July 29, 2025 • 20 mins
Drawing inspiration from Ousama Alshurafa's teachings and book "The Afterlife Manual," this episode explores a powerful paradigm shift: recognizing that worldly causes (asbab) are not true agents of change or benefit, but rather veils through which Allah works His decree. Money doesn't benefit us with Allah's permission... rather, Allah benefits us through money. Medicine doesn't heal us...Allah heals us through medicine. This subtle language shift reflects a profound difference in belief and transforms our relationship with the world.
The concept connects beautifully with my coaching framework (Circumstances, Nervous System Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, Results). When we understand that circumstances are neutral and don't cause our emotions – our thoughts about them do – we reclaim tremendous agency. This perspective doesn't mean disengaging from the world; it means engaging with clarity and trust.
This episode touches on many practical applications, like noticing your language about causes and effects. When you catch yourself putting circumstances before Allah, gently correct yourself. Before taking medicine or making investments, intend in your heart: "I'm turning to Allah to bring about the benefit these means can provide." As you cultivate this awareness, you'll find greater peace, regardless of external conditions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizable.
Successful Now your host, drKamal Atar.
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Recently, I've been diving deepinto the work of Osama Ashrafa,
an unconventional motivationalspeaker and the creator of
(00:26):
Muslim Hub.
I recently finished his book,the Afterlife Manual, which is
an excellent read and I dorecommend it and during reading
that book, I came across manyconcepts that I think are
excellent for us Muslims toadopt, and he definitely takes a
very fresh and new take on it.
I'm going to be talking about alot of his work, but also
(00:47):
integrating my ideas.
That way, I can give you guys apractical framework of how to
achieve of what he teaches.
He talks about going beyond themeans, seeing the real source,
which is a shift from focusingon worldly causes to recognizing
that Allah is the ultimate wata'ala is the ultimate origin.
He talks about the illusion ofasbab, the situations and the
(01:09):
circumstances around you, theidea that causes that we see are
veils and Allah, subhanahu wata'ala, uses this veil to keep
himself hidden, just so we canfind him in the signs, the signs
of this world.
What I want to emphasize isthat, his point of Allah being
the origin of everything, it isimportant for us to remember
(01:30):
that over and over again.
Come to this, teaching fromdifferent directions, because
this does ensure an optimalmental health for a human being,
and, of course, there are otherreligious benefits for it, but
that's what I want to emphasizetoday.
This world is an illusioncreated by Allah so we can look
at these signs and recognize Himalone.
We have agency that goes beyondthe asbab that Allah gave us.
(01:54):
These asbab are anything andeverything that is around us or
even within us, including ourintelligence, our family, our
feelings, our income, our house,our friendships and our
relationships.
Not only when you trulyunderstand these concepts, but
when you implement them, theyhave a profound effect on your
life, the concept being that theworld is an illusion and Allah
(02:18):
is the primary, true originatorbehind everything.
The perspective we're going totake today is going to challenge
you to see beyond the physical,beyond the circumstances and
into the heart of reality.
We do rely on material causesmoney, medicine, other people's
apologies All of these thingsare veils, any material cause,
(02:42):
and there are subtle shifts thatwe go through in our language
that shift our understanding andtransform our sense of
responsibility, bring us closertowards peace and trust.
And all of this is UstadOsama's work.
But I'm gonna take it anotherstep forward to make it easier
for us to apply and connectthese insights to the coaching
framework that I use.
(03:04):
Let's start with this questionwhat if everything you see,
touch, taste, smell, hear,anything you're using your five
senses for is not the ultimatereality, but rather an interface
?
He uses an example of virtualreality headset.
It gives you information thatfeels real, but you know it's a
projection.
(03:24):
Similarly, the world weexperience through our five
senses is virtual reality.
The things that seem to causecertain effects in our life,
like medicine, seems to cause acure.
Allah does not need themedicine because he causes the
cure.
This cause, this sabab ofmedicine is an illusion.
And when we say illusion, itdoes not mean fake.
(03:46):
It means that cause isultimately not what it appears
to be.
Our children, our resources orthe lack thereof is not the
ultimate source of benefit orharm.
These are simply the tools bywhich Allah SWT, who is
Al-Fattah, the opener, al-wahhab, the giver, al-shafir, the
healer, veils himself.
(04:07):
It's a way of testing us If wewere given the equipment and the
senses to comprehend himdirectly.
