Unsilenced Voices: Bold Strategies to Speak Up and Be Heard in a Noisy World

Have you ever caught yourself holding back, biting your tongue, fearing the judgment that might come with speaking your mind? It's a struggle we've all faced, thanks to our hardwired instinct for social preservation. In our latest episode, we dig into the heart of this fear, known as glossophobia, and the evolutionary roots that cause our brains to respond in such a visceral way to the prospect of speaking up.

Brace yourself as we journey through my personal path to finding my voice and overcoming this fear. Starting with harmless banter with Alexa and Siri, I gradually found the courage to express my thoughts more freely. We'll roll out practical tips on transforming this fear into courage, from the importance of preparation to the power of affirmative language. Let's conquer the art of speaking up together - because your voice matters. Your opinions are valid. And it's high time you felt comfortable expressing them. Tune in and let's take the leap towards a more confident, vocal you.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't make fun of me now.
It really works.
Just give it a listen.
Hey there, fellow introvert onstage.
This show is a safe space forthe soft souls to learn, connect
and master communication.
I'm Olivia Lee and you'relistening to Introvert on Stage.
Today, let's dwell on theimportance of speaking up In

(00:23):
this loud world inundated withendless chatters, both online
and offline, we're involvingourselves in conversations
happening globally, without ageographical limit, also
endlessly because social medianever stops.
But why is that, although weseem to be talking, or more so,
typing more than before, therestill seems to be fear and

(00:45):
hesitation to be the first tospeak up, or speak up for
ourselves?
Because if we don't speak upfor ourselves, we could find
ourselves not getting what wewant, involving ourselves in
rumors and lies of some thingsthat we didn't do and letting
other people control our liveswhen it should be us holding
that steering wheel.
The fear of speaking up orpublic speaking is referred to

(01:08):
as glossophobia, and it can berooted in our psychological and
social factors.
If we look at this fear fromour evolutionary perspective,
humans have developed as socialcreatures with a strong sense of
wanting to belong and asurvival, depending on our
membership within that communityor group, which means standing
out or speaking up against themajority, could have led to

(01:30):
being ostracized, which backthen had life or death
consequences.
So it's understandable that thefear is deeply rooted in us,
and the fear of speaking upcould also be tied to our fear
of social judgment.
It could manifest as the fearof rejection, failure and
negative evaluation.
Who likes getting rejected?

(01:51):
Nobody.
If you're afraid that your ideaor opinion could get shut down,
the easier way out is to notbring it up in the first place.
Or what if other people thinkyour idea or opinion is bad and
stupid and tell you that you'rewrong?
We worry that other people willthink less of us if we make a
mistake or say somethingunpopular.

(02:12):
And you are scientificallyspeaking up activate parts of
our brain associated with stressand anxiety.
When we imagine ourselvesspeaking up, our amygdala, the
fear center of the brain, cantrigger a fight or flight
response, releasing stresshormones like adrenaline and
cortisol, which could lead us tohave increased heart rate,
shaking or internal panic, eventhough we only thought of

(02:36):
speaking up.
Have you ever experienced that?
Because I have, and you mightbe thinking at this point geez,
olivia, we get it.
You're making it sound scariernow, and the reason why I wanted
to dive deeper into where thisfear is coming from is because
fear usually comes from notknowing.
Just like how we're finewalking around in our room
during the day, but the sameexact room in pitch black

(03:00):
darkness, we fear running intothings or maybe imagining
something standing in the corner.
That's because we don't knowwhat's there.
If we clearly understand whereour fear is coming from and
what's causing it, it becomes somuch easier to empathize with
ourselves and even be friendswith that fear.
If you really think about whatI just went over, your fear of

(03:22):
speaking up for yourself isn't asign of weakness.
It's just your kind brainwanting to respect other people,
fit in with the group andprotect you from being seen as a
weirdo.
How kind your fear is simplyyour anxious best friend who is
always worried about you becausethey want nothing but the best
for you.
The more we prove to ourselvesthat, ah, that was nothing to be

