professionally
and you know, as an elite athlete.
(18:06):
- So then what was it like trying out
and being accepted to go to Rio?
- It was very crazy.
I went into it not reallyknowing if I would make it
and sort of expecting that I wouldn't.
Uh, at the time that I tried out, I was 16
or 17 years old, so I was very young
(18:27):
and I had only been, uh,competing against adult
and elite athletes for abouttwo years at that point.
So I thankfully knew someof the other athletes
that were there and theycould sort of coach me
through like, okay, this willbe sort of a scary experience,
but here's, you know,what you're gonna see
what you're gonna, you know, have to do.
(18:48):
And I remember trying out for the 400
and I tried for the 400 and the discus
and I went, went to end up with the 400.
I looked to my right
and there was the world recordholder of the 400 meters.
I'm like, oh my gosh,like she's really famous.
She paved the ways for all ofus. This is absolutely insane.
What am I doing here? Andthat was bizarre for me.
(19:11):
But in the same sense,I felt very comfortable
and it felt very natural forme to be in that environment.
I was like, I kind of feellike I don't belong only
because I'm young and Ihaven't done this before.
But it felt very right to be there.
And I mean, once I foundout that it made it, I just,
I bawled the entire time my family
(19:31):
and I were together when we found out
and we were just hugging and crying
and we had to pinch ourselves
and say, okay, is thisis actually happening
and this is actually a thing, you know,
this isn't just a dreamanymore, it's a reality.
And that was, that wasreally cool to experience.
- And then what was Rio like?
- It was insane.
(19:52):
So , um, just to give a briefhistory of the Paralympics,
um, Rio was a very di sort
of divisive, um, games in the sense
that the Olympics usually,uh, occur about two
to three weeks ahead of the Paralympics.
And at the time we had just found out
(20:13):
that the Olympic communityhosting at Rio had
to use up all the Paralympicfund money for the Olympics,
and we had no money leftfor the Paralympics.
So the few weeks leadingup to that was very scary
for the athletes not knowing if the games
would even happen at all.
Um, which of course we had the same
feelings four years later, .
But um, it was, I know fora lot of the other athletes
(20:35):
that were older and reallyunderstood the economics
and political side of all that,
it was really scary not knowing when
they would happen, if at all.
And thankfully once we got there
and we knew, okay, youknow, they found the money,
they found the funds andwe are gonna make this
something worthwhile.
We are going to show, youknow, everyone who decide
(20:56):
to take away all the Paralympic funding
and paralympic, um,ability that, you know,
we're here we mean business.
And it was absolutely phenomenal.
The, I was there fortwo weeks down in Brazil
and the whole thing was basically a fever
dream like for me.
Um, the, so all the athletesstay in one village complex
(21:18):
basically, which is aboutlike 20 high rise buildings
of apartments
and they have like entertainmentcenters this giant, um,
like food, uh, courts area
and tons of outdoor recreation.
And so you're put there withthe best athletes in the world
and it was amazing to walk around
(21:38):
and see everyone from alldifferent countries, uh,
represent their, uh, their area
of the world is when you'rein the village, you wear only,
uh, whatever teamsclothing, um, you represent.
So we had all of our team USA gear,
which I was stoked to have.
I was giddy like a schoolchild wearing it the whole time.
(21:59):
But, um, yeah, I was, it, I'm like,
my favorite part was justseeing everyone in all of their
clothing and seeing like, oh my gosh,
they're from this area of the world.
They're from a country Ididn't even know existed.
Like, this is insane. Um,
and then once I wentto the Olympic stadium,
(22:23):
which is the track
and field facilities,that was a real sort of,
um, arm pinching moment for me.
I was able to walk in on a daythat they had no competitions
and we sort of snuck in to view the area
and see, okay, what's thecompetition venue look like?
What can we expect when we walk in?
(22:44):
And it was just this huge gorgeous,
gorgeous blue track.
And I mean that at the time,
that was the largest venueI had ever stepped foot in.
And seeing that was so amazing.
I had seen pictures of it ahead of time,
but just the massive, the sheer mass of
that was so incredible.
(23:05):
And yeah, I, once I sawthat, I was like, okay,
I want competition day to be here
because I want to see this, this feels
so amazing to be here, .
- So then what was competition day like?
Being up against people from various
different regions of the world?
- It was absolutely crazy.
(23:26):
I personally think thatmy, uh, discus was sort
of the craziest, uh, thatone, I was the youngest by,
I believe at least 10 years.
Uh, 'cause throwers typicallyhave a longer lifespan
for their, uh, uh, career in sports.
And I got into it quite young.
(23:47):
And so being there I was like, oh my gosh,
these people have like so manyParalympics under their belt.
They've been to so many games before.
They have years of doing this.
This is like my firsttime being outta games
and I don't know what to expect.
And that was just nuts for me.
And thankfully I was able tomake finals in the discus, uh,
which was super cool.
I barely snuck in thereand I finished eighth
(24:09):
and I had a huge PR
and I, uh, I credit all that
to having just a huge adrenalinerush of being there, .
Uh, thankfully my, um,parents and my sisters
and one side of my grandparentswere able to actually fly
to Rio to support me.
So they were in the stands there with me.
And it was really amazing tolook back after every throw
(24:32):
and see them cheering meon and waving their flags.
Um, that really brought me, you know, back
to reality over time.
I sort of got freaked outabout being in the stadium.
Um, and it really humbledme just seeing them.
