Bonus Episode: Understanding Problematic Thinking Patterns

This is the third mini bonus episode that looks at rigid thinking which is quite common in both adults and children.  It often leads to frustration and even conflict within yourself and in your relationships. In this episode, we explain problematic thinking patterns, identify lots of examples and how to catch and change your thinking to help you live more effectively to get what you want and deserve.  

Time Stamps

1:40 Definition of Rigid thinking and its various names:

• All or nothing thinking
• Black and white thinking
• Dichotomous thinking

3:01 LImits of Dichotomous thinking - creates conflict because it 

• Limits our ability to take another person’s perspective
• It often leads to the two categories of right and wrong

4:35 There is an impact of your words on both yourself and on others

5:04 These are cognitive skills - understanding and observing your thoughts

6:20 Label thoughts as “a thought is just a thought” — Planning thoughts, worry thoughts, judgmental thoughts

7:50 Society teaches us and reinforces all or nothing and dichotomous thinking

8:45 First step is to recognize your thoughts

• Look for problematic thinking patterns (formerly known as thinking errors)
  • All or nothing thinking
  • Catastrophizing or predicting negative outcomes
  • Mindreading
  • Overgeneralization
  • Mental filter
  • Disqualifying the positive
  • Emotional reasoning - 
  • Should statements
  • Labeling
  • Personalization

12:28 Strategies: 

1. Listen to yourself - observe your thoughts
2. Catch it
3. A thought is just a thought
4. Don’t believe everything you think
5. Imagery of passing clouds

13:13 Learn to think dialectically

• Ask what’s missing
• Adding other perspectives 
• Use the phrase, “its a feeling, not a fact”
• Use the magic “AND” to make a dialectic statement 
• Change your extreme words (ex - always —> often)
• See the negatives as well as the positive aspects of a situation

Resources:  

Handout of Problematic Thinking Patterns (formerly called thinking errors)

Leslie-ism: When it comes to your problematic thinking pattern - look for it, catch it, and change it

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury.  A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.