February 2, 2025 • 45 mins
In this enriching podcast, we explore the journey of an anonymous client navigating complex relationship dynamics through intuitive coaching. She seeks to uncover emotional blocks and redefine her sense of worthiness in love and friendships.
Explore the intricate dance of unspoken desires and fears within relationships, and uncover how they shape our connections. We dissect the emotional layers of a seemingly confident individual, revealing the inner fear and vulnerability masked by outward bravado. By understanding the strategies used to guard true feelings, you’ll gain insights into cultivating healthier, more authentic relationships. Tune in for a journey of empowerment and clarity, where hidden emotions are brought to light, paving the way for deeper, more meaningful bonds.
• Introduction to the coaching session
• Overview of different healing modalities
• Exploring heart blocks and emotional barriers
• The impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships
• Navigating feelings of inadequacy and self-worth
• Insight into how relationships mirror personal growth
• Encouragement for listeners to seek their own healing
Consider scheduling a discovery session with Tara if you're feeling stuck or need clarity in your life.
Looking for confirmation, guidance, or support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant, or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!
Book a 30-min Discovery Session Here
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to the intuitive mentor mom podcast,
where we explore strategies forgrowing confidence, empowerment
and gaining clarity for midlifemoms.
When life is happening for youand not to you, you can be
living the life of freedom, funand bliss.
I'm your host, tara Michelle.
Let's get to it.
(00:22):
Welcome back y'all to the show.
Intuitive mentor mom.
My name is Tara Michelle.
Let's get to it.
Welcome back y'all to the show.
Intuitive Mentor Mom.
My name is Tara Michelle.
I'm excited to be with youtoday.
This next episode.
This is a.
You know, I was going to sayit's a quick episode.
It's not a quick episode, it'sa shortened episode.
How about that?
This episode is about a coachingsession I did with a client and
(00:47):
she was open to allowing me toshare because I want to share
with people a little bit of thework that I do and how I work
with people, as I've shared inthe past.
For those of you who are new, Iam certified in a number of
modalities, so one of the thingsI'm certified in is quantum
healing hypnosis, which is atype of past life regression,
which is a lot of fun.
(01:07):
I don't do a lot of thosesessions anymore, but I do have
the capability of seeing intopast lives when I'm working with
people individually, and soanother method that I do is body
regeneration method, similar tothe only thing I can say that
it's similar to is Reiki.
What I like about it is theenergy moves a lot faster.
(01:28):
So I've been doing that forabout seven years now, certified
in that, and what I do when I'mworking with people is I take a
combination of all themodalities that I've either
learned or am certified in and Iuse those during the session.
I'm highly intuitive, have thecapability and ability to see
future, past, present situations, to read energies, to look at
(01:51):
various things going on withpeople in their lives in all
areas.
I also have the ability to talkto people that are on the other
side.
So sometimes that will comethrough, messages will come
through, messages will comethrough.
But I wanted to share some ofthe sessions on here as well
people who are open and willingto so that you can get a sense
of how I work.
This particular session was verylong.
It was over two hours long.
(02:13):
I went ahead and just shortenedit.
I cut a portion of it out andit gives you a sense of the
various areas that we worked onwith this individual.
She did not want to share hername.
She was fine sharing her voice,but not her name and sorry,
you're going to hear my dogs inthe background, sorry.
So we looked at what thisparticular situation is.
(02:38):
Around a romantic relationshipand a friend relationship.
There were blocks around theheart that we had to look at.
We had to look at some truththat was being avoided.
We had to look at what wouldmake her feel free in her
situation.
So there were a number ofthings that we moved through in
this conversation, but it'llgive you a sense of how I work.
(03:01):
This particular session, as Imentioned, took a while.
A lot of times when I work withpeople, I do hour long sessions
.
This was a little differentbecause of what I was working on
in terms of a project and thisperson stepped up to take part
in that.
So I'm going to go ahead andlet you listen to this next
section or I should say yeah,section of the session, and
(03:26):
you'll hear how we work together, things she moved through
Towards the end.
I did a lot of bodyregeneration method, which you
won't hear in the section that Itook, but I did a lot of
unplugging.
We had a lot of removal blocksremovals to to take out of the
space the energetic field.
(03:47):
We had some work to do on herheart.
We had to look at how thesepeople showing up her life, how
they were reflecting aspects ofher and in areas of childhood
trauma that she needed to workon.
So it was an interestingsession.
I'm going to go ahead and leaveit here and then I will see you
on the other side, and thanksfor being with us.
(04:07):
I'm going to do I just want todo a quick alignment.
So I was doing a little bit ofwork before we got on this call,
but I want to.
What I'm going to do is I'mgoing to pull up all my unknown
resistance, hesitation andinterference energy from me to
you and you to me, and pullingit all up from this experience
today so that you hold on.
(04:28):
I'm going to pull it all up andI want to collapse it out.
This thing is in my way, but Igot to talk into it.
Stay over here, okay.
So let me pull this up.
Not an unknown interferenceenergy is from myself to her,
her to me, energy is from myselfto her and her to me, and
(04:49):
sometimes I burp, yawn as energyis being pulled out, and so I'm
going to collapse that energyout and send it all back to God.
This is what's called body regen.
Is what?
Body regeneration method?
And this is a method I've beenusing for about seven years now
and I really like it more thanum sorry, more than um more than
Reiki, because it moves faster.
And so what are we going to putin?
(05:10):
What are we putting in?
Today, we're going to increasefreedom and ease.
I'm going to pull that downthrough you freedom and ease,
increasing the freedom and theease, pulling that straight down
and the ease.
Pulling that straight down.
And I'm seeing that there'slike an expansion of expression,
your fullest self-expression,oops, sorry.
(05:30):
I want to open that up, yourfullest self-expression.
And I'm going to tap on thethroat and the thyroid.
Do you have thyroid issues?
Not that I know of, not thatyou know of, okay.
Okay, not that I know of, notthat you know of, okay.
So I'm already seeing that.
(05:54):
Hold on, I'm going to expand andopen up.
I'm going to expand and openyour heart.
I'm going to remove I see someblocks around the heart.
We're going to get to those.
We're going to get to those, iswhat I hear we're going to get
to those and when we get tothose we'll look at removing
some of those Cause I do seethat there's something attached
to what you haven't said thatyou want to say, that you need
(06:15):
to say that you don't feel safeto say there's an attachment to
the childhood.
I can see there's childhood, sowe're going to, we're going to
start, I'm going to start there.
I'm starting to get chills, butwe're going to start there and
I'm just going to expand thespace and hold the space for you
.
And so what?
It's so funny because the color.
(06:38):
Do you have something going on?
Is there some light in yourroom?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well, yeah, there's a flicker.
Yeah, okay, okay, I was likewhat is going on?
I'm like she's got all thesecolors going on around her?
Yeah, I forgot.
There the light is, I can stopit too.
No, no, don't stop it, I likeit.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I just was like Whoa, what's happening?
Okay, all right, so, okay, okay, all right, so, okay.
So let's, let's do it.
What do you want to talk abouttoday?
Yeah, um, there's, is itrelationships, there's stuff
around relationship you want totalk about today always, there's
(07:18):
always, but that's also what Ido, right, right yeah, but I can
see that there's.
There is something you want tosay that you haven't said, that
you feel you need to say thatyou're holding back.
I don't know to who, or to what, or to I don't know if it's to
the world or to a person.
I just saw a man and it's likestuff down.
(07:41):
It's like stuff down and it'sDepends.
It's like stuff down and it'sDepends on which man.
Yeah, I'm like tall man.
He's tall, he's broad.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Lighter, lighter caramel.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I see dark hair Curls , okay, okay, okay.
So when I tune into his energy,he's handsome, he's tall oh
(08:22):
sorry, okay.