Then faith would be easy.
There would be no test.
So Ustaz Osama Al-Sharfaexplains that Allah SWT cannot
be perceived by the mind.
Instead, our mind is designedto perceive the world through
the senses.
But since the senses arelimited, anything beyond the
(04:32):
means of this world is veiled.
So it is our job to recognizethat while we are navigating the
world of cause and effect money, medicine, education these are
not true agents.
They are curtains behind whichAllah SWT works His decree.
Understanding this is not justan abstract idea.
It changes how we speak, how wethink and how healthy we feel
(04:53):
in our mind and body.
And, like I always tell you,language is powerful.
So he noted in his book thatsometimes we say money can
benefit you with Allah'spermission.
While it seems like aninnocuous statement, notice the
order of causality.
The subject is money.
Money can benefit you withAllah's permission, and Allah's
permission is secondary.
(05:13):
So if you listen closely, thestructure implies that money on
its own might benefit you andthen only later does Allah allow
that benefit.
So now compare it to thesentence that he wrote in the
book that's a correction whichsays Allah, if he wills, will
benefit you through money.
Here, through the change oflanguage, allah, subhanahu wa
ta'ala is the direct agent.
(05:34):
Money becomes the means.
It is a very subtle change, butit reflects a profound
difference in belief A versionthat places money first, even if
you qualify it with Allah'spermission, and the second
version places Allah first.
The means, which is the money,comes after.
So what I want to do is giveyou more examples so it's easier
(05:55):
to understand, so I can thendevelop the concept more.
The medicine healed me byAllah's permission becomes Allah
SWT healed me and he chose thismedicine as the means.
She forgave me because Iapologized.
Become Allah SWT softened herheart to forgive me and my
apology was the door that heused.
(06:15):
I passed the exam because AllahSWT gave me the capacity to
work hard.
That becomes Allah granted mesuccess and allowed me to work
hard.
Or things like a therapisthelped me heal because Allah
granted him that education.
That becomes Allah subhanahu wata'ala guided me to healing and
used the therapist as his tool.
(06:36):
The networking event landed methe job because Allah gave me
the resources to attend theevent.
That becomes Allah wrote thisjob for me and used that event
as the cause.
Now I can go on and on, butnotice there's each shifted
statement places Allah SWT first.
The means remain.
We don't throw away themedicine or the apology, or the
(06:59):
hard work or the savings.
We simply see them for whatthey are, as not being the
original source.
Belief in Allah comes first.
So now let me connect thisconcept to coaching that would
help you implement this a littlebit better.
I teach the formula C-NIR.
That stands for Circumstances,nervous System Thoughts,
(07:21):
emotions, actions and Resresults.
The circumstances are the asbab, they're the situations outside
of you.
They're out of your control.
Someone cut you in traffic,your child spilled milk.
Your boss gave you a criticalperformance review.
These are all facts in theworld.
The N for the nervous system,thought refers to how your mind
(07:43):
interprets the world whilewearing the virtual reality
headset.
It gives you information.
Your brain attaches meaning tothe events through language.
You don't just sit in traffic,you're experiencing it with your
mind and body.
You can think this is annoying,people are late, why can't
people drive properly?
Or you might think this is anopportunity to listen to a
(08:05):
podcast.
Then comes emotion.
That is the E in the formula.
Your interpretation, yourperception through the virtual
reality headset create youremotions in the body.
Emotions like anger,frustration, joy, gratitude,
sadness or even indifference.
These emotions give fuel toactions.
(08:25):
Actions can only flow from whatyou're feeling.
High vibration emotions likegratitude, curiosity, lead to
constructive behaviors.
Low vibration emotions likeapathy or jealousy, may lead to
inaction or destructivereactions.
Then comes the results.
These are the outcomes.
When you lash out if you feeldisrespected, the result might
(08:47):
be disconnection in yourrelationship.
When you act from a place ofcuriosity and trust, you might
build deeper relationships.
So why am I telling you this ina discussion about illusion of
the world?
Because this is the frameworkthat helps you to see your
perceptions shape your reality.
And this approach focuses onwhat goes beyond changing your
behavior, like just stop yellingor save more or meditate every
(09:11):
day.
All of those actions areimportant, but that's only a
very shallow level of awareness.
The higher levels of awarenessask you to recognize your
emotions and choose themdifferently.