'cause you know, the family,they were the people who got me
to where I was and theysupported me through every part
(24:53):
of my journey to Rio.
So seeing them there, I waslike, oh my gosh, I'm, you know,
we made it, it was no longerlike, and I made it thing.
I was like, oh, we madeit, you know, we did this
and we are finally in the stadium.
And that was, it was anamazing experience. ,
- This next episode iswith Marsha McCurdy
(25:13):
Adell. As of today, she recently retired
as the Deputy Fire Marshal ofWest Hartford, Connecticut,
and she was the first black woman
to graduate from theConnecticut Fire Academy.
So then what has it beenlike being one of the only
black women in a male dominated field?
(25:33):
- It's a unique situation,obviously, and it's not easy.
It is not easy, um, in the beginning.
So to give it a little bitmore context, there are people
who, when I got on the job in 2000,
there were men there fromthe seventies, so from
before I was born, okay.
(25:56):
So there were a number of people, a number
of these guys that I wasworking alongside that I was,
we were risking our lives for each other.
I mean, that, that really is a fact.
Um, and they didn't want me there.
They, they said some of the,the unthinkables, you know, um,
(26:17):
and I still had to show up to work knowing
that this is the waythey thought about me.
Um, but I realized that they may have art.
They may articulate somethinglike, well, you know,
the only reason why you're here
is 'cause you checked two boxes.
And I say, I took thesame test that you did.
You're one of the, took thesame test. So I'm here on merit.
(26:40):
And, um, that's number one
and number two, regardless as to whether
or not I've got the experience
or I, you know, you'regonna wanna work with me
because I'm gonna be the bestfirefighter that I can be.
And I tried my best everyday to convince them of that.
And that is a very heavy burden .
Um, so instead what Idid was I just did the,
(27:02):
I did my best job formyself and for my community
and for my brothers andsisters on the job, not to try
and convince someonethat they should like me
or that I, I've earned my place there.
Um, I earned, uh, the townof West Hartford decided
that I earned my place there.
Um, I didn't have toconvince anybody else.
So, um, yeah, that, that partwas pretty tough at first.
(27:23):
But then there are otherpeople who were just
like, can you do the job ?
Uh, it's, it's prettyprohibitive for women.
Um, or people think thatit's prohibitive for women
because of this, the strength factor.
And once they realized that Iwasn't, I wasn't telling them
to do my job, and that I hada, a sincere curiosity about
(27:46):
how to do my job better
and I was holding my own in terms
of literally holding my own stuff, , um,
'cause everything is heavyin the fire department,
they're like, you know, she,she, she's not all that bad.
And then, um, you know,
and that's where ccomradery really begins.
And so it, it really wasn't like
what you see on TV in the beginning.
I can, I can, I can assure you of that,
(28:09):
but that's where it can end up.
Certainly can.
- Did you ever have any momentswhere you were like,
I just can't do this, or Ijust wanna throw the towel in?
- You know, I think it, thosemoments, as few as they are,
came more around loss
than my relationshipswith the guys on the job.
(28:30):
Um, because it's reallyhard to lose children
or, um,
when you see huge devastation.
We were at a fire where 14 people died.
Um, it, it's like, it's,
can you take the emotionaltoll that this plays, um,
(28:51):
you know, a a couple of Adviland a good night's sleep
and I can recover , at least back then .
Um, but really the emotionaltoll gets really hard
when you see loss after loss.
Um, there was a time when mygrandmother was really sick
and I was stationed in a partof town that had a lot of,
um, elderly housing.
Um, it had a lot of,uh, nursing homes and,
(29:13):
and assisted living facilities.
And every time we went to a call, I saw
my grandmother's face
and every one of them and they're dying.
And it was like so hard.
Um, but at the end of the day,you go back to the firehouse
after that call and you'rewith, you're with the guys that,
that are your family,that become your family.
And, um, that's what makes it easier.
(29:34):
So when you, when you come outof the call, you're thinking,
oh man, this is so hard.
I can't take another one of those calls.
Um, but you end up saying, allright, what's next? Bring it.
I got this.
- And what was your firehouse like?
Was it all men?
- Uh, rare was the occasionwhere I was ever stationed?
(29:57):
Like all like, so again, context.
I am in, um, a departmentthat is all career
and we have five firehouses.
The women, the five of us, ,
were all stationed atdifferent firehouses, .
So I guess we couldn't gangup on any of the guys, right?
(30:18):
Um, so there wasn't really,
unless it was a matter of,excuse me, swapping a shift
or working in overtime whereI'm in a different firehouse
that I ever saw other women generally.
And, um, and the occasionswhere that happened were,
you know, number one thatwas very few and far between,
and as was being stationedin the same firehouse.
(30:41):
So every day, like youwere assigned a firehouse
where you keep all of your belongings
and then you get anovertime shift, so you have
to go to a different firehouse.
And um, so rare was theoccasion where I was stationed
for very long with anotherwoman in the same firehouse,
much less at the same, uh,never at the same time.
I was never partnered with another woman.
(31:02):
- Lastly, Edward Underhillis a queer trans man
who is a music composer and author.
Since this episode released,
he has published two young adult
novels with more on the way.
So would you be willing to share
what your personal experience was like
as a teenager and being trans?
- Sure. So my personal experience being a
(31:26):
teenager and being trans was that like,
I didn't know I was transwhen I was a teenager.
So I came out way back inthe dark ages of 2009, um,
which is like both a long time ago
and not that long ago, um, like
really not that long ago.
