December 22, 2024 • 30 mins
What if traditional New Year's resolutions are setting you up for failure? Join me, Tara Mychelle, on the Intuitive Mentor Mom Podcast as we explore a transformative ritual that flips the script on conventional end-of-year practices. For nearly twenty years, I've embraced a method focused on gratitude and self-reflection, allowing us to step into the new year with clarity and purpose. Leaving behind the negativity and self-criticism often associated with resolutions, we'll focus on recognizing our achievements in various life areas, creating a positive foundation for a fulfilling 2025.
This episode invites you to pause and truly reflect on your personal growth over the past year. We'll discuss how acknowledging accomplishments in health, finances, spirituality, relationships, travel, and career can lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment. I share a personal journey of finding my voice and assertiveness, highlighting the importance of standing up for oneself and the personal victories that follow. By celebrating wins and understanding our growth, we can better appreciate the journey and lessons learned along the way.
As we plan for the year ahead, we'll focus on self-compassion and the understanding that life is a marathon, not a sprint. Unexpected events might shift our priorities, but reassessing and recommitting to meaningful goals can propel us forward. I’ll share my passion for personal growth and hint at exciting future directions for the podcast, including a potential revisit to themes from my previous venture, Simply Seductress. Let's embrace the new year with optimism and gratitude, keeping the momentum of growth alive as we journey together into 2025.
Looking for confirmation, guidance, or support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant, or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!
Book a 30-min Discovery Session Here
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to the intuitive mentor mom podcast,
where we explore strategies forgrowing confidence, empowerment
and gaining clarity for midlifemoms.
When life is happening for youand not to you, you can be
living the life of freedom, funand bliss.
I'm your host, tara Michelle.
Let's get to it All right.
(00:23):
Welcome back to the show.
I'm so excited to be with youguys as we end where we're
nearing the end of 2024.
Can you believe that?
Because today, what we're goingto talk about today actually is
completing your 2024 andcreating 2025.
That's what we're going to talkabout, and I'm actually going to
(00:43):
give you five steps that I takepretty much every year to
complete my year, to complete myyear and to step into a new
year, and so I want to go overthis today.
But the funny thing is, as Iwas digging around in some of my
old files and looking for somethings, I actually came across.
(01:04):
Digging around in some of myold files and looking for some
things, I actually came acrossone of the pieces of paper.
It's on a piece of paper whereI created my year, and this is
back in boy, I think this is2018.
And it's really funny to seewhat's on here, because there's
a lot of things that I'veaccomplished on here, and then
there's still some things thatare on this list that I still
(01:27):
want to accomplish today, and Iget to continue that creation
right.
So first I want to just ask youknow, how did you do for those
of you that have been listeningand following along how did you
do with the exercise ofgratitude?
With the exercise of gratitude,I will say for myself, it took
(01:48):
something for me to stay ontrack, and I'm still struggling
with staying on track.
But I still do some gratitudesevery day, but not at the level
at which I'd like.
So I'm gonna up it a little bitmore and keep staying on top of
myself, cause, you know, it'svery easy to fall back into this
thought pattern or thoughtprocess of you know what are the
words.
It's very easy to begin to dothe negative self-talk when you
(02:15):
don't stay on top of something.
Or if you don't accomplishsomething at the level at which
you wanted to accomplish it,it's easy to start doing the
negative self-talk.
So, rather than do that, youjust move that out of the way.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, ego, thank you,
brain, thank you, machinery inmy head.
No, we're not doing that today.
(02:35):
We're just going to recreateand recommit.
So I'm going to talk about thattoday as well as we move into
what are some things that youcan do to powerfully close out
your 2024 and create 2025.
And I have ritually been doingthis.
(02:56):
I'm going to say close to 15,20 years, somewhere around that
time.
It's been since my.
I bet it's been 20 years.
It's been since my earlythirties, yeah, and I'm in my
fifties.
I'm in my early fifties, closeto mid fifties now.
So it's been around 20 yearsthat I've done this ritually.
(03:20):
And it's powerful because Idon't really believe in
resolutions like whatever withresolutions, how many of us are
very aware that you create aresolution?
How long does it last?
There's some kind of negativecontext inside of there and
there's something aboutresolutions really amping up
(03:41):
that negative self-talk.
It's almost like we've createdsome strange culture or
structure around.
Nobody keeps to the resolutionsand then you just end up
beating yourself up and what isthat about?
Like that's bullshit.
Sorry, I gotta say it'sbullshit.
So today I wanna share with you,as we approach these next two
(04:05):
weeks and we roll into 2025,what I do to create my new year,
but, first and foremost, tocomplete the existing year.
And how I like to complete theexisting year is really to take
time and reflect on what are thethings I have accomplished this
year, on what are the things Ihave accomplished this year.
(04:27):
Why I feel that's so importantis it's very often that we move
through our life and we tend tonot focus on all the things
we've accomplished.
We tend to focus on things thatwe don't have.
We tend to focus on things thatwe're not doing or we haven't
(04:47):
gotten to or we haven't been to.
Those are the things we tend tofocus on, the what we don't
have.
Humans innately focus on thelack.
It's a cultural thing, at leastin this world America, okay.
It's a cultural thing, at leastin this world America, okay.
So I really like to sit andreflect and take some time out,
(05:12):
whether it's a full day, an hour, five minutes, but just really.
You need more than five minutes.
It's just really time toreflect and think about what are
all the things that youaccomplished.
So I will literally start backat January.
Sometimes I'll even lookthrough my planner to even see
like things that I had you know,meetings that I had and
(05:36):
appointments that I had and I'lllook back and I'll start
scanning the year, month overmonth over month, and then I'll
jot down things that I'veaccomplished.