They ask you to examine yourthoughts and decide which one
serves you the best.
(09:33):
And this level of awarenesshelps you understand that your
thoughts, not your circumstances, cause your emotions.
The situations, the meansaround you, the asbab, never
cause your emotions.
This is one of the highestlevel of awareness we can
observe a situation, recognizeour initial thought about it,
our protective, ego-driveninterpretation, which is usually
the default, and then choose athought that aligns with your
(09:54):
values and higher trust in Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala.
That aligns with your valuesand higher trust in Allah,
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So then comes the highest levelof awareness, and that is, you
get to see all of thesecircumstances as neutral.
This is where spiritual growthis very much connected with
personal growth.
A circumstance of your kidsbeing away for two weeks during
summer vacation to be with theirgrandparents this is neutral.
(10:17):
It's neither inherentlypositive or negative.
It does not cause yourhappiness or your sadness.
Your thoughts about thesecircumstances do so.
The idea of neutrality ofcircumstance that your asbab are
an illusion, that's whatgraduates you to a higher level
of mental health, and this wholeidea can be challenging because
(10:38):
you're conditioned sincechildhood to believe that
certain circumstances areobjectively good Getting married
, having children, being wealthyand others are bad Failing
exams, being single, losingmoney but at a deeper level,
they are all neutral.
The meaning you assign to themdetermines your emotional
experience.
(10:59):
That's what's going todetermine how charged the
circumstance is for you andthat's what's going to determine
if you can actually see thecircumstance as a suburb, an
illusion, and see Allah's wisdombehind it or not.
Now I'm going to make somethingvery clear.
This does not mean you become arobot and detach completely.
(11:19):
It just means that you reclaimyour agency.
If you understand that yourmind's initial interpretation
filtered through socialconditioning, personal history
fears the lower brain, if youunderstand that that is not the
only possible interpretation,you can choose differently.
That is extremely freeing, andthis is where the illusion comes
(11:47):
in.
It comes from recognizing thateven the circumstances
themselves marriage, money,children are not true agents of
your happiness or sorrow.
They are the means throughwhich Allah SWT tests you and
blesses you.
They are the means throughwhich Allah swt tests you and
blesses you.
If you think my happinessdepends on a spouse on a
subconscious level, or that yourpeace depends on your bank
account, then the moment thosethings change, your world
(12:07):
collapses.
That's because you've placedthe asbab before Allah swt.
You've put charge into thecircumstances Instead.
Imagine thinking Allah grantsme happiness and uses my spouse
as one of the ways to do it,allah grants me peace and uses
my financial stability as a mean.
Then, if the means change, youcan anchor yourself in the trust
(12:31):
that Allah's plan is unfoldingand he will bring me benefit
through some means or another.
This is what non-attachment fromsabbath looks like.
You use the means but you don'tdepend on them.
You know that this sabbath isneutral and you don't have
emotional charge attached to it.
And this becomes especiallypowerful when dealing with
(12:52):
difficult emotions like jealousy.
She has a nicer house, he ismore successful.
Why did she get married and Ididn't?
Why did her husband take her tovacation and mine didn't?
If circumstances are neutraland Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala,
determines the benefit throughyour mind in these circumstances
, then jealousy loses its basisBecause in that case, the
(13:15):
vacation, the marriage, thehouse becomes a neutral
circumstance, even if it belongsto others.
You will have a choice to seeothers blessings as a part of
their test and your blessings asa part of yours.
You can celebrate with themwithout feeling that their means
diminish yours.
You cannot see the sabbub, themeans and the circumstances as
(13:38):
an illusion if you'reemotionally charged by them.
If you believe that yourcircumstances create your
emotions, you will stayentangled with them.
When your job defines yourself-worth, you will be
constantly riding a rollercoaster of pride and panic based
on your performance reviews.
When you fall into the trap ofmarriage becoming the cause of
(14:00):
your happiness.
You will feel ecstatic whenthings are smooth and devastated
when they're in tension.
This is the quickest way oflosing internal peace attaching
your emotions to a circumstanceand, fortunately for us, that is
just a mistake that we'remaking.
We can unlearn this pattern.
As long as you think that yourcircumstances cause your
(14:21):
emotions, you won't be able toseparate yourself from the world
.
You will remain attached to thestory that this thing made me
feel this way, and if you can'tseparate, you cannot imagine
those circumstances as anillusion.
