How To Manage Parental Overwhelm with Special Guest Dr. Kiki Felhling

Parenting is an overwhelming job with endless meals, cleanups, and activities. But on top of that, there’s the general overwhelm we're all feeling in our current world, and there are skills you can learn to help manage that daily overwhelm. In this episode Leslie speaks with special guest, Dr. Kiki Fehling. Dr. Kiki Fehling, a licensed psychologist, DBT expert, author and speaker, discusses the transformative impact of DBT on her life and the lives of her clients. Together Leslie and Kiki focus on specific DBT skills that can directly help parents who feel overwhelmed, including Mindfulness, TIPP, and Opposite Action Skills which can help both you and your children. 

Time Stamps

3:05 Why Kiki is committed to getting DBT resources out to the public

5:13 Distinguishing between DBT Therapy and DBT Skills

• The four Modules of DBT
• These are life skills to help you deal with the hard parts of life

7:15 How do we talk to parents about the overwhelm

• Start with mindfulness
• Definition of mindfulness
• Increasing one’s awareness of the Overwhelm

11:10 Jon Kabat Zinn’s Quote:  “if our lives depended on our awareness of our breathing we’d all be dead

12:48 Mindfulness is the foundation of DBT

13:00 TIPP Skills to help us regulate our nervous system

• 13:25 Paced Breathing Skill
• 14:48 Tip your Temperature - mammalian Dive Reflex
• 16:48 Intense Exercise
• 17:47 Progressive Muscle Relaxation

19:46 Opposite Action Skill

24:50 Dealing with Overwhelm

• Using your TIPP Skills IS Opposite Action

25:25 Start with yourself: Model it and that teaches your child to cope

• Co-regulation is when the parent calms themselves down

27:06 Kids are growing up with Mindfulness as an everyday word

28:55 “ Living Therapeutically” is Leslie’s term for a way of living without therapy that continues to help you learn and grow (a newsletter will be coming soon on this)

Leslie-ism: Practice Naming Your Emotions

Resources:

Dr. Kiki Fehling’s Website

• Self-Directed DBT Skills: 3 Month DBT Workbook
• DBT Cards for Coping Skills
• Kiki Fehlings Tik Tok @dbtkiki
• Kiki Fehling Instagram.

TIPP Skills from DBT Therapy Handout

• Tip your Temperature Video
• Intense Exercise Video

Opposit Action Skills Video from DBT Therapy

Jon Kabat Zinn’s Website

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Camila Salazar, and