But at the same time, just knowledge of
(31:49):
trans stuff has come so far since then.
So I came out when I was in college
and like, I remember looking
like literally googling,like looking online, trying
to find like a blog
or something to sort ofsee other people who were
(32:12):
like me, you know, tokind of like tell myself
that I was gonna be okay, right?
And I think I found one,
I found like literallyone blog by a trans man.
It's like the only onethere was for years.
Um, so I think like, thisis, this is something
where language becomes really important
and I just had no languagegrowing up for what I felt like,
(32:35):
so I like couldn't identifyit in any way except
that I felt wrong.
And I think like I am,
I I never was superstereotypically masculine.
So, um, like I rememberwhen I first came out to
someone and their response was like,
(32:58):
so do you like football now?
And I was like, well, no. Imean, I never liked football.
I'm not gonna start liking football just
'cause , I'm a guy now.
But like, I think
because of that, like I didn't, um,
it wasn't always immediatelyobvious to me like, well, I'm,
I'm not, I don't sort
of express masculinity inthese very stereotypical ways.
(33:22):
Um, so I, I don't think
for my teenage self I couldjust sort of go like, well, I'm,
I'm very uncomfortable, but Ikind of can't figure out why.
Um, so being a teenagerwas honestly really
hard because of that.
I, you know, I just, I was depressed a lot
and kind of had no ideawhy or what to do about it.
(33:43):
Um, and it really wasn'tuntil I got to college, um,
that other people were ableto give me that language
to understand who I was.
Um, and even then there, you know,
I think there were a fewother trans folks, um,
at my college, but there was a queer scene
and there were just peoplewho were able to help me kind
(34:05):
of figure out who I was andwhat to do about it as it were,
like, you know, just to, tokind of start that journey,
like people who were very accepting.
Um, um, so I was able to start
transitioning and I basicallytransitioned physically
sort of at the end of college, um,
(34:27):
and right before grad school.
So then basically when I wentto grad school, I was passing
as a regular guy.
Um, and for a long time, that'sjust kind of where I left it
because, you know, reallyuntil very recently, like
there were very few peoplewho were out as trans,
it didn't feel like aparticularly safe thing to be,
(34:49):
it still doesn't in many places.
Um, so I basically was kind of stealth
as they say for a long time.
And I just, I think thatthe 2016 election kind of
tipped things for me
because I realized that trans issues
were starting to take the spotlight.
(35:10):
Um, and there was startingto be a lot of backlash.
Um, a lot of ideas about whether
or not we should be ableto access healthcare.
Um, and I realized thatlike I, you know, in,
in music compositionespecially, it's a very, very
cis het male dominated space.
And so I worked with all thesepeople who just didn't know
(35:34):
that they knew a trans person basically.
And I think, I think there's a way
that when these issues comeup, people have this idea
that they don't reallyneed to care about it
because it doesn't affectthem or anyone they know.
So I decided to be much more out at
that point and came out tomy boss and stuff like that
because I just feltlike, I want you to know
(35:54):
that you do know a transperson and it does matter.
And then once I Always the Almost, I was like, yeah,
I'm gonna be out as a trans author
because I want those kids whoare googling to find, I mean,
now there are so many people you can find,
but I was just like, Iwanna be another person
that you can find instead ofthat like one dude that I found
Googling when I was younger.
(36:17):
- So did you find comfort
when you started coming outmore publicly to other people?
Or was there backlash?
- I basically had a reallypositive experience,
which I think I was very lucky.
I mean, when I first cameout as trans, that was,
(36:38):
that was more complicatedand that was trickier.
And it was partly just that so few people
even knew what that meant,that I think it was hard.
I mean, it was hard for myfamily to really grasp what
that meant.
Um, and it took some, someworking through to kind of get
(37:00):
to a point where everybody was okay.
Um, I think like when I came out
later in, in 2016, um, you know, two more
of my acquaintances
or the folks that I workedwith, that went pretty well.
I mean, I basically approachedit as like, you need
to ask me questions, ask mequestions, which is like, not
(37:23):
what I recommend doing.
The second, you know,a trans person be like,
let me ask you all the questions.
Because some trans folks arelike, I would really like
to not be everyone's trans 101.
But, um, but I just feltlike, yeah, you know what?
Ask me the questions. I'drather you get this from me than
from like whatever random Google search
you're gonna do in five minutes.
Um, and basically like,you know, we kind of,
(37:47):
we got some questions out of the way
and then we kind of moved on
and it's, I mean, you know,
this is also the Southern California .
Like it's, I think especiallyrecently, it's been
extremely different indifferent parts of the country.
And I am lucky that rightnow I live someplace where
it is, it is absolutelya hundred percent easier
to be trans here.
(38:08):
And also I ba I mean,
I look like a regular guywalking down the street, right?
Like I am, yes, I am asort of short regular guy
and I probably read as pretty gay,
but like, you know, , that's,
that's a lot different than someone
who doesn't necessarilypass as a cis person.
Um, and I'm sure that,you know, that impacts
(38:29):
my experience as well.
- All right. That bringsthis episode to a close.
Like last time I'll be providingthe relevant episode titles
and resources for theepisodes you heard clips from
today in the description.
And of course, thank you fortaking the time out of your day
to hear some clips fromsome previous stories.
(38:52):
Until next time, bye.
- Hello and welcome to Introducing Me.
I'm your host Sarah. Istarted this podcast to get
to know other people and lifestyles while
discovering more about myself.