And as I'm scanning that year,going month through month, I'll
be like, oh, oh my God, I paidoff that bill.
Or oh my God, I went on Xamount of trips this year.
(05:56):
Oh my God, I accomplishedwhatever.
You may have accomplished aweight goal, you may have
accomplished a spiritual healinggoal, you may have accomplished
a travel goal, a financial goal, a parenting goal.
There are all kinds of thingsyou may have accomplished, ways
(06:18):
about your beingness that youweren't even aware of.
Okay, so I want you to reallythink about this.
I want you to take this on,reflect on your year and take a
look at what did I accomplishand I say I as in you, you over
there that's listening to thisshow what did you accomplish
(06:39):
this year?
What did you accomplish in thearea of your health, the area of
wealth and finances?
How about what you accomplishedspiritually?
What about in yourrelationships, whether those are
family relationships,friendships, romantic
relationships?
What did you accomplish there?
What did you accomplish withtravel?
(06:59):
If there is any?
It could be work travel, it canbe personal travel, whatever.
What did you accomplish?
What did you accomplish withcareer, career choices, career
opportunities?
What did you accomplish?
Did you accomplish peace thisyear?
(07:20):
Did you carve time out foryourself this year?
Did you spend more time withfamily, more quality time this
year?
Did you carve time out foryourself this year?
Did you spend more time withfamily, more quality time this
year?
Did you pay off debt that youwere hoping to pay off or even
more than you thought?
What is it?
And write all that down.
And once you write it down, Iwant you to really look at that
(07:44):
list and recognize just how muchyou accomplished.
Because that is the thing wedon't take the time to look at
how far we've come.
We're so busy getting caught upin the where am I not at, where
haven't I been and how am Igoing to get there.
We get so caught up in thatcycle of thought form that we
(08:09):
really forget what we'veaccomplished and how far we've
come.
Okay, that was step number one.
I want you to reflect on youryear and then I want you to
write down what did youaccomplish.
Okay, and you might find, hey,I didn't really do much this
year, but hey, maybe you did.
(08:30):
Or you might find I did so much.
I had no idea I accomplishedthat much and even write down
wins for your family.
Your family overall may haveaccomplished some wins that you
were hoping or didn't even know.
It could be this thing that youweren't even present Like, oh
my God, my child accomplishedall these things this year.
(08:52):
Okay, now step two.
I like to ask myself, and I'mgoing to ask you, how did you
grow this year?
How did you grow this year?
In the spirit of how life ishappening for you, how did you
(09:19):
grow this year?
And to give you examples of,like you might be thinking, what
do you mean?
How did I grow?
How did you grow emotionally?
How did you grow spiritually?
Did I grow?
How did you grow emotionally?
How did you grow spiritually?
How did you grow financially,if that was a goal?
How did you grow in your career?
How did you grow as a parent?
How did you grow this year?
Did you find more peace?
I have a friend who that's beenher focus.
(09:41):
Her focus has been all aboutkeeping her peace, and anything
that doesn't keep her peace shemoves it out of her life.
She's like, if it is notbringing me peace, it is out.
So now she gets to look at thisyear and say, well, how well
did I do with that for herselfas a measurement, right?
(10:02):
I'll say, for me, one of theareas that I really grew this
year was my voice, my voicestanding in my truth and really
stepping up for myself andreally saying what I needed to
say in that moment.
I had a really greatopportunity to do that today and
I found myself.
There was a comment that camethrough in a text message from
(10:25):
somebody that I was recentlyspeaking to, and there was a
comment that they made that whenI read it it literally hit me
in the solar plexus, like, oh,and it didn't feel good and I
wondered to myself, why doesn'tthat feel good?
And it just felt dishonoring.
And this person I don't knowvery well and I thought to
(10:47):
myself, I don't know that Iwould talk to somebody that way
that I didn't know because Iwould honor, want to honor and
respect who they are, because Idon't really know who they are
yet.
Honor and respect who they arebecause I don't really know who
they are yet.
So there was this feeling, butas I began to want to respond, I
found myself wanting to makelight of it, to make a joke of
(11:11):
it and to not really speak thetruth.
And the truth was it felt likea record scratch and I had no
desire to continue theconversation.
Like it was like like oh God,no, like, no.
And that wasn't the first timein the communication with this
person.
There were a few other thingsthat just when they landed, I
(11:32):
was like huh.
And so I had an opportunity toreally speak up for myself and
use my voice and rather than dothe thing I always do, which is,
oh, let's just make light of itand have it be no big deal,
like it's okay, no, it's reallynot okay.
And I got to say, you know,it's just not okay for me
(11:52):
Doesn't work, and that's not howI want to be talked to Sorry,
and that's, that's a win.
I want to be talked to Sorry,and that's that's a win.
And that's an area I reallygrew this year and it has taken
a lot of practice.
It has not been easy and youknow, there were, I think, in
the moment, hurt feelings forboth of us, but because we had a
quick phone call after that,but it was like, yeah, we're
(12:13):
just not gelling, this isn'tgelling, no, no, okay, well,
wish you the best, wish you thebest.
And, as you might be able totell, it was in the area of
romantic relationship.
But it was like, yeah, thisisn't a fit, we're not a fit,
and that's okay.
Bye.
And so that was power for me.
So when you, you look at, youknow, and that was life
(12:35):
happening for me, right, lifewas giving me these little like
okay, here's a little nugget,here's a little nugget, here's a
little nugget, do you want that?
And I was like, actually, no, I, I, I don't want that, I want
more respect and honor.
Thanks, that's what I'm goingto bring into my life.
So, how did you grow?
Okay, step two, that's whatthat was.
Okay.
(12:55):
Now, working into step threewhat area did you see the most
growth in?
Where did you see yourself growthe most?