(03:46):
scared about, it definitelybecomes easier over time.
Does that help?
Now that we know where the fearcomes from, let's talk about
turning that fear into courage.
I won't simply tell you to dowhat scares you, just like
everyone else on the internet,because I know how scary and
Impossible it feels, especiallyas someone with an introverted
personality.
So here's what I did instead togradually expose myself to a

(04:11):
feared situation, I startedstating my opinions to Alexa and
Siri and yes, you're right, Idon't have two girlfriends named
Alexa and Siri.
I mean the little device fromAmazon and my phone.
Don't make fun of me now itreally works.
Just just give it a listen.
Speaking with non-human devicesand artificial intelligence,

(04:31):
like chat, gpt helped me tostart expressing my opinion in a
small scale, including sayingno.
Do you know how liberating andpowerful I feel whenever I ask
Alexa for the weather?
And she asked if I also want toknow Tomorrow's weather and I
say no, heck, no, no, thank you,I don't need that information.
Ah, if you were judging mesecretly or think that's weird,

(04:54):
you're actually a step ahead.
That just where I had to start,because it was that difficult
for me.
The next step for me was to letmy circle of friends be aware of
where I am and what I'm hopingto achieve.
For instance, I told myboyfriend and a few of my best
friends and my counselor thatI'm working on expressing my
thoughts more clearly Instead ofletting things pile up.

(05:17):
That opened up a safer placefor me to practice sharing my
thoughts and opinions with easeand Sometimes them even giving
me a high five for trying toimprove.
What I also found to be helpfulis to prepare your points in
advance.
Writing down what you want tosay or questions you'd like to
ask in advance.
We'll give you a referencepoint and reduce anxiety about

(05:38):
forgetting what you want to say.
You and I both know thatwriting things down is a proven
technique for remembering ideas,thoughts and tasks, better than
just rehearsing them insideyour head.
So take it a step furtherPracticing your points out loud,
either alone or with someoneyou trust.
Saying it out loud andpracticing can help you to

(05:58):
become more comfortable witharticulating your thoughts.
A nonverbal way for you to speakup for yourself is through
confident body language.
No matter how good your wordsare, if you're slouched down,
talking very quietly has, ittend to make eye contact and add
in too many um.
You know like People willslowly think there's no point in

(06:26):
listening to you.
Sit up straight, make eyecontact.
A little tip if it's too scary,just look in between their eyes
, that little point on top oftheir nose.
They'll see you as Megan Icontact I do that all the time
and nod in agreement to whatother people are saying.
These nonverbal cues Signal toothers that you're engaged in a

(06:46):
current conversation and havesomething to contribute.
And this can be easier if youalso seek allies.
You could let a friend who'ssupportive know in advance that
you have something to share.
So even if you're struggling tospeak up, the person could set
the stage for you.
We're asking a question for youand when it comes to your time
to speak, it's powerful to useaffirmative language that shows

(07:09):
confidence in your ideas, suchas I believe, or in my
experience.
And when you do speak up, beclear and to the point.
Having a lot to say could leadus to talk on and on, and on and
on, but keeping it short andclear will make sure that your
message is understood, whileholding others attention.

(07:32):
And sometimes, if appropriate,humor can also be an excellent
way to grab people's attentionor show that you're not nervous
to share your thoughts andopinions.
And, of course, these thingsare easier said than done.
Am I right?
And I'm still learning as I go.
But, like any other skills inlife, speaking up for yourself

(07:53):
is also a skill that's learnableand and improvable upon
practice.
Each time you voice yourthoughts or opinions or ideas in
a group, even if that groupstarts with Alexa, siri and GPT,
you will build your confidenceGradually, and what matters most
is that you're taking thosesteps.

(08:13):
So what's the lesson from today?
Learn to speak up and fight foryourself.
Often, people misunderstandsilence for weakness, so it's
more powerful to speak up thanto silently resent.