Each episode I give a new guest a chance
to discuss their background,culture, interests,
or whatever they want to talkabout to help increase all
of our own worldviews.
Following up from last episode,
we're taking a look backat some previous episodes.
(00:36):
You'll hear clips that wererecorded in my second year
of podcasting, specificallybetween October 19th, 2021
and July 11th, 2022.
In the next episode,
we'll be looking back atepisodes from year three.
As I close out my fourth yearof podcasting, it's important
to realize that these episodesweren't recorded within the
last few weeks, like my regular episodes.
(00:58):
Things these guests stated atthe time may not be a fully
accurate representationof how they are today,
but I wanted to pull different stories
and life experiences for today's episode.
There are clips of varyinglengths from five different
episodes, and I hope
that if you haven't heard these episodes,
you give the archives a chanceto hear their entire stories,
or if you have heard thembefore, give them another listen
(01:19):
and you might find joy in recalling back
to when you firstlistened to that episode.
This first clip is from myconversation with Michael Long.
He's an advocate, inspirational speaker,
and the author ofA Life Like Anybody Else:
How a Man with an IntellectualDisability Fulfilled
His American Dream.
And what do you think thebest things to tell children
(01:44):
are in terms of accepting people
with intellectual disabilities
and making sure that yes, you know,
they are a part of society?
- Well, I think that, um,
the most important message that I try
(02:07):
to be able to get outthere for, uh, the children
is being able to know
that they're just like them, them,
and, um, and, um,
it is, uh, important, um,
(02:31):
to be able to be a part of
inclusion opportunities
because it is a most
powerful thing that when, uh, individual
with a intellectual disability to
(02:53):
be able to have their dreams come true.
And I think one of the messages that I got
across is that couple of things.
One is when you grow up
and get married, you could have a child
(03:14):
with a intellectual disability.
And so it's important to be able
to make sure that
when theyre children
and they interact with peoplewith developmental disability,
(03:35):
that prepares them as being parents
in a situation in the newfuture of if they have,
um, inter intellectual disabilities.
One of the things that I
did in my speeches,especially at junior high,
(03:59):
because that's where youreally start associating
with other people and making friends and,
and, um, and,
and being able to interact with
your friends and everything.
And so, um, I think there's a barrier
(04:24):
in the situation, uh, especially with PE
in the situation.
Um, and that is whereyou have two captains
in the situation
and they pick the people, um, um,
pick the people in the situation of, of
(04:48):
who they want on their team ifthey were playing basketball
or football or baseball
or whatever the case might be.
And so it was really, um, important
that, um, where I said that
(05:10):
you need to be able to not have captains
and choose people
because people with intellectualdisabilities that are
included always get chose last
in the situation.
And so how you prevent that, um,
(05:33):
from happening is youjust go down 1, 2, 1, 2,
all the ones in the situation,your one team, all the twos
and another team, and you, uh,
have an inclusive opportunityto make a difference
in people's lives andbeing able to play sports.
(05:57):
And I'm a big sports fan,as you probably could tell.
I'm a big San Francisco Giants
107 wins this year out of, uh,
162 games.
And they cremated the Dodgers,
the rivalry last night in the first game
(06:22):
that they ever played witheach other in the playoffs.
And so I was so her static that, um,
we won four to nothing last night.
And, and so, uh,
it's really important to be able to,
(06:45):
um, have inclusive opportunities
at that age.
- Yeah, and I think that exampleyou gave just in PE class
is so useful and, and easy to do
and would affect a lot of people, um,
(07:07):
who aren't getting pickedfirst when it comes
to, to team sports.
Now, in your book it does mention
that I believe your parentswere originally told you may
never speak, which isobviously not what happened.
Um. - Right. - So would
- That's true.
(07:28):
- Would you be willing totalk a little bit about, um,
your disability and what sortof things you do struggle with
because you, you do speakand that has been happening ?
- Yeah. Well, one of the things is, is uh,
I think the doctor didn'tknow what he was talking about
(07:50):
and what kind of commitmentthat my parents, um,
had, um, uh, being able to make sure
that, um, um, that I, um,
my parents, um, made sure that I, uh,
(08:12):
have the opportunity to speak.
I remembered that I hated it.
Um, there was a time that where, um,
I went to, uh, a little town called
Chico, California,
and it was rated back in 19, uh,
(08:35):
89, the number oneparty school in America,
and that is Chico State.
And so, um, one of the things that
happened is, uh, Ididn't like the situation
and so my parents decided not
(08:56):
to be able to spend themoney, uh, of sending me
to a speech therapist when I was little
in a situation.
And, um, and so, um, one
of the things that happened is, um,
(09:17):
it created a lot of barriers between me
and my classmates without
intellectual disabilities.
And that is where I left,there was a speech therapist
in the situation, uh, uh, at the school.
And so I left the room in the situation
(09:42):
and that created barriers
of why is Michael goingout of the classroom?
Um, and so, um, um,
I, uh, had a lot of speechtherapists, uh, speech therapy,
and then from first grade on, uh, to,
(10:04):
I think it was about sixth grade
or seventh grade that whereI went to my first, um,
grade teacher, Mrs.
Beckman. And, um, she, uh, um,
I went to, um, uh, herhouse during the summer
(10:27):
to be able to, for about two hours to
be able to make sure that I kept up
during the summer years
and being able to learnhow to read and talk and,
and, and all of that kind of stuff.