What did life look like thisyear where you saw the most
growth?
One of the other areas where Isaw a lot of growth for myself
was my temperament, my abilityto keep my cool and to diffuse
(13:17):
myself in the area of parenting,instead of going to that place
of like zero to 60 and I'm goingto bitch you out right now,
really breathing in and thinkingabout, do I want to make light
of this right now, because maybeI do want to bring humor to
this moment or is there a waythat I can be differently,
(13:38):
instead of popping off andexploding Like?
Those were areas I really tookto heart this year, because I'm
dealing with a teenager now, I'mnot dealing with a
five-year-old or a six-year-old,which I shouldn't have popped
off then.
But and I honestly my kid, Imean he has seen me go off, but
not really Like I mean, a coupleof times in his life has he
(13:59):
seen me really lose my shit.
But for the most part, I'malways really managing my
behavior.
But even at a whole new level,because I do believe when
working with teenagers andyou're parenting them, it's a
different space because theyhave a lot of their own voice
(14:21):
and opinion and they use it inways that are like okay, okay,
and so I too need to come intothe conversation different and I
like that about myself and Ilike that about the relationship
I have with my son.
We have an incrediblerelationship and it keeps
(14:41):
turning into this space that I'mblown away all the time and he
keeps showing me.
He shows me who I've grown tobe because he reflects.
How do I say this?
He has become a reflection ofmy own personal growth in that
(15:02):
area, and what I mean by that ishow he's able to communicate
with me and how he bringshimself to me, and how he
presents certain conversationsor brings up certain
conversations, as well as whenhe says absolutely no to certain
conversations, and I'm proud ofthat, because he is learning to
(15:23):
use his voice, and that is areflection of the work that not
only I've done, but he's donetoo.
And so these are the areas likewhere did you see the most
growth for yourself in this year?
And again, look from thatcontext of life's happening for
you, not to you.
So how did you show up for that?
(15:43):
Now, step four.
Now, this is a tricky one, andthis is one I don't like to get
too hung up on, because this isone of those spots where you
could go into the negativeself-talk.
Okay, and so step four I lookat what didn't I accomplish this
year that I had set out toaccomplish.
(16:03):
The funny thing is, as Imentioned, this sheet of paper
that I found that has a bunch ofthings that I wanted to create
back in 2018.
And at the top it says allthings are possible now, and I
wrote needs, wants and desiresand then I bullet pointed
everything on this list and thenat the end I said I expect it
(16:26):
already done.
Okay, the fascinating thing isthere are so many things on this
list that are gone, that aredone, that are accomplished, and
then there's quite a few thingson this list that I still, as I
said earlier, have notaccomplished, and I'm okay with
that.
I'm okay with that because lifeis not a marathon.
(16:49):
It's not a marathon.
It is a marathon.
Life is not a sprint.
Okay, life is not a sprint, itis a marathon and, as you
remember, the tortoise won therace, not the hare.
So I also like to reflect andsay, okay, so what were the
things that I had on my listlast year?
And I'll take a look at thatlist.
(17:10):
Usually, I'll take a look at itand say, okay, what did I want,
what did I write down, what didI create and what didn't I
accomplish on that list?
And all I do is recommit.
I don't go down the negativeself-talk.
Now, there might be some areasor some things that I didn't
accomplish that I might take alook at and say, okay, so what
had me not accomplished that?
(17:31):
Was it something in my behavior?
Was it something in my planning?
Was it something that it justlike it, just wasn't going to
happen this year because therewere all kinds of other
circumstances that aligned thatwas not going to allow that to
happen this year?
It could be a number of things.
I wasn't expecting to be laidoff this year, wasn't expecting
that, and I got laid off thisyear and that dramatically
(17:53):
shifted yeah, dramaticallyshifted.
It dramatically shifted some ofthe things that I had lined up
for this year as things that Iwanted to accomplish.
Things had to be rearranged andchanged and so, rather than go
down this negative self-talk of,oh, I didn't get it, no, I
didn't do it, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(18:14):
Oh well, I didn't get that donethis year, okay, so now it's
going to go on to the 2025 list,maybe, if that's something I
still want to accomplish.
So, remember, life is a marathon, it's not a sprint.
There's no hurry, there's norush, because, also, when we
(18:35):
rush, we miss the beauty in thegap.
Remember, if you go back toepisode one, when I talk about
you know being in the gap oflife, that being in the gap when
you're in the in-between ofthings.
That's where all the goldenjuicy nuggets are.
Now, there are golden juicynuggets inside of the win or the
(18:59):
accomplishment there absolutelyis, but those really gleaming
golden, just like the golden egg.
That stuff is in the gap andwhen we are running through the
gap, we're missing out on thingsthat really need to be looked
at, need to be explored, need tobe felt, need to be dealt with,
(19:23):
need to be cherished, need tobe honored, need to be held and
processed.
So those are things to explorewhen you're looking at what
didn't I accomplish, that I wantto go ahead and take on again
for this following year and,like I said, you don't have to
(19:44):
take it on if you don't want to.
You could say you know what,I'm going to change that one,
I'm going to change that goal.
So, step five what are you mostproud of?
When it comes to what you'veaccomplished, what are you most
proud of?
I will say this I'm reallyproud of how far I've come in
(20:09):
the area of self-worth and myvoice and really learning who I
am as a woman of power, as awoman who's really stepping
deeper into her space offemininity, embracing that at a
new level, stepping into mypower.
(20:32):
As a woman, like I'm still asingle mom.
I've been single for 10 years.
I hold a career, I hold, youknow, I hold a mortgage and I
raise my son by myself.
Yeah, I've come a long way thisyear in ways of being, in ways
(20:54):
of looking at myself and how Icarry myself.
How do I say this?