So he has kind of like a.
He has like a very sexy, likekind of suave swagger, like he
has this energy and that energyactually is a protective layer
because behind that he'sterrified and this strategy has
worked.
It doesn't work with you.
(08:42):
You see through it.
I just got chills.
He knows that.
It doesn't work with you.
You see through it.
I just got chills.
He knows that and it'suncomfortable for him.
He doesn't know.
He doesn't know how to handleit.
You're different and it bothershim.
It actually pisses him off alittle bit Because he doesn't
(09:03):
get to do the bullshit that heusually gets to do with women,
with you.
I love that you're laughing.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Once I tell you who you're talking about, it's going
to be hilarious to you too.
Who are we talking about?
My male bestie, oh oh, he'syour best friend.
He's not my boyfriend.
I have a boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So let me look at this a little bit more.
Why are you best friends?
Was there something there?
I?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
He wants something there.
Yeah, he wants something there.
Okay, was it that he wasn'tready?
Mm-hmm, so yeah, he doesn't.
Yeah, now he's like now there'sthat regret.
He believes and knows.
(10:27):
He has it like Sorry, he has itlike I'm going to get her back.
He's just waiting, but he actscompletely the opposite.
Yeah, he's just waiting, he'swaiting.
He's waiting because he doesn'tknow.
(10:48):
You're happy.
You're happy with this guy thatyou're with.
Yeah, for the most part, yeah,oh, okay.
So this guy, the guy you'rewith, Sorry, sorry, sorry.
(11:08):
Sorry, sorry, there's like aboring factor.
Is there a boring factor?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I wouldn't say boring , I would say he's very
hardworking so I don't get achance to see him as much.
It makes me bored and alone attimes.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, there's something like Okay, hold on,
I'm burning up.
There's something like I'mgoing to take a look at him.
He has a broader energy.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Take a look at him.
He's not easy.
It's not that he's not easy toread, he doesn't want to be read
.
He's very serious.
How old is he?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
40s just turned.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Okay, he's in a building phase.
He feels like he's a latebloomer in some respect.
There's something that hebelieves he has not accomplished
yet and by golly, if anything'sgoing to get in the way of that
, he's very determined.
He is building.
(12:23):
He's actually a really solidhuman and he's a really good guy
and he doesn't um, excuse me,he, he really likes you, he
loves you.
You're intimidating.
(12:54):
Oh, I just felt that you'reintimidating.
I just felt that in the heartthere's something about one
though, to him or to the other.
I think it's both so your friendwill get to him or to the other
.
I think it's both.
Well, so, your friend, we'llget to him in a second.
We'll get to him in a second.
I'm looking at this other guy.
He really is moved by you.
(13:20):
He's inspired by you.
There's something intimidating,almost like I see, like a
childlike behavior of I'm notenough for her.
Yes, you're on the money.
Yeah, I'm not going to.
I'm not.
She's going to grow past me.
(13:41):
That's a fear of his grow pastme.
That's a fear of his.
The working is almost adistraction.
It keeps him from having tofeel that fear that he has.
It's a very childlike fear andit's attached to his mom.
There's something about you andhis mom and his mom in you.
Okay, so I always say something.
(14:01):
I always say is uh, I alwayslike who are you sleeping with?
You're either sleeping withyour mom or your dad, or both,
right, like we're always out toheal some aspects from our
parenting upbringing, right, god, I hate it.
Sometimes people are like Ihate when you ask me that I'm
(14:21):
like well, I'm sorry you'resleeping with one of them or
both of them.
So it's his mom, and there's alot of qualities about who you
are that really resonate as areally strong, powerful woman
and it doesn't look like.
I'm unsure at this moment ifthey have a really strong
(14:45):
relationship.
But there's something about hismom that he very much admires
because he can look back todayand he can see.
Today he sees her more as thehuman that she was or is and not
as like mom, and when he looksat her from the perspective of
human he has some grace for herand understanding that.
(15:06):
I don't know whatever she did,but it was a lot.
It was very taxing.
She was very strong to get herhe has siblings to get her kids
to where they needed to get to.
There's something about survival, energy, strong, staunch women
(15:27):
and that he's very attracted to,and so he sees that in you.
But there's an element and anaspect of who he is that he
doesn't have it, that he'll everbe enough.
He'll never be enough.
There's really that spacewithin him and that's a space
that he's afraid to look at,because if he looks at that then
he feels he's actually.
What does he feel?
Yeah, you're just never goingto measure up, and it means hard
(15:51):
work.
So he has it like to feel andto be all that it's like, hard
work has to be hard work.
He has to work really hard forwhat he gets.
If he's not working hard, thenhe's not going to get what he
deserves, so he feelsundeserving.
Okay, that makes sense.
I get that.
I can relate to that very much.
So, okay, the friend is comingback in.
Let's talk about the friendhere.
(16:27):
I'm glad you're laughing becauseit's.
It's who is Terrence.
There's a Terrence keeps comingthrough.
Is there a Terrence?
Who is terrence?
There's a terrence keeps comingthrough.
Is there a terrence?
Who is terrence?
Nobody, I'm just gonna movethere's only two.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
yeah, because there's only two terrances that I've
ever known in my life, and oneis way back when and one is a an
old choir director of mine Areone of them passed over.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Both of them are here .
I'm going to ask you to holdthat, please, not you just
talking like.
Hold that please, cause I'mlike Terrence, terrence, I'm
like who the fuck is terrence?
It's like terrence keeps comingthrough.
What the hell?
Okay, so the friend, okay, well, so let's.
So what do you want to talkabout?
Let's go there.
I see him.
(17:25):
He's very much in your field.
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
oh, because I'm in love with him.
Let's just let's just, let'ssave that part, okay, um,
however, um, he's made it clearthat we can't be together.
Why, um?
You want his words or what?
I think, both.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Both yeah right what are his words.
What are his words?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
His words is he doesn't want to mess up our
friendship.
Yeah, that he put me in thebestie category so that he
wouldn't hurt me.
I personally think that hedoesn't want to put me in there
because he knows I will hold himaccountable he can't do what he
(18:18):
normally does with these otherwomen and that there are a few
things in the relationship thatcould make me walk away from you
completely and so in, ratherthan risk that, because one of
my big things is cheating Now, Iwon't walk away from you as a
(18:39):
person, as your friend, but wewon't be together.
And so I think that's part ofhis thing.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah, definitely so he's also in his forties.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
He's 43.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
He's also in his 40s.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Mm-hmm, he's 43.
Mm-hmm, he's a baby.
Well, I'm 42.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Yeah, you guys are babies.
Okay, hold on a second.
So that's what that energy is.
That energy is like later, it'slater, it's later.
Energy is like later, it'slater, it's later.
It'll be later, when he's done.
That's like, there's like not.
It's like a not yet Right.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
That's what I feel, and then that to me that's
unfair, because then I can't becompletely happy with the other.
It's always a later feeling.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
So for you, okay.
So let's talk about you.
Let's talk about you, all right, let me take a look at you.
So, and you've told him you'rein love with him he's aware he's
(19:57):
very aware, and is it mutual?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I.
He says no, but I feeldifferently and you're talking
about the best that you'recurrent.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah yeah, yeah, and when he's with you and around
you, what's that energy like?
Together depends on who we'rearound, okay, so when you're
alone, when you're alone, whatis it?
It?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
feels.
It feels like we are together,but not together.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
How often are you alone?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Probably quite often, because we also have another
business together.
Oh so I mean, I'd say at leastonce or twice a week.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Okay, so he's like in your life, yeah, and it stops
you from really being withanybody else, because you're in
love with him yeah, but I took achance on my boyfriend and I
really do love him.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Um, but there's always in the back of my head
the other person.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
um, and truth, to where is that?