You will continue to dependheavily on them and as long as
they continue to feel thispowerful, you will struggle to
see Allah SWT as the truecreator of these circumstances.
(14:44):
This is why it is extremelyimportant for you to start
thinking of these asbab as anillusion, because only then can
you see the reality of Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala through and
beyond the means of this world.
And this has immense practicalapplication.
Let's say, if you're laid offfrom the job, the initial
thought might be I lost myincome, I'm in trouble.
(15:06):
Your nervous system willtrigger fear and your attached
sense of security through youremployment will trigger.
But if you see the job as acircumstance neutral and you
remind yourself Allah, subhanahuwa ta'ala, is the sustainer.
He used this job to provide forme.
He can provide through anothermeans.
(15:26):
The emotional charge dissipates,the shift from panic to trust
becomes easier.
This does not mean that you'reignoring the reality of needing
to find work.
It means that you act from aplace of stability rather than
desperation, because that'swhat's going to make it likely
that you do find the next job.
Or let's say your friend getsengaged and you don't.
(15:48):
Your thought might be I'm beingleft behind.
This isn't fair, sometimesunderlying tones of jealousy,
and that chains you to thecircumstance.
If the friend getting engagedis no longer neutral to you, it
has emotional charge attachedthen it will be nearly
impossible for you to reframe itto yourself towards the healthy
(16:09):
side meaning it will be hardfor you to think that this
engagement is her blessing.
And I have a different path Foryou to reframe any circumstance
for you to see through yourvirtual reality headset, you
have to make the circumstanceneutral so you can see the other
side, so you can give yourcircumstance another meaning.
(16:30):
That happens because when youremove the emotional charge, you
regain your agency.
You see that your thoughtsabout the circumstance, not the
circumstance itself, has createdyour emotion and, beyond that,
you're able to see that Allah isthe only and the real source of
sustenance, security and peace,and you use the means without
(16:53):
being enslaved by them.
If your child spills juice onthe carpet just as the guests
arrived, your initial thoughtsmight be this is a disaster.
Why does this always happen tome, creating anger,
embarrassment, resentment.
But if you recognize that thisis a neutral circumstance and
you take the charge away from it, you can reframe it as this is
(17:16):
just juice on the carpet.
Allah is teaching me patiencethrough my child, and you might
even have the opportunity torespond calmly.
The neutral circumstance, theactions of a child, become a
sabab through which you'reseeing Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala's plan play out, whichmight be to make you a more
patient human, along with otherthings.
(17:37):
So from now on, I want be tomake you a more patient human,
along with other things.
So from now on, I want you tonotice your language, start
listening to how you and othersspeak about causes and effects
and if you catch yourself sayinganything that puts the sabab
before Allah, subhanahu wata'ala, gently correct yourself.
Practice neutrality of theworld around you.
Correct yourself, practiceneutrality of the world around
(18:01):
you.
If something happens and itinherently looks positive or
negative to you, challengeyourself to see the neutrality
in it.
Ask yourself what do I want tomake this mean?
What thought can I choose here?
And you will notice the nextthought that the brain offers
you will be much more elevatedthan the first one.
Reconnect with all of theillusions of the world with
intention.
Before you take medicine,before you invest, before you
(18:24):
accept an invite, intend in yourheart I'm turning to Allah SWT
to bring about the benefit thatthese means can provide, that he
has placed in front of me.
This makes all of the means andthe asbab an act of worship
rather than an act ofdeclaration of independence from
Allah's design.
Continue to work to elevateyour awareness and, of course,
(18:46):
be patient with yourself.
And while I tried to do justiceto this concept because I was
integrating a lot, I'm still abeginner student of the teacher
Usama Iyad Al-Sharfa.
What I'm sharing is my currentunderstanding, but as I continue
to learn more, I will sharefurther with you guys.
To me, coaching, spirituality,mental health are extremely
(19:07):
closely linked.
Understanding the illusiondoesn't mean that you stop
engaging with the world.
It just means that you do itthrough the place of clarity and
trust.
When women coach with me, theygo through the levels of
awareness.
Eventually they start to seehow their thoughts are creating
their emotions and finallythey're able to separate
themselves from theircircumstances and start to see
(19:28):
them as neutral.
This is super powerful.
With that, I pray to Allah.
Grant me and all of us theclarity to see beyond the veils
of this world.