How I carry myself not only inthe world, but I'll fall back on
this again.
Romantic relationships Isometimes think I need to start
moving my podcast more towardsromantic relationships, because
(21:16):
it's an area that I really enjoy.
It's an area that I know a lotabout through personal
experience and just things and,truth be known, it's a passion.
At one point, I had a businesscalled Simply Seductress where I
worked with women and we.
It was a movement class and itwas through pole dancing and it
(21:39):
was a lot of fun and I workedwith women in with self-image,
self-image and self bodyconsciousness.
It was when I was living in LosAngeles.
A lot of women were actresses.
Body consciousness it was whenI was living in Los Angeles.
A lot of women were actressesor actors.
I think they'd like to becalled actors nowadays, but it
was a really great course andand oh, I lost my train of
(22:01):
thought.
Where was I going with that?
Oh, I was talking about movingin the direction of romantic
relationships and that that'sactually a passion of mine, and
I know what I was saying.
So I used to teach the classes,simply Seductress, and I had
these workshops.
They were a lot of fun.
But what my commitment was atthat time?
At that time I was reallystanding that through the work
(22:24):
that I did and through how Igave back to women that it would
decrease the divorce rate by40%, that was my world
commitment and my world vision.
I wanted people to be able tofind that true connection within
(22:48):
themselves, that true authenticvoice within themselves, and
then be able to stand in thatcreation of being put together
or not put together, butattracting their authentic,
passionate play partner in life.
And so maybe I'm still verycommitted to that.
It just looks different and Ihave been on a really long deep
(23:12):
dive journey of romanticrelationships and really
understanding self and othersand that dance and finding
self-respect, self-love, notonly for self but also for
others, and helping others seethat within themselves.
So sometimes I think that mightbe the direction that this
(23:33):
podcast goes, but right now,right now we're just kind of
moving along as we're moving.
So, anyways, let me get back onpoint here, because I got a
little derailed there and, forwhatever reason, I was supposed
to share that.
So I'm putting it out thereinto the universe and if people
want to respond back, if that'sthings you want to hear and
listen and talk about and talk,you know, talk to me about cause
(23:55):
, oh my God, I have more people.
I think people come to mealmost daily for coaching on
romantic relationships.
It's wild and more and more menstarting to come and I'm like,
why is this happening?
But you know, life is happeningfor us, not to us, so just
listening.
So, anyways, back to step five.
What are you most proud of whenit comes to what you've
(24:16):
accomplished?
And I really want you to take alook at, when you look at what
you've accomplished for thisyear, really think about what
are you most wowed by, what areyou most like?
Wow, I accomplished that.
What are you most proud of?
And then, how would youcelebrate you?
How would you celebrate you?
How would you celebrate thatwin?
(24:39):
I know, for me, sometimes Ilike to celebrate a win, like
simply going and doing somethingreally nice for myself, whether
it's getting myself a massage,whether it's just looking myself
in the mirror and telling mehow much I love me and just
really getting like who I am formyself.
And it's called being work,actually, if you can be with
(25:01):
yourself in the mirror andthat's like you just be in the
mirror and just look deep intoyour eyes and just be with that
beautiful soul, celebrate youbecause you're incredible and
you matter and you're awesomeand you're amazing and
everything you do makes adifference.
Everything you do makes adifference.
(25:21):
It impacts the world in waysyou have no idea, and that's why
it's really important to reallybe aware of who are you in this
world and how do you impactothers, because you really do
make a difference.
So, whoever's listening to this, you make a difference and you
matter and you're important.
And 2025 is your year, becausenow, after you've done these
(25:45):
steps, now is the time that youbegin to create your 2025.
And what you want to do, that'sstep six, but I don't really
call it a step.
That's like just you just getto it.
Create your year, write it down, what are the things you want
to accomplish, collage it.
And when you collage it, feelinto it, Dance it, turn on music
(26:11):
that turns you on and be withit, sing it.
What do you want to create?
What do you want to build?
Who are you in 2025?
And then relish and just be inthat feeling of what that year
is going to look like for you,really.
(26:33):
So that's what I want to leaveyou with.
This is a special time.
This was a big year for many.
We moved through many spacesglobally.
We've moved through many spacesas a country and we're moving
through many spaces asindividual human beings at a
very what do you want to say?
(26:56):
A very tumultuous time inhistory.
Like wow, we are witnessingthings that will be put into
history books like no joke, okay.
And who do you want to be thisyear?
Who will you get to be?
Because you say so, this lifeis happening for you.
(27:19):
Create it, be it, live it,collage it, love it, sing it,
praise it, because you matter,and I want to thank each and
every one of you who has been onthis journey with me this year.
This was the first year of mypodcast and I'm looking forward
(27:43):
to the things that I get to dowith this podcast and expanding
this next year.
I'm enjoying what I do.
I love being here and sharing,and I love those of you who have
reached out to me, those of youwho have shared wins.
I know some people have reachedout in various ways and I just
(28:05):
want to say thank you and I hopethat you enjoyed the last
episode where I did the coachingcall with Nina was really fun
and cool.
And, for those of you who areinterested in possibly working
with me or would like to consultand see if it's something you
want to explore, remember thereis a link below.
So I want to wish all of you amagical, amazing, mystical,
(28:30):
exciting 2025.
And thank you so much again forall the love and support.
I'm excited to create what'snext and I wish you all a Merry
Christmas, happy Kwanzaa, happyHanukkah oh my gosh, I don't
even know what are all the otherholidays Happy, happy holidays.
(28:54):
I'm sure I'm missing somethingand wishing a merry, happy
holiday to that, but I reallywant to just celebrate all of us
and wishing you all the bestlove on your families, be with
your friends.