Okay, hold on.
What is that?
Okay, there's a connection inthe frontal lobe.
(21:27):
What is that about?
There's something you'reunwilling to be with and see
about yourself, so I'm going toremove.
I want to unhook that so we canactually bring that forward.
What is it that we want tobring that forward?
Okay, so in truth, in truth,why did you choose to be open to
(21:53):
this other man?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
in truth, for you I wanted to stop not allowing
myself to be open and availableto other people.
Um, and then I fell in lovewith the qualities of this
person.
For the most part, he issomeone I'm willing to marry.
(22:18):
Are you attracted?
Speaker 1 (22:18):
to him Very much so.
Okay, that's good what are youtrying to cover up?
Yeah, what are you trying to?
You're avoiding something.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
You truthfully, look what are you trying to?
You're avoiding something.
You truthfully, look what areyou?
I mean, I, I think I've, I'vealways avoided being alone.
Um, that probably is the firstthing that comes to mind.
Um, because I'm an only childtoo, and I'm not close to any of
my blood family.
That's a whole differentballgame for me Another day,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
But that ties into you.
Where do you seek family, myfriends?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
and my romantic partner.
My friends are my family.
My romantic partner becomes myfamily.
My friends are my family.
My romantic partner becomes myfamily.
So when the divorce happened,that was a whole.
Remember.
I started this conversationwith that, though.
With that yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
So, given that these two men showed up, given that we
were looking at these two guys,what is the thing?
And again, we can talk aboutanything, but I want to work
through this.
What would have you experienced?
Complete and total freedom inthis conundrum?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
This is kind of what it is.
Oh, on one side, right, um,with my boyfriend, um, it would
be.
Get to the place where you'refinancially stable, right?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
You or him.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Him.
I mean me too, but I feel likeI'm more stable than he is,
because, yeah, I'm definitelymore stable than he is.
But in this timeframe, rightnow, he is trying to get to a
place where he doesn't have towork for jobs, and he just got a
(24:35):
beautiful job making very goodmoney.
He's just trying to weanhimself off of everything after
he gets straight, right.
So in that particular scenario,it would be being able to spend
this quality time that I wouldlike with you.
Let's do those things togetherand and continue to build,
because he's a good, he's a verygood dude um, and possibly
(25:01):
marry, right, I wasn't open toit before and I am now.
Um, because that marriageanyway.
Um, on the other side of things,he's already financially stable
.
He already does the things.
I can sit and talk to you forhours.
(25:22):
I don't have when I'm with you.
I'm with you, we're we'relocked in, right.
But that's why you're my bestfriend, because of those factors
too, because I don't hold back.
If I was to be with you, youwould have to stop doing the
things that you do, and I don'tknow if you would be willing to
(25:44):
do any of those things, but Idon't even think it's a
possibility either, because ofwhat you've said to me anyway.
So how do I detach myself rightas far as being in love with
you and just being the bestie?
I'm good with that, um, becauseI feel are you worthy of having
(26:05):
everything you absolutelydesire.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Are you worthy of that?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
sure?
Yeah, don't go asking mequestions.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I asked my my seriously, though, like are,
like you know, think about itthese two guys showing up for
you, each of them havingqualities that are very
admirable in what you desire,yet neither being the 100%
(26:37):
package.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
And then do you get what you desire Completely from
either one?
No, I also have this thingabout nobody being 100% of what
you want.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Well, nobody is 100% of what you want, right?
Like, well, let me take thatback.
Let me see, let me take thatback.
There is somebody who's ahundred percent perfect for you,
and there is somebody who wouldbe willing to show up for you.
And there is somebody who wouldbe willing to choose you,
create with you and doeverything for you, with you,
(27:25):
and even to the point of y'allshouldn't be doing everything
together, you should also haveyour own separate lives, right,
right, but there's somebody whowould literally show up for you
emotionally, physically,mentally, communicatively.
They have their shit together.
They're sexy, they'reattractive, they bring chivalry,
(27:45):
they adore you, they see whoyou are.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
And I feel like I get 80% of that in each person, and
I feel like I get 80% of thatin each person.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
And that's what I'm saying.
So where, where are you?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
only showing up for you 80% In both of these
relationships.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Well, there's, consider, I'm going to assert
something.
There's something you're afraidof, right.
There's something you're afraidof Like it, like it's like it's
not possible.
And let me just say this tooyou open the door, kudos, you
open the door and you're likeI'm going to go feel out some
(28:33):
other people in the world, andthis guy showed up and he wants
to show up and he can show upand he may show up.
And he wants to show up and hecan show up, and he may show up.
But what I heard earlier,intuitively, is that I don't
know that he's at your caliber.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
And he's safe for you .
Possibly, possibly, um, I don'tknow if I use the word safe, um
, and the only reason why I sayand I'm not sure if I use the
word safe is because I not surethat it is safe, I mean, but
just based off of I mean safe asin.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
That's safe as in.
It's safe because you know howto control and manage that.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Yeah, and that's what I'm saying I don't think that
I'm completely safe because I'mnot controlling and managing
this situation all the way, likeI feel like I can, um, because
I also think that I could walkaway too.
Um, and then I'd be back tosquare one, which is what alone.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Okay, which is?
And what's wrong with alone?
Oh, that's a big deal, okay, solet's look at that, because
that's that, that's that 20percent probably that we need to
look at that's.
There's only 80 showing up, butwhat is that is wrong with
alone?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
I probably.
Well, there's several layers tothat.
Um, let's take the businesslayer.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Um, I get judged all the time for what I do and not
being married right, um, sothat's one thing because you
coach in relationships andyou're not married all the time
it is, and how does that impactyou?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
sometimes it impacts me because of business purposes.
They are like oh, I'm not goingto hire Because you feel like
I'm inadequate for some reason,and I'm like education and
experience, honey.
But it's a whole differentballgame, right?
And so that affects mebusiness-wise.
(30:58):
I think it's stupid, but itaffects me business-wise.
Then let's go to the next layer.
If I'm doing all of thesethings for so many people, right
, and I'm able to fix so manyrelationships and marriages that
I come in contact with, why isit that I'm alone?
(31:24):
And so then it goes down thatspiral of things, right?
And when I was alone, and thennow it's like I don't get an
opportunity to utilize some ofthe tools that I I actually um
use with my clients, um toimplement in their relationships
(31:45):
, because I'm not seeing myboyfriend as much Um, so we
don't even have the opportunityheld to even argue sometimes.
How often do you see himworking, like right now?
Yesterday was probably, no,today's Sunday, right, I saw him
(32:06):
Friday.
Was that Friday?
Yeah, friday, friday was thefirst time that I had seen him
in weeks.
Because of this crazy schedule,he's having to work right this
moment, and I think I forgot tomention that he has five kids,
so that plays a big factor intoeverything, because when he
doesn't have, he can't give tothe kids right, or help provide
(32:28):
for the other person that's onthe other end of that, doing it
by themselves, right, and so,being a single mother, I
understand that too, and Iadmire the fact that you are
trying to make sure that theother person is also straight,
trying to make sure your childis straight, you know.
So that's a big deal to me, andso that's probably why I give
(32:50):
him a lot of grace, because Isee what you're trying to do for
not only you know yourself, butfor your family, you know, no
matter how many people isinvolved in that Right.
So sometimes I'm like, butwhere do I fall in this equation
?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Sometimes what do you desire?
Speaker 2 (33:11):
What do?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
you truly desire, in truth, for yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
To be in a loving committed relationship.
Now you understand the packagedeal that I have going on too,
um okay.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So hold, hold on, don't go into any more story.
That's just what you desire,and you're probably gonna hate
this question, because I know Ido when people ask me, because I
get where you're taught, I getwhere you're at because I'm in a
similar place.