So as you can see, Ihad very strong parents
(10:52):
in the situation ofwanting me to be able to
learn how to talk and learnhow to be able to walk
and, um, and um, um,
and so I, um, um,
(11:15):
I I always loved Mrs.
Beckman. Um,
and so it was something that, um,
I always enjoyed duringthe summer years, um,
um, or summertime during the years
(11:36):
of, of summer.
Um, so yeah, that's, that's
how that happened.
- Next up is a quickclip from Vera's episode.
She is an ASL Englishinterpreter from Ontario, Canada,
(11:56):
and also a CODA, which isan acronym that means child
of deaf adult. ASL is her first language
and she has spent her wholelife working and volunteering
and just being a partof the deaf community.
What is the day-to-day responsibility
of being an interpreter?
- It depends on the day
(12:17):
because I am, I have twointerpreting hats that I wear.
I have a contract where I'man interpreter for individuals
that are newcomers to Canada at a program
where they're learning written English
and ASL with the goal ofbecoming Canadian citizens.
So they can book me forwhatever they need me for
during the 15 hours a week thatI'm contracted to be there.
(12:39):
And by be there nowadaysit's mostly virtual but .
But, uh, I'm available tothem for whatever they need,
whether it's a dentistappointment, doctor's appointment,
job interview, citizenshiptest, everything.
Um, and then I also work
as a freelance sign language interpreter.
And so that is where peoplecan contact me directly
for whatever their interpreting needs are.
(13:01):
And I go to different assignments daily.
So I have two funerals this week.
I had a wedding earlier this month,
lots of doctor's appointments.
Um, I did fan expo, um,Toronto earlier this month.
So anywhere that you or Iwould go, deaf people also go,
but they need access andthat's where I come in.
(13:24):
- And is it difficult specifically
with like doctor's appointmentsand like medical jargon
and to kind of expand that knowledge
because I feel like I forgetterms in like spoken language
to then also be like you weren't learning,
I would guess those thingswhen you were first learning
ASL as your first language.
(13:46):
- No, and it's also a bigreason that I'm an advocate
of why CODAs shouldn'tbe used as interpreters,
especially when they're children,
because we don't have the terminology,
the world worldliness.
We don't have thevocabulary, we don't have
the confidentiality agreement.
We're not non partial as CODAs.
(14:08):
And so they shouldn'tbe used as interpreters.
You, you should use qualifiedinterpreters as much
as possible because of confidentiality,
because we study in order tobe able to interrupt the doctor
and say, I'm sorry for the interpreter,
I don't quite understand what that is,
would you mind explaining it to me so
that I could better explainit to the deaf person?
(14:29):
Um, or ask for preparationmaterials ahead of time so
that we can read up on certain things
and become well informed.
Interpreters are are like, um, jack
of all trades, master of none.
Like we know a little bit about every
single thing that we have to do.
Um, and I'm thankful
and very privileged to be able to do that
because I do learn a lotpersonally that I can retain
(14:51):
for future appointmentsor um, even future benefit.
- As I'm preparing this episode
and on its release date,
the Paralympic Games arecurrently being held in Paris
where Jessica Heims is competing.
When Jessica was born, she was diagnosed
with amniotic band syndrome.
About a year after herbirth, her parents decided
that the best course of action was
(15:11):
to have her leg amputated right
around the ankle calf region.
She goes into more detail in the episode,
but this clip covers her experience
with the Paralympic Games.
Now, you mentioned that yougot into the Paralympics when I
believe you were in high school.
So how did that come about
and what was that storyto kind of be like,
(15:35):
this is something I'm not interested
in, I'm gonna go for it.
- Yeah, so my mom was on,
I believe she was on Facebookone day just scrolling
through things and shefound a page for, um,
this Adaptive Meet down in Oklahoma City.
And she read up on itin her that it was for
or learn about that it wasfor, um, adaptive athletes
(15:56):
of all ages, but it'sgeared towards, uh, youth
and, um, adaptive children.
And we had no idea thisworld was even a thing.
We, I never heard of it,
but we decided that is going
to be our summer vacation for the time.
So we made a plan and uh,we sat down as a family
and my parents said, we're gonna try this.
(16:17):
We have no idea if we'regonna hate it or not.
If we try it for one daydecide, this isn't our thing.
We'll find something elseto do in Oklahoma City,
but if we end up loving it,we'll enjoy the whole week.
And we got down there
and absolutely fell in lovewith the environment right away.
Uh, for me it was just,it was really impactful
to be in an environment
where the whole communityunderstands, um, I, 'cause
(16:40):
before I knew all my sportsexperience was with children
who didn't have any sortof physical disability.
And so I was just usedto knowing that, okay,
I'll probably be slower than them in this.
I probably won't be able to do this
or have to adapt it in a way
that no one else really understandswhy or how I'm doing it.
But once I got there, thatwasn't even a problem.
You know, everyone expected, you know,
(17:02):
you go into a building,okay, where's the elevator?
Where's the ramp? Because we have people
that want to do this and need this.
And so we just casually do that.
And you know, everyone hastheir prosthetics laying
around on the groundand it's not a problem.
We're comparing legs andeverything and stories.
And it was just a reallyunique, unique environment
that I had no idea even existed.
(17:23):
My family didn't either.And we love that community
of understanding and beingable to compete alongside
athletes that had so manydifferent disabilities ones I had
never even heard of that at the time.
That really grew my love for the sport.
And it, it impacted me so positively
that once we came back home, like, we have
(17:45):
to make this a regular thing.
I need to be more likevia these, meet more,
even if it's not to compete,just to be in that environment.