However you choose to celebrateand bring in this new year, it's
going to be a beautiful one,all right, I look forward to
(29:16):
seeing you on the next show, Iwill have some more coaching
sessions coming up, so keep alookout for that.
And we're going to talk aboutsome more gratitude in the next,
in the up and coming shows, andwe're going to talk about, you
know, once we create this newyear, what then?
What next?
Once we create this new year,what then?
What next?
What are we going to do?
So I look forward to seeing youguys on the next show.
Have a blessed and beautifulday.
Thanks and take care.
(29:36):
Thank you for coming on thishealing adventure today.
If you're starting to see howeverything is falling into place
for you, consider rating theshow and sharing it with one of
your friends.
Keep that spirit alive and joinme next week.
Same place, same time.
Have a great week.
Welcome back to the intuitive mentor mom podcast,
where we explore strategies forgrowing confidence, empowerment
and gaining clarity for midlifemoms.
When life is happening for youand not to you, you can be
living the life of freedom, funand bliss.
I'm your host, tara Michelle.
Let's get to it All right.
(00:23):
Welcome back to the show.
I'm so excited to be with youguys as we end where we're
nearing the end of 2024.
Can you believe that?
Because today, what we're goingto talk about today actually is
completing your 2024 andcreating 2025.
That's what we're going to talkabout, and I'm actually going to
(00:43):
give you five steps that I takepretty much every year to
complete my year, to complete myyear and to step into a new
year, and so I want to go overthis today.
But the funny thing is, as Iwas digging around in some of my
old files and looking for somethings, I actually came across.
(01:04):
Digging around in some of myold files and looking for some
things, I actually came acrossone of the pieces of paper.
It's on a piece of paper whereI created my year, and this is
back in boy, I think this is2018.
And it's really funny to seewhat's on here, because there's
a lot of things that I'veaccomplished on here, and then
there's still some things thatare on this list that I still
(01:27):
want to accomplish today, and Iget to continue that creation
right.
So first I want to just ask youknow, how did you do for those
of you that have been listeningand following along how did you
do with the exercise ofgratitude?
With the exercise of gratitude,I will say for myself, it took
(01:48):
something for me to stay ontrack, and I'm still struggling
with staying on track.
But I still do some gratitudesevery day, but not at the level
at which I'd like.
So I'm gonna up it a little bitmore and keep staying on top of
myself, cause, you know, it'svery easy to fall back into this
thought pattern or thoughtprocess of you know what are the
words.
It's very easy to begin to dothe negative self-talk when you
(02:15):
don't stay on top of something.
Or if you don't accomplishsomething at the level at which
you wanted to accomplish it,it's easy to start doing the
negative self-talk.
So, rather than do that, youjust move that out of the way.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, ego, thank you,
brain, thank you, machinery inmy head.
No, we're not doing that today.
(02:35):
We're just going to recreateand recommit.
So I'm going to talk about thattoday as well as we move into
what are some things that youcan do to powerfully close out
your 2024 and create 2025.
And I have ritually been doingthis.
(02:56):
I'm going to say close to 15,20 years, somewhere around that
time.
It's been since my.
I bet it's been 20 years.
It's been since my earlythirties, yeah, and I'm in my
fifties.
I'm in my early fifties, closeto mid fifties now.
So it's been around 20 yearsthat I've done this ritually.
(03:20):
And it's powerful because Idon't really believe in
resolutions like whatever withresolutions, how many of us are
very aware that you create aresolution?
How long does it last?
There's some kind of negativecontext inside of there and
there's something aboutresolutions really amping up
(03:41):
that negative self-talk.
It's almost like we've createdsome strange culture or
structure around.
Nobody keeps to the resolutionsand then you just end up
beating yourself up and what isthat about?
Like that's bullshit.
Sorry, I gotta say it'sbullshit.
So today I wanna share with you,as we approach these next two
(04:05):
weeks and we roll into 2025,what I do to create my new year,
but, first and foremost, tocomplete the existing year.
And how I like to complete theexisting year is really to take
time and reflect on what are thethings I have accomplished this
year, on what are the things Ihave accomplished this year.
(04:27):
Why I feel that's so importantis it's very often that we move
through our life and we tend tonot focus on all the things
we've accomplished.
We tend to focus on things thatwe don't have.
We tend to focus on things thatwe're not doing or we haven't
(04:47):
gotten to or we haven't been to.
Those are the things we tend tofocus on, the what we don't
have.
Humans innately focus on thelack.
It's a cultural thing, at leastin this world America, okay.
It's a cultural thing, at leastin this world America, okay.
So I really like to sit andreflect and take some time out,
(05:12):
whether it's a full day, an hour, five minutes, but just really.
You need more than five minutes.
It's just really time toreflect and think about what are
all the things that youaccomplished.
So I will literally start backat January.
Sometimes I'll even lookthrough my planner to even see
like things that I had you know,meetings that I had and
(05:36):
appointments that I had and I'lllook back and I'll start
scanning the year, month overmonth over month, and then I'll
jot down things that I'veaccomplished.
And as I'm scanning that year,going month through month, I'll
be like, oh, oh my God, I paidoff that bill.
Or oh my God, I went on Xamount of trips this year.
(05:56):
Oh my God, I accomplishedwhatever.
You may have accomplished aweight goal, you may have
accomplished a spiritual healinggoal, you may have accomplished
a travel goal, a financial goal, a parenting goal.
There are all kinds of thingsyou may have accomplished, ways
(06:18):
about your beingness that youweren't even aware of.
Okay, so I want you to reallythink about this.
I want you to take this on,reflect on your year and take a
look at what did I accomplishand I say I as in you, you over
there that's listening to thisshow what did you accomplish
(06:39):
this year?
What did you accomplish in thearea of your health, the area of
wealth and finances?