I've been divorced 10 years.
I do a lot on relationships.
I'm like, really, when is minecoming around?
(33:45):
But it comes around right whenit's supposed to.
However, I want to get to.
There's something about you.
If these two people are areflection of who you are,
because the world just reflectswhere you stand.
If these two people are areflection of who you are,
(34:11):
what's missing or what is itthat you have to look at within
you to be 100% complete versus80.
And I want you to really sitwith that and just be with.
What is it that they arereflecting to you?
(34:31):
I honestly don't know how toanswer that question when we
look at this space of like,you're back to square one, right
, and that's being alone, andhow that has you feel.
What does it mean to be alonefor you?
(34:55):
What does it mean to be alonefor you?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Failure, okay good, okay, what else?
First word yeah what else?
Unloved, Failure unloved.
What else Unappreciated?
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Unappreciated.
What else Not needed, notneeded, failure unloved.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
What else appreciated , unappreciated what else not
needed not?
Needed what else unimportant?
Speaker 1 (35:27):
you're not important, you're unloved, you're not
appreciated, you're not needed.
What else?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
those are the main ones, I think when did that
happen in your life?
Speaker 1 (35:40):
when did you make up that decision about you, that
who you are is not important?
Oh, that's, that's mommy issuesall day, every day um so how
old were you when you made upthat decision about yourself?
About eight eight, okay, solet's look at that
eight-year-old self of yoursmade up that decision about
yourself, about eight, eight,okay.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
So let's look at that eight-year-old self of yours.
Child, we don't have time forthat, sorry.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Thank you, there's the answer.
She does not have time to lookat herself in that way, so she's
only going to stay at 80%.
And you know what?
Hey, it's not like we have todig deep and it's not like we
have to go back and like rehashall the shit from that time,
right.
But there is a time right thereat the age of eight, that you
(36:35):
decided I'm right there at theage of eight, that you decided
I'm not important, I'm notlovable, I'm not needed, like
why be here?
So what happened at that time?
What is it that happened in ashort, in a short, in a short?
Like doesn't have to be the bigstory.
What is it that happened?
Speaker 2 (36:53):
with your mom.
I don't know why I feel like Igot lipstick on my lip.
It could be just the reflection.
Um, well, a couple of things.
They.
They separated my parents, um,separated in between that time,
(37:18):
um and I.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I don't me because you had to take me, not because
you wanted me alright, so I'mgoing to pull up that energy and
that's okay, that's where it's.
That's the block in the heart.
Okay, that's the block in theheart.
It's like your heart.
When block in the heart, okay,that's the block in the heart
and you're it's, it's like yourheart.
(37:40):
When I see your heart, there'slike this nice, neat little
leather like box and it has alittle silver button right here
and it's like you're going toonly open it like this and then
you close it up and you open itlike this and then you close it
up and for the most part, youkeep it closed.
(38:05):
You keep it closed, hold on.
You open it for a very selectfew is what I'm hearing and you
like to keep it closed becauseyou don't trust people.
You don't trust that they'regoing to stick around.
(38:35):
Hold on, hold on.
Okay, they're showing me whenyou're eight.
It's funny.
I see you have on pants and youhave on black shoes and I see
you and your mom is there, andthere is this space and feeling
(39:00):
for you where you just feel theword non-existent keeps coming
up, but it's not like it's notnon-existent, it's like they,
they know you're there, you'rethere, they do love you.
But you have this experience ofum, you're so neutral.
Why is she so neutral in thatmoment?
(39:20):
Me or her, you hold on, sorry,I'm just I'm listening to
communication and talking andI've got this vision and I'm
trying to read the vision.
Why is she so neutral?
There's almost like this spaceof you just not being able to
(39:43):
contribute.
You can't help, you're not Ijust heard not worthy, not loved
, like that's your experience.
But there's, it's like a senseof helplessness, like you want
so badly in this moment, in thatmoment we'll just say, this
moment that eight-year-old wantsso badly to be held and to be
(40:04):
loved.
And it's as if you're juststanding over here on the
sideline waiting and nothing'shappening.
And when nothing's happening,what's happening for you is you
literally go into this veryneutral place.
That's interesting.
(40:25):
So I can see now what you dowith these two men.
Like what you need to do iscommand and demand what you need
and desire and you're not.
It's like you're patientlywaiting.
You're just going to wait.
I'll just wait here patiently,I'm going to wait and I'm going
(40:46):
to wait and I'm going to waitand I'm going to wait.
And your mom never shows up inthe way that you want her to
Hold on.
Is your grandmother big in thepicture too?
(41:06):
In your childhood you have agrandmother that's big in the
picture.
Your mom worked a lot.
Did your mom work a lot?
Yeah, and your grandmother wasthere.
She supported you and did mostof everything.
Okay, and your grandmother wasthere.
She supported you and did mostof everything.
Okay, I see that, like I seeher.
She comes in behind you.
She oh, I just got chills.
She's still around yourgrandmother.
(41:26):
Oh, I just got chills.
She comes in, Woo, she comes inbehind you.
Oh, I feel her.
She comes in behind you.
She literally puts her armsaround you and she pulls you
back Like she pulls you into her.
She knows and sees how hurt youare, but she also knows that
(41:48):
your mom has to do what she'sdoing and your grandmother feels
like.
At one point when you get older, you'll understand.
It's that whole mentality.
When you grow up you'llunderstand she's actually saying
she's sorry.
She ever said that there wasnothing she could do because she
didn't know how to do it anybetter.
So she did what she knew to doand that was to take the best
(42:09):
care of you that she could.
She has a lot of faith in you.
She says I can't hear her.
You need to stop worrying aboutthese men there's something
about you.
Stop worrying about these menbecause there's a better one
coming.
Sorry, there's a better onecoming, but it, it, it requires
(42:33):
you to go deep into this areaand this fear of you being alone
because you can't see howpowerful you are, and this story
around you, this, okay, solet's talk about this a little
bit.
The story about you and Iunderstand this.
You should be in a relationship.
(42:55):
How do you have, like, how canyou coach me?
You're not married, like.
You just need to unplug fromthat.
We're going to unplug you fromthat because that's a collective
consciousness that you don'teven need to be a part of.
So I'm going to unplug you fromthat and I want to plug you
back into your highest andpurest self and plug you back
into that God Christed lightenergy that comes down and just
(43:16):
pushes all that out, becausethat's not the truth and you
don't have to believe in thattruth.
When you believe in that truth,that's who's going to show up
for you, but you have to getthat.
You're looking for the peoplewho know that.
You've lived the school of hardknocks.
That's where you come from, andnobody else can do that unless
they're doing it in their life.
(43:38):
That's what has you be anexpert.
You've walked the talk.
Thank you for listening to thepodcast.
I would love to work with any ofthose who are looking to really
have a better understanding ofan area of life where they're
moving through.
Maybe you're feeling stuck,maybe you're feeling stagnant,
maybe you just need clarity oryou need some reassurance of is
(44:02):
this what I'm feeling, is thiswhat is going on?
Because maybe you're secondguessing yourself.
I remember I used to have avery bad habit of second
guessing myself, and so the workthat I do can confirm things.
The work that I do can help youremove blocks and get unstuck,
and there is a link below in theshow notes.
If you want to go ahead andschedule a discovery session
(44:23):
with me, I would love to workwith you.
So until our next show, which isgoing to be on gene keys and a
journey with a dear friend ofmine who moved to she moved to
her and her family.
They moved to Costa Rica andthat trip opened up a lot of
(44:47):
things for her and her family atthat time and her life did a
total 180.
So we're going to hear a lotabout that on the next story and
there's going to be aspects ofit that may be triggering in
this conversation.
There may be aspects that areincredibly inspiring.