So yeah, that absolutely,I fell in love with it
and it was there that I wastold about the Paralympics
and how this isn't like, youdon't just have to do this
as a casual event.
You can also do this professionally
and you know, as an elite athlete.
(18:06):
- So then what was it like trying out
and being accepted to go to Rio?
- It was very crazy.
I went into it not reallyknowing if I would make it
and sort of expecting that I wouldn't.
Uh, at the time that I tried out, I was 16
or 17 years old, so I was very young
(18:27):
and I had only been, uh,competing against adult
and elite athletes for abouttwo years at that point.
So I thankfully knew someof the other athletes
that were there and theycould sort of coach me
through like, okay, this willbe sort of a scary experience,
but here's, you know,what you're gonna see
what you're gonna, you know, have to do.
(18:48):
And I remember trying out for the 400
and I tried for the 400 and the discus
and I went, went to end up with the 400.
I looked to my right
and there was the world recordholder of the 400 meters.
I'm like, oh my gosh,like she's really famous.
She paved the ways for all ofus. This is absolutely insane.
What am I doing here? Andthat was bizarre for me.
(19:11):
But in the same sense,I felt very comfortable
and it felt very natural forme to be in that environment.
I was like, I kind of feellike I don't belong only
because I'm young and Ihaven't done this before.
But it felt very right to be there.
And I mean, once I foundout that it made it, I just,
I bawled the entire time my family
(19:31):
and I were together when we found out
and we were just hugging and crying
and we had to pinch ourselves
and say, okay, is thisis actually happening
and this is actually a thing, you know,
this isn't just a dreamanymore, it's a reality.
And that was, that wasreally cool to experience.
- And then what was Rio like?
- It was insane.
(19:52):
So , um, just to give a briefhistory of the Paralympics,
um, Rio was a very di sort
of divisive, um, games in the sense
that the Olympics usually,uh, occur about two
to three weeks ahead of the Paralympics.
And at the time we had just found out
(20:13):
that the Olympic communityhosting at Rio had
to use up all the Paralympicfund money for the Olympics,
and we had no money leftfor the Paralympics.
So the few weeks leadingup to that was very scary
for the athletes not knowing if the games
would even happen at all.
Um, which of course we had the same
feelings four years later, .
But um, it was, I know fora lot of the other athletes
(20:35):
that were older and reallyunderstood the economics
and political side of all that,
it was really scary not knowing when
they would happen, if at all.
And thankfully once we got there
and we knew, okay, youknow, they found the money,
they found the funds andwe are gonna make this
something worthwhile.
We are going to show, youknow, everyone who decide
(20:56):
to take away all the Paralympic funding
and paralympic, um,ability that, you know,
we're here we mean business.
And it was absolutely phenomenal.
The, I was there fortwo weeks down in Brazil
and the whole thing was basically a fever
dream like for me.
Um, the, so all the athletesstay in one village complex
(21:18):
basically, which is aboutlike 20 high rise buildings
of apartments
and they have like entertainmentcenters this giant, um,
like food, uh, courts area
and tons of outdoor recreation.
And so you're put there withthe best athletes in the world
and it was amazing to walk around
(21:38):
and see everyone from alldifferent countries, uh,
represent their, uh, their area
of the world is when you'rein the village, you wear only,
uh, whatever teamsclothing, um, you represent.
So we had all of our team USA gear,
which I was stoked to have.
I was giddy like a schoolchild wearing it the whole time.
(21:59):
But, um, yeah, I was, it, I'm like,
my favorite part was justseeing everyone in all of their
clothing and seeing like, oh my gosh,
they're from this area of the world.
They're from a country Ididn't even know existed.
Like, this is insane. Um,
and then once I wentto the Olympic stadium,
(22:23):
which is the track
and field facilities,that was a real sort of,
um, arm pinching moment for me.
I was able to walk in on a daythat they had no competitions
and we sort of snuck in to view the area
and see, okay, what's thecompetition venue look like?
What can we expect when we walk in?
(22:44):
And it was just this huge gorgeous,
gorgeous blue track.
And I mean that at the time,
that was the largest venueI had ever stepped foot in.
And seeing that was so amazing.
I had seen pictures of it ahead of time,
but just the massive, the sheer mass of
that was so incredible.
(23:05):
And yeah, I, once I sawthat, I was like, okay,
I want competition day to be here
because I want to see this, this feels
so amazing to be here, .
- So then what was competition day like?
Being up against people from various
different regions of the world?
- It was absolutely crazy.
(23:26):
I personally think thatmy, uh, discus was sort
of the craziest, uh, thatone, I was the youngest by,
I believe at least 10 years.
Uh, 'cause throwers typicallyhave a longer lifespan
for their, uh, uh, career in sports.
And I got into it quite young.
(23:47):
And so being there I was like, oh my gosh,
these people have like so manyParalympics under their belt.
They've been to so many games before.
They have years of doing this.
This is like my firsttime being outta games
and I don't know what to expect.
And that was just nuts for me.
And thankfully I was able tomake finals in the discus, uh,
which was super cool.
I barely snuck in thereand I finished eighth
(24:09):
and I had a huge PR
and I, uh, I credit all that
to having just a huge adrenalinerush of being there, .
Uh, thankfully my, um,parents and my sisters
and one side of my grandparentswere able to actually fly
to Rio to support me.
So they were in the stands there with me.
And it was really amazing tolook back after every throw
(24:32):
and see them cheering meon and waving their flags.