Help us trust that everybenefit comes from you alone and
that the means you provide arethe only path to your mercy.
O Allah, remove the emotionalweight that I attach to my
(19:50):
circumstances and let my heartfind peace in your decree.
And let my heart find peace inyour decree.
Strengthen my faith so that Iplace you before every cause and
guide me to act with sincerity,patience and gratitude.
Ameen, ya Rabbul Ameen, pleasekeep me in your duas.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast.
Apply tools that you learn inthis podcast and your life will
be unrecognizable.
Successful Now your host, drKamal Atar.
Hello, hello, hello everyone.
Peace and blessings be upon allof you.
Recently, I've been diving deepinto the work of Osama Ashrafa,
an unconventional motivationalspeaker and the creator of
(00:26):
Muslim Hub.
I recently finished his book,the Afterlife Manual, which is
an excellent read and I dorecommend it and during reading
that book, I came across manyconcepts that I think are
excellent for us Muslims toadopt, and he definitely takes a
very fresh and new take on it.
I'm going to be talking about alot of his work, but also
(00:47):
integrating my ideas.
That way, I can give you guys apractical framework of how to
achieve of what he teaches.
He talks about going beyond themeans, seeing the real source,
which is a shift from focusingon worldly causes to recognizing
that Allah is the ultimate wata'ala is the ultimate origin.
He talks about the illusion ofasbab, the situations and the
(01:09):
circumstances around you, theidea that causes that we see are
veils and Allah, subhanahu wata'ala, uses this veil to keep
himself hidden, just so we canfind him in the signs, the signs
of this world.
What I want to emphasize isthat, his point of Allah being
the origin of everything, it isimportant for us to remember
(01:30):
that over and over again.
Come to this, teaching fromdifferent directions, because
this does ensure an optimalmental health for a human being,
and, of course, there are otherreligious benefits for it, but
that's what I want to emphasizetoday.
This world is an illusioncreated by Allah so we can look
at these signs and recognize Himalone.
We have agency that goes beyondthe asbab that Allah gave us.
(01:54):
These asbab are anything andeverything that is around us or
even within us, including ourintelligence, our family, our
feelings, our income, our house,our friendships and our
relationships.
Not only when you trulyunderstand these concepts, but
when you implement them, theyhave a profound effect on your
life, the concept being that theworld is an illusion and Allah
(02:18):
is the primary, true originatorbehind everything.
The perspective we're going totake today is going to challenge
you to see beyond the physical,beyond the circumstances and
into the heart of reality.
We do rely on material causesmoney, medicine, other people's
apologies All of these thingsare veils, any material cause,
(02:42):
and there are subtle shifts thatwe go through in our language
that shift our understanding andtransform our sense of
responsibility, bring us closertowards peace and trust.
And all of this is UstadOsama's work.
But I'm gonna take it anotherstep forward to make it easier
for us to apply and connectthese insights to the coaching
framework that I use.
(03:04):
Let's start with this questionwhat if everything you see,
touch, taste, smell, hear,anything you're using your five
senses for is not the ultimatereality, but rather an interface
?
He uses an example of virtualreality headset.
It gives you information thatfeels real, but you know it's a
projection.
(03:24):
Similarly, the world weexperience through our five
senses is virtual reality.
The things that seem to causecertain effects in our life,
like medicine, seems to cause acure.
Allah does not need themedicine because he causes the
cure.
This cause, this sabab ofmedicine is an illusion.
And when we say illusion, itdoes not mean fake.
(03:46):
It means that cause isultimately not what it appears
to be.
Our children, our resources orthe lack thereof is not the
ultimate source of benefit orharm.
These are simply the tools bywhich Allah SWT, who is
Al-Fattah, the opener, al-wahhab, the giver, al-shafir, the
healer, veils himself.
(04:07):
It's a way of testing us If wewere given the equipment and the
senses to comprehend himdirectly.
Then faith would be easy.
There would be no test.
So Ustaz Osama Al-Sharfaexplains that Allah SWT cannot
be perceived by the mind.
Instead, our mind is designedto perceive the world through
the senses.
But since the senses arelimited, anything beyond the
(04:32):
means of this world is veiled.
So it is our job to recognizethat while we are navigating the
world of cause and effect money, medicine, education these are
not true agents.
They are curtains behind whichAllah SWT works His decree.
Understanding this is not justan abstract idea.