How about what you accomplishedspiritually?
What about in yourrelationships, whether those are
family relationships,friendships, romantic
relationships?
What did you accomplish there?
What did you accomplish withtravel?
(06:59):
If there is any?
It could be work travel, it canbe personal travel, whatever.
What did you accomplish?
What did you accomplish withcareer, career choices, career
opportunities?
What did you accomplish?
Did you accomplish peace thisyear?
(07:20):
Did you carve time out foryourself this year?
Did you spend more time withfamily, more quality time this
year?
Did you carve time out foryourself this year?
Did you spend more time withfamily, more quality time this
year?
Did you pay off debt that youwere hoping to pay off or even
more than you thought?
What is it?
And write all that down.
And once you write it down, Iwant you to really look at that
(07:44):
list and recognize just how muchyou accomplished.
Because that is the thing wedon't take the time to look at
how far we've come.
We're so busy getting caught upin the where am I not at, where
haven't I been and how am Igoing to get there.
We get so caught up in thatcycle of thought form that we
(08:09):
really forget what we'veaccomplished and how far we've
come.
Okay, that was step number one.
I want you to reflect on youryear and then I want you to
write down what did youaccomplish.
Okay, and you might find, hey,I didn't really do much this
year, but hey, maybe you did.
(08:30):
Or you might find I did so much.
I had no idea I accomplishedthat much and even write down
wins for your family.
Your family overall may haveaccomplished some wins that you
were hoping or didn't even know.
It could be this thing that youweren't even present Like, oh
my God, my child accomplishedall these things this year.
(08:52):
Okay, now step two.
I like to ask myself, and I'mgoing to ask you, how did you
grow this year?
How did you grow this year?
In the spirit of how life ishappening for you, how did you
(09:19):
grow this year?
And to give you examples of,like you might be thinking, what
do you mean?
How did I grow?
How did you grow emotionally?
How did you grow spiritually?
Did I grow?
How did you grow emotionally?
How did you grow spiritually?
How did you grow financially,if that was a goal?
How did you grow in your career?
How did you grow as a parent?
How did you grow this year?
Did you find more peace?
I have a friend who that's beenher focus.
(09:41):
Her focus has been all aboutkeeping her peace, and anything
that doesn't keep her peace shemoves it out of her life.
She's like, if it is notbringing me peace, it is out.
So now she gets to look at thisyear and say, well, how well
did I do with that for herselfas a measurement, right?
(10:02):
I'll say, for me, one of theareas that I really grew this
year was my voice, my voicestanding in my truth and really
stepping up for myself andreally saying what I needed to
say in that moment.
I had a really greatopportunity to do that today and
I found myself.
There was a comment that camethrough in a text message from
(10:25):
somebody that I was recentlyspeaking to, and there was a
comment that they made that whenI read it it literally hit me
in the solar plexus, like, oh,and it didn't feel good and I
wondered to myself, why doesn'tthat feel good?
And it just felt dishonoring.
And this person I don't knowvery well and I thought to
(10:47):
myself, I don't know that Iwould talk to somebody that way
that I didn't know because Iwould honor, want to honor and
respect who they are, because Idon't really know who they are
yet.
Honor and respect who they arebecause I don't really know who
they are yet.
So there was this feeling, butas I began to want to respond, I
found myself wanting to makelight of it, to make a joke of
(11:11):
it and to not really speak thetruth.
And the truth was it felt likea record scratch and I had no
desire to continue theconversation.
Like it was like like oh God,no, like, no.
And that wasn't the first timein the communication with this
person.
There were a few other thingsthat just when they landed, I
(11:32):
was like huh.
And so I had an opportunity toreally speak up for myself and
use my voice and rather than dothe thing I always do, which is,
oh, let's just make light of itand have it be no big deal,
like it's okay, no, it's reallynot okay.
And I got to say, you know,it's just not okay for me
(11:52):
Doesn't work, and that's not howI want to be talked to Sorry,
and that's, that's a win.
I want to be talked to Sorry,and that's that's a win.
And that's an area I reallygrew this year and it has taken
a lot of practice.
It has not been easy and youknow, there were, I think, in
the moment, hurt feelings forboth of us, but because we had a
quick phone call after that,but it was like, yeah, we're
(12:13):
just not gelling, this isn'tgelling, no, no, okay, well,
wish you the best, wish you thebest.
And, as you might be able totell, it was in the area of
romantic relationship.
But it was like, yeah, thisisn't a fit, we're not a fit,
and that's okay.
Bye.
And so that was power for me.
So when you, you look at, youknow, and that was life
(12:35):
happening for me, right, lifewas giving me these little like
okay, here's a little nugget,here's a little nugget, here's a
little nugget, do you want that?
And I was like, actually, no, I, I, I don't want that, I want
more respect and honor.
Thanks, that's what I'm goingto bring into my life.
So, how did you grow?
Okay, step two, that's whatthat was.
Okay.
(12:55):
Now, working into step threewhat area did you see the most
growth in?
Where did you see yourself growthe most?
What did life look like thisyear where you saw the most
growth?
One of the other areas where Isaw a lot of growth for myself
was my temperament, my abilityto keep my cool and to diffuse
(13:17):
myself in the area of parenting,instead of going to that place
of like zero to 60 and I'm goingto bitch you out right now,
really breathing in and thinkingabout, do I want to make light
of this right now, because maybeI do want to bring humor to
this moment or is there a waythat I can be differently,
(13:38):
instead of popping off andexploding Like?
Those were areas I really tookto heart this year, because I'm
dealing with a teenager now, I'mnot dealing with a
five-year-old or a six-year-old,which I shouldn't have popped
off then.
But and I honestly my kid, Imean he has seen me go off, but
not really Like I mean, a coupleof times in his life has he
(13:59):
seen me really lose my shit.