Um, that really brought me, you know, back
to reality over time.
I sort of got freaked outabout being in the stadium.
Um, and it really humbledme just seeing them.
'cause you know, the family,they were the people who got me
to where I was and theysupported me through every part
(24:53):
of my journey to Rio.
So seeing them there, I waslike, oh my gosh, I'm, you know,
we made it, it was no longerlike, and I made it thing.
I was like, oh, we madeit, you know, we did this
and we are finally in the stadium.
And that was, it was anamazing experience. ,
- This next episode iswith Marsha McCurdy
(25:13):
Adell. As of today, she recently retired
as the Deputy Fire Marshal ofWest Hartford, Connecticut,
and she was the first black woman
to graduate from theConnecticut Fire Academy.
So then what has it beenlike being one of the only
black women in a male dominated field?
(25:33):
- It's a unique situation,obviously, and it's not easy.
It is not easy, um, in the beginning.
So to give it a little bitmore context, there are people
who, when I got on the job in 2000,
there were men there fromthe seventies, so from
before I was born, okay.
(25:56):
So there were a number of people, a number
of these guys that I wasworking alongside that I was,
we were risking our lives for each other.
I mean, that, that really is a fact.
Um, and they didn't want me there.
They, they said some of the,the unthinkables, you know, um,
(26:17):
and I still had to show up to work knowing
that this is the waythey thought about me.
Um, but I realized that they may have art.
They may articulate somethinglike, well, you know,
the only reason why you're here
is 'cause you checked two boxes.
And I say, I took thesame test that you did.
You're one of the, took thesame test. So I'm here on merit.
(26:40):
And, um, that's number one
and number two, regardless as to whether
or not I've got the experience
or I, you know, you'regonna wanna work with me
because I'm gonna be the bestfirefighter that I can be.
And I tried my best everyday to convince them of that.
And that is a very heavy burden .
Um, so instead what Idid was I just did the,
(27:02):
I did my best job formyself and for my community
and for my brothers andsisters on the job, not to try
and convince someonethat they should like me
or that I, I've earned my place there.
Um, I earned, uh, the townof West Hartford decided
that I earned my place there.
Um, I didn't have toconvince anybody else.
So, um, yeah, that, that partwas pretty tough at first.
(27:23):
But then there are otherpeople who were just
like, can you do the job ?
Uh, it's, it's prettyprohibitive for women.
Um, or people think thatit's prohibitive for women
because of this, the strength factor.
And once they realized that Iwasn't, I wasn't telling them
to do my job, and that I hada, a sincere curiosity about
(27:46):
how to do my job better
and I was holding my own in terms
of literally holding my own stuff, , um,
'cause everything is heavyin the fire department,
they're like, you know, she,she, she's not all that bad.
And then, um, you know,
and that's where ccomradery really begins.
And so it, it really wasn't like
what you see on TV in the beginning.
I can, I can, I can assure you of that,
(28:09):
but that's where it can end up.
Certainly can.
- Did you ever have any momentswhere you were like,
I just can't do this, or Ijust wanna throw the towel in?
- You know, I think it, thosemoments, as few as they are,
came more around loss
than my relationshipswith the guys on the job.
(28:30):
Um, because it's reallyhard to lose children
or, um,
when you see huge devastation.
We were at a fire where 14 people died.
Um, it, it's like, it's,
can you take the emotionaltoll that this plays, um,
(28:51):
you know, a a couple of Adviland a good night's sleep
and I can recover , at least back then .
Um, but really the emotionaltoll gets really hard
when you see loss after loss.
Um, there was a time when mygrandmother was really sick
and I was stationed in a partof town that had a lot of,
um, elderly housing.
Um, it had a lot of,uh, nursing homes and,
(29:13):
and assisted living facilities.
And every time we went to a call, I saw
my grandmother's face
and every one of them and they're dying.
And it was like so hard.
Um, but at the end of the day,you go back to the firehouse
after that call and you'rewith, you're with the guys that,
that are your family,that become your family.
And, um, that's what makes it easier.
(29:34):
So when you, when you come outof the call, you're thinking,
oh man, this is so hard.
I can't take another one of those calls.
Um, but you end up saying, allright, what's next? Bring it.
I got this.
- And what was your firehouse like?
Was it all men?
- Uh, rare was the occasionwhere I was ever stationed?
(29:57):
Like all like, so again, context.
I am in, um, a departmentthat is all career
and we have five firehouses.
The women, the five of us, ,
were all stationed atdifferent firehouses, .
So I guess we couldn't gangup on any of the guys, right?
(30:18):
Um, so there wasn't really,
unless it was a matter of,excuse me, swapping a shift
or working in overtime whereI'm in a different firehouse
that I ever saw other women generally.
And, um, and the occasionswhere that happened were,
you know, number one thatwas very few and far between,
and as was being stationedin the same firehouse.
(30:41):
So every day, like youwere assigned a firehouse
where you keep all of your belongings
and then you get anovertime shift, so you have
to go to a different firehouse.
And um, so rare was theoccasion where I was stationed
for very long with anotherwoman in the same firehouse,
much less at the same, uh,never at the same time.
I was never partnered with another woman.
(31:02):
- Lastly, Edward Underhillis a queer trans man
who is a music composer and author.
Since this episode released,
he has published two young adult
novels with more on the way.
So would you be willing to share
what your personal experience was like
as a teenager and being trans?
- Sure. So my personal experience being a
(31:26):
teenager and being trans was that like,
I didn't know I was transwhen I was a teenager.