It changes how we speak, how wethink and how healthy we feel
(04:53):
in our mind and body.
And, like I always tell you,language is powerful.
So he noted in his book thatsometimes we say money can
benefit you with Allah'spermission.
While it seems like aninnocuous statement, notice the
order of causality.
The subject is money.
Money can benefit you withAllah's permission, and Allah's
permission is secondary.
(05:13):
So if you listen closely, thestructure implies that money on
its own might benefit you andthen only later does Allah allow
that benefit.
So now compare it to thesentence that he wrote in the
book that's a correction whichsays Allah, if he wills, will
benefit you through money.
Here, through the change oflanguage, allah, subhanahu wa
ta'ala is the direct agent.
(05:34):
Money becomes the means.
It is a very subtle change, butit reflects a profound
difference in belief A versionthat places money first, even if
you qualify it with Allah'spermission, and the second
version places Allah first.
The means, which is the money,comes after.
So what I want to do is giveyou more examples so it's easier
(05:55):
to understand, so I can thendevelop the concept more.
The medicine healed me byAllah's permission becomes Allah
SWT healed me and he chose thismedicine as the means.
She forgave me because Iapologized.
Become Allah SWT softened herheart to forgive me and my
apology was the door that heused.
(06:15):
I passed the exam because AllahSWT gave me the capacity to
work hard.
That becomes Allah granted mesuccess and allowed me to work
hard.
Or things like a therapisthelped me heal because Allah
granted him that education.
That becomes Allah subhanahu wata'ala guided me to healing and
used the therapist as his tool.
(06:36):
The networking event landed methe job because Allah gave me
the resources to attend theevent.
That becomes Allah wrote thisjob for me and used that event
as the cause.
Now I can go on and on, butnotice there's each shifted
statement places Allah SWT first.
The means remain.
We don't throw away themedicine or the apology, or the
(06:59):
hard work or the savings.
We simply see them for whatthey are, as not being the
original source.
Belief in Allah comes first.
So now let me connect thisconcept to coaching that would
help you implement this a littlebit better.
I teach the formula C-NIR.
That stands for Circumstances,nervous System Thoughts,
(07:21):
emotions, actions and Resresults.
The circumstances are the asbab, they're the situations outside
of you.
They're out of your control.
Someone cut you in traffic,your child spilled milk.
Your boss gave you a criticalperformance review.
These are all facts in theworld.
The N for the nervous system,thought refers to how your mind
(07:43):
interprets the world whilewearing the virtual reality
headset.
It gives you information.
Your brain attaches meaning tothe events through language.
You don't just sit in traffic,you're experiencing it with your
mind and body.
You can think this is annoying,people are late, why can't
people drive properly?
Or you might think this is anopportunity to listen to a
(08:05):
podcast.
Then comes emotion.
That is the E in the formula.
Your interpretation, yourperception through the virtual
reality headset create youremotions in the body.
Emotions like anger,frustration, joy, gratitude,
sadness or even indifference.
These emotions give fuel toactions.
(08:25):
Actions can only flow from whatyou're feeling.
High vibration emotions likegratitude, curiosity, lead to
constructive behaviors.
Low vibration emotions likeapathy or jealousy, may lead to
inaction or destructivereactions.
Then comes the results.
These are the outcomes.
When you lash out if you feeldisrespected, the result might
(08:47):
be disconnection in yourrelationship.
When you act from a place ofcuriosity and trust, you might
build deeper relationships.
So why am I telling you this ina discussion about illusion of
the world?
Because this is the frameworkthat helps you to see your
perceptions shape your reality.
And this approach focuses onwhat goes beyond changing your
behavior, like just stop yellingor save more or meditate every
(09:11):
day.
All of those actions areimportant, but that's only a
very shallow level of awareness.
The higher levels of awarenessask you to recognize your
emotions and choose themdifferently.
They ask you to examine yourthoughts and decide which one
serves you the best.
(09:33):
And this level of awarenesshelps you understand that your
thoughts, not your circumstances, cause your emotions.
The situations, the meansaround you, the asbab, never
cause your emotions.
This is one of the highestlevel of awareness we can
observe a situation, recognizeour initial thought about it,
our protective, ego-driveninterpretation, which is usually
the default, and then choose athought that aligns with your
(09:54):
values and higher trust in Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala.