But for the most part, I'malways really managing my
behavior.
But even at a whole new level,because I do believe when
working with teenagers andyou're parenting them, it's a
different space because theyhave a lot of their own voice
(14:21):
and opinion and they use it inways that are like okay, okay,
and so I too need to come intothe conversation different and I
like that about myself and Ilike that about the relationship
I have with my son.
We have an incrediblerelationship and it keeps
(14:41):
turning into this space that I'mblown away all the time and he
keeps showing me.
He shows me who I've grown tobe because he reflects.
How do I say this?
He has become a reflection ofmy own personal growth in that
(15:02):
area, and what I mean by that ishow he's able to communicate
with me and how he bringshimself to me, and how he
presents certain conversationsor brings up certain
conversations, as well as whenhe says absolutely no to certain
conversations, and I'm proud ofthat, because he is learning to
(15:23):
use his voice, and that is areflection of the work that not
only I've done, but he's donetoo.
And so these are the areas likewhere did you see the most
growth for yourself in this year?
And again, look from thatcontext of life's happening for
you, not to you.
So how did you show up for that?
(15:43):
Now, step four.
Now, this is a tricky one, andthis is one I don't like to get
too hung up on, because this isone of those spots where you
could go into the negativeself-talk.
Okay, and so step four I lookat what didn't I accomplish this
year that I had set out toaccomplish.
(16:03):
The funny thing is, as Imentioned, this sheet of paper
that I found that has a bunch ofthings that I wanted to create
back in 2018.
And at the top it says allthings are possible now, and I
wrote needs, wants and desiresand then I bullet pointed
everything on this list and thenat the end I said I expect it
(16:26):
already done.
Okay, the fascinating thing isthere are so many things on this
list that are gone, that aredone, that are accomplished, and
then there's quite a few thingson this list that I still, as I
said earlier, have notaccomplished, and I'm okay with
that.
I'm okay with that because lifeis not a marathon.
(16:49):
It's not a marathon.
It is a marathon.
Life is not a sprint.
Okay, life is not a sprint, itis a marathon and, as you
remember, the tortoise won therace, not the hare.
So I also like to reflect andsay, okay, so what were the
things that I had on my listlast year?
And I'll take a look at thatlist.
(17:10):
Usually, I'll take a look at itand say, okay, what did I want,
what did I write down, what didI create and what didn't I
accomplish on that list?
And all I do is recommit.
I don't go down the negativeself-talk.
Now, there might be some areasor some things that I didn't
accomplish that I might take alook at and say, okay, so what
had me not accomplished that?
(17:31):
Was it something in my behavior?
Was it something in my planning?
Was it something that it justlike it, just wasn't going to
happen this year because therewere all kinds of other
circumstances that aligned thatwas not going to allow that to
happen this year?
It could be a number of things.
I wasn't expecting to be laidoff this year, wasn't expecting
that, and I got laid off thisyear and that dramatically
(17:53):
shifted yeah, dramaticallyshifted.
It dramatically shifted some ofthe things that I had lined up
for this year as things that Iwanted to accomplish.
Things had to be rearranged andchanged and so, rather than go
down this negative self-talk of,oh, I didn't get it, no, I
didn't do it, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(18:14):
Oh well, I didn't get that donethis year, okay, so now it's
going to go on to the 2025 list,maybe, if that's something I
still want to accomplish.
So, remember, life is a marathon, it's not a sprint.
There's no hurry, there's norush, because, also, when we
(18:35):
rush, we miss the beauty in thegap.
Remember, if you go back toepisode one, when I talk about
you know being in the gap oflife, that being in the gap when
you're in the in-between ofthings.
That's where all the goldenjuicy nuggets are.
Now, there are golden juicynuggets inside of the win or the
(18:59):
accomplishment there absolutelyis, but those really gleaming
golden, just like the golden egg.
That stuff is in the gap andwhen we are running through the
gap, we're missing out on thingsthat really need to be looked
at, need to be explored, need tobe felt, need to be dealt with,
(19:23):
need to be cherished, need tobe honored, need to be held and
processed.
So those are things to explorewhen you're looking at what
didn't I accomplish, that I wantto go ahead and take on again
for this following year and,like I said, you don't have to
(19:44):
take it on if you don't want to.
You could say you know what,I'm going to change that one,
I'm going to change that goal.
So, step five what are you mostproud of?
When it comes to what you'veaccomplished, what are you most
proud of?
I will say this I'm reallyproud of how far I've come in
(20:09):
the area of self-worth and myvoice and really learning who I
am as a woman of power, as awoman who's really stepping
deeper into her space offemininity, embracing that at a
new level, stepping into mypower.
(20:32):
As a woman, like I'm still asingle mom.
I've been single for 10 years.
I hold a career, I hold, youknow, I hold a mortgage and I
raise my son by myself.
Yeah, I've come a long way thisyear in ways of being, in ways
(20:54):
of looking at myself and how Icarry myself.
How do I say this?
How I carry myself not only inthe world, but I'll fall back on
this again.
Romantic relationships Isometimes think I need to start
moving my podcast more towardsromantic relationships, because
(21:16):
it's an area that I really enjoy.
It's an area that I know a lotabout through personal
experience and just things and,truth be known, it's a passion.
At one point, I had a businesscalled Simply Seductress where I
worked with women and we.
It was a movement class and itwas through pole dancing and it
(21:39):
was a lot of fun and I workedwith women in with self-image,
self-image and self bodyconsciousness.
It was when I was living in LosAngeles.
A lot of women were actresses.
Body consciousness it was whenI was living in Los Angeles.
A lot of women were actressesor actors.