I find the journey of her andher family very inspiring.
There were a lot of changes,and so we'll hear more about
(45:09):
that in the next show.
I look forward to working withall of you.
Thank you for being here,thanks for being a part of this
amazing healing adventure, anduntil next time, talk with you
soon.
Bye.
Thank you for coming on thishealing adventure today.
If you're starting to see howeverything is falling into place
for you, consider rating theshow and sharing it with one of
(45:30):
your friends.
Keep that spirit alive and joinme.
Next week, same place, sametime.
Have a.
Next week, same place, sametime.
Have a great week.
Welcome back to the intuitive mentor mom podcast,
where we explore strategies forgrowing confidence, empowerment
and gaining clarity for midlifemoms.
When life is happening for youand not to you, you can be
living the life of freedom, funand bliss.
I'm your host, tara Michelle.
Let's get to it.
(00:22):
Welcome back y'all to the show.
Intuitive mentor mom.
My name is Tara Michelle.
Let's get to it.
Welcome back y'all to the show.
Intuitive Mentor Mom.
My name is Tara Michelle.
I'm excited to be with youtoday.
This next episode.
This is a.
You know, I was going to sayit's a quick episode.
It's not a quick episode, it'sa shortened episode.
How about that?
This episode is about a coachingsession I did with a client and
(00:47):
she was open to allowing me toshare because I want to share
with people a little bit of thework that I do and how I work
with people, as I've shared inthe past.
For those of you who are new, Iam certified in a number of
modalities, so one of the thingsI'm certified in is quantum
healing hypnosis, which is atype of past life regression,
which is a lot of fun.
(01:07):
I don't do a lot of thosesessions anymore, but I do have
the capability of seeing intopast lives when I'm working with
people individually, and soanother method that I do is body
regeneration method, similar tothe only thing I can say that
it's similar to is Reiki.
What I like about it is theenergy moves a lot faster.
(01:28):
So I've been doing that forabout seven years now, certified
in that, and what I do when I'mworking with people is I take a
combination of all themodalities that I've either
learned or am certified in and Iuse those during the session.
I'm highly intuitive, have thecapability and ability to see
future, past, present situations, to read energies, to look at
(01:51):
various things going on withpeople in their lives in all
areas.
I also have the ability to talkto people that are on the other
side.
So sometimes that will comethrough, messages will come
through, messages will comethrough.
But I wanted to share some ofthe sessions on here as well
people who are open and willingto so that you can get a sense
of how I work.
This particular session was verylong.
It was over two hours long.
(02:13):
I went ahead and just shortenedit.
I cut a portion of it out andit gives you a sense of the
various areas that we worked onwith this individual.
She did not want to share hername.
She was fine sharing her voice,but not her name and sorry,
you're going to hear my dogs inthe background, sorry.
So we looked at what thisparticular situation is.
(02:38):
Around a romantic relationshipand a friend relationship.
There were blocks around theheart that we had to look at.
We had to look at some truththat was being avoided.
We had to look at what wouldmake her feel free in her
situation.
So there were a number ofthings that we moved through in
this conversation, but it'llgive you a sense of how I work.
(03:01):
This particular session, as Imentioned, took a while.
A lot of times when I work withpeople, I do hour long sessions
.
This was a little differentbecause of what I was working on
in terms of a project and thisperson stepped up to take part
in that.
So I'm going to go ahead andlet you listen to this next
section or I should say yeah,section of the session, and
(03:26):
you'll hear how we work together, things she moved through
Towards the end.
I did a lot of bodyregeneration method, which you
won't hear in the section that Itook, but I did a lot of
unplugging.
We had a lot of removal blocksremovals to to take out of the
space the energetic field.
(03:47):
We had some work to do on herheart.
We had to look at how thesepeople showing up her life, how
they were reflecting aspects ofher and in areas of childhood
trauma that she needed to workon.
So it was an interestingsession.
I'm going to go ahead and leaveit here and then I will see you
on the other side, and thanksfor being with us.
(04:07):
I'm going to do I just want todo a quick alignment.
So I was doing a little bit ofwork before we got on this call,
but I want to.
What I'm going to do is I'mgoing to pull up all my unknown
resistance, hesitation andinterference energy from me to
you and you to me, and pullingit all up from this experience
today so that you hold on.
(04:28):
I'm going to pull it all up andI want to collapse it out.
This thing is in my way, but Igot to talk into it.
Stay over here, okay.
So let me pull this up.
Not an unknown interferenceenergy is from myself to her,
her to me, energy is from myselfto her and her to me, and
(04:49):
sometimes I burp, yawn as energyis being pulled out, and so I'm
going to collapse that energyout and send it all back to God.
This is what's called body regen.
Is what?
Body regeneration method?
And this is a method I've beenusing for about seven years now
and I really like it more thanum sorry, more than um more than
Reiki, because it moves faster.
And so what are we going to putin?
(05:10):
What are we putting in?
Today, we're going to increasefreedom and ease.
I'm going to pull that downthrough you freedom and ease,
increasing the freedom and theease, pulling that straight down
and the ease.
Pulling that straight down.
And I'm seeing that there'slike an expansion of expression,
your fullest self-expression,oops, sorry.
(05:30):
I want to open that up, yourfullest self-expression.
And I'm going to tap on thethroat and the thyroid.
Do you have thyroid issues?
Not that I know of, not thatyou know of, okay.
Okay, not that I know of, notthat you know of, okay.
So I'm already seeing that.
(05:54):
Hold on, I'm going to expand andopen up.
I'm going to expand and openyour heart.
I'm going to remove I see someblocks around the heart.
We're going to get to those.
We're going to get to those, iswhat I hear we're going to get
to those and when we get tothose we'll look at removing
some of those Cause I do seethat there's something attached
to what you haven't said thatyou want to say, that you need
(06:15):
to say that you don't feel safeto say there's an attachment to
the childhood.
I can see there's childhood, sowe're going to, we're going to
start, I'm going to start there.
I'm starting to get chills, butwe're going to start there and
I'm just going to expand thespace and hold the space for you
.
And so what?
It's so funny because the color.
(06:38):
Do you have something going on?
Is there some light in yourroom?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well, yeah, there's a flicker.
Yeah, okay, okay, I was likewhat is going on?
I'm like she's got all thesecolors going on around her?
Yeah, I forgot.
There the light is, I can stopit too.
No, no, don't stop it, I likeit.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I just was like Whoa, what's happening?
Okay, all right, so, okay, okay, all right, so, okay.
So let's, let's do it.
What do you want to talk abouttoday?
Yeah, um, there's, is itrelationships, there's stuff
around relationship you want totalk about today always, there's
(07:18):
always, but that's also what Ido, right, right yeah, but I can
see that there's.
There is something you want tosay that you haven't said, that
you feel you need to say thatyou're holding back.
I don't know to who, or to what, or to I don't know if it's to
the world or to a person.
I just saw a man and it's likestuff down.
(07:41):
It's like stuff down and it'sDepends.
It's like stuff down and it'sDepends on which man.
Yeah, I'm like tall man.
He's tall, he's broad.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Lighter, lighter caramel.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I see dark hair Curls , okay, okay, okay.
So when I tune into his energy,he's handsome, he's tall oh
(08:22):
sorry, okay.
So he has kind of like a.
He has like a very sexy, likekind of suave swagger, like he
has this energy and that energyactually is a protective layer
because behind that he'sterrified and this strategy has
worked.
It doesn't work with you.
(08:42):
You see through it.
I just got chills.
He knows that.
It doesn't work with you.
You see through it.
I just got chills.
He knows that and it'suncomfortable for him.
He doesn't know.
He doesn't know how to handleit.
You're different and it bothershim.
It actually pisses him off alittle bit Because he doesn't
(09:03):
get to do the bullshit that heusually gets to do with women,
with you.