That aligns with your valuesand higher trust in Allah,
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So then comes the highest levelof awareness, and that is, you
get to see all of thesecircumstances as neutral.
This is where spiritual growthis very much connected with
personal growth.
A circumstance of your kidsbeing away for two weeks during
summer vacation to be with theirgrandparents this is neutral.
(10:17):
It's neither inherentlypositive or negative.
It does not cause yourhappiness or your sadness.
Your thoughts about thesecircumstances do so.
The idea of neutrality ofcircumstance that your asbab are
an illusion, that's whatgraduates you to a higher level
of mental health, and this wholeidea can be challenging because
(10:38):
you're conditioned sincechildhood to believe that
certain circumstances areobjectively good Getting married
, having children, being wealthyand others are bad Failing
exams, being single, losingmoney but at a deeper level,
they are all neutral.
The meaning you assign to themdetermines your emotional
experience.
(10:59):
That's what's going todetermine how charged the
circumstance is for you andthat's what's going to determine
if you can actually see thecircumstance as a suburb, an
illusion, and see Allah's wisdombehind it or not.
Now I'm going to make somethingvery clear.
This does not mean you become arobot and detach completely.
(11:19):
It just means that you reclaimyour agency.
If you understand that yourmind's initial interpretation
filtered through socialconditioning, personal history
fears the lower brain, if youunderstand that that is not the
only possible interpretation,you can choose differently.
That is extremely freeing, andthis is where the illusion comes
(11:47):
in.
It comes from recognizing thateven the circumstances
themselves marriage, money,children are not true agents of
your happiness or sorrow.
They are the means throughwhich Allah SWT tests you and
blesses you.
They are the means throughwhich Allah swt tests you and
blesses you.
If you think my happinessdepends on a spouse on a
subconscious level, or that yourpeace depends on your bank
account, then the moment thosethings change, your world
(12:07):
collapses.
That's because you've placedthe asbab before Allah swt.
You've put charge into thecircumstances Instead.
Imagine thinking Allah grantsme happiness and uses my spouse
as one of the ways to do it,allah grants me peace and uses
my financial stability as a mean.
Then, if the means change, youcan anchor yourself in the trust
(12:31):
that Allah's plan is unfoldingand he will bring me benefit
through some means or another.
This is what non-attachment fromsabbath looks like.
You use the means but you don'tdepend on them.
You know that this sabbath isneutral and you don't have
emotional charge attached to it.
And this becomes especiallypowerful when dealing with
(12:52):
difficult emotions like jealousy.
She has a nicer house, he ismore successful.
Why did she get married and Ididn't?
Why did her husband take her tovacation and mine didn't?
If circumstances are neutraland Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala,
determines the benefit throughyour mind in these circumstances
, then jealousy loses its basisBecause in that case, the
(13:15):
vacation, the marriage, thehouse becomes a neutral
circumstance, even if it belongsto others.
You will have a choice to seeothers blessings as a part of
their test and your blessings asa part of yours.
You can celebrate with themwithout feeling that their means
diminish yours.
You cannot see the sabbub, themeans and the circumstances as
(13:38):
an illusion if you'reemotionally charged by them.
If you believe that yourcircumstances create your
emotions, you will stayentangled with them.
When your job defines yourself-worth, you will be
constantly riding a rollercoaster of pride and panic based
on your performance reviews.
When you fall into the trap ofmarriage becoming the cause of
(14:00):
your happiness.
You will feel ecstatic whenthings are smooth and devastated
when they're in tension.
This is the quickest way oflosing internal peace attaching
your emotions to a circumstanceand, fortunately for us, that is
just a mistake that we'remaking.
We can unlearn this pattern.
As long as you think that yourcircumstances cause your
(14:21):
emotions, you won't be able toseparate yourself from the world
.
You will remain attached to thestory that this thing made me
feel this way, and if you can'tseparate, you cannot imagine
those circumstances as anillusion.
You will continue to dependheavily on them and as long as
they continue to feel thispowerful, you will struggle to
see Allah SWT as the truecreator of these circumstances.
(14:44):
This is why it is extremelyimportant for you to start
thinking of these asbab as anillusion, because only then can
you see the reality of Allahsubhanahu wa ta'ala through and
beyond the means of this world.
And this has immense practicalapplication.
Let's say, if you're laid offfrom the job, the initial
thought might be I lost myincome, I'm in trouble.