I think they'd like to becalled actors nowadays, but it
was a really great course andand oh, I lost my train of
(22:01):
thought.
Where was I going with that?
Oh, I was talking about movingin the direction of romantic
relationships and that that'sactually a passion of mine, and
I know what I was saying.
So I used to teach the classes,simply Seductress, and I had
these workshops.
They were a lot of fun.
But what my commitment was atthat time?
At that time I was reallystanding that through the work
(22:24):
that I did and through how Igave back to women that it would
decrease the divorce rate by40%, that was my world
commitment and my world vision.
I wanted people to be able tofind that true connection within
(22:48):
themselves, that true authenticvoice within themselves, and
then be able to stand in thatcreation of being put together
or not put together, butattracting their authentic,
passionate play partner in life.
And so maybe I'm still verycommitted to that.
It just looks different and Ihave been on a really long deep
(23:12):
dive journey of romanticrelationships and really
understanding self and othersand that dance and finding
self-respect, self-love, notonly for self but also for
others, and helping others seethat within themselves.
So sometimes I think that mightbe the direction that this
(23:33):
podcast goes, but right now,right now we're just kind of
moving along as we're moving.
So, anyways, let me get back onpoint here, because I got a
little derailed there and, forwhatever reason, I was supposed
to share that.
So I'm putting it out thereinto the universe and if people
want to respond back, if that'sthings you want to hear and
listen and talk about and talk,you know, talk to me about cause
(23:55):
, oh my God, I have more people.
I think people come to mealmost daily for coaching on
romantic relationships.
It's wild and more and more menstarting to come and I'm like,
why is this happening?
But you know, life is happeningfor us, not to us, so just
listening.
So, anyways, back to step five.
What are you most proud of whenit comes to what you've
(24:16):
accomplished?
And I really want you to take alook at, when you look at what
you've accomplished for thisyear, really think about what
are you most wowed by, what areyou most like?
Wow, I accomplished that.
What are you most proud of?
And then, how would youcelebrate you?
How would you celebrate you?
How would you celebrate thatwin?
(24:39):
I know, for me, sometimes Ilike to celebrate a win, like
simply going and doing somethingreally nice for myself, whether
it's getting myself a massage,whether it's just looking myself
in the mirror and telling mehow much I love me and just
really getting like who I am formyself.
And it's called being work,actually, if you can be with
(25:01):
yourself in the mirror andthat's like you just be in the
mirror and just look deep intoyour eyes and just be with that
beautiful soul, celebrate youbecause you're incredible and
you matter and you're awesomeand you're amazing and
everything you do makes adifference.
Everything you do makes adifference.
(25:21):
It impacts the world in waysyou have no idea, and that's why
it's really important to reallybe aware of who are you in this
world and how do you impactothers, because you really do
make a difference.
So, whoever's listening to this, you make a difference and you
matter and you're important.
And 2025 is your year, becausenow, after you've done these
(25:45):
steps, now is the time that youbegin to create your 2025.
And what you want to do, that'sstep six, but I don't really
call it a step.
That's like just you just getto it.
Create your year, write it down, what are the things you want
to accomplish, collage it.
And when you collage it, feelinto it, Dance it, turn on music
(26:11):
that turns you on and be withit, sing it.
What do you want to create?
What do you want to build?
Who are you in 2025?
And then relish and just be inthat feeling of what that year
is going to look like for you,really.
(26:33):
So that's what I want to leaveyou with.
This is a special time.
This was a big year for many.
We moved through many spacesglobally.
We've moved through many spacesas a country and we're moving
through many spaces asindividual human beings at a
very what do you want to say?
(26:56):
A very tumultuous time inhistory.
Like wow, we are witnessingthings that will be put into
history books like no joke, okay.
And who do you want to be thisyear?
Who will you get to be?
Because you say so, this lifeis happening for you.
(27:19):
Create it, be it, live it,collage it, love it, sing it,
praise it, because you matter,and I want to thank each and
every one of you who has been onthis journey with me this year.
This was the first year of mypodcast and I'm looking forward
(27:43):
to the things that I get to dowith this podcast and expanding
this next year.
I'm enjoying what I do.
I love being here and sharing,and I love those of you who have
reached out to me, those of youwho have shared wins.
I know some people have reachedout in various ways and I just
(28:05):
want to say thank you and I hopethat you enjoyed the last
episode where I did the coachingcall with Nina was really fun
and cool.
And, for those of you who areinterested in possibly working
with me or would like to consultand see if it's something you
want to explore, remember thereis a link below.
So I want to wish all of you amagical, amazing, mystical,
(28:30):
exciting 2025.
And thank you so much again forall the love and support.
I'm excited to create what'snext and I wish you all a Merry
Christmas, happy Kwanzaa, happyHanukkah oh my gosh, I don't
even know what are all the otherholidays Happy, happy holidays.
(28:54):
I'm sure I'm missing somethingand wishing a merry, happy
holiday to that, but I reallywant to just celebrate all of us
and wishing you all the bestlove on your families, be with
your friends.
However you choose to celebrateand bring in this new year, it's
going to be a beautiful one,all right, I look forward to
(29:16):
seeing you on the next show, Iwill have some more coaching
sessions coming up, so keep alookout for that.
And we're going to talk aboutsome more gratitude in the next,
in the up and coming shows, andwe're going to talk about, you
know, once we create this newyear, what then?
What next?
Once we create this new year,what then?
What next?
What are we going to do?
So I look forward to seeing youguys on the next show.
Have a blessed and beautifulday.
Thanks and take care.
(29:36):
Thank you for coming on thishealing adventure today.
If you're starting to see howeverything is falling into place
for you, consider rating theshow and sharing it with one of
your friends.
Keep that spirit alive and joinme next week.
Same place, same time.
Have a great week.
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