I love that you're laughing.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Once I tell you who you're talking about, it's going
to be hilarious to you too.
Who are we talking about?
My male bestie, oh oh, he'syour best friend.
He's not my boyfriend.
I have a boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So let me look at this a little bit more.
Why are you best friends?
Was there something there?
I?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
He wants something there.
Yeah, he wants something there.
Okay, was it that he wasn'tready?
Mm-hmm, so yeah, he doesn't.
Yeah, now he's like now there'sthat regret.
He believes and knows.
(10:27):
He has it like Sorry, he has itlike I'm going to get her back.
He's just waiting, but he actscompletely the opposite.
Yeah, he's just waiting, he'swaiting.
He's waiting because he doesn'tknow.
(10:48):
You're happy.
You're happy with this guy thatyou're with.
Yeah, for the most part, yeah,oh, okay.
So this guy, the guy you'rewith, Sorry, sorry, sorry.
(11:08):
Sorry, sorry, there's like aboring factor.
Is there a boring factor?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I wouldn't say boring , I would say he's very
hardworking so I don't get achance to see him as much.
It makes me bored and alone attimes.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, there's something like Okay, hold on,
I'm burning up.
There's something like I'mgoing to take a look at him.
He has a broader energy.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Take a look at him.
He's not easy.
It's not that he's not easy toread, he doesn't want to be read
.
He's very serious.
How old is he?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
40s just turned.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Okay, he's in a building phase.
He feels like he's a latebloomer in some respect.
There's something that hebelieves he has not accomplished
yet and by golly, if anything'sgoing to get in the way of that
, he's very determined.
He is building.
(12:23):
He's actually a really solidhuman and he's a really good guy
and he doesn't um, excuse me,he, he really likes you, he
loves you.
You're intimidating.
(12:54):
Oh, I just felt that you'reintimidating.
I just felt that in the heartthere's something about one
though, to him or to the other.
I think it's both so your friendwill get to him or to the other
.
I think it's both.
Well, so, your friend, we'llget to him in a second.
We'll get to him in a second.
I'm looking at this other guy.
He really is moved by you.
(13:20):
He's inspired by you.
There's something intimidating,almost like I see, like a
childlike behavior of I'm notenough for her.
Yes, you're on the money.
Yeah, I'm not going to.
I'm not.
She's going to grow past me.
(13:41):
That's a fear of his grow pastme.
That's a fear of his.
The working is almost adistraction.
It keeps him from having tofeel that fear that he has.
It's a very childlike fear andit's attached to his mom.
There's something about you andhis mom and his mom in you.
Okay, so I always say something.
(14:01):
I always say is uh, I alwayslike who are you sleeping with?
You're either sleeping withyour mom or your dad, or both,
right, like we're always out toheal some aspects from our
parenting upbringing, right, god, I hate it.
Sometimes people are like Ihate when you ask me that I'm
(14:21):
like well, I'm sorry you'resleeping with one of them or
both of them.
So it's his mom, and there's alot of qualities about who you
are that really resonate as areally strong, powerful woman
and it doesn't look like.
I'm unsure at this moment ifthey have a really strong
(14:45):
relationship.
But there's something about hismom that he very much admires
because he can look back todayand he can see.
Today he sees her more as thehuman that she was or is and not
as like mom, and when he looksat her from the perspective of
human he has some grace for herand understanding that.
(15:06):
I don't know whatever she did,but it was a lot.
It was very taxing.
She was very strong to get herhe has siblings to get her kids
to where they needed to get to.
There's something about survival, energy, strong, staunch women
(15:27):
and that he's very attracted to,and so he sees that in you.
But there's an element and anaspect of who he is that he
doesn't have it, that he'll everbe enough.
He'll never be enough.
There's really that spacewithin him and that's a space
that he's afraid to look at,because if he looks at that then
he feels he's actually.
What does he feel?
Yeah, you're just never goingto measure up, and it means hard
(15:51):
work.
So he has it like to feel andto be all that it's like, hard
work has to be hard work.
He has to work really hard forwhat he gets.
If he's not working hard, thenhe's not going to get what he
deserves, so he feelsundeserving.
Okay, that makes sense.
I get that.
I can relate to that very much.
So, okay, the friend is comingback in.
Let's talk about the friendhere.
(16:27):
I'm glad you're laughing becauseit's.
It's who is Terrence.
There's a Terrence keeps comingthrough.
Is there a Terrence?
Who is terrence?
There's a terrence keeps comingthrough.
Is there a terrence?
Who is terrence?
Nobody, I'm just gonna movethere's only two.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
yeah, because there's only two terrances that I've
ever known in my life, and oneis way back when and one is a an
old choir director of mine Areone of them passed over.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Both of them are here .
I'm going to ask you to holdthat, please, not you just
talking like.
Hold that please, cause I'mlike Terrence, terrence, I'm
like who the fuck is terrence?
It's like terrence keeps comingthrough.
What the hell?
Okay, so the friend, okay, well, so let's.
So what do you want to talkabout?
Let's go there.
I see him.
(17:25):
He's very much in your field.
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
oh, because I'm in love with him.
Let's just let's just, let'ssave that part, okay, um,
however, um, he's made it clearthat we can't be together.
Why, um?
You want his words or what?
I think, both.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Both yeah right what are his words.
What are his words?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
His words is he doesn't want to mess up our
friendship.
Yeah, that he put me in thebestie category so that he
wouldn't hurt me.
I personally think that hedoesn't want to put me in there
because he knows I will hold himaccountable he can't do what he
(18:18):
normally does with these otherwomen and that there are a few
things in the relationship thatcould make me walk away from you
completely and so in, ratherthan risk that, because one of
my big things is cheating Now, Iwon't walk away from you as a
(18:39):
person, as your friend, but wewon't be together.
And so I think that's part ofhis thing.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah, definitely so he's also in his forties.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
He's 43.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
He's also in his 40s.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Mm-hmm, he's 43.
Mm-hmm, he's a baby.
Well, I'm 42.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Yeah, you guys are babies.
Okay, hold on a second.
So that's what that energy is.
That energy is like later, it'slater, it's later.
Energy is like later, it'slater, it's later.
It'll be later, when he's done.
That's like, there's like not.
It's like a not yet Right.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
That's what I feel, and then that to me that's
unfair, because then I can't becompletely happy with the other.
It's always a later feeling.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
So for you, okay.
So let's talk about you.
Let's talk about you, all right, let me take a look at you.
So, and you've told him you'rein love with him he's aware he's
(19:57):
very aware, and is it mutual?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I.
He says no, but I feeldifferently and you're talking
about the best that you'recurrent.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah yeah, yeah, and when he's with you and around
you, what's that energy like?
Together depends on who we'rearound, okay, so when you're
alone, when you're alone, whatis it?
It?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
feels.
It feels like we are together,but not together.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
How often are you alone?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Probably quite often, because we also have another
business together.
Oh so I mean, I'd say at leastonce or twice a week.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Okay, so he's like in your life, yeah, and it stops
you from really being withanybody else, because you're in
love with him yeah, but I took achance on my boyfriend and I
really do love him.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Um, but there's always in the back of my head
the other person.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
um, and truth, to where is that?
Okay, hold on.
What is that?
Okay, there's a connection inthe frontal lobe.
(21:27):
What is that about?
There's something you'reunwilling to be with and see
about yourself, so I'm going toremove.
I want to unhook that so we canactually bring that forward.
What is it that we want tobring that forward?
Okay, so in truth, in truth,why did you choose to be open to
(21:53):
this other man?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
in truth, for you I wanted to stop not allowing
myself to be open and availableto other people.
Um, and then I fell in lovewith the qualities of this
person.
For the most part, he issomeone I'm willing to marry.