(15:06):
Your nervous system willtrigger fear and your attached
sense of security through youremployment will trigger.
But if you see the job as acircumstance neutral and you
remind yourself Allah, subhanahuwa ta'ala, is the sustainer.
He used this job to provide forme.
He can provide through anothermeans.
(15:26):
The emotional charge dissipates,the shift from panic to trust
becomes easier.
This does not mean that you'reignoring the reality of needing
to find work.
It means that you act from aplace of stability rather than
desperation, because that'swhat's going to make it likely
that you do find the next job.
Or let's say your friend getsengaged and you don't.
(15:48):
Your thought might be I'm beingleft behind.
This isn't fair, sometimesunderlying tones of jealousy,
and that chains you to thecircumstance.
If the friend getting engagedis no longer neutral to you, it
has emotional charge attachedthen it will be nearly
impossible for you to reframe itto yourself towards the healthy
(16:09):
side meaning it will be hardfor you to think that this
engagement is her blessing.
And I have a different path Foryou to reframe any circumstance
for you to see through yourvirtual reality headset, you
have to make the circumstanceneutral so you can see the other
side, so you can give yourcircumstance another meaning.
(16:30):
That happens because when youremove the emotional charge, you
regain your agency.
You see that your thoughtsabout the circumstance, not the
circumstance itself, has createdyour emotion and, beyond that,
you're able to see that Allah isthe only and the real source of
sustenance, security and peace,and you use the means without
(16:53):
being enslaved by them.
If your child spills juice onthe carpet just as the guests
arrived, your initial thoughtsmight be this is a disaster.
Why does this always happen tome, creating anger,
embarrassment, resentment.
But if you recognize that thisis a neutral circumstance and
you take the charge away from it, you can reframe it as this is
(17:16):
just juice on the carpet.
Allah is teaching me patiencethrough my child, and you might
even have the opportunity torespond calmly.
The neutral circumstance, theactions of a child, become a
sabab through which you'reseeing Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala's plan play out, whichmight be to make you a more
patient human, along with otherthings.
(17:37):
So from now on, I want be tomake you a more patient human,
along with other things.
So from now on, I want you tonotice your language, start
listening to how you and othersspeak about causes and effects
and if you catch yourself sayinganything that puts the sabab
before Allah, subhanahu wata'ala, gently correct yourself.
Practice neutrality of theworld around you.
Correct yourself, practiceneutrality of the world around
(18:01):
you.
If something happens and itinherently looks positive or
negative to you, challengeyourself to see the neutrality
in it.
Ask yourself what do I want tomake this mean?
What thought can I choose here?
And you will notice the nextthought that the brain offers
you will be much more elevatedthan the first one.
Reconnect with all of theillusions of the world with
intention.
Before you take medicine,before you invest, before you
(18:24):
accept an invite, intend in yourheart I'm turning to Allah SWT
to bring about the benefit thatthese means can provide, that he
has placed in front of me.
This makes all of the means andthe asbab an act of worship
rather than an act ofdeclaration of independence from
Allah's design.
Continue to work to elevateyour awareness and, of course,
(18:46):
be patient with yourself.
And while I tried to do justiceto this concept because I was
integrating a lot, I'm still abeginner student of the teacher
Usama Iyad Al-Sharfa.
What I'm sharing is my currentunderstanding, but as I continue
to learn more, I will sharefurther with you guys.
To me, coaching, spirituality,mental health are extremely
(19:07):
closely linked.
Understanding the illusiondoesn't mean that you stop
engaging with the world.
It just means that you do itthrough the place of clarity and
trust.
When women coach with me, theygo through the levels of
awareness.
Eventually they start to seehow their thoughts are creating
their emotions and finallythey're able to separate
themselves from theircircumstances and start to see
(19:28):
them as neutral.
This is super powerful.
With that, I pray to Allah.
Grant me and all of us theclarity to see beyond the veils
of this world.
Help us trust that everybenefit comes from you alone and
that the means you provide arethe only path to your mercy.
O Allah, remove the emotionalweight that I attach to my
(19:50):
circumstances and let my heartfind peace in your decree.
And let my heart find peace inyour decree.
Strengthen my faith so that Iplace you before every cause and
guide me to act with sincerity,patience and gratitude.
Ameen, ya Rabbul Ameen, pleasekeep me in your duas.
I will talk to you guys nexttime.
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