So I came out way back inthe dark ages of 2009, um,
which is like both a long time ago
and not that long ago, um, like
really not that long ago.
But at the same time, just knowledge of
(31:49):
trans stuff has come so far since then.
So I came out when I was in college
and like, I remember looking
like literally googling,like looking online, trying
to find like a blog
or something to sort ofsee other people who were
(32:12):
like me, you know, tokind of like tell myself
that I was gonna be okay, right?
And I think I found one,
I found like literallyone blog by a trans man.
It's like the only onethere was for years.
Um, so I think like, thisis, this is something
where language becomes really important
and I just had no languagegrowing up for what I felt like,
(32:35):
so I like couldn't identifyit in any way except
that I felt wrong.
And I think like I am,
I I never was superstereotypically masculine.
So, um, like I rememberwhen I first came out to
someone and their response was like,
(32:58):
so do you like football now?
And I was like, well, no. Imean, I never liked football.
I'm not gonna start liking football just
'cause , I'm a guy now.
But like, I think
because of that, like I didn't, um,
it wasn't always immediatelyobvious to me like, well, I'm,
I'm not, I don't sort
of express masculinity inthese very stereotypical ways.
(33:22):
Um, so I, I don't think
for my teenage self I couldjust sort of go like, well, I'm,
I'm very uncomfortable, but Ikind of can't figure out why.
Um, so being a teenagerwas honestly really
hard because of that.
I, you know, I just, I was depressed a lot
and kind of had no ideawhy or what to do about it.
(33:43):
Um, and it really wasn'tuntil I got to college, um,
that other people were ableto give me that language
to understand who I was.
Um, and even then there, you know,
I think there were a fewother trans folks, um,
at my college, but there was a queer scene
and there were just peoplewho were able to help me kind
(34:05):
of figure out who I was andwhat to do about it as it were,
like, you know, just to, tokind of start that journey,
like people who were very accepting.
Um, um, so I was able to start
transitioning and I basicallytransitioned physically
sort of at the end of college, um,
(34:27):
and right before grad school.
So then basically when I wentto grad school, I was passing
as a regular guy.
Um, and for a long time, that'sjust kind of where I left it
because, you know, reallyuntil very recently, like
there were very few peoplewho were out as trans,
it didn't feel like aparticularly safe thing to be,
(34:49):
it still doesn't in many places.
Um, so I basically was kind of stealth
as they say for a long time.
And I just, I think thatthe 2016 election kind of
tipped things for me
because I realized that trans issues
were starting to take the spotlight.
(35:10):
Um, and there was startingto be a lot of backlash.
Um, a lot of ideas about whether
or not we should be ableto access healthcare.
Um, and I realized thatlike I, you know, in,
in music compositionespecially, it's a very, very
cis het male dominated space.
And so I worked with all thesepeople who just didn't know
(35:34):
that they knew a trans person basically.
And I think, I think there's a way
that when these issues comeup, people have this idea
that they don't reallyneed to care about it
because it doesn't affectthem or anyone they know.
So I decided to be much more out at
that point and came out tomy boss and stuff like that
because I just feltlike, I want you to know
(35:54):
that you do know a transperson and it does matter.
And then once I Always the Almost, I was like, yeah,
I'm gonna be out as a trans author
because I want those kids whoare googling to find, I mean,
now there are so many people you can find,
but I was just like, Iwanna be another person
that you can find instead ofthat like one dude that I found
Googling when I was younger.
(36:17):
- So did you find comfort
when you started coming outmore publicly to other people?
Or was there backlash?
- I basically had a reallypositive experience,
which I think I was very lucky.
I mean, when I first cameout as trans, that was,
(36:38):
that was more complicatedand that was trickier.
And it was partly just that so few people
even knew what that meant,that I think it was hard.
I mean, it was hard for myfamily to really grasp what
that meant.
Um, and it took some, someworking through to kind of get
(37:00):
to a point where everybody was okay.
Um, I think like when I came out
later in, in 2016, um, you know, two more
of my acquaintances
or the folks that I workedwith, that went pretty well.
I mean, I basically approachedit as like, you need
to ask me questions, ask mequestions, which is like, not
(37:23):
what I recommend doing.
The second, you know,a trans person be like,
let me ask you all the questions.
Because some trans folks arelike, I would really like
to not be everyone's trans 101.
But, um, but I just feltlike, yeah, you know what?
Ask me the questions. I'drather you get this from me than
from like whatever random Google search
you're gonna do in five minutes.
Um, and basically like,you know, we kind of,
(37:47):
we got some questions out of the way
and then we kind of moved on
and it's, I mean, you know,
this is also the Southern California .
Like it's, I think especiallyrecently, it's been
extremely different indifferent parts of the country.
And I am lucky that rightnow I live someplace where
it is, it is absolutelya hundred percent easier
to be trans here.
(38:08):
And also I ba I mean,
I look like a regular guywalking down the street, right?
Like I am, yes, I am asort of short regular guy
and I probably read as pretty gay,
but like, you know, , that's,
that's a lot different than someone
who doesn't necessarilypass as a cis person.
Um, and I'm sure that,you know, that impacts
(38:29):
my experience as well.
- All right. That bringsthis episode to a close.
Like last time I'll be providingthe relevant episode titles
and resources for theepisodes you heard clips from
today in the description.
And of course, thank you fortaking the time out of your day
to hear some clips fromsome previous stories.
(38:52):
Until next time, bye.
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