(22:18):
Are you attracted?
Speaker 1 (22:18):
to him Very much so.
Okay, that's good what are youtrying to cover up?
Yeah, what are you trying to?
You're avoiding something.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
You truthfully, look what are you trying to?
You're avoiding something.
You truthfully, look what areyou?
I mean, I, I think I've, I'vealways avoided being alone.
Um, that probably is the firstthing that comes to mind.
Um, because I'm an only childtoo, and I'm not close to any of
my blood family.
That's a whole differentballgame for me Another day,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
But that ties into you.
Where do you seek family, myfriends?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
and my romantic partner.
My friends are my family.
My romantic partner becomes myfamily.
My friends are my family.
My romantic partner becomes myfamily.
So when the divorce happened,that was a whole.
Remember.
I started this conversationwith that, though.
With that yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
So, given that these two men showed up, given that we
were looking at these two guys,what is the thing?
And again, we can talk aboutanything, but I want to work
through this.
What would have you experienced?
Complete and total freedom inthis conundrum?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
This is kind of what it is.
Oh, on one side, right, um,with my boyfriend, um, it would
be.
Get to the place where you'refinancially stable, right?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
You or him.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Him.
I mean me too, but I feel likeI'm more stable than he is,
because, yeah, I'm definitelymore stable than he is.
But in this timeframe, rightnow, he is trying to get to a
place where he doesn't have towork for jobs, and he just got a
(24:35):
beautiful job making very goodmoney.
He's just trying to weanhimself off of everything after
he gets straight, right.
So in that particular scenario,it would be being able to spend
this quality time that I wouldlike with you.
Let's do those things togetherand and continue to build,
because he's a good, he's a verygood dude um, and possibly
(25:01):
marry, right, I wasn't open toit before and I am now.
Um, because that marriageanyway.
Um, on the other side of things,he's already financially stable
.
He already does the things.
I can sit and talk to you forhours.
(25:22):
I don't have when I'm with you.
I'm with you, we're we'relocked in, right.
But that's why you're my bestfriend, because of those factors
too, because I don't hold back.
If I was to be with you, youwould have to stop doing the
things that you do, and I don'tknow if you would be willing to
(25:44):
do any of those things, but Idon't even think it's a
possibility either, because ofwhat you've said to me anyway.
So how do I detach myself rightas far as being in love with
you and just being the bestie?
I'm good with that, um, becauseI feel are you worthy of having
(26:05):
everything you absolutelydesire.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Are you worthy of that?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
sure?
Yeah, don't go asking mequestions.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I asked my my seriously, though, like are,
like you know, think about itthese two guys showing up for
you, each of them havingqualities that are very
admirable in what you desire,yet neither being the 100%
(26:37):
package.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
And then do you get what you desire Completely from
either one?
No, I also have this thingabout nobody being 100% of what
you want.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Well, nobody is 100% of what you want, right?
Like, well, let me take thatback.
Let me see, let me take thatback.
There is somebody who's ahundred percent perfect for you,
and there is somebody who wouldbe willing to show up for you.
And there is somebody who wouldbe willing to choose you,
create with you and doeverything for you, with you,
(27:25):
and even to the point of y'allshouldn't be doing everything
together, you should also haveyour own separate lives, right,
right, but there's somebody whowould literally show up for you
emotionally, physically,mentally, communicatively.
They have their shit together.
They're sexy, they'reattractive, they bring chivalry,
(27:45):
they adore you, they see whoyou are.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
And I feel like I get 80% of that in each person, and
I feel like I get 80% of thatin each person.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
And that's what I'm saying.
So where, where are you?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
only showing up for you 80% In both of these
relationships.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Well, there's, consider, I'm going to assert
something.
There's something you're afraidof, right.
There's something you're afraidof Like it, like it's like it's
not possible.
And let me just say this tooyou open the door, kudos, you
open the door and you're likeI'm going to go feel out some
(28:33):
other people in the world, andthis guy showed up and he wants
to show up and he can show upand he may show up.
And he wants to show up and hecan show up, and he may show up.
But what I heard earlier,intuitively, is that I don't
know that he's at your caliber.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
And he's safe for you .
Possibly, possibly, um, I don'tknow if I use the word safe, um
, and the only reason why I sayand I'm not sure if I use the
word safe is because I not surethat it is safe, I mean, but
just based off of I mean safe asin.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
That's safe as in.
It's safe because you know howto control and manage that.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Yeah, and that's what I'm saying I don't think that
I'm completely safe because I'mnot controlling and managing
this situation all the way, likeI feel like I can, um, because
I also think that I could walkaway too.
Um, and then I'd be back tosquare one, which is what alone.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Okay, which is?
And what's wrong with alone?
Oh, that's a big deal, okay, solet's look at that, because
that's that, that's that 20percent probably that we need to
look at that's.
There's only 80 showing up, butwhat is that is wrong with
alone?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
I probably.
Well, there's several layers tothat.
Um, let's take the businesslayer.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Um, I get judged all the time for what I do and not
being married right, um, sothat's one thing because you
coach in relationships andyou're not married all the time
it is, and how does that impactyou?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
sometimes it impacts me because of business purposes.
They are like oh, I'm not goingto hire Because you feel like
I'm inadequate for some reason,and I'm like education and
experience, honey.
But it's a whole differentballgame, right?
And so that affects mebusiness-wise.
(30:58):
I think it's stupid, but itaffects me business-wise.
Then let's go to the next layer.
If I'm doing all of thesethings for so many people, right
, and I'm able to fix so manyrelationships and marriages that
I come in contact with, why isit that I'm alone?
(31:24):
And so then it goes down thatspiral of things, right?
And when I was alone, and thennow it's like I don't get an
opportunity to utilize some ofthe tools that I I actually um
use with my clients, um toimplement in their relationships
(31:45):
, because I'm not seeing myboyfriend as much Um, so we
don't even have the opportunityheld to even argue sometimes.
How often do you see himworking, like right now?
Yesterday was probably, no,today's Sunday, right, I saw him
(32:06):
Friday.
Was that Friday?
Yeah, friday, friday was thefirst time that I had seen him
in weeks.
Because of this crazy schedule,he's having to work right this
moment, and I think I forgot tomention that he has five kids,
so that plays a big factor intoeverything, because when he
doesn't have, he can't give tothe kids right, or help provide
(32:28):
for the other person that's onthe other end of that, doing it
by themselves, right, and so,being a single mother, I
understand that too, and Iadmire the fact that you are
trying to make sure that theother person is also straight,
trying to make sure your childis straight, you know.
So that's a big deal to me, andso that's probably why I give
(32:50):
him a lot of grace, because Isee what you're trying to do for
not only you know yourself, butfor your family, you know, no
matter how many people isinvolved in that Right.
So sometimes I'm like, butwhere do I fall in this equation
?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Sometimes what do you desire?
Speaker 2 (33:11):
What do?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
you truly desire, in truth, for yourself.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
To be in a loving committed relationship.
Now you understand the packagedeal that I have going on too,
um okay.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So hold, hold on, don't go into any more story.
That's just what you desire,and you're probably gonna hate
this question, because I know Ido when people ask me, because I
get where you're taught, I getwhere you're at because I'm in a
similar place.
I've been divorced 10 years.
I do a lot on relationships.
I'm like, really, when is minecoming around?
(33:45):
But it comes around right whenit's supposed to.
However, I want to get to.
There's something about you.
If these two people are areflection of who you are,
because the world just reflectswhere you stand.
If these two people are areflection of who you are,
(34:11):
what's missing or what is itthat you have to look at within
you to be 100% complete versus80.
And I want you to really sitwith that and just be with.
What is it that they arereflecting to you?
(34:31):
I honestly don't know how toanswer that question when we
look at this space of like,you're back to square one, right
, and that's being alone, andhow that has you feel.
What does it mean to be alonefor you?
(34:55):
What does it mean to be alonefor you?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Failure, okay good, okay, what else?
First word yeah what else?
Unloved, Failure unloved.
What else Unappreciated?
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Unappreciated.
What else Not needed, notneeded, failure unloved.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
What else appreciated , unappreciated what else not
needed not?
Needed what else unimportant?
Speaker 1 (35:27):
you're not important, you're unloved, you're not
appreciated, you're not needed.
What else?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
those are the main ones, I think when did that
happen in your life?
Speaker 1 (35:40):
when did you make up that decision about you, that
who you are is not important?
Oh, that's, that's mommy issuesall day, every day um so how
old were you when you made upthat decision about yourself?
About eight eight, okay, solet's look at that
eight-year-old self of yoursmade up that decision about
yourself, about eight, eight,okay.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
So let's look at that eight-year-old self of yours.
Child, we don't have time forthat, sorry.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Thank you, there's the answer.
She does not have time to lookat herself in that way, so she's
only going to stay at 80%.
And you know what?
Hey, it's not like we have todig deep and it's not like we
have to go back and like rehashall the shit from that time,
right.
But there is a time right thereat the age of eight, that you
(36:35):
decided I'm right there at theage of eight, that you decided
I'm not important, I'm notlovable, I'm not needed, like
why be here?
So what happened at that time?
What is it that happened in ashort, in a short, in a short?
Like doesn't have to be the bigstory.
What is it that happened?
Speaker 2 (36:53):
with your mom.
I don't know why I feel like Igot lipstick on my lip.
It could be just the reflection.
Um, well, a couple of things.
They.
They separated my parents, um,separated in between that time,
(37:18):
um and I.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I don't me because you had to take me, not because
you wanted me alright, so I'mgoing to pull up that energy and
that's okay, that's where it's.
That's the block in the heart.
Okay, that's the block in theheart.
It's like your heart.
When block in the heart, okay,that's the block in the heart
and you're it's, it's like yourheart.
(37:40):
When I see your heart, there'slike this nice, neat little
leather like box and it has alittle silver button right here
and it's like you're going toonly open it like this and then
you close it up and you open itlike this and then you close it
up and for the most part, youkeep it closed.
(38:05):
You keep it closed, hold on.
You open it for a very selectfew is what I'm hearing and you
like to keep it closed becauseyou don't trust people.
You don't trust that they'regoing to stick around.
(38:35):
Hold on, hold on.
Okay, they're showing me whenyou're eight.
It's funny.
I see you have on pants and youhave on black shoes and I see
you and your mom is there, andthere is this space and feeling
(39:00):
for you where you just feel theword non-existent keeps coming
up, but it's not like it's notnon-existent, it's like they,
they know you're there, you'rethere, they do love you.
But you have this experience ofum, you're so neutral.
Why is she so neutral in thatmoment?
(39:20):
Me or her, you hold on, sorry,I'm just I'm listening to
communication and talking andI've got this vision and I'm
trying to read the vision.
Why is she so neutral?
There's almost like this spaceof you just not being able to
(39:43):
contribute.
You can't help, you're not Ijust heard not worthy, not loved
, like that's your experience.
But there's, it's like a senseof helplessness, like you want
so badly in this moment, in thatmoment we'll just say, this
moment that eight-year-old wantsso badly to be held and to be
(40:04):
loved.
And it's as if you're juststanding over here on the
sideline waiting and nothing'shappening.
And when nothing's happening,what's happening for you is you
literally go into this veryneutral place.
That's interesting.
(40:25):
So I can see now what you dowith these two men.
Like what you need to do iscommand and demand what you need
and desire and you're not.
It's like you're patientlywaiting.
You're just going to wait.
I'll just wait here patiently,I'm going to wait and I'm going
(40:46):
to wait and I'm going to waitand I'm going to wait.
And your mom never shows up inthe way that you want her to
Hold on.
Is your grandmother big in thepicture too?
(41:06):
In your childhood you have agrandmother that's big in the
picture.
Your mom worked a lot.
Did your mom work a lot?
Yeah, and your grandmother wasthere.
She supported you and did mostof everything.
Okay, and your grandmother wasthere.
She supported you and did mostof everything.
Okay, I see that, like I seeher.
She comes in behind you.
She oh, I just got chills.
She's still around yourgrandmother.
(41:26):
Oh, I just got chills.
She comes in, Woo, she comes inbehind you.
Oh, I feel her.
She comes in behind you.
She literally puts her armsaround you and she pulls you
back Like she pulls you into her.
She knows and sees how hurt youare, but she also knows that
(41:48):
your mom has to do what she'sdoing and your grandmother feels
like.
At one point when you get older, you'll understand.
It's that whole mentality.
When you grow up you'llunderstand she's actually saying
she's sorry.
She ever said that there wasnothing she could do because she
didn't know how to do it anybetter.
So she did what she knew to doand that was to take the best
(42:09):
care of you that she could.
She has a lot of faith in you.
She says I can't hear her.
You need to stop worrying aboutthese men there's something
about you.
Stop worrying about these menbecause there's a better one
coming.
Sorry, there's a better onecoming, but it, it, it requires
(42:33):
you to go deep into this areaand this fear of you being alone
because you can't see howpowerful you are, and this story
around you, this, okay, solet's talk about this a little
bit.
The story about you and Iunderstand this.
You should be in a relationship.
(42:55):
How do you have, like, how canyou coach me?
You're not married, like.
You just need to unplug fromthat.
We're going to unplug you fromthat because that's a collective
consciousness that you don'teven need to be a part of.
So I'm going to unplug you fromthat and I want to plug you
back into your highest andpurest self and plug you back
into that God Christed lightenergy that comes down and just
(43:16):
pushes all that out, becausethat's not the truth and you
don't have to believe in thattruth.
When you believe in that truth,that's who's going to show up
for you, but you have to getthat.
You're looking for the peoplewho know that.
You've lived the school of hardknocks.
That's where you come from, andnobody else can do that unless
they're doing it in their life.
(43:38):
That's what has you be anexpert.
You've walked the talk.
Thank you for listening to thepodcast.
I would love to work with any ofthose who are looking to really
have a better understanding ofan area of life where they're
moving through.
Maybe you're feeling stuck,maybe you're feeling stagnant,
maybe you just need clarity oryou need some reassurance of is
(44:02):
this what I'm feeling, is thiswhat is going on?
Because maybe you're secondguessing yourself.
I remember I used to have avery bad habit of second
guessing myself, and so the workthat I do can confirm things.
The work that I do can help youremove blocks and get unstuck,
and there is a link below in theshow notes.
If you want to go ahead andschedule a discovery session
(44:23):
with me, I would love to workwith you.
So until our next show, which isgoing to be on gene keys and a
journey with a dear friend ofmine who moved to she moved to
her and her family.
They moved to Costa Rica andthat trip opened up a lot of
(44:47):
things for her and her family atthat time and her life did a
total 180.
So we're going to hear a lotabout that on the next story and
there's going to be aspects ofit that may be triggering in
this conversation.
There may be aspects that areincredibly inspiring.
I find the journey of her andher family very inspiring.
There were a lot of changes,and so we'll hear more about
(45:09):
that in the next show.
I look forward to working withall of you.
Thank you for being here,thanks for being a part of this
amazing healing adventure, anduntil next time, talk with you
soon.
Bye.
Thank you for coming on thishealing adventure today.
If you're starting to see howeverything is falling into place
for you, consider rating theshow and sharing it with one of
(45:30):
your friends.
Keep that spirit alive and joinme.
Next week, same place, sametime.
Have a.
Next week, same place, sametime.
Have a great week.
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